be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/4chan

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: anon landed a job as a bodyguard

gay: he clearly stated he keeps eye contact with other dudes while jacking it

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough