What phrase will make you scream if you hear it again?
Posted by MisterWednesday6@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 655 comments
For me, it has to be "It's Black Friday" when you contact a seller to ask about a long-delayed parcel. I had this offered as an excuse for the non-appearance of a parcel that Royal Mail said would be delivered on Saturday (it wasn't), followed by "the next working day" (it wasn't) and tracking is now stuck on "parcel will be delivered 9/12"...
Physical_Disk_212@reddit
I'm not gonna lie
MisterWednesday6@reddit (OP)
Which is on a par with "I'm not racist, but..."
ZacMacFeegle@reddit
“Try this game its so addicting”….wtaf…its ‘addictive’, and people starting to talk with the word ‘so’…makes me wanna say ‘a needle pulling thread’ after it…jeez
RustyRovers@reddit
"Train Station" - You mean "railway station" or, if that's too long, just "station".
There should be enough context for others to understand that you've not gone to the police station to travel cross-country.
Mc_and_SP@reddit
“Social media influencer” when someone self-describes as one despite having a tiny social media following.
If you’ve got thousands (or millions) of followers? Sure, I find the term a little cringeworthy, but I get you likely have some influence.
If you have 30 followers (mainly your mates and family) but insist you’re some sort of “influencer”…? Nah.
chroniccomplexcase@reddit
I’m medically retired but have a YouTube channel, so when people ask what I do I never know what to say as I cringe at saying “YouTuber” so “social media influencer” or “influencer are definitely not happening. I usually say I make videos about disability things for social media.
Mc_and_SP@reddit
I think YouTuber is less cringeworthy too, at least it's an accurate description of what you're actually doing
chroniccomplexcase@reddit
Many hear “YouTuber” and think of pranksters and those sorts of videos. Usually older people who only hear of YouTube when it’s mentioned on the news because some idiot has licked ice cream tubs in the supermarket. For that demographic I just say “I make videos about disability access” and often use that for younger people (like 50 and below) and sometimes add “for YouTube” on the end. I did that at the opticians last week and she went “ooh cool, so you’re an influencer?” and I cringed so hard. Later saw she put that as my occupation
TNWhaa@reddit
Also “consume content”, you consume food and drink not a fucking film. You watch it ffs
Fullmoon-Angua@reddit
It's even more cringe when you hear of someone that's got like just a couple of thousand 'followers' and they're trying to get free meals in restaurants off the back of it as though they're a big deal. Let's face it, those kinda self-labelled influencers are not making a full time living off it. It's replaced 'blogger' as a phrase lots of unemployed people claiming benefits use purely because they don't want to admit their real employment status.
oh_f-f-s@reddit
This is very niche, but I have YouTube on for background noise when I'm working, and if I have to hear about this fucking guy's tower defence game one more time...
Vast-Heron8963@reddit
Bro
shak_0508@reddit
“Graf let’s circle back EOD tomorrow and decide whether we need to pivot or commit. I’ll discuss the value add with the stakeholders on my side, if you could do the same with the Internal champions on your end, that would be appreciated.
Really enjoying our partnership during this run, best regards.
Lugnuts”
upthewatwo@reddit
Fucking word soup.
It's not even jargon, it's people trying to make their nothing job sound more important than it is.
It's the Business Development Executive-ization of work.
It's trying to make the simplest tasks that don't actually need to be done seem exclusive, impenetrable and difficult, to inflate one's ego enough that you can look yourself in the mirror and pretend you have a real job. Because hardly anyone has a real job now. We're all just busy fools, faffing about. But if we all admitted that, everything would crumble.
But the thing is, no one really likes what we have now, so why not let it crumble?
riverY90@reddit
I just want to say I really enjoyed this comment. Let me know when your TED talk is.
upthewatwo@reddit
Haha! Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it ☺️
I would love to be well-read enough to speak convincingly to more people than just my increasingly annoyed family, but for now I recommend looking up David Graeber - his explanations of debt and Bullshit Jobs are eye-opening.
You could also do what I did and start talking about Bullshit Jobs to your managers. This is a great way to stop having a Bullshit Job and start having No Job 🤣
riverY90@reddit
Haha did you get yourself fired?? I left my bullshit office job 2 years ago, started being a travelling waitress living out my car which I turned into a sort of mini campervan. Best decision I've made. It's not gonna make me money rich but I get to meet new people all the time and see incredible things. No regrets!
Shoddy-Computer2377@reddit
It's like the apocryphal tale of the person who worked in "A high pressure customer facing role, handling multiple and competing priorities, and responsible for processing financial transactions for a high-paced corporation generating billions of dollars of revenue per year".
They were a McDonald's cashier.
GuinevereMalory@reddit
What do you mean “apocryphal” tale??? That’s all my CVs lol
NorthernSoul1977@reddit
Local gov drone here. I've noticed that a lot of career times in upper mgm have this shit nailed. They produce nothing tangible, but spout this meaningless, non-commital shit at meetings all day. It kills me.
upthewatwo@reddit
I call it Linkedinglish, the feedback loop of people reading the meaningless dross on LI all day and then thinking that's how they're supposed to speak and interact in real life. Modern life makes me sad.
Frogman_Adam@reddit
I like my nothing job though. I can do all I need to in 3-4 hours a day. Because I work from home, that means I can do things around the house and have more me time and family time each day, without compromising salary.
The company I work for are happy with what I’m doing. I’m happy with it. So let it be!
Olelander@reddit
Honestly, that’s wonderful. I am in America, and I had that life for the first two years of the pandemic. Unfortunately, I stepped up and took my boss’ job when he left, and that was the end of a glorious chapter. Covid strangely offered me both the worst and best two years of my adult life, simultaneously. I taught myself woodworking with the extra time. I relished afternoon cat naps and lunch with my wife when she came home. It was an apex quality of life for me, in a lot of ways.
Jetamio85@reddit
I hope to God you’re private sector.
Frogman_Adam@reddit
Haha, yes. 100% private sector. Software engineer. No public contracts that I’m aware of
rositree@reddit
Eloquently put.
Let it crumble, see what rises from the remnants. Or just drown it in custard...
upthewatwo@reddit
You'll rhubarb the day you got me started on dessert puns
CometGoat@reddit
“End of play” makes me mouth obscenities very visibly
No_Mix5391@reddit
Chance would be a fine thing… a fine thing indeed
Accurate_Prompt_8800@reddit
Let’s touch base on this by COB, we need to tackle the low-hanging fruit to create a value-add proposition. Ping me if you encounter any roadblocks.
Silly-Canary-916@reddit
Can you put it in a one pager?
RedDotLot@reddit
Going forward...
HotPinkLollyWimple@reddit
…myself and my team will put this on the daily pad…
Pilchard123@reddit
"Forward planning"
Knowledge3859@reddit
As per my last email...
Ze_Gremlin@reddit
This is email speak for: "read what I fucking said, moron"
MarrV@reddit
I read this and smiled because I have literally heard this nearly xsctly word for word just yesterday.
Cheesy_Wotsit@reddit
Don't forget having some white space to book that in
HouseOnTheHill-Devs@reddit
We have to explore the art of the possible so we can really gain some traction and start moving at pace.
probablyonthebog@reddit
This is why I don't work in an office.
Electrical-Leave4787@reddit
I hadn’t see your #kmn emoji at first. I was gonna say “I couldn’t work there”. That type of patter makes me wanna puke!
Possible-Ad-2682@reddit
I feel that you're just picking the low hanging fruit with this comment. For crying out loud won't you try to think outside of the envelope?
Evilclown22@reddit
I wretched reading the first line
DeepStatic@reddit
I once dated an awful human being with an awful family. Her awful father - a banker, a bully, and a chav all in one - said 'in all fairness' before every single sentence.
"Hi awful-person's-awful-dad, how was your day?"
"In all fairness it was ok. The commute to the city was terrible but in all fairness it's Friday."
"Any plans for the weekend?"
"In all fairness I'm going to go buy a new Ralph Lauren puffer jacket 'cause in all fairness it's getting pretty cold outside but in all fairness it is december and in all fairness I am getting a fat bonus because I'm an important banker"
Just awful.
Huditut@reddit
My brother in law ends every sentence with "you know what I mean"
"What did you have for lunch?" "I had a sandwich, you know what I mean"
Longjumping_Jury_973@reddit
Is your brother in law Liam Gallagher?!
Huditut@reddit
Nope, nowhere near as educated either.
AffectionateFig9277@reddit
I recently realised I do this except it's "to be honest"! Especially when typing, I just tbh all the time tbh. Tbh I guess it could be worse.
_hobknoblin@reddit
Foreigner here, almost had to stop watching telly in hotels because of ”Sold my car to webuyanycar”
MisterWednesday6@reddit (OP)
There are plenty of Brits who do that too, trust me...
United-Pumpkin8460@reddit
Hehe i like it
ThickParticular7277@reddit
Surreal. Often used wrongly.
Jedi_Emperor@reddit
I had an American ask me how Brits celebrate Thanksgiving. He didn't understand when I said we don't have thanksgiving, it's an American thing. I knew more about the history than he did and most of that came from South park.
rositree@reddit
I've also had an American ask me if the British have the 4th of July. Told her: Nah, it goes 3rd, 5th in UK and it took a little too long for the penny to drop.
Jedi_Emperor@reddit
Ironically this year our big election was on their fireworks night and their big election was on our fireworks night.
Olelander@reddit
Tell me about your fireworks night. I’m American, and curious what your Holiday represents?
128202@reddit
It's Guy Fawkes Night, which comes on the anniversary of a failed attempt to blow up parliament centuries ago. There is also a bonfire where we burn a (fake) man, to represent Guy Fawkes.
Jedi_Emperor@reddit
And instead of a nice relaxing summer evening we do it in November where it's freezing cold and probably raining.
Sean_13@reddit
It's the most British of holidays of celebrating a guy fucking up.
rositree@reddit
Not just a guy, The Guy
Sean_13@reddit
I did wonder if anyone would notice that pun
ChrisRR@reddit
Americans don't understand sarcasm. But if you ever say that to americans they get all defensive and list like two Chandler Bing style comedians
27106_4life@reddit
The first Thanksgiving was in 1620 when the pilgrims in what is now America were decidedly English, and would be for another 150 years.
Waitrose and Sainsbury's now do Thanksgiving specials. It is not an odd question at this point to ask what we do for thanksgiving, especially as so many people now celebrate it in England.
Apparently 1 in 6 of is celebrate it now. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2014/nov/27/britsgiving-one-in-six-britons-celebrate-thanksgiving https://www.waitrose.com/ecom/shop/browse/entertaining/shop_by_occasion/thanksgiving?srsltid=AfmBOop-lj5xJ7hFJVqRShc1EqIpjm9K7ogWgKhANKLsQEzCil2MeJro
128202@reddit
I feel like they must have used a very loose definition for "celebrating thanksgiving" because I just don't possibly see how this could be true. I don't know a single person who celebrated thanksgiving, and most people I know probably didn't even know when it was. I know it's anecdotal, but if this was true surely I would be witness to more than zero people celebrating thanksgiving??
27106_4life@reddit
Depends where you're located. I went to three different thanksgiving celebrations this year. one hosted by a Brit, one hosted by a German, one by an American. That's in London though which is more multicultural than say, Wales
128202@reddit
That makes sense. Maybe their definition of a 'Brit' is what was loose, because nobody I know who was born and raised in the UK celebrated it.
