/v/irgin Lives The Board's Sexual Fantasy

[-]

ThatSignificance5824@reddit

as soon as cash-rich, nerdy autists overcome the (relatively very modern) stigma against soliciting the services of professional prostitutes, the better for us all

[-]

Dense_Impression6547@reddit

It's not enough to hire a professional.

[-]

DeadFuckStick59@reddit

200 bucks back when i was extra degen and that was for a good lookin one for an hour. you can drop 80 for 15-20 min of mid. their tismbux should cover that

[-]

Dense_Impression6547@reddit

That less money but mainly less time than I thought. UR in the US ?

[-]

DeadFuckStick59@reddit

usually its a bj and a quick pump n dump. yeah was US.

[-]

miku_dominos@reddit

I don't understand the stigma. It's much better than rotting in their goon cave.

[-]

East-Direction6473@reddit

Some Gooner den's are fuckin sweet setups ngl

[-]

Ice_Swallow4u@reddit

Just bang prostitutes if you want to bang prostitutes.

[-]

MrsCrackWhore@reddit

And half the time youll be banging a dude

[-]

ThatSignificance5824@reddit

it's not about "banging" prostitutes, it's about using their services (safely) to get that sweet post-nut clarity and allowing yourself to pursue women romantically in a rational manner.

[-]

DonnieMoistX@reddit

Or you could just jerk off ya degenerate

[-]

blandprotag1@reddit

Using a lot of “she” and “her” while talking about a man in cosplay

[-]

yumwins@reddit

Guilty Gear boymodder character who became the anime face of the letter people

[-]

Opheodrys97@reddit

You couldn't waterboard this confession out of me

[-]

Salaino0606@reddit

It's okay , hes anon , so he can yap about it with no consequences.

[-]

StartledMilk@reddit

I think we can be confident that 99% of our most embarrassing sex stories are not anywhere near this

[-]

IrregularrAF@reddit

Just seems like awkward sex, only weird part is the t word and that's just because it ain't my thing.

I got a short one, my ex would get that gorilla grip if she giggled during the act. So I had the genius idea of tickling her once and she pissed everywhere and sliced my left arm with her big toes nail.

[-]

Ok_Act_5321@reddit

Edit was not needed.

[-]

Omgazombie@reddit

Yeah, that’s what you think lmfao this shit’s light weight

[-]

gtaAhhTimeline@reddit

What did you do??

[-]

SINGULARITY1312@reddit

Your mother

[-]

The_real_bandito@reddit

Go on.

[-]

Deep-Perception4588@reddit

Why? It's not that embarrassing.

[-]

DonnieMoistX@reddit

Keep telling yourself that buddy

[-]

Deep-Perception4588@reddit

He had bad sex with a man in a dress. No drugs, both consent, one is a virgin, both are adults, no follow up. This is a virgin first time gone wrong, just +1.

[-]

DonnieMoistX@reddit

You’re not giving fucking dudes and claiming it’s straight the credit it deserves

[-]

MrsCrackWhore@reddit

Seems someone has trannysies

[-]

Opheodrys97@reddit

It's ok Anon. I gotta credit the fact you got over being blocked on Tinder by a transformer

[-]

Deep-Perception4588@reddit

I'm still a virgin and haven't even dated anyone. The anon has done more than me.

[-]

Fun_Energy_8833@reddit (OP)

Him confessing it makes me think that at least one part of him is still proud of it.

[-]

RetroTheGameBro@reddit

I decided to cum early

Fucking what.

[-]

deronkeldesmonats@reddit

"decided" and not "just came early"

[-]

jeijeogiw7i39euyc5cb@reddit

she

[-]

yousokiyosei@reddit

I'd rather spend the next 16 hours playing League than to be on either ends of this story. What the fuck anon

[-]

Dense_Impression6547@reddit

Anon was pretty upfront about what the fuck... You need more details?

[-]

IronSurfDragon@reddit

Only reason mating press didn't work is because it doesn't work with 2 dicks. Anon expected a pussy or something and got a nasty surprise.

[-]

Dense_Impression6547@reddit

It does not work well for anal period

[-]

king_sizesp@reddit

This is gay and totally true.

[-]

Dense_Impression6547@reddit

Prob more gay than true

[-]

Phteven_j@reddit

"Dated"? Seems a very grandiose term for what happened here.

[-]

Haranador@reddit

“Disappointed” seems more accurate.

[-]

Dense_Impression6547@reddit

Dissapointdate

[-]

HarryPhajynuhz@reddit

This is the most believable story I've ever seen come out of 4chan.

[-]

MangoShadeTree@reddit

wtf is "mating press position"?

[-]

Dense_Impression6547@reddit

A thing to google that you don't want in your search history

[-]

IrregularrAF@reddit

literally just anks up and weebs use it as a hentai tag

[-]

dwarfarchist9001@reddit

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mating_press

[-]

Lower_Preparation_83@reddit

guess the first reply

[-]

HarryPhajynuhz@reddit

Trap porn?

[-]

JojiImpersonator@reddit

LOL you guys don't let anything slip by

[-]

XanthraOW@reddit

IB students are also regarded

[-]

trainedfor100years@reddit

That was embarrassing as fuck. It would've been better to die a virgin.

[-]

aerosol_aerosmith@reddit

There was zero penetration he just fumbled around and came on his own stomach. That man still has his card

[-]

InvestO0O0O0O0r@reddit

He is an eternal virgin in spirit regardless.

[-]

35DollarsAndA6Pack@reddit

He's still a virgin.

[-]

Muxer59@reddit

"She"

[-]

ihaveahugedong69420@reddit

her

she

Anon needs to an hero immediately

[-]

DappyDee@reddit

Awaken

Psyop🐈

[-]

ThisTooWasAChoice@reddit

"I found out she blocked me"

Stopped reading there

[-]

The_real_bandito@reddit

Real and gay.

[-]

ElectricSnowBunny@reddit

I'm gonna start calling it the mating press position, that's just great.

[-]

Spacewasser@reddit

But it's an actual position already

[-]

ElectricSnowBunny@reddit

freeweights or machine?

[-]

Spacewasser@reddit

Depends on how fit you are

[-]

Dogwhisperer_210@reddit

Ok I’ll take the bait: wtf is “mating press position” and “crotch lift”?

[-]

Haranador@reddit

Missionary, but she puts her knees towards her chest/ in the crooks of her elbows so you get a different angle. Crotch lift is, I think, when hold her aloft against a wall with her essentially sitting in your palms. The entire thing sounds like op is trying the moves he saw in his favourite hentai and failing miserably.

[-]

Tinder

Grindr

Ftfy

[-]