Things I've Found Durring Room Inspections

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LeBneg@reddit

Yeah that's not what this sub is about.

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LeBneg@reddit

Food Porn, but Shitty, aka food that people genuinely believe is good looking but isn't.

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DeepSubmerge@reddit

I hope you left them their pie alone, that thing was almost done aging to the perfect ripeness!

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

It just needed a little whipped cream is all.

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Vark675@reddit

Room inspections in the Navy are annoying, but the amount of weird/gross shit they find makes it actually kind of important. Some people legitimately have to be taught now to not live like nurglings.

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Ok_Cauliflower5223@reddit

This is the military, it’s literally this dudes job. It’s also these people jobs to get their shit squared away

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

Navy.

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AssistantManagerMan@reddit

My brother was in the Navy. He was a nuke. When he was in A School, his roommate ate nothing but yogurt and catfood because they were the cheapest things he could find.

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MenstrualMilkshakes@reddit

Catfood? I mean you don't have to deliberately make yourself suffer to pinch pennies. Cum is alternative in the Navy if you're that hungry.

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Vark675@reddit

The guy was a nuke, solid chance he was a catboy.

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saddinosour@reddit

Cat food is wild behaviour 😭 surely there’s better ways to get your calories in. Probably cheaper ones too

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

I once walked out of my room and seen a guy in a banana suit run past me screaming bloody murder. Seconds later, to my surprise, a guy in a massive gorilla suit ran past. I went back in my room and chilled out, Halloween wasn't for me that year.

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Topherak907@reddit

Posting these pictures on social media shows how unprofessional and a bad NCO or officer you obviously are.

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

Less N my guy.

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giveop@reddit

Why are you mad?

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DeadInternet7@reddit

As a prior, I would have expected worse honestly

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I_DRINK_GENOCIDE_CUM@reddit

Ah yeah sure that makes sense

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Fancy_Art_6383@reddit

I was like wow dorm rooms sure have changed from my day! I guess this is adulting?

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Infinitblakhand@reddit

Came here to say it reminds of some barracks inspections I had to do back in the day.

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YoureSpecial@reddit

How do you get vodka ice cubes. I keep that shit in the freezer.

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sicklychicken253@reddit

Mix it with some water to lower the alcohol content it will freeze fine

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Visual-Floor-7839@reddit

Why not just use regular ice cubes and pour yourself a double?

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

beacuse you can't have alcohol in the barracks so you smuggle it in and hide it like that.

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Visual-Floor-7839@reddit

Ah. Not the brightest bunch, eh? Couldn't get a pack of water bottles and replace the water in a couple in the middle...

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Vark675@reddit

We snuck in a bunch of booze to make White Russians once. Then once we were good and drunk we panicked because the room belonged to someone underage and we didn't want them to get in trouble when they got back from leave, so we did the only responsible thing and threw what was left in a dumpster. Just kidding we started pounding *more* White Russians until we ran out of booze and *then* threw it in the dumpster. I ended up vomiting (cleanly, to my credit) then passed out. At some point while blacked out I acquired chicken (???) and made teriyaki in my contraband slow cooker. I was almost 30, there's just something about living in barracks that turns everyone stupid as shit.

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nick200117@reddit

How do you tell that they’re vodka ice cubes? I’m assuming the smell but I’ve never frozen vodka

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hogey989@reddit

Cranking the freezer. We had a broken freezer in university that got way too cold and froze liquor solid.

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Crunka19@reddit

Idk but I do know that Randy makes liquorcicles

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greenbastard1591@reddit

![gif](giphy|qEaZxVLkkMnK0|downsized)

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Eray41303@reddit

Is that a plate of Takis in the fridge? Psycho behavior

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Vark675@reddit

If these are barracks, I'd do that sometimes because it was the only place we were allowed to have any opened food and I didn't have room in my standing locker.

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TheSpiffyCarno@reddit

Ngl I do this with chips and stuff cause I have cats that will eat literally anything and the fridge is the only safe spot sometimes.

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ree_hi_hi_hi_hi@reddit

Don’t you have like…cupboards?

