I hate being of an age where my friends are passing away

[-]

another_reddit_moron@reddit

Got told 3 years ago I’m unlikely to see sixty.

Currently 48.

All my friends abandoned me as my health issues overwhelmed me.

I hate how ugly and bitter I’ve become.

Don’t do this to your sick friends, it hurts more than the pain from medical issues.

[-]

Parking-Power-1311@reddit

I hope you do OK sir and it's alright to have a bad night.

I lost it all at once too. Health, career, marriage, home, car, father, friends among other things in a 2 year period.

Friends turn VERY quickly on you once sick or homeless. Instant disappearance.

I'm glad you're able to write on here.

[-]

I’m so very sorry!!!! Sending you a big hug. 💜💜💜 My son has experienced this with his chronic illness and it’s brutal. I have a lot going on medically too, but I pared down my friends years ago. So the few I have are great friends, but it makes me sad to see how other people’s kids are marrying, having kids, but our son really only has us.

Love the username BTW! Are you on the chronic pain thread? It’s been very therapeutic to me and people are very kind, yes even on Reddit 😜

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

I'm sorry that you're going through that. Take care of yourself ❤️

When my mom had breast cancer, she said that was worse than the treatment - friends who just stopped being there. It's amazing who stands by you and who doesn't when things get rough.

[-]

another_reddit_moron@reddit

The moment I stopped being able to do things for them they disappeared.

Every.single.person

Sorry, I’m having a rough night.

Good luck to you

[-]

Potential_Camera1905@reddit

I am so sorry my sister is currently going through this situation. It really makes me question people’s intentions. She was in ICU for twenty days and no one showed up. She always showed up for people. Don’t feel bad it is not you. Sending you a big hug.

[-]

hippiechick725@reddit

Just wanted to let you know I heard you and I’m in the same boat. One day at a time, friend.

[-]

BlownCamaro@reddit

Years ago, I suddenly had this epiphany that I was being used. So, I started saying "no." to my friends just to see what would happen. Some exploded, some disappeared and never were heard from again, while a handful stuck around. I now say "yes" to the ones who passed the test.

[-]

Coco-Sadie84@reddit

Absolutely. A “friend” I had for years stopped talking to me as soon as I quit being able to help her. I don’t understand. I tried to keep in touch but after being ignored I got the picture. Don’t get it

[-]

RowAccomplished3975@reddit

my best friend and I do not talk that often anymore but its because for one thing I don't have the financial means to help her like I have in the past, and she knows this so she is out there working her ass off even harder than ever. She did wish me a happy birthday recently. She is still my best friend and I understand how hard she tries to support herself and her family in a country that deems her too old to have a real job. she's 2 years younger than I am and this has always been the case for her since 2013.

[-]

Whathewhat-oo-@reddit

What’s to get? Some people are jerks. It’s better to find out now than after an even longer friendship.

Also- I’m not saying this is the case-but you never know what’s going on in someone’s current life or past to cause them to act a certain way. Being aware of that can help you let go of the friendship with less blame and from a more positive place.

You can even get spiritual about it and consider that maybe the universe placed your hardship at your feet to reveal who in your life truly loves and cares about you so you could rid of any dead weight.

All that said- you have to protect and take care of yourself and whatever the reason for going MIA, that person makes you feel bad and can’t or won’t be there thru thick and thin, so they gotta go. There are lots of worthy people on the planet- you’re one, right? I am, too and there are others.

[-]

Coco-Sadie84@reddit

You’re awesome. I totally agree. I was friends with someone for 30+ years. We don’t speak anymore. She chose an internet scammer boyfriend over my friendship. I’m happier now that we’re not friends anymore. We were besties when we had small kids and helped each other thru a lot of junk. We don’t need each other anymore. She’s never changed and I at 58 years old, I’ve grown up. Well dammit, it feels good

[-]

Whathewhat-oo-@reddit

Aw thx! Ya it’s usually better just to let them go if the relationship doesn’t serve one or both of you any more or even worse makes you miserable. I used to think that being a good friend meant sticking by someone no matter their words or actions but I finally realized I have to be a good friend to myself first and foremost. And if that’s not cheesy greeting card shit, I don’t know what is.

[-]

Coco-Sadie84@reddit

It is cheesy greeting card shit but it’s the truth. I’m learning to be my own best friend

[-]

Magerimoje@reddit

Same thing here.

Chronic health problems = disappearing friends (and family).

Apparently I'm no fun anymore since I can't hike, bike, go out all night, etc...

[-]

PeyroniesCat@reddit

I had to stop working a few years ago due to some medical issues. I worked in a small hometown in a very public-facing healthcare job for 25 years. I know just about everybody.

It’s like I stopped existing. I see people in town, and I still remember the medications that they took, their conditions, who their family members are, everything. A lot of those same people will look at me and ask me if they know me from somewhere.

It’s very humbling to realize that a lot of people forget about you if they don’t see your face on a regular basis anymore. It’s like the exact the opposite of the relationships that celebrities have with their fans. I know everything about these people, yet to them I’m just some guy who looks familiar.

