ULPT Request: How do I leave the hospital without a friend or family member to pick me up?

[-]

donkeyrifle@reddit

There are medical cab services. Many hospitals (including the one I work for) will allow discharge with one of these services.

[-]

Been through this twice. I tell them that my ride canceled and so I have to take an Uber. They try to say I can't leave but then I ask if I am being detained. When they say no I leave. End of story. Staff will try to force you to stay by saying if you leave they will be held liable for any damages you do. Do not listen to them. Leave. Make sure to not let them know you don't have a ride before your appointment. They will deny you.

[-]

NotTheGreenestThumb@reddit

Call your local Senior Citizen Center, those people are a wealth of information, and a person doesn’t even have to be old to take advantage of it!

They may not be able to provide the service, but they will know who can.

Sorry for this ethical help!

[-]

iamarealboy69420@reddit

BOO THIS MAN AND HIS GOOD, ETHICAL ADVICE!

BOOOOOOOOO

[-]

NotTheGreenestThumb@reddit

If it helps any—I’m a woman!

[-]

sarcasticlovely@reddit

this is the answer. I just started working for an ambulance dispatch company, so most of our patients are old people. and there are different types of transports we do depending on the patient. if someone is ambulatory, which means able to walk by themselves, we can send a normal SUV with a driver with basic first aid skills instead of the whole SCT ambulance with an actual paramedic or nurse. and there's a bunch of other levels between those for different situations.

and senior centers are a great wealth of resources and information. if you leave it up to the hospital, you get private companies like I now work for who charge ridiculous amounts because it's the US and the insurance industry has fucked us all over. yes, the SUV is cheaper than the box truck, but a $1000 dollar transport and a $4000 dollar transport are both still insanely expensive. the senior center will have a list of everybody that does these types of transports and which one is the cheapest or accepted by your insurance or whatever. they may even have a find-a-driver program that'll hook you up with a random local person who is able to do it in their spare time for either no or a low cost.

[-]

Aveideli@reddit

or get a senior citizen from said center to come with you

[-]

lewdpotatobread@reddit

Rent a Grandpa

[-]

Hot-Win2571@reddit

This being ULPT... Hire an escort for a day.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

That would make it a unique & unethical experience. Not sure where or how to find one though.

[-]

Hot-Win2571@reddit

Left as an exercise for the reader.
If your procedure takes longer than four hours, see a doctor.

[-]

Silveroo81@reddit

Fuck asking for help.

Tell staff Uncle Roney is meeting you in the lobby.

Then later “oh he’s late”.

Then just jet.

[-]

scienceizfake@reddit

Post in a local group or Nextdoor. Offer something like $50-100.

[-]

pohlcat01@reddit

Or Ring app.

[-]

uvasag@reddit

I see posts like these on nextdoor all the time. So many kind people willing to help as well.

[-]

pohlcat01@reddit

There has to be services for this kind of stuff.

[-]

axel0914@reddit

I've had this problem. For an endoscopy for food impaction, I was told this then left the hospital alone and took an Uber. For the planned one to make sure the meds were working at an out clinic thing, they made sure I had someone with me. But ask about their social worker or something, they should be able to help. Ifk about cost.

[-]

ElsieDCow@reddit

I face the same problem. I've decided that if I can't get the testing done on my own then I wouldn't be able to treat the disease on my own. Might as well not know and just let it take me.

[-]

timswife716@reddit

I hope you stay well. Hugs. 🤗

[-]

_male_man@reddit

What part of the country are you located in?

[-]

daph1217@reddit

When I had to have my wisdom teeth removed, same deal. I didn’t have any family and my friends were unavailable during the pickup time. My coworker very generously agreed to pick me up and drop me off at home and that’s what I did. I’m super grateful for her - even 14 years later! All I’m saying, OP, is don’t underestimate that the people around you are willing to help, regardless of “closeness”. Sometimes receiving help is more powerful than offering help in cresting closer connections.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

Great point. For those of us with unreliable / unavailable friends and family, that’s a whole life lesson in itself.

[-]

Dumpsterfire013@reddit

They aren't LE , get up and walk out. You might have to insist, but really , who's to stop you .

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

They can’t. I’ll slide outta there one way or another.

[-]

NinjaBilly55@reddit

Find a homeless person on the street and give them a few bucks to hang out..

[-]

InstructionNo4290@reddit

Could you inquire how long it would take for you to be able to drive again? If only a few hours maybe you can bring a laptop and some snacks and hang out in the lobby for a little while. People do this all the time waiting for family to finish up with surgeries etc. so you wouldn’t seem out of place at all. Most hospitals also have a cafe you could sit in.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

That could work. I’ll ask!

[-]

BeefSupreme__@reddit

We tell people not to drive for the rest of the day if it's a TEE with propofol.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

I don’t really care about the driving part. I just want to do the procedure and then leave. An Uber/ Lyft would be preferred.

[-]

f1ve-Star@reddit

The problem with this is they likely will not do the procedure until your DD shows up and is waiting. They cannot release a drugged up person to an unknown person, like Uber. You are "high as a kite" and not able to be a consenting sane adult till the next day.

And if it's for a colonoscopy.......your ass is already tender.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

LMAO. Did you see the comment on here about the guy who rode his bike home after a colonoscopy? Wild!

[-]

panda3096@reddit

It's definitely a "Jesus take the wheel" risk. I was told I couldn't be left alone for 24 hours because complications could arise during that time. It's a CYA thing for the hospital, because they (the hospital admins) would love to take your money and not give a flying hoot, but the lawyers said that it only takes 1 for that to become an expensive mistake.