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Teamableezus@reddit

No I have catbinets. Seriously though I only have a few foot safe cabinets because my little shit head of a cat gets in them

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Illworms@reddit

Get those little magnetic baby proofing jimmies. I have a fatass orange cat and bad rotsky that tag teamed the entirety of the 3 bottom shelves of my pantry twice. Chicken broth everywhere……. They’re like $30 on Amazon but super easy to install and will save you having to rebuy groceries because your fluffy terrorists caught you slipping. https://a.co/d/9bavexV

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TheSpiffyCarno@reddit

My cats broke these. Plus I usually only do it for chips that can’t go in their bags and in the pantry. Like popcorn or chips that were poured out for a party

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Dead_things_doc@reddit

My cabinets have the spring loaded version of these and my cat has learned how to open them. 🥲 The only ones that work for me are those irritating plastic latch kind.

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Illworms@reddit

That impressive on your cats, it has deterred both my cat and dogs and any toddlers that come through. Suppose not every solution is a one size fits all

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gravelord-neeto@reddit

I use velcro tabs on some of the cabinets and the cats can't get into them. They were very cheap and they're surprisingly very strong, like strong enough to where I have to put a little strength into opening them.

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ree_hi_hi_hi_hi@reddit

OHH they literally get everywhere. I’m sorry that’s very frustrating. I think the other commenter has a good suggestion!

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Teamableezus@reddit

Oh no it’s not a huge deal we haven’t had an incident in a while. I do enjoy coming home to half the cabinets being open sometimes

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TheSpiffyCarno@reddit

That my cats can open yeah. Realistically I’m sure I could get containers and transfer them in but they knock those around too and I’m pretty lazy.

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ree_hi_hi_hi_hi@reddit

I’m very fortunate my cats don’t do those shenanigans. I also grew up with dogs and these are my first cats - belonged to my fiancée before we met. Never occurred to me they could go in the cabinets 😭

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TheSpiffyCarno@reddit

Yeah cats can do a lot when they’re very adamant! I blame myself tbh. My three boys didn’t do that but we got a kitten after my girl passed away a few years ago and immediately began working with him to use fluent pet buttons. He now talks instead of meows and has learned how to open drawers, cabinets, etc. Got a child lock for the cabinet their food is kept in and he watched me undo it enough that he would try and knock the magnet that undoes the latch over the cabinet. When that didn’t work he just brute forced it and broke the latch

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ree_hi_hi_hi_hi@reddit

Fluent pet buttons? Could you expand on your experience with that? What are those?

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TheSpiffyCarno@reddit

Yeah! Fluent pet is a company that makes buttons that allow your pet to communicate with words. You can record different words like “scratches” “play” “treat”, etc. and they come with mats to insert the words into. Cats and dogs use them pretty frequently and if you start your learner early and keep up with reinforcing it they can learn a lot! Just while typing this he asked for “TV, play” cause he likes watching bird videos haha

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DowntownEconomist255@reddit

Wow! You have very smart cats. Be safe😅

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TheSpiffyCarno@reddit

I try my best to appease my cat overlords lol

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ree_hi_hi_hi_hi@reddit

Ok, sorry, you’re blowing my mind right now. My fiancée is going to lose it. I’ll let you know how it goes when we inevitably have these in the house next week! Thanks :)

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TheSpiffyCarno@reddit

It’s really cool! There’s a sub r/PetsWithButtons that’s very informative for people just starting out with their learners

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ScroochDown@reddit

We have a cat like this too. Absolutely bullheaded and so determined that he's broken some child locks. We have the ones that just have adhesive and the clip part that pushes down, and there were a couple of doors that he repeatedly pulled on them so hard that the adhesive just came off and I had to put the locks in with screws instead. This cat also figured out how to get around a solid metal door stopper, and also figured out how to "walk" the childproofing sleeve stoppers off a pair of accordion doors by just pulling at the pivot point over and over until the sleeves shifted to the side enough that the door popped open. I love that cat but he is a genuine pain in the ass.

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ree_hi_hi_hi_hi@reddit

Smart menaces!

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diearzte2@reddit

I use the microwave. Cats won’t leave anything alone.

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Eray41303@reddit

Open on a plate to air out and get stale in 2 hours?

