Who's the biggest/best (worst?) bullshitter you know?
Posted by LagerBitterCider197@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 233 comments
Right then, time for a laugh on this cold November morning.
I know this has been asked on this sub before, but thought it was time for a re-visit – who’s the biggest bullshitter you know?
Numerous liars I was at school with in the 90s – this was before smartphones and the internet being mainstream, so you couldn’t easily check the facts to catch these people out.
Here’s a couple of personal favourites:
- One lad who like to tell everyone he was related to Duff McKagan from Guns n’ Roses.
- Another who’s dad had travelled to Florida in the early 90s and bought a Lamborghini Countach at auction, that had been used in Miami Vice amongst other things – oddly, no-one else had ever seen said car.
- One who liked to boast his uncle was the managing director of Stansted Airport
- I worked in various pubs/restaurants part-time when I was at college (this industry is absolutely packed with bullshitters) one “chef” in particular would like to try and convince everyone he only went into catering as a result of his fledgling career at Arsenal coming to an abrupt halt due to injury – he’d often boast of how he was invited to various events at the club, and would mix with the players, who he was all best mates with. I recall one time he was telling us about how he was in the corporate box at Highbury with Frank McLintock, Liam Brady and Anders Limpar when Gabriel Batistuta scored a famous goal in the Champions – caught him out when he forgot that at the time, Arsenal were playing their home games at Wembley.
Berookes@reddit
Knew a lad at uni halls that swore his mate stayed awake for 3 years by doing cocaine constantly. When I laughed and said that’s literally impossible he squared up to me and nearly went agro assuming that I was calling him a liar
Present-Technology36@reddit
You know alcohol can have that effect as well if you make yourself incredibly hungover. Your body will begin to spasm and not be able to fall asleep. Either that or you pass away. I was once awake for nearly 9 days. I ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks. I had to get 3 drips. One in both my arms and another in my foot. I thought I had broken the world record but apparently I was off by 2 days.
cantevenmakeafist@reddit
To be fair, all that coke and sleepless nights will put anyone on edge.
Present-Technology36@reddit
I had a colleague at a supermarket who claimed to be rich but one of the managers caught him stealing cans of coke and sacked him. Then he got pissed/turned up angry and drunk one day and threatened to sue the boss.
The-all-seeing-pie@reddit
My wife had a mate she grew up with, used to talk the biggest amount of bollocks you’ve ever heard. Among these tales were that he had a designer sock business, complete with a factory, and he once declined an invite to my mrs’ birthday as he was in Germany visiting one of his customers. We bumped into him in the supermarket on the same day as the party, no explanation or even mention of this Germany trip.
The best one though was that he was coming home from the pub one night, when a limo pulled up next to him, rolled down the window, and inside was Ferne Cotton who offered him a lift. Apparently she’d been to a charity do and as a result was in possession of a pair of Ricky Hatton’s boxing gloves from the charity auction, which she then proceeded to wear while she wanked him off.
He was an odd fish.
Luke11enzo@reddit
Remind me of a guy I used to work with who told me that he chatted up ferne cotton in a club and she give him a pokey bum wank in the toilets later that night. He was a good looking bloke so wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility until he mentioned the bum fingering 🙃🙃🙃
ShouldBeSomePlace@reddit
I'm afraid to ask what this is
ukpunjabivixen@reddit
👉🏽👌🏽
Luke11enzo@reddit
Seems We have an expert in the field
PrognosticateProfit@reddit
Jerking someone off while sticking a finger up their poop shoot.
minisrugbycoach@reddit
It's well known Ferne only does sexual stuff whilst wearing boxing gloves. A bum fingering is gonna be very difficult with boxing gloves on, so I think he's lying.
GradualTurkey@reddit
If you're getting in the ring, you'll appreciate the gloves.
The-all-seeing-pie@reddit
Imagine if both of them were actually telling the truth, and it turns out Ferne Cotton is really a marauding sexual deviant with a hand kink and a penchant for strangers.
minisrugbycoach@reddit
She may be the next Savile 😯
Rich_Pay675@reddit
I too have heard tales of Ferne Cotton being a toilet marauder.
Reasonable-Horse1552@reddit
Was his name Jay?
Whulad@reddit
You can’t really better that last one
The-all-seeing-pie@reddit
Every element is just so random
First-Lengthiness-16@reddit
Used to work with a bloke. Really bloody nice but for some reason felt compelled to lie all the time.
He had a tattoo of the Last Supper painting across his back. (He had no tattoo).
He claimed to have a 20 plant cannabis grow in his flat. He invited me back for a smoke and there was nothing there.
The best one was on a night out he asked to borrow some money so he could stay out drinking. I said yes straight away. Whilst at the cashpoint he told me the reason he had no money is that he had sold some Turkeys to the Queen and she hadn't paid him despite him chasing her up a few times. Was going to get the debt collectors involved but he felt bad because she was an old lady
Friendly_Apartment_7@reddit
Pretty risky to lie about the tattoo; the first thing anyone would say is “give us a look” then you’re rumbled immediately.
First-Lengthiness-16@reddit
Yeah. He told this lie repeatedly.
His reason for not showing his back was that he had a bad back and couldn't get it cold.
His reason for having a bad back, he slipped and fell onto a kerb when defending a young mother and child from attack.
I would have included that lie above if I had remembered at the time.
Feel the need to point out again though that he was a genuinely lovely bloke who I have a lot of time for.
Friendly_Apartment_7@reddit
Probably felt compelled to lie to make himself liked by others, which is a shame if he was a nice bloke anyway!
watsee@reddit
Kid I knew when I was growing up came out with a few interesting ones.
There were a few more, but those are the ones that come to mind.
AnTeallach1062@reddit
"One who liked to boast his uncle was the managing director of Stansted Airport"
That is more of an admission of failure than a boast.
Reasonable-Horse1552@reddit
My ex husband used to be a manager at Gatwick Airport and our daughter told everyone at her school that he actually owned Gatwick !
tlc0330@reddit
Lol, that’s funny and a fair misunderstanding, assuming she’s primary age not sixth form age.
Reasonable-Horse1552@reddit
She was in year 1, I think, so about 4 or 5.
tlc0330@reddit
Definitely cute and funny then!
LagerBitterCider197@reddit (OP)
Yeah, it's similar to saying "My dad "runs" Network Rail"
talking_heads_90333@reddit
"my dad works for Halo and he'll ban you"
one_pump_chimp@reddit
Network Rail has a chief executive just like any other company
Specimen_E-351@reddit
The best lies are the ones so pointless that nobody cares about them enough to work out whether or not they're true.
j1mb0b@reddit
I used to work with a woman who was like that. She used to say things like "I had chicken for lunch" (she hadn't) or "My mum works in a shop" (but she doesn't). I can understand people exaggerating stories but this lady would just come out with bullshit all the time! None of it was true and yet despite her fantasy she did an excellent job and was otherwise normal.
Never understood it.
Valuable_K@reddit
Known a few people like that. One girl told me she'd gone home on the bus when she'd actually gotten the train. A guy at uni told me his dad worked in marketing when he was actually an ophthalmologist. It's a weird disorder.
maybenomaybe@reddit
I had a coworker who faked having breast cancer. She actually cried on my shoulder about it at one point, knowing that my mother had survived it.
Wherever you are Katrina, fuck you.
LagerBitterCider197@reddit (OP)
I had a contractor I was employing in 2016 do a similar thing - she didn't turn up for work as her sister had developed cancer over Christmas, I made two phone calls and quickly verified she didn't even have a sister.
originaldonkmeister@reddit
It never ceases to amaze me how many promising footballers seem to end up doing something else because of a knee injury right before the point at which their name would start to show up associated with the club they supposedly played at.
Take me for example, I was a rising star in the youth squad at Chelsea United (before I sadly stubbed my toe and trod on a Lego brick, thus ending my career just before my name went on the website).
Majestic-Pen-8800@reddit
We had a guy at work who says he had his career with QPR ruined because he stood on a starfish!
