What is the best piece of advice you've ever received?

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Other_Exercise@reddit

Everybody's different. People slightly younger or in an earlier life stage often ask me for advice.

There's obvious stuff. Like emptying the kitchen bin before you go on holiday. Yes, that matters.

But ultimately, what works for me might not work for you.

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As a horrid procrastinator and perfectionist one of my uni lecturers told me "if something's worth doing it's worth doing badly". It's kind of niche but it really got me over my fear of starting things because of how long it'd take to do it to the standard I would want.

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Watsis_name@reddit

My first manager in engineering once told me that a good enough product is more useful than a perfect idea.

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MadWifeUK@reddit

I get it, I'm the same - a procrastinating perfectionist. The version I heard is "Perfect is the enemy of Done," and although it's difficult to get out of the mindset that it has to be perfect, I am finding it easier to get started on things.

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JustMMlurkingMM@reddit

“It’s better to regret something you have done that regret something you haven’t done.”

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riverY90@reddit

My dad got this one into my head. I was doubting heading to Aus for a few years, but age wise it was my last chance on the visa to get in. He reminded me if I tried and didn't like it it's not like I can't just get a flight home. 2 years later still in Australia and loving it. Thanks dad

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JustMMlurkingMM@reddit

I moved from Europe to Africa when I was 22, and have lived in the Middle East too. I’ve had a great career because I never turned down an opportunity.

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CarpeCyprinidae@reddit

^ Worst ever defence argument at Nuremberg

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riverY90@reddit

r/angryupvote

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mustangge@reddit

Lefty-loosey, righty-tighty

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MysteryRockClub@reddit

You've seen my testicles?

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Ok_Garden_4874@reddit

No. Its lefty tighty righty loosy - JD Scrubs

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Willsagain2@reddit

And back in the day when we had to wire our own 3 pin plugs:
'bLue Left, bRown Right, yellow&green in the middle.' I never could remember live and neutral so the colour/location was very useful.

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one_up_onedown@reddit

It's not advice but fits right here. Port side is left, same amount of letters and it's indicated by a red light on a boat. Port wine is red.

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mustangge@reddit

I always remember the phrase 'There is no red port left'

Also a red light on aircraft!

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RevolutionaryPace167@reddit

Don't have children with a man who has a large head 😱

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44Ridley@reddit

Why?? Asking for a friend.

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RevolutionaryPace167@reddit

Because it will be a very traumatic natural birth. And roo many pelvic floor exercises

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44Ridley@reddit

Damn, I've sometime thought about that.

"Will my offspring absolutely burst this woman's fanny wide open?"

Thing is, I got my "Hey Arnold!" Shaped head after birth so it's all good. Aren't babies skulls like jelly anyway? It's probably the shoulders that do all the damage.

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RevolutionaryPace167@reddit

😅😆😅😆 it all depends on the size of your head. Some ladies do tear, it's really rhe shoulders or if the baby can't crown naturally. That does the damage. It was something a relative said to me and I never forgot it.
I ve no idea if it is true or not but it gets a giggle 😄

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ClayDenton@reddit

I'm a man with a massive head but I shag men so fortunately I'm out the gene pool

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RevolutionaryPace167@reddit

😆😅🤣

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Random_Guy_47@reddit

Don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't go to for advice.

Also one which would have been very handy to know while still in school Percentages are reversible. X% of Y = Y% of X.

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riverY90@reddit

Don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't go to for advice.

I am currently having issues with my manager critiquing everything I do. Does this mean I can ignore her?

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fluentindothraki@reddit

The advice that every girl should get (I am old so it sounds old but it still stands)

If a man takes you out for dinner and is nice to you but not to the staff, he is not a nice man

Never step down into a bed (never sleep with anyone you would be embarrassed to be associated with i.e. this was not about social class but about self respect - it doesn't matter how hot a guy is, don't sleep with him unless you can respect him and take him seriously - that way you eliminate all the rats who don't respect you)

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miketyson240@reddit

Basically “don’t be a slag”

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fluentindothraki@reddit

"be a slag with standards"

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riverY90@reddit

This is more accurate

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FeistyUnicorn1@reddit

After splitting up with my exh who was on a smear campaign to try and make himself look better I was told the people that know you know the truth and the people that believe him don’t matter. At that point I stopped caring.