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TheSpiffyCarno@reddit

Usually in a bowl not a plate but also who cares if I’m the one eating them

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Marcobroa@reddit

Too hot,so they wanna cool it down

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dankhimself@reddit

I ate a bag of those yesterday. Tipping that last couple takis with the crumbs and seasoning at the end is always an experience. Love those things.

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whitecollarwelder@reddit

I had to take a Covid spit test for work a couple years ago to mail in. They needed tons of spit. I cracked open a bag of takis and took a whiff. Worked like a charm.

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j_gagnon@reddit

Here’s a tip; if your food is too hot, cool it down with some milk ![gif](giphy|l0Y3LLQBGY9pK)

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CupcakeViking@reddit

One of paper equals four of croin

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A7xWicked@reddit

Not as psycho as leaving a pie uneaten so long it molds

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redditsuckspokey1@reddit

I thought crab legs. Hard to tell really.

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RichardNyxn@reddit

I swear to all that is holy, put your hot chips in the freezer. For some weird reason, it tastes much better!

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MarsScully@reddit

The open plate is crazy but the fridge does keep stuff from getting stale for longer.

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Eray41303@reddit

Unless you don't have a frost free fridge, fridges specifically have fans to circulate air throughout the machine when the door is closed in order to aid defrosting

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Meretan94@reddit

My mom puts peanut puffs in the fridge so that they lose the crunch. She likes them mushy.

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Eray41303@reddit

:(

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BAMspek@reddit

My partner insists that Flamin Hot Cheetos are better cold. I think it’s just a fast track to making them taste stale.

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jacafeez@reddit

My friend likes his poofy Cheetos stale. He once opened a bag... And just ... Left them there. I asked if he was gonna have any and he said, no, these are for tomorrow.

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producerofconfusion@reddit

I do that for peeps.

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greenbastard1591@reddit

![gif](giphy|ukGm72ZLZvYfS)

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misterrodgerssweater@reddit

lol that’s like me with popcorn or Coca-Cola gummies. I loooove stale popcorn and hard gummies

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brisetta@reddit

![gif](giphy|l0MYrLAFex1R71l0A|downsized)

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buttplugpeddler@reddit

r/kidsarefuckingidiots

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TurboBruce@reddit

Frozen chips are amazing!

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hogey989@reddit

At first I was like "Why the fuck do you have to inspect someones room" then I kept swiping through. How do people live like this without being on drugs?

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

Hot take: Some people where never made to be responsible, and won't be made to. It's not just a, dirty room bad person thing, but there's alot of correlation that I don't like. Most people get told to stop being dirty and they do, but 1% or 2% just don't give a shit and will live in garbage.

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Low-Commercial-6260@reddit

Vodka doesn’t freeze

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hogey989@reddit

Sure it does. Just has to be colder than your average freezer

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

I know.

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SupermarketFit2158@reddit

i think taking pictures of other peoples shit while doing your job is really weird, regardless of how yucky it is

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Grunti_Appleseed2@reddit

Nope. I always took pictures of fucked up rooms because homie is going to get punished for it and I need evidence to justify why he's outside sweating. I've seen some crazy shit

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dirtyword@reddit

Dudes going to get pushed for putting leftover spaghetti in a bag?

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External_Tutor_1952@reddit

Maybe. The US military is insane

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Grunti_Appleseed2@reddit

It's called standards and the bar is already on the fucking floor. Just don't be a dirty bird. No woman is going to live with you if you're dirty

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Grunti_Appleseed2@reddit

I don't care about spaghetti in a bag, that's probably the most normal thing out of the things I've seen. What I punished dudes for was moldy fridges/freezers, open trash, one dude had diapers on the floor (??????), laundry thrown on the floor, and dishes piled up. What was in your fridge was whatever unless it was a health hazard

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HangryIntrovert@reddit

Ain't their shit; it's Uncle Sam's shit. Barracks life is why you get tech school marriages.

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25dollars@reddit

it’s just funny weird food and there is zero identifying features. who cares

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SupermarketFit2158@reddit

its the principle

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inateri@reddit

Totally

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redditsuckspokey1@reddit

Whats a silver spoon millionaire?

