Software engineers - how have you recovered from near-burnout?
Posted by yojimbo_beta@reddit | ExperiencedDevs | View on Reddit | 181 comments
I've had a tough year culminating in a very difficult project with a narcissistic tech lead, a full time pairing environment, autocratic decision making and a manager who has spent the last three months trying to denigrate and humiliate anyone who dares to have an opinion. He has won, and for it I have a new job lined up with better pay and technology. Ironically I should thank him.
I should be thrilled but I actually feel completely crushed by my experience and feel no pleasure in anything... none of my hobbies or relationships seem able to pull me out of this pit I'm in.
I'm not at the stage where I'm too faded to code but it's difficult to focus on more than simple tasks. There's a couple of months until the new job so I'm hoping I can get back on the saddle, at least well enough to function.
Those of you who have been here - how did you get out of it? What did it take and how long until I feel like myself again? Specifically how did you remain functional and productive as a programmer whilst battling this?
Former_Country_8215@reddit
Nope just don’t want to be homeless
william_fontaine@reddit
I'd estimate I've been in burnout for about 14 of the last 17 years. It just becomes normal state at some point.
I try to recover by taking a week of vacation every so often and doing nothing, but it never fully helps.
lynxerious@reddit
do you often feel like there is always something floating about you, rendering you from actual enjoying stuff? an anxiety like shit about to go down at any moment, feeling guilt because you're enjoying yourself, or a glooming mental state of being trapped in a neverending maze.
BordicChernomyrdin@reddit
Yes!
william_fontaine@reddit
All of the above. Not always, this weekend has been pretty good. But last weekend I had to work 20 extra hours.
Switching jobs has sometimes helped if the new place is OK with giving people time to ramp up. But other times it's burned me because they expected full productivity ASAP.
markrulesallnow@reddit
What do you do that you had to work 20 hours over the weekend??
william_fontaine@reddit
Just regular web app development. But nothing's allowed to be late because the timeline for the next 2 years is so tight. Some story ended up being more complicated than expected, so I had to work all day for most of the week and then the whole weekend to get it done on time.
notsleeping@reddit
sword of damocles
ElliotAlderson2024@reddit
How many software engineers pulling $100K+ are on the verge of homelessness? This sounds fishy.
Former_Country_8215@reddit
2 kids and the only earner in Bay Area. Struggling on 100k.
_nightgoat@reddit
100k is barely enough for one person.
ElliotAlderson2024@reddit
Time to move to a LCO area.
arlaarlaarla@reddit
/r/wowthanksimcured
Former_Country_8215@reddit
Great advice…
BordicChernomyrdin@reddit
I became burnt out and discontent, and wore it on my sleave! Ran my mouth and got layed off. Out of work for about 7 months, with a pregnant wife. Snagged some contract jobs, got into running and lost 30 lbs. Finally found a perm position. All of the changes and scrambling cured my burnout!
YahenP@reddit
The old man grumbles. When I was young, there was no burnout. At least among software engineers. We just worked because it was interesting. I first heard this word about 15 years ago. or so. What is characteristic, I have never heard it from colleagues whose salary was at my level or lower. And as a rule, these are people with professional experience of up to 5 years. Very rarely up to 10 years.
Truck_Stop_Sushi@reddit
I just mentally pulled back. If I don’t make a deadline, then so what? Besides, most of our “urgencies” are to keep a cell in a spreadsheet green. I am not going to sacrifice my time and health so the project manager can get a pat on the back.
I come in, I work, and I go home.
Curious_Leather4665@reddit
Theres really something to this.
Very early in my career I once watched a highly respected senior engineer willingly let a high stakes outage happen, at an investment bank, requiring multiple teams for cleanup, and visible customer impact.
I asked why, and he just said - "We told them this would happen, they know what we need to do to fix it, they know the firefighting hurts us, and have deprioritized it. It's time it hurt them."
Lo and behold the comprehensive fix was given maximum priority the firefighting stopped, nothing at all came down on the engineer/team.