Minimum_Leopard_2698@reddit
The Posh Cunts next door - own a grade 1 listed mansion and like to think they rule the village. We do not own a mansion.
Jonny Yah Yah is genuinely old money, successful insurance broker etc. But Wifey is the neighbouring towns bike, well known as being a trollope but seems to think she’s someone noteable.
She’s managed to raise two kids, one of whom stripped her way through University.
She also went mental at an Asda delivery van for going to her house by accident because “we most certainly do not use Asda”
Guess you get the voddy from the Tesco vans we see then love 😂
Tricky_Ricky83@reddit
One guy I knew was like that, amongst other things he told us he was in a band, he had a new drum kit for Christmas that nobody ever saw as it was up the attic, he had to get his roof removed and put back on to get it in. He lived in a terraced council house. He also got us “free tickets” to watch his “band” play….we all turned up at the venue, surprised to find there was no gig. Said he played for Cardiff City under 14s, also rubbish. And randomly said he was sponsored by Reebok and they gave him a free hockey stick.
Minimum_Leopard_2698@reddit
Had to take the roof off…and put it back on again…
salty_sherbert_@reddit
What did he say when you turned up to watch but there was no band?
It's mad how far some people take the lies
Tricky_Ricky83@reddit
We knew he was talking nonsense, some of the boys went to call his bluff knowing it was a load of rubbish lol
kifflington@reddit
Does he not understand that drum kits come apart?
Tricky_Ricky83@reddit
Professional level kit apparently, came pre-assembled lol, I didn’t believe a word of it even as a kid myself.
Meet-me-behind-bins@reddit
Me. I’m the biggest bullshitter in my county, some might even say the country. This one time I won an award for it, they gave me a prize and everything. The whole town came out to applaud me, they had to close the high street to traffic.
Different-Use-5185@reddit
Even the paraplegic man at number 22 stood to applaud, such was the occasion.
Minimum_Leopard_2698@reddit
Oh bravo
Specimen_E-351@reddit
No. I call bullshit.
DrLGonzo420@reddit
Same he lives at no32 . 22 doesn’t have a ramp
Independent-Guess-79@reddit
Ahhh reminds me of a time gone by…
I used to know a guy, who shall remain anonymous (let’s call him bob), who had to one up anyone and everything anyone had ever done. He was a really nice guy but had this strange trait.
So one day at work, we are sitting in the break room and we are talking about breakfast. Bob pipes up and says “my toaster is the best toaster in the world. You know how sometimes toaster won’t brown your bread all the way to the edge? Well this one, this one always does. It’s the best toaster you can buy on the market”.
Everyone is suitably impressed when one of the team asks him how many slices you can cook at once. Bob replies “two” and without skipping a beat the guy who had asked Bob responds with “ahh yes, I have the same toaster but it has slots for four slices”. Bob, not to be outdone, responds with “yeah but mine can boil eggs” to which the entire break room falls off their chairs laughing and calling Bob out on his bullshit once again.
Bob once asked me if I had seen the end of a rainbow and when I said “no Bob, that’s impossible” before I’d even managed to say “it’s impossible” he blurted out “I HAVE”. To which I just looked at him and asked if he’d seen a fucking leprechaun too.
Bob did this for years. Then one year we go on a work trip, about 20 of us and we end up at a seaside town. We are all sitting down to lunch one day and one of the guys mentions there’s this pretty famous band playing at a local venue tonight and how he wished he could go and see them. Without waiting for anyone else to say anything Bob pipes up “I’m best friends with their lead singer. I can get us all backstage passes”….fucking Bob. So for some reason, the rest of the team believe him. They all get dressed up and ready to head out and ask me if I’m coming. Of course I’m not going. You’re all going to get there. Stand outside for hours in the pissing rain and have a shit night. I’m going to bed. See you in the morning.
So I wake up the next morning and everyone is looking quite hungover at breakfast. I ask “what’s up with you guys?” And one of the team responds with “oh man we didn’t get in until about 4am. We went to the venue where that band was and waited for ages” I chime in “why did you guys go. You know Bob talks shit. There’s no way he was-“ “we waited for ages before the bouncers gave us the back stage passes. Bob really is friends with the lead singer. We sat and drunk whisky with them all night. It was amazing. We had so much fun!”
I couldn’t believe it. Bob was really friends with the lead singer of this band? Well if that’s true, maybe some of the other shit he’s said is true?
Here’s a link to that toaster that boils eggs…. https://ao.com/product/tt552842-tefal-toast-n-bean-toaster-black-93795-79.aspx?ef_id=CjwKCAiArva5BhBiEiwA-oTnXf3kMS4rEO9Pv-PLlpk5Duj8lDnrURA7myrE1NBakQ3MuP2r4gCKAxoC4DQQAvD_BwE:G:s&s_kwcid=AL!8149!3!715334959391!!!g!861941205817!&&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=shopping%20-%20sda%20-%20back%20up%20for%20issues%7Cshopping%20-%20sda%20-%20back%20up%20for%20issues&utm_term=shopping%7CTT552842_BK&utm_content=pla-861941205817%7Cpaidpla&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADmq139LMIcJPUZR_GrVZpE2gKAxY&gclid=CjwKCAiArva5BhBiEiwA-oTnXf3kMS4rEO9Pv-PLlpk5Duj8lDnrURA7myrE1NBakQ3MuP2r4gCKAxoC4DQQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
I’m still waiting to see the end of that rainbow though.
MysteryRockClub@reddit
I'm dying! That's the best thing I've ever read!
Crystalline_E@reddit
I have to admit that when I was about 5 years old I insisted my family had been to Australia....for the weekend, to cover for the fact that the teacher had asked me "what did you get up to at the weekend" and the answer was nothing at all.
I robustly defended my lie and I chuckle about it now
soverytiiiired@reddit
He told many stories. So many that I can’t even remember them all, but this was my favourite.
He was a football coach on a weekend to a group of under 10s. He told us that one day he was at a match when an out of control bin lorry veered off the road and onto the pitch (the pitch was at least 100 metres from the nearest road). The bin lorry then ran over and squashed several of the parents who were watching the children. He heroically ran onto the pitch, got into the cab and stopped the lorry inches from the children, saving all of their lives. The bin lorry driver had taken ill, so he removed him from the lorry and gave him CPR, saving his life as well. The children then all cheered and carried him across the pitch. None of them seemed to be grieving for their dead parents in the stands.
CreditBrunch@reddit
Shut up, it really happened:
Bin lorry
MysteryRockClub@reddit
Nicely researched!
Scorpiodancer123@reddit
🤣 I needed that laugh today
RevolutionaryPace167@reddit
😆😅
Royal_View9815@reddit
I’ve heard Universal are in talks to do a movie of it!!
Dazpiece@reddit
Binned It Like Beckham
LagerBitterCider197@reddit (OP)
Brilliant
InviteAromatic6124@reddit
A former friend of mine tried to meet up with me multiple times in 2017, each time he ended up cancelling on me with a different excuse ranging from "his tyre came off midway" to "his ex-partner wanted him to look after their daughter last-minute".
He completely ruined my rleationship with him however when I went on a road trip with him in 2019 and he bullshitted his way into me paying for our theme parks tickets, accommodation and food for 5 days because he "didn't understand how to use a bank card" and "he would 100% pay me back once he sent an invoice through to his wealthy parents". He also said he would return our hire car (signed in my name) at an agreed time but continued to hold onto it for 4 extra weeks, claiming he was "homeless and living in it" at one point, then claimed it was stolen. I checked the "police report" he sent me but I saw the date on it didn't match up with the date he told me it was stolen.
I never saw a penny from him and he owes me over £5000 still.
The-all-seeing-pie@reddit
That is some next level bullshitting to be fair.
InviteAromatic6124@reddit
I should have seen something like this coming. I wish I'd never taken him up on that lousy road-trip.
