What’s something someone said to you as a child that stuck with you?

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GoldenLushTemptress@reddit

Always treat others the way you want to be treated.

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Freerollingforlife@reddit

I had an excellent teacher when I was I guess 8/9 years old.

I vividly remember sitting in a small group with him doing Maths and I put my hand up and said ‘the answer’s 9’ - Mr Hubbard looked at me and held up 8 fingers - I insisted it was 9, he kept gesturing it was 8 so eventually I said ‘It’s 8….’

No, it’s 9 he said - if you know you are right then don’t let others change your mind…

Stuck with me for 40 odd years.

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baifelicia@reddit

Is this from the school of rock?

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Stcasxx@reddit

Isn’t that a Michael Jackson song?

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Stcasxx@reddit

Yessss I was testing you.. iiit’s 9. And that’s a magic number

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Thrasy3@reddit

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popsickle_in_one@reddit

I had an excellent teacher when I was I guess 8/9 years old.

you were 8

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Freerollingforlife@reddit

Well played….

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DangerousMango6@reddit

Underrated comment haha

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Numerous_Ticket_7628@reddit

The only person you can trust is yourself.

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adreddit298@reddit

Do you believe it?

I'm firmly in this camp, with the happy singular exception of my wife, who I trust completely - to the point that if we disagree on something, unless I'm 100% convinced I'm correct, I'll take her word over my own!

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Numerous_Ticket_7628@reddit

Yes I do , over absolutely everyone (and I’m also married).

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SolitaryHero@reddit

I consider myself a fairly decent judge of character, my wife and I are both mental health nurses so it kind of comes with the job. However if she thinks there’s something off about someone and I can’t see it, it’s only a matter of time before they do something that proves her right.

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EllaSingsJazz@reddit

So many, but when I was at infants school we used to have to say grace before lunch. I remember saying it loudly and clearly wanting to please the teacher but afterwards she said 'who was that with the horrible voice?' And for the longest time I was afraid my voice was awful and hated to speak up.

This one, I never speak about but maybe it'll be cathartic to share (or maybe not) I was a spotty 13 year old, with unfashionable clothes and greasy hair. This older boy told me in front of my friends 'God, you're fucking ugly' I burned with shame and my friends just laughed. Anyway, some weeks or months later I was told this boy had ended his life, as a young, hurt teenager I just thought 'good' but as I matured I could see it as the tragedy it was. I can still see his face and hear his voice saying that to me but now with my own child older than he was at his death, I know he would have grown and matured too. RIP Carl, I'm sorry you were so unhappy.

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sparklescc@reddit

I have a similar story. I was bullied by a kid when I was in school. He used to tell me : "when you leave this school and go to high school you will be so bullied that you will kill yourself. You think I'm mean just you wait wierdo". He pushed me down the stairs, poisoned my food in school and almost killed the student that mistakenly ate it and called me names everytday for 4 years.

I found out he tried to kill himself several times after us leaving school and him going to a high school.

I used to hate him so much but nowadays I wish I could tell him : I'm really sorry your home life was shit and I triggered you somehow. You were just a kid like me. I'm not mad anymore.

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EllaSingsJazz@reddit

I'm sorry you went through a similar thing. 43 years later I still remember him but realise he'd be around 60 had he lived, perhaps with adult kids and grandchildren.

How his parents must have suffered.

Carl was just a silly, mean boy. Who knows why he told me such a mean thing? Why did my 'friends' laugh? Rather than defend me?

I have taught my daughter that if your friends join in with your bullying, they are not your friends and luckily all her circle are absolute ride or die friends. I come from the era of 'pick me's'

I hope you're doing well x

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squeakypeaks@reddit

She said if there was a fire, shed rescue my brother before me.

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Rumhampolicy@reddit

"Oh, she's got big legs," said about me loudly by my mums friend, who was right near me. I was 10, and I've always been super self-conscious about my legs ever since.

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floss147@reddit

I’ve been self conscious of my legs and tummy since a girl a year older than me told me I was plump while prodding me. I was 7 and of average build

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Rumhampolicy@reddit

It's so horrible. 💔

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Mobile-Eggplant2131@reddit

Never trust a lawyer or a politician, and if you meet someone who is both, run. Junior school teacher.

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thatsoddod@reddit

It wasn't to me but it was about me?

My parents were having a soiree with some friends, and we kids were banished upstairs from 7pm onwards(I was in my early teens I think?).

It was about 10-11pm and they were making so much noise I crept partway down the stairs to see what all the fuss was about. They had clearly had a bit to drink but were still speaking clearly enougb and making sense. I overheard my dad saying "thatsodd_od is so ugly, she looks like a frog'. No one jumped to my defence. There were a few Indian breaths and an 'oh you are awful. Don't say things like that!' But that was it.

I was (and still am) devastated by it.

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floss147@reddit

That’s an awful thing to say. I would have called him out on it.

Everyone has their own beauty. Wear yours with pride.

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Precipiceofasneeze@reddit

When I was little it was a common occurrence for my mother to say "if there's a wrong way to do something, precipiceofasneeze will do it."

Goes some way to explaining why I'm incapable of pushing or challenging myself all these years later.

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floss147@reddit

Oh that hits hard. I was told - and even overheard - comments about me as a child and I still wear them now.

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Precipiceofasneeze@reddit

Yeah, some of them are REALLY tough to shake off.

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Accurate_Prompt_8800@reddit

My teacher once said to me that I could achieve anything I wanted if I applied myself fully. I was 9.

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cari-strat@reddit

We had school reports with a grade for effort and a grade for attainment in each subject.

I went the whole of primary with straight A grades until my final term. I had been accepted at grammar school and my head at primary was vehemently opposed to selective education.

She took my report off my form teacher to fill it in herself, and gave me all A grades for attainment and all B-grades for effort because (and I quote), "She doesn't need to exert any effort to come top in everything."

That bitch ruined an entire school career of straight As because it offended her fucking beliefs. FUCK YOU, MRS NUTTALL!!

Yes, I am 52. Yes, I am still salty about it.

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floss147@reddit

Oh I would be too.

My mum once kept me out of school on the last day of term. I was in reception and remember it clearly even though I’m 38 now. It was for my brother’s birthday… but I desperately wanted to show my mum all the hard work I had done that year. So the next day my mum took me up there to collect them… to find they had already thrown them in the skip.

I was devastated and it triggered a hoarding response in me with school work. It’s only in the last few years that I’ve been able to throw away old school work I had done!

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cdca@reddit

And now you're a Top 1% Commenter on the AskUK subreddit!

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MildlyAgreeable@reddit

And that commenter’s name?

Marilyn Einstein.

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Grumpydad57@reddit

When I was 18, I bought a 125cc motorbike and my mother was furious. Basically didn't speak for months to me.

About 6 months later a car driver knocked me off it, and I bust my arm badly. Car driver was distraught, but my mother told him... oh don't worry, it was his own fault for having the bloody bike.

I still remember it like it was yesterday and I'm now 61yrs old

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RepulsiveProposal961@reddit

"have you seen the new girl who has started? She looks just like you, only slim"

I was a perfectly normal sized 13 year old girl, but the teacher saying this to me has stuck with me forever. I'm now nearly 40 🫠

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Forward_District_9@reddit (OP)

Same thing happened to me

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Key-Original-225@reddit

A lot of sad in here :(

I’ll try to lighten the mood a bit,

“Never shit in a bin” - dad to me aged 10 (I never did or have)

“Son, when it comes to sex, make the girl orgasm first before sex happens and she’ll look past the fact you cum in 30 seconds” - dad to me aged 14 when he found out I had a girlfriend.

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Grumpydad57@reddit

My schoolmate used to say have a quick wank in the bog before you shag her, then you won't cum so quick

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Specialist_Cod8174@reddit

Solid advice

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jimmy_dimmick@reddit

The second one is solid advice.

Tbf the first one is too

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SolitaryHero@reddit

Your Dad is a fucking sage.

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RevolutionaryPace167@reddit

Ha, funny Dad X

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Forward_District_9@reddit (OP)

Why would anyone shit in a bin? Genuinely, confused don’t get it.

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KaidaShade@reddit

Every story I've heard about it has been a disgruntled employee making a Point to their employer - same thing happened at my fiancé's old job

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Key-Original-225@reddit

Honestly, it was so out of the blue, he was fairly pissed on a Sunday afternoon, just walked in the living room upon coming home, gave me that nugget of advice and fucked off into the kitchen. Still don’t quite know why.

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Forward_District_9@reddit (OP)

Maybe speaking from experience…😑😂

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chmath80@reddit

Why would anyone shit in a bin?

Their dad never told them not to?