VolcanicBear@reddit
Yeah. Why would we celebrate their successful colonisation and displacement of an aboriginal people?
Olelander@reddit
Have you, uh, peeked at British colonial history per chance? Wonder where they got that behavior from?
VolcanicBear@reddit
Yep, English people are taught a lot about English history in school. People leaving the country because they want to go steal land from near enough the entire world is included in that.
Secret963@reddit
Pilgrims were British though?
27106_4life@reddit
English
hallerz87@reddit
Yes, Brits when they were killing the natives but then American when they were fighting the Brits. It’s flexible
Uhura-hoop@reddit
Brill 😆 my limited knowledge about Napoleon is nearly all from ABBA’s Waterloo
cragglerock93@reddit
Napoleon famously wore knee high boots and a sparkly blue ensemble.
colin_staples@reddit
You'd be surprised how much of my history knowledge comes from series 2-4 of Blackadder
Geegee91@reddit
Susie Izzard taught me all I know about geek mythology
livesinateapot@reddit
Blackadder is a great source of historical information!
Uhura-hoop@reddit
Excellent me too, come to think of it😆 let’s hope they didn’t change too many facts for comedy purposes or we are screwed in the exam
AlwaysTired1999@reddit
Actually son, George IV WAS killed and replaced by his butler, your text books are wrong.
chroniccomplexcase@reddit
Same for me and Hamilton from the musical!
cranbrook_aspie@reddit
Should have gone the opposite way and pretended you had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. “…er, I think we just say you’re welcome? Oh wow, you have a special day just to give thanks? Other cultures are so fascinating!”
27106_4life@reddit
1 in 6 English people celebrate it.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2014/nov/27/britsgiving-one-in-six-britons-celebrate-thanksgiving
tookMYshovelwithme@reddit
But it's not exclusively American. Canadians celebrate it too at a different time of year due to the earlier harvest season. Here it coincides with Oktoberfest, and in some areas they blend the two.
hoyfish@reddit
Acshually we used to celebrate it centuries ago back in reformation days
Eayauapa@reddit
How were they going to celebrate something during the Reformation that wouldn't happen yet for another 90 years?
hoyfish@reddit
See Harvest Festival of Thanksgiving (pre-Christian) And The American version from day of thankgiving
BrieflyVerbose@reddit
He didn't understand that Brits would celebrate the time the pilgrims learned all the natives tricks and tips on how to farm the land. Then go on to slaughter those same natives a little later on.
pip_goes_pop@reddit
On the subject of Royal Mail - "We were unable to deliver because your property was inaccessible".
Bollocks was it, you were just running late so didn't even bother. I don't mind you being late but don't shift the blame on to me.
invincible-zebra@reddit
‘Nobody was home’ mate, I’ve been home the entire 0900-2100 delivery window. You didn’t deliver.
ashensfan123@reddit
I've had an evri driver take a picture of my delivered parcel, then I received a notification that the parcel couldn't be delivered. It was so annoying.
MelodicAd2213@reddit
I had Royal Mail send me an evidence pic of my parcel on their depot floor. I’ve never lived in their depot.
ashensfan123@reddit
Not with that attitude you won't! In all seriousness that sounds incredibly frustrating.
MelodicAd2213@reddit
It turned up a couple of days later, I did alert my postie about it too,
MisterWednesday6@reddit (OP)
If RM were honest and had a tracking status that said "Too many parcels, not enough staff", I'd respect them more.
ill_never_GET_REAL@reddit
They do but it's buried in menus and managers bully posties out of using it. I don't know if couriers have the same option but they all do the same shit.
hideyourarms@reddit
FedEx always tell me that my business was closed if they don’t deliver. The funny thing is that the update comes around 2pm each time so I know it’s just that the driver has run out of time on their round. I can usually predict if it will be delivered based on when the package gets loaded onto a van.
Don’t tell me my business is closed, it’s a status update that they have to know will annoy the customer because if it’s 2pm midweek, not many businesses are closed.
EmeraldSunrise4000@reddit
I hate it when Amazon packages get delivered to literally inside the bushes outside my house? I specifically put in the delivery instructions where I want packages put but it’s also really fucking obvious whether they should go as well, and I don’t want to be pissing around in the bushes trying to find my parcel
Confused-Lama0810@reddit
That "Inaccessible" phrase gets piped to you because the postie doesn't have the option on the software to say "We were unable to deliver because the walks have all been made too long to get round in the allotted shift, so we didn't even get to your street," which is usually what has happened.
Good posties learn to prioritise, and make sure parcels, which in the main are what people are actually waiting for, are prioritised over pizza leaflets, Matalan catalogues, etc. But that, even in quieter times, means they are having to cut letter deliveries to do that.
A new postie, though, will generally just run out of time and have to cut off, and then scan his undelivered tracked parcels (which he has to scan to show he has "attempted delivery,") as "inaccessible," or, worse "no answer."
It's because they have run out of time on their delivery.
Helpful-Fennel-7468@reddit
And remember, it’s never, ever the posties fault 😂
toonlass91@reddit
We had that when we had a new fence put in. If he’d even tried the gate, he’d have got in fine. Strange that a second postie got in with the parcel later that day
Andromeda98_@reddit
"confused.com" It wasn't even funny when it was still relevant.
sleepingjiva@reddit
See also: "simples"
thisisapa33word@reddit
Oh my fucking god, I forgot about that. No.
Miasmata@reddit
I hate that, and it's always the same people saying it for some reason
GuinevereMalory@reddit
Yeah, it should be confused.co.uk
Savings-Carpet-3682@reddit
Back in those days people used to say dot com after anything even if it wasn’t a mainstream website like “oh I am hungry dot com”
TheFlyingHornet1881@reddit
That idea is just rotten dot com
oktimeforplanz@reddit
Back in those days? Those days are still here, I'm sad to say. My mum has a co-worker in her 60s that uses it at least weekly. I've also seen it used in various FB groups where people in their 50s+ are to be found.
batteryforlife@reddit
Or ”its the bomb dot com”. No it isnt Sheryl.
vizard0@reddit
I moved here two years ago, saw my first "confused.com" ad about a month ago (guess they decided to start advertising during Bakeoff) and am completely mystified as to the product, the ad, the music, everything. It might as well have been in Welsh or Finnish for all that I could understand what was going on. All I could figure out is that it's something to do with money and they probably have a proprietary app instead of a functional mobile website.
foxjerk@reddit
I hate the use of ‘in terms of”. Usually used as padding in a sentence to sound articulate and is often unnecessary. In terms of understanding a sentence, the phrase “in terms of” is usually not required!
colin_staples@reddit
"I could care less"
No.
You couldn't care less.
You said the literal opposite of this.
QuasarCollision@reddit
"On Accident"
thisisapa33word@reddit
Ah wonderful, I can feel the rage rising.
colin_staples@reddit
"By purpose" being the partner phrase, of course
BlokeyBlokeBloke@reddit
You aren't "head over heels". You are heels over head. You said the literal opposite of this.
Oh wait. Nobody gets upset about that particular idiom. Because normal people know that sometimes idioms don't mean what they would mean if taken literally.
GuinevereMalory@reddit
….I always pictured someone falling over like, your head is going forward before your heels because you have fallen to the ground hahahahaha
BlokeyBlokeBloke@reddit
It used to be "heels over head" because that is the description of what is happening, things turned upside down. But over time the wording got reversed but people still knew what was meant because that is how idioms work. Just like how people know what "I could care less" means, but because they think it makes them look clever they pretend to care about one and not the other.
colin_staples@reddit
I literally did a full 360 on this
Then-Fix-2012@reddit
The best part is when Americans double down and try to justify this abomination by claiming it’s intentional and supposed to be ironic or some shit.
hauntingruby1975@reddit
I’m on a rewatch of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and one of them said “I couldn’t care less…”. I damn near cheered! Is it a recent change I wonder?
Chevalitron@reddit
It's the same way they all started saying "how it looks like" but older American literature doesn't. At some point someone said it wrongly and kids who didn't know any better spread it until they became adults and replaced the original forms.
GuinevereMalory@reddit
Saying “how it looks like” as opposed to what?
Chevalitron@reddit
"how it looks" or "what it looks like".
Then-Fix-2012@reddit
Nah Americans have always said both but the could version has been becoming more common for some reason.
dmmeyourfloof@reddit
Lack of education?
JammyWaad@reddit
Bender says “could” in The Breakfast Club so they have been getting wrong long before Buffy.
Turquoise_dinosaur@reddit
In the new Wicked film Elphaba corrects Glinda on this and it gave me hope that maybe Americans might correct themselves more now
27106_4life@reddit
And you just hate Americans. Cool
Then-Fix-2012@reddit
Only the sensitive ones that can’t take a ribbing.
27106_4life@reddit
Maybe we should stop pretending xenophobic hateful comments is just "banter"
awkwardwankmaster@reddit
I saw someone say that they both mean the same now because people have been using it wrong for so long that they now mean the same thing or some shite
FUCKFASCISTSCUM@reddit
I mean that's true. That's how language works. It's why awful means the opposite of what it used to mean. That said 'could care less' and 'could of' still trigger my inner prescriptivist rage lol
alixxxandr@reddit
Thank you for giving me something to Google that I never knew previously (the original meaning of awful)
Also, cool username!
FUCKFASCISTSCUM@reddit
If you're interested in the overall phenomenon then I'd suggest looking into 'linguistic drift'. Language is SUPER fascinating and fun to learn about imo.
Also thank you! I chose it mostly to filter out the kinds of people I don't want to interact with, and so far it's worked like a charm lol.
Extension_Common_518@reddit
Quite right. What is a new and annoying word or phrase used by “the youth of today” becomes a standard and accepted part of the language which then becomes a ridiculous archaism. There is a reason why most modern English speakers can’t make head nor tail of Beowulf, need real effort to read Chaucer, find Elizabethan prose a bit of a chore and raise an eyebrow at some of the words and expressions on those great 19th century novels. “Ik ne can beliff min eoren att wot he sayeth “ might be a genuine piece of Middle English or it might be completely made up pastiche. Not many people could tell the difference.
jimicus@reddit
Technically speaking that’s true. Language means what people take it to mean, and if enough people say the same words to mean the same thing, that’s exactly what happens.
A hundred years from now it’ll be so common that people will wonder how it came about in the first place. You’ll say “I couldn’t care less” to your grandchildren and they’ll correct you.
dmmeyourfloof@reddit
Nope.
That only applies to native speakers.
Then-Fix-2012@reddit
I can accept that they do mean the same thing now but it will forever make me die a little inside hearing it.
dmmeyourfloof@reddit
As if they understand irony....
KoreanJesusPleasures@reddit
The best part is thinking this someone an American thing!
Ok_Shirt983@reddit
Also "could of" no, you "could have" or "could've".
LowAdministration229@reddit
I'm guilty of "could of", despite generally being very careful and militant with this kind of stuff ("hence why" is one of my hated ones)
I think it's cause "could've" sounds so similar, my brain just automatically forms and spits out the two individual words instead.
Nekyia1112@reddit
I work in customer services, and the amount of damned adults that can't get this right is astounding
See also: please don't hesitate to contact ourselves, please hold while I look into this for yourself, if you want to reach out, you can ask for myself
What.The.Fuck.
HotPinkLollyWimple@reddit
I have a colleague who uses myself/yourself all the bloody time. And types his instead of he’s. I want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon very time I read one of his emails.