[-]

selkieflying@reddit

I had absolutely zero discomfort after my colonoscopy. Are you supposed to?

[-]

67alecto@reddit

It's more about the lingling effects of the anesthesia

[-]

kkkkk1018@reddit

Without a seat!

[-]

I_Need_A_Fork@reddit

I used Uber to get home after my back surgery, hit or miss if the hospital allows it.

[-]

MissO56@reddit

my sister-in-law did that! crazy!

[-]

kaiser-so-say@reddit

Omg you got me and my coffee

[-]

MongooseDog001@reddit

I don't actually recommend you get an Uber or Lyft, but if you don't tell them how will they know? The hospital or clinic just doesn't want the liability. It can't be that much riskier then getting an Uber from a bar.

Just message them that they should tell the CNA bringing you out that you are their friend and they are picking you up, and you will tip well if they do. Don't bring any cash or cards in your wallet, and give them a good tip in the app at the end.

I picked my husband up after a colonoscopy and no one asked either of us any questions.

Really though, you should use medical transport for your own safety

[-]

Biolobri14@reddit

Sometimes they will require your ride home be with you before they start the procedure. It can be a liability to release you when you’re not fully alert

[-]

ilbub@reddit

If this is the case, post a Craigslist gig ad for this role. Bonus points if they are an Uber/Lyft driver, so you can verify them and have documentation that they transported you (not for the hospital, but for your safety).

[-]

JesZebro@reddit

I had surgery a week ago and they required someone there and gave them a bracelet, pulled him in to give instructions, and then called him when it was time to pull up the car. IDK if this is standard, but I don’t know a way I could have gotten around all that 🤷🏻‍♀️

[-]

HippolytusOfAthens@reddit

I recently drove my father home after surgery in the USA. I had to sign in with him and show my license. I also had to remain on the premises for the entire time.

[-]

mar__iguana@reddit

Wherever you are, maybe you can post on the city’s Reddit and ask for a favor. I’m sure there’s someone willing and able to show up for a while to walk you in and wait till you get out. Walk out with them and call an Uber at the corner if you don’t want to inconvenience them more for a ride. Of course if you’re able to, give them something for their time

[-]

Least-Back-2666@reddit

"I'm leaving AMA(against medical advice)."

Hospitals can not hold you hostage unless you're being 5150'd for mental illness.

[-]

daph1217@reddit

AFAIK, most insurances won’t cover procedure/services if you leave AMA.

[-]

kaiser-so-say@reddit

They won’t start the procedure in many cases without verification

[-]

notmynaturalcolor@reddit

This is 100% it here

[-]

Corfiz74@reddit

Don't they accept an Uber or cab reservation?

[-]

Kathucka@reddit

I ran into a similar situation. Someone has to show up with you, or you’re not getting the procedure.

[-]

cake_piss_can@reddit

This is correct. I get procedures done for my heart and you absolutely need someone to accompany you as a driver or they will call it off.

[-]

lavasca@reddit

Medical transport services. You can even charge it to insurance.

[-]

Street-Baseball8296@reddit

Now you’ve got me wondering how I can be a “medical transport” and charge my insurance to give my wife a ride home from the hospital.

[-]

lavasca@reddit

Look up the actual services and see what licensing they have

[-]

Either_Cupcake_5396@reddit

We do.

[-]

Unique-Ad-9316@reddit

You do what???

[-]

freedinthe90s@reddit

Could you pay a neighbor? Post your need to your neighborhood social media pages?

If not, a service like Task Rabbit may be a last resort.

[-]

2occupantsandababy@reddit

Man last time I had surgery they discharged me, rolled me in a wheelchair out to the curb, then left me there and went back inside.

They can't force you to stay there. It's not prison. Just walk out. Get your rideshare.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

I had a similar experience after going to the ER a long time ago. Just dumped me on the curb and were on their way after some pretty traumatic shit. For some reason this current hospital seems to be really uptight about their discharge policies. I'm sure it's less about my wellbeing and all about not being legally liable, obviously.

[-]

2occupantsandababy@reddit

Let them be upset as you walk out.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

100% One way or another I’ll be leaving that place.

[-]

milliemaywho@reddit

That happened to my ex husband. Dumped on the curb with un set broken bones and paper clothes on because they cut off his clothes.

Where are you located? If you’re near me, I’ll drive you.

[-]

Bornagainchola@reddit

Call an Uber. Text them and tell them you will pay them extra to come in and pretend they know you. I did this after my colonoscopy.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

Smart!

[-]

SubBass49Tees@reddit

If you tell them you're homeless, they'll gladly put you out on the street. It's a whole thing.

Saddest true statement I've posted to Reddit.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

It is sad. Be well.

[-]

Shibi_SF@reddit

I knew someone who needed someone to pick her up from the hospital after a procedure and total anesthesia. She booked a taxi or a car hire ahead of time and arranged for the driver to come in and act like her relative. He was able to sign her out of the hospital and she went home to recover.

[-]

yankeecandle1@reddit

I took an uber home from a week in the hospital. Told the hospital a friend was picking me up. They didn't know it was an uber.

[-]

muralist@reddit

I would find ask the reason. If it makes sense to you, ask them to suggest a medical car service. But…How would they even know it’s a rideshare? Just tell them your Uncle Lenny is coming to get you. Would anyone from the practitioner’s office actually accompany you to the street to check and even if they did, would they really question and stop you from getting in?

[-]

haligolightly@reddit

For the procedures I've had (three different hospitals), you have to provide the staff with the name and phone number of your family member / trusted friend. When you're ready for discharge, they call your ride and have them come to the floor to escort you to their car. They also have to sign a form accepting responsibility for care over the next 12 - 24 hours.