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corporategiraffe@reddit

Hello Jay

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No-Sandwich1511@reddit

Your dad is right about the bin! We had a disgruntled employee shit in a bin before she left / was told to leave and let me tell you that shit marinated for weeks and stunk out the full branch. She had shat in the sanitary bin which doesn't get emptied as regularly as other bins. I felt soo sorry for the company who came to collect it. The smell still traumatizes me to this day. God bless himer hippy free soul she truly did get the last laugh back at the boss.

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Efficient-Ad9932@reddit

Your dad sounds like a legend

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DecentTemperature853@reddit

It's like something Grandpa Simpson would say to Homer hahaha

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deformedfishface@reddit

My mum gave me this same advice when I was about 15. It was super awks.

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kittyvixxmwah@reddit

Which one? The being good in bed or the bin shit prohibition?

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Austen_Tasseltine@reddit

But your mum and Key-Original-225’s dad had a fine old time of it.

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onionsofwar@reddit

Clearly the bin comment was prompted by his bad day that day as a result of shitting in a bin.

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WuvWithAnEarthW@reddit

The last one :D haha.. I think every guy needs to be given this advice, to be honest

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Disastrous_Candle589@reddit

I went to an all girls selective grammar school and absolutely hated it. I had no friends and was bullied daily. I begged my mum to let me move schools because I was so upset and her response was “no because then people will think we are moving you because you can’t keep up academically“

It makes me mad when I think about my son and how I would react and treat him when he’s older if he was in a similar situation and it breaks my heart that someone could care more about local gossip than their own child’s mental health and experiences.

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Les-tah-farian@reddit

A former teacher said "why procrastinate now when you can procrastinate later?"

Always makes me chuckle for some reason. Especially when I'm procrastinating (like now, for example)

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chmath80@reddit

"why procrastinate now when you can procrastinate later?"

when I'm procrastinating (like now, for example)

So you weren't really listening?

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Tenyearssobersofar@reddit

Too busy procrastinating, I bet.

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Both-Sound-7979@reddit

Procrastination final boss

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Max_Level_Nerd@reddit

"are you blind or f-ing stupid" shouted at 10 year old me by some adult in the sidelines as I let in the 4th goal during our inter-school football match. we went to lose 7-0 in the end. my fellow team-mates hated me, the adults hated me but somehow the teachers all said I was good. it wasn't until I was an adult that i realised I saved at least twice as many shots on goal as conceded. It's not the goalkeepers fault our opponents had 21 shots on goal but I was used as the scapegoat.

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Nearby-Evening-8016@reddit

My son used to be a gk.

On bad days we always spoke about the saves he made and reminded him that there were 10 players in front of him that should never have let the ball get so far up the pitch. Fair enough, keepers make mistakes but it’s not always on them.

Between the sticks is a lonely place to be.

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Beginning-End9098@reddit

Are you Jordan Pickfords dad?

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cari-strat@reddit

My son's in a team. His goalie has been known to cry if he lets one in. I've made my son aware that I will absolutely kick his arse if he ever makes that poor lad feel bad about failing to stop a shot.

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Beginning-End9098@reddit

Are you Jordan Pickford's dad?

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PaPaJ0tc@reddit

From a striker’s perspective: if the keeper saves 9/10 of your shots, you are 1-0 up.

From a keepers point of view, if you save 9/10 you are 1-0 down.

This is why keeper is the hardest job. It should be part of the whole team’s coaching that the keeper needs support, not criticism.

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oh_f-f-s@reddit

I had similar experiences with football growing up, and now I can't stand the sport. Really soured my view on the game

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MrPogoUK@reddit

Which puts you right on par with the professionals; pretty much every pro goalkeeper saves about two out of three shots on target.

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MonsieurGump@reddit

I’m nervous about letting my kids play team sports because of what I’m likely to do if a parent like that appears.

I’m quite chill in most ways but adult’s bullying kids is a line in the sand

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jilljd38@reddit

Then don't let your kid play any kind of team sports or hold your temper , football rugby even cricket is full of adults bullying other people's kids usually find it's the ones that were good at sports but never quite good enough that are the worst for it , my dad once got a 3 week ban from matches for standing up to a parent like that at my sons football nothing happened to that parent tho because he was pally with the coach etc

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Upper-Lime-3493@reddit

Some people need to grow up Jesus Christ

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Old-Abbreviations845@reddit

" You are half a chromosome of a guide dog "

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GenXer76@reddit

My grandpa said I had shifty eyes. A little girl of about 9 or 10. I still don’t know what he meant by that.

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RonnieBobs@reddit

My mum used to look after a family friend’s baby during the daytime. One day his dad was dropping him off and I mentioned I was nervous for a spelling test I had that day. He told me I’d be fine and asked for one of the bigger words I was nervous about. I said furniture.

He said “oh that’s an easy one! Just think fur, like fur on an animal, nit, like a nit in your hair, and ure like… well you’re just going to have to remember that”. In fairness, his method worked.

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BugAdministrative683@reddit

... and Midge ure from Ultravox.

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RonnieBobs@reddit

I just had to Google what that meant!

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Slothjitzu@reddit

My Aunt's ex-husband was a super cool guy growing up and he said something to me that has really resonated with me as I've gotten older.

You either work hard in school, or you work hard as an adult. It's up to you which one, but you don't get to go back and change your mind.

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Downtown_Pool_7096@reddit

'If your hand is bigger than your face you have cancer' fell for that one hard.

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Specialist_Cod8174@reddit

"You're difficult to live with" my Mother

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octohussy@reddit

There’s a saying in Newcastle: “shy bairns get nowt”. Pretty much every adult figure in my life reiterated this.

It’s helped a lot in my life. If someone invites me to an event I’d struggle to get to, I just politely ask for a lift. If a friend requests going out somewhere and I can’t afford it, a “you paying?” text has resulted in a free night out. If I’m annoyed with something at work, communicating the issue and a potential fix, even if it’s a bit cheeky, has resolved most problems.

If i don’t get the ideal result, I just reiterate the saying (explaining it if it’s someone unfamiliar) and have a laugh about it.

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FinalEgg9@reddit

Yeah, my mum always said "don't ask don't get", which I think is the more southern version of the same sentiment,

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Forward_District_9@reddit (OP)

Same as- If you don’t ask you don’t get.

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tjjwaddo@reddit

You got 92% in your Cycling Proficiency Test? Well it can't have been a proper test if you got such a high mark - said my MOTHER!

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FinalEgg9@reddit

My parents did something similar - I proudly told them I'd got 98% in a maths test, and they replied "well what about the other 2%? Clearly you failed"

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CheeryBottom@reddit

I did the opposite to my daughter. She told me she got 37% on a maths test and I commiserated her and told her its ok to not be that good at a subject. She looked at me in horror and told me she got the best score in the class. I still feel awful.

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hhfugrr3@reddit

That just reminded me. I passed a module called Classical and Alternate Logic Systems at uni. It was all complicated maths I barely understood. Sort of thing where solving each sum takes the entire alphabet and 10 sides of A4. I got 42%, which was the second highest in the class!! 🤣 I was very pleased as I thought I was sure to fail. My mum wasn't so impressed 😂

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CheeryBottom@reddit

She got 50% on her last maths test. I put on my best proud mum face and applauded her effort accordingly.

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tjjwaddo@reddit

Five years later, my sister took hers and got 99%. My mum could not have been more delighted and told everyone. When I reminded her of what she'd said to me, I was told I'd imagined it.

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CheeryBottom@reddit

I hope you’re ok.

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tjjwaddo@reddit

I'm fine, but thanks for asking. It was very many years ago, but it still rankles.

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sammyglumdrops@reddit

Your mum’s just like mines! When I was applying for lawyer jobs after finishing uni, my brother constantly told me I wasn’t smart enough to get a graduate job so should opt for something more realistic.

When I told him to stop discouraging me and we argued, my mum would always defend him and say he’s just looking out for you and giving you advice so you don’t waste your time chasing a job you can’t get.

When I eventually got the job and qualified as a lawyer, I mentioned it (not in a pompous way, it was incidental, they were advising me on something which I didn’t want to and when they said I was making a bad decision I said “you both also said that about becoming a lawyer and you were wrong about that so clearly you don’t always know what’s best”) and my mum straight up said she never said anything of the sort! 😂

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DanStFella@reddit

Interested to know what your brother does to be able to make such a statement.

Surely too, he never really saw you in school/college/uni so how does he know whether you’re smart enough?

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sammyglumdrops@reddit

He’s an accountant and he tried applying for graduate roles after uni but never managed to get one so his comments were always, in his view, not malicious, but “just giving advice based on my experience”.

You’re correct he didn’t see me in school / uni etc but we were talking about jobs one time and I mentioned I wasn’t getting passed the application stage a lot for trainee lawyer roles and the few interviews I had at that point rejected me.

He would pretty always just say it “nicely” but it was still unsupportive. It was usually along the lines of “you have to be realistic, graduate roles are for smart people and we’re just not smart enough. I couldn’t get a graduate role so I looked for alternative roles too. Law is hard to break into and you’re probably not going to get a graduate job, you should look for something else like in the financial services sector or something”.