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lpmliam@reddit

Never join in when a group is bad mouthing someone or something. The best thing that could happen is the people in front of you go "oh, you feel the same as me then" whereas the possibility that you're overheard by the wrong people and it causes a shitty situation is a massive negative. It's never worth it. Another one, my Nan used to say which is so fucking true is "Don't start something, then you don't have to stop it then". I always think about that when it comes to raising my kids. They don't understand that you've had a great day and wanna share the joy and let them stay up extra late. They just complain the next night and say "well you let us do it last night!"

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stanley15@reddit

'You can't control what happens but you can control how you react' or something like that. From a Greek philosopher I believe, Epictetus. Heard this in many places, probably on a development course at work many years ago first.

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ThoseTwo203@reddit

I like the variation- I can’t direct the wind but I can adjust my sails

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44Ridley@reddit

Steam power bitch! Face the wind and keep on chugging, toot toot.

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Sleepyllama23@reddit

My mum- “if you don’t ask, you don’t get”. I’m quiet and unassuming and I’m out of my comfort zone asking for things but I’ve asked for pay rises and got them as well as opportunities which I wouldn’t have been given if I’d just stayed quiet. I tell my kids this all the time. If you’re not happy with a situation, communicate! Tell them! The worst someone can do is say no.

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bucket_of_frogs@reddit

Portuguese has the best expression for this. “Não chora, não mama.” (The baby) who doesn’t cry, doesn’t get

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Zealousideal_Day5001@reddit

the squeaky wheel gets the grease

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HighlandsBen@reddit

But I wanted the Brazilian boobies...

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Zealousideal_Day5001@reddit

the naked boob gets the squeeze

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44Ridley@reddit

A boob in the hand is worth two in the bush

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ozz9955@reddit

Always found this interesting, as the opposite saying is "the tallest nail gets the hammer"

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IamDLizardQueen@reddit

It's the same in Spanish, "el que no llora, no mama" and it's my favourite saying of theirs. In English I would say "shy bairns (Scottish word for kids), get nowt (nothing).

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blueskybel@reddit

In Geordie this is "shy bairns get nowt"

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Eugenes_Axe@reddit

So it could be said as 'No cry, no woman'? By The Wailers and Bob Marley

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LordEmostache@reddit

I misheard this as a child form my mum as "If you ask, you don't get" and from then on got crippling anxiety when faced with having to ask someone for something to the point that I'll just choose to go without rather than ask.

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No-Beat9666@reddit

In fairness I think that is a saying- my mum used to say 'I want never gets'

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rainbosandvich@reddit

The one I got from my parents was "I want never gets. Now say instead: 'please can I have?'"

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LordEmostache@reddit

Yeah that's more about asking politely though, as in you should ask for soemthing rahter than demanding it =.

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talking_heads_90333@reddit

even with the best parenting in the world the kid can still fuck themselves up for life

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LordEmostache@reddit

My mother was a dogshit parent, so it was an uphill battle from the start really

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diwalk88@reddit

I was raised that way too, but my husband was raised never to ask for anything. I've been drilling into his head that you have to ask for things in this life!

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ByEthanFox@reddit

Similar one from my English teacher at school:

"If you don't toot your own horn, no-one else will."

Basically don't be nervous to promote yourself when appropriate.

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DirtyLoweredTiguan@reddit

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Also, no one in the history of human beings has ever died from swallowing their pride.

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Willsagain2@reddit

"Just because you don't like something, it doesn't make it wrong." A gem from my dad when I was early teens. It's got me through a lot of things I've had to do without adding a mess of anger or resentment in my headspace.

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peanutskie123@reddit (OP)

Simple yet powerful words from your dad. It's a reminder that there's often more than one way to see things, and that our personal preferences don't invalidate other people's experiences or choices.

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Burning_Ranger@reddit

For people who are self-conscious about doing anything.... know that to every individual, they are the centre of their own universe. Everyone's own lives and problems take up 95% of their attention. That thing you are overanalysing and thinking people will judge you on, after that thing happens, it will almost never re-appear in people's minds again.

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Willsagain2@reddit

" You'd worry less about what people think of you if you knew how seldom they do" Oscar wilde or Noel Coward I think.

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Ok-Turnip-2816@reddit

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hold on.

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lordlitterpicker@reddit

My Granda Bobby from north east Sunderland proper hard man not afraid of one thing on earth (my grandma would say) as old school as it gets told me something that stuck I was telling him about some things I wanted to do and had planned and he looked at me and said "never tell the devil ya plans".

I didn't really get it at the time but I think what he was saying is don't give the game away don't tell people things that may not happen because it will disappoint them and make them think less of you if it doesn't work out, show people with your actions and progress not your words.

