Is Merging Etiquette a Thing?
Posted by Distinct_Word_4717@reddit | driving | View on Reddit | 45 comments
Is it just me? Or am I too cautious?
I have only been driving for a little over a year, but my daily commute is an hour both ways so I do a fair amount of driving... I feel like I don't ever merge unless there is plenty of room to do so. In heavier traffic I just stay in my lane or wait until it thins a bit. I always signal well before I merge and wait for a clear opening and merge smoothly and evenly into the lane I want to be in.
I feel like this should be the common mindset? But it doesn't seem to be. Merging seems to be a free-for-all, regardless of the safety hazards. Daily I am hard slowing from 80 mph in the righthand lane down to 60 because someone decided to wedge their way in between two cars forcing the car behind the to slow down substantially to avoid a collision.
Even this morning I was travelling in the right lane, keeping a safe following distance between myself and the person in front of me, and despite the fact that the road was clear behind me a red tundra decided to scootch right on in there forcing me to slow so I didn't hit him.
I like to maintain a following distance of a few seconds between me and the car in front of me when I can, especially at high speeds. Its not an invitation for someone to merge in between so that there is a car length of less between us now. But people do it all the time.
Its it just me? Am I missing something or am I correct in thinking this is unsafe and aggressive driving?
(PS: In my state it is legal to travel in the "passing" lane at up to 15 mph over the posted limit as long as you are not "impeding the flow of traffic". In my state it is essentially just the "fast lane" for people who need to travel a farther distance before their exit.)
xxshilar@reddit
In defensive driving courses and videos, it was defensive to allow a person in front of you to merge in front, but they would merge behind you if behind. Also, you'd use the turn signal to tell said driver your intention, and he/she should act accordingly. Today, I almost was forced off the road by an arse to refused to let me in front of him when I was , and his lane ended! I kept on, know if he hit me he'd be at fault. He later ran around me into the left lane, and got stuck in traffic.
grouchy_ham@reddit
In general, you are not wrong. The merging traffic has the responsibility to do so safely and without disrupting traffic. However, I am absolutely astounded at the number of people that absolutely cannot stand for anyone to merge in front of them, and insist on shoving their front number up the tailpipe in front of them. Couple that with people who refuse to move into the next lane over to accommodate merging traffic, when feasible to do so, and it’s the perfect recipe for exactly what you’re describing.
Once again, the merging traffic bears responsibility for merging safely, but there are also things people can do that make that task easier, smoother and safer.
Intrepid-Love3829@reddit
I feel like we need the rules rewritten because clearly people love being assholes when the “rules say so”
MikeP001@reddit
If you're leaving an appropriate amount of space to the vehicle in front (2-3s), there's plenty of room for another vehicle to merge, certainly more than a car length. They're not cutting you off, they're merging correctly. It's not a problem, it's not that inconvenient, it's called driving. It's not rocket science to see when that's going to happen when you're beside an on ramp. If they come in a bit closer but they're moving at your speed - you don't need to brake - it's not an issue. Just lift to re-establish your safe gap. Lighten up.
If you're leaving less than 2s, then you're tailgating. If you're doing it to prevent others from merging in front, you're a poor driver. Smarten up.
JohnnyD423@reddit
I don't think that we should refer to lane changes as a merge. It makes more sense to me to refer to a merge as two or more lanes merging onto one.
whatevertoad@reddit
Number one driving pet peeve are people who think their blinker gives them the right of way. I nearly hit a car who changed from the middle lane to the right lane I was in because the middle lane was going slower. He threw on his signal and just went when I was traveling faster than him, but not a lot because I slow down for exactly these people. I slammed my brakes and tapped my horn. Guy has a meltdown and drives onto the shoulder and screams at me, "doesn't my signal work?!". I wanted to say so badly, "Yes, but your brain doesn't". But I just kept my eyes on the road.
Plan your route so you have time to change lanes when safe to do so. Look for a safe opening. Then signal and go. There will always be time, unless you're just driving recklessly. Also, if you miss your turn that's your fault! Do not make it everyone else's problem. You can take the next one and go back.
Sorry. Vent over.
guy_n_cognito_tu@reddit
Are you talking about merging on the interstate? In your example, if you insist on riding in the right hand lane going 80, then you should make space for those entering to merge. In that case, you're the one with bad etiquette.
Distinct_Word_4717@reddit (OP)
No.... people are supposed to merge in behind you. If you are slowing down to let cars in you're disrupting the flow of traffic.... It makes sense if someone is merging left into the slow/exit lane to let off the gas and let them in... but at 80 in the right lane you should not be hitting the breaks to let a car wedge in when there's no space....
jmadinya@reddit
not if they’re speeding and going faster than everyone else around them. these people are the ones disrupting what should be the natural flow of traffic.
Distinct_Word_4717@reddit (OP)
😭
jmadinya@reddit
yea im talking about speeding in the rightmost lane (in countries where you drive on the right), in that lane ppl are usually at or below the speed limit.