In that moment the facade shattered in front of me. You can only your best, you only control what you control, people up the chain are more vulnerable than it might seem, look after yourself first.
paololz_@reddit
start another app to add to the long list of unfinished apps
deadwingx97@reddit
I have been in similar boats. The moment you resign you will wake up next day and forget that guy and everything related. 3 months sound decent time, I would recommwnd doing that will make you feel rewarded and motivated (i.e to me music)
Rush_1_1@reddit
Vacation, box breathing.
VivianFairchild@reddit
You're getting good advice. There's no quick way to recover from burnout. That sounds like a toxic work environment that caused you a lot of mental stress, and that has real health impacts.
Take some time between positions to wind down from your old job, take care of yourself. Unplug. Do things to help you relax. I would also recommend therapy to talk about how to process and cope with the way your manager treated you and your team. It might be "normal" in that environment but to your human brain, it's hostile and stressful and even dangerous.
Wish there was a magic bullet for burnout, but it'll take some help and time to get back to something that feels normal again. Have been through this as well. Wishing you the best 🙏
lieutdan13@reddit
I'm really sorry to hear you've had such a tough time. It sounds like you've been through a lot, and it's completely normal to feel drained after enduring that kind of environment, especially with the type of toxic leadership you've described. It's a big step that you've already lined up for a new job with better pay and technology. Sometimes, just knowing there's a fresh start ahead can help, but it's also important to recognize that recovering from burnout takes time.
When I've faced burnout, I found that small, consistent steps helped me get back on track. First, I made time for things that recharged me, even if I didn't feel like it at first. Taking short breaks during the day, going for a walk, or spending time with close friends or my family (wife and dogs) helped, even if it felt like I needed to be more productive. I also permitted myself to set boundaries, even in the last few months at a job, so I could focus on the bare minimum and not put additional pressure on myself.
In terms of work, focusing on simple tasks and acknowledging that it's okay to step back when you're not at your best can actually help you stay functional. You might find that small wins—like completing a task or even reading an article or book that inspires you—help you gradually regain confidence over time.
If you're struggling to find pleasure in hobbies or relationships, you're not alone in that feeling. It can take time to reconnect with those things, but don't feel like you have to rush them. Sometimes, just showing up and allowing yourself a break without judgment is needed to eventually start feeling like yourself again.
It might take a few months to bounce back fully, but you're already planning your next steps, which is a great first sign. I wrote a blog post on avoiding burnout and managing stress in tech, and some of the strategies could help: Simple Ways to Stop Software Developer Burnout Early.
Take care of yourself, and remember that recovery doesn't happen all at once—giving yourself time to heal is okay. You're not alone in this journey.
khando@reddit
Why are you using AI to write your comments for you on Reddit?
Any-Woodpecker123@reddit
Took a year off, then when I came back, stopped giving a fuck about shit nobody else did.
If the company doesn’t care about something now, neither do I.
No-Response3675@reddit
Was it tough coming back? Everyone keeps talking about how rough the market is
Any-Woodpecker123@reddit
Market was fine in my experience. I received 7 offers from 13 interviews within the first week of trying to come back.
No-Response3675@reddit
Wow and was this a recent experience?
crisdcrane@reddit
Damn fam, lemme study your resume rq
Fantosism@reddit
Market is fine, startups have it rough. Section 174 will stick around for 4 more years, so no more VC funded startup salaries for the foreseeable future. Still not anywhere close to 2008 or 2001 levels though.
TheBear8878@reddit
Yeah I would not recommend taking a year off lol
Rubix982@reddit
I learned to disconnect things for myself.
My job isn't a statement on my abilities and potential and long term goals.
My livelihood isn't a statement on how I should treat my other hobbies and my family.
What I earn from does not make sense if it somehow dissuades me enjoying what I actually like and doing it repeatedly.
What value others follow does not say anything about my own values. My values and personal growth can continue despite the other person's views on it.
Everything is temporary, and so is this job. I do not find sense in stopping my growth because of someone else.
I feel peace in not caring about people and detaching myself from many things and not getting involved in conversations.
I realised my biggest sources of unhappiness were by ego and my confusion about my own identity and values.
I would much like to be that person that sees this job as a way to earn income and think not much of it.
