Anon needs to hire an escort

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HotWings995@reddit

Dumbass anon shoul've said cortana lives on a different continent and can't come because of work

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Touhou_Fever@reddit

OP has the opportunity to do something amazing if they can convince a cosplayer

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Bland-fantasie@reddit

The ultimate indignity is when 100% of all attendees over the age of 13 will know her job after one glance.

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jak_parsons_project@reddit

You get shitty escorts bro

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baylithe@reddit

Bro never watched >!The Menu!<

Soft spoiler to a good movie from the 2 years ago.

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nowadit@reddit

I hated that movie so much lmao

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Amlik@reddit

same lol. dont get the hype around it

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vaderman645@reddit

Wait what did I miss something in that movie

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Jermz12345@reddit

The main character is an escort, it’s actually a pretty important plot detail as the chef sees her as another person who’s life is about service

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Cabra42@reddit

Good movie, but God damn I hated that ending

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KingofRheinwg@reddit

Did you hate Citizen Kane too?

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Cabra42@reddit

I said GOOD movie. I enjoyed it. Not the ending, but overall it was good.

Things can be enjoyed in parts. And I haven't watched citizen Kane out of spite for pedantic cinephiles.

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Nicktendo1988@reddit

That burger did look ace, though.

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Cabra42@reddit

It really did, I saw it when the movie came out and still haven't forgotten

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hundenkattenglassen@reddit

Down bad to whores ❌

Escort connoisseur ✅

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HiveMindKing@reddit

So he stlll has a chance with the other ones?

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Darth_Syphilisll@reddit

No only perverts who visit escorts or jack off to escort ads would know. And they're not gonna say shit

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LasyKuuga@reddit

Hope Anon doesn’t bump into his exs Alexa and Siri

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LurksInThePines@reddit

Or his high school bully, Clippy

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Snort_Viking@reddit

And we can’t forget the comic relief Bonzi Buddy

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reallynunyabusiness@reddit

Or his jealous lover Bixby.

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Gearski@reddit

Bixbys a guy too, really complicates the romcom

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ExamOld2899@reddit

You know what, hire 3 escorts and have them fight for your attention. Might as well

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Reddit_Sux_Big-Time@reddit

$600... and you get to bang?

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Raccoonooo@reddit

People actually use Cortana??!

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Ssyynnxx@reddit

This was in 2018

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AlphaMassDeBeta@reddit

Nobody used Cortana ever.

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Reasonable-Towel6225@reddit

I didn’t use that shit back then either tho

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Livid_Luck@reddit

Always thought it was infected.

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IrregularrAF@reddit

Used it on my Xbox all the time. Shame they did away with it.

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noah9942@reddit

Cortana sucked there too.

The built in commands with the kinect were awesome though.

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Ssyynnxx@reddit

Me neither but ik a few people who did

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LostInTheSauce34@reddit

I thought it was always a meme.

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ForumsDwelling@reddit

Of course. She's essential to Master Chief

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YourAverageGod@reddit

Master chief was the ultimate simp

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SpartanAlaska@reddit

You take that back

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WeekendBard@reddit

"People" (4channer)

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loscapos5@reddit

I used to back in the day, but Microsoft restricted to english only installations of Windows, so I couldn't even bother to reinstall everything

And no; it didn't work with a language pack installation.

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animorphs128@reddit

Pretend shes sick

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Alexandre_Man@reddit

Just bring no one

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MatiZabujca@reddit

plot twist: +1 refers to OP's chromosome count

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Tsuku@reddit

I smell a sitcom!

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DonkeyKongaLongDonga@reddit

Just be a 7 foot tall Spartan wearing armor and say she’s in my head right now

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Illustrious-Back-944@reddit (OP)

Uhm ackschyually he’s 6’10. he’s only 7’2 in his armour 🤓

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WeekendBard@reddit

Chief wearing high heels 👠 💅

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Illustrious-Back-944@reddit (OP)

Master Queef

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AimanAbdHakim@reddit

Bro couldve just said that she couldnt make it

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mymemesnow@reddit

Yeah, anon is stupid.

I lie to not seem lonely to my family all the time like a sane person.

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