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AnnieAreYouOkayOkay@reddit

I feel this deeply. Thank you sharing.

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one_up_onedown@reddit

I discovered this one myself also because it somehow releases the energy you need to do said thing which you will then have to build up again to actually do it which in most cases leads to not doing it. I hope this makes sense

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guildazoid@reddit

I absolutely agree...to a point. I never tell anyone when I have e.g. a job interview, as I don't want to have to tell them if I don't get the job, or have them ask.

However I find if I tell people about a sporting achievement I aim to complete, I then feel committed to not failing to save face

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Laylelo@reddit

They’ve actually done studies that found that telling people about your plans releases dopamine as if you’d already completed them, and can make you less likely to bother doing it as your brain has already rewarded you for it. So there’s some interesting psychological truth to this saying!

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ozz9955@reddit

I call this the 80% rule (which I probably stole from that study). As in 80% of the satisfaction by telling others about it.

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miketyson240@reddit

Sorry but I was allways taught to believe in myself no matter what I’m doing

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jj198handsy@reddit

I think what he was saying is don't give the game away don't tell people things that may not happen because it will disappoint them and make them think less of you if it doesn't work out,

As somebody from the North East I think the 'devil' is more what is inside of you, as in your doubts, if you tell people they might be against your idea and that might lead you to lose faith in yourself. Might not have been what Bobby meant, but either way its good advice.

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lordlitterpicker@reddit

Yeah I get this too it's open to interpretation, I guess!

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jj198handsy@reddit

Another way is perhaps that if you tell people what you are trying to acquire they may try and take it off you, people often talk about the North East as if its the friendliest place in the world because everybody knows eachother, and everthing about eacheother, but that also breeds jealousy, and with that comes much more theft.

But yeah, which ever way you look as it the advice is, as you say, 'don't give the game away', the rest is what you bring to it, and it sounds like you have it work.

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Jolly_Constant_4913@reddit

I took it to mean that people will try and spoil it or do the evil eye

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peanutskie123@reddit (OP)

When I really think about it, it makes sense. I like the part about sometimes keeping things to ourselves until we’ve actually made progress. It helps avoid all the unnecessary pressure and expectations. Parents are smart to give the best advice. Your grandpa Bobby sounds like a smart guy.

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padylarts989@reddit

When someone shows you who they really are, believe them.

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ASY_Freddy@reddit

For parents

20 Years from Now, the Only People Who Will Remember That You Worked Late Are Your Kids.

General life advice on how to be a better person.

Never make fun of someone if they mispronounce a word. It means they learned it by reading

Never make fun of someone for where they were born

Never make fun of someone for how they look

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MesocricetusAuratus@reddit

Never make fun of someone if they mispronounce a word. It means they learned it by reading

I literally only learnt how "verbatim" was supposed to be pronounced like 6 months ago... Stupid non-phonetic language

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AppreciativeGent@reddit

Were you pronouncing it "verbatim", or "verbatim"?

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Boris-the-liar@reddit

Never miss the chance for a piss or a sit down

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Hulkenberk@reddit

It's better to have a life full of "Oh Well's" instead of a life full of 'What if?'s"

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Peter_gggg@reddit

If there's a job that you need to do, that you are dreading, get it done first.

It's never as bad as you think, and then you can come concentrate on tge others.

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twinkledustwin-5511@reddit

Worry will kill you but the problem wont

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Itchy_Hunter_4388@reddit

If your hands or feet feel cold your whole body will feel cold

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derelictnomad@reddit

It went asking the lines of:

Well you fucked that completely. Don't worry, you'll fuck plenty of things up. Just fix your mess and don't do the same stupid thing again.

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BabyAlibi@reddit

"no is a complete answer"

Learned from Reddit

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wardyms@reddit

There’s no such thing as a free lunch.

And

Don’t let the bastards grind you down.

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Astropoppet@reddit

There’s no such thing as a free lunch.

I would add that, if it sounds too good to be true, it is NOT true

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Ecomalive@reddit

Don't let a bad 10 minutes ruin your day.

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herne_hunted@reddit

Similarly, "Everyone is better than their worst ten minutes" - try to give folk a second chance.

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solongandboring@reddit

This is good advice it's so easy to be in a bad/low mood and then presume that it's now a bad day. Moods change, often quite significantly throughout the day

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lizwithhat@reddit

From my father-in-law, when I was heavily pregnant: "There will be times when you want to throw the baby out of the window. It doesn't mean you will, and it doesn't mean you're a bad mother. It does mean you should ask us for help. Never feel you can't tell us about it."