[-]

Dreamsnaps19@reddit

Ok but seriously what are they going to do if no one shows. They can’t legally force you to stay without a court order. And they can’t exactly put you on a psych hold because you don’t have someone to take you home.

[-]

haligolightly@reddit

They'll cancel the procedure and rebook when you have someone to assist.

[-]

Dreamsnaps19@reddit

So according to your statement, when you’re ready for discharge they call your ride, so how are they going to find out until they’re done?

[-]

haligolightly@reddit

You have to provide the contact information when you register for the procedure. I think my contact had to be there when I checked in but am not 100% sure.

[-]

Either_Cupcake_5396@reddit

They call before you go in.

[-]

Either_Cupcake_5396@reddit

It’s true.

[-]

muralist@reddit

If they feel you should not be alone for the next 12-24 hours, which is not what OP described, that’s very different. In that case I’d arrange to do the procedure when a family member could travel and be available.

[-]

Nathan-Stubblefield@reddit

A surgeon told me about a brother and sister who took time off work to help elderly mom get her knee replacement, and hang around for sone days after. On the big day, her son made mom a big breakfast, because it important to have a Big Breakfast on her Big Day. She told the nurse about the breakfast, 4 hours before the scheduled surgery, instead of “no food after midnight,” and the surgeon told her to reschedule for another date, which would be weeks away since he was booked up.

[-]

muralist@reddit

Oh no! Good thing she told them, though!

[-]

haligolightly@reddit

The OP will be sedated, which is one of the most common reasons a trusted friend or family member is needed. Clinics tend to require the info in advance. If it isn't provided, the procedure will be rescheduled.

[-]

pinkponyroan@reddit

When my dad got his cataract surgery, they literally walked him to the car door to make sure I was there lol.

[-]

muralist@reddit

Did they check to make sure you weren’t an uber though? (Though even had you been, how could they prevent him from leaving with you? A patient is not a prisoner.)

[-]

pinkponyroan@reddit

No but they already knew who I was from coming in at the beginning of the appointment. They asked him beforehand if he had someone to drive him home and he pointed to me and said yeah my kid. They wouldn't let him check in before knowing I or someone was there. Same with everyone else.

[-]

muralist@reddit

They were taking good care of your dad, whose bision was compromised, making sure he got in the right car. (And making sure not to put themselves at risk of a lawsuit in case he tried to pull some stunt like driving himself.) But OP’s situation is not cataracts. I’d find out the reason and go from there.

[-]

pinkponyroan@reddit

I know it will vary for each situation, I just wanted to give my example because it's a possibility they may do the same for OP. I just wouldn't rule out that they may try to check if his ride is someone he knows.

[-]

notmynaturalcolor@reddit

Trying looking up medical transport companies in your area, this is something most of them do.

You could also look for a local home care type service. Or maybe on care.com to see if you can have someone come get you

[-]

Greeneggsandmandy@reddit

Nurse here, most of the time it isn’t about the ride but about having someone around to keep an eye on you. Anesthesia has risks, and it’s good to have someone that might notice if you have a problem.

That said, I’ve cared for patients who need outpatient procedures with no ride who stay the night and discharge in the morning, when they can drive themselves.

[-]

Lonely_Coast1400@reddit

Usually they make the driver “sign” so Uber unlikely to do this. Maybe pay a teenager or neighbor

[-]

JazzyCher@reddit

I saw from another comment that you plan to Uber or Lyft home once discharged. Go in for the procedure, say you have a ride home (not a lie, you'll have an uber), and after the procedure request to be discharged against medical advice. They cannot hold you without your consent. Even if you're a little groggy and tired, as long as you're fully coherent, they cannot force you to stay in any capacity.

Signed- a current EMT who has allowed multiple severely injured/sick people to leave my care at their own insistence because they were still fully coherent and did not want to be transported.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

Good to know! Thanks!

[-]

pluginfembot@reddit

Hire medical transport. Or opt for no sedation.

[-]

molivergo@reddit

From personal experience.

Wait the suggested time to ensure no major health issues. They will want a person and phone number to call; have someone that’ll lie for you.

When the time comes, walk out the door without the medical staff noticing.

I very much discourage driving. The drugs they give you take a day or so to get out of your system.

[-]

Shitp0st_Supreme@reddit

Is there a hospital social worker? They can likely get you a ride home.

[-]

Sad_Pepper_5252@reddit

Be aware that in some cases the hospital will expect to see a sober responsible person at your bedside in the recovery room in order to release you. They can’t hold you indefinitely but they may try to keep you longer (basically until all the drugs are out of your system) if you don’t have anyone with you.

[-]

cville5588@reddit

You can literally walk out. It isn't a jail.

[-]

BigMackMoney11@reddit

Just say you have a ride and then as soon as you wake up wobble out to the parking lot and drive home, hit everything in the way. 😂😂😂 Or just say you have a ride and sit there and nap until you feel better. Then just say your ride cancelled or something what are they gonna do lock you in.

[-]

SnooSnooSnuSnu@reddit

I literally had to cancel a surgery because of this (about a year ago now, still haven't gotten it).

Apparently single people are just supposed to die.

[-]

FuckTheMods5@reddit

It sucks, i had to reschedule a colonoscopy. I couldn't even hang out and sit in the waiting room OR my car to recover. I even offered to give them my keys so they know I won't drive. A taxi doesn't work. NOTHING.

I HAD to have a buddy, and they HAD to be there, and HAD to wait for me in the witing room. Pretty horse shit.

[-]

robotic_dreams@reddit

I just had my first colonoscopy last week. They supplied an insurance covered LYFT ride to and from the procedure. It was standard protocol for them. A nurse walked out with me to make sure I got picked up and that was that.