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Hitzbag@reddit

Sounds about right

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Thrasy3@reddit

Ah flashbacks to all the times I had the “why is it 89%, why not 90% - aren’t you supposed to be smart? What was the highest score - 95%? So why weren’t you trying as hard as them? Why are you so lazy ALL. THE. TIME - the teachers keep saying you’re one of the smartest boys in school, and your always acting like a little smart arse - so we work hard to give you everything you need to be successful, raise you right and this is how you make us look!?” Conversation

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ShouldBeSomePlace@reddit

I failed my cycling proficiency test. I didn’t understand what the instructor meant when he said “brake”. Sounds so stupid when I think about it. I knew what the brakes were and I knew how to slow down but I didn’t realise that “brake” means to apply the brakes.

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hhfugrr3@reddit

I got 100% on my cycling proficiency... had forgotten about that and now i feel like a cycling boffin again 🤣

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FuckedupUnicorn@reddit

I failed mine! Still can’t ride a bike.

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Vyvyansmum@reddit

Ha ha! My parents were offers a scholarship for me into a very nice school as I was apparently gifted & well ahead of my peers. Their response was “ What ? Our Helen” & laughed it off.

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Matticus95@reddit

Whilst having crippling anxiety attacks at primary school I was warned 'I wouldn't be able to behave like that when I got to secondary school'.

The 90s were wild.

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Lady_hamster@reddit

Don't speak unless you're spoken to

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Simbooptendo@reddit

"Can you stop doing that please?!" - my teacher when I stuttered trying to say Good Morning for registration. I still stutter now (not because of that, I've always had a genuine stutter) and after that would literally practice trying to say Good Morning without messing up (beginning sentences with Gs are the hardest, and we were only allowed to say Good Morning). Anyway Mrs Redman you can g-g-go f-f-fuck yourself

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Ok_Aside_2361@reddit

Sorry-tangent - I have a BS in Speech Pathology. Working with a stutterer was my favorite success. He wanted to be an EMT so had to be able to talk on the radio. I don’t think it was me. I think I was in the right place at the right time. I was a college coed and he was just a bit younger and he was a he. No, nothing happened - not even any flirting on anyone’s part. It was just hard work and practice on his part. He had people tell him similar things. 30 years ago it was more common to hear that than not. I hope it is getting a bit better.

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Goldf_sh4@reddit

Yeah, fuck off Mrs Redman.

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Jojo6167@reddit

What a bitch

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Parsley-Snap@reddit

My son has a stutter. I am so sorry you went through this. Hope that teacher ends up in hell getting scrutinised for every little thing she does….. for all of eternity.

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Blue-Moon99@reddit

Fellow stutterer, teachers used to love making me read out loud. I remember getting stuck on the word 'the', and my year 4 teacher said it for me in a tone that suggested I didn't know what the word actually was. I was angry, I could read, I loved reading, my issue was I couldn't speak! Fun times /s

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pencilneckleel@reddit

What a moron of a teacher. I remember I had the same issue. Took absolutely ages to say good morning but luckily my teacher was very patient and told any kid who mocked me to shut up.

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TheEndlessVortex@reddit

So many people in teaching positions who should never be in this line of work.

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Lou-H@reddit

My mum said several times that she loved me but didn’t like me. Always after my sister and I had a falling out-there is 6.5 years age difference between my sister and I and we never got on as kids. My mum would let my sister go into my room when I wasn’t there and let her touch all my stuff. I hated it and it would cause massive arguments. I now know that I am autistic-got my diagnosis at age 38, having someone invade my space is still a big thing for me. So yeah-mum would say that she loved me but didn’t like me. Lead to a lifetime of presuming everyone I meet automatically dislikes me and I spend my time people pleasing and presuming I am annoying and people don’t want me around. Find it hard to maintain friendships because I presume the other person thinks I aren’t worth it. Fortunately I now have an excellent relationship with my sister. Am married to a great guy, have a lovely son etc etc. So despite not really having any close friends I am doing ok in life. Overall my mum was a good parent, she would be sad to know all this-but yeah, really stuck with me and had a long term effect.

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Smooth-Purchase1175@reddit

Fuck... that is brutal. I'm so sorry you went through that. You have my deepest sympathies.

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Lou-H@reddit

Thank you. It’s only a fairly recent thing that I actually put the two and two together-this thing she said and how I am around people (the need to people please etc). Just sort of hit me one day-bit of a light bulb moment.

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Deformedpye@reddit

If you do that you'll go blind. Still do it and can still see.

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Daddicool69@reddit

Fishing tip from my Dad 40 odd years ago.

If the fish are biting, one rod is all you can handle. If they're not, two rods won't make them.

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Maleficent-Split8267@reddit

I genuinely don't think I can repeat what I was told by my mother because I think it could be dangerous to someone else but I'll just say that it's something that encouraged addiction.

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Western-Ad-9058@reddit

My grandparents moved in next door to me when they retired. My grandad was headed out fishing early one morning, it was pouring with rain and still dark. I was headed out to get horses ready for one thing or another. I said when I passed him we must be mad out here in this. He said “Rain or shine, for the love of the sport”. I still work with horses , in the west of Ireland. That memory has got me through some cold wet winters working outside.

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onionsofwar@reddit

'In the past people were giants and that's why doors to old buildings are so big'.

My dad liked to make up stupid shit to answer all my questions as a kid.

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TheHalfwayBeast@reddit

I grew up in a house built in the 1600s and the doors were tiny. Clearly rich people were giants and poor people were pygmies.

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onionsofwar@reddit

Sounds exactly like the kind of thing he'd have said to me.

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dom_eden@reddit

My grandma told me Coca Cola was made from dog poo when I was younger and that stuck with me for a long time.

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Glad-Pomegranate6283@reddit

I had a teacher say I wasn’t capable of being in top set science for my GCSEs. I went to speak to the head of year forward to put forward my case. Anyway I achieved ABB in the sciences at GCSE, did biology, chemistry, sociology and a science EPQ at level, now doing my science degree before I do a masters of psychology research and stats/data science

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grubbygromit@reddit

When I was a grumpy teenager my Dad pulled me aside and pinched the skin on the back of his hand and lifted it up. It sprang back slowly. They told me to do mine. It sprang back right away. He then said to look at the lines in his face. Happy creases by his eyes ect. He said, "You don't want the lines that form from your skin ageing to be grumpy lines, do you?" Or words to that affect. Hmmm reading it back I guess you need to be there.

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Grotbags_82@reddit

I like this. I took it as we all get old and wrinkly. Better to have the lines formed from all the laughter and smiling than frowning.

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Adorable_Ebb_3913@reddit

That's really nice. I like that and it's kind of poetic.

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TheBlueDinosaur06@reddit

He sounds a good man

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nadiestar@reddit

I said I hated my freckles. I must’ve been about six years old, and I was in a pub at my father’s gig (he was a drummer and singer in a band) and I was sat with my sister and the landlords kids and they kept calling me freckle face. I got upset and I said very loudly “I hate my freckles!” Then a very drunk old Irishman, who was sat next to us, leaned over, and in his slurry drawl said “a face without freckles, is like at night without stars! “

I think about that a lot, especially when my freckles are quite prominent after being in the Sun. I don’t hate them quite so much anymore.

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TheHalfwayBeast@reddit

It's funny how opinions differ on the same thing. I've always liked my freckles; I see them as a 'charm point'. Especially since I have green eyes and Irish ancestry, as well as Scottish. I miss them when they fade in the winter.

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4321zxcvb@reddit

That’s nice .. kid on my street used to call me ‘shit splash’ due to freckles. Still hate the fucker.

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nadiestar@reddit

Kids are so horrible. We should feel vindicated as there are thousands of make up tutorials online teaching people how to paint on freckles. We have them naturally.

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Parsley-Snap@reddit

My mom used to berate me for being fat (despite having never been fat) and now I’m 36, still battling an eating disorder. I’ve done a lot of targeted trauma therapy and have come to terms with the fact that I will forever struggle with this.

F**ked up thing is…. My mom is built like SpongeBob. Always has been.

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Dolgar01@reddit

Maths teacher - “those older children are not cleverer than you, they just have more experience.”

Just before setting a class of year 7 a mock GCSE exam paper (designed for year 11).

It was difficult, but the confidence boost at the start always remained with me.

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Trick_Director8318@reddit

Growing up in foster care, I had a really good social worker before the rest of them. He ended up being sacked after being caught helping parents with his own personal income (absolutely disgraceful to sack him for this). Before he left, he told me “Kindness is always an option and if you can show it, don’t be scared to, because your ego doesn’t come to heaven with you.” As a young man, I thought he was just being weird but the older I get, the more I appreciate him and what he said. His name was Reason, and if I could meet him again I’d love to thank him for all he helped me overcome—he is truly the greatest human I’ve met to date.