GlennSWFC@reddit
I worked in a call centre where loads of people added on superfluous “self”s. I think a lot of it was to give themselves a little bit extra thinking time or to fill a bit of the gap while they were typing out notes. Other people, however, just heard others doing it and thought that was how they were supposed to talk.
90210fred@reddit
Astounding Vs outstanding:(
Nekyia1112@reddit
I'm not sure if this was directed at me or not, but astounding is the correct word in the context I was using it - just in case😅
90210fred@reddit
I KNOW!!
Suspicious_Dig_6727@reddit
Outstounding!
jelly10001@reddit
I silently cheered when one of the characters corrected another character on this in Wicked.
freshsandwiches@reddit
See also "could give a shit".
lisbethplus2@reddit
Today I had to question my husband to make sure I have been using this saying right (I use couldn’t not could) as so many people say “I could care less” i am deaf so thought I may have misheard it
deadgoodundies@reddit
Someone has been watching David Mitchells Soapbox
https://youtu.be/om7O0MFkmpw?si=HaTfkc7tvIdXhZPr&t=49
Mumstheword76@reddit
'Murcans
Joshthenosh77@reddit
Unalived
mycatiscalledFrodo@reddit
And grape. Stop using silly words to disguise the horror of the thing, it just diminishes the crime and makes it less powerful
RustyRovers@reddit
Oh, you mean "non-consensual passionate hugging"?
This has to stop.
mycatiscalledFrodo@reddit
Yes. No more cutesy names for genitalia, suicide, rape, murder, assault etc
cosx13@reddit
And saying euphemisms like self deletion instead of suicide. It feels disrespectful, it’s turning awful things into meme-like pithy catchphrases.
iwanttobeacavediver@reddit
A lot of it is to do with social media trying to ensure 'problematic' content isn't getting promoted but is instead moderated. Problem is that it then penalizes actually useful or respectful content. It actually happened to a channel I follow- a gynaecologist whose videos I watch was often given strikes even though her content is purely educational, because of course she was sometimes talking about sexual content.
forel237@reddit
I’m a psychiatrist, and one of our nurses wrote in someone’s medical record about their thoughts to unalive themselves
GuinevereMalory@reddit
NO, please tell me this is not true
Knowledge3859@reddit
this is the only one that I genuinely hate
I've seen youtubers censor themselves by referring to a guy accused of raping kids as a 'PDF file', absolutely nauseating
Kcufasu@reddit
The most annoying part about that is that since hearing it used now every time I'm genuinely talking about pdf files I think I'm going to accidentally say paedophiles - would never have thought about it sounding similar otherwise
ChrisRR@reddit
I'm Peter File!
Huditut@reddit
Only good for comedy purposes, not for actual conversations.
DoctorOctagonapus@reddit
I'm seeing it on here as well. Just no, it's bad enough that Youtube et al are enforcing it.
jimicus@reddit
Let me add all the ways people censor themselves. It’s like YouTubes habit of demonetising videos based on content is creeping into people’s online vocabulary.
Shoddy-Computer2377@reddit
YouTube is just a disaster. Comments just vanish immediately and get auto-filtered with no warning, no explanation, you are never told why.
Parsnipnose3000@reddit
Watching Love Island Australia with my partner we recently heard the phrase "gang gang" about 30 times per episode which makes us want to commit violent acts when we hear it.
Other than that people on reality TV beat boxing, especially those that making the "tss tss tss tsss..." noise at every possible opportunity. Someone on MAFs recently did that all season.
Yes I know, we should watch better TV. But we enjoy watching that crap together.
banisheduser@reddit
"technical problems"
The catch all for:
Broken down No spare parts and we don't know what to do Staff can't be arsed Someone pushed the wrong button Button broken off Needs a new bulb Needs a brand new part
phatboi23@reddit
i usually use it for "i'd spend more time explaining the issue and you asking questions than me just going and fixing it."
DoctorOctagonapus@reddit
I use it for a problem that's too complicated for the average user to understand.
beingthehunt@reddit
In my experience having used this phrase in various customer service jobs, here is what I would most often use it for:
Maybe in other industries 'staff can't be arsed' is one time this phrase is used (I'm thinking jobs where the person you speak to is also the one doing a service) but I've worked various call centre jobs and this would almost never be the case there because invariably it's easier to just do a thing rather than deal with annoyed general public.
nouazecisinoua@reddit
In my current role it's a mix of your 2nd bullet point and staff not being arsed... But it's not me who can't be arsed, it's the people who could actually fix the issue. And I can't tell the customer "yeah it's because the boss hasn't pressed the one button that he should have pressed 3 months ago".
This_Suit8791@reddit
When people say brought instead of bought
pip_goes_pop@reddit
"We are currently experiencing unusually high call volumes"
No you're not, you've been like this consistently since covid kicked off.
adamMatthews@reddit
Report it here
https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/report-high-call-volumes/
They’re collecting data to see who the worst offenders are. Not sure what they’ll do with it, but even a bit of public naming and shaming is better than just letting them get away with it.
paolog@reddit
Bound to be for a future Martin Lewis Money Show.
Tymexathane@reddit
Any call volume is high when you only employ one person to answer the phone. Employ more people. Cnuts
paolog@reddit
They're trying to hold back the tide.
Nearby-Percentage867@reddit
“In these unprecedented times…”
rcgl2@reddit
On a related note I'm sick of hearing people claiming that the current world is more dangerous than it's ever been. What? My grandparents were all born at the start of World War 1, they lived through and fought in World War 2, and by the time they retired they then lived through the entire Cold War, including the Cuban Missile Crisis where the world was on the brink of nuclear war. And that's just the last century! Think how brutal and unstable life was for literally all of human history before that.
We are living in times that are arguably more unstable than they have been for the past decade or two at most. And anyone living in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Libya, Sudan , Haiti and numerous other places would likely disagree with that.
Yamsfordays@reddit
Not disagreeing with you, just offering an interesting fact.
During WWI, Spanish flu killed more people than the actual war. It was definitely a more dangerous time but the war wasn’t the most dangerous thing going on.
Status_Common_9583@reddit
And when it comes to WW2 - despite breaking both of her legs at the same time, having random kids coming to stay as evacuees, and navigating blackouts my grandma said she found Covid more scary. Didn’t expect that answer tbh
paolog@reddit
To be fair, your grandma was more likely to succumb to Covid given her age.
rcgl2@reddit
Very true!
boudicas_shield@reddit
I'm an editor, and about halfway through COVID I started removing "unprecedented times" from all my writers' articles and told them they weren't allowed to use it anymore. Lol.
Nearby-Percentage867@reddit
Doing the Lords work
paulmclaughlin@reddit
Hopefully the Lord in question isn't Rothermere
paolog@reddit
Lords, as in cricket.
dmmeyourfloof@reddit
Technically, if you believe in that schtick, COVID was the lord's work.
cragglerock93@reddit
In fairness, Covid really was unprecedented in lots of ways. It's just that the phrase became a cliché.
boudicas_shield@reddit
It was and it wasn’t. The previous global pandemic was only about a century prior, so it’s not like nobody has ever heard of a well-documented pandemic before.
But it was unprecedented in our lifetimes, so it didn’t bother me at first. But after about a year the phrase had worn very thin; it had become cliched writing and it also wasn’t accurate or applicable in any sense anymore, so I gave it the boot.
cragglerock93@reddit
But because of our economy, knowledge of how to deal with it, and our lifestyles, living through Covid was massively different to living through the Spanish Flu. What other times have we been obliged to stay indoors for most of the day, unable to see other people in person, be required to work from home or not work at all? Lockdowns were unprecedented and that's what most people remember about Covid, more so than the virus itself.
That said, I'm not a lockdown critic. But it was scary and completely new to everyone involved.
I do understand why you did away with the phrase though, because it becomes tiring reading the same thing over and over.
boudicas_shield@reddit
All good points! And yes, the reason I finally scratched it was because it had become too repetitive and just wasn’t a fresh or helpful phrasing anymore.
guzusan@reddit
That and ‘now, more than ever’ 🤢
Wibblejellytime@reddit
Now make them stop referring to the ongoing pandemic in the past tense please?
boudicas_shield@reddit
I’m at a new job unfortunately (for these purposes, anyway: good for me as it pays more) and no longer have the power. :( But I did what I could with the power I had, when I had it. 🫡
crazyhorse91@reddit
It is in the past
whowhatwhenwereY@reddit
Doing god's work
29124@reddit
Booked my MOT the other day (Northern Ireland so I have to book with the government operated centres) and it reminded me in my appointment confirmation to maintain social distancing in line with COVID guidelines 🥲
They still make you wait outside in the bus shelter too. Previously you could sit inside (it’s a massive test hall with multiple lanes) but they stopped that during COVID and have just stuck with it.
mycatiscalledFrodo@reddit
We still have to book to go to the tip and the staff aren't allowed to help, still. It's a pain in the arse if you are doing a spring clean or de-junking the kids rooms or guarding as you don't know if you'll need to go one or twice and you can't book on the day.
Electrical-Leave4787@reddit
IKR 🙄
AlephMartian@reddit
Yep, “unprecedented” is getting pretty precedented by now…
paolog@reddit
FTFY.
Saintesky@reddit
Yep, looking at you, ESURE, with this, and to misquote a previous era’s most hated phrase, “no, I won’t calm down dear”. Get FUCKED.
thefooby@reddit
Combine this with waiting for 5 minutes while they explain all the of ways to do what you’re trying to do online which obviously you’ve already tried and that’s why you’re calling.
101100101000100101@reddit
I'm sure Martin Lewis was looking into this. Not sure what came of it though
Chevalitron@reddit
I don't think he has the power to force firms to hire more call centre staff.
alixxxandr@reddit
I don't think he has any power. Quite why he's a 'money saving expert' is beyond me.
DispensingMachine403@reddit
Finally, someone else thinks the same.
I always wondered how much money he makes from 'saving' us plebs money.
Longjumping_Jury_973@reddit
I'm not sure why you've put saving in quotation marks, he does offer a lot of useful advice and lobbies for a lot of consumer rights. Sure, he only has so much he can do, but I think there are much worse people to get annoyed at than Martin Lewis.
Electrical-Leave4787@reddit
I bet this is gaslighting and really the speaker 🔊 is set too LOUD 🙉.
It’d be interesting to have metrics on every call throughout the day. Call durations and queues. My suspicion is that there is not a phone ringing constantly with 1000s calls at all. There’s just nobody picking up.
I recall working in call centres, where we’d answer on ONE ring ⚡️ We also wrapped up calls efficiently.
jimicus@reddit
I found my GP was doing exactly this. Phone ringing constantly, nobody answering.
Physically rock up to the surgery at 08:30, could get an appointment no problem. Call up, and you’d sit on hold while a couple of cackling receptionists were nattering in the office.
Shoddy-Computer2377@reddit
If you want or need to see the GP? Good luck, not happening mate. Now piss off.
The GP decides they want or need to see you? That's 8am tomorrow by the way, clear your diary, not my problem.
iwanttobeacavediver@reddit
My local hospital did this to me. Went for a gynaecology appointment that was supposedly 'urgent'. Appointment time was 1.30pm according to their system and my letter. Somehow they managed to be running 1.5hr late in an otherwise empty clinic. Nobody knew what the reason for the delay even was.
Finally, I ended up telling them at 3pm I was due at work at 5 and needed to leave soon if I wasn't going to be seen that day and the consultant was magically found, my appointment was less than 5min and I was able to leave.