At the end, I will be stuck with my resume, my identity, my goals, my values, and my family. I started thinking about many historical figures (I learn philosophy, history, politics in my free time), and I wondered if the people I admire felt stopped by a bad phase in their life, that would be tragic that they never got out of it. Maybe I am that person for other people in life. It would be tragic if I learn this burnout stop me building my hobbies, trying out different things, not learning about my own existence and values deeply.
I realised what we are all revolve around what we consume. I started giving less headspace to this company I used to work and dread it. I stopped caring about people I used to care a lot about, I stopped taking people very serious because that just helped them become the centre of my life, I realised if I took people serious even on their most stupid whims and beliefs, that I was giving them credence and credibility. The moment we stop taking these people serious or worth any value, we stop caring or at least stop making them the causes of our unhappiness. So in my mental diet, I stopped consuming thoughts about these people.
Eventually I left that role and found a much better more peaceful role where people actually value and care for me. It took time, but I now look back as being able to appreciate the positive role I have with the happiness that I otherwise would not have realised if I had not gone through my previous experiences.
It is like being unable to appreciate the night without the day, and being unable to appreciate the day without the night. Everything is temporary in life, do not give negative experiences more credence that what they deserve.
Pr3fix@reddit
this is so important. And it's really hard if you've always been a very work focused person, to remove this dead weight from your conscious
rwaycr@reddit
That was very moving. Thank you. Have you shared more of your journey elsewhere?
HettySwollocks@reddit
How did you remove these people from your mind space?
Alpheus2@reddit
Rest and sleeps.
And cease whatever is causing more of the burnout.
You can't fill a leaking battery.
photosandphotons@reddit
Take as much time as you can completely off in between current job and new job.
lightreee@reddit
agreed
thecoachpunk@reddit
Hey there, first off, I want to say that you’re not alone in this – not even close. Burnout isn’t a badge of failure or weakness, it’s your body and mind waving a giant red flag saying, ‘Hey, we need a reset.’ And let me tell you, that flag is worth listening to.
I’ve been there myself, stuck in a situation where I felt like I was spinning my wheels in the mud. For me, burnout wasn’t just about work; it was the intersection of career expectations, physical health, and realizing that the career I had built for 20+ years – one where I was successful and well-paid – wasn’t aligned with what I actually wanted. It took me a long time to admit it, let alone seek help.
Looking back, I wish I had tackled it with professional support sooner. I worked with a coach and a therapist, and I gave myself permission to just be unwell for a while without trying to “power through.” Only then did I begin to understand the underlying issues, including physical factors (hormones, stress impact, etc.) that I never would’ve addressed on my own.
And honestly? A lot of the advice out there – like just resting or doom scrolling as a distraction – doesn’t get to the root of the problem. Recovery isn’t a linear journey, but getting the right support makes all the difference.
Here are a few things I’d recommend based on my experience:
• Find professional help: A therapist or coach can help you untangle the emotional, physical, and career-related elements of burnout. You don’t have to figure this out alone.
• Listen to your body: Burnout often has physical components – fatigue, hormonal imbalances, or other health issues. Don’t ignore what your body is telling you.
• Reflect on what you want, not just what you’re leaving: Is the path you’re on one you truly want? Burnout might be pointing to a deeper misalignment.
• Don’t ‘push through’: Recovery isn’t about powering through; it’s about healing, which sometimes means stepping back entirely, even if it feels scary.
• Be kind to yourself: Burnout is an illness, not a weakness. Treat yourself with the same care you’d give a friend in the same situation.
This is temporary. It may feel like it’s defining your life right now, but I promise it’s just a chapter, not the whole story
yxhuvud@reddit
I quit and then I spent 6 months staring into a wall.
pierre_lev@reddit
Me at my first interviews I said I was changing cause feeling burnout symptoms. And that I wanted a nice team and to see them and joke with them at the coffee machine.
It seduced the interviewers and now I take my time and I own my pace and they completely trust me.
My advice is take care off yourself and set the tone. Your own pace, your own analysis, your own tasks.
