Any Gen Xers fixing modern life hard?

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No-Band-9572@reddit

I think thats part of hitting the 50’s. You no longer feel the desire to conform. Thats where the IDGAF comes from. You also feel as if you are finally coming i to your own. Fully independent of society, technology, forced commitments, etc. there is a peace in living simply and creating a space for yourself wheee you are surrounded by only what matters to you

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seigezunt@reddit

I’ve basically doubled down into nostalgia because the future of this country looks especially grim, and I’ve given up on our ability to improve it. I’m basically self-employed and have given up on finding office work, so there’s the isolation associated with that. I’m basically focusing on writing a book and avoiding the news.

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Johnfohf@reddit

Yes to nostalgia. Been buying up retro games and all my favorite old movies on 4k because it takes me back to when things seemed hopeful for the future.

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seigezunt@reddit

I’ve been binge watching Columbo

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Juxaplay@reddit

I am disappointed. When I was a young adult in the 80s I thought we were going to be the generation that ended racism, sexism, accepted sexual orientation, better at environmentalism and making the world a better place for everyone.

Yet here we are and things feel worse than at any other time in my life. I guess I have lost hope.

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seigezunt@reddit

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Rude-Management-4455@reddit

Oh yes, you're right. A good friend of mine is a big time music agent and I've heard about the whole thing. It's not good.

On top of that, spotify has become straight garbage. Something happened to it recently and everything changed.

What, in your opinion, is the answer?

I was just recently listening to East Village Radio and loving it.

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Johnfohf@reddit

There are other streaming platforms (like Tidal) that treat artists better, but they don't have as many users.

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disgruntled_pie@reddit

Yeah, streaming music gave us everything we wanted, and ruined it in the process.

I grew up playing Nintendo games. When I was a tween, I became aware of emulators. I had a computer that was powerful enough to play SNES games quite well at a time when the SNES was still a modern console. It was incredible. Suddenly I had a library of every single SNES game for free.

And I expected that this would make me very happy, but I quickly discovered that I no longer really felt excited about these games. That ceremony of getting a ride to the store, holding the box, picking a game to rent, and only having a few days with it… all of that was objectively worse, but somehow made the experience more meaningful to me.

Streaming music and movies/TV have done the same for all of us. The entertainment industry is in collapse. Entertainment isn’t special anymore. Young people would rather watch TikTok than watch a two hour movie. Movies and albums used to be our culture, and that culture is dying.

I don't know why this jogged a memory. My son did some mechanical work on our Kia because I can't physically do it anymore. I know cars today are more complicated than my old '78 Ford truck, but I saw him watching videos, and it reminded me of me and my old grease covered Haynes manual. Sitting in the garage trying to troubleshoot a problem. Videos are awesome, but for this crusty old bastard, nothing will beat a well written manual.

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SheToldMe@reddit

I feel like I was born at the perfect time. Didn't give a shit about computers in high school. That was for the nerds. But then in college, I did use it and by my third year. I had my own computer and spent many nights connecting to the Internet, going and making a sandwich checking the status to see if it loaded yet. Nope. Go use the restroom, come on back. 50% loaded. It took forever to go to a webpage. But damn it was fun.

I honestly think social media though is the worst thing for our society. I'm sure that's what our parents said about TV. But especially with their algorithms people aren't even getting the right information. They're getting information that the algorithms think they want. It's absolutely affected peoples ability to socialize in person. I could go on and on, but I really blame social media for the demise of my country.

MooseBlazer@reddit

Those computer nerds who got into the computer industry, programming, etc. ended up making a pretty good living. Those are the ones who are retiring early.

I wasn’t into the computers either. I was a motorhead. Had computer programming in ninth or 10th grade saving the info on a cassette tape!!

I am the guy who posted asking “who fell into a great career?” last Sunday. The computer geeks made $.

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malinefficient@reddit

The motorheads kicked the crap out of me daily through middle and high school for loving tech. Jokes on them.

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MooseBlazer@reddit

Scarred for life?

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malinefficient@reddit

The irony is that as I got into fixing cars in my 30s, it was clear we had a lot more in common than differences. Sad, in retrospect.

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I actually went to college for computers, my dad got into them early on. As in he went back to college and got a computer degree in like 1980. He did pretty well for himself. I couldn’t do it though. I remember trying to learn how to program in the 90s and just HATING it. So I joined the army. Now I’m in LE and it’s honestly a great career. I’m not rolling in dough or anything, but I make 6 figures, have a solid pension, and my benefits and insurance are top flight.

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MooseBlazer@reddit

If I was making six figures, I would berolling in dough. Because I live frugally. That all depends where a house is though cost-of-living, etc..

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notorious_tcb@reddit

We’re not in like LA or NY with crazy high cost of living, but we are in one of the higher cost of living areas of the US. We don’t penny pinch, but we still have to budget and stick to it. Grocery prices these days still hit hard. We’re not driving fancy luxury cars, or even live in a fancy house.

But the bills are paid and there’s food in the fridge, so we’re no doing bad. Just not rolling in dough. If I get hit with an extra couple grand worth of expenses/repairs it’s still going to hurt.

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AgeingChopper@reddit

That's true. I'm one and I'm so lucky I did. Disability has come calling on my mid fifties but being drawn to comps so early has meant a career that I can retire from soon in my mid fifties.

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aunt_cranky@reddit

I got into tech just at the dawn of what would become “the internet”. I can now say that I’ve been working in the tech industry in one way or another for almost 30 years.

I don’t have a college degree. I’m just good at learning new things by “doing” vs listening to lectures or reading a book.

I love what I do (software product management) and will forever be grateful for the luck I’ve had in meeting the people that opened doors for me, mentored me.

TBH this is probably why I am sorta “meh” about internet trends or fads. Been there, done that. I’m good.

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crucial_geek@reddit

Right, but they were graduating from college, and sometimes from high school, at a time when programming jobs were starting at $30-$35 or more an hour, in '90s dollars. These days, those same 'get your foot in the door' industry jobs are a dime a dozen and start with a lower wage. There is benefit to getting in to a booming industry during the early days.

SheToldMe@reddit

Ah yes. When things were more fair.

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WrenchMonkey47@reddit

This exactly.

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Wise-Construction234@reddit

When my wife and I made a movie room at home I realized how drastically the world had changed.

’ll never go to a movie theater again because I can’t stand how shit parents have let their kids become - and these are parents of my generation.

Kids won’t understand anything but HD porn, gang banging and drugs if YouTube keeps this up

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Bitchface-Deluxe@reddit

I call it antisocial media. Reddit and newspaper opinion sections are the extent of any social media I use. I saw the demise of humanity begin around 2008, when suddenly all these brainwashed-sounding people kept telling me, ”cooommme joooooiiiiin us on Facebook.” I absolutely also blame texting on ruining communicating. Before I knew it, no one would answer the telephone, and would act put out or annoyed if I called to talk using my voice.

Now, people are in all these separate bubbles with black and white thinking, taking things out of context because they can’t see your expressions or hear your voice, and too many echo chambers from whatever the hell bullshit brainwashed them this week on Fakebook. I’m glad that I got to enjoy the prime of my life before all that shit destroyed humanity. Who knew that Idiocracy was a foreshadowing documentary?

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crucial_geek@reddit

Ha! During undergrad I was damn near done with school before I learned that I, as well as all students, had university assigned email addresses. I asked a buddy of mine who was working in one of the libraries what they were all about, and when he told what 'email' was I was just like that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of. I mean, who would want to send electronic mail?

I think about this from time to time, wondering what emails were in my inbox?

By the time I left high school, we were almost were we are now.

It's not just women who want an abortion who are having problems. Stuff can go wrong with reproductive organs just like any other body part, and there's such a witch hunt going on to prevent abortions in states with these policies that gynecological health care in general is being resricted.

Examples: There's a condition that causes excess period blood to flow and build up, if it gets clogged and stays in the body that can lead to sepsis and dealth. The procedure for going in and clearing the clog is the same process as an abortion. This has noing to do with pregnancy but it's being prevenred anyway, and there have already been women who have died from this.

Sometimes a miscarriage can go wrong, not an abortion and not intentional on the woman's part. If only part of the contents of the miscarriage naturally come out on thier own and part of it stays stuck in the body that can lead to sepsis and death. The procedure to help a woman in this situation is the same process as an abortion, so is also being prevented.

Here's another example, medications that can help prevent a mother from dieing of blood loss at the end of the birthing process are being restricted. https://lailluminator.com/2024/11/14/texas-drugs/

I totally agree you you. The 1970s & '80s may have been a high water mark for western society in general. I'm not being myopic -- I know deep problems existed in America and elsewhere. But that tiny flame of light that slowly emerged from The 18th Century Enlightenment burned its brightest in the 1970s. Humanism (the idea that rational humans could make things better) was at it's apex. There was a general trust in Reason and science and journalism and the institutions of civil society. Facts existed and were acknowledge by (almost) everyone.

As you said, Americans were free to be and do what they wanted. (Who else watched Free to be You and Me every year in elementary school??). TV programs were almost entirely about middle-class people doing middle-class things. Nobody fawned over oligarchs and billionaires like they do today. Even religion was somewhat rational, dominated by mainline protestants and Catholics who believed in science and promoted decency. Politics was boring and less divisive because while philosophies differed, the facts were shared in common.

It drives me nuts that we have literally all the world's public information literally at our fingertips, and we still have tens of millions of people who think babies are being aborted "after being born" and that immigrants are eating household pets. It's profoundly embarrassing to have fellow citizens who are that gullible about the stupidest shit you can imagine.

If this is Humanity, then bring on the global thermonuclear war. We had a good run, made it to the moon even, but we are fundamentally flawed as a species. And now we've proved it.

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FYIgfhjhgfggh@reddit

Nah, leave the place safe for the other animals at least. Bring on COVID25

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rosanna_rosannadanna@reddit

literally all the world's public information literally at our fingertips

billiejustice@reddit

I love the Cures new album and have been listening non-stop. It was released the beginning of this month.

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Always_Today1111@reddit

Try watching The Cure’s live concert of the album on their YouTube. They sound excellent and they played their other songs for 2 hours more afterwards! It could be under videos or the Live tab

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The middle class was constructed, it wouldn’t exist without significant government intervention. People have sadly consistently voted to get rid of these interventions and allow the rich to get richer and the middle class to join the poor.

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Golden2Cosmo@reddit

We have the 'Key' MUSIC. As long as I have my music, I am good 👍

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YouOtterKnow@reddit

I feel like as a 42 year old white, straight, American man I was given privilege that so few humans will ever have. To get to experience with the analog, ground line, completely devoid of the internet world, but also be young enough to figure it out when it when it all blew up. Man, what an experience to see it change so fast. And at the same time, I feel glad to (hopefully) not be around for what feels like will be a descent into a place I wouldn't want to be a part of.

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pinkfootthegoose@reddit

At least I have music.

You won't have good new music in a while. Art dies in a fascist environment.

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HTLM22@reddit

I disagree. I think oppression causes upwelling of underground music. The kind of music that you can show up at the door, pay some cash, and talk to the artists. I think we are in good shape there.

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pinkfootthegoose@reddit

history doesn't bear this out.

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Bitchface-Deluxe@reddit

You just have to know how to find good music. Right now I am jammin’ to the brand new Jerry Cantrell album, “I Want Blood.” I think it’s the best solo album he’s put out, and there’s no such thing as a bad Jerry Cantrell song. If unfamiliar with him, he’s also in Alice In Chains. Every so often, I’ll Google artists I like or go on iTunes to see if they released anything new.

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Imthewienerdog@reddit

Now we are devolving into ultra elite who can dictate reality and everyone else fighting for scraps. And that super sucks.

Didn't y'all vote in Nixon? Who striped human rights? Or bush who decided a genocide was a good idea? Why is it now doom a gloom because younger people have more control over the narratives that your generation did?

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chillinjustupwhat@reddit

“Music is the best.” - frank

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JimmyFree@reddit

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whiskeytwn@reddit

i have some 30 year old guitars that still get love for this very reason

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uneducatedtop9635@reddit

At least I have music. ❤️

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Absolute_Zip@reddit

Yes 🙌 the eternal salve

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timk85@reddit

I might say that part of what you're experiencing is the adoption of this narrative:

I am starting to believe that our generation was lucky to basically catch the very tail end of an anomalous period in human history that was not without problems but had hope for solving problems for many. A middle class. Now we are devolving into ultra elite who can dictate reality and everyone else fighting for scraps. And that super sucks.

There can be elements of truth to this, without it being true in totality. I think this is a problematic and untrue narrative, even though there are hints of these types of things in existence – but I will say: they've always been there.

There was anxiety in the 1990s about the internet and Y2k. Real, legitimate anxiety. There was anxiety in the 1980's of a legitimate cold war where nuclear bombs would be dropped. Kids literally had drills in school to practice what to do.

The internet is amplfying the nihilistic narratives people are adopting.

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HTLM22@reddit

Um. Maybe? I mean. I guess some people that Y2K was going to be the end of the world, but the people I knew just thought, at worst it was going to be a hassle. Mostly a joke. And while I am certain there were people worried about the internet, mostly people thought it super cool.

I thought that you were going to say that every generation whishes for a bygone era. The theme of "Midnight in Paris", but I truly do think that post-WWiII, pre-social media, pre-CNN was a different time.

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timk85@reddit

i think every generation has a collective sense of apocalyptic doom, because they're all aging at the same time as their peers – and they see older generations dying, and younger generations rising, and it creates a unique collective feeling, but that's more just a human thing, IMO.

Y2K isn't really the point, the point is more that having this sense of dread, or anxiety, is natural to humanity and I think is found in nearly every generation.

It is true that some will have it easier or better than others – but your generation is a massive beneficiary of the last couple thousand years.

Antibiotics
Electricity
Indoor plumbing
Internet
Global food abundance
Shelter abundance in most advanced civilizations
Affordable everything from electrics to vehicles to clothing to furniture

What we're experiencing right now is really minor so far, IMO.

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NeverEndingCoralMaze@reddit

At least we have music.

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bankyVee@reddit

I was just posting about this in another sub:

I think Gen X had more than just a collective hopefulness for the future- it was an understanding that progress was forward thinking for the betterment of all. The belief that intelligence and reason was winning out with every new technological innovation. I can't pinpoint exactly when the reversal started but when people started valuing convenience over understanding was one big tipping point. Now the pervasive viewpoint is one of pessimism and skepticism with little empathy or understanding. People make their own close-minded narratives and disregard any sense of valuing truth or progress.