West-Ad-1532@reddit
Every single tradesman I've ever met. They're all on £1500 per day, Hardest, Bench press world record holders, 20-pint drinkers, sportsmen and best lovers.
carmillamircalla@reddit
Not when the taxman asks they're not
Emergency-Aardvark-6@reddit
One of my mates. She contradicts herself constantly and talks about stuff I know she hasn't done. She doesn't get out much. She has a heart of gold and is a good friend, so I don't care.
wildOldcheesecake@reddit
Essentially a bloke at work. Only he’s a partner of the firm. Typical “I would have made it pro if it wasn’t for an injury” type of guy. Very smart but a prick too. Simply cannot stand it when someone has something to share, always has to one up people.
rrreason@reddit
If you went on holiday to Tenerife, he went on holiday to Elevenerife.
Marmalade_flesh_@reddit
If you've had one shit, they've had two shits. They're a two shitter
pajamakitten@reddit
You have a forehead, he has a fivehead.
Emergency-Aardvark-6@reddit
The keeping up with the Jones thing winds me up. My parents have friends that do this. I honestly don't know why they put up with it. Always pay more for whatever my mum and dad have had done. Decorating, posher cars etc.
Marmalade_flesh_@reddit
If you've had one shit, they've had two shits. They're a two shitter
LEVI_TROUTS@reddit
Friend of mine from school has always talked loads of bullshit. We were a group of 4/5 and he'd always have a story to tell.
We met up in our mid thirties and he told us he'd been through some hard times. He'd almost committed suicide, he'd jumped off a pier near us (North of England), but saved himself. He swam to France and was recruited for it by the French foreign legion. After basic training, they dropped him into the sea from a helicopter and he swam home as he was homesick.
Totally seriously told to a group of 3 other 30+yr olds. Mental.
Growing up, around 13yrs old, he told us his dad used to be going out with the original Christine Kochansky from Red Dwarf. I told my dad and he said it was rubbish as she was a fairly famous singer called Claire Grogan and not just some bit part actor from a TV show. A few years later we were going through his dad's guitar and porn film collection (the stringed instrument, and the VHS tape type) and we found a small set of polaroids. One of them was his dad's dick (if it wasn't, his dad's tattooed arm was holding some other blokes dick) in Christine Kochansky's mouth...
So who the fuck knows what to believe.
Goaduk@reddit
This young lad we employ. I don't think he realises that adults know things.
I was telling him about my new pc and he said his brother had built his and was getting 400FPS on GTA5. His Co worker had just started driving lessons and the kid was like "my brother does that, only he's so good he gets private lessons" we tried to explain to him that's how all driving instructors work "no, not like that, someone brings their car direct to his house and takes him out by himself for 2 hours, it's like the premium service for the best drivers" us:... no it's how ALL driving lessons work.
He also said his cat goes into COOP and steals food for him when he's hungry.
Valuable_K@reddit
I'm so good at eating Indian food, I get private curries. Rather than me going to the curry house to eat, a guy delivers it directly to my home. It's a premium service for the biggest curry munchers.
Goaduk@reddit
You must be the Curry King!
pajamakitten@reddit
They even call him 'Boss Man' to let him know he is the best.
Available_Remove452@reddit
I'm so good at capitalism, I've worked out that someone will pay you actual money for doing things! I often do things for forty hours a week, the money soon adds up.
Goaduk@reddit
Careful now, trumps going to pick you for finance Tsar.
General-Respect-5491@reddit
Start calling him Jay from inbetweeners
Goaduk@reddit
We already do don't worry. Unfortunately as the boss not to his face.
NunWithABun@reddit
He's missing a trick by not turning that last one into a children's storybook. Make the protagonist a homeless little urchin and you've got a Carnegie Medal on your hands.
DJGibbon@reddit
My son's best mate (10 years old)
Once we were in the car chatting about tall people and he claimed his Dad was 4 metres tall
I called him out and said that was ridiculous and he relented and said "OK, maybe 3 metres"
I pointed out that he wouldn't be able to get through a standard door and he claimed they just have extra large doors in their house
pajamakitten@reddit
Not so bad at ten. Kids are terrible at guessing height, weight and age of adults.
MMLFC16@reddit
Went to my younger brothers football match years ago, travelling in the car in the way. By brother had his friend in the car who played for a different team. His friend claimed that his team were so good that not only had no one scored against them that season, but no one had even got into their half of the pitch. They were 10/12yrs old at the time. I called BS but he insisted. lol, dumb kids
thatcambridgebird@reddit
My five year old daughter, who will blatantly sweep her toy ponies under the chair, *in front of me* and then swear blind that she absolutely has tidied everything away properly.
standupstrawberry@reddit
When my son was 3 or 4, we were getting ready to go out, he insisted he was wearing socks. He feet were completely bare. He had a meltdown about me not believing him that his feet did in fact have socks on (they really did not).
Turns out he finds socks and shoes (and mist clothes) very uncomfortable and I've spent the following 10 years dreading every time I need to replace anything for him. Me and him have worked out almost what's good for him and what isn't but sometimes we'll get something and it's just inexplicably wrong
most-tenni@reddit
Sounds like he could be autistic?
standupstrawberry@reddit
Sorry this got a bit long....
I have suspicions. But nothing confirmed, we left the UK and the country where we live now doesn't have a great track record with treatment of autistic people. There are a lot of things he does that I thought were normal, because I do them or they're normal in the context of my family (no eye contact, lack of social fluency, sensitivities) and the rest we wrote of as dyslexia (poorly coordinated, speech and language and stuff) because it mirrors traits and the way that his father, who was diagnosed as dyslexic in the 80's seems. So we spent most of his early years pushing for someone to take us seriously about that - which they have here at least and he finally has accommodations at school for that.
Then someone suggested maybe autism for the 3 of us and it's like oh, well - bit late now, I'll keep it on the back burner for if we move back or they catch up with the rest of the world here - I just encourage everyone to accommodate each other at home as much as possible (which I've kind of always done) and try to help everyone find strategies to manage as best as possible.
most-tenni@reddit
Sounds like you’ve got a solid grasp on everything.
I only ask as I work in the field of autism and everything you’ve said leads me to believe you should push for a diagnosis.
Please don’t ever think it’s too late to seek a diagnosis, I work with autistic people who were diagnosed as late as 50, and they all tell me it’s one of the best things that has happened to them.
standupstrawberry@reddit
Unfortunately we live in france now and it's not the same as the UK with those things. They're still believe in Freudian psychoanalysis (even if it's losing influence slowly) and don't really acknowledge lower support needs autistic people. So it's a bit more complicated.
made_from_toffee@reddit
We had a legend at work who said he was sunbathing in the garden & saw two planes coming from different directions on a collision course with each other & thought oh my god what can I do! So he ran in got a big mirror off his living room wall & used it to flash the sunlight at them to warn them which made both planes veer off & miss each other, one of them flew in a circle & flew over his house to give him a wing waggle salute to thank him
TheRetroCrowe@reddit
This lad at my primary school had some absolute corkers, but these three stand out in particular.
Firstly, he claimed he was Anthony Padilla from Smosh, despite looking absolutely nothing like Anthony Padilla and being, you know, a primary school kid rather and definitely not a 20-something year old man.
Secondly, he claimed that he lived in a mansion. I called him out on this because there were no mansions anywhere close by. His response to this was that the mansion could turn invisible, and that he had a button on his watch that could control whether it was invisible or not. Problem with that is, he didn't have a watch.
This third one is just weird. He once pulled me aside, looking super serious and on the verge of tears. Said he had a secret to tell me and I had to swear that I'd never tell anyone. He then went on to explain, still dead serious, that his dad was a gnome, and that he was also a gnome but took some sort medication to make him look like a human. He said that his dad died when he was young, as some sort of complication of being a gnome. I was super confused, not just because of how ridiculous this was, but also because this kid wasn't a particularly close friend of mine, so I don't know why he was telling this secret to me of all people?
