I have reached a new level of middle age
Posted by burnedimage@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 53 comments
I got a letter from my mother today.... FILLED WITH OBITUARIES SHE'S BEEN COLLECTING! They had little notes on them. I didn't know any of these people. But apparently one was the cousin of a neighbor we had in 1984. I have no idea. But I'm really glad she still writes me at all, truthfully! And I love the random calls from her asking bullshit like "what is a 12 letter word for unhappy?" Disenchanted, mom. "Did you go to mass today?" Nope. Not really feeling the church right now. "Just wear earbuds during the sermon." Great. "Tell your husband he's my favorite son-in-law but that can change."
SouthOfOz@reddit
My mom gets a newsletter from someone in her high school graduating class. I don't know what's in it, birthdays and activities, probably. But there are also deaths listed. But when mom reads the deaths she pulls out her yearbook and crosses out the person's picture with a sharpie.
Axolotis@reddit
She plays that long revenge game
Non-Intelligent_Tea@reddit
Isn't this how an episode of Colombo, or Murder She Wrote starts?
Dum dum dummmmm!
rocksandtrees67@reddit
I love this . I can’t stop laughing
JustYourAvgHumanoid@reddit
I'm dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
burnedimage@reddit (OP)
Did they cross out your picture?!
JustYourAvgHumanoid@reddit
I hope no one remembers me 😆
MaximumJones@reddit
Be glad you still have your mom. Enjoy every minute. 🙂
burnedimage@reddit (OP)
My mom is a riot. I didn't appreciate her growing up. Now I savor every second of her antics
GrayMouser12@reddit
Awww, I love "Just wear earbuds." I appreciate your Mom, too. I'm appreciating how my parents are aging as well
burnedimage@reddit (OP)
She stands with me on politics. So we have to reconcile a conservative church and left leaning morals. Earbuds sound good for the next 4ish years.
GrayMouser12@reddit
I hear ya! My parents are sorta in that bind right now. Dad is struggling more than Mom, though the Church is trying not to be political, but you know how it is. They live in a small town. We're sorta out of it currently, but we're in a city that we could find a comfortable environment. Feel ya on the situation. Sounds like your Mom's like my parents.
kckitty71@reddit
My mother turned 80 this year. She still acts the same, but she just looks…smaller. She’s slower. She’s my best friend and I’m terrified to lose her.
MsNomered@reddit
Mine will be 88 in January and I’m living with her now. I lost my son (23) last year and my mom has been getting me to exercise and eat properly. She was diagnosed with kidney cancer last January, had it removed and now she’s cancer-free! We’ve been helping each other and she has learned to accept being cared for. I’m so grateful for her. Hugs to you.
reddit_toast_bot@reddit
🌹🌹🌹 What was his name?
So sorry 💝💝💝
MsNomered@reddit
Aww thank you. Liam is his name and I miss him and his big hugs so much. Mental illness and Fentanyl gave us no chance. My mom lost her first two (my oldest siblings to motorcycle accident and suicide) but she stuffed her feelings. Also, she was sent away to Indian Residential School when she was 4, so she and I have had to learn coping skills on our own. I’m proud of her. Thank you for asking❤️
burnedimage@reddit (OP)
My heart to you! As a mother, social worker, and person who's only son lives with mental health concerns. ❤️
MsNomered@reddit
Thank you, hugs to you. It’s so painful to see them suffer and struggle, I’m so sorry💔 Take good care of you.
burnedimage@reddit (OP)
Take care of yourself as well. The road is long sometimes. And we don't always have a map!
parscott@reddit
Almost lost my Liam (25) to Fentanyl at 19. Those years were hard . I couldn't stand him for about 3yrs but it's much much better now. He grew up and I mellowed. He visits me when he wants and I dont pester him . I miss him thinking about it.
MsNomered@reddit
Oh I’m so happy to hear your Liam survived. It was such a rough go so I hear you, I’m so tired. A few months before he died he was attacked (by people I kicked out of the apartment I rented for him) and stabbed 4x and there’s so much more I’m still processing. Hugs to you and your Liam ❤️
heffel77@reddit
Yeah, when I see her I see a tiny little woman now that kind of reminds me of my grandmother who has watched too much News Nation and is aggravated all the time. I wish she acted the same as I remember when I was growing up. The woman who taught me not to be sexist or racist or hateful towards anyone different than me. It’s upsetting and not how I wanted the last years to go.
Adept_Confusion7125@reddit
You made me laugh out loud. Thanks for that, as my mom reads me the obits over the phone. When I ask her why she has a preoccupation with death, and her response is that I'll understand when I am closer to death. I'm 57...shit, anything can happen, so no, mom, I don't worry about it or keep track of others' demise. BTW I am only middle age if I live to 114. LOL
Flashy_Watercress398@reddit
I read the local obituaries every morning on the hyper-local news site, because maybe I need to bake a casserole, or maybe I'll want to bake a cake.
Mom frequently calls to tell me about the deaths of people I have zero connection to (like people from our hometown, where I haven't lived in 44 years. I know about a dozen people there.)
I just let her burble on about Great Aunt Dorothy's daughter's husband's Mama's passing. I don't give a crap, but it makes my mother happy to think that I do. And when I've had enough, it's "sorry Ma, gotta get ready for [PTO meeting, band boosters, pick up one of the grandchildren from wherever, insert an excuse that isn't always a lie.] I'll call you later, love you, bye."
burnedimage@reddit (OP)
We have a saying in our family. Why pray when you can bring lasagna! It's a massive sweeping metaphor for actually doing something productive in the middle of someone else's crisis. So kudos to you for making casserole or a cake!