I don't think it was one thing like social media which marked the end of positive collective empathy. It was a combination of social media used negatively and a lot of downturn from real world events (9/11, recessions, war and covid) which led to the state we are currently in. I used to partake of the generational conflict because I felt GenX was lumped in with boomers whom take the blame for everything in millennial/gen-z eyes. Now I have sympathy for some gen-z coworkers because they are growing up in this time which opens up a whole new set of issues.

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Hrtpplhrtppl@reddit

First off, I'm not saying don't vote. Please choose the lesser evil, but we (voters/non voters) have always been and always will be the scapegoats left to point our fingers at one another in order to keep us distracted from any meaningful change. I mean, what led to this, people couldn't vote...? How is what got us here going to get us out? When you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. After all, repeating the same thing over and over expecting a different result is the very definition of insanity.

Out of all the hundreds of millions of Americans, who really thinks these are the best two candidates...? Is it a wise tribe that does not send its best warriors to fight? You see, your masters will never give you the tools to dismantle their houses... The Republic of America has a so-called "representative democracy." How can that be true when the "representatives" are wealthy while the "represented" are not?

American two party politics is like the cartoon Tom and Jerry. Tom doesn't really want to catch Jerry because then he'd be out of a job, and Jerry doesn't want Tom replaced with a cat that will actually eat him. So they act like they hate one another and put on a show for the masses while continuing business as usual in the back room.

For example, insider trading laws do not apply to any members of Congress, either side. What's it called when those who make the rules don't have to live by them? Furthermore, when the punishment for a crime is only a fine, it does not apply to the wealthy.

Sure, they can say they let us "vote", but with all the lobbying and money in American politics, America is as much a democracy as would be two wolves and a lamb voting on what's for dinner or asking a child if they would like to go to bed at 7:59 or 8:01.

In America, the wealthy have won every "election," and the only thing to trickle down in the economy has been their generational wealth. This is why, in a true democracy as the ancient Greeks understood it, people got their representatives the same way we would get a jury. America is not a democracy.

"Only those who do not seek power are qualified to hold it." Plato

And please remember what we were actually celebrating on the 4th. A cabal of stolen land entitled elite, slave owning aristocrats, found a way to get out of paying their taxes. Only thirty percent of the colonists supported the "revolution" with the rest saying, "Why trade one tyrant a thousand miles away for a thousand tyrants one mile away...?" System isn't broken it's functioning exactly as intended. Why own slaves when you can rent them for a fraction of the cost (read the 13th amendment)...? But the real question they must be asking themselves is how can their grand social experiment survive contact with the real time information/communication age, which is where we are now... Will they go full mask off?

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MapPractical5386@reddit

I feel the same and music was the one thing that always kept me centered and grounded.

I followed the same band for many years and saw them over 80 times and unfortunately as they have aged their newer music has just become something totally different than what I fell in love with and so I don’t even have that band anymore to go see as an outlet because I don’t connect the same way with them musically as I used to given how much new and pretty crummy material has come into the repertoire.

I’ve seen probably over 1000 concerts total and post pandemic I just don’t have the drive or will to go get bent over for hundred(s) of dollars for a ticket plus outlandishly priced concessions.

I see people paying thousands to see these modern billionaire overproduced pop stars that and it just makes no fucking sense to me.

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Astro74205@reddit

We really did catch the tail end of it, all the while we were being sold the dream. Even the younger end of Baby Boomers (some of our parents) are seeing the bottom drop out.

In the late 80's my parents combined income would be almost 500k/yr in 2024 dollars.

Or more to the point, my income today, in 2024 is almost the same as my parents combined income in 1989.

Wage depression vs inflation is a real thing, and has been since the 70's.

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RoxyLA95@reddit

Music and nature are where it’s at. We can’t stop the madness of the world but be can control how we interact.

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I’m right there with ya.

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obxtalldude@reddit

Before the last few years, I NEVER watched the same show twice.

The 8:1.5 format favors the creators and not the consumers.

All shows figured out they can release on this super low effort cadence and the audience will accept it. Just like all stores figured out that you'd pay $3 more for eggs once and now they will always cost $3 more.

I'll concede that producing an "epic story" requires a great deal more effort now than it did 10, 15, 20 years ago. Thinking about high FX HBO series and such.

But is Rick and Morty an "epic story?" Was Unstable on Netflix so epically shot in 3 fixed locations that they could only squeeze in 16 episodes across 2 seasons before canning it?

I'm thinking back to a time when a series could take chances with a few episodes and let the characters really develop. When you had 20+ episodes to work with in a single season. Sure, that always ended up with one being a flashback episode and that one dumb musical episode... but still, so much more connection to the story either way.

The best part was that in just 6 months you'd have your next season ready and served to you weekly.

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KindBass@reddit

I remember when The Simpsons season premieres/finales were all anyone would talk about the next day. Just another small fragment of culture that's died now that everyone can watch anything on their own schedule (not necessarily a bad thing, just has some pros and cons). Now you can't discuss new episodes/shows for weeks because someone hasn't seen it yet. The only thing people watch at the same time anymore is sports.

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bajunio@reddit

As soon as the credits roll, landing on a busy signal as you didn't manage to dial your friend first. Hoping someone has 3-way calling figured out so they can add you in. lol

Being out of sync (and caring) is a special kind of isolation.

Reason 1 that I watch Korean shows and Japanese shows. They aren't so dark and negative all the time. They understand they can be fun and still good.

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AWSLife@reddit

Things are definitely not unfolding in line with the optimism I remember from the 90's. I guess I watched too much Star Trek, and thought we'd continue to improve things towards a similar future.

I bought into this too. I just thought everyone would be richer, civil liberties would improve for everyone, racism and all of the negative social issues would start going away, there would be more democracies in the world and less war. It just seems like in the last 10 years, it all has fallen apart. Trump even being considered for President just shows you how much this country has gone off the rails. I always knew that something like COVID could come along but I was surprised at how badly it was handled at the Federal level. It also revealed to me that 50% of the population are just terrible people who won't think of anyone else but themselves. Don't even get me started on Social Media, probably the worst thing ever created. I swear I am going to start smacking phones out of people hands if start looking at Facebook while I am talking to them.

I just thought the world would turn into a better place and it has not.

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Strong-Piccolo-5546@reddit

i recorded every episode of battlestar galactica in my 30s and watched each episode twice.

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Trai-All@reddit

Yeah things feel much more Parable of the Sower than Star Trek.

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Skellpin_18@reddit

I feel this a little bit. My thing is I can't watch hero vs. antagonist type of shows anymore. It seems like the heros start the show with the premise of goodness and superiority, only to have some antagonist show up out of nowhere who is stronger, more powerful, more cunning, always one step ahead. Its like an antagonist reverse mary jane syndrome. I know the hero will prevail, but they'll be battered, they will have just barely won by the skin of their teeth, they will have lost nearly everything, including a few loved ones, and a new antagonist is just on the horizon with no time to recover, or move forward. I almost want to skip to the end and see the final battle, and skip everything that precedes it.

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East_Reading_3164@reddit

Harriet Oleson Forever

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3_dots@reddit

I watch old old movies because the "problems" were so wholesome and quaint. No I don't want to go back to a time where a woman could only be a wife and mother, but I like to see a depiction of life that is vastly different from the one we live now.

Give me some overly dramatic Bette Davis expressions any day.

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Rude-Management-4455@reddit

That's a great idea

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Ok-Prune-3952@reddit

It’s funny I watched an episode for the first time a few weeks ago and I wanted to jump into the TV.

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Ok-Prune-3952@reddit

It’s funny I watched an episode for the first time a few weeks ago and I wanted to jump into the TV.

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HTLM22@reddit

gif

I scanned a bunch of old negatives I put on a digital photo frame and found a pic of me in the 70's that reminds me of Little House on the Prairie every time I see it lol

Life can be rather draining. I don't get the social media thing - FB, TikTok, Instagram, etc. I didn't get a cell phone until I was in my 30's and I only really use it for calling and texting. My email inbox is full of information overload and I find myself just ignoring them as I don't have the energy to go through everything. Needless to say I've missed a few important emails.

War is depressing. I wish people could just get along and live and let live.

Kids are insane - I don't know how they get their grubby little hands on guns and drugs. So much violence, robberies and theft.

Environment is going to sh** ... I can only hope the next generations will do better.

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MinimumGarbage9354@reddit

Fed up taking the blame for Boomers and yep have reached the DILIGAF stage. Happy to let the world burn around me now.

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MrAl-67@reddit

Even in the Great White North, things are getting worse. There has been a huge Increase in the cost of living, increase in crime. People have no patience. Get behind the wheel, and take your life in your hands. My motorcycle was and still is a great help, but the idiot drivers are increasing the risk, and ruining the fun.

I have been thinking of retiring out of the country, and becoming an ex-pat. Lower cost of living, no snow, and a more chill lifestyle.

What do you guys think?

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Kitchen-Frosting-561@reddit

Hey, stranger. Just wanted to check in and see if you were able to get some time off to decompress? Feeling any different today?

Your comments caught my attention because about a year ago, I was saying the exact same shit, and I think maybe I was feeling similar to how you're feeling now?

If so - I'm here to tell you that for me, the feeling passed with time. I think the scariest part of feeling like I couldn't hang on much longer, was the fear that I would feel that way for the rest of my life, and that thought terrified me. But the fear wasn't true

I didn't see a financial windfall, get a promotion, fall in love, or fix all my problems. I just noticed one day that I wasn't feeling that way anymore.

Anyway, I hope you're doing ok for today 🙂

If you have the resources to get into some talk therapy or any professional help that appeals to you- now is the time to use those resources.

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Jack_Q_Frost_Jr@reddit

I appreciate you checking in, thank you very much. I am feeling a bit better. I tried hard to take Tuesday off and put as much of it out of my mind as possible, then tried not to overdo it on Wednesday. I think two visits a day to moms nursing home was getting to be too much for me.

Dealing with all of this has revealed my shortcomings as an adult and as a person in general. I have a meeting with a lawyer this coming Tuesday, and I'm hoping I can finally get my dad's will probated without it destroying me financially. From what I see, it has to be the simplest version of this process. We hardly have anything. There's no multi million estate or complex financials. Once I have that outstanding task taken care of I believe I can really move on to the next step, because it's really hanging over my head. But my first meeting with an elder care lawyer two weeks ago went so bad I'm also dreading this next meeting.

On Monday I reached out to the grief counselor that the hospice provided back when my dad was dying. She let me cry on the phone for a good long time, and it did help. She pointed out that losing a dad and being in the process of losing a mom is difficult for anyone. It's also an existential pain. I can't help but look back over my life and regret pretty much every step. So, I've been beating myself up about that in addition to dealing with the loss of my mom and my father. No wonder I was cracking. It's not a sustainable way to live. Still, I can't stop wishing I had made different choices. I can't believe that 30 years ago I was also worried about making the wrong choices in life.

The thing I realized on my own is that I would go through all this beating myself up if I knew it would really help my mom and myself. But I don't think it always does. I realize that this will be a hard Thanksgiving and Christmas too. Hopefully keeping all this stuff in mind, and keeping in mind that it's possible things can get better like you said, will help me get through it.

Thanks again...

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Kitchen-Frosting-561@reddit

My good dude - you have an absurd amount of stress to carry around right now.

None of us are equipped to handle that much on our own, so let's hear no more talk of 'shortcomings'.

I'm really, really glad you have access to grief counseling. I hope you are able to take advantage of any an all help that may be available to you - this situation is exactly why it's there.

I don't know what's next for you, friend, but know that there's at least one complete stranger out here rooting for you.

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Chuck-Finley69@reddit

Keep it together!!! You got this and you're right about every little victory. The glass is always half-full and if not, find a smaller glass to use so it will be.

Everyone wants money because the cost of living in some areas is insane.

In the Canadian city where I love a 1BDRM apartment is $1,900.00 a month and thats in a low end area.. wanna live in a non ghetto place and you're looking at $2,200-2,500 a month just to put a roof over your head.

Peanut butter is $8-10 a jar (regular size jar) and a loaf of bread is $4-6.

Everything has tripled in price in the last 5 years and wages have only gone up about $2-3 in that same period of time.

On top of that we have a job shortage so if you loose you're job you're fucked, if you're just starting out you're fucked and if you hate your job too bad because if you leave it you're fucked. Its just fucked!

So yeah people are busy trying to stay afloat.

Selfishness and inconsideration have taken hold of the American Id.

Its not just America. We're not allowed to talk politics here so without getting into this pointedly or with any detail let's just say that the past 5 years have pushed a certain group within society to be very selfish, fear ridden, on edge and so easily offended that they're finding fault in everything and everyone and making others peoples lives miserable because they can't keep their asses out of other peoples business.

There was a time when we let people "live and let live" in this world, even if we didn't agree with it, we kept our mouth closed and let them live their lives their way.

That disappeared over the last 5 years.. and not only did "live and live" die off but a new brand of in your face bigotry was born and this twisted new position of hate and vendetta against people for no personal or reasonable reason has shifted attitudes and algorithms into overdrive in a way thats not been since the 1930/40s somewhere outside of North America...

The hate and division is absolutely intentional.

Our generation was warned against stuff (subtly; but openly enough that if you were paying attention you got the message); but many within our generation still fell into propaganda head first and ate it up like a can of Pringles 🤦‍♀️

Modern life isn't hard- the world is just fucked‼️

So now we have to decide if we sit back and let it fuck itself or if we do something before we fucking die to unfuck this shit so our kids and theirs, and the generation ls that come next don't have to live in the mess that was created when we weren't paying attention.

Will you rage against the machine or suck worthers instead?

Thats the question ⬆️

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HatesDuckTape@reddit

My parents told me it’s very rude to ask someone who they voted for. Makes total sense. Political parties have become the new sports teams, where the other side is the enemy. If you’re on one side, you’re every -ist and -phobe in the book. If you’re on the other side, you’re a communist, Marxist, baby killer, etc. Theres no black and white. There’s no compromise. You have to be all in.

It’s all fucking stupid.

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BIGepidural@reddit

You don't have to ask people who the voted for to see their general attitude and demeanor change as world events and news of different things spread.

It becomes pretty obvious who they voted for based on those reactions sure; but you don't need to ask. Just watch.

Also I'm Canadian so I have no horse in the US race; but watching you guys with a 3rd party perspective is just wild.

Lastly, I wasn't talking about you (America) this is global shift in general consensus and societal friction. But how appropriate for an American to assume its all about them 🤦‍♀️

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HatesDuckTape@reddit

I wasn’t insinuating it was just the US. I have family in Toronto. They say it’s pretty similar there too.

We lived in a time of constant fads and disconnection.

I have noticed now that videos/movies/music from 30 or 40 years ago are much the same as today and community is better due to social media.