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

Spoiled beyond all comprehension.

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WoopzEh@reddit

Imagine being in a hotel and having to worry about this fucking creep coming in while you’re away and snapping photos of your shit.

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Fancy_Art_6383@reddit

...then they shouldn't join up. 😜

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WoopzEh@reddit

I did my time in Army and I’d still feel some type of way if dude was snapping photos while checking my shit. I know some drills that would take photos to show folks later. Posting them on Reddit? Naw.

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Fancy_Art_6383@reddit

Do you find it perverse or something. Our room checks had em sniffing sheets to make sure they got changed.

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WoopzEh@reddit

Y’all must have just really been afraid or something, if I know somebody smelling my sheets I’m asking why.

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Fancy_Art_6383@reddit

😂🤣😂 Oh man this had me rolling! Sometimes, but not that often. A few stinkers got caught hiding clean linens and then everyone caught some shit a couple times. When you come in at 18/19 sometimes mom and dad raised some little piggies that need to learn better ya know? When you know better you do better...sometimes.

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SanchoPanzaLaMancha1@reddit

He said it was the military so fair enough. They are all volunteers. They literally signed up for it

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WoopzEh@reddit

If I found my drill posting my shit on Reddit, he might as well smoke me everyday. Cause I’m bringing up all your comments.

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TimmyB02@reddit

I mean inspection, sure. But I don't think taking photos and shaming them on it behind their backs is a part of the deal. If it were for friendly banter it'd be pretty funny, but going to the internet to post stuff you found during the inspection..?

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Fancy_Art_6383@reddit

It's anonymous.

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TheSwedish-Fish@reddit

Such an underrated statement.

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Fancy_Art_6383@reddit

Some people's parents failed at helping instill their children with self discipline. The OP is doing god's work for Uncle Sam, as well as having a bit of anonymous fun and providing entertainment for the masses. 🫡

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

We always get the feeling that some people weren't ever made to be responsible and won't be made.

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Fancy_Art_6383@reddit

Very true. Some us out here cannot handle the pressure of responsibility for whatever reason or circumstance.

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LoveSeasVoyage@reddit

Was going to say this is super rude??? And weird of them

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Fancy_Art_6383@reddit

Clearly you've never been in the military where discipline is expected and following orders and protocol is the norm.

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LoveSeasVoyage@reddit

I'm an Air Force veteran was in for 7 years so this is completely inappropriate behavior. You don't take pictures of your subordinates rooms and post them for ridicule grounds for serious punishment, but go ahead and assume

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LoveSeasVoyage@reddit

Imagine serving under someone who doesn't respect you enough to come to you and help you deal with your issue and instead post photos like this for ridicule.

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Fancy_Art_6383@reddit

Have you asked OP what they did, other than file the proper reports? And they can ridicule all they want it doesn't seem to be hurting anyone other than you and your sensibilities as no names were named it's harmless fun. Not an invasion of privacy but probably against protocol. Are you gonna narc?

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LoveSeasVoyage@reddit

You really are missing my point. I don't have to ask what OP did, it's about posting this in the first place. And I'm not actually the only one who mentioned this, so you're wrong about that. This isn't even the right sub for a post like this. And it is an invasion of privacy...

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Grunti_Appleseed2@reddit

It's a weekly (it should be a daily) occurrence in the military. This is extremely tame

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Mysterious_Ear_9114@reddit

“What’s your spaghetti policy here”

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ProfessionalNorth431@reddit

Coffee and pie, oh my!

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cazub@reddit

Cici's sent me a promo bag, literally a paper bag, that I could take to any cicis restaurant and fill it up with sloppy ass spaghetti. It wasn't even wax lined

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LoveSeasVoyage@reddit

Deeply mean people take pictures of other people's living spaces and post them online. Anonymous or not? I think this is weird behavior. Also not really posting it in the right sub either

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Topherak907@reddit

He's an unprofessional and bad NCO or officer.

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GentrifriesGuy@reddit

OP is a ![gif](giphy|p4yyZS2G7tlA2tr5X0)

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Uthallan@reddit

If my landlord or RA was snooping and photographing my private space for public content…

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Delicious-Summer5071@reddit

This is the Navy, and is part of barracks inspection. It's literally dudes job to snoop in rooms.