What do they think you'll do? Attack the driver as soon as you're in and command control of the vehicle?

[-]

jjjjjjj30@reddit

I could be wrong but I assumed they're more concerned with the patient being assaulted or taken advantage of by the strangerdriver.

[-]

cjw7x@reddit

They told me it's because the Uber driver won't walk you to your door to make sure you get in the house ok.

[-]

robotic_dreams@reddit

Hmmm. I could see that. Thankfully my middle aged ass doesn't have this issue.

[-]

Lost-Village-1048@reddit

I found a doctor that would do a colonoscopy without general anesthesia. But I still needed a ride.

[-]

FuckTheMods5@reddit

The issue at my facility was that the driver had to be there all morning, half the day. I couldn't just hire a driver.

[-]

robotic_dreams@reddit

That's a bummer. And also a bit strange to me. So they need to be there for your entire procedure in case of a medical emergency or something? "He's seizing from the anesthesia! Get the driver scrubbed in here STAT!"

[-]

FuckTheMods5@reddit

Lmao i guess they had problems with people being abandoned?? No idea. I begged with every permutation i could think of, but was strictly denied.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

Ooof! Yeah that's horse shit indeed! Like hospital jail.

[-]

HoxhasDeadbeatDad@reddit

Go to local bar / pub. Buy a couple of drinks for the drunk who is there every day. Get to know him.

Show up next day. Pretend like you've known said drunk your whole life by talking to him about all the shit he told you the day before. Ask him if he's still planning to go with you to your surgery.

Make sure to drive so he can't leave without you and keep your keys. Bonus points if you can sneak him in some alcohol so he stays put.

The town drunks are more useful than people want to believe.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

This is 100% how I feel! It’s already stressful enough dealing with medical shit, then to get reminded that I’m single af is another kick to the balls.

[-]

Realistic_Jello_2038@reddit

I would talk to the hospital social worker. Maybe there are organizations that help with this. Wishing you luck and s speedy recovery 🙏 ❤️

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

I'll chat with them. And thanks!

[-]

SnooSnooSnuSnu@reddit

Seriously. "You need someone to stay with you for 24 hours." Oh, alright, I'll just hire someone for the night and have her sleep on the floor.

[-]

Just-Brilliant-7815@reddit

They don’t really care if someone will be with you for 24 hours - they just want you to acknowledge that you’ll have someone with you (whether it’s true it not). All you need is someone present during the procedure who will take the post op instructions. Whether that someone drops you off at home to never see you again isn’t what they’re focused.

[-]

Nathan-Stubblefield@reddit

Money would get you medical transport and a private-duty nurse, or two taking turns.

[-]

dahlia_74@reddit

I feel you, I haven’t been able to even schedule my oral surgery. I’ve looked into some options but nothing so far is going to work out. Like what am I supposed to do?

[-]

Griffinej5@reddit

Yup. Sorry. You don’t have a person available who can take a day of PTO to take you and babysit for the next day. Well fuck you. Stay in pain or whatever your problem is. Or fuck you if you have a person who could maybe give you a ride, but they can’t afford to take a day off work. One of the few reasons I have a marriage of convenience. My wife needs off to take me to surgery and babysit me after. She can use her sick leave for that. Not so much if she needs to take her friend.

[-]

Loose-Brother4718@reddit

Same same.

[-]

DecentNeighborSept20@reddit

Ask a rando outside to say they're your driver.

[-]

zuziep@reddit

I'm not sure about your area, but there are medical transport services that can do something like this.

[-]

Critical-Snow-7000@reddit

That sounds expensive

[-]

zuziep@reddit

I'm not sure about cost, but it's called a medical or healthcare escort.

[-]

Wildcat_Dunks@reddit

Just don't leave your credit card statement laying around for people to see with a charge for services from the escorts.

[-]

zuziep@reddit

I expected a joke, but not one so elegant. Take my upvote.

[-]

Least-Back-2666@reddit

It's called Uber

[-]

whooobaby@reddit

Sometimes insurance will pay

[-]

violetjezebel@reddit

I had to use it after my surgery. It was twenty bucks from the hospital to my house.

[-]

hazel247@reddit

So in my fairly rural local area we have a service called LINK who do exactly this! Worth calling your local surgery to check how older patients get to and from appointments

[-]

evilbrent@reddit

It's not like they're going to check.

Just be safe.

[-]

SlightMrsGuidance@reddit

It's hard to say, in Ontario I wasn't allowed to leave my bed to get ready to leave until my driver checked in (after a colonoscopy...and no, my ass was not tender...it also ain't that stretchy so not sure what everyone else is on about) the sedation type was unknown.

In BC a month ago I was sedated on ketamine and told I needed a ride...which I didnt have at 4am when the ER was releasing me but they let me just walk on out of there so I just took an uber home. These jackals never even told me before they k-holed me that it was expected I have a ride arranged. After 9 hours in emerg I prob woulda fought them to get out of there if they hadn't been so absent minded.

You really won't know how strict they are until you are already there and probably done with your procedure.

[-]

loose-bussy@reddit

Bruh you really think a nurse is gonna fight you? Just stand up and start walking

[-]

Weird-Breakfast-7259@reddit

I tell them , I'll wait at the door for my ride, get wheeled to the door, wait a few a I'm d drive home

[-]

TolMera@reddit

You can always discharge yourself, but it’s inadvisable.

There tends to be provisions for people who don’t have accompanying friends and family, like staying longer in the hospital, or hospital provided shuttle services.

Worst case, just discharge yourself after the procedure - they can’t imprison you because you don’t have a support network in place.

