Am I creeping people out?
Posted by Red_Dwarf_42@reddit | AskBalkans | View on Reddit | 9 comments
I work in a neighborhood that is predominantly Balkan immigrants, so I get really excited when I can speak to a customer about their country or use any of the language that I’ve been learning.
Both men and women are initially pretty stunned; women will be nice and ask me questions, whereas men will usually give a 🤨 then say something like “oh okay” or “huh” before leaving.
Nobody’s said anything negative, and I see the same people over and over, but I don’t know if I’m coming off as a weirdo! I just want to connect with people who are from the countries that I love so much.
sjedinjenoStanje@reddit
Some people are just freaked out by "deeper" interactions with strangers. I'd read the room and use a light touch with those reluctant to engage, and save your energy and enthusiasm for those who are interested in returning it.
poopgranata42069@reddit
Touch them lightly. Noted. 😄
Smile_in_the_mirror@reddit
Just offer some Rakija and you will befriend them all
Red_Dwarf_42@reddit (OP)
I would give my left lung and a kidney for someone to teach me how to make it!
fituica@reddit
You might be too overly friendly and come off as fake to them because of it, I'm sure if you tone the excitement down a little bit the interactions will be better.
ilovemangos3@reddit
this was a kind of culture shock when starting to interact with people from eastern europe and balkans, I swear they thought I was pranking them or something
AshenriseOfficial@reddit
You have to know a thing about Balkaners and Eastern Europeans: our backgrounds of survival (due to countless reasons) have us in a semi-permanent "fight or flight" mode from a psychological standpoint. That means we're always with the guard up in one way or another, expecting people to betray as a general default (it's sad, I know).
Try to learn a few words/phrases in their native language, whichever they are. Language is an anchor of familiarity. You'll surprise them, and that surprise is a strategic window for you to engage in a conversation, since the guard will drop a bit more.
jaleach@reddit
There's a Croatian Cultural Society organization in the next town over from me that hosts dinners and other activities. I've never been because I'm a caretaker for my Dad who has Alzheimer's so I'm stuck at home mostly, but they do various activities and host dinners that anyone can attend if you're willing to pay a few bucks. The meal comes with Croatian beer so that's a plus.
Looking at the pictures you can tell all sorts of people stop by. Lots of Asians for instance. You can tell more than a few are Croats but I don't know if they speak it because they're diaspora Croats.
Anyway a place like this might put you into contact with some native speakers and they'd probably appreciate speaking with you since it's a relaxed environment.
Maybe you can find something similar near you.
glorychildthe@reddit
First thing to understand about the Balkans is that most people are very friendly in the right circumstances. But when out and about doing chores (paperwork, commuting, shopping) it's the exact opposite, people are not that friendly in those circumstances