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Topherak907@reddit

And to post the pics on social media? Hell no, this guy is seriously unprofessional.

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Uthallan@reddit

ewww wtf

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LoveSeasVoyage@reddit

I keep getting down voted for calling it out. Also WRONG DAMN SUB LIKE WTF

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GentrifriesGuy@reddit

![gif](giphy|Kl9iAWej2mxlzvzp2O)

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Robdul@reddit

I want you to know this is the post that made me mute this sub.

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Ok-Nefariousness8033@reddit

Nutrition should be a mandatory class in High School. This is just sad.

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I_DRINK_GENOCIDE_CUM@reddit

* Lmao the first pic Also ima need more details on that one guy who made the room burn your lungs

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I_DRINK_GENOCIDE_CUM@reddit

![gif](giphy|RURAojdRlmGvm)

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

Oh, he's gone now. But imagine breathing in acrid fumes. He had THREE roommates trying to help him and tolerating him for a good bit, but they cracked and that's when I found out.

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I_DRINK_GENOCIDE_CUM@reddit

That's good, but mostly I'm curious about how one man can produce that much stink. Like what else did you find in there? Or was it that he just never showered? Did he have some kind of endocrine disorder? When I was young, during summer vacation, I'd transition to a ~28-32 hour sleep cycle. It's just natural for me since I've got a weird circadian rhythm. Needless to say, during those times i barely saw anyone, since i was routinely waking up at 10pm, 12am, or 2am. Or whenever. And i was young and dumb so I just didn't shower for pretty serious periods of time. But I never fucking stank so bad that my mom got her lungs burned. She would have told me too, and she even did say a few times "dude you smell like shit go shower" and I was like "okie dokie", and went and cleaned up. But it was just gross not fuckin caustic. So how the hell does it get to that point? Was he pissing himself and just letting it dry out so the urea got concentrated? I'm so confused lmao.

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GentrifriesGuy@reddit

You’re a narc. ![gif](giphy|8DIIVCJrgdwjjNojGe|downsized)

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

What are you even talking about?

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FreddyNoodles@reddit

I thought I was on the Kitchen Confidential sub and was soo confused. Is this a college? Why do you do room inspections? I guess I am still so confused.

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

Navy Barracks Inspection. There's some pretty foul shit. You'd be surprised by how many people piss and shit all over their toilets, how many will live in trash if you don't make them.

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FreddyNoodles@reddit

Well, goddamn. My dad was/is a Marine (you know the saying) and he would lose his mind over anything like this. We had to bounce a quarter off our bed before he was satisfied. No dishrack, one kid wash, one kid dry. The sink better sparkle too. Curtains AND lampshades had to be vacuumed or steamed every werk and ever rug had to be taken outside and beaten…we were, if not. JK but only kinda. I am surprised Navy recruits live like this. Do they usually shape up before they ship out? (ha) It was a pain in the ass to live by my dad’s extreme rules as a kid but my and my brother’s (I have 4 older) homes are always insanely clean now. We had it drilled (ha ha) into us from a VERY young age.

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GentrifriesGuy@reddit

The plot twist is OP breaks into college kids rooms to show food crimes while committing crimes for upvotes ![gif](giphy|l2YSgdn0tmvotdOFy)

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FreddyNoodles@reddit

Why is that burgler dressed all in black in the middle of the day? This putfit is going to make him very noticable and suspicious. Is he a dumb burgler?

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GentrifriesGuy@reddit

Ask OP. ![gif](giphy|3ohhwuzTxy3eQK10Yw)

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GentrifriesGuy@reddit

![gif](giphy|emBS4AYapaN4XrNCAa)

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NickMalo@reddit

You respond with a lot of gifs on multiple posts ![gif](giphy|8DIIVCJrgdwjjNojGe|downsized)

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GentrifriesGuy@reddit

![gif](giphy|JrBeTQUv5DO3ueRFmu)

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NickMalo@reddit

You act like a ![gif](giphy|tczJoRU7XwBS8)

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GentrifriesGuy@reddit

![gif](giphy|owxyOxBbYd5C0|downsized)

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bittypineapplekitty@reddit

r/eatityoufuckincoward . lol no but in all seriousness WTF 😭

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Inside-Ease-9199@reddit

Our RA’s weren’t allowed to search fridges or anything that closed. Weird seeing this

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

Not a RA.

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Inside-Ease-9199@reddit

Much happier to hear this lol

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LoveSeasVoyage@reddit

It's not cool.

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RivenSoloOnly@reddit

That looks like the fort bliss barracks

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Fixx95@reddit

I'm glad I didn't go live in these god forsaken, disgusting, dorms with some extra disgusting human that literally lived like that with mommy and daddy

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

If you think these are bad or weird, it's way worse.

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Fixx95@reddit

Trust you me....I believe you 1 million percent.

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RoughBenefit9325@reddit

I really thought i was on r/badroomates. May fit better there.

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

ope.

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LiquidSnape@reddit

i think you want /r/fridgedetective or something man

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

Ope.

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GentrifriesGuy@reddit

He really is a narc

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Tacoburrito96@reddit

What's your spaghetti policy?

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

Well, there's no two prong stuff allowed in, so no making it. However, if you bring it back cool. But like, why bag it? My girl does this all the time. (if you're reading this, hiiiiii)

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I_DRINK_GENOCIDE_CUM@reddit

![gif](giphy|RURAojdRlmGvm)

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greenbastard1591@reddit

![gif](giphy|hLdsj6AgRmxk4|downsized)

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coolkatsandkittens08@reddit

My first thought! 🤣

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Double-Hall-3855@reddit

Piss

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

Everywhere. Living like that.

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MarsScully@reddit

Number five???? I have questions but I’m afraid of the answers

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

He got separated for medical reasons shortly after. The whole situation surrounding him was bad and sad.

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nograpefruits97@reddit

Are we talking about military room inspections? From your caption it sounds like they need mental health support dude… not sure this is really funny

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

Navy. One guy ended up getting kicked out for medical reasons for being too dirty. (he's the one that made people sick, bad sick)

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alienshape@reddit

Stay outta my room.

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matt_lcb@reddit

Typical college dorm behavior, my roommates in first year forgot a plate of food in the fridge and no one knew who it belonged to. Whatever it was before turned a bright pink colour- my roommates practically treated it like it was hazardous material with full clinical gloves and a face mask to despose of it lol

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Fancy_Art_6383@reddit

And yet this is the military...crazy right?

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matt_lcb@reddit

Wow that’s nuts

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Fancy_Art_6383@reddit

I had a co-worker empty out all the old food and containers from our 2 work fridges of three shifts and proceed to open them to take pictures of all the multi colored mold. I had to remind her to hurry up with her pictures she was taking for the bosses because inhaling and spreading mold was bad. And this person worked in healthcare. I immediately bagged it up and took it outside after I masked up and her last picture was done as I allergic to a lot of mold.

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UnHumano@reddit

My guy, you need some sort of memory.

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Nougatschnitte6@reddit

Holy shit. Also, I never knew room inspections where a thing. Are you doing them in college dorms?

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soggydave2113@reddit

Are you lost?

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soicz@reddit

Military dorms

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BodegaBum-@reddit

Most likely military barrack inspections

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eri_is_a_throwaway@reddit

How do you find out that the ice cubes are vodka? Don't tell me you lick them

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Portal_to_the_Dream@reddit (OP)

Alcohol shouldn't be freezing in a normal fridge. See a non-frozen ice cube? Probs booze.

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cookiedanslesac@reddit

There are other means to take vodka in. ![gif](giphy|J13WdLlLuDNiIf1MNd|downsized)

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tailbonebruiser707@reddit

You’re taking pics of peoples personal lives just to make fun of them on the internet. Good job buddy

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Jonnyyrage@reddit

Or raising awareness in the fact some people are legitimately slobs. Some people have zero understanding of cleanliness. Seems like room inspector is their job and for good reason too. How would you feel having a tenant that lives in literally unhealthy conditions. So bad so it makes others sick. But oh no dont hurt their feelings. Lmao.

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