you're probably gonna have to learn to accept rejection. it'll hurt a lot the first time but once it happens a lot you'll learn not to internalize it and maybe that will even heal your self esteem. i used to have a really shitty self esteem when i was younger too. i'm 16. when i was like 10 or so i definitely hated myself. things got progressively better but i still had a somewhat bad self esteem that i tried to bury in a million different ways until i was about 14 and had the most earth shattering heartbreak ever and it kind of caused me to change my entire life. I mean it's kind of complex and it would be a super long story to explain why those two things relate but now my self esteem is a lot better. it's more about self acceptance than self love, to me. I can look in the mirror and see that I have a little bit of fat under my chin or messy eyebrows or whatever else i used to be insecure about. (to be honest i feel like i was imagining a lot of it. looking back maybe i had body dysmorphia) and now these are things that i have accepted, and instead of obsessively hating it i just accept that that's how i am and who i am that's okay.

i think the same goes for rejection; its about accepting that someone doesn't want you and accepting who you are. it's easier said than done but try not to let the fact that some girl doesn't want you destroy you. just because she doesn't like you doesn't mean that you're worthless or that no one ever will want you or whatever else it might make you think. fear of rejection is not really about rejection. it's about what you take it to mean and the way you might internalize it. in reality it doesn't mean much. it means that you weren't her type. at most it means that you're conventionally unattractive. but even if you are, so what? life goes on. whether that girl wanted you or not doesn't change who you are or how attractive you are. you remain the same person at the same level of desirability before and after being rejected by some woman. so when you think about it, it doesn't even matter.

i know understanding this and learning to make the move is easier said than done. unlearning low self esteem was also more easily said than done for me. but it is absolutely possible. i used to be insanely depressed and anxious and self hating and i was even on meds for it at some point. but now i feel better and i'm happy with myself and my life.

finding a partner is very possible for you. but you will probably have to learn self confidence first in order to unlock that potential. as a bonus, that's also something that will probably make you more attractive to women.

i know i just told my whole life story but idk😭 i really wanted to say that to you