NicolasTX12@reddit
I recovered from two near-burnout experiences, what I did was slowing down my work output and letting go of things beyond my control. Also every time after work was dedicated to relaxation and fun, no code at all. Played a lot of videogames, slept and watched a ton of Star Trek, all of that for a few months. Really healed me a lot.
recruta54@reddit
If you have the money, consider taking real therapy. Reditors can be helpful (even if some are straight trolls), but the ods are such that you'll won't be able to express your feelings well enough over here.
Burnout and early stages depression are very alike, and we won't be able to tell them apart from our phones. Take a dozen sessions from a professional. You seem lost; get help, get back on track, and kick some ass.
If you don't have money, don't resort to drugs just now. They will numb you, and right now is the moment you'll need clarity. Reach out for family and friends, talk to them, and when you feel better, you can get shitfaced all you like again.
gnassar@reddit
Honestly? My life is like a sine wave, work so hard I get burnout>first opportunity i get, I become an absolute slob and don’t do anything productive at all until the absolute last possible minute>go back to working so hard I get burned out.
Is this a good strategy? No. Has it been working? Yes :P
Responsible_Boat8860@reddit
Take your pto time more frequently and spaced out throughout the year. Point your estimates higher, start splitting stories better, stop giving “extra” effort. Give a normal amount of effort.
Responsible_Golf_235@reddit
I’m in the process of the burning
tire_scrubber@reddit
If you can't quit for another another job, make the most of your free time. For me, I turned every weekend into a mini-vacation. I turned my weekends into adrenaline-laced activities. If you are doing something that takes 100% concentration in the moment, there is 0% ability to focus on work.
A great benefit is when I return to work on Monday, when everyone is in hair-on-fire mode, I am able to bring context into my situation. Sure, I need to deliver or fix something very important, but my stress level is low since there is nothing inherently dangerous about the work. The stress and associated burn-out becomes much more manageable.
CS_Barbie@reddit
Taking 2-3 months off between jobs
EternalStudent07@reddit
Think 'burnout' is basically 'chronically over stressed for a long time'. Too much cortisol, norepinepherine, etc. At first it might help, but eventually we break down and get angry/sad/afraid. "Freeze" is a valid stress response too, and one we choose when we're just stuck/broken.
And the only solution is 'less than your previous maximum stress for a long time' (like before you broke's max is higher than you can manage now). That and actively work at recovery. Find what helps and do that more. Find what hurts and try stopping or cutting back for a while.
Lots of stuff only changes slowly in our bodies. And our coping tools may be hurting us more than we realize.
One big pattern that I still haven't solved was only being social at work. Works OK in a lot of places, but if work become toxic... yeah, even introverts need a little connection to others. The people who believe they're functional alone don't realize all the ways they rely on others.
I think deep depression is feeling alone, being tired all the time, and feeling like nothing you do will ever help. If those are true then anybody would have mental health problems. And there aren't easy solutions that work for everyone (that I know of).
You found a new place to work. Sounds like an important first step forward. Next I'd work on healing my body as best I can. Find and repeat good self care habits. Specifically food, water, and sleep. Then deal with any health problems you've been ignoring (food intolerances, etc) by looking online for things to try, or by asking your MD/PCP (should quickly know if they think they have solutions, or even paliative suggestions). Then when you're a little more functional spend regular time with 'your people' to not feel as alone. Animals know they're less safe when alone. I might even go so far as to ask my next job about time off ahead of time... meaning ask them if there is a good time coming up for you to take off, then you can maintain functionality with an end date in mind.
Cmacmurray666@reddit
I burned out completely and it’s been 6 months and I’m still having a hard time
TwoFun5472@reddit
I had a complete burn out recently, I was very very angry during many days, it has been very difficult for me to recover, hoping I can recover fast.
spoonraker@reddit
The biggest factor in avoiding burnout is to find meaning in the rest of your life and don't shape your identity around your job. Taking a vacation or even a longer sabbatical will only be a band-aid fix unless you address this core issue.
That said, if you're already burning out, taking some serious time off is going to be necessary for a plethora of reasons including the physical recovery and mentally getting over the trauma of it, just be mindful to not waste your time off with no purpose aimlessly doom scrolling social media and doing shallow activities.