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OldBanjoFrog@reddit

I have been struggling with modern life everyday. The more computer dependent things become, the more disconnected I feel. I feel completely dehumanized. It’s gotten bad.

I feel like the world has gotten greedier and more self serving.

I’m with you. Less consumerism, less materialism. I want to feel something real in this world

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BenAdaephonDelat@reddit

I feel like the world has gotten greedier and more self serving.

blockedbydork@reddit

Oh fuck off, commie.

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GenX-ModTeam@reddit

Bad days happen, but there isn’t a need to be cantankerous just for the sake of it. Take a few minutes and come back with a fresh look. You can get your point across without animosity.

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NecessaryKey9557@reddit

There is a spectrum of opportunity that exists between communism and capitalism. People like you limit their own thinking by engaging in these absolutes and false dichotomies.

There are mixed economies, where things like education and healthcare are delivered through socialist means, yet businesses still operate under the profit incentive and compete against each other. Best of both worlds in that regard.

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Vandae_@reddit

Someone is a "commie" for, and let's do a quick check of our notes here: accurately pointing out that undying reverence for a line going up is probably not the best approach to a healthy society.

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HayoungHiphopYo@reddit

Sad that he's right? Tech is only awful when it's forced to make more money every quarter.

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Ok_Coast8404@reddit

I'm a millennial, so I grew up with the internet! They say zoomers were the first internet natives, but some millenials were using the internet alot already in early or mid nineties. Life is like a psychedelic trip. I mean I'm sure it was before the internet through magaZINES, tapes, radio, TV, what not, but what a crazy thing it became with the internet. Everybody could have their own pocket of life with magazines previously, but with the internet it became like plugging into another world. I was there as a teenager (and preteen too, but the internet really evolved from 1993 to 1999, it became a new beast).

Vaukins@reddit

Get off Reddit then

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OldBanjoFrog@reddit

Will do. I will go touch some grass

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nicorangerbaby@reddit

can't put the genie back in the bottle

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ChardPuzzleheaded423@reddit

So much of this thread resonates with me, including the OP. OP you are not alone in this.

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4x4Welder@reddit

I want a nice modest house that you can't see from the road, enough money to be decently comfortable without having to work myself into the ground, and the possibility to retire with time left to enjoy it.

My wife and I bought a 1920 Millhouse in 2015. It needed work, had no central heat and air, was only 900sqft. But it was on 2 city plots in a small town that had been a booming hub of rural industry in the early 1900s. All the factories were sent overseas in the 80s and the place is just kind of a small town again. No bars, no coffee shops, nothing open on Sunday except Walmart. It wasn't bad. Sucked having to drive an hour when you needed something like school clothes or Christmas shopping but I got used to it. We paid $25k for the house.

We started gutting the house to do renovations and a remodel and my wife got transferred 3 hours north for work. So we up and moved. Didn't want to try and remodel a house and then try to rent it out while living 3hrs away so we sold it for $15k just to get rid of it fast. We figured the tax valuation was only like $17k and we'd already started gutting it so we didn't mind selling it at a loss.

FigJam197@reddit

Heard, other screen is browsing vacant land for our travel trailer as we speak.

Did an alright job with the kids, they are figuring it out. We’ll be close, but yeah we are planning on cashing out in 4 years and building an isolated getaway to ride it out, and help the kids navigate from a distance.

True-Put-3712@reddit

This is bang on for me. I just turned 60. I am negative, skeptical, angry , tense all the time and hate that no one has any manners. MANNERS... so simple. But ya... I am not suicidal but definitely don't care if I don't live much longer.

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ITguydoingITthings@reddit

FloridaIsTooDamnHot@reddit

What region of the country do you live in? I’m guessing the South. Non-urban too?

Moved out of the South to the Midwest near Chicago. Life is SO very much better here. Our neighbors are neighborly, we’ve got real community, local businesses are local instead of chains. It’s glorious.

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2Dogs3Tents@reddit (OP)

Northeast suburb of NYC. Full of entitled a-holes.

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FloridaIsTooDamnHot@reddit

Wow - it’s changed a LOT. I have a close friend from the area and recalls fondly all the nature. Perhaps they were further out though.

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amcm67@reddit

This hits a chord with me.

I struggle daily. That’s why I can’t let that material shit phase me. Actually it’s never bothered me. I’m over here enjoying the life I have remaining. I’m living with a terminal illness that has no cure, but does have treatment.

I’ve had cancer, autoimmune disease that destroyed my kidneys, forced me in hemodialysis and gratefully years later, transplant. I have multiple bone diseases. and currently my transplant meds combined w/my comorbidities - have caused huge bone spurs all over my body. The worst one is on my pelvic bone and pushing up into my bladder. Causing pain at all times. Not to mention I’ve shrunk theee inches and have multiple compression fractures in my spine and neck.

They’re also causing neurological disorders and they think the part of my brain that controls movement/mobility and speech has been damaged by the same medication that’s keeping me alive with my new transplanted kidney.

I am so fucking grateful for “modern life” - which includes life saving modern medicine. I wouldn’t be here without it.

I’ve found community and family in strangers online that are coping with similar situations as I am. Besides the support of my family and friends.

I did not have a good or comfortable life. I’m living hand to mouth having depleted my life savings, home and pretty much everything I worked hard for on treatment.

But - life is what we make it. As an adult I know this despite the choices that were made for me, without my consent as a child. I’m paying for the repercussions of those choices.

Sometimes it’s just about stepping into someone else’s shoes to change your perspective. Yes life as we know it, is disappointing and alien almost, in ways you described.

But it’s not on my radar.

I get what you’re saying & I agree the things you said do happen in varying degrees. I can’t sweat that shit right now. I’m too focused on making it to my next birthday. (Just turned 57 on the 9th)

My dog passed in August and I miss our hikes and walks in nature. Happy trails dude. ;)

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h00ty@reddit

I get the assignment, but honestly, I think it's flawed. Social media may be toxic, but let's not pretend the internet hasn't always been that way. Compared to the wild west days of IRC or AOL chatrooms, today's online environment is pretty tame.

And thanks to me it loads super fast. 😂

Seriously though I recall 3 second page loads being the goal, now we shoot for sub 1 second because they may go elsewhere if slower.

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autogeriatric@reddit

Well, the internet has been weaponized very effectively. A shame Marshall McLuhan did not foresee war in the global village.

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Seriously this 👆Echo chambers are a big reason we got where we are. (I realize I’m wholeheartedly agreeing with you and the irony is not lost on me 😂).

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CyndiIsOnReddit@reddit

And I'm upvoting and happy to see someone agrees. :)

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Senegal47@reddit

Yes, here we all are. Alone, but somehow connected, yearning for the connectedness we all need, but seeing it get swallowed up by what appears to be "progress".

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Thinkngrl-70@reddit

Yes, life is hard. Nature keeps me sane, along with actively ignoring screens for huge chunks of time. Yes, we know what is lost and have a unique perspective.

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Bubba100000@reddit

this one really resonates with me. damn shame really, people racing through life & for what?

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katorome@reddit

Im 58 , and i came from a town inside the silicon valley i grew up in a upper middle class area. . Every one went to Tahoe for spring break . 1978 is when i saw the change. All of a sudden people where driving Benz adding on to homes . It changed some people others it did not. Technology was important to me.being a musician I even taught steve Woz a major 7 chord for one of his songs lol long story came into the los gatos lodge i worked at. To me it was exciting the net was a open free forum of ideas. When i got depressed is when Twitter censored me . I thought you punks are the antithesis of what we started . Elon buying twitter saved our democracy. Cutting yourself off from the future will leave you behind !!We are Gen x its the best time to be alive

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brandondash@reddit

Younger side of Gen-X here.

For me personally the easiest way to avoid the phenomenon you're describing is to unplug from social media. Life is every bit as good today as it was in 1988 (better in many cases). I have friends I get together with every few weeks/months, neighbors I chat or enjoy a beer with, a garden I work on (the raspberries are taking over and deer ate my tomatoes), and a spouse that shares all my interests. Not a hint of consumerism anywhere until I look on the internet.

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FukaNanbu@reddit

I've 90% unplugged. I have no friends to go do the outside shit with these days...because they're all plugged in. I feel like I'm the only one who sees it.

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gmeluski@reddit

This is it right here, being intentional about getting out there and meeting people. I'm wary of how many people are ready to throw up their hands and meeting their perception of selfishness and isolation with their own version of selfishness and isolation. Yea a lot of people suck shit but there's also a lot of folks worth fighting for.

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Senegal47@reddit

I really hope it remains that way for you. But it may change as you get to the "older" side of Gen-X. Just a few short years ago, I didn't know what all the fuss was about my mother was making, about changed times and ways. Now? I see -- and feel -- it all too clearly.

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Bernie_Dharma@reddit

I know Reddit is technically social media, but I see it differently than Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, etc. For me, Reddit and Imgur are the only social media I use and I find it very useful to connect with other people of multiple generations, professions, interests, hobbies, backgrounds, nationalities, etc.

I may have never met any of the people I interact with here, and I can find others who share a common interest, or explore a new interest. Most of my friends are now are hundreds of miles away, as I moved to Tennessee in 2015 and my wife and I are little blue dots in a deep red State. For me, Reddit as a social media platform has been a way of connecting with others and a net positive in my life.

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pops2three@reddit

The part that gets me most is watching my kids navigate their lives. They’re in HS and I want nothing more than for them to share the experiences that I had at that age. Get in trouble. Make bad decisions. The connection to their phones and DESIRE to have us track their every movements makes me sad. They have lost the ability to adapt and fend for themselves. Not to mention how sad it makes me that they can’t do anything without someone recording or taking a photo, whether a friend or shitty neighbor.

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Swerbster@reddit

Amen brother or sister

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FukaNanbu@reddit

I'm also mid-fifties. While I don't "struggle" with it, the day I retire, my smart phone is going in the trash, and I'm going to drop an Airstream on a tiny plot in southern, inner-costal Alaska. Me, my dogs, and a boat to get to town ounce per month.

I once heard that dipshit Rush Limbaugh tout Microsoft, saying, "Just look what Bill Gates and Mocrosoft have done for the secretary." Well...it did make her (then it was mostly a "her") job easier...until they figured out that she could do the tasks of five people. So the net effect was actually increasing the mental burden five-fold. This sums it all up perfectly... People became busier, doing more meaningless shit in the same amount of time.

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mjk67@reddit

Nobody will believe me, but I said 20 years ago that social media would have profound negative effects.

My argument - We are not wired to be on a 24/7 news cycle, nor wired to assimilate thousands of viewpoints on anything in life -- many of which, conflict with our views.

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Ok-Cauliflower-3129@reddit

Yes the world has gotten completely shallow, fake, greedy and severely lacking in empathy for anyone but themselves.

When the bombs start to fly and get dropped, I hope it's right over my head.

Or maybe the aliens come and save us and we get the enjoyment of watching the world's leaders and billionaires kill each other over a scrap of bread.

Same with the corporate leaders.

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SugarPigBoo@reddit

I'm hoping for aliens too, but mostly for the probes. I'd be delighted if corporate leaders fought each other to the death for money. I have candidates in mind.

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Ok-Cauliflower-3129@reddit

Fuck fighting over money let them kill each other for a shitty roof over their heads, food and medication like the rest of us.

Make sure their family is with them too so they got take what little they have and share it with them too.

Let's show them what they put us through.

They win the fight that day they get all the above and get to do it the next day.

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RoastedDonutz@reddit

Yes without smartphones people would be too lazy to sit at their desk the whole time but it’s so easy with a smartphone. The smartphone was always going to happen at some point though.

That’s why pre-internet things were simpler because it was easy to avoid idiots. There wasn’t any place for idiots to get together and scream stupid things at you 24/7 like they can today.

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Rom2814@reddit

There are things in super sick of (identity politics is probably #1) and I’m burned out at work, but otherwise I feel like I’m living in the best era of human history.

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2Dogs3Tents@reddit (OP)

What aspects of today's world do you feel makes it the best era?

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Rom2814@reddit

Technology, ability to travel easily, peace, prosperity (even the poor are better off than any time in history), healthcare (I have gout and would have lived in misery 100 years ago), literacy, education, libraries, electricity… could go on for a LONG time.

The difference in quality of life, longevity, etc. now versus any epoch in the past is really staggering.

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Imthewienerdog@reddit

You are an old person of course you see negativity because the positives don't help you. You don't care about how incredibly easy it is to learn anything because you likely have already learned everything you will. the shattered "million tiny tribal sub cultures" have been true since forever we can just see it more easily now likely you are also have been in these tribes your whole life without realizing. There are just as many people currently who are "rushing around" as there was before, the media has just given these people a spotlight.

The art of slow living is dead. Everyone wants money and good looks to the exception of quality of life. Selfishness and inconsideration have taken hold of the American Id.

More money is donated today than yesterday. More goodwill is happening today than yesterday. Being selfish isn't a new trait invented by the internet.

For me, I find peace in Nature, with my dogs. I feel best trying to meter materialism and consumerism in exchange for a simpler way of thinking about my needs. I'm starting to understand why people become hermits.

plenty of people agree and do what they find enjoyment from. Some people enjoy consuming some people enjoy the loud hustle bustle.

Tldr stop being a doomer boomer and look on the bright side of life we are quite literally better in every single way than any time in human history.

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2Dogs3Tents@reddit (OP)

You sound angry. Why?

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Imthewienerdog@reddit

What part of anything I said sounded "angry"?

Population Growth:

1970: The global population was approximately 3.7 billion.
2024: The population has more than doubled to around 8.1 billion. MacroTrends

Life Expectancy:

1970: Average global life expectancy was about 56.9 years.
2024: It has increased to approximately 73.2 years, reflecting improvements in healthcare and living conditions. UN Desapublications

Child Mortality:

1970: The under-five mortality rate was approximately 144 deaths per 1,000 live births.
2024: This rate has declined to about 37 deaths per 1,000 live births, indicating enhanced maternal and child health services. UN Desapublications

Extreme Poverty:

1970: An estimated 60% of the global population lived in extreme poverty.
2024: This figure has decreased to less than 10%, showcasing significant economic development and poverty alleviation efforts. UN Desapublications

Literacy Rates:

1970: Global literacy rates were around 63%.
2024: They have risen to approximately 87%, reflecting expanded access to education. UN Desapublications

Access to Education:

1970: Primary school enrollment rates were about 72%.
2024: Enrollment has increased to nearly 90%, indicating broader educational opportunities. UN Desapublications

Democratic Governance:

1970: Approximately 30% of the global population lived in democracies.
2024: This proportion has grown to about 56%, highlighting the expansion of democratic governance worldwide. UN Desapublications

what part of western society aren't you proud of?