Gonnabehave@reddit
Don’t suck at driving bud. If you see a merge lane ahead pull into the left lane for 10 seconds before you get there. That is the curtesy. But no it is not your job to slow down for others but you will learn there are lots of stupid idiots on the road. Do you want to get into an accident and fight a person in court even if you are right they will claim you had lots of space and rear ended them and all sorts of bullshit so really you just have to drive for idiots and expect they are going to do dumb things and live with it. But super easy to move oven to left lane for long enough they can merge.
jmadinya@reddit
if you’re going to speed and pass in the rightmost lane have the common courtesy and do yourself a favor and move left at the merge point. the ones that really mess things up are the ones who insist on speeding up to prevent someone from merging in front of them
Tall-Poem-6808@reddit
If you're doing 80 in the "slow lane", it means that either it's really light traffic, or everyone is Mario Kart'ing their way to work.
Most people can't merge for shit, so you can't expect them to merge at a speed higher than the speed limit on top of that. And if 80 is the speed limit, most people will not be comfortable hitting that on the on-ramp / merging lane.
You might be right, but by sticking to the right lane and forcing the merger to hit the brakes and slow down to let you go first, you're only making the problem worse. Just move over and move on with your life. You're a new driver, you'll soon learn that if you get annoyed at every little inconvenience and stupid behavior on the road, you'll go crazy.
Distinct_Word_4717@reddit (OP)
I meant to say left lane, the "fast" lane. I promise I am not going 80 in the slow/ merging lane.🥲😭
Tall-Poem-6808@reddit
alright, that makes more sense! Merging implies coming from one roadway onto another, in your case it's more like lane changing then. Some people are just completely oblivious to traffic around them, or they feel like they HAVE TO BE on the left lane, so they'll slowly creep their way there, than maybe accelerate to a decent speed.
"I'm doing 2mph over the speed limit, it's my right to be in the left lane" <-- there are so many drivers like that, it's infuriating. And if you pass them on the right, then you become the reckless driver.
HolyAssholiness@reddit
Being aware and courteous to the surrounding traffic is a thing. What you are asking has far too many variables. I'll give you an example:
You are driving legally in the right lane and you see a car merging to your right. However it is not yet up to speed and something needs to change or you will collide. You have traffic to your left so you can't move over to give the merging traffic room. There is traffic behind you. What do you do?
You can slow down a little so that the merger can merge safely.
Or you can speed up "hoping" that the merger understands your motive.
If you choose scenario 2 the merger will often freak out and come to stop on the onramp thereby creating a very dangerous situation.
These types of situations will arise all the time and dealing with them will become automatic if you start properly dealing with them now. Additionally, the situation that you described will also happen quite a bit. Learn to EXPECT that many drivers are just in their own bubble and do not give 2 fcks about anyone else.
What we are talking about in these situations can be largely mitigated if people would not use cruise control in high traffic areas. Your foot should be automatically making subtle adjustments according to your surroundings.
Distinct_Word_4717@reddit (OP)
I was talking about the left lane 🥲. People who force their way into the passing lane rather than waiting for an opening. I'm just a dumbass and got my lefts and rights mixed up. I promise I'm not preventing people from merging into the highway.
Though your take on cruise control is refreshing. I say the same thing to my family but they give me shit about the fact that I never use it.
HolyAssholiness@reddit
Understood. However I was more addressing the overall issue of courtesy in general driving in traffic. I drove semi truck for 40 years and I've seen it all.
sdp1@reddit
If you are going 80 in the right lane and I'm trying to get up to speed for the merge, but you won't back off and force me to slow down while running out of my lane then you are an ass. I've been in situations where there are several cars in front of me already merging, yet when it's my time to merge, I see some ass coming up at a very high speed. I'll jump out, and I might even hit the brakes. Why the high speed when they have to slow down anyways because of the merged slower traffic. Bottom line, quit being a dick and let that car merge even if YOU dont consider the gap to be enough. You are the one creating a problem. 80 is excessive for the right lane. Move the fuck over.
Distinct_Word_4717@reddit (OP)
Nah I definitely don't speed up to not let someone merge. If I see your blinker and you look like you're about to merge I'll let it happen, especially if there was enough space to let a bunch of cars in ahead of you. Like go for it. I agree that its annoying when someone sees people merging and actively prevents the last cars from merging in. I don't have a problem with people merging in general, its when they aggressively merge when there isn't enough space to safely do so rather than waiting for a safe opening so they force their way in ( as in all the cars in the lane are going 80 and a car going 70 swerves to merge in causing all the cars behind them to slam their breaks.)
There is one stretch of toll road on my commute that, during rush hour, has cars pouring onto it and people block me from merging all the time. Like I'll be trying to get onto the freeway and they'll be cruising by at like 75 in a 55 in the exit lane and not let me out. Like the road ends in 1000 ft can you not?