HotPinkLollyWimple@reddit
I have just sorted my shifts so I have 2 whole days to try to see my gp. I do not fancy my chances.
therealdan0@reddit
In most large call centres the handler’s phone won’t even ring. They aren’t given the choice to answer, it’s BEEEP!!! And some unhappy customer is shouting at you.
I definitely do not miss that. I did my two years. Never again.
NorthernSoul1977@reddit
Yep. Often followed by a long spiel along the lines of 'did you know you can access most of our services online?'
'Yes, you pricks, of course I knew that - I tried that first and it didn't work, that's why I'm here!'
-You_Cant_Stop_Me-@reddit
The thing that pisses me off the most is how often it's repeated. I know I'm on hold that's why you're playing me a tinny version of Beethoven's 5th symphony on repeat, you don't need to keep telling me every minute.
nouazecisinoua@reddit
Constantly thinking the hold music has stopped because someone's picking up, but no, it's just another "your call is important to us..."
WanderWomble@reddit
"did you know your local pharmacy can help with minor...."
Yes. Fuck off repeating it to me. I want to see my GP.
batteryforlife@reddit
Its the worst kind of fake out, getting my hopes up by stopping the music, silence… then a recorded message. Gah.
michaeldaph@reddit
My bank offers 3 different wait alternatives, light listening, local music, or silence. The silence is great, just interrupted every 3mins by a brief “please don’t hang up”. My choice every time.
jomabu23@reddit
This!
"Your call is important to us", repeated every 30 seconds ad nauseam, demonstrating the exact opposite...
🤬
Consistent-Dance5461@reddit
I use to work in call centre's (changed career thank god) the reason for the experiencing unusual call volumes messages is they refuse to hire enough people.to answer the calls, so there is always people in the queue, because God forbid someone has 2 minutes break in-between calls.
lilbunnygal@reddit
As someone who currently works for a call centre I can confirm this.
dmmeyourfloof@reddit
Or Vivaldi's Four Seasons, Spring
Ophiochos@reddit
Since Covid? Hahahaha wrong decade (not exaggerating)
onionsofwar@reddit
Since before COVID this has been the standard pre-recorded message when calling almost any call centre. 'Sorry, we're currently experiencing much higher volumes of calls than we want to budget for answering in under 10 minutes'
exitstrats@reddit
Since covid??? I don't think I've ever experienced a time without this being the default.
DasharrEandall@reddit
"Your call is important to us..."
Obviously it's not because you won't pay for enough staff to answer the fucking phone.
Eastern-Ad4890@reddit
Exactly!
rustynoodle3891@reddit
Years before that.
Tesourinh0923@reddit
That's because they have the minimal amount of operators on the line who are all overworked and underpaid.
SamVimesBootTheory@reddit
Used to get 'We are busy, try calling at 10am' when calling the DWP
At 10am
Beneficial-Metal-666@reddit
Nah, call centres being short-staffed has been a thing since time immemorial. Long predates Covid.
TheLocalEcho@reddit
Maybe they could argue that they are open for less than 12 hours per day, so the most common call volume will be 0. Any time when they’re open is unusual.
redminx17@reddit
To my memory, they've been doing that since long before COVID (although it got many times worse with the pandemic).
jj920lc@reddit
Arrrghhh can’t stand this. It’s not unusual if you haven’t turned off the message for 5 years!
obbitz@reddit
Basically, at the end of the day, you know what I mean.
Saintesky@reddit
“Insert something person doesn’t like” is woke.
lipperinlupin@reddit
I keep saying "it is what it is". I hate it and wish I would stop.
IndependentAd2419@reddit
“Thrown under the bus”
Boldboy72@reddit
"Black Friday" needs to be banned by law. It is an American thing and is utterly meaningless over here. You'll note that the deals offered are never very good either. The origin was to clear out all the crap they couldn't sell that year so they could stock up on Christmas stuff. Now we no longer have traditional style sales anymore.
Langeveldt@reddit
Happy Friday
ChrisRR@reddit
I can't stand the americanism of adding "ass" after an adjective. He was a rude ass person. That was a big ass sneeze
Especially as brits have to intentionally mispronounce arse in order to say it
MickRolley@reddit
IYKYK
ChrisRR@reddit
It's so pointless because it achieves nothing. Either you do know what they're talking about and IYKYK adds nothing, or you don't know and without IYKYK you would've been equally oblivious
Consistent_Sale_7541@reddit
So annoying.. I don’t know and I Don’t Care IDKAIDC
Ze_Gremlin@reddit
Kevin Bloody Wilson: DILLIGAF! (Does It Look Like I Give A Fuck)
MickRolley@reddit
Ai pic of Blockbuster video: IFKYK
ffsdomagain@reddit
Cockwomble - what a bloody awful insult.
ChrisRR@reddit
It's always people trying too hard to be funny. The people who've been told that they're the funny one in the office
NorthernSoul1977@reddit
My elderly boss, who gets twice my pay and is mostly a self-serving chancer, was chuckling to herself in a meeting a while back. She had to explain that she'd heard the 'best insult ever'. 'cockwomble!' she announced, and the sychophants in the meeting all laughed along.
I hated it already, but this made it way worse...
Amphibian-Silver@reddit
Any of these insults: Cockwomble, muppet, melt, donut, wet wipe.
Stop using them. A simple 'cunt' will usually suffice.
chocolate-and-rum@reddit
But womble cock is a whole different matter. (or was I the only one with a thing for Orinoco?)
Ze_Gremlin@reddit
Womblecock sounds like something from Family Guy or something..
Overly british stereotype bloke trying to explain to the main characters the rules of cricket, and he talks about the role of the womblecock
ffsdomagain@reddit
He does have that Flow!
DoctorOctagonapus@reddit
I refuse to believe the person who came up with that word was actually British.
ffsdomagain@reddit
It screams of someone who's been allowed to swear for the first time.
DoctorOctagonapus@reddit
It sounds like someone from America making fun of us, like "haha those funny Brits here's the kind of quirky insult they'd call you".
ffsdomagain@reddit
Haha great shout!
SlippyA@reddit
"To be fair"... no! Fuck off!
PurpleSparkles3200@reddit
“I could care less”.
RinVersailles@reddit
"because of the previous government"
We know the previous government fucked up that's why we elected you!
"socialism is the work of satan"
If having a system where by paying taxes in order to have free healthcare for everyone not just the rich is the work of the devil then what the fuck is the work of God? Leaving people to choose not to call an ambulance or go to a hospital because they're scared that the insurance won't cover.
Intelligent-Talk7073@reddit
It is what it is 😡
No_Welder_1043@reddit
Fun fact: If we even did such a thing a "black Friday," it would be in February as our financial year is different from the septics.
Glocklestop@reddit
"I'm not gonna lie" makes me think they're a frequent bullshitter.
Eisenmaus@reddit
When my boss asks, "Have you got two minutes?" Then he wastes 45 minutes of my time.
Eisenmaus@reddit
"Have you got two minutes?" Before taking up 45 minutes of my time.
Crhallan@reddit
“Platty Jubes”.
MelodicAd2213@reddit
Well that’s not going to happen for a very long time now
Mticore@reddit
Hopefully never.
Maxwellian79@reddit
We got your back.
Affectionate-One-159@reddit
£22bn black 🕳
Darkgreenbirdofprey@reddit
'Yes' Jokes done wrong. They have to be a response to a question where there is one answer or another.
Correct example: Would you like ice cream or custard with your dessert? Yes!
Example that doesn't make sense: How tired are you? Yes!
Most common joke upvoted on social media and it's infuriating.
ProfessionalCar2774@reddit
"Biggest sale ever!" - every chain every other week...
ComprehensiveAd8815@reddit
Your call is important to us…
BuncleCar@reddit
John Lewis had a sign a year or two ago - It's Black Friday ... For two weeks
Violet351@reddit
Touch base or manage your expectations
BasherBrad@reddit
I’m busy, touch yourself.
Scorpiodancer123@reddit
Haha that made me cackle.
Ze_Gremlin@reddit
Oh go on.. just one touch
Consistent_Sale_7541@reddit
I Hate the phrase manage your expectations grrrrr
Violet351@reddit
I once had a boss that said it all the time
Engels33@reddit
Why don't we circle back to that one later but in the interim I think WE need to reset our expectations of what can be achieved in the interim and we can touch base on that at a later point in time.
Violet351@reddit
Noooooooooo
DaHappyCyclops@reddit
"I'm speaking MY truth"
Scorpiodancer123@reddit
I'm willing to bet this the same people who are "brutally honest" and tote the "if they can't handle me at my worst, then they don't deserve me at my best" line.
Separate_Potato_8472@reddit
Which is packed with real lies.
DaHappyCyclops@reddit
It's more that it's "this is my opinion, I'm not allowing you the opportunity to question it"
Everyone's allowed to be wrong, sure - but this attitude of being unquestionable is simply depreciative of societal function.
roloem91@reddit
No but I love this one because when my baby is screaming I like to say to her “I hear that’s your truth, but is it THE truth?” And for some reason it cracks me up every time and makes things seem more manageable.
Final_Reserve_5048@reddit
I’m 👏🏻speaking 👏🏻my 👏🏻truth 👏🏻
FUCK OFF
Professional_Base708@reddit
It is what it is
_1489555458biguy@reddit
Next up on Gogglebox!
Sharp_Coat_6631@reddit
Happy Christmas. It’s merry Christmas. You would not say merry new year. So don’t say happy Christmas. 🤯
GakkoAtarashii@reddit
At the end of the day.
It adds nothing
Nummy01@reddit
Based, cringe. Makes me STABBY!
ButteredReality@reddit
"My/your/his/her/their truth".
Yeah, you're clearly confused. Do you mean "the truth". Or do you mean "my/your/his/her/their opinion? Experience? Version of events? Point of view?"
"My/your/his/her/their truth" is a complete nonsense.
IAmStrayed@reddit
Love island speak: ‘lipsing’, ‘got the ick’, etc.
PsychologicalDrone@reddit
Any one of the common ignorant American statements:
“You’d be speaking German if it wasn’t for us”
“You only have free healthcare due to American money”
“Blah blah blah greatest country in the world”
“Blah blah blah freedom”
“Blah blah blah strongest military in the world”
“We invented [insert product they didn’t invent, merely commercialised]”
Does my nut in
AnUdderDay@reddit
How often are you hearing these?
PsychologicalDrone@reddit
Considering the vast majority of media on TV is American these days, some of these phrases are used in abundance. Really takes away from otherwise good programming.
AnUdderDay@reddit
Yeah but like, what shows, even American shows are parroting about the war and health insurance and freedom?
PsychologicalDrone@reddit
You’ve never heard an American rave about freedom? It’s literally in their national anthem. As for the other statements, those sorts of comments are littered all over the place in both fictional media and news reports.
27106_4life@reddit
Why? Do you find these people often in public? I don't.thoihh I fidn countless rude and xenophobic Brits like you
PsychologicalDrone@reddit
How does disliking ignorant and inaccurate statements make me xenophobic?
Simbooptendo@reddit
I wish I could speak German. I'm learning but it's bloody hard
Savings-Carpet-3682@reddit
World war 2 was mostly funded (both sides) by America. So war comments can fuck right off
jimicus@reddit
Sorry, BOTH sides?!
turkishhousefan@reddit
I just thank them for choosing to fund our healthcare rather than their own.
