Leaving Spain to stay with my parents in USA. Trying to come up with a long-term plan

Posted by freezingazzoff@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 16 comments

Hi all. I (24 F, American) need advice from people who might understand my situation. I know that no one can make any decisions for me. I just need advice that takes into account all of the complexities of the situation.

I have been living in Spain since 2021 and it has had big ups and downs. I was doing the english language assistant program for two years which was honestly unfulfilling for me and then dedicated my third year here to finishing my master’s.

In Spain there are very few jobs in my chosen field (educational psychology) and I think if I wanted to stay long term I’d need to change paths to practice a different form of psychology that is more employable here, which would require at least one more year of full time studying (to do the PIR exam) or getting a different master. Economically, being here has been a struggle, as I have student loans from the US that I can’t pay right now. Also, side note, my partner is unwilling to throw his medical career away to go work in the US, which would require him to redo his medical residency..

Right now I am unemployed with no papers and have to go back to the US no matter what to not overstay my tourist visa. Me and my partner aren’t married nor have we done “pareja de hecho”.

The only things I really have left for me back home are family and good opportunities to make money in my current field. However, my family guilts me for leaving in the first place. I feel like I don’t fit into my small, conservative midwestern town and have few friends left. I feel like most everyone is a miserable workaholic and I don’t want to end up like them. My family is already suspicious about me wanting to come back to Spain someday and wanting to leave some of my belongings behind with my partner. When I talk to them about coming back to Spain they use against me the difficulties I’ve experienced and the unemployment, etc. They have never even tried to come here and visit me, not even once, and have literally no knowledge of life here. My mom is the only one who supports me unconditionally but I know me leaving forever would break her heart.

No matter which country I choose, someone will get hurt. I want to find my long-term place in the world and ideally stay with my partner but I don’t want to be broke, unemployed or doing unfulfilling english teaching. I also don’t want to deal with the constant guilty conscience of leaving and feeling “selfish”. All things considered, what should I do moving forward?