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2Dogs3Tents@reddit (OP)

gif

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Imthewienerdog@reddit

Life Expectancy:

1970: The average life expectancy was approximately 70.8 years.
2024: It has increased to about 79.25 years, reflecting improvements in healthcare and living standards. MacroTrends

Poverty Rate:

1970: The poverty rate was around 12.6%.
2023: It has decreased to 11.1%, indicating progress in economic conditions and social support systems. Census

Median Household Income:

1970: The median household income was approximately $9,870.
2023: It has risen to about $74,580, adjusted for inflation, demonstrating increased economic prosperity. Statista

Educational Attainment:

1970: Approximately 55% of adults aged 25 and over had completed high school.
2023: This figure has increased to about 90%, reflecting greater access to education. Statista

Homeownership Rate:

1970: The homeownership rate was around 64.3%.
2023: It has risen to approximately 65.8%, indicating stability in housing markets. Statista

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candleflame3@reddit

I've been thinking about how many of the changes I've seen are not for the better. The internet is cool, but I think we should have stopped just before social media and smartphones. I think that's where it went off the rails. The drawbacks FAR exceed the benefits now.

Also, the housing crisis. Many new builds are just TRASH, and are unaffordable so they don't solve the crisis. My city in particular (Toronto) has a kajillion shoebox condos that are just not suited to long-term living at any price. They'd have to cost peanuts to be "worth" the negatives. So I say all of that has been handled very badly and it's been hell on the aesthetics of most cities too.

Another thing I don't like is all the surveillance of all the new tech. What that means for privacy. Not just whether the cops kick in your door one day, but also the psychology of knowing that so much of what you do is tracked and that data is kept forever, basically. I grew up in a world where it wasn't even a consideration for most people. So you just ... lived your life. It was freer. I strongly doubt that the protection supposedly afforded by all this surveillance is worth the psychological costs.

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pinkdressblueshoes@reddit

We remember what it was like before.

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Logical_Homework_694@reddit

Exactly how I feel.

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SpecificPut2618@reddit

Best thing we could have done is let COVID run its course.

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Temporary_Waltz7325@reddit

You have only just started "to just 'not give a fuck' anymore. "

After a while you will no longer feel that technology has "actually ruined a lot of what makes us human and has taken away our Agency."

What pisses me off about technology is that I have taken over a lot of things for my Mom (75) that she could have otherwise do for herself if it wasn’t for technology… banking, online pharmacy, online medical check-in, online shopping. I live in another state, but I do all her pre-online check-in for her doctors appointments. If she wants something from amazon, she sends me a screenshot or a link and I order it for her using her credit card.

oh I hear yoU- Been muddling thru for a few years now- detest what social media has done to our world, our kids and my own friendships. Raised a kid on my own, took care of my mom while she was dying and have not recouped professionally yet and it all seems kinda of meh

but I am single, 52, empty nester and enjoy the birds in my yard more than people

I think about a cabin in the woods often. But I like good coffee and need a library nearby to support my reading habits ... But yup, I hear you on the being out of all the fucks to give.

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ohthereshegoes5@reddit

and fuck,. I am 53. ha, I am so out of fucks I forgot I got older this year.

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IceBear_028@reddit

Lately I've started to just "not give a fuck"

No glacier fed creek or beautiful lake, but I have a little chunk of boreal forest that works well enough.

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postprandialrepose@reddit

Hello, and thank you for your thoughtful reply. Of course, I agree with you — and I enjoy when I'm able to do things that help others. The things I do are my way of bringing light to the void. They matter, and I know they make a difference.

And one of our hallmark movies "Breakfast Club" was all about how fractured society was into little segments, as well as Heathers and most of the other teen/college age movies. Not just the 80s though, the term Balkanization doesn't date back to the breakup of the USSR or Yugoslavia that we all witnessed, but actually to the breakup of the Ottoman empire.

"Simplify simplify" was 19th century's Thoreau's solution to the materialism and chaos of his time, and advocated living in a cabin on Walden's pond. Fun fact, he only lasted 2 years before he left because he had "learned all he could learn from that life." E.g. he got bored.

I would love to retire soon and have a cabin in the woods in addition to a little apartment in the city. Spend most of my time gardening and stuff, but occassionally go in to see a band, friends, or a museum.

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nirreskeya@reddit

Fun fact, he only lasted 2 years before he left because he had "learned all he could learn from that life." E.g. he got bored.

Also he brought his laundry into town for his mom to wash.

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dickweedasshat@reddit

Thoreau’s cabin was only about a mile from concord and about 300 yards from the main road into town. He ate out regularly and would take his laundry into town to get washed. He wasn’t living out in the middle of nowhere. He was literally living on a corner of Emerson’s property (about a 20 minute walk to his house) on the outskirts of a then decent sized town - and he regularly got together with friends and family.

I’ve always found Walden to be more about practicing mindfulness than a “return to nature.” And I think it’s possible to live a mindful and purposeful life in the city.

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mootmutemoat@reddit

Yep, I have been there too. There was some interesting lessons, but the myth of it all (exacerbated by his book) is funny in comparison to the reality.

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Step_away_tomorrow@reddit

To answer OP I do find life hard. I tell my husband we have a good life. We are in love, have a great kid and financially ok but it’s still hard. Part of its life and part of it’s how I am wired. I wonder if my grandparents even had such thoughts and their lives were objectively much harder.

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sungodly@reddit

We moved to a very rural county when I was six, at my dad's insistence on the "back to the Earth" movement. I grew up on five acres where we had, at various times, dogs, cats, horses, chickens, even rabbits. The countryside was a playground. We had a tractor and a subscription to Mother Earth News.

Carthuluoid@reddit

I could have written this post.

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HumbleXerxses@reddit

I think social media is amazing. I'm so happy to have smart phones too. Aside from flying cars and floating skateboards, it's the one thing I always wanted that came true. What's this middle class? Just a way for some to say they're not poor. That's no different than the uber rich. Society based on class is what destroys everything. I was poor growing up in the 90's. It was the middle class kids who bullied everyone. So shove that up your ass.

Modern society? What's happening is you trying to hold on to the past. Constantly reliving your glory days. Al Bundy is not the role model so many made him out to be.

Life is harder because you refuse to adapt and change yourself. If anything there's more to experience and it's all at your finger tips.

Face it. You're probably no different now than back when you were younger. The main difference is, you can see the world and see our country for what it truly is. No more sugar coating. No more speculation.

You don't see how much potential you have to live an amazing life and experience new things outside your own microcosm.

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2Dogs3Tents@reddit (OP)

You made a lot of assumptions and missed the entire point of the post. It's' ok though. You have every right to do that.

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HumbleXerxses@reddit

I wasn't meaning to come across that way. In my mind it was more positive. I appreciate your response.

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PlanktonLarge8666@reddit

i’ve struggled with it. i still do, but it’s not as crushing now because i just don’t buy into it as much and pretty much do the bare minimum and just… don’t care. i get there when i get there, have no regard for what i look or smell like, i work hard until i’ve reached my capacity and that’s it. i spend a lot of my time just sitting in one spot with a coffee doing nothing but smoking and mulling over thoughts, whether it’s free or not free time to do so. always outdoors - porch, woods, field, creek, or hunting blind.

on a day-to-day basis i don’t talk to the regular people i encounter much if at all. i don’t extend myself for anyone or anything. i use time as a loose construct and just kinda move along without putting any pressure on myself.

i ~~sell my labor power~~ work enough to mostly get along, and if i’m not getting along i either just barely figure it out or suffer. i deal with the tangible consequences (financial, academic, social, mental health, etc.). my credit is not good, my grades are mediocre, i do not have a social circle, and sometimes i feel guilty about that. it’s very rough. sometimes lonely. sometimes depressing. but i’m probably not gonna be on my deathbed wishing i was on time to class more often or that the boss i had at one job for a ~1% period of my entire lifespan thought i worked harder. i drink good coffee, hang out with the people i love, enjoy my surroundings, and indulge in what i want (within reason). i think i will be happy and fulfilled by that in the end.

i am extremely improvident, irresponsible, and unreliable. in turn i’m getting through this hellish life with some level of enjoyment and i really enjoy my own thoughts. i feel very free.

2Dogs3Tents@reddit (OP)

You did good, especially for the kids. PNW is a glorious natural playground.

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doubleohzerooo0@reddit

I feel healthier in the PNW than I did in AZ. I lost weight, quit smoking and started exercising so that had a lot to do with it. Part of it is I've expanded my hobbies and interests. I'm more involved with my pottery and my bonsai. I have a small side hustle where I sell my pottery/bonsai so I interact with people.

I'm more engaged and old enough that I don't give a fuck what others think of my pottery/bonsai. That attitude manifests itself in my work and folks seem to enjoy it.

Now if you'll excuse me, there's a bomb cyclone bearing down on us. I better batten down the hatches and hunker down.

gif

I'm sad and I want to go home to Glasgow to end my days on the streets I know best.

I don't fit into this life. Less than 18 months to go until my van is paid off and then I'll get on a plane and leave miserable Western Australia behind.

It's almost time.

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sonickel77@reddit

Not surprised, I hated Perth when I visited, too rushed and impersonal

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SychoNot@reddit

I'm born 85 but grew up around other Gen Xers and I feel this way. I have an old group of friends from that era and we all still talk and socialize after 25 years. Outside of my small circle of down to earth people I feel like it's a coin flip wheter someone is a totally vapid self serving backstabbing piece of shit. Like everyone is trying to pass some kind of purity test or face exclusion or reproach. I think I come off as shallow, aloof, even pretentious to some people because I am mostly in this state of detachment. It has caused me to retreat socially and proactively avoid certain realms in society. There is a kind of feedback loop to it that causes one to increasingly "not give a fuck."

It’s just a chain reaction From one crisis to the next Too many raging factions Trying to beat down all the rest

To treat others kindly It’s just something we’ll never learn Our feelings seesaw blindly We want the universe to burn

Yes OP. 32M and I wish technology never became a thing. Connected but separated.

Def agree with your stance on not caring anymore and being hermit.

Lack of opportunities and flexibility and expectations super high all the time like it always has to be perfect.

I want to give up or retire so bad I can't do what makes me happy. Creating art, nature, animals, family + friends.

Corporate America and capitalism is the reason. Needa go back to ppl working in the trades + jobs that benefit society.

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f8Negative@reddit

Idk every Gen Xer I've met has had this incredibly selfish attitude about them unless they are like an inbetween boomer/genx.

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Savage_hero@reddit

It's amazing. Use chat GPT or other AI software to help learn new things or help with office work. Cut cable TV and get Netflix, exercise, and eat right... and stop watching the news on TV!

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Vylnce@reddit

I try to enjoy the benefits of technology. I have hobbies that greatly benefit from the expansive wealth of knowledge that is available over the internet. Technology provides me with a job with a decent wage and reasonable workload.

Young people are going to have to decide to boycott their phones and such. They will have to consciously build a better way of living. And I don’t know if they can do that. We couldn’t, obviously.

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ebeaniez@reddit

I'm a 30 yr old female millennial and I 100% agree with the transactional feel of things. I don't have any social media (besides this)and much prefer the old fashioned way of things. I feel like I've lost so many friends bc of it though. I disheartening. So many people in my age group get together just to sit on their phones. The art and simplicity of conversation is lost.

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manguy12@reddit

I find fixing things very hard

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Different_Muscle_116@reddit

I get really annoyed at how stores are now. Some grocery stores have moved beyond cards for their deals to monthly premium prescriptions to the grocery store. Transactions take much longer than they used to with all the questions cashiers are required to ask.

In this store sales for items have tiny print saying that price is a digital coupon or with premium membership . So even if I’m discerning about seeing a fair price I get fooled a lot and charged the (hidden maximum) price at checkout.

tallCircle1362@reddit

I like your comment 😊. I’ve never thought about it quite like you stated it. When people post responses that are of no use at all, maybe it gives them that feeling that they are important.

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vinsalducci@reddit

I try to meet the world and society where it is, while not allowing it to change the way I live my life.

I interact with most of society with a perspective of Passionate Detachment. Empathy, while remembering that we all paddle our own canoes.

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dkmcadow@reddit

This is kind of where I’m at too. There’s good and bad in nearly everything, so I try to keep my eyes open for both. “Gather the shards of light wherever you may find them” was something I read decades ago, and it has stuck with me. Closing off some or all of the world is a good way to get blindsided—and it tends to accelerate an “old” mentality. I’ve always tried to find something good (or at least positive) out there that I can be optimistic about in tough times, even if it seems minor, and even if I have to force myself.

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I am finding it hard because I was brought up with manners. No one says excuse me when they are reaching for something right in front of you or they block the grocery isle so you cannot get by. Then they act like it’s such an inconvenience on them to move a cart, you get dirty looks.

I got told off in Walmart for saying excuse me.

The technology level we have reached is good and bad. Allot of it like the Roomba’s, it is stupidity to need a subscription to run your vacuum. Everything feels like subscriptions on top of subscriptions.

Most of the laptops and computers are built so cheap now, it’s all just throw away or it explodes on you.

I miss the days when you bought a game and it was on a CD/DVD. I hate this having to download games that will somehow screw up or you have to do another update.

I now feel like this:

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💯. Around the same age. I just quit my well paying job. I'm tired of everything being about more and more consumption, more and more money, more and more stress.

Fuck all that.

I thought life would be easier the older I got, but holy shit, life sure was a lot easier when I was younger, even though I was broke.

I don't know what the answer is, but I'm tired of this rat race we've all created. I might just open a tea shop and chill

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Blitzkrieg-42@reddit

Hermit for 52 years! I love my life. I like to think of myself as a minimalist. I enjoy raindrops and insects. I’m gonna miss this country. I loved my American dream. Present mind. Be grateful. Prepare for what’s coming. We had it so good. Spoiled Americans. Be excellent to each other.

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radness@reddit

I’m also 54 and I gotta say, I hate the 21st century. People’s attitudes, politics, pop culture, even the internet. All garbage. I hate everything about it

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thetoadking13@reddit

It enjoying it as you will. Move slow, be slow, and let it be. Care little for what others think or do.

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TheGrooveGrotto@reddit

56 here. It's been a rough year. My dad passed in April. My mother's alone, living rurally in the middle of farmland. All our family is 1800 miles away. My wife is disabled. And I'm an only child. I feel like the weight of everything is on my shoulders. I'm perpetually exhausted in a job where most everyone is 20 years my junior (it's cool at times, but, I mean...I know. Like many fellow Gen X'ers, I'm very solitary, and I'm alone about 12-18 hours a day).