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Tommy-Foxwell@reddit

Life is a shit sandwich, but the more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat.

Cheers Dad. RIP

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Lochan2468@reddit

"You always talk about yourself and don't let anyone get a word in"

Said to me by a close friend at the time and now it replays in my head every time I go to speak about myself and I just stop.

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SadPomegranate1020@reddit

So many things my Mum said to me growing up.

That I was “a horrible little girl” all through my very young years.

When a boyfriend split up with me “me and your Dad find you hard to love sometimes, so I’m not surprised”. In fact any she would side with any ex boyfriend of mine saying it must be me, no matter what they did.

Needless to say I’ve found it hard to maintain relationships or friendships and never been able to be assertive in work situations as I feel I’m not good enough and everything is my fault. Had counselling for it and they told me it was because I was never nurtured.

Watching my mums behaviour through adult eyes I now realise she just blames her bad behaviour on everyone else to this day and I just happened to cop it as a kid and didn’t know it wasn’t my fault back then. Damage is done however.

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smoulderstoat@reddit

When I was little I asked my Nan about the young man whose picture was at the head of her bed. She said "that's my brother, I miss him and think about him every day."

He went off to war in 1915 and never came home. I don't think they ever found his body. I genuinely believe she did think about him every day.

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chmath80@reddit

If you know his name, you should be able to find some record of what happened to him. There's a record of commonwealth war graves and memorials. That's what we did with my grandmother's brother. [He's on the Loos memorial. Body never found. We think he trod on a mine.] They sent us a certificate. It's on the wall.

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popsickle_in_one@reddit

My Nan had a similar story about her Uncle. He died in Ypres.

Later I went on a school history trip to Belgium and found his name on the Menin Gate. She was happy to see the picture.

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Due_Vanilla9786@reddit

i did a very similar school trip two years in a row (because i enjoyed it so much the first year) and the Menin Gate sticks with me so much. So many names. so many of the monuments and museums we visited really impacted me. I’ll always remember there’s an A. B. C. Disney on the Menin Gate too. his name is seared into my brain, for obvious reasons.

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Betrayedunicorn@reddit

Wow. When we say we will remember them I think it’s actually stories like these. It’s essentially a first hand account still and it really puts it into perspective that in the grand scheme of things, 1915 was practically less than yesterday.

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RevolutionaryPace167@reddit

I recently did my family tree, and discovered my family who died in the WW1. I managed after a time searching, found photos of them, visited the churches who have their name on the roll. I remember them for those who are no longer here to mourn them. Wars are evil.

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Forward_District_9@reddit (OP)

😔

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LeLePeachTeaTree@reddit

Work to live. Do not live to work. My grandad, the best man I ever knew. RIP xx

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Greenmedic2120@reddit

I had spilt something and I got upset and said it was an accident and my mum said ‘it’s always an accident with you’. Which hurt in a way I didn’t understand at the time. I know she didn’t mean it truly, but even now I’m upset/afraid if I have an accident or spill something etc.

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Miasmata@reddit

Don't let the bastards get you down

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PavlovaToes@reddit

I was talking to one of the staff members in a pub play-area (a Wacky Warehouse if you're in the UK) because she knew my older sister.

She asked me what I liked to do in my free time, I said I liked to draw and that I was artistic. She said "you're autistic!?" and laughed at me. I couldn't understand why she was laughing at me but I knew what both words meant... she made me feel humiliated. I was about 8 years old, and it made me question my wording every time anyone has ever asked me my hobbies/what I like to do... and the irony is, I am in the process of being diagnosed for autism too.

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SmilingSunshineDay@reddit

What an absolute loser that lady was! Imagine speaking to a kid like that.

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PavlovaToes@reddit

Happy cake day!!

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SmilingSunshineDay@reddit

Thank you :) First Cake Day Woop!

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jevawin@reddit

“Never borrow money other than your mortgage.”

Advice from my grandparents. I’ve never had a loan, nor have I used a credit card other than for the interest free periods and I always knew when I would pay it back.

This meant saving for a Tesla for just over 10 years. It also means my wife and I don’t buy things we can’t afford outright, so no bi-folding doors for us!

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Affectionateballbags@reddit

My uncle accused me of being on drugs on Christmas Day when I was 11 because I went upstairs for a nap after dinner. He told me that if he ever found out that I was taking drugs he would break my legs and then find the person that gave them to me and break their legs and their arms. He told me drugs were so bad that I thought it was one of those lies that adults told to keep things for themselves so I tried all the drugs, i tried them all, a lot. And you know what. Even though I had an amazing time in my teens and twenties, I wish I had listened to my uncle

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LiorahLights@reddit

I was diagnosed with depression at 14 after my parents divorce. After my first therapy session my mum said "how did it feel to meet kids with real problems?"

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Upper-Lime-3493@reddit

Well, what she didn’t think of when saying that is that kids who have parents who say things like that generally have “real problems”, and carry those very real problems into adulthood.

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LiorahLights@reddit

Oh, the trauma is real. It took a lot of therapy to unpack what my parents messy divorce, my mums doormat nature and my dad's cheating did to me.

Fun fact. My parents got remarried to each other a few years later. Mum left him again this year, and I cheered when she told me.

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Upper-Lime-3493@reddit

I’m happy you had the courage to unpack it, it’s definitely easier said than done. The days I don’t dissociate from it are the worst ones

That fun fact is brilliant, good for her 🙂

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RadiantCrow8070@reddit

Yup going by your profile you still have a long way to go

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WhoLets1968@reddit

Be careful what you say to someone, it maybe the last thing they hear.

Always made me stop and think and probably explains why I generally always leave people with a good word.

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MildlyAgreeable@reddit

Yes this is a lovely comm

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Reader-H@reddit

“You’re a nuisance”.

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SusieC0161@reddit

Forever being teased for being fat, even though I wasn’t.

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oh_f-f-s@reddit

I had multiple people tell me I wouldn't amount to anything while I was growing up.

In fairness, I was a badly behaved kid, but telling someone they'll be a failure before they're even a teenager is unkind.

Anyway, they were wrong. So fuck em

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shinystarlightt@reddit

when i was 9 i was sat with 2 of my freinds at a park and some older girls (18-19) came over to us. They said how beautiful my two friends would grow up to be, and just looked at me after that. Somehow the absence of them saying anything has weighed on my heart for a long time (im 26 now)

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Ok-Nectarine350@reddit

My "devout" Catholic grandfather. He said two things on the same theme. "There are no pockets in shrouds" and "Enjoy yourself while you can because you're never coming back." He lost his twin brother in WW1 and saw the horrors of what happened. He went to church for my Irish Catholic grandmother but told me he never prayed again. I grew up to be an Atheist. I hope he would be proud of my rejection of superstition.

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Significant_Ad9019@reddit

When I was a kid, my uncle told me not to be afraid to step on people to get to the top.

He's a cowboy builder, so makes sense he thinks that way and doesn't give a crap about other people. I still remember it as one of the worst and strangest things to tell a child.

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snapjokersmainframe@reddit

My mother: When you grow up you'll understand/wear dresses/use makeup/carry a handbag. No, no, no and no.

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EllieEllie25@reddit

My grandmother at 90 still regularly tries to impress upon me the importance of dressing smartly, wearing makeup etc. to ensure other people think the right things about me.

I'm so glad our generation are starting to realise that what other people think about us isn't the most important thing in the world.

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Forward_District_9@reddit (OP)

So what is your choice of accessory? Interested to know.

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Snoo_said_no@reddit

Do you need an accessory?

Not the above poster. But similarly multiple relatives, neighbours, family friends and teachers told me I'd become interested in clothes, shoes, bags,makeup etc. or I'll regret 'not making the most' of my appearance, or the thinly veiled 'will want to look after myself' when I'm older.

Well I'm 40, two kids, still cut my own hear with clippers, still don't wear makeup and am still quite happy in my jeans, t-shirts and hoodies!

The closest thing to an accessory I have is waterproof walking boots. Stuff goes in pockets. If I have a lot of stuff I bring a backpack!

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snapjokersmainframe@reddit

Apart from the two kids and the 5 year age difference, are you sure you're not me?!

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snapjokersmainframe@reddit

My choice of what now?

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MaidInWales@reddit

My uncle was a compulsive liar and was always being caught out and would still follow his lies regardless. When I got caught in a lie, rather than tell me off my dad just said "if you're going to be a liar you have to have a good memory otherwise you'll be a laughing stock like your uncle Desmond. If you always tell the truth then you don't have to keep track of what you've said"

The thought of being made a fool of like my uncle was better deterrent than any telling off.

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Breakwaterbot@reddit

There's no such thing as a free shag

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Forward_District_9@reddit (OP)

That’s not even true 😂

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Breakwaterbot@reddit

It certainly is. One way or another, that shag has cost you something.