[-]

luvlynn1@reddit

No, but SOME insurance will charge you for the whole visit/procedure if you discharge yourself...

[-]

generalraptor2002@reddit

Research medical transportation services in your area

It’ll cost you but it should do the job

[-]

_Cartizard@reddit

Just walk out when nobody is looking. Get an uber ride home if you need to.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

This is definitely an option I’ve been thinking about.

[-]

BelieveBelieves@reddit

If your place is like mine, my ride had to check in before the procedure and confirm they were taking me home and then had to check in again when it was time for me to leave.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

Right. This is also something I've been thinking might happen.

[-]

chairmanghost@reddit

Thats how mine was, and the person isnt alowed to leave the waiting area. Tgey have to check in with you and out. Me and my x husband traded i was his person and he was mine. But yeah, it sucks.

[-]

_Cartizard@reddit

It's not like they are going to have guards run after you and drag you back in like you are an escaped convict.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

Ha seriously! Hospital prison life sentence for not having friends.

[-]

Kathucka@reddit

They aren’t letting you in unless someone is already there when you check in.

[-]

_Cartizard@reddit

Remember when you used to hire the drunk guy in front of the liquor store to buy you a bottle when you were in high school? Well, you know where I'm going with this.

[-]

YoureSoOutdoorsy@reddit

I’ve seen patients who have to stay overnight because they don’t have a ride. Is that an option?

[-]

NightHawkFliesSolo@reddit

After the procedure spray liquid ass in the recovery room for a distraction and sneak out of the side door when the nurses aren't looking.

[-]

FirebirdWriter@reddit

If you have insurance you have access to medical transportation. It should be on a number on your insurance card. This comment applies to the US specifically. They cannot stop you from going but they want someone with you so you don't get taken advantage of, lost, injured, or dead while in an intoxicated state. I have had surgery and gone with medical transport many times. It's not fun but it works

[-]

Other-Resort-2704@reddit

Honestly, it depends on the hospital. I know that a VA hospital will require the responsible adult to sit in the waiting room while the procedure is going on, and you have to sign paperwork before they will release the patient into your care.

The way the VA would allow you to have a medical procedure in your situation is they would require you to stay overnight at the hospital after the procedure was done.

[-]

NiceGuyRupert@reddit

You can refuse 'sedation' - I did for a colonoscopy, and I cycled home...

But if they are putting a camera down your throat - that might be more difficult to endure - without being made medically-calm, but you could google ways to do it...

[-]

coolest35@reddit

But I got the feeling they don't like you 100% awake, because they then have to work slower - these procedures make a lot of money - so they like to turn you out pretty fast.

For anyone else reading, this is just a "feeling"/borderline conspiracy theory.

No, they offer you sedation for your comfort. Additionally, patients don't react the best when they know their orifices are going to be penetrated which reduces the chances of a successful scope.

Nothing to do with churning patients out. Hell id do it to patients with no sedation all day because less risk from anesthesia, but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get a good scope.

[-]

NiceGuyRupert@reddit

Staff ain't making bank, but the "care-giver" is, and they set time goals for procedures like this. My colonoscopy cost the same as 2000 dollars, and those 3 nurses did at least 40 people that day.

In some countries the sedative is offered, but not mandatory...

[-]

NoPoem2785@reddit

Did U have pain killer without sedation? How’s that work?

[-]

NiceGuyRupert@reddit

No real pain, just discomfort - because they were rushing the job, I told them to slow the fuck down, all while I watched the camera on a big wide screen TV.

The way the 3 nurses tried to work around me was like a pro-racing pit-stop crew changing a tire.

When they pump air into you to go round corners - it did feel like stomach cramps, and I did reach into the the air trying to grab onto to something. So it's not entirely painless.

[-]

BeefSupreme__@reddit

For colonoscopies we put people to sleep because sometimes a lot of pressure is required and they can get really uncomfortable. Some shorter scopes (where they don't need to check your whole colon) require little to no sedation.

We can do TEEs with little to no sedation by using local anesthesia, but it's definitely not comfortable

[-]

Bacongrease83@reddit

I’ve been involved in hundreds of TEEs over the years and have done them with and without sedation. Without sedation, even with plenty of lidocaine, they are brutal. No one has ever been able to take it without losing it. Some people even require full anesthesia on occasion.

[-]

Aly_Kitty@reddit

…you got a colonoscopy and RODE A BIKE HOME????? Bruh

[-]

hoefort0es@reddit

I was terrified of shitting myself from the prep and lack of food after mine, I honestly can't fathom riding a bike!!!

[-]

strangelove4564@reddit

Just remove the seat and sit on the seat tube until it fills up.

[-]

AmandaBRecondwith@reddit

Or better yet, you prep and rode there?

[-]

ughneedausername@reddit

It would be quicker if people weren’t sedated as they wouldn’t have to wait for patients to wake up from sedation.

[-]

Only_Teaching_4869@reddit

Trust me, no staff member is making extra bank. It’s all the insurance company and hospitals pocketing the money

[-]

Infamous-Tax7794@reddit

This is badass

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

That’s hardcore! And yeah, it sucks that the medical system is optimized for profits. Really lame.

[-]

Jwzbb@reddit

Call your health insurance and ask them how to arrange a pick up. Travel costs from and to a hospital is usually covered.

[-]

MissO56@reddit

are you on the nextdoor app? if not you could get on there, and ask if someone could volunteer to pick you up. there's a lot of people on there who'd be willing to do it, at least in my neighborhood.

[-]

TaraJaneDisco@reddit

Just lie. Then take an Uber.