There are many things I do enjoy about modern life. As someone who is ridiculously inquisitive and curious, I can't get enough information. But then, part of me misses the hunt for information, unintentional discovery, exploration without being behind a screen.

I saw an earlier poster mentioned Rush Limbaugh being the decline. I, too, have been saying that for years. Sowing the seeds of division over the airwaves and the absolute persecution of Bill Clinton really started things downward.

I never liked Ronald Reagan or either of the Bushes, but when times got tough, you got behind your presidents and worked together as a country. What first affected our generation was the Challenger explosion. 9-11 was the second, and in the long run, was far more impactful on our division.

Tollin74@reddit

We’re heading back to a gilded age 2.0.

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BillDingrecker@reddit

I think it's just a blip on the timeline. We Gen Xers have a choice to connect with others - some are better at it than others.

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goteed@reddit

You Sir, or Madam, are going through the change. What change you ask?? The IDGAF change that happens to all of us, normally in the 5th decade of life. You see, by the time you reach this age you've had good things happen in your life, but you've also experienced the bad things as well. Most notably you've had loved ones pass on, you've had friends do the same, and all of this has the effect of making you realize your own mortality. When this happens your internal bullshit meeter goes through "The Tuning." That meter gets so finely tuned because you realize you only have a limited amount of time, and ya ain't gonna spend it on bullshit.

Now that The Change has started to happen you're finding your inner IDGAF. You are discovering the peace of being in nature with your dog, your striving for a simpler live without materialism. You are so close to your true IDGAF but you are still holding on to those feelings of worry about the selfishness of of society, how self absorbed people are. To achieve full IDGAF enlightenment you must let go of those things. Let the self absorbed tribal sub cultures circle jerk themselves into whatever they want. Just go meat tractor into the forest with fido and enjoy the bullshit free realm of IDGAF!!!

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ApprehensiveRoad5092@reddit

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Im_tracer_bullet@reddit

Fortress of solitude is the only rational approach.

2Dogs3Tents@reddit (OP)

Deep.

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SqualorTrawler@reddit

The only thing that keeps me trapped in this fucking nightmare is the need to be able to afford health insurance and my mortgage. I agree with you. I kind of hate living, don’t feel free, and don’t enjoy waking up in the morning. I find modernity to be vacant, and its overall aesthetics, rhythms, and values to be vile.

People seem to be irritated that I feel this way. I haven’t really enjoyed my life even though it hasn’t been a disaster. I don’t really have a baseline to know what happiness feels like and I don’t remember being a child very much.

I have been grinding through the workplace for 30 years without a break. I feel spent, used, and I don’t know what gets me out of bed in the morning.

The future doesn’t look bright and I don’t seem to understand anyone.

So I believe we all became more fractured and individualized - and while there are some benefits to this sort of custom tailored approach to information, there’s also a sort of “everyone is a stranger” feeling. There’s more alienation and there’s less intimacy in our social groups if any.

I believe it is much more challenging to find common ground because of how nuanced our differences have become. The smallest detail can become an exclusionary basis to consider someone in or out of your circle - being a vegetarian, driving an electric car, driving an internal combustion engine car, there are so many columns and you’re expected to have a viewpoint about all of them.

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ApprehensiveRoad5092@reddit

It’s the total commodification of the self that is the most unsettling to me.

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PiNk_FiNx@reddit

54 also. I live in this strange duality wherein I paint houses just like my uncles and grandfather, and his father as well. I still have my lunch in a sack, ehem, bag. I drive a 20 year old truck to work that I bought 18 years ago. It doesn't have ac anymore. IDGAF. I live with earbuds in listening to high voltage rock. At night, my wife and I sit and hold hands on the couch. We smoke some weed. We have been known to lock in on 'the Price Is Right' - the Fuckin Barker Era! Am I right?

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sayhi2sydney@reddit

I'm kind of all over the place with thoughts about modern life. In a lot of ways, I feel like we are totally ass backwards right now and that's so weird to come to terms with. I'm 50 and am disgusted by most of what is going on here in America. I feel duped and frighteningly naive because I thought we were progressing forward at an impressive and honorable clip. What happened to our melting pot???? Why is that suddenly a bad word? Hopped out of the damn melting pot into the fire! We're so freaking divided it's insane. But we're all actually still very much the same people inside. And we know it! But that's being undone fast. The media (social included) is actual poison for our brains, yet, it's all we do anymore. It's where all the information comes from. It's where the entertainment comes from. It's where the dopamine lives. I have children who don't want to have children because of the world around them. That's a sad sad commentary on how much we have failed as a generation. So, yeah, I bought a little cottage in the middle of nowhere that I visit to recharge from this stupid rat race and I have 3 years left on my sentence in modern society and then that's where you'll find me from there on out. Come and visit me!

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ShitShowcase@reddit

After busting my ass for the better part of 30 years to make something of myself, I fucked off to the woods, and have no regrets.

Now, I very well might be fucking off to foreign woods as my next step. I’m sick to my guts of the American Ruse, but it hasn’t killed me yet, and I’d like to keep it that way.

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Hussein_Jane@reddit

I do, but I'm optimistic that it will inspire a shift back the other way eventually.

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grandmofftalkin@reddit

As a kid I always looked forward to a bright future and what we got instead is technology ruining our brains. If I went back to 1990 and told my teenage self what 2024 would be like, where everyone is selfish and mental and culture is stagnant, I could have set expectations....and bought Apple stock

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Jeninsearchofzen@reddit

Wow. Your post made me feel less alone. I feel this very much. I’m only 41, so I am not Gen X (I’m one of those weird xenillial/elder millennial), but i really hate what social media has done to us and I am not looking forward to AI advancing, taking away creative jobs, etc. i miss the old days. I did not realize that I would ever feel that way and took it for granted.

The more technology advances lately, the more I am outside in nature, learning to garden, create things and read, etc. I grew up with the technology and always welcome the advances, but now as a mom to a toddler, I long for a simple less tech based life. My son watches 90s baby shows and I watch my old comfort shows to find some solace.

I thank you for your post and this thread.

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sav_bomb@reddit

Thanks for not giving a fuck just in time to vote for my generation.

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MessiComeLately@reddit

My expectations of life weren't high, so I feel pretty good about where I ended up.

I had a really tough time making friends growing up. I was lonely and had to work at it. I look at people who didn't have to work at it suddenly struggle later in life and blame technology or the breakdown of society, not realizing they've been extremely lucky if they made it this far and never had these thoughts until now.

You think nobody in the 1980s struggled with isolation and loneliness? Lucky you.

The art of slow living is dead. Everyone wants money and good looks to the exception of quality of life

tultommy@reddit

I'm right there with you and why we're actively working on a plan to move out of this country. Only part of which has to do with the recent awful election. We're so tired of living somewhere where the only focus is money and things.

We are tired of living somewhere with a McDonalds and a Starbucks on every corner. We hate that Walmart and Amazon have driven out every small business owner and local grocer. We hate that this country sneers at green energy. We hate not having decent public transportation and essentially having to own a car in 99% of the country.

We are considering a few places, but not one of them will require a car, or have a Walmart, or a population of millions. The fact that we pay and pay and pay into taxes and have nothing to show for it. We pay more than any other country for healthcare, education, medicine, food, and basic life essentials. We have crumbling infrastructure, education in the toilet, a massive homelessness and hunger issue, and there is no reason for any of that.

whiskeytwn@reddit

I'm not saying we were like the hippies, but I think our generation had an idea that these new things could somehow help overcome some of the shitty nature of our reality - when we thought things like anyone can release an album and sell a million copies cause it's on the internet where anyone can get to it, or maybe there would be less want as the middle and lower classes thrived in the new world

we thought we could overcome the selfishness of human nature, like the hippies thought they could with drugs and love - and we were wrong and now I'm personally like "fuck it - they shit their own pants they can clean it up themselves" - especially with people in thrall to a certain cult leader who has shit himself in the past and got others to clean it up

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WilliamOAshe@reddit

Husband and I are your age, and we've been feeling the same way. Over the past two years, we've been focusing on eliminating from our circle those people who don't vibe the same way we do (dramatically accelerated by the election). By your 50s, many of the people you know are likely people from other periods of your life. . . they may not be a good fit anymore. As we've let go of some of these people, we're finding room to invite in new acquaintances who do fit our slower, easier mindset. It's not a fix for the world, but our energy is now spent on people and projects that bring us happiness.

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2Dogs3Tents@reddit (OP)

This is the way. re-focus locally and on common interest and good communication.

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throwawayforLA111@reddit

More immigration will fix this.

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bookishsquirrel@reddit

I enjoy modern life. I have grown intolerant of modern humans, so I am living the urban hermit life. All our modern conveniences make face-to-face interaction with people nearly completely unnecessary.

Thankfully social media has made most people dumb and incurious so it is very easy to hide from them.

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Creepy_Letter_2237@reddit

It’s not just Gen X. I’m a late millennial (43) that relates much more to Gen X. You nailed my sentiments in your original post. I have a wife and 3 kids so it’s a constant back and forth between, “well at least I always have my family and my health so to hell with everything else.” And “oh my god it’s going to get worse for my kids.”

I recommend spending some time with Zen Buddhism it has helped me immensely. Charlotte Joko Beck is a good one to check out.

I believe what you are seeking is freedom, and I have just the prescription...

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2Dogs3Tents@reddit (OP)

Alllll riiight now......

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MareOfDalmatia@reddit

A lot of responses reference watching old movies and TV shows, and I find myself being comforted by them as well, almost to too much of extent, where I’d rather go back to those times than live in modern society.

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Worldly_Antelope7263@reddit

I see what you're saying but I also know that you can opt out of much of what you don't like. Plenty of people aren't into money and enjoy the same things you do. When I read what you wrote, I got the sense that you need some new friends. People who get you and share the same interests. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised to find like-minded people to enjoy your life with, if you're willing to put yourself out there to find them.

If you want advice, I suggest making a list of things you enjoy and looking for ways to make them social to help you develop that sense of community you're looking for. For example, there are several hiking groups in my area. If your city/town doesn't already have one, start one and see what happens. I'm sure that once you start looking, you'll find more and more things to try.

Also, I'm very much like you. I live an intentionally slower pace of life, I'm more of a saver than a spender, I love nature and hiking, love my dog, and wish community was easier to find. I get it.

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mazopheliac@reddit

Meh. Society has always been shit.

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stucon77@reddit

"Modern life" as you've described it sucks. Spending time in nature with your dogs sounds nice. For me I no longer purchase pretty much anything. So marketing and materialism doesn't drive me, or really affect me personally. I do agree that these trends, along with social media/instant information has spoiled a lot. But I just try to mind my own business and get outside as much as possible.

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Saffyr3_Sass@reddit

Fuck it’s downright impossible

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4rt4tt4ck@reddit

It's fairly common for a majority of every generation to hit middle age and feel discontent about how things have changed. Much like how your joints experience pains and discomfort for no discernable reason, so does the malleability of your brain to accept new paradigms. Though both of thede examples of middle aged "pains" can be mitigated by physical and mental exercise.

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Distinct-Value1487@reddit

The draw of hermit life calls to me, too. Just can't find the right place to hermit yet, but when I do, that'll be it for me and society. I'm not a fan of most other humans, so face-to-face interaction can diaf.

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CaptMixTape@reddit

Preach on. I feel this

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pballerbyday@reddit

You’re hanging with the wrong people

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ceedub93@reddit

I’ll let Bilbo take this.

‘I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.’

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WanderThinker@reddit

I'm 45. Divorced with no children. I live alone with a dog and two cats. The cats are not very affectionate and yell at me in the morning until I feed them breakfast.

I don't really have any close friends. All the people I grew up with started families and eventually just faded away. I do still have some friends I see maybe twice a year, but nobody I hang out with on a regular basis.

I am OK in my career. I have a nice little house. I go to the gym three times a week and lift to stay in shape. My beer gut is still hanging around because... well... I drink a lot of beer.

I've begun going to local restaurants that have bars and hanging out. I found a local spot that has music bingo on Monday nights and have been making that a weekly outing. I've become a regular and have made some new friends that way, so things are good.

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Dangerous-Cash-2176@reddit

OP, where have you been? This has been a consistent complaint about American life for more than a half century since the end of WWII, and it’s only accelerated during the Neoliberal Era, 1981-present, essentially Reagan onwards. It’s not ‘modern’ life and technology that’s the problem. It’s our choice of government and their policies. Tax cuts for the rich, deregulation, environmental degradation and a slow but steady annihilation of the New Deal and Great Society legislation.

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shotparrot@reddit

Agreed. Conservatives ruining everything

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anthymeria@reddit

I'm pretty sure that if you lean into not giving a fuck, modern life does get easier. It sounds like you see the path, but resist the pull.

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Mrs-Ethel-Potter@reddit

One of the most defining characteristics of Gen-X is that we have been more or less continuously blasted by "hype" our whole lives, and the bottom line became that while some of the hyped things have been good and worth it, they have all carried with them a huge load of bullshit and nonsense. No wonder we're cynical.

Rockosayz@reddit

No, 51 here and outside of a "failed marriage" that produced 2 outstanding kids, 1 finishing up her last year in residency and the other is flourishing in biotech research. Lifes been great, I retired at 48, sold off my firm, bought a vineyard in norcal and life is good.

I go through phases where Im off the grid and it boosts my mental health tremendously. I also find traveling internationally to get away from it all, is a great palete cleanser.

I find modern life filled with about the same amount of unintelligent people as I did growing up… the only response for me was to move away from people to here:

and I don't know how to fix it without accidentally starting my own cult.

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zoiks66@reddit

This person insinuates that they used to give a fuck. This person cannot possibly be GenX.

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royaltrux@reddit

Wait till you learn who our next dictator is going to be!

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bismarque22@reddit

Yep, but this was happening before social media as well. Robert Putnam wrote a really good book about it called "Bowling Alone". We also have a dearth of so-called third places that is not incidentally connected to our oligarchs hating unions and the kind of free time to talk amongst ourselves that we experienced during the pandemic.

This guy talks about third places here in a really interesting way.

https://youtu.be/MD_CMrCpBMc

And also non-spaces.

SocialChangeNow@reddit

I would say people need to start sending their kids outside to play and climb a tree or pickup football, but every time someone dies that, some Karen calls the cops on them and they get their child taken away by CPS.

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hiro111@reddit

I honestly feel a lot of this myself and you've articulated it well. This is called a "mid life crisis" lol.