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UnicornSparkles1@reddit

“I got 98% in my exam!”

“But what did everyone else get?”

All my achievements had to be compared to my peers to make sure it actually was an achievement.

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Used_Platform_3114@reddit

Does Roald Dahl’s The Twits count?

“f a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.

A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

I have lived my life by this!

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ZonePleasant@reddit

"I should have broken your back when you were a baby." - my mother literally this morning when her hot water bottle took 2 more minutes to prepare thak normal. Doesn't have the same sting after 38 years but still sucks to hear.

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LongjumpingMacaron11@reddit

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. I can't imagine a parent being that nasty to their child.

Would I fuck be getting someone a hot water bottle who spoke to me like that. I'd tell her to fuck right off, get her own bottle, and get out of my life.

Having got that off my chest, I will say that I, of course, don't know your circumstances. It sounds horrible, and I wish you all the best.

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Ok-Advantage3180@reddit

I remember when I was about 12 and went to a friends house. There was five of us altogether. Her mum was driving us somewhere and told me that I should get in the front because I was bigger than the others, so they needed more space in the back. In terms of adult sizes, I was a UK size 8, but that comment completely altered how I saw myself for the first time in my life

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Particular-Exam-558@reddit

I remember getting a gentle telling off by a friend of my fathers for having dirty fingernails when i was about 10. Along the lines of "young ladies with dirty nails blah blah blah". i can't remember what he said, but i felt awful and i have had a paranoia about keeping my hands clean ever since. Still a,constant battle with the nails

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Chordsy@reddit

When I'd just broken up with my first boyfriend at 19, my dad gave me a big cuddle to console me and said

"my girl, as long as someone takes you off the shelf every now and again and gives you a good dusting, you don't need a man in your life"

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bobbyball5678@reddit

When I was in primary school the head teacher said that I will fail at everything I do and I will never become successful and never gave me help in class when I asked for it that’s why to this day I don’t ask for help

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squashed_tomato@reddit

What a shitty teacher. Some of the teacher comments in this thread truly astound me in the worst possible way.

I would try to gradually push past that if I was you. Maybe think of asking for help as a skill you need to learn instead of something negative? In a similar vein it’s ok to not know the answers to everything. We’re all still learning as we go. I think it’s good to learn to be comfortable with saying “I don’t know but let’s look it up.”

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Parsnipnose3000@reddit

My dad when I was about five : "You've got the kind of face only a mother could love".

It made me feel ugly my entire life. It made it hard for me to understand why people would love me. I just had to learn to trust that they do, if they say they do. I was 56 years old (last year) when I realised he was "probably joking". He died this April.

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Gibbo982@reddit

My constantly said to me " you'll never be good enough for anyone" He wasn't wrong 😂

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PinkGinFairy@reddit

My grandad told me ‘if you learn to read then you’ll always be able to learn anything else you want to. It’s all in a book somewhere’. These days it’s online but his point still stands.

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ShouldBeSomePlace@reddit

My mother died with dementia when I was quite young. I remember visiting her in hospital with my sister. She looked at me and said “you’re the son I never wanted”. It doesn’t change how I think of her but it hit hard at the time.

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KaidaShade@reddit

'What was the B?'

Text I got back from my mum when I told her my a-level results (A*, 2As and a B). Not the worst thing but kinda took the wind out of my sails, especially when other people were getting effusive praise for way lower grades

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Aurora-love@reddit

I overheard my best friends mum tell my mum I was selfish and bossy when I was 8ish maybe? Mum doesn’t remember it but it stuck with me ever since

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Pippin4242@reddit

"I don't like you, but I love you." My mother, who didn't think telling me this was a serious issue.

Oh well, she's dead now.

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Impressive-Car4131@reddit

Also my mother. Why are boomers like this?

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Designer-Ad2610@reddit

Mom: "you can do whatever you want, you can go wherever you want, but I want you to be the top of your field." This left me a horrible fear of tests or evaluations, to the point where I was having panic attacks before exams (took me years to realize what they were). Or I would simply not show up for my exams. Needless to say, I was not top dog in all I did. Impostor syndrome is still very strong, despite me being objectively very very good at my job. "but I'm not the best. What if they'll find me out? I'm gonna get fired!" Was the thing that gave me my first serious panic attack, and my manager had to take me to hospital for it.

Dad, after I had brought home one of my first computer games, got extremely angry with me. He took off his leather slippers, the ones that hurt like a motherf****r, and started smacking me with them. As I was trying to tell him my reasoning behind taking the games home, he kept screaming at me and beating me, telling me I could say whatever I wanted, but it'll never be enough. To this day, I always lose my mind when people interrupt me when I'm talking, especially if I've done something wrong and they're not listening to my my train of thoughts....

A positive one now - Granddad: "you've missed your opportunity to remain silent", after being caught doing something naughty. Or when I said something stupid or insulting towards some person. This actually taught me that it's sometimes better to say nothing rather than impulsively blurt out something that will scar someone...

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Pentax25@reddit

Me and my sister used to go to a house when we were kids cos we were the same ages as their kids. This one time I did something (can’t remember what) and their mum called me “you silly little boy!”

For whatever reason that has stuck

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Pope_Khajiit@reddit

"People swear when they lack the words to express themselves." - a high school teacher when she noticed I swore a lot as a teen.

"If you don't know the meaning of a word - use a dictionary." - one of my drama teachers. In my thirties now and I continue looking up the meaning of words.

"Stop repeating yourself! What are you? Fucking autistic?" - another drama teacher when I fumbled an improv session by repeating the same line. That was a spicy take which could have been received very poorly.

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Impressive-Car4131@reddit

“You’re not worth dealing with her”. My dad, referring to my mum, who is autistic and very hard work. I’ve seen him three times in the following 25 years.

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Shoddy_Juggernaut_11@reddit

Good morning Alice

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Due_Ad_2411@reddit

Saluting bloody single magpies and saying bless you after sneezing because of bad spirits. I’m not even superstitious but I can’t not do them.

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ElonStoleMyAccount@reddit

I once went to a party as a child and my mum told me to go straight to bed when I got in. I did exactly that, got in bed with all my clothes and just remember being ask why I still had them on at breakfast

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Gadgie2023@reddit

There’s been a few.

If somebody hits you, hit them back.

There’s no shortcut to any place worth going.

Don’t flinch a 50/50 ball.

Books will never let you down.

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Forward_District_9@reddit (OP)

Don’t understand what’s a 50/50 ball? Books do you let you down cos you get shit ones.

And if somebody hits you, hit them back was defintley a staple household comment in Scotland anyway 😂

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Gadgie2023@reddit

Love dies, sex is fleeting and friendships end but a book will always be there.

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Willowx@reddit

In sports, if opposing players have an equal chance of winning the ball, that's a 50 50 ball. So go for it and don't waste the chance.

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Ok-Noise2538@reddit

Probably when my sibling was hospitalised and was unconscious after being hit by a car & my mum told me to my face that she wished it had been me instead.

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DameKumquat@reddit

"If you don't learn your times tables, you won't get into Oxford or Cambridge when the time comes." To me, age 5 or 6. Had no idea what Oxbridge was but my parents clearly thought this was a great thing to aim for.

I learnt my tables, and in due course applied and got in. The teacher still lived in our small town and was delighted I'd taken her words to heart!

"Never drink alone" from both parents. I can't do it. I've had a medicinal hot toddy a couple times with no other adult in the house, but just can't enjoy a drink by myself. Given various alcoholic uncles, I think this is a good outcome.

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mh1191@reddit

I had a teacher when I was 7 or 8 who spent lunchtimes doing extracurricular history with me. She said she was sure I'd end up studying history at Oxford.

I ended up doing engineering at Cambridge, but that belief early on was a huge part of my drive. Especially given none of my extended family ever went to university.

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767676670w@reddit

"You don't have to talk too much, it doesn't make you look good" I was 7 and this was one of my mums cousins, an older man probably 30 who was walking me home from my grandmothers.

I don't know why, but after that I did stop talking so much.

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No-Sandwich1511@reddit

I had a teacher comment on my bushy eyebrows and flashing my dimples. I waxed my eyebrows to the point they are permanently thin now and I get awkward when I smile because of my dimples.

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TraditionalCrab9157@reddit

Let them run on... Said by my wee Granny.. it applied to any situation where she felt I shouldn't join it.

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lhr00001@reddit

Stop showing off, nobody can read that fast. My dad used to get really angry at how fast I could read books and was convinced I was just doing it to show off. He has dyslexia so I think he was projecting slightly though. I do still feel like I'm cheating somehow when I can usually finish a book in about 4/5 hours

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yolo_snail@reddit

I don't understand how people can read slowly, like if I try and read at talking pace or slower then the words all blur together and the page just goes blank. If I just skim read it, I can actually read it and take it all in.