ScienceComfortable85@reddit
r/ShitAmericansSay
PsychologicalDrone@reddit
Yeah I follow that sub, but it simultaneously humours and enrages me
Infinite-Town9410@reddit
The phrase lfe hack. Also when people say Chefs Kiss instead of just doing the action, why did this change? Who made that decision?
AnUdderDay@reddit
This comment is 🤌🏻 💋
No-Body-4446@reddit
Especially when the 'hack' is literally a device or system that already exist.
GUYs. Trouble with wet clothes straight out of the washing manchine? Hang them up on one of these devices (Click link in my bio) called a WASHING LINE for dry clothes in a few hours!!! LIFE HACK!!!
Ze_Gremlin@reddit
clicks link
They're selling branded washing lines.. for 10x the price of a regular washing line.. but it's okay, cos it's merch
dbrown100103@reddit
I think the worst ones is when some wannabe tradesmen does some outrageously dangerous and convoluted process to make something and acts like they are a professional so people will attempt to recreate it and seriously injure themselves
Djinjja-Ninja@reddit
The worst one I ever saw was "life changing storage hack".
Shelves, in an alcove. Fucking shelves.
Pilchard123@reddit
What a happy thought indeed!
Shoddy-Computer2377@reddit
I remember my old house inexplicably had plenty of these that the previous owner had covered over sometime in the 1960s.
In around 2001 we finally took the plywood out. There were shelves already in there, just needed a good clean and some gloss painted on.
TheWelshMrsM@reddit
It’s deliberate to get people annoyed enough to comment and boost engagement.
Infinite-Town9410@reddit
Yes, it drives me mad 😂
Uhura-hoop@reddit
I mean, it works better over text than performing a gesture at your phone 🤷🏻♀️
Infinite-Town9410@reddit
I have never felt the need to type the phrase 'Chefs Kiss' in a text to somebody (apart from now of course 😂) I just find it very cringe.
Apparently the emoji for this is 😘👌
Mundane_Pea4296@reddit
I do 😘🤌
dbrown100103@reddit
😗👌
oktimeforplanz@reddit
I just use a gif.
Uhura-hoop@reddit
Well I have, I suppose that’s where me and the cool kids differ. Blush face. Oops, there’s another one…
I_ALWAYS_UPVOTE_CATS@reddit
I saw one the other day about a mum who saved money on food when taking her kids to a theme park. The 'hack' was that she took a picnic rather than buying food on-site. Utter brainrot.
Electrical-Leave4787@reddit
That’s actually a pretty smart idea, come to think of it. Did they eat the food back at home or there? NM, I see ‘picnic’, so they probably ate it there.
Justboy__@reddit
It sounds like you need to watch the video
ProperGanderz@reddit
Revert back. At the end of emails. It’s an incorrect use of the word, doesn’t actually make sense and I think anyone who uses it must be a cunt
Electronic-Spend-391@reddit
These threads. Seems to be a new one on the same topic each week.
Bore_369@reddit
When people say "ying and yang" it's YIN and yang!!!
Funkychuckerwaster@reddit
I’m obsessed with this (product)
Mumstheword76@reddit
It is what it is 🤷
TululaDaydream@reddit
Aww I say this all the time 😭
AcceptableCustomer89@reddit
Say what you like, don't let some miserable cunt on reddit dictate what you can and can't say
hamshanker69@reddit
Change it to "it's what it's".
Ze_Gremlin@reddit
It ain't what it ain't
hamshanker69@reddit
I like that. Yours is longer than mine and more of a mouthful.
Ze_Gremlin@reddit
Thanks for the compliment.
I don't want to seem cocky, so I'll just say it's of about average length.
Yours looks much nicer than mine though
MarrV@reddit
Ce sera, sera any better?
vc2162024@reddit
This one drives me up the wall!
OldHelicopter256@reddit
EVERYTHING IS WHAT IT IS
tigbird007@reddit
“It is what it is” Annoying as fuck.
cbawiththismalarky@reddit
I wonder what you think the seller can actually do in your situation?
Hungry-Falcon3005@reddit
I bet if they got a refund, they wouldn’t return the item when it actually arrives a little bit late
cbawiththismalarky@reddit
My thoughts exactly
MisterWednesday6@reddit (OP)
Either refund me or arrange a replacement. It's a Christmas present, i'm not prepared to wait indefinitely.
yinyandragon@reddit
"going forward" if I hear one more person In charge use this phrase arrrrggghhhh
Sea_Pangolin3840@reddit
When people put up a photo of themselves out with their partner and kids and put "me out with my faves "
Barmcake@reddit
Being "gifted" something. No you weren't, it was given to you.
Ok_Equipment7286@reddit
Living your best life!
MajorMovieBuff85@reddit
We are not American. Black Friday means nothing
charlie_bell_@reddit
"How it looks like"
It's everywhere.
"Now more than ever" really winds me up too.
celtiquant@reddit
“Our United Kingdom”
Jingoism at its darkest. Epitome of English self-perceived, arrogantly forced, exeptionalism.
melijoray@reddit
'The new normal'
Life is not improving after the latest shitstorm, so shut up.
Ben_zyl@reddit
"Confirm abort" say the crappy voice recognition headsets at work every thirty seconds, they say other things and hear imaginary commands all the time. I've even sat in the breakroom eating lunch as they have imaginary conversations in a silent room with nobody and every day a half dozen putaway products have to be found from the non-existent locations they were quietly filed away in. Worst voice recognition at the highest price I've encountered since the 80's.
bigvernuk@reddit
Fucking “reach out” instead of contact. Such bollox.
ShellSeekers54@reddit
When someone dies, people say “fly high” they’re not flying anywhere!
JagoHazzard@reddit
“Woke.” It’s become meaningless. It’s just a way for right-wing media to say “You should be angry about this thing” without having to provide a legitimate reason.
picturesofhothollow@reddit
like that Morrissey quote about racism!
MORRISSEY: People accuse, yes, but they can’t penetrate or illuminate. The sole point of all of those NME slurs was to turn my audience against me. I recall one NME piece many years ago which addressed its readers with ”we just can’t turn you off him, can we ?”. That said it all. And as far as racism goes, the modern Loony Left seem to forget that Hitler was Left wing! But of course, we are all called racist now, and the word is actually meaningless. It’s just a way of changing the subject. When someone calls you racist, what they are saying is ”hmm, you actually have a point, and I don’t know how to answer it, so perhaps if I distract you by calling you a bigot we’ll both forget how enlightened your comment was.”
exitstrats@reddit
Daily Mail calling sandwich fillings woke a few weeks ago was, like, peak "just using the word woke to rile up our readers".
NeddTwo@reddit
For free. It's not 'for free', it's just 'free'. For fuck sake.
MrsKebabs@reddit
"you can't have your cake and eat it too" AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
Orsenfelt@reddit
That would make a great band name
Would it? When was the last time you listened to a new band just because of their name, Gary?
FighterJock412@reddit
My name's not Gary, but... Butthole Surfers
HankHonkaDonk@reddit
Butthole surfers are the greatest band to ever exist, I will fight anyone who disagrees with my objectively correct statement
puppet_life@reddit
SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN
Eayauapa@reddit
Excellent band, though.
LordTurner@reddit
Barenaked Ladies
I_ALWAYS_UPVOTE_CATS@reddit
Orsenfelt would be a pretty cool name for a metal band though.
--iCantThinkOFaName-@reddit
"It's beggars belief..."
jarviscockersspecs@reddit
Fully grown adults talking about something "giving them the ick" also saying "it's giving ___"
nightm4re_boy@reddit
aaaaa one of my colleagues in the sales team uses this term about her husband, can’t stand it. however, now my sixty year old colleague in my department had started using it to describe how some of our suppliers are shit, i kind of love it
EmeraldSunrise4000@reddit
No this is fantastic, I love when older people start taking on social media phrases unironically
vc2162024@reddit
Yes! Also people who use 'adult' as a verb as in - 'Adult' as a Verb | Merriam-Webster
Artistic_Chart7382@reddit
All social media speak is so annoying, especially from grown adults. It always gives me the impression that the person has no original thoughts or individuality.
tropicalhotdogdays@reddit
Carefully curated by Lovingly curated by Curated by Co-curated by
Savings-Ad9497@reddit
Side hustle
Nekyia1112@reddit
Side hustles are great! Everyone should have one for that extra money!
No, Doris on Payroll. You should fucking pay me more so that I don't need to work two jobs to survive.
When the hell did we shift from "nobody should have to have two jobs" to "everyone should side hustle, it's great!"
I don't - can't - understand how it changed
cragglerock93@reddit
Poor Doris didn't do this. She's basically an administrator and is in the same boat as you.
dbrown100103@reddit
These are so stupid because if you teach people how to do your side hustle the market ends up oversaturated and no one makes any money.
oktimeforplanz@reddit
Especially when the suggestion is to turn a hobby into a "side hustle". What an excellent way to make myself fucking hate my hobbies. For example, I crochet, I find it very relaxing. Part of that is because I have no deadlines. I make stuff for other people sometimes, but never on request - the first they hear about it when it's pretty much finished! I cannot imagine trying to sell my crochet work. Why would I ever ruin that for myself?
Savings-Ad9497@reddit
Tbh I do have a second job. It's purely through choice to boost my own income with the hopes that I can work less hard doing my main job as time goes by.
I just begrudge people calling it a side hustle because it's just a second job.
But social media algorithms won't push content labelled "check out this second job you can do whilst juggling your main job and your family and friends".
It's better to lure people into thinking they can make life changing money with minimal effort if they JUST WATCH THIS ONE VIDEO!
Nekyia1112@reddit
You're absolutely right, I also have a second job in graphics design because my customer services role doesn't pay shit.
It's not glamorous, it's damned hard work and I hate that it's reduced to "side hustle" when the reality is - yes, it's a hustle, but it's only a hustle because it's genuinely a necessity if you want to be able to treat yourself, or your partner/kids, whatever.
Social media has genuinely warped so many perspectives (and yes, I totally get the irony of this, I'm not bitching about social media, promise!)
Squire-1984@reddit
When people's side husties became training people how to do side hustles
Shoddy-Computer2377@reddit
The problem with side hustles:
Your main day job will require you to register it as a potential conflict of interest. Failure to do that is often gross misconduct, even though the side hustle itself would normally be fine
Your tax affairs become more fiddly
Side hustles cost money. Just because you're delivering pizzas doesn't mean that fuel, wear and tear etc. suddenly become free
Burnout and just being exhausted
azurexpuurple@reddit
"oh, the classic 'it's black friday' excuse. somehow it becomes an eternal loop, like the parcel's stuck in purgatory forever."
Meal-Entire@reddit
PLAYDATE!!!' Arrrgh. Sick bucket now!!,
Tony_Blair_MP@reddit
“The Global South”
Stop coping and call it the Third World.
saladinzero@reddit
Nah, Third World implies a degree of separation that can never be bridged, phrases like the Global South use better language.
Tony_Blair_MP@reddit
Okay, better to call them toilet countries or deprived countries then.
saladinzero@reddit
I don't really see how that follows, but sure if you want to?
Tony_Blair_MP@reddit
Global South is just a cope. Australian is more southern than Nigeria yet Nigeria is in the Global South but Australia isn’t, and that’s because it’s not about how south they are but rather it’s about whether they’re toilet countries or not.
saladinzero@reddit
I mean, it clearly isn't, but I have to be honest and say I'm not feeling like this is going to be that productive a conversation so I'm just going to leave it there. Have a good evening!