At some point, the endless bullshit, hypocrisy, wastefulness and idiocy of everyday life starts to bite. You just hit your tolerance. It's especially bad when you realize that you are part of the problem. You find yourself modeling the exact same behaviors that drive you crazy in others. There's also reckoning with the fact that no one here gets it alive.

Like you said, you have to disengage from the news, the Internet, work and chores. A hard bike ride, fresh air, a few chapters of LOTR, a conversation with my wife, calling my daughters or getting a beer with friends helps me feel human again.

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SlipstreamSleuth@reddit

I surround myself with kind, curious, likeminded people. My circle is small and I have an incredible husband and two sweet dogs. Anything online or social media is specifically curated to what brings me joy and makes me smile. I scroll by the junk.

Low-Research-6866@reddit

Yes. I wish social media never happened, actually cell phones. We are much too connected and we hear too much bad news where there is nothing we can do.
I adore this times embrace of psychology though, we sorely needed that. I guess now we know how our grandparents felt.

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potential_hermit@reddit

I’m 50 and tired. Burned out. Deflated and defeated. I don’t feel like I belong in this “society” anymore. I hate the tribalism, I feel like social media algorithms have damaged our world more than AI ever will, I feel like our government has failed to protect its citizens and the U.S. from corruption, greed and exploitation. The religion I grew up on has been hijacked and weaponized, and it no longer even remotely resembles the teachings I learned growing up in the church. My health is failing me, I’m divorced after 23 years of marriage, and I’m an empty-nester in a house full of things I no longer want. I feel like I’m stuck between two worlds—the analog, slower world I spent half my life in and the digital, hyper-paced world of today. So, I learned to play guitar a couple of years ago and started writing songs to ease my mind. I got out of the corporate world and started working for myself. I started going to therapy. I won’t give up trying to live a good life and being a good person with a big heart, even though it’s sometimes crushing.

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2Dogs3Tents@reddit (OP)

Thank you for your open and honest reply. Day by day is all we can do in the face of it all.

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Low-Research-6866@reddit

Yes. I wish social media never happened, actually cell phones. We are much too connected and we hear too much bad news where there is nothing we can do.
I adore this times embrace of psychology though, we sorely needed that. I guess now we know how our grandparents felt.

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MyFriendHasMaladies@reddit

Um...
For some of us there was never a feeling of cohesion in our society.

For some of us, modern living is just same shit different day.

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npatel54r@reddit

Totally agree. Feel the same. Got so irriated with it all, left my 100k+ career at 40y.o.a and now live a simple life - stop buying stuff u don't need, focus on eating well, excercise and cooking at home than eating outside processed garbage food that America offers. Also min use of phone (tho some extended family didn't take it well & think i am being anti social - guess if it makes me happy, that is all that counts- stopped worrying about what ohter ppl think & what they want me to be LOL). Even music, when i listen to 80s stuff, jsut magical compared to todays stuff.

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mixiplix_@reddit

This feeling is a product of social media, I believe.

Things aren't that much different from the 80s and 90s. the only difference is that every bad thing is posted and thrown out into the open and influencing our interpretation of things, making it seem like everything is bad and about to crumble.

The best thing I did was get off of Facebook, insta, and Twitter. The only social media app I have is reddit.

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Sad_Support_2471@reddit

Born with autism and raised poor. My parents spent the money i was supposed to go to college with and now at 45, I'm always a medical bill away from being homeless while everyone in my family has had help buying a home and is ready to retire. Suicide is always on my mind

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It's is what it is. I mostly feel not part 9f modern life. That's fine with me.

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2Dogs3Tents@reddit (OP)

user name checks out.

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MercutiosLament@reddit

When I was young, I was prepared for a very different life than the one I am experiencing. I was guided to believe that I was too smart not to find a great job, too nice not to find myself a good romantic partner and start a family, that eventually I’d be able to afford my own house and make my own niche in the world.

I came to find quickly it didn’t matter that I was the smartest person in the room… it wasn’t what you know, but who. I was nice, but only considered a romantic option by partners that saw me as “safe”… which makes everyone involved miserable. I’m living paycheck to paycheck in a tiny little rental apartment, and watching as the world around me embraces fascists, racists, and pedophiles. No family. Alone. And just… shuffling along until the day when I fall down one more time than I can get up.

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2Dogs3Tents@reddit (OP)

I see you.

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Wise-Construction234@reddit

Your dogs and your family will always keep you sane.

You’re not losing it - people are going to shit

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GenXJay@reddit

Really enjoying my 50's (55M). I'm fortunate to have married my high school sweetheart and growing old(er) together. Definitely had our ups and downs but we've had each other. News and Social Media has ruined a lot of relationships that would normally be solved just by talking with each other instead of Algorithms fueling each's point of views only in their apps. I work in I.T. so I'm very comfortable with it.

I had a talk recently about how in High School (1987) we had a class called Current events. It was all around media bias. No Internet obviously. So Newspaper, Radio and TV. They showed how to see how each was skewed reporting on the same subject. I can't believe how people now just take their one news source and run with it. Everyone knows how tilted each side is but are complacent with having their political view justified without considering any other point of view.

That is all. Not get off my lawn!

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shotparrot@reddit

Incorrect. The right is skewed and distorted. The left media is what used to be normal.

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FemmePotenza@reddit

Getting old is hard in the best of circumstances. It’s the tragic hallmark of the human condition.

In terms of being fed up with society, I think all eras have there reasons to fret. We grew up expecting nuclear Armageddon.

There are major challenges these days, and grave concerns. But in any age, the work is to steel ourselves as best we can and try to make it better.

Imagine growing up in Europe in the late 1930s/1940s with WWII and actual Hitler bearing down.

People stood strong and did what was needed to overcome those challenges.

We can do it again!

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2Dogs3Tents@reddit (OP)

"We grew up expecting nuclear Armageddon"

And we may get it yet.

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I feel the exact same way. Therapy helps. Talking about it helps. Taking it day by day and finding little joys helps. Do you have some support?

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Slim_Chiply@reddit

Thanks for checking. I do have some support. I see a therapist regularly as well as receive regular ketamine infusions for depression.

I was diagnosed a couple years ago with Autism Spectrum Disorder among other things. It explains a lot of the issues I've been struggling with my entire life. Even with this knowledge and a specialist therapist, life is still an amazing struggle.

I do what I can though. It's all any of us can do really.

Good luck with your journey.

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Then-Fish-9647@reddit

53M. Same. My wife and I just ensconce in our little quiet lives, with the exception of Reddit, ha. I have few regrets, and I feel the change, too. This might be a validating video for you to watch:

https://youtu.be/hL0yfxDe6jE?si=DuPXP0UQTJ8ZPAYf

My intention is to have my obituary start with “…we came in?” and end with “Isn’t this where…”

In between will be the obituary stuff, hopefully snarky and a touch dark and self-deprecating.

Hope your meniscus heals quickly! Damn these old people injuries; my chronic tendinitis and hip pain is really putting a damper on my life.

But, whatever.

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Hoblitygoodness@reddit

I find it very difficult. I love my wife but taking on that responsibility has definitely complicated my outlook on everything. I have to afford our lives now and that responsibility weighs on me hard these days..

'Moving to the country' isn't an option for us because the company I work for has a 1 vs 4 RTO policy here in the city. Which means I'd be adding a frustrating commute that would chip away at any return on solace I may receive from out there. (To be honest, that life really isn't for me anyway; to each their own.) But my first point should be that we're being priced out of the city we live in.

I'm in Tier IV tech and I live in constant anxiety of an eventual lay-off as our CEO is up there with the rest who see nothing but raises via bonus, stock options and an incredulous salary level. I'm stuck at my title level because the company put a freeze on raises & promotions, leaving only their suggestions to climb the ladder via jumping teams through our internal job posting. It's an employers market right now so trying to find another job at more pay seems just about impossible and would still offer the same caveat of the sudden lay-off-at-any-time.

My wife, a wise woman, got us on the path towards non-consumerism and minimalism about 10-12 years ago. Less electronics, to a degree... I'm a computer programmer for a living and it's also a hobby... But we don't watch much TV at all anymore (2 shows, so when they're on, we see an episode a week). We occasionally watch the news, but not regularly.

We focus on doing outdoors stuff when the weather is nice. We were in the water (nearby river) every weekend (and a few weekdays here and there) up until last month and the day the water temperature is back in the high 60s+, we'll be right back in. But, you know, doing stuff as a family. Connecting in nature, doing something we all love (tubing), and relaxing. It's super-therapeutic.

We don't get into the whole consumerism thing. We buy most of our stuff from thrift stores, not because we can't afford new, but because why not "recycle, reuse, repurpose"? We grow some of our own food, more and more each year. I've been driving the same car for almost 20 years. Third car I've owned in my life and the only one I bought new. My wife and I, except when we were dating, have never really bought gifts for each other. We write letters instead.

But, it's hard. Society is definitely trying to get you to get your regular dopamine hits throughout the day, and get you hooked on that.

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BlueMoon5k@reddit

Been in my No Fucks Given stage for several years now.

oglumb@reddit

Can confirm. Am Hermit.

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BigDoggehDog@reddit

I wish things were simpler. Everything that is supposed to be enhanced by technology is fucked over by it. The job search process is a good example of it. It's basically become an online lottery system.

I wish more people didn't think that they were above the law. We've lost our sense of decency to ourselves and to each other.

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Kickingandscreaming@reddit

58 here married, and we have a 10 year old. There is never enough time. Back in my 20s and 30s time seemed endlees. Now there is just not enough time to get Work. Family, chores all done to enjoy "free" time. Free time has basically turned into when we can stay awake between 1am and 3am on a weeknight. Time dilation is a real phenomenon. Time really does fly. Why bother tsking down the damn Christmas tree when it has to go back up next week?

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summer_shade88@reddit

I chose mostly hermit with good tunes. Sometimes I think about finding a partner and then I remember I’m a hateful bitch and I like my space. Lol

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I find that i am a far better person than either of my parents and make more money than they did. They did not make much. And I find that everything is rough financially. I’ll never be able to retire and boomers seem dead set on murdering social security so they’re the last ones to get that too.

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NickFotiu@reddit

1970 baby too. We're of a unique bridge generation because we used typewriters AND computers, rotary phones AND cell phones, etc.

And so we knew of a life before the technology we (and younger generations) depend on so desperately. So a "simpler time" is not unreasonable to be nostalgic for.

I have lived my entire life in Manhattan, where it is very easy to fall victim to the whole chasing money and career thing. Yet I too enjoy a simpler life than those around me and live it, even within a fast paced city. Life is too short for me not to enjoy the small things, and I do.

Hard? Live isn't aways easy and some of us have more obstacles than others. What is hard about being our age is when we start losing people important to us. Our parents have more health issues as do aunts/uncles. Few of us have our grandparents. Those of us with kids are become empty nesters(though we might still be paying for college or have a couple of kids in the house they are getting older which changes our lives too)

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gloirevivre@reddit

Y'all keep making life harder for yourselves and everyone else by voting for dumbfuck conservatives who constantly and repeatedly fuck the economy.

But that's okay to you, because they punish the minorities you hate.

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WonkyTribble@reddit

Yeah. Same. As the Earth's population grows, entropy is going to become more of the mainstay.

Sad but it's inevitable

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SheriffBartholomew@reddit

Other than the internet, I opted out a year ago. We moved outside the edge of a rural town, which is itself outside of a tiny city. I spend every day in the wilderness with my dog after work. I walk around our property and think about how lucky we are to have found this place, and how much we love it out here. I suggest you consider dropping urban life yourself, and living in the mountains or the countryside. It's a different pace of life, and people are so much friendlier.

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feral-pug@reddit

I understand what you're saying but I have a different take on it. Becoming a hermit has always been the goal, and that's been reinforced in recent times, and it's a great way to live. The difference is that my notion of being a "hermit" includes my wife and our family and a few close friends, excluding the noise, stupidity, and wastefulness of most of the outside world. We've built up a good life and have developed a recognition that most people aren't really worth spending time with or on, and that they have to work their own shit out, and our lives aren't any worse for not knowing or being involved with them. Most people REALLY just aren't worth the time. We donate to animal charities and rescues.

It's easy to step away from modern life and disconnect to a great extent and just focus on enjoying daily living with the people most important to me. I'm happier now than I've ever been, in part because we've got a tremendous amount of security built up and very little reliance on outside help or resources. Part of this was accomplished by ending materialistic tendencies with regard to consumption, but not with regard to income - Make a lot, invest a lot, save almost everything. It's freedom.

You can achieve a simple life on your own by rejecting the garbage pop culture that people impulsively suck down. Technology did make everything worse, but it doesn't mean it ruined it... It just means that the form of society we remember from 30+ years ago is dead... And living with nostalgic dreams just ends in sadness and failure. Those old days are gone forever.

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DeeDleAnnRazor@reddit

Oh yeah, so much so much so much! I am 59F, I despise being out and about around large crowds and driving on freeways and watching all the Amazon Warehouses being built on every square inch, and if not an Amazon Warehouse, then McMansions that no one can afford, even the people buying them. My family and friends that I used to socialize with consistently my entire life have all but disappeared. I've exhausted myself trying to nurture the relationships because it's always one sided and so I'm just done, most likely they are just as dead inside than I am. It sucks, I miss the old days so much although I know we can't go back. The answer is in all of our own hands but not sure I'll ever see it in my lifetime (the coming back together of America).

So, in my husband and I's case, we bought a little 2 acre lot on a lake and intend to retire there. At least I do. He is more citified than I am, I can't stand the metroplex I live in. Probably only got a good 20 years left on the planet to worry about.

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4score-7@reddit

1975 here. Life is very hard and confusingly so. Mainly due to the first real inflation of every cost in my adult life. We had massive inflation in late 70’s, very early 80’s, but I wasn’t old enough to recognize it.

The cost of the things that I just need like a used car or a new(used) home, just outpaced my wage growth so very quickly. I work for a living, and likely will until I die. But, I’m essentially not participating in the economy in any other way than my wages I earn, and the taxes I must pay.

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Efficient-Hornet8666@reddit

Honestly, it’s pain in the ass.

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aunt_cranky@reddit

Really helps to unplug from social media and/or anything “influencer” or trendy.

We watch local news once a day and mute when the topic is national politics.

We read some independent contributors on Substack but otherwise try to avoid the firehouse of constant outrage and strife.

What also works for us, a hyper local focus. We go out to eat twice a week at our favorite local restaurant/bars. We typically engage with other patrons seated at the bar near us.

This has sorta helped us feel less isolated or cutoff from our neighbors.

I also realized that I am very much my father’s daughter. My dad loved engaging with other people. Always tried to make “strangers” feel welcome. Even though I’m not as much of an extrovert as he was, it’s through these casual friendly interactions that I feel more connected to humanity.