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TheHonGalahad@reddit

"No use crying over spilt milk."

I'd just spilt my milk. The teacher that said it thought it was (quite correctly) hilarious. Six year old me didn't get it.

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yolo_snail@reddit

Someone dropped a bottle of milk at work and it went everywhere, I rightfully blurted out 'no use crying over spilt milk'.

Not a single laugh was had, even though it was definitely deserved.

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cgknight1@reddit

Draw kings off thrones and bankrupt nations.

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SweepTheLeg69@reddit

That's very eloquently put.

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mexicocaro@reddit

Shy bairns get nowt.

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yolo_snail@reddit

I think this to myself all the time when I need to ask for something, walk around in circles go avoid doing it because I'm a fucking wet wipe, then beg someone else to ask, as if that's any less embarrassing than just doing it myself 🤣

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Marmalade_flesh_@reddit

Second this, but I'm still a shy bairn

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Forward_District_9@reddit (OP)

Shy bairns are better liked.

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Forward_District_9@reddit (OP)

But loud bairns get a clout😂

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moooeymoo@reddit

Eastern European parents: telling someone you love them is SICK and is not ok

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RandomAccessMemory-X@reddit

If you are good at something, never do it for free, it's an old saying but My Teacher told me. It took me some time to understand the true meaning (after I started my first job) but I follow that mostly when it comes to profession.

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Moogle-Mail@reddit

As much as I hate my mother and am now NC, I still do remember that I was allowed to fail art and PE and not get into trouble.

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Smooth-Purchase1175@reddit

I don't remember much, and even if I did, I buried it, forgot about it, only unlocking it when I need to build up the rage for a moment of righteous anger (saving a child from bullying, telling off an angry or abusive adult in public, etc.).

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GuiltyCredit@reddit

When I was young, we moved to a rough area to flee violence. My mother said, "Don't worry, they don't shit on their own doorstep." Took me a while to understand what she meant, but she was right. I have never felt as safe as I did there. There was every type of crook you could imagine, and they all protected their own.

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Firm-Wear2736@reddit

Life's not fair and man they were right.

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Cara_Bina@reddit

I can still hear my late Mum "Say please!" Manners, deportment and good behaviour were important to her.

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frownonline@reddit

“If there’s any doubt, then there’s no doubt.”

“Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.”

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awkwardandroid@reddit

“We’re not laughing with you, we’re laughing at you” :)) school was fun

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Lana_bb@reddit

My Granddad telling me my childhood would be the best time of my life. I was a very anxious/depressed child so I did not take it well.

Seeing it as an adult though from my Granddad’s point of view - as a child he had lots of friends and enjoyed playing sport, then when he was 17 he had to go into isolation at a sanatorium for TB. He watched many of his friends die in there. He did finally recover after years in that environment and some rare operations. He then married my Nan and had a family that he loved dearly, but his work was literally back breaking and involved dangerous situations that would be illegal to put people in nowadays. They were poor and life was tough. Of course he would see childhood as a rosy, fun and innocent time to cherish. I miss him, he was so patient with me even if he didn’t always understand me. I was so lucky to have him as my granddad.

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vajaxle@reddit

When I was a teen my brother once told me that I'd be the type of lassie to "get those tree trunk legs". The canckle thing.

To this day I still check my ankles if I'm wearing something that exposes them.

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VintageWhino@reddit

I was maybe 9 and struggling to get over a wall. A friend, who had already gotten over said wall said "At a minimum you should be able to lift your own weight." Never forgot it.

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Millzy104@reddit

My Nan always said treat other people how you wish to be treated. Always stuck with me.

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Captain-Redman@reddit

My dad always told me to never trust a man in white trousers.

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frjack666@reddit

"It's character-forming"... When I went to the head of year to talk about being bullied, those were the only words out of his mouth.

I think they had a different idea of character, in the 70s.

Welcome to chronic mental illness. ☹️🫤

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Connect_Boss6316@reddit

"You're a useless, pathetic looser, and you're gonna starve to death." My father, repeated dozens of times till I was in my mid-20s.

I turned out quite the opposite of what he forecast. But the emotional damage he did is still there, decades after he died.

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schmerg-uk@reddit

Similar if not the same... there's plenty of us quietly here for you even if you don't know it (and more obviously if it helps)

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Squiggles87@reddit

My Grandad randomly said that when you enter an airport you are just a number to be processed. You're essentially a package and no matter what you do or say won't change anything. Arrive on time, do what they tell you and go with it. There's nothing worth getting stressed about. I don't know why but it stuck with me and I've always been very chilled in these situations.

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bajingofannycrack@reddit

I had the privilege of being an older couples first foster child when I was 15. They flipped their shit because I had this book out of the library about the police and laws. The man was yelling at me for hours coz he thought it was a sign I was obviously planning to be a criminal 😒 and told me I was going to end up living in a cardboard box in the gutter… They phoned social services the next morning and had me removed. Fuck you, Mr Parker!!! You were wrong!

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duowolf@reddit

Was told I was disgusting, ugly and that no one would ever lie to be me. I was 9at the time

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insert_name_here925@reddit

If you have manners and are kind, people will always think well of you.

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Vyvyansmum@reddit

My dad managed to deter both my mum & my sister from learning to drive by saying “ it’ll be too technical for you”. I learnt in secret- getting picked up & dropped off from college or a mate’s house- & passed 2nd time. When I told him I’d passed & my examiner was the local Chief Examiner & was a SHE he said that “ Is that allowed?”…. Then rapidly corrected himself. Silly old git. Afterwards his attitude changed completely & he'd happily chat about cars with me. He tried the same sort of thing in regards to swimming & cycling & again i was the only one who defied him.

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Efficient-Ad9932@reddit

My mother giving ‘mother of the year’ advice when I was a young teenage girl and got a boyfriend . She told me men are pigs and will have sex with anyone . ‘Any holes a goal’ Apparently that incredibly informative advice was passed down from her mother. She recently asked if I’ll be passing it down to my daughter.

Time to stop the generational trauma I think!

[-]

bababababoos@reddit

That because I haven't been christened I would be buried at the side of the road, no headstone or owt, just dumped in a hole and covered up so no one would know I was there. I was about 7 at the time.

Thanks, nan! (Who was absolutely not a devout catholic in any way, shape or form during life. Her funeral would have made you think otherwise.)

To be fair she told me lots of random shite. Still loved her, absolute nutter!

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Vyvyansmum@reddit

I got this too as an unchristened kid. I was told I couldn’t get married in church & couldn’t be buried in a church yard. I got married in 1995 when we only had the choice of register office or church. The vicar was more than happy to take our £350, didn’t care I’m not christened, didn’t care we lived together. I will be cremated & scattered on Danebury Hill when I’m gone.

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notThaTblondie@reddit

Someone once made a comment about me having broad shoulders. Not in a metaphorical way, in a literal you've got big shoulders for a girl way. That little comment has stuck with me since I was 14 and contributed to years of self consciousness about my build.

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keg994@reddit

When I was about 17 I was wearing a strapless dress; my ex told me I looked like a rugby player and then pointed out the little pudge between my underarms and boobs and said my fat was spilling out and I shouldn't wear dresses like that. Fuck that guy

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vimariz@reddit

Oh my god same! I’ve never felt the same since. Felt less of a girl but then it also gave me this false feeling I’m a better swimmer than I am. I never wear anything showing my shoulders and I’m 28 now!

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notThaTblondie@reddit

I've spent years hunching my shoulders forward to make myself look smaller because I'm so conscious of how stocky I am. Stupid thing is, that actually makes you look bigger than if you have your shoulders back. My mum used to tell me I looked like an Amazon, and not as a compliment. I am quite solidly built but I'm also 40, do a physical job and have a bit of extra padding. At 14, I was built like a pencil! I was a slip of a thing, there wasn't anything broad or manly about me.

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Candid-Bike-9165@reddit

Life's not fair

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MGSC_1726@reddit

Never get into debt. I’ve always paid every bill I owe on time and never borrow money off of people. Only get things that are absolutely necessary on credit (yes I know technically a debt, but it’s all within my budget and paid on time). Never spend like a mad person with a ‘I’ll worry about that later’ attitude. Just live within my means and funnily enough I’ve never had money troubles even on a low income.

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astromech_dj@reddit

My mum gave me a pearl of wisdom as a kid that I have lived by ever since:

“When you say something to someone, it can never be unheard. They will carry it in their memories the rest of their life, so stand by what you say.”

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VoilentPurr@reddit

Not a child persay, but a teen. I loved to sing growing up. I was in school and church choir in elementary and middle school and i got picked for select choirs and solos on occasion. In 8th grade i joined the jazz band and didn’t have time for choir anymore.. a few years into high school, and out of practice singing, I was hanging out with a group of friends and a conversation (which i can’t remember the exact topic of) lead to me stating jokingly “yeah, i can’t sing either” and one of the guys responded with “i didn’t think you’d be a good singer, not with the sound of your voice”. I’m 40 and have not had the confidence to sing in front of anyone since.