A few hours later, I saw him getting picked up from school by his dad, who was neither dead nor a gnome.
mcbeef89@reddit
Best reply in the thread, hilarious
themosthappy89@reddit
I used to work with a lady in an office who lied about everything. It used to rile me up because everyone used to believe everything she said (bar me and one other woman). One day she came into work saying she couldn't see very well, maybe she needed glasses. A few days later she said she'd picked up her new glasses from the opticians and wore them most of the day. She took them off at one point so I investigated and lo and behold, they were non-prescription lenses.
iceblnklck@reddit
Girl in school said she was late because she got hit by a bus. Not a mark on her.
Temp at work said she was dating Anthony Joshua and was off to Vegas to watch his match. Turned up with a wedding ring on the day after and said she was never dating him and was married to Mark from Take That.
Lily_Hylidae@reddit
There was a girl at my school who claimed she slept with Mark Owen after she waited outside his hotel for him. She was 13...so I really hope that's not true! (It definitely isn't true.)
louismarshmello@reddit
Ben wood
Hot-Stress2879@reddit
Woman I know claims to be a titled Lady, related to the most famous family in the UK after the royals. Claims to pay “the top of the highest tax band” but works as a legal secretary looking after farmers in mid wales. Sells all sorts of bollocks stories to the press, steals photos to pretend she has a private helicopter, was invited to the coronation etc. It’s hilarious and pitiful to watch to be honest.
I wonder if she will ever get exposed as a compulsive liar and fantasist. Would love to see it.
katieonthebus@reddit
Who is the most famous family in the UK after the Royals?
Hot-Stress2879@reddit
On reflection I think this may be regional but I can guarantee everyone in the UK and most of the world has heard of the family. I know she obsessively searches for her new family name so I’m not going to say any more as she’s a nasty piece of work. With dreadful teeth (unrelated to any of my other points).
LordEmostache@reddit
Ah, The Trotters?
Hot-Stress2879@reddit
Mange tout.
ghodsgift@reddit
Surely this is a very easy one to call-out?
Hot-Stress2879@reddit
I remain hopeful. Some of the newspapers published a story about her being an exotic dancer, followed a few years later by a name change, a new title, and some bollocks about a pretend relationship. It’s so odd. Fascinating to watch.
LordEmostache@reddit
Tbf as someone from Mid Wales, they'll print anything in the papers, every day is a slow news day.
"Farmer Rhys from that farm just outside Newtown, on the way to Llani, 2nd left opposite the RFC, has once again claimed to have seen a Unicorn which turned out to be a Donkey with a dildo on it's head!" could be a real Headline there.
mad-un@reddit
Peter White, an old lad from my home town, we ended up at the same uni, he used to tell stories that people at home had told him, but place himself as the main character in them and was caught out on numerous occasions
Nicknamed White lies
If the Inbetweeners has been around at the time, he would've been worse than Jay
Agreeable_Fig_3713@reddit
There’s one in my village. An incomer with the fakest posh Scottish accent you’ve ever heard. Constant claims of royal bullshittery. Worked at balmoral, close with the king in yonder years blah blah blah. The thing is someone here is actually related to someone who has lived on the estate and worked at balmoral for decades so we all know it’s bullshit. If he’s even been there at all it was as a tourist.
Also with the kids in school ones - I’d let them off. My grandas notorious for winding us up with shit like that. He ‘helped’ me with a pompeii project for school in primary four coz he’d been and he let me take his pics in. I’m stood in front of the blackboard going “and that’s Jimmy, he was asleep in bed when the volcano went off. That’s Tam and Eck and they were on the nightshift”. My teachers laughing asking where I learned that and of course “my granda told me. He kent them”. She’s near purple in the face going “somehow figgy, I doubt he’s that old”. I was about 11 or 12 before I figured it out.
LagerBitterCider197@reddit (OP)
Is a posh Scottish accent actually a thing?
strydercrump@reddit
Maggie smith?
Agreeable_Fig_3713@reddit
Of course. The Edinburgh morningside is usually the typical example folk give but Nairn and Inverness can be close too
Runaroundheadless@reddit
Yeah. I lived in Morningside till I was eight. On holidays a very regular routine on arriving at camp sites was go for a wander with my brother, end up being accused of being English and fighting with bullying type kids. All worked out fine, as is usual with kids, after the initial contact. Moving across the water to Fife altered the accent a fair bit, ken? Nowadays what remains of clear speech is useful when working abroad as I ken how tae speak right. Nae accent, ken?
boredsittingonthebus@reddit
Please tell me you're joking here.
Pr6srn@reddit
They say haggis, and not 'aggis.
MrHotfootJackson@reddit
An ex from long ago.
Once tried claiming whilst watching a film that he knew the bleach blonde blonde chap from that 90s anti-piracy short, they'd shove at the start of VHS tapes. The one where he buys a hooky copy of Trainspotting off some market stall.
Should have taken that as the flaming red flag it was.
ShouldBeSomePlace@reddit
There's an older guy at work who lives next door to every Premier League footballer and Indie/punk band member since the 70s. He's a good guy otherwise, though.
hipposaregood@reddit
A fella told me that he was completely irresistible to the opposite sex, women would literally claw each other's eyes out to be close to him, they'd go so wild with lust that they'd be flinging themselves at him in front of their husbands all day long.
He looked like Postman Pat?
Nandor1262@reddit
I worked with a someone who was overweight, balding, mid 30’s and in a ‘band’. He’d been a cook at Spoons prior to working with us and had somehow got a senior position in a professional setting with a degree which didn’t relate to our work at all.
He used to come out with the most bullshit dating stories. We were talking about Brienne from GOT and how tall she was. He took this as an opportunity to tell us he used to date a 7 foot tall Swedish model. “Yeah man those Scandinavian women are really big but incredibly good lovers. I had some crazy times with her”.
He also told us about all the girls he’d dated when he was younger “my bod was in great shape back then, women couldn’t resist the six pack” - I’d seen photos of him when he was at uni and he looked the same.
The manager in our team ate all this up and loved the guy.
Eventually he got sacked due to his behaviour towards female colleagues but he wouldn’t admit this and claimed he’d been “headhunted for a fat pay rise” and was ‘bouncing’.
Necessary-Trash-8828@reddit
Had an old boss who was on a motorbike riding past boscombe airfield..
Apparently a jet was taking off at the same time and so he decided to race it.
He kept up the whole way and then the pilot gave him a thumbs up as he flew off.
Valuable_K@reddit
My brother went to school with a guy who claimed, very seriously, that he could turn into a liquid. He said he could travel around by going down the plug hole and emerging on the other side.
LagerBitterCider197@reddit (OP)
huh?
keerin@reddit
Guy I went to school with tried his hardest to be the biggest bullshiter and I think he succeeded with two belters.
He was off sick for a week because he caught a virus his dad downloaded off the computer.
He walked into his bedroom to play N64 and found his mum using the rumble pac on herself for pleasure.
LagerBitterCider197@reddit (OP)
that's just plain weird
Andros25@reddit
My ex- friend (also my cousin's first husband in the end) at school said: His aunty invented flora margarine (Aunty flora?) He was 9th in line to the Scottish throne (what Scottish throne) He had relatives (plural) who went to space back in the 90s (ok)
Pegasus2022@reddit
Someone i work with lies about his military service, lies to the ceo. Gets away with stopping work a few hours before we are suppose to.
HoraceorDoris@reddit
I know someone who is the ultimate Walter Mitty. He’s so convincing, he’s dangerous! He’s appeared on Sky TV as an “expert” in the MH-101 tragedy and has done so many things it’s hard to keep up. This includes:
Being presented with a George Cross for rescuing special forces personnel in Iraq
Having 2 Masters degrees at the age of 20
Having spina bifida and subsequently being cured
Being a Radar expert with no formal training (ditto Radio Communications)
Being an off duty paramedic when he helped someone in difficulties (helping was true in this case)
Being a Merchant Seaman Captain and wandering around town in a uniform
He uses false information in job applications and is so convincing, he is only found out when he is employed to do that job. He’s even had an air traffic control position until he was rumbled. I’m sure someone will get seriously hurt because of his lies
MachinePlanetZero@reddit
Is the "appeared on telly over MH101" bit true? (Ie : did they blag their way into that job under the pretence of being an expert?)