You really have to find an identity that's not centered around your job. It's ok to take pride in your work and consider yourself a hard worker, but add in there that you're also a family person, you enjoy your hobbies, or whatever your thing is that isn't work. Tell yourself that you're the type of person that keeps a healthy balance and is confident enough to maintain healthy boundaries at work even if it's hard. What you identify yourself as, even if it's an aspirational inner monologue, is really a powerful force.
And as obvious as this advice is, it really is true: don't underestimate the power of life's fundamentals. Eat well, sleep well, exercise, and nurture relationships. These are the fundamentals of being a happy human, and even though it's the most basic advice in the world, it's impossible to overstate how effective these things are at changing your mood.
And finally, I personally like to advocate for disconnecting from the internet as much as possible when you're in a funk like this. What social media and the internet is good at is just barely staving off boredom that would otherwise drive productive action, while not actually fulfilling you in any way. Social media interactions are incredibly shallow, and most internet content these days is designed to steal your attention for as long as possible without necessarily giving much in return. I'm not anti-screen entirely, just again, be mindful and deliberate about it. When you want to veg out, choose some high quality content like an actual TV series or movie, and watch it without your phone. Generally speaking just don't do things on your phone. Adding the friction of needing to walk to a desktop PC or pull out a laptop is a good way to avoid mindlessly slipping into a doom scrolling feedback loop that will suck 2 hours of your life and make you feel worse for it.
itsyaboy@reddit
This is the real answer.
Silver-Belt-@reddit
This. Very good advices.
cloud-formatter@reddit
It will sound trivial, but for me the way out has always been opening up about it with colleagues and managers.
Now obviously that's contingent in your colleagues and manager being understanding and supportive, mainly to just give you time and space to be deal with it.
The good thing is, that in a modern work place (at least where I am in the UK) this is a norm these days - people will encourage you to take things easy and look after yourself.
Yeah, and seek professional help, it won't hurt and may prevent this becoming a serious depression
WhyIsItGlowing@reddit
They'll say it, but they don't mean it on a deep enough level for it to count.
itsyaboy@reddit
Dang, yeah find a way out of that toxic crew. Ideally you'd have some savings to take a break for a week or two. I typically stop drinking caffeine for a few days and give my brain a reset. Not sure if that applies here, but I've been burnt out numerous times as a dev and I feel you.
Most of the time, changing my environment and resting for a bit helped. You def should get on a better team.
Varrianda@reddit
A job hop for me was all I needed. My last job was miserable for basically every reason except I got to write a lot of code.
Efficient_Sector_870@reddit
Concentrating on growing the factory r/factorio
LinkedInMasterpiece@reddit
OP, would you say it's a better idea to bounce as soon as you sense workplace narcissism? Yes interviews suck but is staying around for a year with it for you?
ingeniousHax0r@reddit
As others have said, taking a break is warranted and crucial to recovery -- the easiest option when burnout gets that bad is "do nothing" which evolves into "take better care of yourself" which evolves into "return to work recharged and a bit better at taking care of yourself".
In my case I spent ~3 months getting back to "basics" like making doctor's appointments I'd put off, focusing on getting sufficient sleep, and getting longer and more regular exercise without having work as an excuse. The main stressors that got me burnt out in the first place were still there, and I wouldn't honestly say I quite feel "recovered" yet, but the time off did help me find a routine and priorities that made me feel a lot better, and when I start to feel burnout creep back up since going back to working full time, it's usually because I haven't been doing the self-care stuff as well as I should be.
I also think it's ok, especially in the current environment/state of the world/etc., to simply let yourself be detached and an "average" employee at times, since that's a lot more sustainable and part of what helps prevent digging yourself into an even deeper whole when mental health/burnout issues arise.
I've observed devs with a lot more experience and seniority than myself go through cycles where they really care and put a lot of effort and time in, and cycles where they maintain quality without appearing particularly stressed about the work or any of its outcomes. For a lot of people the ratio of "gas" to "brakes" varies based on a ton of factors, but if you're burning out it should be taken as a hard sign that you were stuck in "gas" mode for longer than was healthy for you, at least in the environment that got you here. Most of the really good engineers I've seen sustain a long and successful career seem to have figured out how maximize their effectiveness at ~50-80% effort rather than sustaining 99-110% effort long-term. When I was younger I really thought it was the latter and I wish I'd learned my lesson sooner
riplikash@reddit
In all seriousness: talk with a therapist.