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citygirluk@reddit

"Work doesn't love you, only the people who love you matter when it comes down to it."

Very true and seen companies eject highly competent people who cared deeply about that firm, many times, with barely any thought!

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blueskybel@reddit

Don't take advice from someone who hasn't come through where you're at

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Rich6-0-6@reddit

Do something about it or stop moaning

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areyouproudma@reddit

"Keeps you safe but keeps you stuck"

My therapist said it to me as a throwaway line in a session but it really stuck with me.

At work, I was too anxious to ask for bigger projects. I was too scared to finally go travelling. I was too nervous to go to the gym.

And the way I justified it was that if I just keep going as I am now, I might not be happy but at least I on now I'm safe here, nothing bad will happen. But she helped me see that not making progress in my job, not seeing the world like I wanted to, etc. was keeping me safe, but I was stuck there. I was watching the world go by me in a bubble

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Immediate-Tooth-2174@reddit

"Ask a stupid question. You'll feel stupid for a minute. If you don't ask a stupid question, you're stupid forever."

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luker1771@reddit

I have a few I like:

It's better to be 10 mins early than 1 minute late.

Just enough is not enough

Be curious about tomorrow

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bonkerz1888@reddit

"Comparison is the thief of joy"

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surfinbear1990@reddit

Somebody told me that my best mates maw wiz a slag.

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Scarred_fish@reddit

"There is nothing in this world that can't be ignored, if you really put your mind to it".

This has literally kept me alive at points in my life.

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KeyLog256@reddit

I like the sentiment, and great that it's helped you out, but can't help think this is very very bad advice in general.

Searing chest pain, a mole suddenly growing in size, smoke and a smell of burning, bills then final reminders then bailiffs letters coming through your letterbox. I could go on.

Sorry to ruin the poetry of it!

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IGLOO_BUM@reddit

Channelling this one at work as we speak

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Zealousideal_Day5001@reddit

there's not enough said for 'not thinking about things' in this world. It's all 'bottling your emotions' and 'unhealthy'. But I'm a big advocate for it. When you're feeling anxiety about something you can't change and that you've already learned your lessons about, then force your brain to stop thinking about it.

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Particular-Lime1651@reddit

If you get arrested, don't tell then anything. Say your name, and your place of residence (if you're legally living there) Otherwise, don't say anything. Anything you say will be used against you

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rovastar@reddit

" Stop comparing yourself to other people, as you never walked in their shoes "

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knight-under-stars@reddit

"You don't have to win every battle to win the war"

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morganselah@reddit

That's a good one. I guess it means if you strategically choose the right battle, you'll win the war. Or you could run away and come back after the enemy leaves. Or steal the enemy's shoes so they can't chase you.

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talking_heads_90333@reddit

Geordi La Forge: Yeah, well, I told the Captain I'd have this analysis done in an hour.

Scotty: How long will it really take?

Geordi La Forge: An hour!

Scotty: Oh, you didn't tell him how long it would 'really' take, did ya?

Geordi La Forge: Well, of course I did.

Scotty: Oh, laddie. You've got a lot to learn if you want people to think of you as a miracle worker.

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Jam__Hands@reddit

Fucking hell, didn't we have this one last week?

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toroferney@reddit

I’ve not heard that one before, can you explain what it means?

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MunkeeseeMonkeydoo@reddit

That was my old grandma's favourite.

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Maximum-County-1061@reddit

in business 'never rely on one person or one thing'

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Milky_Finger@reddit

"Better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war" and "glory is fleeting but obscurity is eternal".

As someone who has got into running this year and had to deal with a job redundancy, it helped to have a few philosophies to help get me through the tough moments that life threw at me and that I threw onto myself.

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toroferney@reddit

In a choice between guilt and resentment choose guilt every time. Oh and also people are responsible for their own emotions not for you to manage them.

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Efficient-Loquat399@reddit

Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered and nobody was there.

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RedRumsGhost@reddit

My Dad once told me "the world doesn't owe you a living - some things are just unfair and you have to get over that or it will stop you getting anywhere " I didn't really accept this until later in life when I realised what he meant

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doctorbiffgood@reddit

You’re not everyone’s cup of tea.

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Genericusername673@reddit

Can't remember where I read it, was only earlier this year too but:

Nobody is going to do it for you

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bahumat42@reddit

Don't be afraid to be a bit selfish.

Sometimes you need things for you, it might be a cheeky pint or a risky job move but there are things in life you need to do for you even if it might inconvenience others.