HoraceorDoris@reddit
He blagged an air traffic control maintenance job on the back of falsely claiming to be a radar “expert”. This was on the back of working at my company as an office gopher, filing paperwork. Christ alone knows how he blagged the “ask an expert” gig with sky, but as I said, completely plausible and you only get to know the real “Walter” when you trip him up. I’m kept abreast of his various shenanigans by people who are “friends” with him via fb and LinkedIn. I don’t personally have time for his shit.
I googled him after posting and there’s a photo of him with a famous actor. He’s wearing a white shirt with a set of Merchant Navy Captain’s epaulettes 🤦🏻♂️
spy-on-me@reddit
This guy is to a level that sounds like it needs to be reported?! Surely there’s a crime in there somewhere
olid@reddit
This woman from work:
- Runs 4 companies (But is a finance assistant for us)
- Cousin Organised the Paris Olympics
- Dad was a racing driver and taught her to drive at 8 yrs old
- Her Ford Cmax 1L can beat a porche off the line
- Once gave tips to the head of formula 1 when he was touring her husbands factory
- Countless more I honestly cant remember
SimilarDisplay832@reddit
One plumber I worked with...
was one of only 5 glass welders in the UK. He gave it up because it was too easy
He went to a job on a remote island with no airport so he went in by helicopter, parachuting in with his stilsons in his boots to save the day
There was loads of other things I can't remember now!
MrsCDM@reddit
I've mentioned one before about a neighbour who would go out of his way to tell the daftest lies imaginable, but I've just remembered another neighbour who was very much out of work but told us his last job* was completely different each time we saw him. Furthermore, when he was apparently in the Army, the injury he was medically discharged for changed every time he told the story. It ranged from being blown up and damaging his knee, being shot in the leg, being in a tank which crashed and damaged his back and having shrapnel embedded in his head too close to his brain (the biggest thing I object to on that one is believing he has a brain).
*I'll give you a few memorable jobs he claimed he had as his most recent work; a builder, a diamond dealer, a gravedigger, an electrician on oil rigs, a car salesman, a long-distance lorry driver, and a dog trainer.
gerrineer@reddit
Brother in law ..moved in with my sister who lived down the road from my mum ( i was born in that village grew up in that village and know pretty much everyone there) mum had a strange knock on the door at 10pm so phoned my sister he rushed up there and while outside met one his mates who was in the s.a.s ..this is the man who told me a story about fighting with ghurkas but called the knife a machete ( my dad was in Burma with ghurkas )and he told me the la police phoned him up to talk someone down from a hostage situation he's owned multiple company's but now works for evil the blokes a wanker.
KitsuneKamiSama@reddit
Had a friend when i was younger that was constantly lie to me about stuff, mostly petty stuff but like trivia about a show or a game, or lying about rules in something we were playing etc, i knew he was lying but just couldn't be bothered to call him out because he just made up more lies to cover for himself.
Sufficient_Return653@reddit
Some sausage I kno said he got pulled by police with loads of cocaine n they just let him off hahahaa
Sea_Puddle@reddit
I used to work with a guy who was immensely overweight but used to brag about being a cycle-freak and go on about how he’d cycle to work every day and sometimes be cautioned by the police because he’d reach over 70mph. I used to cycle to work every day and always asked him why he’d never walk to the bike shed with me (I knew it was coz he didn’t cycle and would always get the bus). He also used to fill in the really easy metro crosswords and brag about how good he was at doing them and leave them on the tearoom table for everyone to see but I caught him looking up the answers on his phone several times and he’d say it was just a coincidence. He’d also tell stories about random strangers he’d confronted in public about petty shit like loitering or cycling on the pavement, and every story would end with a policeman coming along who would reaffirm him. It was so pathetic I didn’t even challenge him most of the time, it was just hilarious. 🤣
Gorgonite2024@reddit
Me. I once saw a kangaroo sandpapering a fine piece of English Willow. Was all over the news.
gilestowler@reddit
I worked with a guy who played disc golf. He used to try and impress girls by lying to them that he was ranked something like second or third for disc golf in the UK and one of the top ranked players in Europe. I don't know why he thought playing with frisbees would impress girls, but he gave it a go anyway. I actually looked up the rankings and there was no sign of him. In fact, I managed to find one tournament report that mentioned him and that was it. When I pointed this out to him he told me in a patronising tone that I "didn't understand" how rankings worked. He also told people he owned a disc golf "company" that was worth a shit load of money - yet he had to borrow money every week from people to buy cigarettes. Again, I got tired of this nonsense so I looked it up and the company was owned by someone else. I asked him about this and he told me that I "wouldn't understand" how his company had been stolen from him.
I once asked him if there were disc golf groupies. After a pause while he thought up some bollocks, he told me that he was once at a tournament in Sweden when he went back to his hotel room, only to find beautiful, blonde, Swedish twins there. They were covering their boobs and bits with frisbees and when he entered the room they threw the frisbees across the room, leaving themselves naked for him.
He was always creepy as fuck around girls - I started seeing a girl who worked at the same place and he kept sleazing around her, even telling me once that it was his "turn" with her. He eventually got engaged to a girl - I guess he found someone who believed his bullshit - and when she dumped him he got arrested for setting fire to her flat.
TopBunner1@reddit
In response to another mate's story about seeing someone walking a ferret on a leash, they claimed to have seen a man walking crocodile on a lead in their hometown.
thatpoisonousduck@reddit
My ex's brother made all sorts of wild claims to impress people. He told his girlfriend he went to a prestigious university when he hadn't gone to one at all. He went on and on about it once, even saying in front of her and her family that I had gone to a rubbish university, as had his brother, because we weren't all that bright.
Unfortunately for him, my dad was the vice principal of that university.
Pen_dragons_pizza@reddit
A bit off topic but how would you feel if a friend of 20 years started lying about many aspects of their life to you, from qualifications, past jobs, lying they are not on benefits or that they make lots of money from a business when they do not and many other small things.
How would you deal with this situation ? Or would you slowly just let the friendship die out since they do not respect you enough to be honest.
Valuable_K@reddit
It would depend what kind of mate they were. If it was a close friend who I'd confided serious things with, I'd be disappointed and feel betrayed and probably struggle to be mates with them.
If it was just a drinking buddy or whatever, I'd be amused and probably couldn't wait to hear what they'd come out with next.
Pen_dragons_pizza@reddit
Yeah it’s the first one, been friends for over 20 years and always been honest, as well as telling them some serious things about myself.
It’s really rubbish but I guess I could see the friendship ending for a while now. It’s just difficult to listen to someone lying to your face, especially when that person has been a constant in your life for so long.
Doesn’t help that I feel guilty though, even if I am unsure why.
Happiest_Mango24@reddit
If they weren't like that before?
I would think something medically was wrong with them and would ask someone closer to them to take them to the doctors
Pen_dragons_pizza@reddit
They have always been a bit of a liar but I guess with age it has become less tolerable
spacetimebear@reddit
My 5 year old. Like fuck did he build a rocket and go to space.
Glittering-Round7082@reddit
My dad managed to convince me that the entire world was black and white during WW2 and "Colour" was only invented just after the war to cheer people up.
He came up with an elaborate story of work parties being issued brushes and tins of coloured paint and everyone went round painting everything until the whole world was in colour. This job wasn't complete until the early 1970s.
K1ng_Canary@reddit
Oh man, as a kid...me. I don't know why, I think I just led a very boring childhood and thus liked to spice it up. I remember my parents coming in to my primary school one day for parents evening and reading a 'what we did over the holidays' bit in my school book and then wondering why I'd made so much shit up.
It properly caught up with me when I was about 15. I told all my mates I was having drumming lessons and I was getting good then our music teacher asked if anyone could play the drums so my friends all pointed at me. The sheet humiliation of having to get up in front of my entire class and just hit random drums has lived with me ever since. Horrific.
dung_coveredpeasant@reddit
A new lad probs 9 years my senior at an old job, thing is he was a really nice guy and once the bullshittery ended up fizzling out we became really good friends, think his lying came from a place of major insecurity, but anyway here's my favourite..