Tony_Blair_MP@reddit
Copers gonna cope
MidnightNinja9@reddit
Dude, you have a war criminal as your Reddit name and thr guy responsible for these wars
Also South Africa, Brasil, Indonesia, Singapore, Malaysia etc... are very well developed countries
Digidigdig@reddit
Americans on here adding “hard” before everything. Boils my piss. Its way more annoying that “this is the way” and gets a downvote every time I see it.
27106_4life@reddit
ooh you're hard
Cptnemouk@reddit
Hard facts ☝️😁
Ze_Gremlin@reddit
Pass me the hard cider..
Or.. just a regular cider for us..
frodotolstoyevsky@reddit
This is the way
Gblob27@reddit
Hard ass facts.
Maester_Magus@reddit
Everything good apparently 'goes hard'. It sounds fucking moronic.
Calm-Quarter-5655@reddit
He's playing clutch tennis.
According to Reddington.
Nearby-Percentage867@reddit
“Windows has encountered an error”
What? What’s the error?
Waffles_Revenge@reddit
I hate errors caused by the file being open in another program, when I don't know what program that is!
littlenymphy@reddit
So much of modern technology is like this. I guess they think everyone will just buy new if something stops working.
I work in a lab and got some new machines to replace older equipment and it’s honestly a nightmare.
The newer stuff might look more user friendly with its nice UI and one button does starts everything but the older stuff is way easier to fix because it tells you exactly what the error is and has suggestions for fixing it. The new stuff just says “device has encountered an issue, please contact your service provider”
Thankfully we pay for a service contract so all our engineer visits are free.
gloomfilter@reddit
I think in this case it's a bit more thought out. They realized that giving lots of detail to the user (i.e. the original blue screen dumps) wasn't helpful most of the time, so they stopped doing it.
dunbar91@reddit
Not a phrase but I hate it when I hear or read the word “y’all”, it absolutely makes my blood boil
mbridge2610@reddit
I could care less
buttersismantequilla@reddit
“Bang for your buck”. LOATHE that phrase
Kat8844@reddit
We’re currently experiencing high call volumes and apologise for the delay.
No you’re not you’ve probably cut jobs and are giving the poor remaining staff a higher workload or you’re paying such a poor wage for the job you can’t fill the positions to begin with.
Simbooptendo@reddit
"Life is short! Go for it!"
No it isn't; life is very long (when you're lonely)
Baboobalou@reddit
"Wild"
It used to mean something. Now it's used to describe something relatively bland.
90210fred@reddit
I got the impression that was the euphemism creep thing?
Mental replaced by crazy replaced by wild??
Baboobalou@reddit
I should clarify that I find when someone uses the word, what they're describing is anything but wild, crazy, unhinged. What they're describing is generally quite boring, eg, Arianna Grande's interview was wild.
CatKungFu@reddit
“Waxing lyrical”. Honestly, just fuck off.
Chromatic_Iteration@reddit
Not a phrase but any mundane and benign sentence that ends with "Bro". I get it can be used to show closeness or comradery but recently it's just replacing the full stop, comma and any exclamation 😂
GlennSWFC@reddit
“Overrated” or “underrated”
People throw them about willy nilly these days. Something doesn’t even have to be that highly or lowly rated, so they’ve become bywords for “I don’t/do like that thing”. Generally used by people who don’t have anything to say about the subject but want to make their opinion appear niche or cultured as though they’re sporting something everyone else is missing.
jagster1876@reddit
Guy in my work for bookings says 1,2,2,5 it's fucking 12:25 the time not 1,2,2,5
RedRumsGhost@reddit
Chillax - take a chill pill - has precisely the opposite effect of what was intended.
Infamous_Box3220@reddit
Consider yourself lucky. If you lived in the US that would mean you wouldn't see it until mid September.
PleasantMongoose5127@reddit
Triggered triggers me.
Scrombolo@reddit
'The rest as they say is history'
Also
'Lessons have been learned'
AdThat328@reddit
"We're dealing with a backlog due to Covid 19".
"Unexpected item in bagging area".
LetFelicityFly@reddit
‘I’m afraid there isn’t room in the budget for the pay rises we’d LIKE to give’
Bulky_Plum_9023@reddit
When someone uses the phrase ‘artisanal …(insert product)’ starting to really grind my gears
SadAnnah13@reddit
"No pain no gain", "cheer up, it might never happen" and my personal favourite, the one the mental health services always tell the Coroner when someone has killed themselves: "lessons have been learned". The amount of times I see that written in the local paper is absolutely ridiculous.
MisterWednesday6@reddit (OP)
Same thing gets said every time some poor defenceless child is battered senseless by a parent or the parent's partner. Social services always say lessons have been learned. And they NEVER HAVE.
SadAnnah13@reddit
Yep you're right. Social services and mental health services have a lot to answer for.
SuitableImposter@reddit
In these unprecedented times
MisterWednesday6@reddit (OP)
SCREAMS
CakeTripper@reddit
How about yourself?/and for yourself? Just say you! You sound so stupid using yourself when you is fine!!
I’m going on my holibobs
This is my truth
Fullmoon-Angua@reddit
Before they retired my other half would come home from work and the business they ran and tell me how many people had tried to impress in meetings with 'management phrases', not knowing he absolutely hates them.
His absolute favourites to hate were 'think outside the box' and 'I feel that that will bring more heat than light'.
Anyone that said those in meetings were destined for being side-lined.
My own personal hated one from meetings at my work are 'let's take that offline' when said by someone that just doesn't want the full explanation of why they've not achieved their objectives appearing in the meeting minutes or when you get a project manager desperate to get something 'taken out of scope' just because they've realised they can't get it done on time or budget.
dbrown100103@reddit
I could never work an office job. I got dragged off site into the yearly meeting a few months ago where they update us on what the company has achieved in the year. It was 3 hours of fucking waffle that could've been summarised on a single piece of paper. They had a Q&A with the director and upper management at the end and it was like watching a politician get interviewed. There were no clear answers just a bunch of gibberish for about 10 minutes each time they got asked a question. I gained nothing from being there apart from a £60 parking fine because they overrun by half an hour. I'm calling in sick next year
Fullmoon-Angua@reddit
Yeah, I remember in my own early days in an office environment and I'd been invited to a group-wide meeting with the directors Q&A session and it was one of these bullshit meetings where you got assigned a seat depending on your position. At that time I was newly promoted and sitting somewhere in the middle and someone from the back of me shouted out 'why are we paying Neville (the chairman) half a million pounds a year when the industry standard is about 300K?' and the answer from the meeting chair was 'well if we want the best, we have to pay the best', and in that instant my mouth moved faster than my sense of self preservation and I shouted back 'but we also want the best cleaners and receptionists don't we? so why are we paying them less than their industry average?' and *then* they started using excuses about that disparity. That went down about as well with my own boss as you'd expect because he said i'd embarrassed him - by not playing the fucking politics game that is expected if you want a key to the posh bathrooms in the office environment. I hate that sort of shit, but these days i'm better at picking my battles.
dbrown100103@reddit
I don't really interact with the whole corporate side of the company. I get told where to go by the contracts manager and that's it so I have no issue with what i say at that kind of meeting but I don't say anything cuz I just want to get out of there. No mandatory meeting should mean you go into overtime. The extra money ain't worth it
peterhala@reddit
"If you don't scream in the next 5 seconds, I'm going to dip your wedding tackle in this jar of starving lampreys."
MisterWednesday6@reddit (OP)
Well, I had not been expecting that one.
peterhala@reddit
Worst Tuesday of my life, that one.
DOAHJ@reddit
Onboarding. Its induction we are not a boat nor plane. Sadly I work in an area that deals with new recruits training it's a phrase I hear a lot and 18 months in I find it no less annoying
Zh3sh1re@reddit
"See it, Say it, Sorted"
Makes me scream every time.
MisterWednesday6@reddit (OP)
To this I will add "if you see anything suspicious, speak to a member of the on train team". You can never FIND them!
Zh3sh1re@reddit
Good point. Doubt I've ever seen a single "member of staff" ever except the trolley people.
MisterWednesday6@reddit (OP)
Especially when some drunken arsehole is harrassing the other passengers. You just know the on train team are all hiding down the other end of the train.
psypiral@reddit
"I was today years old when I..."
I immediately can't take you seriously.
Clear_Ad_4907@reddit
‘Unacceptable behaviour’. I’m not seeking your acceptance and I’m not 4 years old so don’t talk to me like you’re my primary school teacher.
WhatYouLeaveBehind@reddit
"welcome to Jet2Holidays"
Double-Emphasis7011@reddit
Reform UK
Kuldiin@reddit
"But we survived"
Shut the fuck up grandma.
thriftycheepskate@reddit
I had no idea that there were that many phrases that bothered me until I read this post. Now I'm super annoyed.
DattoDoggo@reddit
“Domino-hoo-hoo” fuck offfffff!!!!
Diddleymaz@reddit
Black Friday is incredibly irritating, we don’t have Thanksgiving Day so we don’t have Black Friday, except the retail sector have designated it. It would not be so bad but it is not just one day! It’s months 😡
lindsaydentonscat@reddit
I'm still seeing the boots black Friday ads on YouTube? Wtf😠
Captain_Kruch@reddit
If I hear a politician utter the words "22 billion pound black hole" as one of the excuses as to why the UK as a country is as fucked as it is, I'll explode.
lindsaydentonscat@reddit
Ok how about we change it to what if really is. 14 years of deliberately underfunding public services and then blaming immigration for everything....
Baarso@reddit
People saying “perfect” and “amazing” all the time, when what they’re referencing is neither.
Inevitable-Key3788@reddit
“It is what it is” gah no it’s not, it is what you bloody well do about “it”
morifo@reddit
All intensive purposes
Junior-Command3793@reddit
Any Labour M.P
"We inherited this"
Fun_Championship_642@reddit
Living in East Midlands UK but have noticed a lot of people in the midlands say “brought” instead of “bought”. Drives me crazy.
llynllydaw_999@reddit
"The importance of something cannot be underestimated". No this means that it's totally unimportant and you mean "overestimated ".
dbrown100103@reddit
Should not be underestimated makes sense though, people just use the wrong word. Can not implies it doesn't matter, should not means it should be overestimated
catmadwoman@reddit
100% instead of Yes or OK.
No worries instead of just plain Yes or OK.
It is what it is.
Mild but so annoying when the same person I know says these things incessantly in every single conversation.
randomreddituser1870@reddit
https://youtu.be/d_fiCr2wHY8
catmadwoman@reddit
🤣🤣🤣
rezonansmagnetyczny@reddit
"I've done my research"
No you haven't you bellend. You've watched 2 YouTube videos which affirmed your belief
Mundane_Pea4296@reddit
Not even YouTube videos... a TikTok
rezonansmagnetyczny@reddit
A tik tok they didn't pay attention to all the way through *
oktimeforplanz@reddit
and it's never, ever one of those YouTube videos that's a well researched video essay about the topic, with citations for sources and all that, made by a person with an academic background in the topic. Instead it's 2 YouTube videos that are just regurgitating what some other video said, near verbatim, and that video was regurgitating what yet another video said, which was just dramatically presenting rumours, theories, and random internet comments as facts.
rezonansmagnetyczny@reddit
I've spent a lot more time picking apart this sort of bullshit than I'd like to admit.