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Sardoche320@reddit

“Don’t be an idiot.” Changed my life.

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GlasgowGunner@reddit

Everytime I do something I ask myself “would an idiot do that thing?” And if they would I do not do it.

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CrazyOwlLady75@reddit

When grappling with the decision to end my marriage, my mum simply said "don't worry about the consequences, just make the decision and we'll deal with everything else as it happens". Sage advice that I have used in many aspects of my life since :-)

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jdsuperman@reddit

When grappling with the decision to end my marriage, my mum simply said

Why were you letting your mum make that decision?!

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CrazyOwlLady75@reddit

She didn't make the decision ... her advice empowered me to make it for myself

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_GoBabyGoBabyGo_@reddit

“You don’t owe anybody, anything”.

An old friend said that to me a while ago. I took it to mean that I should do whatever I want, because it’s what I want to do. I shouldn’t pander to others just because it might make them like me, or might make them not feel bad for whatever reason.. I’ll should just do me, and everybody else will be secondary.

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amboandy@reddit

I'll add to this, "nobody owes you anything". In my late teens and early twenties I felt that my intelligence was enough to get me where I wanted to be. It turned out I was where I needed to be. I saw my colleagues get promoted around me and felt I needed to do more than them to achieve what I wanted. My line manager told me that if people ask you to jump through hoops then you either jump through them or fuck off, they're the ones who have the power. That one 30 minute meeting changed my entire outlook on my professional life.

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geezerinblue@reddit

Good luck explaining that to your mortgage provider.

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rositree@reddit

I'm glad you've taken that interpretation and it makes sense with bigger picture stuff - like your life is yours and you can choose to live it in the way that makes you happy or suits your values and morals.

Unfortunately I also see rude and selfish people use it to justify their own poor behaviour and a lack of basic manners or have no sense of civil society where a little politeness makes everybody's day go a bit more smoothly without compromising your life choices.

A similar meaning quote I've heard (not sure who said it first) is 'Other people's opinions of you are none of your business' - just keep doing you, what other people think doesn't matter.

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AngryTudor1@reddit

Nobody can hurt you without your permission.

Really struck home with me. And it's true. People can say anything they like to you or about you, but if you genuinely don't care what they think then it just bounces off. And we care about what far too many people think

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terahurts@reddit

From my motorcycle instructor: 'Assume every other bastard on the road is trying to kill you.' Basically, don't trust that anyone else on the road has seen you/will react correctly/will follow the rules/won't do something stupid. That's probably saved my life more times than I can count, both riding a bike and driving a car, and it's something I told my children when they started to drive.

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Greggybread@reddit

Absolutely. Another one is that "being safe is better than being right". The number of people that tailgate, retaliate, don't let people in etc because they're "right". What does being right matter when it ends in an accident? Especially when you're on two wheels.

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RandomHigh@reddit

Has the same when I did my CBT.

It definitely helped me avoid a few close calls from drivers who changed lanes without indicating.

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HuffyStriker@reddit

Similarly, my driving instructor taught me: "assume other road users don't know how to drive, especially in a car park."

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crikeywotarippa@reddit

Don’t put your fingers where you wouldn’t put your dick. Told to me when I started my apprenticeship. Still valid today 25 years later.

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HuffyStriker@reddit

Guess I'm giving up salt and vinegar crisps

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Baboobalou@reddit

Use your toes..?

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thumbsupchicken@reddit

When dealing with how people are going to react. "Don't go applying logic to the situation"

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jordsta95@reddit

From my father: "Is a penny really worth anything?" I say not really "So, for every £1 you make, put a penny away". I was like 10 at the time. At the time, he wasn't rich but not struggling for cash either. Whereas my mother, whom I lived with primarily, was always struggling for cash.

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J8YDG9RTT8N2TG74YS7A@reddit

Had a similar conversation with my Mum many years ago.

She told me the easiest way to save was to set up a direct debit into another account on the same day my wages went in.

If the money is moved immediately then I won't even notice it is gone and I'll learn to live without it.

I didn't take it seriously until I was 34 and started saving. I'm not exactly rich, but I have a comfortable emergency fund that would pay my bills for several years should anything happen.

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Devilonmytongue@reddit

That education will always be there. You don’t have to have it comepkted in the allocated timeframe. You can always go back to education.

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ByEthanFox@reddit

"The point of sale is not the place to try and elevate the medium."

This was said to me many years ago by someone in the videogame industry. Not someone famous, but someone google-able who probably still works in it, so I'll spare them the attention.