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TotallyTapping@reddit

Don't let it stop you now. When I was in the first year of secondary school we had choir tryouts and the music teacher told me I couldn't sing, no choir for me. I never tried again until I was at a works do years later and got dragged up with a mate at karaoke. We went down a storm, I then joined an am dram group and got lead roles in their productions. And now at 60 am in two choirs and will be singing at Birmingham Town Hall in December, and Symphony Hall in March next year. It's never too late to do something you enjoy.

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Vectipelta_Barretti@reddit

The first thing that sprung to mind was my a comment from my secondary school music teacher, who once told me, a bespectacled 12-year-old, that “boys don’t make passes at girls that wear glasses.”

Actually gave me a complex about my glasses. Cheers Ms Pritchard.

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adhdontplz@reddit

I think all the suggestive fanart of characters like Velma has proved that one wrong...

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jojosparkletoes@reddit

I was told that too, which led to me going out without my glasses and not being able to spot very dodgy men till they were inches away from me!

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Sardonic_fever@reddit

Same!

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Menyana@reddit

What you want doesn't matter.

Family comes first.

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RaspberryNo101@reddit

"Only a weak man is afraid of a strong woman" - it was on one of those old John Wayne era cowboy movies I think but it always rattled around in my head and I think I'm better for it.

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cutielemon07@reddit

My headmistress told me when I was 5 that I’d never amount to anything. I’d be diagnosed with ADHD and autism just a few months later.

I was her (sometimes literal) punching bag for the next three years.

Fuck you Mrs Jones, I have a degree now

[-]

vgdomvg@reddit

"then only thing which truly quenches your thirst is water"

Anytime I want a drink I go for water instantly, it's so good. I have no desire for fizzy drinks when I'm thirsty, or juices or anything. Just water is good enough for me!

[-]

Kitchen_Owl_8518@reddit

One positive and one negative.

Positive from my Dad - You can clean piss off the floor or run the entire business, but if you are not giving 100% you are wasting everybody's time including your own.

Negative one from my Mum - I thought you'd grow up to be better than us but you are nothing short of a disappointment, you could do anything you set your mind to but you are working in a fucking supermarket.

The context for the negative one, my parents left school at 14 and worked full-time for Littlewoods department store. The reason it haunts me is growing up, They'd tell everyone they'd be happy with whatever I and my sister did as long as we were working and not dole dossers. For her to throw that at both of us in an argument hit a nerve.

My sister took it to heart more and is now a Finance director of some tech company earning stupid money after putting herself through uni including a masters. On the other hand, I am sitting at home caring for our dying Mother having lost my Job in September because I can't keep my gob shut.

[-]

Caveman1214@reddit

First time getting a bus home from school, very nervous teen and all that, sat at the front. Literally 5 minutes drive to my area. Brief conversation with an old lady to which she said “you’re not from here are you?” Now this one stumped me, overthinking and perhaps a bit naive as I thought “no I’m actually not from here I was born an hour or two away from here” so I responded “no” she then says “I didn’t think so” and looked out the window. Always kinda confused me, absolutely nothing set me apart apart from being a nervous kid sitting at the front of the bus lol

[-]

JohnLennonsNotDead@reddit

Now then now then

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Robots1244@reddit

My severely depressed teenage self : ‘I want to die’ My mum - rolls her eyes ‘well I can’t help you with that’. I swallowed a bottle of painkillers two weeks later.

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whatsername235@reddit

Lived in a pretty small town where they thought it was appropriate to crown an 11/12 year old Queen of the town once a year.

It was a massive deal and you were literally working towards this 'prize' from five years old. The criteria was essentially being clever, pretty and having a wealthy family who buttered up the people in charge.

Friend of mine got it in a big ceremony and other friends got the runner up positions. They get whisked away but when we tried to approach them when we could, a grown man told two of us we couldn't go near them because 'you're not special'.

Essentially they pitted kids against each other for years and the kids were still supportive of each other. The adults took it all far too seriously and made it out to be a life achievement.

He volunteered for this every year and no doubt crushed countless kids when they were already quite disappointed. I hope there's a 'special' place in hell for him.

[-]

hhfugrr3@reddit

Headmaster, Mr Russell, in primary school said we shouldn't say, "I'm starving", because there were children who were actually starving in Ethiopia at the time. I still feel guilty every time I'm starving and decide to shove a disgusting amount of food in my mouth.

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terriblysorrychaps@reddit

Chip shop owner asked me at like aged 12 to open the door and I didn’t open it all the way, called me an idiot and said I wouldn’t get far if I couldn’t open a door.

Then sat there quietly and took his chips and cried on the way home. Wish I had made more of a scene or said something mean back like “probably won’t be working in a chip shop” but that’s rude to my current chip shop guy who is a fucking legend.

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CobblerSmall1891@reddit

Once in my preschool I got a perfect score in an exam. 100%. I never had decent grades.

The teacher said "I don't think I should log this grade as I don't think you could get this score yourself. I am certain you cheated"

Way to motivate a kid that did good for once. Amazing teaching.

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Lopsided_Soup_3533@reddit

I don't know why you're so upset they aren't your real family. A residential social worker to me when it was decided I wasn't going home to my foster parents (whom I lived with from the ages of 4 months to 14 years) I was 15

You'll never amount to anything - my head of year at secondary school I was 13.

I'm 48 now and I still think fuck you Sue Clarke and fuck you Mrs woolley.

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anoutragedavocado@reddit

When I was a child, my parents would often make comments about giving me away/abandoning me.

They would say things like, "We could always give you away, send you to foster care, and have another daughter who would be better than you. We'd love her more."

It's not a nice thing to hear as a child it made me feel replaceable, tbh and did a bit of damage. That's one of the many comments that stick with me to this day.

The joys of a dysfunctional family, I guess.

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cari-strat@reddit

As a child, my mum overheard their neighbours discussing her and her sister. The woman said, "You know them...(mum's sister) is the pretty one, and (my mum) is the clever one."

My mum is 80 now and I think that still hurts her every bit as much as it did seventy years ago. 😥

For me, it was probably my stepdad insisting I got out of bed on Remembrance Sunday to watch the service, right from when I was a toddler, because he firmly believed those left behind had a duty to honour those poor people who suffered so much.

I'm 52 now and my stepdad has been dead almost 30 years but I've always either watched on TV or attended my local service in person because I know he'd expect no less than of me, and I wouldn't feel right if I let it pass. 'Lest We Forget' is well and truly engraved on my heart thanks to my old man.

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No_Application_8698@reddit

When we were around 9-10 years old, my cousin and I asked my Auntie (her mum) how two ladies had sex - presumably because we’d just become aware of lesbians. She just bluntly said “they use a dildo”, and walked away. We were none the wiser, as neither of us wanted to ask what a dildo was.

On another occasion around the same time, we asked her what “the worst swear word” was. She just said “cunt”, then turned back to the washing up or whatever she’d been doing.

This was more than 30 years ago, so clearly it was memorable for me!

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Lybertyne2@reddit

You really are ugly, aren't you.

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ChairWeary@reddit

My Grandpa died when I was 10 maybe? 19 now.

He said one thing that stuck with me: “try your best at everything you do and nobody can blame you for that”.

It always pops in my head when I’m doing something that I know I’m gonna be shit at…

Love you grandpa 🪽❤️

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Specific_Till_6870@reddit

My nana told me was a millionaire, which didn't ring true with me because she told me as she was scrubbing the floor of the Academy music venue. A couple of years ago I asked her about it and she said when she was a kid her, her mum and her brother had a couple of nights on the streets after her dad hit her mum. They made their way up to Manchester where her mum proceeded to shack up with someone who also beat her and my nana; whether he did anything more illicit I didn't ask but somewhat assume. She said that now she's got a roof over her head, heat whenever she wants it, food in the fridge, trips abroad whenever she wants, a loving family and has been married to the best man in the world for over 60 years. She was a millionaire.

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Middle-External9778@reddit

Should of drowned you at birth

And

Freckles are a sign of beauty

[-]

Bluebell1206@reddit

A teacher once told me, “you won’t get any good grades and won’t get a job”. I’m a primary school teacher.

[-]

vimariz@reddit

When I was 9, my uncle told me “never, never have kids”. He had just become a dad for the second time.

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Zanki@reddit

"This school would be better off without you. I wished you'd never come back." Said by my teacher after I got annoyed at the kids behind me crushing me into the desk I was sitting at. I was the problem, not the kids hurting me. It took a lot for me to react and all I did was force my chair back into them so I could breathe.