GoTheFuckToBed@reddit
Vacations at a new location, lots of massages and walking, walking and meeting new people.
revutap@reddit
I was fortunate enough to be able to. But I took a year off.
ToThePillory@reddit
If you have a couple of months before the job, go hiking, take weekends away, road trips, relax.
Don't think about programming for a bit, just take the time to unwind.
Zebranoodles@reddit
Went through this about two years ago. Got a new job at startup and found out that I was basically on the worst team with the most difficult people. During the onboarding I moved to a new city and it was all very disorienting. The team I was working with made it very difficult to get PRs approved and they would drag on and you would feel like you were accomplishing nothing for months. Totally lost my ability to focus and I was just very very unhappy and lonely. I started keeping a journal and everyday I would write down my fears, things I was grateful for and what I wanted to accomplish that day at work. Went on hour long walks each day and I eventually snapped out of it after about 6 months. It takes a long time to get the focus back.
CandleTiger@reddit
I did an internal job shift drill working on a boring project to taking a more senior / design role on a more interesting project.
Having a team that was interested in my considered opinions instead of working alone to deadlines really helped me for a time.
TokenGrowNutes@reddit
Burnout comes in many shapes and forms, some short term some longer term (when you think about a career change).
Both come from grinding in a stressful environment so frequent breaks are a must.
Just getting away from it for a while does miracles for burnout prevention, even solving unsolvable problems. You think clearer when well rested.
Aggressive_Ad_5454@reddit
You are describing burnout. It’s a thing. It’s happened to me a couple of times.
It ***cks, but time, and rest, almost surely heal it. The life event called a “sabbatical” exists to give some people a way to heal this burnout.
It’s a kind of emotional hypothermia. Mumble, fumble, stumble, tumble. For me it caused real, but temporary, brain fog.
Be patient with yourself and kind to yourself. You know you deserve those things, even if that fool who used to be your boss doesn’t. Delay starting your new job for 2-4 weeks if you possibly can.
You got this.
sage-longhorn@reddit
Lots of hobbies. Took more than a year to fully recover
fire-my-way@reddit
Were you off work the entire year? I’m 5 months in and feel I need more time.
sage-longhorn@reddit
I still worked, just bare minimum hours to meet expectations. Got a promotion that year too, but no raise, which really screwed up my compensation for the rest of the time I've been at this job... Anyways I'm rambling
sage-longhorn@reddit
I still worked, just bare minimum hours to meet expectations. Got a promotion that year too, but no raise, which really screwed up my compensation for the rest of the time I've been at this job... Anyways I'm rambling
PhilosopherNo2640@reddit
I got laid off. It was a blessing. My new company has its own challenges but it doesn't give me insomnia.
dantheman91@reddit
Switch jobs and take a break. Or internally change teams at least if you're ok with the company. Generally avoid getting to that point, if you find yourself in a bad situation, know it will not generally bet better unless you do something to make that happen.
flyingupvotes@reddit
Time. It’s easy to feel recharged, but the tanks will be shallow if you don’t give yourself enough time.
puradawid@reddit
I can't, having suicidal thoughts and basically live in pain. It seems like not everybody can get out.
I hope it will be different for you.
nelilly@reddit
I was deeply mired in the JS framework workflow. JavaScript fatigue is real. I got worn out with multiple dependencies and the endless cycle of updates. I was exhausted from the chase.
I thought back to when coding was fun for me, and I did that: I built a site just using basic tech: HTML and CSS, with just a tiny bit of JS. I didn’t care if it was perfect. I didn’t care about using the latest tech. I just wanted to build a simple, solid, old school site.
It’s just a fun, low pressure site for me. I’m not trying to set the world on fire with it.
https://www.htmlhobbyist.com
So, when was the last time it was fun for you? Do that, as a side project. Play.