When you get indefinitely sidelined by illness, it can feel like you’ve been relegated to the Island of Misfit Toys. I have to admit that it gets depressing if I think about it for too long.

[-]

TakeNameInVain@reddit

Hey, you now have a crystal ball to see how new friendships will play out 😉 Wishing you good health, and healthy friendships to come. ❤️

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

No need to apologize. It's perfectly OK to be upset in your situation. Sending hugs.

[-]

Lola_Montez88@reddit

gif

[-]

RightReasons76@reddit

This was also the worst part of my divorce.

[-]

gramma-space-marine@reddit

My MIL, tooo, she had done EVERYTHING for her friends and the second she got diagnosed they completely disappeared but we’re all going on vacations together without her. It crushed her spirit. They didn’t even call to check in… it makes you really wonder who truly cares about you.

[-]

Parking-Mousse-1976@reddit

It makes them face their own mortality, and they can't face that.

[-]

PrestigiousGrade7874@reddit

This - people are selfish cowards

[-]

gramma-space-marine@reddit

She had supported some of them through cancer and other illnesses, too! I think after watching their posts for the last 6 years they are just extremely self centered and only do things that make them look rich and glamorous.

[-]

Bomber_Haskell@reddit

It's animalistic. We think we're enlightened but ultimately act like every other creature.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

So sad how cruel people can be

[-]

HumbleXerxses@reddit

I get suicidal frequently. I was talking to an old man one time about it. Just a casual conversation about life and all. At that time a lot of life long friends turned out to be just good time buds. This man said, "No wonder they weren't friends. You get suicidal. Nobody wants to invest in you if they don't know if you'll be here tomorrow or not.". Fuckin hit home hard!

On that note. I was told in my mid 20's I only have a couple years left. MAX. I turned 48 last week. Whole new group of friends too.

One of my dear friends who is like my soul sister came along after all the worst things. We were talking about this same stuff. She said, "Love. The trash always takes itself out. Fuck them!". Another life changing hit home moment.

I'm sorry you're going through all this. Keep your head up. Show up for the fight every single day. Regardless if you do live to 60 or not. These last year's can become the best years full of folks who love you to your core.

[-]

Gomer_Schmuckatelli@reddit

You are not alone in this experience. I'm sorry that you are dealing with the same feelings of abandonment. It sucks to acknowledge that you can so quickly be an afterthought of people you thought loved you.

[-]

ColdHandGee@reddit

Mo, I would be there for you, bro. I, too, have lost so many friends. It is so upsetting for me, personally. So, if I knew 1 of my close friends was poorly, I would be there for help and support.

We all know who the good friends are when it comes to health: the good ones check in, and the bad ones check out.

Sending you a hug, mo. Not everyone is heartless and selfish🫂.

[-]

I_W_M_Y@reddit

Last year I had a sort of friend go into the ICU. Didn't really know her that well or even really liked her.

But she had no one that would visit her in the hospital so I showed up every day.

[-]

ColdHandGee@reddit

I know the feeling all too well when you get no visitors when in hospital.

I had to spend my 21st in the hospital. No visits, no presents, no card or cake. Never forgot that pain. No wonder I don't like celebrating my birthday anymore.

[-]

ColdHandGee@reddit

Your hug!

gif

[-]

salchichasconpapas@reddit

I was dying 18 years ago

Everyone treated me like I was invisible, already dead

I vowed not to die and to never forget

I'm alive

and I haven't forgotten

I never want to feel like that again

I know one day I'll be old and infirm, but I won't be abandoned

Fix yourself, get healthier, forge new relationships

[-]

snarkdiva@reddit

My daughter’s friend from high school was diagnosed with leukemia at 19. Aside from my daughter, almost every one of her “friends” just disappeared. It’s cruel.

[-]

CommanderSincler@reddit

Sorry you're going through this

[-]

Bert-63@reddit

Had exactly the same experience.

[-]

Coco-Sadie84@reddit

That’s so wrong! Why are we so awful to people who need us most? There’s so little kindness left in the world. I’m so sorry

[-]

crobertdillon@reddit

Back in my late teens, twenties, early 30’s I was so tired of going to weddings… my mom and I were having drinks one night and she told me ‘one day this will change and you won’t like it’ - little did I know cancer would make her first in the now never ending cycle of burying colleagues, friends, and family. I’d kill for a wedding.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

That's so true. I'm sorry you lost your mom ❤️

[-]

FlutterbyFlower@reddit

Lost three people my age in the past 6 months. One after a long struggle with his health from a complications of type 1 diabetes, and two from major strokes.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

I'm sorry for all your loss ❤️

[-]

FlutterbyFlower@reddit

Likewise

[-]

cappyvee@reddit

I am praying for 60. It’s been a rough ride through the 50s.

[-]

Fuzzy-Mood9608@reddit

I have lost 2 friends to cancer this year, both around 58-years-old.

I have another buddy who is fighting it right now. My friends' parents say they have never seen waves like this.

There is definitely something wrong going on.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

I'm sorry about your friends ❤️

[-]

Fuzzy-Mood9608@reddit

Thank you ❤️

[-]

GboyFlex@reddit

I'm sorry for your losses. You're right, there's definitely something wrong going on. I have a good friend working on a statistical cancer research study. 2 years into a 5 year project and he's highly alarmed at what he's seeing. Massive increases in cancer rates across the board, way beyond statistical "norms"...