"What do you expect me to do about it?" After my mum walked away as my cousin was forcing his foot into my vagina. I'm not kidding. I was screaming for help and she came in after far too long, screaming at me to shut the f up. My nan was sitting next to me, my aunt in a chair half a meter away and they just let it happen. Mum saw what was going on and just walked out. I don't know how but I managed to get away (I would have kicked him, but the adults would have hurt me more if I hit that little ass hole) and ran. I left the house. The above quote is what my mum said to me when I asked her why she didn't help me. She was outside, yelling at me to get back inside, I was embarrassing her. My cousin tried to sexually assault me, I was distressed and she dragged me back inside to be tormented further by her family. That's the day I realised I really was truly alone. I'd felt it for so many years and yet, I guess I still had a little hope. Not after that.

[-]

StarSpotter74@reddit

A friend at school "you're actually pretty" me smiling and thinking wow. Her, "yeah, pretty ugly" that was probably 30 years ago

[-]

Forward_District_9@reddit (OP)

A friend??

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StarSpotter74@reddit

Yeah. Friendship didn't last beyond school. Saw her maybe once or twice since. I don't think I'll ever forget it actually.

[-]

Forward_District_9@reddit (OP)

Same thing kind of happened to me.

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StarSpotter74@reddit

Quite shit isn't it.

I often wonder about reaching out knowing she's got kids herself that age we were. But I doubt she'll remember. It was a 'joke'

Are you OK?

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Forward_District_9@reddit (OP)

I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of you remembering it.

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okizubon@reddit

There’s a post-it on your head. That stuck with me.

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mrspillins@reddit

My Dad rang the house phone when I was a child and asked me to video tape Zulu (the film) that was coming on tele later. He ended the call with “Make sure you do it or they’ll be murder”. It scared the shit out of me. I sat by the tele for hours out of fear I’d miss it. He’d never said anything like that before!

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Previous_Kale_4508@reddit

"Santa's not real."

That was devastating.

[-]

Forward_District_9@reddit (OP)

My dad told me when I was two. So I’ve never believed in Santa. Never bothered me.

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Dismal_Birthday7982@reddit

Thatcher is as bad as Hitler

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Forward_District_9@reddit (OP)

Savage.

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Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit

"I love you, because I have to, but I often don't like you"

[-]

Forward_District_9@reddit (OP)

Savage.

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MrsForteskew@reddit

I think it’s a Yorkshire saying but my dad used to say “Eat all, drink all pay nowt, hear all, see all, say nowt” It was tongue in cheek as he was a kind loving dad but it always made me smile.

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Aggravating-Hat2287@reddit

When I was younger and someone asked my aunt why she never had kids: "no one to make me laugh, no one to make me cry"

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No_Simple_87@reddit

"Stop showing me scribble!"

I'd spent ages drawing that tree for you Mrs Bush, in the vain attempt you'd stop hating me for at least an hour. I was 5.

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MunkeeseeMonkeydoo@reddit

"The tallest man doesn't always cast the longest shaddow" My grandad used to say it. I asked him what it meant and he said a short man can cast a longer shadow than a tall man if the shadows are seen at different times. It means pick your moment or every dog has it's day kind of thing. I asked him who said that and he just laughed and said Me!

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Previous_Kale_4508@reddit

Local Bobby: if I catch you climbing on that scaffolding again, I'll give you a clip around the ear that won't stop hurting until you leave school.

Such a shame I really enjoyed climbing on the scaffolding. Nowadays they put big boards or cages around building sites. I'm glad I grew up in the 60s.

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Upper-Lime-3493@reddit

My dad loves telling me about the days a copper could give you a clip round the lug hole lol

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Purple_Feature1861@reddit

Something Lighthearted

When I was a kid, another kid arguing with me that humans weren’t mammals . I was like horrified he didn’t know and somehow got my group to put it as an answer and I was in disbelief at how he didn’t know this and how the other kids followed him.

Turns out a lot of people follow people with silly ideas and things that aren’t true but I don’t really think twice about stuff like this now but as a kid this was my first encounter and I was in complete disbelief and shock

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Sillyspidermonkey67@reddit

My pals got called to do a photo shoot for the school promo stuff. I asked if I could go along, they said no, they wanted more diversity. (I’m British Indian) but fair skinned. The teacher said my colour was too ‘limp’.

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OpportunityLost1476@reddit

In primary school a teacher tried to get rid of me by saying, "Can't you see I've got more important children to deal with!"

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Upper-Lime-3493@reddit

When I was 10 I threatened to kill myself and my mum said back to me “do it then, do us all a favour.”

My dad: “you’re the worst son I’ve ever brought up.” Out of me and my three brothers. Also 10.

Weirdly, I get along pretty well with them these days. Times change, ay?

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ohlordgodmakeitstop@reddit

“I’m just popping out for some milk son”

I MISS YOU DAD

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Forward_District_9@reddit (OP)

I’m so intrigued by all of these I want more info and elaboration on all of these comments!

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Itchy_Clap@reddit

A good man learns from his own mistakes, A wise man learns from the mistakes of others and a fool never learns

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Barnagain@reddit

If something's worth doing then it's worth doing properly

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Beginning-Leek8545@reddit

There will be a nuclear war in the next 50 years

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Junior_Tone8218@reddit

I'll pick a vaguely complimentary one as basically every negative thing said to me haunts me

"It's a shame you're here."

From a substitute science teacher who usually taught at public (paid-for) schools, after seeing me do well in tests and a few chats. My secondary school wasn't the best and their support for gifted and talented kids was pretty non-existent. I'm still quite bitter that I got to my 30s without diagnosis or support for ADHD but I suppose if you're crushing exams where's the problem

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That_Refrigerator534@reddit

Like a lot, love a few, always paddle your own canoe

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moon-bouquet@reddit

Lol, our version was ‘Love all/Trust few etc.

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Brief-Education-8498@reddit

I like that. Wish I'd learnt that a long time ago

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zcjp@reddit

Every payday put 10% away for a rainy day.

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GovernmentNo2720@reddit

When I was 11 my school principal sent me a postcard to congratulate me on my high score in the English component of the school’s admissions examination. She said she could see a bright future for me with language and words. I’m a barrister now.

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Nyx_Necrodragon101@reddit

When I was in Catholic School I had a science teacher: Father Thomas. At the time I wanted to be a nun and he asked me why and I said I wanted to serve god. He then asked me how I had come to my conclusion that I was to serve god. I said to him I didn't understand what he meant. He said:

'To truly believe in something one must constantly question it.'

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pajamakitten@reddit

My form tutor at secondary school said I could do whatever I wanted if I set my mind to it, 'unlike most of the idiots in this school' (his words, not mine). I got bullied a lot for being a boff/swot and it really affected my confidence throughout secondary school. I still have very low self esteem but I have never forgot him saying that because at least someone back then believed in me.

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Sardonic_fever@reddit

At nursery school and one of the staff commented that I always finished my lunch first. Now I'm the slowest eater ever!

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altm2@reddit

You don’t need to study science or maths to become a politician. Didn’t get into uni for years because of that irresponsible lie, but it taught me never to listen to any form of “authority” without your own input. Oh and also fuck them all

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Equivalent_Ask_1416@reddit

My dad always said "school days are the best days of your life"-in my case he certainly wasn't joking.

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PavlovaToes@reddit

school was my literal hell. I dropped out early to avoid it. I did my work in my own time, not during school time, and luckily still got my qualifications

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DoNotGoGentle14@reddit

On my 8th birthday, my nan teased me with “oooh you’re getting old”.

Aging has terrified me ever since.

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idontlikemondays321@reddit

I had a teacher in year 7 give me the advice that if a man was ever following me to loudly talk to myself as appearing crazy makes people feel uneasy and they’ll back off

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mohammedafify1@reddit

My dad [ RIP ] once said to nobody would success without failing, just when you fail get on yer feet and try again, cause nobody will help you but yourself.

That was a bit of advice that got me where I'm today, not sayimg my life was a platinum platter, but I had a lot of nightmarish days in Egypt and tbh here in The UK, but everytime I managed to stand and keep trying, I'm an optimist I reckon, that what I'll try to give my daughters.

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TalentIsAnAsset@reddit

What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don’t you get out of there and give someone else a chance?

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dinkidoo7693@reddit

“You don’t get anywhere without a bit of cheek”
And
“If you don’t tell people what you like they won’t know what you want” My granddad said both those things

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BTsksk@reddit

"these scores are too high for you, you need to resit"

This was during yr6 sats and I moved into a foster care home. God forbid a child in a good house environment can do better than that same child in a bad environment

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bsnimunf@reddit

I would have walked away from that comment quite smug. Maybe come back with the retort " I'm happy to resit but tell me what mark you want me to achieve so I can ensure I meet your expectations"

Then again it was year 6 so you probably weren't thinking of that come back especially with you being from a care home ;).

[-]

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