Even at a time in the US that is culturally difficult, being kind makes me feel less depressed.

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cool_side_of_pillow@reddit

I’m starting to understand why humans become hermits

This resonates.

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warrior_poet95834@reddit

It’s interesting you mentioned the art of living slow. I’ve built that into what comes next for me after I retire next year at 59 1/2. I will be spending much of my time in a small village in Baja and a small town in Old Florida driving a 35 year old truck.

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PacManFan123@reddit

You just summed up fairly succinctly exactly how I feel. Fellow GenX'r here.. (51)

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only_Zuul@reddit

My life is pretty much perfect on paper, but I have a family, and because THEY are struggling it means my life sucks. My kid is not individualistic like I was and is carried to and fro by the changing winds of modern society which is pretty diseased.

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Trai-All@reddit

I have to say as a GenX woman who dived deep into gaming very young… I’ve been devastated by gamergame and the insistence by popular media that it be labeled a controversy when it was clearly a terrorist movement.

After all a controversy doesn’t usually involve bomb threats, death threats, and rape threats. And not just threats to the women whose names everyone knows. Women who worked with me in the gaming industry were doxxed and driven out of their jobs and homes to avoid death and rape threats sent to them and their children. And the men who were in FBI custody and admitted their guilt to such threats? No charges were pressed.

To see the chief enabler of gamergate (Bannon) run Trump as president successfully in 2016 was no surprise to me but remains a bitter disappointment. But I knew it was coming because every boomer and most GenX in my family that I discussed gamergate with were dismissive and thought it wasn’t relevant because only kids and usually only boys play video games.

Like many genx, I born before women had the right to open bank accounts or buy large ticket items like cars or homes without a man signing off on it. And as a kid living in a Republican state I was cursed with extremely racist and sexist family that didn’t hesitate to beat me bloody if I didn’t agree with them. (So being a latchkey kid was best case scenario except I was also beat bloody if my siblings got in trouble.)

But I felt hope in my 20s that most people were moving forward and things were becoming less sexist. Despite having the misfortune of seeing the gory results of “coat hanger” abortions in a state that made it too hard to get medically induced abortions.

Now? At 54? I feel like we’ve slid so far backwards that my kid’s kid will also be forced to see the same sort of traumatic events that I still wish I could forget.

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Prestigious-Joke-479@reddit

Lately, yes. But I wonder if it's just my particular situation.

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And the wife and I are pretty much dead set on leveraging her Italian heritage and getting out of the US and over to Italy. It's going to take a bit of hard work but I think it can be done.

But WHY???

Because this country stinks: consumption, consumerism and capitalism. Terrible plauges. Malls, terrible healthcare and an educational system which is slowly dwindling. And a lifestyle I do NOT want to be part of.

I am all for the slow living thing, better food and an environment in which I want to participate.

Once we figure out the moving parts and a good remote job for me...we're out.

Sorry USA...and thanks for all the fish!

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leaky_eddie@reddit

I have been LOVING solo backpacking and canoe camping trips. My dog comes with me most of the time and my wife, occasionally. I go slow. I fuck around a lot. Sit and listen to wind, really try to look at the colors, feel the sun. For me, this scratches that itch.

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krneki_12312@reddit

Reject the city, embrace the rural village life.

" There is no longer a feeling of cohesion in our society. "

This country hasn't been the United States of America for some time.

Technology has made life simpler in some ways but the Internet that I remember in the 1990s-2000s is gone and has been replaced with fake news, Tik Tok nonsense, and angry Facebook posts. The potential of the Internet to provide honest information for anyone needing has been wasted by troll farms and bots.

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bingbongloser23@reddit

I stay off Facebook except for when I need marketplace.

I don't watch broadcast TV. I'll stream a show or movie occasionally.

My computer is used for bill pay and designing stuff for my 3d printers.

I'm pretty happy building stuff in my shop and maintaining my house and yard.

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OneFortyEighthScale@reddit

This post reminds me of “Mr Roboto” by Styx.

I can’t complain that my life is hard. Friends and parents are getting older and spread out but that probably happens to most of us.

Technology has created some divisions in society but has also united people who might otherwise find it challenging to meet lots of people with similar interests.

Retirement is probably the biggest challenge on my mind. I’ll count myself as lucky-it’s a good life overall.

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Aggressive-Compote64@reddit

Been unemployed for the past year. Cashed out a third of my 401(k) to keep the lights on for another year.

Beginning to think this is as good as it gets from here on.

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Major-Discount5011@reddit

It's hard to see positives on this endless gloomy news cycle. I find that the focus is always on the myriad of problems, but vert rare to find solutions.

We're in the middle of a war in Ukraine that affects many people in different ways. We're witnessing very ugly images in Gaza. All of which we have mo control over.

Economically, people are struggling. Countries are battling the high cost of modern-day conveniences. The planet is fighting back with drought and many natural disasters.

There is lots to be concerned about. All this plays on our emotions daily. Plus, we are supposed to be entering our "retirement" phase, and many of us are not prepared. The life we are living now is much different than the life we thought we were working for. The life the generation before us have. We realized quite late that the world is a much different place than any of us could of imagined growing up.

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jawshoeaw@reddit

Depends on what you mean by hard. Modern life is after all voluntary. Financially it’s been pretty good. Culturally it’s gross but I’m keeping my head down for a few years

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BigFluski@reddit

Technology definitely has its pros and cons. The issue here is with people. You are correct in people being selfish and greedy.

The selfish/hate/greed train is long. It spans the entire earth and is water/fire/bulletproof. The love train, on the other hand, isn't a train at all. It's more like a bus with only a handful of people on it. No one is driving, and it doesn't move because someone stole the tires.

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PookiePookie26@reddit

i’ll add to my other response- often times in our lives it’s not about “fixing” rather “remembering” and then to make intentional action with discernment.

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Whydmer@reddit

I feel like a lot of my issues are just a part of getting older. Yes the world has certainly changed over the last 50 odd years, in many ways much for the better and in more than a few much for the worse. But I certainly understand the feeling of not giving a fuck anymore. The only thing keeping me caring are my kids, and their generation.

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PookiePookie26@reddit

the “not giving a fuck” is akin to a Daoist approach to life :) if you are referring to the all the conditioning and make up of modern society around acquisition of material possessions and achievements etc.

the hustle and grind and the notion to work hard for this or that are making people sick (physically, mentally, and emotionally) - this doesn’t include folks who are just struggling to make ends meet.

many folks are in the fight/flight mode all the time with all of the consumption of the 24/7 news, social media, all the “i should” and “i need”. .. i’m exhausted just typing this :).

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figuring_ItOut12@reddit

I’ve (61) quiet quit Life in the mainstream. Only thing I fully vest in are my family and occasional volunteer gigs in my community.

This song really speaks to me these days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Kx2PbA8bCI

When I tell them that I'm doin' fine
Watchin' shadows on the wall
Don't you miss the big time, boy?
You're no longer on the ball

I'm just sittin' here watchin' the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer ridin' on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go

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CandleSea4961@reddit

Nope- not hard. Annoying? Yes, I think society has made stuff more complicated that it needs to be. i just want to be with my dogs, get more dogs, save dogs, and hug dogs.

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Professional-Lion454@reddit

Same!

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fuddykrueger@reddit

100% agree with this take. But looking back, maybe it has always been this way and I was just naive and lacked life experience.

I guess I find myself disillusioned and disappointed for the same reasons that you describe. I have been able to insulate myself from it a bit over the last 8-10 years by trying to stay away from the darker holes of social media and by giving into my hermit nature. I'm extremely introverted as it is, so it's very easy and comfortable for me to shelter myself at home.

I avoid politics. I do my part by voting and donating to causes that are important to me, but because of my mental health and medical conditions, I cannot engage like I used to. Sometimes I feel guilty about that, but I just can't handle how ugly and hateful people have become anymore.

I've picked up crocheting again after many years as it quiets my mind and keeps me off my phone. I make stuffed animals (amigurumi) that I'll be donating soon to the nursing home where my mother works. I highly recommend to everyone that if you have a creative outlet or hobby that you've neglected or put to the side - pick it back up! Or start a new one. You deserve something that makes you happy. These times are so crushing to our mental state and we need to find happiness where we can.

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classicsat@reddit

I choose my battles with modern life. Some technology makes it easier, some I would prefer to stick with the old school.

Anyone having a tough time enjoying modern life?

Embrace the suck. All the things you complained about are true -- but you can look at exactly the same things and laugh about how silly it all is. It's not like there's any utility in being miserable about things we can't affect, anyway.

I don't like what social media has done to human connection.

Y'know there's nothing preventing us from using fountain pens, paper, and postage stamps to create our own social network.

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Vandstar@reddit

Well said. I went to work in IT right out of school for a fortune 5 company. After 15 years in the field reaching VP level I abandoned it completely and went back to driving forklifts and hiding on my farm. I refuse to be a part of any technology that divides humanity and cannot be held accountable. I boycott everything I can and continue to abstain from human interactions as much as possible. I am insulated to a degree and have no hope for the US right now due to the way people are thinking and acting. Good luck to you all and I sincerely hope that you don't suffer so much under DT, but you did vote for him.

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tarhawk71@reddit

I’m 53 and have been in tech for most of my career. Network engineering and front end web development for the past 18 years. I’m now working a contract job that is due to expire at the end of the year. I haven’t been doing much coding to keep up with newer tech stacks so I’m a dinosaur in my field at this point having a tough time trying to find work. I’m just so burnt out writing code and being in this field. I would love to do something else, but I fear that it would not be enough to pay the bills. I’m not struggling by any means, but I may not have a choice to find another job that pays much lower than what I am accustomed to.

On a personal level, the world we live in right now is a total shit show and the uncertainty of our future is very real. I often dream about my past living in the 80’s. It was so much simpler and more enjoyable without all of this social media crap. The ability to communicate so easily is a wonderful thing, but I would trade it all in without another thought if I could go back in time. I guess we have to be thankful that we were able to enjoy our youth as it was back then.

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geri73@reddit

I stopped giving a fuck once I started 9th grade. I was so over everything.

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Karfedix_of_Pain@reddit

Any Gen Xers finding modern life hard?

Yes... But I don't know if I'm going to blame "modern" life or vilify social media.

Frankly, I just don't think I'm a big fan of capitalism.

I mean, sure, exchanging money for goods and services? Getting paid for your labor? That's fine... But that's not really what capitalism is about. It's not called laborism or currencyism after all. It's all about the capital. Profits. Making your money work for you. Which almost by definition means exploiting your workers. Squeezing as much out of them as you can. And that kind of sucks.

I really don't like that I'm "on" from about 6 AM 'til 6 PM. I really don't like that by the time I'm done doing everything I need to do just to pay the bills and stay alive I've only got an hour or two for myself at the end of the day. I really don't like putting in long hours for a company that's making record profits only to see a yearly "cost of living" increase that doesn't even keep up with inflation. It's exhausting.

And for some reason everyone seems to be OK with that? Here in the US we routinely oppose any kind of collectivism. Unions are painted as the villains. We vote against increases in the minimum wage or mandatory paid leave. Hell - some states are rolling-back child labor laws.

Maybe you just need to change your location/environment.

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gmeluski@reddit

Getting cranky about the state of the world is nothing new for people as they age. Up to you if you want it to become your identity as you get older. Playing defense for the rest of your life is going to be just as exhausting.

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tazzietiger66@reddit

58 year old gen x here , I love the current times , out with the old and in with the new !

FISHERHAWK1968@reddit

Wow did you ever hit the nail on the head with your post! My feelings exactly. I moved to a small cabin on a lake, buy local from small stores and bury my head in the sand!

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snarkdiva@reddit

I’ll be 60 next year. In contrast to a lot of these replies, I love having the technology of today. I’m able to work from home part of the week, which my dog loves. :) I started writing novels in my late 40s and have been able to self publish them and make some extra money. I also do editing for other authors and most of my clients are international. I moved to one of the largest cities in the US a few years ago and found a new job.

On the downside, I’ve been a single mom for over ten years and my two 21 year old kids are still living at home (which is fine) and are struggling to find work and friends, even in a big city. They don’t have the ability to block out all the social media noise like someone who grew up without it. One is in college and the other works but is looking for a better job.

Money is always a struggle because the minute I got a higher paying job, costs went through the roof.

Lastly, my oldest child is moving to Europe due to the results of the last election. Their employer is there, so it’s an option many people don’t have, but their safety may be at issue, so I hate that they are leaving but I understand.

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Frosty-Ad8457@reddit

I do the same thing. Very happy with my little bubble of my hubby and our dogs on our property. The only social media I do is Reddit. I stopped doing Facebook years ago because I was so sick of everybody putting up their fake best lives pictures trying to one up everybody with better pictures in a better location just really got old. We are very happy in our little bubble still have friends but don’t try to impress them and they don’t try to impress us lol

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mangoserpent@reddit

I like my dog. I still read physical books.

People are becoming more intolerable.

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AcceptableRange3408@reddit

I'm 56, I live in a yurt on 10 acres, with about 5 neighbors, also on 10 acres, on a quiet gravel road. Closest store is about 5 miles, in a little town called Oakville, in WA.

I'm mostly off grid (not enough solar panels yet, to keep my fridge and freezer going), have running water, but no septic, so have a composting sitter (read: 5 gallon buckets, emptied in a distant spot).

I have wood heat, propane for cooking and backup heat when it's particularly cold. So yeah, I pretty much moved into a cabin in the woods. Just me and my dog.

I quit being a chef, because the industry has gotten just.... ridiculous. Had a couple melts downs, then one day decided to apply at a little, mom n pop nursery. Best job I've ever had, even if I only make 20$ an hour.

Prodigal child, I guess. Living basically the way we did when we first moved to this ge real area as kid in 72... my parents started with nothing, really, and wanted to be hippies, but gradually turned into boomers.

I hate social media, but need it (I sell wildcrafted foods and crafts shit on FB, I have a modest following). I hate knowing what everyone really thinks, lol.

The world changes, and I guess every generation goes through this, but I think ours has seen the most drastic change over our lifetime. I purposely simplified mine, but it wasn't easy.

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OkPlantain6773@reddit

I agree with your premise, but I don't desire to be a hermit. I live in a city, in a great community of IRL people and activities, bits of nature enough for daily consumption. I find ways to volunteer and help my community. I find like-minded people to spend time with. I try and make a positive impact on the world in some small way.

Have you ever been screened for depression? Giving zero fucks can be a healthy response or an unhealthy one depending on circumstances.

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Im_tracer_bullet@reddit

Yes, but consider this...'Moonlighting' is streaming on Amazon Prime now.