[-]

ComfortableHat4855@reddit

Covid is going to be a factor, especially our age group. It's hitting harder with some of us.

[-]

morchard1493@reddit

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending strength, hugs and love. 💪🫂🫀🧡🤎🫶

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Thank you ❤️

[-]

morchard1493@reddit

You're welcome. 🩷

[-]

Bert-63@reddit

I'm 61. Just think, it's all downhill from here. Good thing is we only have to do it once.

[-]

cheesecheeseonbread@reddit

I just hope reincarnation isn't a thing.

[-]

2Dogs3Tents@reddit

Good news if it is you won't know. Your soul will come back stronger and more mature.

But these stories of people remembering their past lives for awhile make me wonder!

[-]

cheesecheeseonbread@reddit

I KNOW. That would be the only consolation, if you got to keep & use the knowledge you earned last time. But so few of us get to do that.

[-]

Nomad-Sam@reddit

Yah, my sister died yesterday. I hear you.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. Hugs ❤️

[-]

5150-gotadaypass@reddit

Sending you a big hug OPie!!! 💜💜💜 I’ve lost several over the last decade, including my sis. Tell everyone you love how important they are in your life has been my motto since.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Thank you ❤️

[-]

ixo285@reddit

I’m 16 but my parents are Gen X, it’s not time for you guys to go yet, so please don’t be so pessimistic. It’s so scary because my Dad and Mom didn’t have me that young either, but I just pray they take care of themselves so they never go earlier than they need to and leave me and my siblings all alone. Whenever I hear either of them have any new health issues, my heart practically stops and it feels like my world is going to end. You’re not alone at all and I hope you’re okay. Death isn’t scary, I think it’s rather the absence left by an individual once they’re gone. Take of yourself and always be optimistic, I hope you made many memories with your friend and they’ll always live on with you. Even if you’re the last person to ever remember them, there is still someone that remembers them and misses their presence. I know my years are fleeting and one day, I’ll think the same thing as you do now. I hope you are well. Sending love.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Thank you ❤️

[-]

izolablue@reddit

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve lost several as well. The toughest by far was losing my children’s father unexpectedly last year. Still waking in a fog.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss ❤️

[-]

lemon-rind@reddit

Luckily no friends have passed yet. But I have lost my mother and brother .

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

I'm sorry to hear that ❤️

[-]

Eastern_Line_5902@reddit

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this heartbreak. I'm Gen X too, and while I'm not going through this personally, I know it can happen anytime. While you may feel that you're alone, you're not. We're here when you need us. Thank you for your advice. I will make sure my friends and family know how much I love them. I hug them just a little tigher every chance I get.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Thank you so much ❤️

[-]

2Dogs3Tents@reddit

This year i also lost a young 60's friend to a heart attack and also a female ex coworker of mine died in her later 50's recently(smoker for sure). Dropped her kid off at college and then passed away within a week.

Last year my buddy died of lung cancer after a long battle in his late 50's (heavy smoker for so long).

My brothers wife is 56 and riddled with cancer and likely has less than a year.

No wonder the 50's are such a sad time for people in western cultures where diet and lifestyle start to catch up to us.

HUGS EVERYONE. For real.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry for all that you've gone through. So tragic. Hugs ❤️

[-]

fatkidclutch@reddit

I've so very sorry for your loss. I think our parents forgot to tell us this part of growing up and growing older.

I lost one of my best friends last year to a heart attack. He was 46. Nearly a year later and I still forget he's gone sometimes and want so badly to message him and tell him about all the plants I got on discount. He was the only one that shared my plant nerd love

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Thank you ❤️

[-]

Odd-Animal-1552@reddit

A friend died from a stroke last week. She was 62. A coworker I was friendly with died the week before. He was also 62. I’m 53. Both deaths really hit me hard. Straight up not having a good time.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

I'm sorry for your losses ❤️

[-]

Spiritual-Title-1013@reddit

Me too. 2 friends, 1 a year older and the other a year younger than me, on sat and sun. Both heart attacks. Yeah im going to tell my people i love them. Thanks. Take care of you and yours.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Thank you ❤️. And I'm so sorry for your loss.

[-]

thehoagieboy@reddit

Yeah it sucks. It's just a new part of life I didn't think about when I was young. Now you either get to hear about people your age dying or else you become the person your age dying.

[-]

IceNein@reddit

When I watch the news and see people younger than me dying it gives me a little anxiety.

[-]

warlordgarou@reddit

I figured on a couple of my friends being the ones who will check out early ( by virtue of being on the older age of my friend group, bad habits, etc), found out in July that it’s a statistical certainty that all of my friends will outlive me by a couple decades or more. They should see 75, I might see my next birthday

[-]

chigga21@reddit

Yep. It sucks. My 47 year old brother passed unexpectedly of a heart attack in August. I am the youngest of three sons, and he was our middle brother. I'm still struggling. He was my best friend.

[-]

2Dogs3Tents@reddit

So sorry for your loss pal. Sucks big time.

[-]

chigga21@reddit

Thank you.

[-]

OppositeDish9086@reddit

I quit smoking recently at age 53. No vape, no bullshit. Quit, period. Just trying to do the best I can with what I've got left.

[-]

GreatOne1969@reddit

Wow. That I huge! Keep fighting.

[-]

OppositeDish9086@reddit

Thanks! No turning back now.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Good luck!

[-]

OppositeDish9086@reddit

Thanks! It's been almost 3 months now, and it's been life changing. No going back now.

[-]

S1159P@reddit

I did round one way too young; I moved to San Francisco in 1991 just in time for AIDS to burn my friend group down.

Round two isn't here for me quite yet, not en masse; there's been a death or two but not that feeling of the scythe clearing the field.

I miss them so much. I am grateful that I got to keep going. But it hasn't stopped hurting, each of them that's gone, each a world entire.

[-]

2Dogs3Tents@reddit

"each of them that's gone, each a world entire."

Heavy.

[-]

S1159P@reddit

Sorry, I skew melancholy

[-]

2Dogs3Tents@reddit

Oh no, don't be sorry. It's heavy and beautiful. I skew melancholy too.

[-]

whipla5her@reddit

This is the sad truth of aging. When you're young you go to weddings, when you're old you go to funerals.

[-]

MyNameIsMudhoney@reddit

Taking care of ourselves should also include "stop drinking" if one can safely do so. Alcohol is a neurotoxin, leading to several types of cancers, not to mention other deleterious health effects. At my 30th high school reunion, I saw first-hand how aging and unhealthy overconsumption of alcohol is in my former peers.

[-]

2Dogs3Tents@reddit

I was never a "good" drinker thank god. At some point in my mid to late 40's i just stopped liking it.

Now, I've had like 4-5 beers total in the last 5-6 years at social/holiday sets. Those weren't even really enjoyable.

Don't think i'll have any again come to think of it.

[-]

Hairy_Personality167@reddit

The wipe out of my friends in their 50's early 60's has been brutal. Yes, people could live more healthily but, unfairly, I think genetics has a lot to do with it. The best defense is preventive care to catch things early.

[-]

2Dogs3Tents@reddit

life expectancy was 66.5 years for men and 71.8 years for women in 1950.

Science and medicine brought us to the brink of immortality soon thereafter.

Social Media, fast food, stress, western sedentary lifestyle and mental health crisis bringing us back to the old days.

[-]

jtrades69@reddit

i had a big long thing written out then realized, meh. basically, i don't care if i live or die at this point. i'll be 51 this week and i feel like i've been living on borrowed time for the last 15 yrs

[-]

Bomber_Haskell@reddit

Same. I tell people that I've entered "the Zone." Most of the males in my lineage die in early 50s (rare) to early 60s (common) to early 70s (rare.)

[-]

2Dogs3Tents@reddit

The men in my family all die 72-74. I figure I've got about 18-20 years left (if that) and I'm totally ok with it.

Sometimes I feel like this modern world ain't all that it's cracked up to be anyway.

[-]

forluvoflemons@reddit

Same.

[-]

osmiumfeather@reddit

Instantaneously it goes straight from weddings to funerals.

[-]

TheJFilez@reddit

I’m so sorry for your losses. I can definitely empathize. For me it hit in 2017 with the loss of my best friend since 12, and she was only 47. 2020 brought another huge blow, my husband suddenly died on our oldest daughters birthday at age 49. Then my last very close friend died in 2021 unexpectedly during a routine surgery. I haven’t been right since. This past summer I went to 5 more highschool classmates services, 2 in the same weekend. All I can say is this sucks. Sorry my friend.

[-]

2Dogs3Tents@reddit

Jeez. So sorry.

[-]

mmazing-m@reddit

I'm so sorry to read all this. Big hugs.

[-]

CrazyBitchCatLady@reddit

My best friend of 30 years died 5 years ago at 48. I don't really have any magic words for you, but i haven't been right since either. I get it. And time just marches on.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

I'm sorry about your friend ❤️

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Thank you and I'm sorry to hear about your losses. It doesn't get any easier the more you experience it ❤️

[-]

TheJFilez@reddit

It sure the fuck doesn’t, even for us tough gen x’ers. ❤️

[-]

steffi309@reddit

This happened to my mother when stopped being able to take care of her former friends. This also happened to me when I lost my job in 2015. I had one friend that stayed a friend through all of it and then after my mother passed I made friends with a former coworker's mother in law.

I have a chronic illness and both of my friends do and we look for each other the best we can.

[-]

Reginald_Sockpuppet@reddit

beats the alternative.

[-]

grayhairedqueenbitch@reddit

It sucks. I attended my 40th high school Reunion last year. There was a memorslide show of our dead classmates (some who died young, but others more recently). Since then, we've lost a few more. One person sent a nice note saying they couldn't make the Reunion and then the next thing we heard, they were gone.

[-]

CanuckGinger@reddit

I started losing friends about ten years ago. When you’re young, you think you’re all invincible. No one warns you that the time will come when your friends start dying. Frequently. It’s so difficult.

[-]

rolltwomama88@reddit

Losing friends and older family is very hard for sure. I lost my mom when I was 31. The hardest and saddest for me now is those of us that are losing our children. My self included. Excuse my language but I didn’t fucking sign up for that.My plan was always that I’d go before my children. Didn’t work out that way with my daughter, my son is still here. I have two friends that have lost their kids as well. Not something you imagine will happen to you but unfortunately it does happen far too often.

[-]

CanuckGinger@reddit

Every parent’s worst nightmare. I’m sorry for your loss.

[-]

Rhalellan@reddit

There are only two of us left from the 20+ warriors I served with through thick and thin. We saw each other 4x a year, minimum, and slowly they fell. Some to suici, some to alcohol, some to “unknown” cancers or health problems that no Dr. could explain and the government refused to recognize until too late. Now Mike and I are all that’s left and neither of us is in great health. All gone. It’s a sob story and no one will be left to tell it. I miss my friends, comrades, warriors all, and I begrudge the world that took them.

[-]

Own-Cable8865@reddit

It is time to live like there’s no tomorrow.

[-]

Adept_Advantage7353@reddit

It’s just part of life. The longer you live the more people you care about are going to pass away..

[-]

floppy_breasteses@reddit

I turned 50 a couple years ago and now my doctor begins every discussion with, "At your age, you need to...". She's not wrong though. Fifty years of eating, drinking, smoking, and injuries has to catch up eventually. This is the decade where the 'check engine' light comes on. I've lost a couple friends but not to age. I don't look forward to losing any more, nor to being lost. Mostly we're in the age group of losing our parents. Most of my friends have lost at least one parent.

[-]

Dry_Yogurt2458@reddit

Just a reminder that it's never too late to lose weight, get fit and change your diet It might not guarantee you a longer life but it will learn the odds of an imminent death. What it will do though is ensure that if you do live into your cold age, you will most likely remain mobile and independent
As Atrophy kicks in big time, you will have more muscle to lose, and more strength and endurance to move around freely.

[-]

elev8or_lady@reddit

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I (49F) think I can relate…it has been quite a messed up year in my family. My husband’s twin sister and only sibling died this summer. Just a few days after their 54th birthday. Then, later that same week, my cousin (51) died suddenly of a brutal illness. Neither of us were quite prepared for family members of our generation to start dying either. I hope we don’t have anymore for a long while.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Your having quite a year! Sorry for your losses ❤️

[-]

elev8or_lady@reddit

Thank you! It's been rough. It kind of feels like the world is falling apart in slow motion. But life goes on right? Ugh.

[-]

LowkeyPony@reddit

I’m 54. My dad passed when I was 24, and he was 57. So far I’ve lost at least 5 of my high school classmates. And 3 of my mentors and colleagues.

I was diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder 4 years ago this month and have been on blood thinners since. I have pulmonary artery stenosis. Which was diagnosed in my 20s but no doctor ever thought “Gee maybe we should actually do something about this” instead it’s just been “Keep an eye on it”

I work out 3 to 4 days a week. I eat ok. I drink a lot of water. I’m in a handful of pills. But am not in any discomfort, so no pain meds unless I over do it in the gym or get a migraine.

I’m ok with death. But I know that I won’t make it if my husband passes before me. He’s my best friend

[-]

Suitable_South_144@reddit

It's hard to lose friends and family. No matter your age, losing people you love is traumatic. You can't prepare yourself really. The thing is you can't stop the inevitable. If you are born alive, you will die at some point. We make the most of the time we're given. And we are fortunate if we can leave behind amazing memories of us and awesome stories to be shared by those we leave behind.

[-]

BlownCamaro@reddit

I've lost half my friends. Most were far healthier than I am. I just wonder if I am next at this point.

[-]

GenXist@reddit

I remember my first funeral vividly. A friend fell off his bicycle, hit his head, and since none of us wore he.mets, that was all it took to punch his ticket. We were eight. The next year, a friend and his dad were killed in a plane crash. The caskets have just kept coming.

Survivor's guilt is a bitch.

[-]

Eastern-Ad-5253@reddit

Same with me I've lost a friend or two But know what really chills me to the Bone? Most of the Music legends that were our Idols have passed away!!; Eddie Van Halen David Bowie Michael Jackson Prince Whitney Houston George Michael Meatloaf...

[-]

RowAccomplished3975@reddit

yeah, and sadly Delores from The Cranberry's died a few years ago and she was my age. The lead singer of Type 0 Negative has been gone for a long time now, Even that young man from Juice World is gone

[-]

Eastern-Ad-5253@reddit

Sad!!!🥺

[-]

WideStreet7125@reddit

It's hard to believe that they're really gone.

[-]

Eastern-Ad-5253@reddit

Ikr🥺

[-]

Neko_Dash@reddit

I’ve had 6 friends pass in the past 3 years. 3 from cancer, 3 from heat-related problems during the summer months (like hiking in 108 degree heat).

Just take care of yourself. Don’t hike that trail if you know it’s going to be close to 110.

[-]

I_W_M_Y@reddit

I am the last one standing.

Family, friends and my wife. All gone.

I never thought I would be the last one.

It sucks.

[-]

brzrkr76@reddit

Whoa. This hit hard for me. I am sorry for your losses

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

I'm sorry for your losses. Hugs ❤️

[-]

I_W_M_Y@reddit

Thanks, I appreciate it

[-]

Zaraki42@reddit

In the past three weeks, I've had a friend lose his spouse, and three other friends lose one of their parents.

Reality is hitting hard that I'm not in my twenties anymore, and my folks may not be around for very long.

[-]

Bartlaus@reddit

The first of my university friends dropped dead of an undiagnosed heart condition over a decade ago now, in his mid-30s. And even many years before then, someone I used to play with as a kid back home had a sudden aneurysm burst and died on the spot, only in her early 20s. Anyone can go at any time. All we can do is fight the long defeat. I work out and try to eat somewhat sensibly. My parents are still alive in their mid-late 70s so the world will probably not be rid of me for a few decades yet.

[-]

NetworkMick@reddit

I was recently searching for a couple of old friends from high school and my neighborhood. We used to go to church every Sunday and they brought me in like family. My family had no interest in going to church or religion. The two kids were a boy and a girl. Then there was the mother and father. Sadly I found out that, let’s call him Mike, got ran over by a drunk driver while riding his bike to university. Not even 22 years old. Then his sister Kim passed away before she was 35 from cancer. Leaving her 2 kids and husband. The same thing happened to the mother and the only survivor is the father. So he built a wonderful home and family and is now completely alone. Really sad and I feel so sorry for him and the loss of my friends.

[-]

No_Dependent_8346@reddit

As the only gen X among my 7 boomer siblings and the youngest by 6 years, this hits hard with the health scares they've had over the last few years. I've resigned myself to being the last of this generation of my family and have been actively working with my eldest sister to chronicle our stories for posterity, with 8 kids growing up on a dairy farm there's an abundance of sagas.

[-]

Smilneyes420@reddit

Unfortunately we’re hitting that point where we’re going to see it more often and we know how this story ends, there are no survivors. I feel very lucky to still be around after all of the crazy stuff that I did growing up. I seriously didn’t see myself making it out of my twenties so it feels like I’ve been running on bonus time for quite a while already. Losing friends to death or losing touch with them for whatever reason is a part of life but so is making new friends. I’ve just tried to constantly become a better person and honestly appreciate what and who I have in my life and enjoy every day I wake up as much as possible. I carry a lot of great memories of friends that have gone before me and try to live in way that they’d be proud of. Going to funerals or celebrations of life after losing people close to me I’ve seen it change from a dark somber moment like when I was younger and went to these things with my parents to a time where you hear more laughter than crying. I’m not saying there’s no crying but people are sharing and remembering the good times and that’s what it should be. We’re lucky for whatever time we’re given, enjoy it because we never know when it is going to end.

[-]

Subject-Drop-5142@reddit

I had a friend who was younger than me taken by cancer 2 months ago. It really sucks. We can see our parent's generation slowly thinning out and the clock is ticking cos ours will be the next to go. So...live every day like it's a blessing because there's no guarantee. Remember tell your loved ones you love them.

[-]

Adorable_Rhubarb_731@reddit

In 2022 I lost 15 friends and family. The hardest was my best friend of over 20 years and just over a week later my dad.

I was hanging out with my friend on a Friday night. My dad was hospitalized the week before and my uncle had passed away two days prior so my friend was being my friend and consoling me. I was going to go back on Saturday night and see my friend again because that morning I learned of my cousin's passing but I didn't want to be a downer in my friend's life, though I'm sure he wouldn't have minded. A few days passed and I was at work on Tuesday morning, getting ready to leave to attend my uncle's funeral when I got the call saying my friend's house was on fire and nobody made it out. Thirteen unlucky days later my dad passed away. 2022 was the roughest year for me, I'm still trying to recover.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Oh my goodness, that must have been a lot to go through. I'm so sorry ❤️

[-]

SouthernOshawaMan@reddit

I was a little to busy to stop and talk to the wonderful guy at the dog park I frequent . He was in his early 80's and was a gentleman had lots of great conversations. His obituary was posted while I was away on vacation (facebook) about 4 days later. I wish I had at least said hello. It's a good idea to try and see your friends and family as much as you can. Sorry for your loss.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Thank you ❤️

[-]

nifty1997777@reddit

I'm sorry about your friend. I have lost many friends over the years recently. Three friends grow up together. One of them will attend both of their funerals, but no one will attend theirs.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Thank you ❤️

[-]

Karl_Hungus_69@reddit

Take care of yourself, my friends. See you doctor. Eat well. Take a walk.

I'd never suggest someone not do these things. However, if just starting around 50, a lot of the damage has already been done. Again, that's not to say that improving one's lifestyle is futile. It's still worth doing. But, it's also important to be realistic about what one thinks they can accomplish with such changes.

[-]

pixelneer@reddit

We are at a point in our lives.. That life takes away more than it gives.