What it means is kinda like, "don't think you're better than the status quo". A good example of this is how YouTubers say "like and subscribe", or how artists ask people to check out their Patreon, or even how the server at Burger King says "you can make that large for 30p more".

These things can irritate some people, but they happen, and people do them, because they work.

When making "content", there can be a lot of personal pressure, sometimes misplaced pride. You can be a YouTuber and think "I'll show them, I won't nag people to subscribe, I've got more dignity than that" and fine, if you wanna do that, go right ahead. See how far you get. I hope you get really far and do well... But you probably won't.

If you're trying to make a paid product (which still applies to things like YouTube where money changes hands, even if you're not charging every viewer), there are countless ways to make your product, or content, excel over that of other people. There are tons of ways you can try and "elevate the medium", to make your work stand out.

But when you go to the customer - when you make that video, when you write the blurb on your Steam game page, when you put together your Amazon listing, when you design your ad for the Yellow Pages, when you make the trailer for your movie... You want the the customer to engage. Once they're engaged, they can find out about all the amazing things you're doing, but if you don't engage them, they never get to find out.

"The point of sale is not the place to try and elevate the medium."

I'm an indie game developer as a hobbyist and this has proved extremely valuable advice to me. My games are unusual, actually kinda obtuse in many ways. They're very niche. I made them to be what I wanted them to be, as it was just a hobby, so I didn't aggressively "write to market" and try to make something really commercially viable.

But when I advertise my games, or when I write their details on Steam, my descriptions are extremely market-friendly and down-to-earth, because that's what gets people engaged.

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Leftleaningdadbod@reddit

My Dad; stay out of gaol.

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Wonderful_Welder_796@reddit

“Don’t panic”

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edfosho1@reddit

"Dress for the job you want, not the job you've got" - this worked well for me during 2013-2018, but no idea how applicable it is now wfh is popular.

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cbawiththismalarky@reddit

> "Dress for the job you want, not the job you've got"

This worked for me so many times at the beginning of my career

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Tigercrys@reddit

“All you can do is grow” struck me quite a bit. I’m always afraid of making mistakes and hurting others, and sometimes I have without even realising it. What’s happened has happened, and all I can do is grow :)

There’s probably so much more to it, and I do struggle thinking what’s my mistake, and what isn’t (i have recently found since my ex left me), but as of right now, just trying to be the person I would want in my life (romantically or as a friend) is helping me get on despite how hard it is to pick myself back up again

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hattorihanzo5@reddit

"Your trauma isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility."

We all go through shit. We all have bad things happen. Some of us have truly terrible things happen to us.

Unfortunately, the only person who can make things better is you.

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Bubbly_Cauliflower40@reddit

Never eat a pound of shit just to taste an ounce of sugar.

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Creative-Tomorrow-54@reddit

Wrap your tool don't be a fool. 31 with no kids, loving every single day of live, financially stable and doing whatever the fuck I want to do.

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LagerBitterCider197@reddit

Never take a knife to a gunfight

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Beanotown@reddit

How about a spoon?

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Jolly_Constant_4913@reddit

Only if you're planning on eating liver later

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Beanotown@reddit

You've not played knifey spoony before then?

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Jolly_Constant_4913@reddit

Let's just say a spoon may deflect bullets in a fight but you'd better be damned lucky

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HuffyStriker@reddit

See you've played knifey-spooney before

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BassplayerDad@reddit

Treat people as you would like to be treated

It takes strength to be gentle & kind is another.

Both just stuck with me

Two for one.

Good luck out there

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WebDevWarrior@reddit

Does a quote count as advice? If so Alice Mackenzie Swaim once said:

Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.

I don't know why, I find it a really lovely expression of standing up to adversity. As someone who has been through a lot of shit in my life, I need that kind of energy.

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numputu@reddit

A wise nurse once told me "When you go into hospital for surgery, you leave your dignity at the door and then pick it back up again on your way home."

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Rumple-Wank-Skin@reddit

When I was young I was eager to impress at work and would volunteer to do any and all jobs. This resulted in me having loads of responsibility with no title or pay associated.

My manager said to me the wisest way to get ahead was to be quite and do what I was allocated very well.

Now unless it's specifically stated or I'm paid extra I just do what's allocated. I still do well and impress with work quality but I no longer have added unpaid stress

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Captain_Kruch@reddit

I used to agree to any job that was asked of me at work, because I wanted to be helpful and secretly thought it would be looked upon favourably by management should a promotion become available. Then when I was passed over for said promotion and realised they didn't give a sh#t about the fact that I worked my ass off, I stopped being so helpful.