First day of working together, he tells me he was in the marines, he had no idea my best mate was a serving marine at the time and I'd only just recently had an application for them myself, so I instantly replied :
"Oh what unit? My mates in 40 commando."
I saw the look of fear in his eyes that he was couldn't Walt his way into this one and without missing a beat, I shit you not, with the most Yorkshire accent possible replies with:
".. The US marines"
"you were a US marine.."
"yeah, combat medic."
"So you're American?..."
"My dad is yeah.. Good times.. Good times"
The conversation fizzled out rapidly! I'm glad you outgrew that shit rather fast Adam wherever you are 😂
originaldonkmeister@reddit
Oh, I worked with a guy who sold his car, citing reasons to do with breaking up with his girlfriend. He then refused to sign up to our employer's driving licence mandate scheme, citing privacy concerns.
Then we learned from other means that he had knocked someone over whilst drinking driving, which wasn't that long after getting his licence back from the last time he'd been caught drink driving. Absolute arsehole. So, was bullshitting rather than admitting "I can't legally drive because I'm a selfish tosser".
As an aside, he too was an aspiring sadly-injured Arsenal player who for some reason didn't show up when you googled his name. He refused to play inter-office football "because everyone would claim he was a ringer".
expanding_waistline@reddit
Security Guard at a cinema I worked in told me various lies about his 'time in the military'. The best being that on his week off he'd gone over to Iraq (2006) riding helicopters, sniping insurgents with special forces. Problem was he was house sharing with some other staff members who told me he spent the week playing video games.
TeaAndCrumpetGhoul@reddit
Back in secondary school there was a kid who said his dad was friends with Brad Pitt and that they'd go around his house to smoke weed. This kid had several stories like that. He also claimed in his old school that he had a threesome with two of his teachers and got them both pregnant.
LagerBitterCider197@reddit (OP)
I recall around 1996 a 13-year old boy at my school boasted he'd had group sex in a London hotel with all the Spice Girls.....at the same time.
TheFlyingHornet1881@reddit
Is your mate Jay from the Inbetweeners?
Jolly_Constant_4913@reddit
I find the true ones funny when they're related to someone else
I know or an related to x billionaire or celebrity.
..and?!
I used to be one of those 🤣
AppropriateBass6058@reddit
A friend of mine from a dance class was in the Britney Baby One More Time video. Aged 13.
a3minutehero@reddit
A guy I lived with in halls my first year of uni swore blind he had bionic legs, though he could never quite articulate specifically how. He liked the idea of going into the police, so we called him RoboCop.
Also a lad at school who's uncle worked for Nintendo, but probably everyone at school in the 90s had one of those.
Murfiano@reddit
Known bullshitter at one of my old jobs was talking about his new girlfriend and decided to show me the pictures of her (Facebook profile pictures), called him out when I noticed it was my cousins lesbian daughter. He backtracked and said oh no we’re just Facebook friends
Liightwork22@reddit
Actually a good friend of mine but does exaggerate and bullshit from time to time.
The first was that he was in the army, he was definitely in something as I’ve seen the photos of him holding guns etc but he says he’s killed before so that means he’s been deployed in a war zone, which I know never happened. Then comes the best part, he hasn’t just killed someone, he used a Desert Eagle.
Then there’s the watch he has which retails for around 90k, same kinda thing you buy on holiday from the guys at the beach. I’m almost offended still to this day that he thinks that I think it’s real. Obviously when he’s had no money and I mention maybe selling the watch, the response is “won’t get enough for it” lol
Scorpiodancer123@reddit
Surely the only answer to this are the absolute legends who awarded Katie Hopkins the Campaign to Unify the Nation Trophy.
npeggsy@reddit
We had a guy at uni who always had a story to tell- he gave off the vibe of someone who'd had little to no romantic experience, which we wouldn't have any issues with (it was a Primary Ed. degree, pretty much as far away from lad culture as you could get),but according to him he was some sort of Cassenova in high school. One of his stories involved a friend who he described as a fuck buddy, but they would also climb up into trees to read Shakespearean poetry to each other. Truly bizarre stuff, it kind of just made it more obvious nothing he said about his life outside uni could be trusted.
Ryansdad123@reddit
Danny G from smethwick
edsta62@reddit
I’ll break your legs
Mycoe@reddit
I'll bite your nose off, see these teeth, yeah? It's not to beat you, it's about the humiliation, yeah?
lemonsherbert4@reddit
I went to school with a girl who tried to blag she was a descendant of Helen of Troy.
Her surname also contained the letters bull so it didn't take long after many of her stories for her surname to becom3 bullshit
RaedwaldRex@reddit
Guy I knew said he'd fixed up a dirtbike (he was 11 - 12 ish at the time) he'd always boast about it, how he was always riding it and had won all these races, and had loads of trophies and medals on his walls in his room
He said he kept it in the garage at home and he would work on it at the weekends. The best lie he said was that he was riding it round a dirt bike track, right next door to the track that the dirt bike world championship was on. Apparently, one of the team managers there spotted him and was so impressed with his skills that they asked him to race in the world championship race. He was leading all the way, and on the last lap, his wheel came off, so he had to do a wheelie round but still managed to win.
A couple of weeks later, I had to go over to his house to pick up some schoolwork or something and asked to see his bike. He told me I couldn't as his dad was riding it, had got into an accident and it was completely smashed into pieces that I wouldn't recognise!
Our mums got chatting so we went up to his room to play Mega Drive and I asked where all his dirtbike trophies and medals were, apparently his parents were cleaning his room and had accidentally sold them!
spaceraiders711@reddit
This one is kinda messed up, but i knew a girl who would openly talk about being r3ped and s/a, that her dad and uncle would do things to her, even though daddy used to pick her up from college, and her bf forced her to do horrible things, in open conversation, in town centres, on lunch break at college, she'll make it about her, even though the conversation was nothing to do with any of that (why would it be) she'd also make up stories about how she went to prison and ran the joint 😂 (she got arrested and put in a cell for a few hours because she got drunk and had a fight) and how she was super poor, and her parents struggled (her dad ran a car dealership) but obviously the bs about the s/a and r3pe was disgusting and we distanced ourselves from her after that
jamboman_@reddit
People don't believe this, but I once saw Fern Britton wank somebody off with a pair of boxing gloves on...in the back of a limo.
In terms of knowing a bullshitter....there was a guy called kev on my estate who would say things like:
He sold his stereo but forgot he had £4,000 hidden in a speaker, so he had to go and burgle the house he sold it to. Instead of stealing it, he unscrewed the speaker, took out the money...all why there was a dog asleep on the sofa.
There were many more from him, but I forget now
Plumb121@reddit
Not sure but I live next door to Brad Pitt and George Clooney so I'll see if they have any ideas when we have lunch.
friends_with_salad_@reddit
A guy I was at college with was telling people he was 'banned' from Laser Quest for being 'too good' and 'winning everything'.
He also told us all he had a job lined up in California writing movie scripts after graduation.
friends_with_salad_@reddit
We received a CV from someone a few months back (for an entry level role) who listed their former job as a “Secret Service Astronaut”.
NunWithABun@reddit
I'd have interviewed just to hear what exactly that entailed. Fascinating glimpse into a deranged mind.
thombthumb84@reddit
Someone I worked with:
was in the military but ‘couldn’t talk about it’
was on the British ski team
was single because he almost married into royalty but her family didn’t allow it.
had some work specific stories that every time he told them the people involved got more numerous and senior.
Was clearly good at lying as none of them could be disproved.
MouldyMan2@reddit
My next door neighbour growing up. We were 12/13 apparently his dad took him to an England game, while they were watching in the stands the ball got kicked into the crowd and just so happened to head straight for my mate. You'll never believe it but he did a few kick ups and then kicked it back on to the pitch but the jammy sod managed to score a goal. David Beckham came up to him after the game and said to Anon you really are amazing and I want you (a 13 year old child) to come play for England. My mate said soz Dave but I've got school work to be doing.