Flashy_Watercress398@reddit
The cake is if I'm celebrating!
But yeah, I'm from the US south. You take something to a house in mourning. I like your family's saying a lot.
(Lately, instead of a casserole, I usually bring a bagful of home supplies like paper towels and foil and disposable plates and such. But the sentiment is the same, which is to do something practical for the family.)
burnedimage@reddit (OP)
Hell yes! I bring the casserole, paper plates, plastic cups and utensils. Tea. Ice tea. Southern as well!
lazyMarthaStewart@reddit
Ohmygosh, she sounds so much like my mom! ♡
lazyMarthaStewart@reddit
Her phone calls are the minutiae of her day "I went downstairs and turned on the computer, I was drying your dad's laundry, we had soup for lunch..." ♡♡
burnedimage@reddit (OP)
I appreciate them with all my evil genx heart!
"Your sister has a rash. I think it's poison ivy."
Insert a long story about the very complicated relationships within her feral cat colony.
lazyMarthaStewart@reddit
You have made me chuckle!
burnedimage@reddit (OP)
Murder Mittens is fueding again with "that nice possum family. Remember? Earl and Bertha? I told you that they moved into the cat apartment?" Totally forgot that you turned the garage apartment into a cat apartment. "Anyways.... Earl is definitely cheating on Bertha." Mom I swear to God I'm going to get you a Roku TV and let you use all of my streaming services for free just so that you have a different soap opera.
lazyMarthaStewart@reddit
Omg, I love your mom. Anyway, has Bertha figured it out yet??
burnedimage@reddit (OP)
I think she's working through her feelings. My husband, to my mother refers to as such a nice boy, even though he has gout and wears velcro New balance shoes, makes her cookies all the time. And he mails them to my mother unbeknownst to me. So she has been giving some of the cookies to Bertha. And so Bertha's eating her way through her feelings like so many of us do.
burnedimage@reddit (OP)
But in all seriousness, these cookies are ridiculous. He calls them compost cookies or trash cookies. And basically what he does is like whatever is left in cereal bags, Cheetos, voodoo chips, or whatever else he turns into a crunchy delicious masterpiece cookie. And sometimes you get like a really sweet spicy cookie. His passion is baking. I know that some people have real problems in their marriage but my husband bakes. Any bakes a lot.
lazyMarthaStewart@reddit
Oh, and my mom gets the newspaper on her tablet now (still subscribed to the local paper), and she will print articles to send to me!
burnedimage@reddit (OP)
My mom was devastated when the local tiny town newspaper went down to two days a week!
windowschick@reddit
As much as that would drive me nuts, I miss my mom terribly and would love to hear her voice just one more time. I completely lost my shit when my phone auto deleted the last voicemail she ever left me.
Digitalispurpurea2@reddit
This cracked me up and reminds me of my mom, although she texts me the random thoughts. She saves the deep dives and some of the most absurd questions for our biweekly conversations. Nobody expects the Momquisition!
sysaphiswaits@reddit
My daughters are teens. I hope we get to this place.
Tiny-Leadership-9725@reddit
My grandma clipped and saved the story of a man who was murdered. When I was a kid he was our neighbor, an older kid who bullied us younger kids. Love and miss you, grandma
sysaphiswaits@reddit
That sounds legit creepy.
sysaphiswaits@reddit
“Not really feeling the church right now.” Really makes me laugh. My dad had to move my mom into around the clock care today. I’m glad I have silly memories of her, too.
Expat111@reddit
My mother calls because she needs help with her remote controls, iPhone, WiFi router, Mac or connecting Pandora to her Honda CRV via Bluetooth. It’s weekly. I’ve been the CFO of a couple of tech companies but I’m not a IT help desk.
I wish she’d just send me obituaries instead. It’d be more enjoyable than explaining how to connect a “broken” iPhone to a “broken” CRV for the 70th time.
Safe-Comfort-29@reddit
Mine is android auto to a Subaru Ascent. Or fils apple to Subaru Ascent.
They can't figure out why they can't use both...
burnedimage@reddit (OP)
Don't worry! My mother regularly asks why she's not in the group text with myself and my sisters. FOR THE 1,000TH TIME..... (deep breath).... You have a ROTARY PHONE!
SpinningSock@reddit
I wish I could feel the same joy so many comments are showing towards their mother. I want to feel it, and at times I do, but it is usually a mix of frustration and immense amounts of patience. I love her, but I often wonder if the people in her inner circle feel the same amount of pettiness and condescending attitude as I do.
burnedimage@reddit (OP)
It took me years. I was NC with her for over a decade. Zero contact. It took a looney family crisis involving what I'm certain sounds like a made-up story. We didn't have a choice but to talk to each other. And talk to each other several times a day for 2 years. And in that time we found peace.
Simple-Law3631@reddit
My mother was diagnosed with dementia this year. Slowly losing her is the hardest thing I've had to live through.
MyriVerse2@reddit
My mom told me to stop telling her about every Boomer and Silent celeb that dies.
Comfortable_Ad7922@reddit
God bless you guys! I miss my mom-
RattledMind@reddit
My mom passed about four years ago, but she’d call with random shit too, and to be fair, I did it to her.
I once called her and asked her to look in her dog’s nose to see if she could see any boogers because I looked at mine and he didn’t have any. Without a beat, she called her dog over and said “Nope, no boogers here either.”
My wife tolerates my shenanigans, but not in the same way. My kids will though, they’re Gen Alpha and still young, I hope it doesn’t change when they get older.
I miss my mom, though.
tharesabeveragehere@reddit
Given the choice between being the audience or the subject of these obituaries, I’d happily choose audience.