And even the "well researched" videos/ articles which actually cite credible peer reviewed research actually cherry pick sentences and phrases from the papers to fit their narrative.
The people who make that sort of content are just vultures praying on the poor bastards who can't critically evaluate what's infront of them.
kitjen@reddit
Ah the cry of the anti-vaxxer who failed science at school.
CrimsonArrowXIII@reddit
My favourite question to ask someone during covid when they said they were going to do their own research was what laboratory they were planning to use
rezonansmagnetyczny@reddit
It's what I do for a living.
Them people avoid me like the plague because they know I'll shut their bullshit down.
Same with anti vaxers.
People can do what they want, but come at me with some bullshit expecting me to go along with you and I'll prove you wrong.
free-the-imps@reddit
‘Need gone’
Need gone?
Must go Must go by Friday Needs to go…
… are not difficult to write.
Huditut@reddit
Even worse when it's "£50, needs gone otherwise going to the tip"
Why not offer it for free then if you're just going to throw it away?
cgknight1@reddit
It's more of a word - the random insertion of "technically" in posts here.
"so technically I was convicted of having sex with that farmyard animal"
"technixally I stole the money but..."
ddmageetheohgee@reddit
For me it's the liberal use of the word literally when the context isn't... literal.
amboandy@reddit
Those goats were like that when I found them!
Leading_Question5730@reddit
any overdone reddit joke/statement. vimes boot theory, 'everyone's packing round here', etc.
dbrown100103@reddit
I also choose this guys wife
gloomfilter@reddit
or threads that descend into people showing their wit by performing their own riffs off Monty Python's yorkshire men sketch...
Andr0idUser@reddit
"Food for thought" I work in sales 🤦🏼🤦🏼🤦🏼
nogganootch@reddit
Guy I work with starts every phone call he makes with "just a quick 'un" and every rant or complaint with "I'm not being funny".
I've worked with him for ten years and want to stab him every time I hear either of them.
Huditut@reddit
I tried to reach out to them... I reached out to them...
When did that replace I asked them?
Charlie11381@reddit
“Please mind the gap between the train and the platform”
crzycatldy91@reddit
"holibobs"
bravopapa99@reddit
People saying "aksed" instead of "asked" in US stuff, drives me fucking nuts.
Cum-Farts-Of-A-Clown@reddit
"Competitive Rates"
Aka competitively minimum
DeskBig9723@reddit
The company is not able to offer salary increases at the moment. "money is tight"
BackgroundGate3@reddit
I have less of a problem with Black Friday than with Black Friday Week, Black Friday Weekend, or, the latest, Black Friday Season!
SebastianHaff17@reddit
"It's a kick in the teeth"
The quote du jour in every article when someone is upset about something.
Android109@reddit
“If that makes sense?” Jesus Christ, can’t you think first about whether what you’re going to say is likely to make sense?
matbur81@reddit
People online commenting 'my guy...'
lisbethplus2@reddit
When people say why instead of while
Captainpinkeye3@reddit
“It’s giving insert some fucking gen z bullshit compliment”
Desperate-Calendar78@reddit
"The IT Service Desk is working at pace to resolve..."
BamberGasgroin@reddit
"Oh my sweet summer child!"
MelodicAd2213@reddit
Iconic - everything’s iconic these days. Tune in next week for an iconic cottage pie recipe, Xxx coffee chain reveals iconic new festive drink, Watch next week for the iconic final episode.
kitknit81@reddit
‘Could care less’ when they mean ‘couldn’t care less’. Drives me up the wall.
anotherangryperson@reddit
Pass away, passed, passed on when they mean died. And sorry for your loss when they neither know the person nor the dead person.
MisterWednesday6@reddit (OP)
A friend of mine once looked through some of my cemetery [hotography and was laughing at all the Victorian euphemisms for death - "fell asleep" was her favourite. She said she wanted her headstone to read "(name), carked it on (date)"...
anotherangryperson@reddit
Fell asleep is lovely, however with all euphemisms you have to be careful. Saying to a child your baby brother just fell asleep in his cot may be totally misunderstood. Personally I like the old ‘kicked the bucket’.
PinkNeom@reddit
“Touch grass”
First of all using it wrongly by using it just any time someone just disagrees with a comment online, as well as just using it so liberally it sounds cringe.
Quicksilver62@reddit
Makes me think of my dog bum-skiing when he needs his anal glands emptying!
BamberGasgroin@reddit
I believe that's actually called 'Tobogganing', which is brilliantly descriptive.
Quicksilver62@reddit
Makes me think of my dog bum-skiing when he needs his anal glands emptying.
HankHonkaDonk@reddit
Talk about a change of mood
chroniccomplexcase@reddit
Videos that say “POV…” that aren’t a point of view video.
F1nut92@reddit
When chronically single people are told "you'll find someone soon" when we really won't.
Shoddy-Computer2377@reddit
"Oh my days"
"Teamwork makes the dream work"
"Hot to trot"
Critical_Bear_3950@reddit
When people say “can I get” in a cafe/bar/pub instead of “can I have” or “may I have”. Are you going to go round the counter and get it yourself? No you’re not.
MelodicAd2213@reddit
I’d love serving staff to reply, yeh, the Gaggia’s over there and you’ll find the bread on the side, ham and cheese are in fridge, you’re welcome
StrawberryF5@reddit
I don't like it when people use the word muppet as an insult.
cognitiveglitch@reddit
Holibobs.
Wooden-Bookkeeper473@reddit
"Too cold to snow"
culturerush@reddit
I work in a GP surgery
"I have a cough so I need antibiotics"
Antibiotics don't fix a cough, they fix a cough if it's caused by bacteria and you have a pneumonia but if you have any of the viral infections doing the rounds at the moment they won't help because antibiotics don't work on viruses.
You may have been given them before and thought they worked but the average time for a viral infection to get better is 7 days and an antibiotic course is 7 days so there's likely an element of confirmation bias.
Also colds don't "go onto chests". Your talking about a secondary bacterial pneumonia. Coughing up some sputum after a viral infection is the normal process of your lungs clearing the infective debris, you don't need antibiotics.
Missing-Caffeine@reddit
The amount of times I had to explain this in the pharmacy..... Then they ask to speak to the pharmacist who just repeats what I just said 🤡
This and "drops for a sty".
FuckedupUnicorn@reddit
Yeah. Everyone knows goose shit cures styes
bacon_cake@reddit
The problem here is there are so many GPs who do issue antibiotics for coughs that there's become an expectation.
One of the doctors at my surgery is really strict and won't issue ABs for coughs or chest infections until you've been swabbed, but most of the others (and the ANP) will gladly do it over the phone. I know plenty of people who get ABs almost straight away when they call their doctor.
culturerush@reddit
Yeah I agree, it's hard to undo that expectation when some clinicians give them so easily.
Microbiology departments tear their hair out at this.
AndWhatBeard@reddit
Picky bits. It makes me irrationally angry.
DarthScabies@reddit
At the end of the day.... 🤬🤬🤬
MelodicAd2213@reddit
The sun goes down and night falls
Tesourinh0923@reddit
"X is cooking, let him cook" or some variant of that
Maximum15Charac@reddit
Local shopping centre has signs everywhere saying "The world is short staffed at the moment. Please be kind to those who showed up."
Fuck. Off.
michaelisnotginger@reddit
"Wow! It's almost as if..."
"DING! DING DING!"
[after a refutation of a commenter's point] "So you agree with me then"
IRL: a director I work for says 'Let's double-click on that' when he wants to understand something in more detail
MelodicAd2213@reddit
At least he’s not drilling down for the granularity
Squire-1984@reddit
Should see if you can get him to change it to "let's tap that" or another sexually charged phrase. Just for the lols
Max-Main@reddit
The use of the word “like” as a filler word. Watched a youtube video once and the person said “like” 123 times. It was a 20 minute video. Does my fucking nut in.
Firesequence@reddit
That "Ixxxxl has a right to defend itself"
Rowleybirkin11@reddit
"you do you" ☹️
kitjen@reddit
“Only 53 more sleeps until my holibobs!”
Knowledge3859@reddit
some variation of "I'm sooo looking forward to the John Lewis christmas advert this year"
the idea a department store's bathos ridden christmas advert, complete with breathy acoustic cover of a rock song, has weaselled its way into the annual christmas tradition in this country absolutely sickens me
you complain about the commercialisation of christmas and in the next breath get all giddy for the literal commercial trying to make you buy their shite
PoliticsNerd76@reddit
‘Bobbies on the Beat’ makes me want to end it all
dolphininfj@reddit
Not gonna lie
Outrageous-Garden-52@reddit
“It’s giving …”
Miasmata@reddit
Also those girls that start their bullshit reels (often advertising) with "😍 No, because tell me why (insert bullshit here).
AkihabaraWasteland@reddit
"Hate on"
resting_up@reddit
It is what it is
autobulb@reddit
The Costco support number for account issues doesn't even let you wait for someone to talk to. When you press a few numbers to get to the department you want, it instantly just plays a recording that all operators are busy and to please leave a message so they can call you back. I have left about 6 messages over the course of weeks because I have a Costco card but no warehouse near me so I would like to, ya know, actually use the membership I paid for and buy stuff online? But I can't make an account on the website because it tells me to call that number instead. I'm so tired of going through the motions to call them only to get that same stupid recording each time with no effect. Honestly feels like I'm getting scammed at this point.
b-roc@reddit
"A hundred percent"
EVERY fucker says this ALL the time now. About the most ridiculous, unlikely things.
Ok-Secret5233@reddit
"Does that make sense?"
I'm not even sure why it annoys me. I think it's because people use this even for the simplest dumbest things where it's totally unnecessary. If I didn't get the directions to the toilet it wasn't because it didn't "make sense". Maybe I got lost, maybe I misheard them, maybe you misspoke etc etc. Directions don't "make sense", they're just correct or incorrect or something in between.
DecorouslyDecorous@reddit
Gen Z slang (think Sigma)
Whatever crap appears on Error 500 and Error 404 pages
9/10 dentists recommend this
Jamiejamstagram@reddit
Incorrectly shoehorning the word “wanting” into a sentence so it becomes very poorly constructed.
“I’m wanting to” instead of “I want to”
“I’ve been wanting to” instead of “I’ve wanted to”
I recognise it’s not a phrase, but it’s using the wrong word to create stupid phrases.
People are becoming increasingly dense and it’s frustrating.
vc2162024@reddit
'I'm just saying it like it is...' - when used as an excuse to be offensive, or when adults use the phrase 'I did a thing...' unironically
sleepingjiva@reddit
"It is what it is"
D470921183@reddit
Where did you learn to fly
Sirlacker@reddit
I could care less.
Fuck off with this. If I hear someone say this phrase, I take an instant dislike to. You know that they don't ever stop and process what they're about to say because if they did they wouldn't be saying the phrase like that.
SharkSmiles1@reddit
Pivot
sdbillin@reddit
(Usually) Americans using ”drug" instead of dragged. Absolutely boils my piss.
SPST@reddit
"I'm sorry for the inconvenience this has caused you"
No you're not. Besides, I'm not looking for an apology. Quit with the bullshit and get to the fucking point?