[-]

Starkravingmad7@reddit

Just lie and walk out. They're only telling you that because it's a liability for them.

[-]

Charity-Admirable@reddit

Hire a male stripper

Retired RN 26 years working in Outpatient Surgery. The issue is that you are going to have IV sedation, and you are not safe to drive. Why not take taxi Uber lyft etc It is not safe for you to have a stranger make sure you get home, on the couch or in bed. Something to eat, possibly get prescriptions after having a IV ruffie Not safe to drive; frequent accidents; Dr. and / or nurse and hospital legally liable. Why not take taxi, Uber etc ? Reported cases of sexual assault, robbery. IV sedation affects everyone differently. Be safe and hire a vetted Healthcare provider. Do not go AMA or your insurance may not cover the hospital bill.

[-]

JupiterSkyFalls@reddit

They can't keep you there against your will. If they're worried about the medication you're on you have to wait til it's safe to drive or call an Uber, Taxi, Lyft, ect.

[-]

Chickachickawhaaaat@reddit

Last time that happened to me, I just told them my ride was here and I left. I'd had a massive ear infection and they'd doped me up on morphine, so I just walked downtown and got some pizza. The pizza was SO GOOD.

Anyways, no one had to sign me out or anything, and no one did any other time I've "had" to be picked up. They just don't want you to drive. Just leave, they can't hold you there if you've been discharged, even if they drugged you. Just be safe. Don't try to drive.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

Ha best pizza ever. And yeah that might have to be the plan... slide on out.

[-]

changeneverhappens@reddit

I hired a task rabbit for my spouse for some imaging. I booked and paid for the time needed to pick up, wait for the procedure, and then take him home.

I explained the task in my request and looked for people who were willing to transport passengers. I them know that they'd need to go in and show their ID and prove that my spouse had a ride.

It cost just under $100, including tip, which is about what an Uber would have cost any way for the distance.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

Thanks for sharing. That would work.

[-]

Aggressive_Finish798@reddit

I also had something similar happen. I found a service online where a guy showed up, drove to the hospital, and waited until the procedure was done. Look online for a service like this.

[-]

Kathucka@reddit

Look people, the tips here are supposed to be unethical. Hire a prostitute.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

Ha.. no sex, just the ride. Finally a solid unethical solution!

[-]

cogburn@reddit

Is it unethical because thr prostitute is hired under the assumption of sex but is being used as an uber?

[-]

Kathucka@reddit

All work is unethical if you hire a prostitute to do it. It just is. Don’t overthink it.

[-]

kawaiian@reddit

Veyo medical transport is Uber for medical rides

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

Haven't heard of it but will look em up. Thanks!

[-]

a_mulher@reddit

Speak to a social worker at the hospital. Most likely a medical transport service can do it. A bit more expensive but less so then being admitted to the hospital. I would also lodge a complaint that you’re being denied appropriate care and basically told to kick rocks just because you don’t have someone to do this for you. You are not the only person in this situation and for them to tell you to figure it when they can provide info or referrals is shit.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

I'll definitely chat with them. And yes, it's pretty damn frustrating and almost shame-inducing not having a support network to get a simple pickup from a hospital.

[-]

Mission_Spray@reddit

When I had an MRI, and outpatient surgery, all I was asked was “do you have a ride?” And I replied “Yes. My spouse.” That was it. No one followed up to see if I was actually OK.

But they could already see my spouse listed as my emergency contact on my file.

Maybe just say the person you have as your emergency contact is the one giving you a ride?

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

I'd love it if they'd do the same for me.

[-]

jojohohanon@reddit

This is a liability, rather than transportation issue. After they’ve drugged you up, the hospital can’t just dump you on the street. The hospital needs to have a record of handing you over to a responsible adult and them accepting liability for your well being to get you off premises.

As such the hospital is likely to stand its ground.

Sorry. This isn’t a helpful reply; but i thought maybe knowing the reason for the rule might be good, somehow.

Your pcp who is referring you might have a link to a service like this.

[-]

adork@reddit

Just tell them your ride is downstairs/outside/in the cafeteria and leave, then call uber.

[-]

WatchingTellyNow@reddit

Unfortunately some places insist that your ride comes into the ward to pick you up.

[-]

catsnglitter86@reddit

This is what I did it. I paid someone off Craigslist to take me and drop me off. The hospital required them to check in with me and confirm they will pick me up. So they came into the office with me for a minute, maybe signed something and left. They came back and picked me up, took me home and I paid them.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

How did you know they'd be reliable?

[-]

BlackAsP1tch@reddit

Procedure place usually requires you to have someone there when you check in and they have to usually stay there during the procedure. No leaving. So the best unethical tip is to pay a random homeless guy to come in with you and tell him he can leave 15 minutes after you go in the back. Can probably pay him/her 5 bucks or so for their time. Once you're out call an Uber

[-]

Theresanrrrrrr@reddit

Just tell them you have a ride. Wait in the waiting room for about an hour, then wonder off to your taxi! Nobody will follow you!

[-]

Either_Cupcake_5396@reddit

They call security to follow you

[-]

Theresanrrrrrr@reddit

No, that never happens.

[-]

Humble-Pineapple-329@reddit

Talk to the hospital. I’m in the same boat at they are arranging transport for me for an outpatient surgery.

[-]

4foryouglencoco@reddit

Your best bet is to hire someone. The paperwork will ask for the driver's name, relationship, and number. You can put friend. The nurse will call them to come pick you up while you're in recovery.

I don't recommend running out. Even the busiest surgery centers will have their eyes on you.

If you absolutely can't find anyone, ask for AMA papers after the procedure. It's this legal document that you and the doctor sign declaring that you wish to leave against medical advice.

nurse in the USA

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

Ahhhh! AMA papers? This is the first I've heard of this option. Thanks!