Eh, I don’t find it hard. I live a slow living life. I’m also 54. Social media, as in all things, should be taken in moderation.

I do a lot of reading, cooking, gardening, and playing with the dogs. I don’t care what society is doing.

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North-Ad-3774@reddit

This is why I built a skate ramp on my backyard.

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Im_tracer_bullet@reddit

This comment makes my knees ache.

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North-Ad-3774@reddit

Lol. It's not so bad. I think eating style has a lot to do with keeping me active.

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Dramatic_Arugula_252@reddit

If you are AFAB, it might be menopause - it brings a “fuck this shit” attitude with it.

ephpeeveedeez@reddit

One of the biggest things for me is having a conversation with anyone younger than me now. It’s like I either get an attitude because they think I’m a boomer or they think I want to sleep with them or gain something like an IG follower. Honestly can’t even have a convo with the people at my work without getting some huff about something. I stopped trying to be nice or even converse now and just put my AirPods in when I’m not working or read a book.

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REDDITSHITLORD@reddit

My wife and I fuck every Sunday morning. It's nice. She looks cute in her messy bed hair. Lots of eye contact, a little choking. It's just nice. The sound of the wind chimes and the birds chirping, along with the rhythmic creak of the cheap bed. Sometimes I put on Edith Piaf, even though I don't know French. It's only a few minutes, but in that space, the world is a soft cocoon of simple joys. I like Sunday mornings.

Nope. I use the tech I find helpful or fun and ignore the rest. I largely ignore what I can't change. Stoicism and all that.

Break out of your rut and don't worry about what you can't control. My wife and I travel a lot, it's great to get out and see something different and the world in person is radically different then what it looks like online.

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InternationalDuck879@reddit

I’m in my 50’s and over the last several years weeded out toxic people from my life, became 100% sober, got a tall privacy fence, adopted an elderly pet, and spend as much time as possible in nature. It’s my version of slow living.

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Remote-Patient-1214@reddit

This is the moment right before we turn into boomers. Fight, friends, fight.

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Separate_Today_8781@reddit

I am trying to shut out most of the noise. I'm a first year gen x and am finding what little joy in life I can

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Senegal47@reddit

Oh my. I cannot tell you how much I relate to your post, OP. It is sooo hard. I find it extremely overwhelming (as an aside, you might consider heading over to the simple living sub, as many users there share your mind set).

The thing that has gotten to me is greed has always been a thing but at least it felt like in the 80s/90s that companies at least faked like they cared about their customers/fans/etc. There was a mask over that greed and you could at least buy that companies wanted to sell you a quality product and would back it up. That movie studios genuinely wanted to make good movies.

But now the veil is lifted and they aren’t hiding it anymore. Our use to them is our money. They want it. It’s theirs. And we will line up for their inferior products and services because we are addicted and they know it.

Professional sports leagues don’t care about their players or fans. Maybe they never did but now there is zero doubt. I went to game once and they wanted $60 for handicapped parking. The whole concussion thing in the NFL isn’t because they want players to be ok post career…they just don’t want to get sued or have bad optics.

That to me has killed the hope because to be comfortable in this day it’s a game you have to play. There is no hard work or being a dependable person. The people getting rich are manipulating social media algorithms and that just is beyond me. It’s so fake and manufactured and if you aren’t in the know you can’t play their game.

It’s gross. And to completely pull away is very hard.

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PBJ-9999@reddit

Totally agree

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everyoneisflawed@reddit

I don't see things as bad. Just different. My kids have just as happy of lives and solid friendships as I did at their age. They just go about it differently, and I think that's okay.

I also love technology. I mean, I don't love my addiction to social media, but if it weren't that, it'd be something else. I work in a tech field and I love how eLearning has brought learning to more people who may not have otherwise had access to it. I love that my car has a back up camera. I love that I can text my kids whenever I want and have video calls with my son and his wife who live 400 miles away. I love that I can share pictures of my cats on Discord. I'm a musician and technology has really opened up a whole new world of creativity for people like me.

So, I don't know. I am also a young Gen X, turning 47 next week. I still get into nature, though, and being outside, reading books, having coffee with friends in person, all of that stuff.

There has always been greed and materialism. People have always been self absorbed. But of those are the only things you're paying attention to, then I can see where you might hate it. But there's so much more to our world than only that. Plenty of people are actually very kind and stay connected.

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kstanman@reddit

Your comment reminded me of my experience with leftism. I started out low tax, small govt, yay business, yay me getting rich conservative. Then I practiced law for a few yrs and saw how laws are created and changed always to accommodate the wealthiest and powerful, usually at the expense of the majority working class. So I dove into Chomsky, Luxemburg, Graeber...and it all just sucks.

But the control I have for good is in me, not in all that. So where I am now is politics and economics don't enrich my life even when I'm deprogramming myself, which should be good right? So I gravitate to an Indian esoteric meditation group, an esoteric Gurdjieff reading "school" (group...iykyk) and martial arts. These things have positive results I can observe in my life. Oh and occasionally a free support group for mental health folks - the psycho-pharma complex labels me bipolar and mild ASD, so I really dig getting it all out with folks like that from time to time.

If it's not positive or enriching it's not benefiting me so I don't let it live rent free in my head. Just a thought.

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I think there are two things going on. 1) genx is the generation in power. They are responsible for what is going on and don't like the fruits of the decisions. 2) they are fading in power and that never feels good.

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JacquieTorrance@reddit

Yes. Yes. And yes. Even when Walmart delivers something to the wrong house instead of a simple call and fix to my local store- I have to call somewhere in the Middle East, go thru a 10 minute phone tree, then they say my refund will be given in 7-10 days and to just reorder it but I get a mark against me for a return even thought it shouldn't be counted as a return and if you get too many they cut you off etc etc.

I don't find it hard as much as I look around saying "What the fuck is wrong with you people?"

My wife keeps telling me I'm entering "old man mode" with the way I bitch about kids today. Told her I agree and totally see where this arc comes from when you get older... :)

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AlfalfaElectronic720@reddit

I’m 44 and feel very similar as you. This was very eye opening to see someone say what I was feeling!

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holy_mojito@reddit

I have concerns for our future. But I decided that the best thing I can do is to not get sucked into the negativity of the news, not let consumerism control me, and find ways to enjoy the simple things in life. It's a work in progress, but I'm making progress. Nowadays, I disconnect by playing music, reading, exercising and enjoying nature.

Nothing wrong with taking joy in walking the dog.

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hoboken411@reddit

1000% - too much static. Nothing like a quiet, clear day with little to no noise. Inside and outside your head.

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Big-On-Mars@reddit

I feel like all the social advances we've made were just so we could become more productive workers. The attention to mental health isn't for the betterment of society, but rather to keep us in mind numbing jobs that go nowhere. The young kids aren't rising up in revolt because they've been convinced that if they "hustle" hard enough, they can become a billionaire too. Nobody calls out the bullshit anymore, and if you do it's because you're a jealous hater. If someone started talking to you about shit from the National Inquirer like it was real, you'd ignore them and slowly back away. Now we have what can only be described as mass schizophrenia. Wild conspiracies are mainstream to the point that 100s of thousands of people died unnecessarily. The 80s/90s certainly had their issues, but at least it felt like there was potential for society to become better. Maybe that was just a factor of my age at the time though. Carson Daly and boy bands signaled the beginning of the backslide for me. The Kardashians sealed it. After that, everything just felt wrong.

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No_Gap_2700@reddit

I've always been a social person. In the past 5-10 years, I've become a hermit. Even at work, I typically only speak when spoken to, for reference I used to be in sales and have the gift of gab. I can talk to anyone about anything. I've come to realize that most people aren't worth the headache of even speaking to them. Everyone is so self-centered now, it kills me. I find myself being perpetually disappointed in everyone around me. I still have my gym time to recenter myself. It's good to know, that with all the bullshit we are inundated with on a daily basis, that at the end of the day 100 pounds still feels the same way when I pick it up.

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blusins@reddit

I'm not finding it hard (59 gamer granny ;) but what I see is people don't know how to people anymore.

Get a call or heaven help you call someone most people know know basic phone skills (State your dang company/name when you call me). Something happens the first thing people do is to pull out the cell and not go to help. And don't get me started on looking before you go out into the street! So much 'first person I'm the only one that matters' crap going on.

extropia@reddit

I'm pretty bummed about the direction of many things in the world, but I also know there's a strong correlation between how badly I feel and the amount of online media I consume so I feel some of it is just perception. Couple that with the fact that everyone else is also experiencing this and I assume there must be a level of gloom we're all unintentionally putting on each other.

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MrMilesRides@reddit

Oh yeah I've about had it 😆

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Greymorn@reddit

> The art of slow living is dead.

Totally untrue. Nothing is keeping you from a 'slow living' lifestyle. You can even pop on Reddit once in a while. It's all about your personal priorities.

Y'all, life has always been hard. A lot of the very valid concerns here are echos of what our parents said or thought at the same age.

I’m a decade older than you. I’m planning on working another 11 years. I’m in my 3rd career. I chose this bcuz my best friend since we were 12 retired at 54 in 2015. He went total sedentary lifestyle & dropped dead in 2021. I’ll stop working when I can’t do the job.

That said, I can relate to how all the constant information, disinformation & misinformation stupid highway can be vexing. One idea that may be good is to find a volunteer effort you can enjoy. Possibly an animal shelter, food pantry Or Habitrail for Humanity can get you amongst decent & caring folks.

Heck one guy I know coaches youth baseball & hockey. He keeps his digital footprint very small.

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kokomundo@reddit

You’ve summed up exactly how I feel. I try to explain this to my children (24 and 18) and they look at me like I’m nuts. If you really want to feel alienated, try separating after 31 years of marriage just as your last kid goes off to college! I don’t like being alone, but I’m also not really interested in what someone bought at Costco or a friend’s kitchen remodel or the latest show on Netflix, which seem to be major topics these days. Everything seems so vapid.

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english_major@reddit

When I was 40, my wife and I moved our family out of the city to a small town. Our kids grew up playing at the beach and hiking in the forest. They were in an after school mountain biking program and went snowshoeing and cross country skiing in winter.

That's just the tip of the iceberg, and I really don't think its us getting old and not being able to keep up. This is a result of the society we, collectively as human beings, have created. Obsession with money, stuff, digital life, and quick blips of information with a need for immediate understanding. There is no slow pace to focus and process what we learn. It's sad, and I don't know the answer, but I do think it starts with self regulation and pacing ourselves when we have the urge to scroll.

It takes a lot of effort to break out of it too. I'm working on focusing and mindfulness. Enjoying nature and the moments.

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Jmast7@reddit

If the internets existed in every generation, every generation would have a post like this. For all the downsides, I’ll take a world with no smallpox and measles, being able to fly across the world in under a day, being able to have endless literature at my fingertips, being able to speak to my loved ones instantly at any time and to be able to find any type of cuisine or drink within a drive of my house.

Yes. I hear what you're saying. I try to clock out of it as best I can but one of my pet peeves is how you often can't talk to a person to make an appointment anymore. Lots of small businesses are trying to replace labor with automation and even further, offload part of that labor onto the consumer, and it's not working very well.

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thirtyone-charlie@reddit

I long for the simple life. I have seriously considered moving out of country in retirement but then there’s the kids.

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GenXmamaof2Zs@reddit

I thought it was just me, thanks for sharing! I miss the 90s. I love listening to music and walking the dog. Hubby and I walk in our city parks a lot and we have reconnected with old friends to hang out in person! But most of the time we are hermits. Waiting for the internet apocalypse. . .

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wild-hectare@reddit

the capabilities we gain with technological advances are awesome...the massive abuse of the technology is what is crippling modern society

kevtay1969@reddit

My thoughts exactly - peace in nature, quietness, and yes - can for sure 100% see how a person can be a hermit. I’ve started that already at 55. Rarely leave the house unless I have to. Would rather enjoy my home, my porch, my garden with my wife, my pupper, and a good cup of tea.

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jakestertx@reddit

Yes. You are not alone in feeling this way. I’ve quit three Fortune 500 company well paying jobs in four years because of this new culture. It’s icky and it will lead us through a dark period before we change course.

I’ve decided to slow live again. Going back to more analog. Treating people how I want to be treated and setting boundaries to protect from those that don’t get the concept.

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Glum-One2514@reddit

Are you me?

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Appropriate_Weekend9@reddit

I realized that every relationship I’ve been in, since my teens has been either physically or emotionally abusive in someway. Except for one that didn’t last more than six months.

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elijuicyjones@reddit

I’m having a very hard time, increasingly for the last 20 years.

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Throwaway7219017@reddit

At 51, my focus has always been on family, quite often to the detriment of my career.

I’ve always focused on doing more with less. I know what works for me, I don’t stress how others feel about money or good looks.

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ae314@reddit

I want to go back to having a land line and an answering machine.

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IllEntertainment1931@reddit

I am 47 and I completely agree. The trappings of modern life have made it extremely difficult to find peace and presence in life. It's something that you have to be acutely aware of and actively seek out (and then be looked at sideways when you do by others).

I think in another generation or so the backlash against the internet/social media/smart phones etc will be pretty serious, something akin to cigarette smoking eventually. People like Jonathan Haidt are taking up the challenge now, but I think it will only get louder.

Maybe not since people seems to be less concerned with having children anymore.

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Nice-Zombie356@reddit

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Tokogogoloshe@reddit

The parts of life I find hard or unpleasant I cut from my life as far as possible. A trip last year to ICU made me realise that most things in life I found unpleasant didn't really matter. So ignore them.

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EnergyCreature@reddit

M46 here. I never allow trend to fuck with my flow. When many of my peers went into online gaming, I stayed going to locals. When ppl jumped into social media, I didn't. While ppl were complaining about tech they bought doing stuff they did not want. I stay buying modular tech that I can do what I want and repair with ease. I still go dancing and go out for my fun. A lot of ppl my age or younger looked haggered as fuck and often time it's because they said yes to shit without fighting back. I love my ppl. My friends and family they are always there whether I have $$$ or not.

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GreatGreenGobbo@reddit

I just do my own thing.

I don't understand Influencer Culture. Faux luxury brands never appealed either.

I like medium well done steak and roasts. Don't give a shit what foodies say.

I always thought Elon Musk was an asshat. I do like that he was once hoisted up as some green savior now he's vilified.

I have a drip coffee maker not a Nespresso.

Manual thermostat but have a Ring security system.

Never used Google Wallet, Uber or Skip.

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Dkblue74@reddit

Eloquently written and I totally agree! Nature, a couple of good human and animal friends and reasonable health. These are the things that bring real happiness!