External_Koala398@reddit
Bruh
__globalcitizen__@reddit
Teamwork makes the dream work
Beneficial-Metal-666@reddit
I do customer service for an online retailer and our call centre had like 10 extra people hired to help out because call/email volumes explode during Black Friday. Shipments normally get dispatched within 24 hours, but right now they're delayed by up to a week. Then the deliveries are also taking forever and it's not unique to one courier. It's all of them. Royal Mail, UPS, DPD, GLS, etc. The volume of parcels in circulation around this time of year basically quintuples so that is going to cause some serious delays. Woe betide you if your parcel is being shipped from mainland Europe as well, since it'll have to go through customs which adds even more of a delay.
You'd think they'd plan for it better though. I mean, it's not like Black Friday comes as a surprise anymore, it's been a thing for a while now. Our call centre is coping but only because our team literally doubled in size in anticipation of the busy period.
Susan_Denim@reddit
1/ "holibobs" 2/ "only....sleeps till"
Fuck off & grow up.
Background-End2272@reddit
Counting sleeps, no it's not counting my sleeps. Thanks. Stop asking me how many sleeps I have until X. I'm not 5
Significant_Answer_9@reddit
When people say someone is “cooked”
nick--2023@reddit
“X formerly known as Twitter”
NCmom1618@reddit
Make America great again.
Dedward5@reddit
Am I cooked.
This is beginning to piss me off. I wasn’t answer any question that has this as part of it eg “can this tyre be fixed or am I cooled”
CoachFriendly8579@reddit
"Tough decisions"
AccomplishedBid7067@reddit
I work in a hardware store, and people still think it’s funny to ask for ‘four candles’
MisterWednesday6@reddit (OP)
Oh god, seriously?
AccomplishedBid7067@reddit
Oh yeah, it’s mainly older people, as you’d expect. Some people think it’s the first time I’ve heard it too. I usually just grimace and ignore it.
CarinReyan@reddit
"Moving (or going) forward". It's the most utterly meaningless, overused, phrase out there and it adds absolutely nothing to any sentence it is included in.
Usual_Ladder_7113@reddit
It's the direction of travel
Feckoffcup1@reddit
Can someone get on the end of this. I get that FIFA is a game and has limited commentary, but I can't bear to hear this anymore. Reminds me of Jeremy Kyle "put something on the end of it".
CarelessAd7925@reddit
“Your stomach looks like this because you have high cortisol” or “cure you gut!”
gandyg@reddit
I fucking hate those adverts. No my stomach looks like this because I'm a fat bastard who eats too much chocolate and doesn't do enough exercise!
jdsuperman@reddit
"crossed the rainbow bridge"
Fucking grow up
LickClitsSuckNips@reddit
"What is price with discont for me?"
With a thick accent, any accent
Nebulousdbc@reddit
I know exactly which accent you mean, that subset of people are the same on fb marketplace
Also, love the username
LickClitsSuckNips@reddit
I have looked at these people and thought to myself, for what reason would you of all people be entitled to a discount?
Many thanks for the kind words my friend
Nebulousdbc@reddit
From what I gather haggling is their culture at marketplaces and whatnot in their country. Some of the low ball offers are ridiculous though
LickClitsSuckNips@reddit
I'm sure it is, I've visited these countries, and they have no price tags on their goods, but here in England, we do.
Nebulousdbc@reddit
Man I can't even imagine buying something without a price tag, I get fucked off when the digital screen for a product I want in Lidl has glitched out/showing wrong product/missing, god knows what I'd be like there
bacon_cake@reddit
When I worked in a department store there was a certain bus that came from a certain establishment every last Wednesday of the month (it was like a prearranged shopping day out) and the haggling they'd attempt was extraordinary. Most of the staff would try to hide away when their bus pulled up.
They'd constantly open packaging in store to "try out" the products and then ask for discounts, they'd come back every week with absolute mountains of stuff they clearly used before and try to return it (not just clothes, we had suitcases, pots and pans, cutlery, towels), they'd ask for 'best prices' and 'any discounts' on every single sale, they'd pick up every single thing they liked the look of as they were shopping and then get to the till and start picking and changing their mind and leave us with a pile of stuff to re-stock.
It was absolutely awful. They were so rude as well, they would ask technical questions about generic products that you would obviously have no idea about and insult you for not knowing the answer and they'd encourage their children to do the same.
Weak-Acanthisitta-18@reddit
From the get go
Soggy_Amoeba9334@reddit
Quick question
Delicious_Bet_6336@reddit
Pacific when it’s specific
Altruistic-Slip-6340@reddit
It is what it is
Peskycat42@reddit
My truth.
Just no, no NOOOOO.
Truth is a universal, not individual. What you mean is "my opinion". Calling it a truth doesn't give it any more validity.
Consistent_Sale_7541@reddit
New Year New You!! uuugghhh no
SpaTowner@reddit
‘Hear me out’ when used as an opener.
MisterWednesday6@reddit (OP)
That's an automatic cue for me to switch off if someone says that. Ugh.
SpaTowner@reddit
Isn’t it? I don’t mind if someone say, makes an improbable claim and then says ‘hear me out’ before they go on to justify it, but starting with it winds me up a little, makes me think ‘why’ why should I hear you out?’
Over_Solid_424@reddit
Unexpected item in the bagging area
tiorzol@reddit
Anyone that says or writes period at the end of sentence. Period.
Consistent_Sale_7541@reddit
or FACT. uugghh
BrieflyVerbose@reddit
You're on your period?
Sister_Ray_@reddit
Full stop.
Savings-Carpet-3682@reddit
I’m having a period. Period
chuill@reddit
END OF.
Gblob27@reddit
Offer them a tampon.
PeroniNinja84@reddit
'You should get therapy'
fruitcakefriday@reddit
“people in this country have had enough of experts”
Consistent_Sale_7541@reddit
“From the get go” is starting to to really annoy me. Seem to hear/read it so much lately
Sick-Spasmoid@reddit
It is what it is. Rollercoaster ride of emotions. Iconic
victory-or-death@reddit
Put in a formal complain online, it’ll go straight to the Managers desk at your local DO. If they’re too lazy to deliver it due to “inaccessible” reasons because they can’t afford any more staff that’s their problem. Plus, if something has had a “non-deliverable” scan two days in a row it doesn’t go back out until you request a redelivery or go in and get it
punky63@reddit
"Game changer"
Used quite a lot in instagram and tik tok videos to try and convince you that some shitty product/activity is going to change your life. Similar to "life hack."
I saw an Instagram post, described as a "game changer", that showed you how to reheat last night's Chinese takeaway. It involved heating the chips in an air fryer and reheating the chicken chow mein in a wok...you know, the thing that it was originally cooked in?
chuill@reddit
Hold space...I first encountered it a couple of years back in my last job and the people who used it were utter wanks.
Thought I'd heard the last of it when I left.
0xSnib@reddit
Boo!
EscapeArtist92@reddit
Black Friday is genius marketing to be honest. Still think Jan sales are much better and more geared for the British population
Confident_As_Hell@reddit
Ei härvätä or ei gonailla
Cool_Whole_7139@reddit
At least we have moved on from blaming EVERYTHING on covid , well almost
ThePineappleSeahorse@reddit
“What’s not to like?”
MunkeeseeMonkeydoo@reddit
When the train is cancelled the announcement now says "the train is cancelled due to a short notice timetable change". NO! There is a short notice timetable change because the train is cancelled.
ScallionOk6420@reddit
"I could care less."
Witty-Horse-3768@reddit
'go ahead' as a prefix to a sentence or statement that does not require it.
For example, 'I'm gonna go ahead and cut this wood in half', 'go ahead and stir the mixture',
It does my tits in. Americans on youtube are the worst culprits.
heywhatwait@reddit
“Gotten”. The usage of which can go fuck itself, as can the people who say it.
Leader_Bee@reddit
Text based, but people that "say" sth.
What?
Something.....I think
Huge-Promotion-7998@reddit
"Sorry this was stuck in my outbox"
Just say you forgot to send 😅
Poison_Regal31@reddit
Some people calling everything “underrated” or “criminally underrated”
Wacko_66@reddit
“I wanted to reach out to you…”
Fuck. Right. Off.
Silly-Canary-916@reddit
I literally will explode if one more person uses the word agai....boom!
SallyG77@reddit
Just seen in a comment on another sub "sheeple"
Annual-Owl4313@reddit
“Forever home” - just makes me cringe
I_ALWAYS_UPVOTE_CATS@reddit
'Something went wrong. Please try later.'
No. I won't have time later, that's why I'm doing it now. How about you fucking tell me what the fucking problem is and then at least make a single fucking attempt at finding a fucking solution.
UniqueEnigma121@reddit
Like
Smooth-Purchase1175@reddit
The list for me is too long to mention one single phrase or expression.
Sarge130@reddit
2025 will be my year!!!yeah fuck off!!!!
nadinecoylespassport@reddit
Every dead body on Everest was once a highly motivated individual
DreamingofBouncer@reddit
‘Listen wherever you get your podcasts’ when advertising another podcast during the podcast I’m listening too.
What way do they think I’m going to listen to podcast other than the platform I’m currently using to listen to podcasts
WhyWontYouHelpMe@reddit
I think it’s that some are exclusive to certain platforms, so they want to make it clear that the one being advertised is available everywhere. Eg it’s not a Spotify exclusive or whatever.
Throwaway91847817@reddit
Get out of here with your logic and reasoning! Im here to complain only!
ALCATryan@reddit
Yes, it’s like “buy at your local grocer’s”.
invincible-zebra@reddit
I listen on Spotify, so that’s wherever I get my podcasts. Others listen on Amazon or Apple, so that’s wherever they get their podcasts.
This is a non-issue.
Apidium@reddit
It's them saying the podcast is not a platform exclusive and the creates have bothered to put it on all of the usual platforms.
Comfortable-mouse05@reddit
Any corporate speak
Djinjja-Ninja@reddit
Lets put a pin in this one and circle back to it, I'll loop you in to do a deep dive on the needful.
asterallt@reddit
If anyone else tells me to ‘get my gifting on’ or I read ‘happy gifting season’ I’m going to rip my face off.
MidToeAmputation@reddit
‘You can only do what you can do’ from management and supervisors at work. Actually no, it’s a bullshit line which excuses organisation wide systemic failings in staffing.
goodmythicalmickey@reddit
"You can only do what you can do but you're not doing enough"
Secret-Specialist-50@reddit
I literally almost……
imokaytho@reddit
"can you come in early tomorrow"
Major_Bee4483@reddit
“Obligatory airport pint” whilst going on hol
“I’ve had worse Mondays” whilst on hol
“How are you 4?” (it’s been 4 years since birth clearly)
All posted on Facebook, all very dull 🥱
nellyjimbob1228@reddit
"at the end of the day". It goes dark at the end of the day!
Kaiisim@reddit
"I need this asap!"
Nope! You WANT it now, fucker!
Wide-Affect-1616@reddit
"We need a QBR with the key stakeholders."
(I fucking hate my job)
bobovdarlo@reddit
No...I'm tired
ahorsescollar@reddit
‘A game changer’
Original_Bad_3416@reddit
“What you doing for Christmas”
GrandAsOwt@reddit
“Your call is very important to us.” Thanks, but I note that it’s not so important that you’ll employ enough people to actually answer the phone.
summerofgeorge123@reddit
Politicians self-describing as “adults” or “adults in charge” or “adults in the room”
wouldilietouou@reddit
Ick.
knight-under-stars@reddit
"That concludes the official portion of our meeting" seems to be the current latest corporate buzzphrase as all the insufferable twats are using it.
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