Runaroundheadless@reddit
Loads of ex squaddies who’s mate got a bit of his ear and nose eaten by a camel spider when they were in Iraq. Oilies too with the same old story ending. This is usually someone falling asleep in the pump house or whatever. It is a fact of life that bullshitters are everywhere. Usually they get away with it or so it seems. Generally it is not worth the bother of calling it out. Imo.
Kindly-Effort5621@reddit
I'm slightly fixated with a local influencer who claims to:-
Made £6million in sales in 3 months age 16 with a skincare brand.
Raised raised £350,000 for charity and sold over 50,000 copies of his book.
Has over 1 million followers on instagram*.
I can't work out why he's doing it, and the reach he's getting is quite incredible. But it's all bollocks.
*This is actually true - but they're clearly all bought.
TheCarnivorishCook@reddit
My mate Jay Cartwright, we were jumping lava flows whilst 360ing diggers and he reckoned he did a 1080 once
unbelievablydull82@reddit
A girl I grew up with was a remarkable bullshitter. At 12 years old she came back from a cruise with her family telling me that she had started dating a 24 year old waiter, who owned a convertible BMW. When she was an adult, she told everyone she was dating a rich guy who owned a chain of hotels. In fact he was a cleaner in a hotel, and, after damaging his brain in a fall, liked to wear nappies at night and get her to comfort him to sleep. He voluntarily told us that. She also did a documentary on itv with Anne widecombe about how rough the estate was, completely shitting on a community that her parents had been helping for decades. She got the local mp to help her move to a new council home after she became less than popular in the area, not without lying that she was petrol bombed.
rmc1211@reddit
I had a work acquaintance who worked overseas for a while and the company paid for him to take business class on Emirates (or Qatar). He took a tonne of photos of the lounge, the complementary wine, the reclining seat that is like a private full bed, the clouds out the window etc, etc.
Since then three or four times a year he puts some of these old photos up on his social media and announces that he is travelling somewhere when actually he's sitting in his flat watching Netflix.
No_Initiative7093@reddit
Girl in my my class lived in a council estate and said Michael Jacksons tour bus stopped outside her house and he chapped her door to use the toilet.... 👀
friends_with_salad_@reddit
Wasn’t this that kid’s lie in The Goonies!?
DMBear89@reddit
A friend of a friend used to go around saying he was related to Brian May from Queen. I’m from Glasgow and Brian May is half Scottish . His family are from the borders area of Scotland, no where near Glasgow. I really wanted to call him out but I didn’t want to be “that guy”
Danglyweed@reddit
His mum was from Aberdeenshire wasn't she? Also, Glasgow is 40 miles away from where I am in the Borders, milesssss away right?
Ok_Willingness_1020@reddit
How does location matter you can be related and be in a different country , we need more detail / dirt on this one 🫖
Visual-Ad-4520@reddit
Scottish people can never move. Checkmate.
JWills1k92@reddit
There's a guy in work called Brian, but everyone calls him Bri Bullshit. Came in one day saying that a car had cut him up and caused him to spin, hit the central reservation, spin back around and catch it and carry on... not a scratch on his car
PinkGinFairy@reddit
I went to uni with a girl who said she had manatees in her garden.
RecentAd7186@reddit
My mate. He's harmless, honestly, but ill always keep him at a distance because I suspect he's told people I'm his girlfriend in the past. He works for radio stations and magazines (is a delivery driver) and has loads of good celebrity mates who he has interviewed. Never seen a published one though, as they use an alias for him. I've called him out in subtle ways but he's always adding some extra nonsense to the response to my questions.
My favourite was the interview transcript he sent me, where the A-list celebrity turns the conversation round to make it about my mate instead, and used the word "lol"...
All of this started when I went to uni and changed career to make something of myself.
R2-Scotia@reddit
I have known two people who were confabulators at a level of mental illness. Many stories.
Overthinker-dreamer@reddit
I had a firend I never knew was telling the truth or not. Most of the time it was a mix of half truth, half lies.
She had a hard time growing up so I think some of the lies was because of that.
She said things like 1) different boys fancy her (but never the boys we went to school with) 2) she was in hospital as a kid and claimed she was there a week and her dad didn't visit once. She also said her sister didn't come either and we was old enough to go alone. (If her timeline was right her sister would of been 10/11) - this could be true but I doubt it. 3) she was in Tunisia a week before the beach shooting- the truth she was in Tunisia years before this happen. 4) she didn't kiss her ex boyfriend after she had they second kid. I saw her kiss him with my own eyes.
They been other things I had question her a few months after she told me something and clashe never said that. So I only half believe things she tell me now
Flea-Surgeon@reddit
I've had the classic, "I am in the Special Forces", move in next door to me a couple of years ago. An absolute little prick lol. He is in the army, but I know for a fact that he's based in Colchester with the Parachute Regiment, and not "Hereford".
mellonians@reddit
Sounds like he might actually be SFSG
Flea-Surgeon@reddit
Nah, he's a sgt in the paras!
Carinwe_Lysa@reddit
One lad in college I'll always remember as he bullshit about something every other week.
The best one I remember is him saying he had a driving licence, but it was a special one which he got working for Next deliveries, and he could only drive a Next delivery van rather than any other vehicle.
I remember just sitting thinking what on earth is this loon going on about.
Responsible-Life-960@reddit
Wait! I think I know the logic behind this because I had one too- Farmers kids are allowed to drive tractors after 13. Reason being it's needed for the job they're doing (and also it's on private land but kids are dumb) so the lad who worked at the dodgy restaurant as a server told us that because of the same law he got a licence that allowed him to drive his granddad's Porsche conveniently only to and from work so we'd never get to see it
TopSale7706@reddit
Went to school with a guy called Chris, told everyone his uncle was Jean Claude Van Damme.
Chrissy Van Damme was his immediate and ever lasting nickname.
Years later he was barred from Luton airport for stalking the EasyJet woman from the reality show set there.
dvb70@reddit
By brother in-law.
Tricky to know where to start but top corkers would be the time he was driving down the motorway and got into a race with another car who left him for dust. A few miles down the road he caught up and pulled the car over and had a chat to the owner and it turned out the car had a jet engine which was why it was so fast.
Another was his uncle owner a Ferrari and it had finger print entry in the door locks and ignition and he made sure all of his immediate families finger prints could be used on the car whenever they wanted.
Honestly they have told so much bollocks over the years it's tricky to keep up.
lavenderacid@reddit
My former history teacher, who said he worked for NASA and GCHQ, used to tell a story about meeting a group of women who begged him to accompany them on a holiday to Africa, because of how masculine and protective he looked. He agreed, but during the trip, he was chased by a full-grown African elephant. He outran the elephant and then apparently somersaulted into the back of the moving truck they were driving in.
He also used to brag about his time in the "special forces", which turned out to be basic training that he dropped out of.
NGMB2@reddit
a woman I have the unfortunate pleasure of working with seems to lie about everything on the daily and genuinely thinks we all believe it.
A recent example: I mentioned in passing about going to Vegas next year. She had told me she had been and it was great, I asked her where she stayed and what casinos she visited and she couldn’t remember either because “she’s been to so many places”. Anyway, a couple of weeks later she saw me looking at hotels and must have forgot our chat about Vegas because she came right up to me and went “Ooo Vegas, I’d absolutely love to go there!”
I was also telling a colleague about my failed trial with the Wasps when I was a teen, in which she overheard. The next day she decided to go around telling everyone how she had swam from England while at school. By lunch, she had swam AND ran for England.
wyzo94@reddit
Used to work with this mental bullshitter. Another level of bullshit. Would tell me he lived in a million pound house even though I picked him up from his ex council house in a stabby area of Glasgow
Once told me he battered Nigel Benn because he managed to kick him in the hands which neutralised his only weapons.