[-]

RowAccomplished3975@reddit

I lost my 2nd husband 10 years ago. he was 6 weeks away from his 51st birthday and I never saw it coming. it was sudden. I almost lost my oldest daughter to a suicide attempt but she was saved. I am so grateful I did not lose her. I lost both of my parents, my mom about 15 years ago and my dad just about 5 years ago do to his suicide. it seems a lot of narcissists end up offing themselves. I have no contacts with anyone from high school except on old friend from 8th grade but we really don't talk anymore but she's lost children and suddenly lost her 2nd husband after I lost mine so this poor girl has had so much pain and loss in her life too. but most everyone in that school hated the both of us over someone's made up rumour I really don't have any care honestly. I meant nothing to them so why would they mean anything to me? they were all just big bad bullies most of them. I had a few good friends that I still care about though.

[-]

D05wtt@reddit

Yeah, I’m sure that’s difficult to get used to. I recently found out that a bunch of my high school (female) friends have gotten breast cancer. And I was in the ER a year ago and through all the tests done, I found out in my past I had a mini-stroke. That was scary. But as far as I know, (and I don’t know a lot), none of the people I knew have died…yet.

[-]

natedogjulian@reddit

Welcome to the club

[-]

Jafffy1@reddit

I can remember a teacher reading the obits before class started. Thought it was kinda weird when I was 18. I have close about a dozen close friends and acquaintances pass away. And I am on 53.

[-]

Bomber_Haskell@reddit

In my early 20s I happened to read the obits one day. I came across a name I knew. My HS freshman Spanish teacher. AIDS. That was an odd feeling that instantly made me feel connected to a larger community.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

My grandma always read the obits and it scares me that I understand now why she did that.

[-]

AshDenver@reddit

My husband is 17 years older than me. I’ve been hearing about his classmates dying for 20+ years. Sometimes it’s self-induced, some accidents, some sudden unpredictable events.

Absolutely get checked regularly and do your best to stay healthy while knowing that something is gonna get ya.

I have a friend 3 years younger than me who was dx Stage 4 lung cancer at the start of COVID. I was convinced “she’s going to die.”

She is now 5+ years ”cancer free.”

[-]

splorp_evilbastard@reddit

I'm 9 years older than my wife. 14 years ago, I was 265lbs. She encouraged me to try one of those calorie counting apps. Once I got under 220lbs, I started jogging (I ran in high school). I died at low as 175lbs, but have settled at about 205-210lbs, running 3-5 days a week on the treadmill, doing sit ups, and lifting on a cable weight machine.

I figure it I want to be around for her, I need to stay as healthy as I can.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

I'm glad your friend is a survivor!

[-]

AshDenver@reddit

She made it by fighting the docs who said she would die, signed out for hospice and fought for Keytruda which saved her — she was 67lbs at hospice time.

Meanwhile, her MIL got the same dx while she (friend) was starting immunotherapy and MIL didn’t have the right genes and passed of lung cancer while friend made it to the other side.

I feel so bad for her husband.

[-]

suckitbeotch@reddit

It was always an inevitable position to be in. Better to be attending the funerals than having yours attended to.

[-]

Bomber_Haskell@reddit

I am the 2nd of 4 siblings. All are late 40s or older. Third of 4 passed from a heart attack during covid lockdown. I'm not so sure of your statement. One of my greatest fears is being the last of us 4 and living a long life knowing I'm the last.

[-]

carrieslivon@reddit

It’s harder when you lose your parent and all your grandparents have been gone for several years

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Yes, that's going to be rough. I remember some kind of quote from JFK Jr. about not truly being an adult until your parents are gone.

[-]

Bomber_Haskell@reddit

In high school, one of the HS church group people were having a discussion with us as kids. He said something along these same lines about "as long as you have your parents and the love the (should) provide, you'll never know the hardship of our peers that were orphaned/abandoned/neglected/latch key etc. His own parents were gone by that time so some of his talking points were cathartic but he cited me as an example of "you don't know the problems of those who walk among you." And how he as a 49 year old understood where I was coming from on a lot of topics.

I feel I had to be the adult in the room since I was 11 years old.

[-]

carrieslivon@reddit

I still have my mom but it’s gonna wreck me when she’s gone too, but my dad died in February and I still miss talking to him and hearing his voice and talking sports with him.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Hugs ❤️

[-]

frododog@reddit

the losses start mounting up. I'm 57 and I've been losing old friends. Two this year. My sweet husband, older than me by 15 years, had cancer but we didn't know, and got very sick in July and died in August, metastasized intestinal cancer. Two other old friends are sick with life-threatening diagnoses - this does suck. I think getting old is really just not fun. It's sad and frustrating and no bueno generally.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

I'm so sorry for your losses. Hugs ❤️

[-]

killswithaglance@reddit

Lost my friend to cancer a few months ago. She was 39. Suddenly turning 40 isn't so bad. She had two primary school kids. Unfair..

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

So unfair. I'm sorry for your loss ❤️

[-]

Due-Assignment-3723@reddit

My husband died a couple years ago at age 52.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

I'm so sorry to hear that ❤️

[-]

len43@reddit

A few of my high school friends have passed away already and it makes me incredibly sad.