And yes, hiring someone seems like the most likely solution as of now.

[-]

Hollywoodhillls@reddit

Task rabbit 🤣 just have them meet you and take the ride share with you

[-]

Curlypeeps@reddit

Or maybe if you go to care.com you could hire someone to do it.

[-]

Curlypeeps@reddit

I think I have heard about a medical transportation service that would do that. Try Googling it.

[-]

pellakins33@reddit

Get an Uber home, tell them your neighbor doesn’t drive, but is waiting for you at home. I used to schedule medical transport (Medicaid pays for it in Minnesota), people did this all the time.

[-]

MadameMonk@reddit

I’d use Airtasker for this, for sure. Or similar gig economy app. Or my local facebook page, there would be people in your street willing to do it for a few bucks, or just cos it’s neighbourly. Call that an Ethical Life Pro Tip.

[-]

Delicious-Broccoli34@reddit

do you have a local community page where you could find someone to help? Ours often have things like this and many people offer to help.

[-]

LawnGnomeFlamingo@reddit

This is ethical but I don’t know how realistic it is, I have zero information about my suggestion. Maybe talk to a clergy member at your nearest religious institution? Maybe a priest or rabbi might have a member of their congregation who would be willing to drive you home. Or they might know of an outreach program that offers this service cheap or for free.

[-]

rizzo1717@reddit

Ask if they have a shuttle service. Some do.

[-]

locke314@reddit

Today I watched somebody get checked in with an “oh my sister will be here at pickup.” And off she went. You could try this and then at the end be like “ugh they can’t make it…car trouble!!”

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

That would be ideal!

[-]

juicyj153@reddit

If you can afford it, see if they’ll let you schedule it later in the afternoon or evening and leave first thing in the morning

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

It’s a TEE

[-]

juicyj153@reddit

Yeah we do those. You’ll most likely get a lidocaine spray or a lidocaine jelly to gargle with and IV versed and a small amount of fentanyl. That one’s gonna be hard to get around without sedation unless you have no gag reflex. However unless there’s a reason it needs to be transesophageal for something like a surgical evaluation, perhaps they could do it transthoracically instead. Another alternative is an intracardiac echocardiogram where we will numb up the area with lidocaine and then put a larger IV called a venous sheath into a vein and trace it up to your heart under xray. The pokes with lidocaine and the pressure from inserting the IV are really all you should feel. I’ve done awake, sedationless procedures before for people with no rides as long as they can manage to lay still and be quiet once we have our IV access.

However, ICE (intracardiac echo) isn’t super common. We have a lot of labs and a lot of resources being one of the biggest heart hospitals in our state. I imagine it would be easier for them to accommodate an afternoon TEE, staying the night, and leaving the next morning.

As far as getting around the ride situation, your best bet would be just asking an acquaintance if they could be your ride if you gave them $50 or something

[-]

helloblackhole@reddit

They’re going to tell you not to drive for 12-24 hours.

[-]

clantz@reddit

Please do share your ideas!

[-]

Casslynnicks880@reddit

Call an Uber

[-]

Flux_My_Capacitor@reddit

It’s such bullshit because essentially you cannot get medical care unless you have someone to pick you up? Many people are alone, and others have friends who work and can’t just take time off whenever.

[-]

snoozely810@reddit

Lie. When they ask who is picking you up, say "a friend." You know, Tom, the Uber driver. (Don't say that, though. ) Now, in terms of not getting shanked by Tom and left on the roadside, the type of sedation matters. Versed hangs around for hours (dose dependent). It makes you feel like you are drunk, so no signing legal documents or actual driving. Propofol, should be good in like 30 minutes, but still, no driving. It's a cya situation for the hospital, as in they don't want you to be shanked but also they don't want to be responsible for saying it was fine and then having you get shanked. If you want to be really thorough, get out of town family member in on the plan so they can call them to come get you. (Just make sure they understand the assignment). Then have that person call an Uber.

[-]

ElDoggy@reddit

Not sure where you live but in Aus there are services specifically for this. Believe it’s called Mable or something in Aus?

I have though just got a friend to meet me and sign me out, and then driven home before. Not smart but had to do what I had to do.

[-]

sprocter77@reddit

Does your town have a reddit. Ive seen people get rides and all kinds of help in my town from there.

[-]

Trishlovesdolphins@reddit

You should be able to contact them and ask if they have any medical transportation available. Some places have shuttles. They’re not everywhere though.

[-]

polymorphic_hippo@reddit

They aren't going to vet your ride. Just say you have a friend coming to pick you up and use a rideshare.

[-]

patelvp@reddit

Hire someone off care.com?

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

That's new to me. Will check it out. Thanks.

[-]

Awesome_hospital@reddit

Ok so you probably shouldn't do this, but I just tell them I have a ride. They don't hold my hand walking out. I usually drive myself for all of my hospital stays and appointments.

[-]

Playful-Translator49@reddit

Get a task rabbit

[-]

Successful-Cap-539@reddit

Not a ride share, but maybe hire someone from TaskRabbit to be your “friend” who will wheel you out of the hospital and drive you home?

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

This may be the way.

[-]

raven_widow@reddit

When I lived in a large city, I hired myself out to be a sit with/get home friend during breaks from school. Only took female clients. Was quite lucrative.

[-]

SnoopyisCute@reddit

Call the hospital patient advocate and ask for assistance. They usually will provide for a cab or ambulance to take you home.