Also used to say he was a Samaritans call handler and had a helicopter which he would take callers on to cheer them up
jesuseatsbees@reddit
There's a guy I know, vaguely, who has a story to tell me every time I see him. One time he told me he took control of a plane because he believed the pilot was incompetent, and then the pilot apologised and thanked him. Last time I saw him he told me he got attacked by 6 men in Brazil and took them all out with a single punch. Lovely guy, absolute bullshitter though.
BananaHairFood@reddit
I was friends with a girl at school who had a condition that flared up, and when it did she needed to use crutches, which got her a fair amount of (positive) attention. The other kids were all really nice about it and they'd help her out, etc. Anyway, another friend of ours sees this, and suddenly she starts getting hip pain, fatigue, basically all the symptoms my friend had, except hers are permanent and she needs her crutches all the time. Doctors couldn't work out what was wrong with her and she used to get really frustrated why they wouldn't diagnose her with the same illness our friend had (because scans don't lie basically).
This goes on for years. We were certainly suspicious that she wasn't telling the truth, but didn't have any hard evidence and it would be a pretty shitty thing to falsely accuse someone of.
Anyway, when we're 18 we book a holiday to Zante. It takes a matter of hours after landing before our friend is miraculously healed. The entire week she doesn't need her crutches at all. It was a miracle. Shame it didn't last and she needed them when it came time to fly home. But luckily for her, she stopped needing them altogether when we started going clubbing.
Over the years, she told us hundreds of lies. From pretend boyfriends, miscarriages, her parents' divorce, to making us go with her to the police station to report a sexual assault, which turned out (according to the CCTV) to be her forcing a kiss on a poor guy and getting upset from the rejection. It went on for a few more years before I told her I'd had enough of her lying, but I do periodically wonder what lies she made/makes up about me.
smoulderstoat@reddit
Went to school with a guy who claimed his Dad invented the hovercraft, and every time one was used he got royalties.
I-Am-The-Warlus@reddit
Hulk Hogan
I don't know him personally but I enjoy hearing the bs that he says
legaleaglebitch@reddit
There’s a regular in the pub who spouts a lot of bullshit. Only one thing he’s said is definitely true because we googled and found news articles about. Some highlights include:
This is just scratching the surface of some of the stuff he has come out with in the last 11 months since he started drinking in said pub.
taflad@reddit
I had a cousin that was around 40 stone. All of her adult life, she had been massive. She was an extreme sympathy fisher, and probably had Munchausen syndrome.
She once told everyone that would listen that she was suffering from blood, breast, cervical and skin cancer. She insisted on this for over a year. All the while, she was gaining weight instead of losing it
Before she passed away (she had a flesh eating bug after having an abscess removed caused by ill hygiene), she told everyone that she was tube fed and couldn't eat solid food, but her close family were buying her crisps, takeaways etc. The tube was for faster medication delivery
The issue was that if anyone called her out on it, she would go absolutely berserk, and her mother (who facilitated alot of her behavior) would also join in.
farfetchedfrank@reddit
There was a lad at school who said he was born on a plane
LagerBitterCider197@reddit (OP)
Sounds kinda classy, I guess if it was true you could have a case for stating your nationality as "international".
JsyHST@reddit
You,l would, apparently, have a legal right to claim either of the departure or destination as your nationality in that instance.
Daddicool69@reddit
Are you sure he didn't mean conceived on a plane?
Jonnyporridge@reddit
Lad I know called fat Matt. He just spoke shit constantly and when called out just doubled down in the face of extreme disbelief. He's calmed down now though.
PrettySailor@reddit
Went to high school with a girl who said she found a video of her dad fucking himself with a cucumber and then she oh no it was actually her uncle fucking himself with a dildo, they were just identical twins. It wasn't the only big lie she made, but the one remember.
JsyHST@reddit
When I was at school I started a newsletter entitled "The Gospel according to St." to chronicle the bullshit that he had spread over the years. This was some 20+ years ago, but of those I can remember:
Will try to add others as they come back to me, but the list was looooooong with the amount of bullshit he spouted.
Chimpville@reddit
We all know the biggest bullshitter in our lives, we don’t know who’s the best though.
SmegB@reddit
I guy I knew years back. Big Dave we called him. So full of crap it was ridiculous. Always bragging about the fights he'd been in, the gangsters he was an enforcer for, his debt collection for drug dealers. Always talked about his friend Mo, 7' tall captain of the Nigerian kick-boxing team. Toughest guy on the planet. Turns out he was a skinny white meth head. Everything he said was total bull, he was proven false multiple times but it just never stopped.
Endless, over-the-top bullshit
tastyreg@reddit
Early 80s, one girl claimed that her uncle was in fact Charles Babbage (died 1871) and that he had invented the computer scoreboard seen in Family Fortunes.
boredsittingonthebus@reddit
My mate. Ive copy/pasted this from a time I repied to a similar question:
He told me once that he was such a handful growing up that his parents sent him to Chicago to live with his aunt who was a cop. But the only reason he came back is that she was killed busting a drug den when she was decapitated... big pause... by Uzi fire.
Another story was about a politician who was going to be giving a televised speech from outside the town hall. So the day before he said he did a shit on the steps where the speech would be and the politician stood in it... big pause... on live tv.
Then there was his neighbour's dog who kept barking. He said he knocked on the neighbour's door to ask them to shut the dog up. When the neighbour didn't comply, he got a kitchen knife and stabbed the dog to death... big pause... in front of the neighbour. I asked his what happened afterwards. He said nothing! So what no repercussions? No police? No feud between his neighbour and his parents? No. He just carried on living his life as a bad ass.
Gold_Dust_0709@reddit
My ex, would constantly spin stories about his alleged American Pie-style escapades and parties, (despite everyone in his town apparently hating him) how he broke a man's leg with a single punch, how he was involved in shoot outs with gun gangs. His uncle had an ice cream factory AND was also an architect.
In real life he was no where as interesting as his stories made out 🤣
Different-Use-5185@reddit
The canoe bloke who went to Panama must be top 5 if you don’t count politicians?
topher2604@reddit
A friend of a friend claims to everyone that he's working on a deal with the CEO of Bitcoin, and it's worth $200m. He sponges off his performer girlfriend at every opportunity.
LagerBitterCider197@reddit (OP)
Brilliant
EdmundTheInsulter@reddit
I'm related to Bill Oddie but only distantly and he doesn't know me.
spamlettispaghetti@reddit
George Galloway
tmstms@reddit
First glanced at your post and thought Wow! Frank McLintock and Anders Limpar! WTF are these blasts from the past!? Makes me feel nostalgic and old simultaneously.
I guess the first person I personally thought of was someone who managed to bullshit the whole country for a while, but I must admit I have not seen him for many years.
Impetuous_doormouse@reddit
I've known a few - Some of the best/ worst:
The lass who tried to convince us all that (at 25 with a kid already) after her career in door staff and the army, she studied for and became a pathologist/ CSI but no longer did it for... reasons? She was painfully transparent, as her "worst case I've ever seen" tales were literally the classics from Rotten dot com. Like the heater element in the bath, and whatnot.
The guy who kept telling everyone he was in the navy and had many tales about it. Got busted when I called his house to see if he's gone back aboard yet and his mum just alughed at me, because he was actually working at Butlins in Minehead.
Narrow_Ninja5902@reddit
Someone I went to school with used to say the footballer, Joe Cole, was his cousin. A strange thing to bullshit about, but just 'meh' enough to be believable.
LagerBitterCider197@reddit (OP)
If that genuinely was true, I'd keep my mouth firmly shut.
Lovebomber777@reddit
The Guardian.
Martin_y1@reddit
jeremy clarkson !
dobber72@reddit
"It's not a fault, it's a feature, it's that new fangled stop start thing, isn't it?"
Is what you say if they ask you about it after they have bought the car.
TurnItOffAndOnAgain-@reddit
Lad i went to school with told us he had leukemia 'of the knee' he also claimed his step dad got an Aston Martin but only for £1000 cause it didnt have any wheels.
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