When I moved high schools, I was so awkward and alone. Jeff and his friends took me in and we didn't have a lot in common but I had a group and they were all so nice including Jeff. Jeff passed from cancer a few years back. RIP my friend.

Tami was also at that new school and she also was so kind. We had loads in common and joked CONSTANTLY with me and made classes fun. I called her Tamster and she always had a smile on her face and made me laugh. On Facebook, she ALWAYS liked my post or said something kind, even 20 years later. Tamster passed from breast cancer and she never posted or complained about it once. She just wasn't there one day. RIP my friend.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

So sad. Both of those sound like very tough losses. Hugs ❤️

[-]

hikeitaway123@reddit

Same. Seeing friends die, get diagnosed with illnesses, get divorced. It is slapping mortality in my face hard! I am heading toward a midlife reality check fast and still have a 10 yr old because we had kids late in life. It is a crazy time!

[-]

Odd_Bug925@reddit

This was the part of my 50s I was dreading. Lost a good friend after a series of strokes this past May. Still think about her a lot.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

I'm sorry for your loss ❤️

[-]

apothecary12@reddit

56 here, and had a friend pass this summer. He was the first of my friends to go. It really makes you look at your own mortality. Just make sure you have all your ducks in a row vis a vis a will, and have all of your important documents somewhere that your family knows about. Pre-planning your funeral is also a good idea. So sorry for your loss.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Thank you. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. And you give great advice about planning ahead. As a single person, I need to make sure that my adult children know what bank has my mortgage, who my life insurance is through, etc. They hate that discussion but it's so necessary.

[-]

Dillenger69@reddit

I feel you. I lost my best friend to a car wreck in 1998, and it took me a good 12 years to bounce back from that. After he died, it seemed like I lost at least one person a year. It's probably less, but I just notice it more now. I'm dreading losing my parents. Mom and dad turn 78 next year, and I hit 57.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

I'm dreading that, too. My dad turned 80 this year and my mom 72. They both have health issues and watching them decline has been rough.

[-]

SkepticalPenguin2319@reddit

November 9th was the 7th anniversary of the passing of my friend from a “widow maker”. He was 45 and a lifelong smoker.

I echo OP’s words - take care of yourselves. Even if you don’t die early from a lack of self care, your aging will be harder, filled with more discomfort and lack of mobility.

[-]

Lola_Montez88@reddit

Even if you don’t die early from a lack of self care, your aging will be harder, filled with more discomfort and lack of mobility.

So much truth. I scribe medical reports and listen to so many doctors tell their patients this exact thing. Unhealthy lifestyle catches up to people in older age.

[-]

SkepticalPenguin2319@reddit

I’m a retired medical provider 😊

[-]

Coco-Sadie84@reddit

I’m old and trying to learn how to take care of myself. It’s late but never too late. At 58 I’m learning to eat better and love myself more

[-]

SkepticalPenguin2319@reddit

Good for you! And yes, it’s never too late. One of my pen pals is in his 70s and learning how to exercise.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

I'm sorry about your friend ❤️

[-]

SkepticalPenguin2319@reddit

Thank you❤️

[-]

justwhatever73@reddit

My best friend since middle school died a year and a half ago. He was about 6 months shy of his 50th birthday. Hurts like hell. It sucks living in a world he is no longer part of. His parents treated me like part of the family, and they've been gone a while now. Like that whole awesome family just disappeared from the have of the Earth.

[-]

darkest_irish_lass@reddit

The absence is the worst, because you keep wanting to reach out to share something and you can't. I feel this so much. Wish I could give you a hug, internet stranger.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend ❤️

[-]

throw123454321purple@reddit

Do not wait until retirement to start enjoying life.

[-]

OhioResidentForLife@reddit

Just lost a classmate last week as well as a good friends wife. It seems the older we get the more we will have this happening.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

I'm sorry for losses. Hugs ❤️

[-]

Dramatic_Arugula_252@reddit

Avoid COVID. It’s still around.

https://keck.usc.edu/news/severe-covid-19-infection-increases-heart-attack-and-stroke-risk-as-much-as-having-a-history-of-heart-disease-study-finds/

[-]

Apprehensive-Ad6847@reddit

I'm four years older than you. In the last 30 years, I have been losing friends. I started in HS and would drop the average every couple of years. In the previous ten years with COVID and opiates, the death count ratcheted up.

[-]

MissDisplaced@reddit

Lost my husband to cancer when he was 54. It sucks so bad.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

I'm sorry for your loss ❤️

[-]

MissDisplaced@reddit

Thank you. Hard to believe it’s been two years now.

[-]

Doubledewclaws@reddit

Me too, friend. And the pandemic didn't help. My world became much smaller starting in 2020.

[-]

AllTheCoconut@reddit

It’s one of life’s cruel tricks. The longer you live the more people you lose.

[-]

Moonsmom181@reddit

Very sorry to hear this. F54 and I feel your pain.

[-]

Optimal_Morning_9783@reddit (OP)

Thank you ❤️

[-]

hattenwheeza@reddit

Had to attend a funeral myself this weekend. It's shocking, the losses and their suddenness at this age. Sending big hugs OP. Very sorry for the loss of your beloved friend 🩷

[-]