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

That's a good suggestion about reaching out to an advocate. I'll see if I can get ahold of someone like that. However, an ambulance just to get home after common procedure sounds really excessive and costly. I can afford my own cab or Uber, so it's not that I need them to pay for it or even provide a ride. I just want to be able to do the procedure and then leave the hospital.

[-]

SnoopyisCute@reddit

It depends on what the advocate requests. I was not charged for paramedics to take me home. They are willing to help if they aren't dealing with emergencies.

Ask the advocate when you call. I hope you have a successful surgery and recovery.

[-]

MidwestHappiness@reddit

Call a local church and see if someone will do it for a donation to said church.

[-]

BeefSupreme__@reddit

Maybe an app like Thumbtack to find a babysitter? Pay them to come with you and drive

[-]

GardenStrange@reddit

Good idea

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

I haven’t heard of that before but will look into it. Thanks!

[-]

protestboy@reddit

I used my pet sitter one time to do this for me, and paid for her time.

[-]

lilydlux@reddit

Ah yes, the US healthcare systems that relies on the existence of friends and family with free time.

But for the grace of one itinerant family member currently in my city, this is my situation too.

Senior centers or your Area Agency on Aging may be a resource. Some churches my have a network of medical drivers to support the needs of their congregations, and someone may be willing to help you out.

[-]

strangelove4564@reddit

The surgeon: "We don't have money for patient transport, do you all think we're made of money?"

[-]

strangelove4564@reddit

I'm in a smaller city of 50,000. The local ambulances here actually transport patients to and from certain medical procedures as long as there aren't higher priority calls going on. This includes transport back to a residence. I think you'd have to your local ambulance dispatch at their business line and see if they can arrange this for you. Probably will cost some money but the lower your income the more likely they'll reduce the costs afterwards, plus it can be put on a payment plan.

Shame on your hospital for not acting as a liaison to help set something up.

[-]

xsmp@reddit

alot of places want the driver to remain on site so they aren't stuck with a sleepy patient

[-]

prombloodd@reddit

Uber

[-]

pinkponyroan@reddit

Maybe you could find a home health aide before the surgery and have your pick up as one of the requirements. Usually insurance will cover it. Just tell the agency your situation and that the home health aide will need to use their car. I used to do home health and this is something we would do. Even for a one time thing. But depending on the surgery you could even request care afterwards. Some companies I would be Right at Home, Bayada, Comfort Keepers, Papa's Pals. I'm not sure of their locations outside of Florida, but you could just Google home health aide or in home health aide.

[-]

throw123454321purple@reddit

There are medical transport services available. Call your health insurer and describe your situation to see what’s available.

Also: piss disks.

[-]

tamponinja@reddit

Day you got a medical taxi but dont use it.

[-]

Cool-Dog6382@reddit

when i was 17 i had to get a non-cancerous tumour removed so was all drugged up, had taken the bus there and had someone planning to pick me up but they cancelled and the hospital got me an uber and wheeled me to it and everything, made sure i had a bag i case i needed to puke, so if you can’t figure something out, the hospital may be able to help.

[-]

wireswires@reddit

They will come and let you know that you can go! Tell them you will call your partner to pick you up! Wait until no one is actually with you, and just calmly walk out. It’s a hospital, they are busy, they don’t really care.

[-]

Comfortable_Guide622@reddit

Lie - say she is waiting out in the parking lot. Once they do the procedure, you can usually leave.

[-]

OkChocolate6152@reddit

My idiot friend did this. He broke his collarbone snowboarding, then because he only owned a motorcycle at the time borrowed my car for a while. He had to get treatment and they fully sedated him and all that, made him totally loopy. Dude's a convincing liar when he needs to be, and walked out of the hospital and drove himself home in my car. He told me he had to pull over after a mile and passed out on the side of the road for a while. Wasn't so happy to hear him tell me all about this later LOL.

[-]

fishhooku2k@reddit

All you need is someone that says they are there to pick you up. Once you get out the door you can take your car. If you could find a crackhead to do it, don't pay until you get out.

[-]

RunAgreeable7905@reddit

If you hired a nurse from a nursing agency to look after you until the time they think is safe for you to be unattended they would let you go

[-]

NotTheGreenestThumb@reddit

I picked up an acquaintance after she had a procedure done on her foot (I don’t recall details), I had to sign that she would be supervised for the next 24 hours. She and her husband were shocked that I stayed with her until until he got home. I told them I take what I sign seriously.

[-]

MeanSecurity@reddit

Do an Uber where you reserve it ahead of time and then you have the persons name and car make.

[-]

DefinitionOk961@reddit

Taxi? Is that included under ride share?

[-]

jorstar@reddit (OP)

Yeah same thing unfortunately.

[-]

constructiongirl54@reddit

It is where I live as I was just in this situation last week. They said it has to be a trusted family member or friend.

[-]

DefinitionOk961@reddit

Any homeless people close? Offer $$ to pretend to be your cousin or whatever. Then rideshare. Who's gonna know?

[-]

constructiongirl54@reddit

They do this for your safety. What if a rideshare driver decides to do something terrible because you are just coming out of anesthesia? It's really for your own good...

[-]

clantz@reddit

I have always had this problem! I haven't had any family that I could ask or close friends. I can tell you hair raising stories about paying casual acquaintances to give me the rides. One time they dumped me in parking lot after the procedure because they were late for work, one time they stole my pain pills on the way home from a surgery I had.... absolute nightmares! Most of the time people meant well but would flake out at the last minute or something. I finally discovered that hospitals will let you hire a medical transport service. They work out great but are a bit pricey. Just a short drive home can cost $250 bucks. Still worth it tho.

[-]

EF_Boudreaux@reddit

Look up your local Al Anon meeting. Ask for help.