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JT_3K@reddit

Weirdly I find it’s the opposite in IT. Take every opportunity you’re able to and you’ll polish your CV beautifully. It’s worked well for me over the last 20yrs, albeit it’s been a slog.

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Rumple-Wank-Skin@reddit

There is always an exception to the rule. Sometimes it's best to get as much experience as you can to then jump ship.

In my example I was working as dive master. I ended up incharge of equipment maintenance and fixing boats along with my standard job of organising and leading dive expeditions. It was brutal and once I had taken over charge of the other jobs it was basically impossible to stop without looking like an arsehole

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funkkay@reddit

The very best colleagues I’ve had are people who just do their job. They don’t have to do anything else.

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forfar4@reddit

My father said something similar, but he added that if you take on extra unpaid work no one will value your efforts until you stop doing it - then they will blame you for not doing the work which was never actually yours in the first place. Lose/lose.

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Useful-Put-5836@reddit

Everyone is winging it.

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TheToolman04@reddit

When my wife was expecting our first, everyone had their 2 pennies to put in. One person gave me the best advice of "Don't listen to anyone else, you will learn your new normal best, you will learn how your child works", paraphrasing his actual advice but that was the gist of it.

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RadiantCrow8070@reddit

"Stop being arsed"

I did indeed stop being arsed

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ErskineLoyal@reddit

My mother told me to stop being a people pleaser and put myself first more often. I was always going along with things that I didn't really enjoy just to keep the peace and other people happy. That led to a lot of boring, miserable days and nights for me, even holidays. Now I don't commit to anything I don't want to. Life's simpler and happier that way. Thanks, mum..❤️

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readers_wives@reddit

"Never stick your cock somewhere you wouldn't first stick your face"

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Taf2499@reddit

I have two:

Almost no job is worth your mental well-being.

You don't need a degree to succeed in life.

After covid I quit medicine, went into IT, now 2 1/2 years later I'm going back to the medical sector but I'm going in to construct reportsn, analyse data and report real time on what's happening.

I never went to uni, I studied medicine on the job as you could at the time (pharmacy technician) took me 2 years, 2 years after qualifying (6 years out of 6th form) i was in charge of 180 services medicines needs and regularly working with board members and senior players within the geographical region.

Mate of mine missed uni, he went on to be ops lead in a big mortgage company earning 70k at 24. He's now in tech and earning the same as that with less stress working from home.

You can do it. It's possible.

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Choice-Nothing-5084@reddit

When overtaking, only change the lane when you can see the other vehicle in your middle mirror.

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thehibachi@reddit

“There’s no such thing as a near miss”

Obviously there is absolutely such a thing, but the idea is that it’s a complete waste of time and energy to dwell upon and be dragged down by things that nearly went wrong.

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tacticall0tion@reddit

My philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twice - NewtbScamander

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LordEmostache@reddit

"Greyhound don't float on water"

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Jolly_Constant_4913@reddit

From an old anonymous Arab sheikh i saw on an fb reel:

Let things go. Don't jump on every single issue like a cat does. 8/10 just let it go

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Jolly_Constant_4913@reddit

You can't change other people but you can change your reaction to them

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Polz34@reddit

It was at work 'never assume' and it's so true, the amount of mistakes or disagreements that happen because someone has assumed one thing, and has been incorrect.

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stanley15@reddit

I used to work on IT projects and it was standard practice to make a list of all assumptions and verify them. More often than not they led to extra work for the project due to being half true of plain wrong.

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ASY_Freddy@reddit

and this is why AI will never replace developers

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Polz34@reddit

I think folks forget that the human element always confuses things more, the amount of time I've thought 'well they mean this' but actually then discover they are thinking something completely different. I work with a lot of engineers and they do have very unique minds, super smart but often lacking in common sense, so the obvious just isn't obvious!

Mind boggles!

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Toon_1892@reddit

You'll make an ass of u and me.

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Minimum_Leopard_2698@reddit

There’s no point sacrificing your health for something like work because when you go to the other side, work certainly won’t be there

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mang0_milkshake@reddit

From my counsellor: "pay attention to the negative thoughts in your head. If they're in your mother's voice, those aren't worth listening to."

I came from an abusive household, and now as an adult I'm VERY hard on myself and can't trust my own thoughts and feelings, always putting myself down. That was the best advice I've ever been given, and was the gateway into learning how to believe in myself, put myself first, and allow myself to enjoy things without feeling like I'm never doing enough. It is honestly the BEST advice I've ever been given.