But I gotta disagree with you bud, if you're jumping in and then break checking you are the problem. Its petty and aggressive and that shit causes accidents... I don't like it any more than you do when people don't let me merge but you gotta keep your reactions in check or you're putting others at risk.
sdp1@reddit
My point is that you have to let them in. If you don't, are they going to stop and wait? No. There is no stopping. Slowing down makes it worse. I don't care if the car merges at 1/2 a car length.. it is what it is... the right lane is not expected to be fast-moving traffic. And no I dont slam on my brakes, but that guy IS going to hit his brakes because he is not going to get in front of that semi or other slow traffic.
Distinct_Word_4717@reddit (OP)
My dumbass mixed up my lefts and rights. I was talking about people aggressively merging into the LEFT lane. Like when they force their way into the passing lane when there isn't enough room and makes everyone behind travelling at a high rate of speed slam their breaks to avoid a pileup.
Yes I absolutely let people merging onto the freeway in. Every time. Not trying to be the asshole that runs someone off the road because I refuse to slow down enough to let them on. 🥲
sdp1@reddit
Yeah you did...
Distinct_Word_4717@reddit (OP)
Okay bud lol..... With that attitude not surprised that you are a brake-checker. 👎🏽
sdp1@reddit
Well, don't read into it too much. LOL.. Everyone was responding with the assumption of traffic merging ONTO the freeway. You weren't clear.
teajay530@reddit
you must live in a nightmare area, everyone moves over for ramps that don’t have their own lane where i live. 80 is fine for the right lane the issue you’re describing is the lack of courtesy people have for others entering
sdp1@reddit
CA traffic... it can be bad in areas.
tianavitoli@reddit
in this instance, i would think 'they' are an idiot.
JLF061@reddit
This is exactly how I drive. I refuse to merge unless there is space because I consider it to be rude, and I hate when people do that to me. The only exception would maybe be back to back traffic, but even then I rarely change lanes because it's so congested and if I do I make sure to do it early so I don't have to rush. Too many people will cut you off at the last moment or slow down dramatically because they are missing their exit. Should've merged sooner, not my problem.
trap_money_danny@reddit
I accommodate others who are entering the freeway if im in the right lane by merging left temporarily. I expect almost nobody to be at speed when entering.
If I'm entering the freeway, I'm almost always going faster than traffic on the freeway and will pick a spot without disrupting flow.
If traffic is crawling: general etiquette is zipper. 1,2,1,2,1,2
Distinct_Word_4717@reddit (OP)
I was in the left lane. I am so sorry I got them mixed up. I was talking about people trying to force their way into the passing lane. 😥
trap_money_danny@reddit
All good — I can barely read, anyways. For that - people gotta do what they gotta do. When I'm in Utah/Western Slope CO, Rural Texas - it's easy to not impede traffic.
In Houston? Where going 12 miles takes an hour in traffic? You have to force your way in and understand others are going to do the same.
Distinct_Word_4717@reddit (OP)
Makes perfect sense. Obviously in terribly heavy congestion its an entirely different expectation. 💯
Professional_Poem456@reddit
Sadly I almost never see people actually zippering where I live... no one wants to let anyone in front of them so now the merge lane is backed up with the interstate traffic until someone let's people merge in again.
trap_money_danny@reddit
Sounds like the midwest. In Texas, its generally accepted that youre fucked either way and people just yield to the zipper, albeit slowly.
Professional_Poem456@reddit
Maryland over here! It's a mess, I hate trying to merge in that kind of traffic because people suck. God forbid they're 1 car further back. It's either you wait or you aggressively squeeze in somewhere and risk an accident.
Fokazz@reddit
Is it a thing?
More of a lost art
justanotherwave00@reddit
Is etiquette ever not a thing to consider when dealing with people?
To answer your question, yes of course people appreciate it when you are considerate.
onlycodeposts@reddit
You're driving in your own private Idaho. On the road like a wild potato.
Distinct_Word_4717@reddit (OP)
No idea what this means but I like the idea of being a wild spud.
cantareSF@reddit
Hit up Spotify for some B-52s classics.
onlycodeposts@reddit
Idaho is one of the few states to allow 15 over while passing. It might be the only one, Minnesota allows 10.
SignificantEarth814@reddit
The TLDR is if you merge, it causes a X second penalty wave propergating backwards until it gets so weak its undetectable. This is inconsiderate.
However if merging causes you to speed up, leaving the area quicker, then the density of traffic has gone down. This is considerate, or at least results in better utilization of infrastructure - possibly only for your benefit. However this is still not considered inconsiderate. Utilizing an elevator in a busy mall isn't inconsiderate even if the escalators are nearby and disabled people exist. Everyone has a right to use public services they pay tax for equally.
At very low speeds, below 30kmph/20mph, Germans/etc. have a protocol for merging, basically you "zip up" one after the other, and the faster/remaining lane will allow the mergers on the slow/dissapearing lane to merge because its impolite not to. They have a lot of protocols in Germany..
jmadinya@reddit
i can usually find a good way to merge but sometimes there is the person that speeds up because god forbid you merge in front of them. these people i cut off to force them to slow down but im ready to get out the way if they dont. almost always they’ll decide to move over a lane and pass me. i absolutely hate the people that do this or sometimes they’re just dickheads who decide to make the rightmost lane the passing lane with no regard to anyone looking to merge.