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ThatSignificance5824@reddit

needed to hear this today, thankyou

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peanutskie123@reddit (OP)

Glad it hit at the right time! Take it easy! Take care.

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ThatSignificance5824@reddit

your dad sounds like a wonderful chap- you're very lucky to have a father like him (although I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that)

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Shoddy_Reality8985@reddit

Pain is certain; suffering is optional.

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GhostPantherNiall@reddit

“Would you survive in prison? No? Then don’t do stuff that will get you put in prison”. A drug taking alcoholic told me that.

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schmoovebaby@reddit

My mum is a retired infant school teacher and she always advises me to make sure my daughter has a growth mindset, ie abilities can develop over time with practice as opposed to being fixed with no room for improvement which I think is a good thing to bear in mind.

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jj198handsy@reddit

There are no stupid questions on stupid people who don't ask questions.

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revolut1onname@reddit

If you're getting up with a baby, get up. Don't sit and clock watch, just get up and get used to the fact you're up. My son would wake up, feed and then go back to sleep but it would take him up to an hour to settle. As such, I'd softly move him to his pod on the sofa next to me then stick on a youtube video or something whilst blocking the light from his face, until he was completely chilled. Made my life so much easier compared to the clock-watching I was doing in the first few weeks.

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weirdchili@reddit

Make a spreadsheet of all necessary expenses and work out a budget. Keep some money for personal spending. About 3 - 6 months emergency fund in case of job loss. Budget some for personal spending. Rest of it, chuck into a Stocks and Shares ISA and invest in global equity index funds and leave it in there until retirement (25 years or so). Also max out pensions contributions to match what my employer will put in as a max amount (6% each). Pensions increase works out an extra £40ish a month from me and same from my employer. Include the interest and growth rates and it turns into a huge difference.

Before the spreadsheet, we just kind of spent money on whatever, unnecessary stuff, never increased our savings amount. After the sheet, we are investing about £1000 a month, looking at what is necessary to spend money on and what is not. Makes you think about how much money we were actually spending a month, just on things like takeaways, buying lunch at work and going to the off licence for a fizzy drink and some snacks.

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Alive_Tell5085@reddit

Don't go ninja'ing nobody that don't need no ninja'ing.

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LondonCycling@reddit

Don't eat yellow snow.

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discodave333@reddit

It's only life. We all get through it.

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ArumtheLily@reddit

Don't eat yellow snow - sage advice carved into a desk at school.

Buy your own drinks, smoke your own fags, and get yer own arse home - my dad. As a woman, that was incredibly important advice.

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Not-That_Girl@reddit

My dad died 6 years ago. I can still feel his love and support, sile try in the background

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Jughead_91@reddit

“It’s more important to spend your days doing something you care about and enjoy, than always looking to a future that might never come.”

I live by that, for better or worse.

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peanutskie123@reddit (OP)

Nice, I like this also! It's such a great reminder to focus on what truly matters in the present. I'll keep this in mind.

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ThatstheTahiCo@reddit

Lick the top and poke the bottom.

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INSERT-SHAME-HERE@reddit

Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue does it.

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Affectionate_Hour867@reddit

This isn’t great advice but I always think of it. When you make a tea, coffee or other hot drink amd stir the contents at the end if you stirred anti clockwise my Great Grandad would always say “don’t stir it the wrong way you’re undoing everything” and he always stirred clockwise!

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FlyComprehensive1576@reddit

I wouldn't say this was advice, but my dad always quoted the same thing when I got betrayed or lost trust in a friend. He also said something his head teacher used to say

'Lord, protect me from my friends, for i know who my enemies are'

We're not a religious family, so that makes me laugh that he says it, but it's so true.

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peanutskie123@reddit (OP)

It's funny how stuff like that sticks even if you're not religious. Your dad is right, sometimes it's the people closest to us who can hurt us the most.

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FlyComprehensive1576@reddit

It's crazy cos when stuff happens I can hear him in my head saying it. And yep, i have been caught a couple of times by those I felt closest too. So always learning the hard way

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peanutskie123@reddit (OP)

It's like his words became a part of your inner voice. At least those lessons from him tend to stick, right?

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FantasticWeasel@reddit

You don't unlearn life lessons.

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SoiledGrundies@reddit

‘I’m not going to be sad because he wouldn’t have wanted me to be’

My best mate the day after his father died.

Obviously I still grieved but I held his advice close when both my parents died.

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