I don’t want to say the solution to coding burnout is more coding. But maybe the solution to being “over trained” is an easy, enjoyable workout. (It worked for me, ymmv)
wiseaus_stunt_double@reddit
Having worked in large media companies and ad agencies, CSS is more of a driver for burnout than JS due to the constant demand for pixel perfection with a quick turnaround. But, I know what you mean -- personal projects should be less focused on the things that cause burnout and more on things that you love.
nelilly@reddit
I think what helped me the most in this case was working on a project that didn’t demand perfection, “pixel” or otherwise. I could just code “to be”. It helped me for this particular case of burnout.
Sparaucchio@reddit
When I was burnt out, just the thought of writing a line of code made me wanna throw up, and I dreamed of doing literally anything else instead
nelilly@reddit
Are you still burnt out? What helped you?
Sparaucchio@reddit
Now i can proudly say I am not.
But it took me A LONG time to get out of it completely. 1 sabbatical year, plus 1 year working 4 days a week. I was let go due to poor performance, and the company was losing money every day. Then another 2.5 years working 4 days a week in a super chill environment where I actually liked worked in, and got paid 30% more, and finally got my passion back because we gradually faced new problems i actually liked solving (and nobody else in my team was able to solve, so i also get to be very proud of myself again). Also, thanks for a very supportive manager who liked to praise me for my contributions in public.
But the first "sabbatical" year and the next job after that felt like HELL. Had many existential cryses, and many times I couldn't even get out of bed.
Short answer: I was very lucky to find a very good and "human" job just in time before giving up.
It's a long story, I hope what I wrote is understandable
nelilly@reddit
I’m glad you’re in a better place.
damnburglar@reddit
I appreciate the inclusion of the web ring haha. Good on you for making this. Not everything needs to be 1GB of node modules etc.
nelilly@reddit
It was the style at the time. 🧅
IProgramSoftware@reddit
Hookers and blow in Vegas
john-j@reddit
Gradually stepped back from being a tech lead of a pod of 5-7 people working in multiple projects to a still very senior, but more hands-on position that involved only being a lead of one project with less people involved. That somewhat coincidently combined with starting to work only 4 days a week. My near-burnout was at least somewhat caused by the company growing few times in number of employees which led to a lot of devs joining my team / pod and then usually leaving for other newly created projects which definitely was a major factor of wearing me and others out. I'm fortunate enough that my company is very supportive in any situation like this to a degree and work-life balance of everyone is pretty valued.
WeightPatiently@reddit
Yes. I have ADHD and was unmedicated. I was fighting like hell to keep my job.
As soon as I started on Ritalin (Methylphenidate Hydrochloride) this changed. I quickly made a semi-impressive passion project in Rust, used it to change jobs, get a pay rise, and told them I had taken out a bunch of leave and took a break.
If you think you may have ADHD, I can’t recommend getting medicated enough.
grizzlybair2@reddit
Haven't really as real life is relentless. I can go back into mvp form for a few months but then I can't maintain it.and drop it again for a solid year of half assing.
TopSwagCode@reddit
switched jobs.
TheOnceAndFutureDoug@reddit
I got laid of in July. I'm good with money so I have barely been job hunting since so I can recover. That's how I handled it.
RobertKerans@reddit
Last year almost completely burned out. Was depressed. Left the job (I shouldn't have, this was an extremely stupid thing to do), had a small amount of savings, basically didn't do anything much except normal day-to-day stuff for a couple of months. Went to work somewhere local where I can go into the office if I want to instead of being fully remote; that's the largest QoL improvement (the isolation was the key reason why I'd become depressed in the first place).
Almost burned out this year. Was stress at work and stress + tiredness at home. Got around it by ignoring it and just asking my manager to check up on me more. Main cause is a baby, it's not as if I can step back and take a break, I have a baby so I just have to get in with it. People at work are in exactly the same boat re very young children, including my manager, everyone is very understanding of everyone else
Professional_Park781@reddit
Just felt like sharing my story here. In 2022 I joined a company that completely destroyed me mentally, they are extremely chaotic and for a 1y 6months they destroyed my cognitive load.
I have been a job hopper so I tried to stick as much I could because the guilt I feel by never sticking to a company grew very high as my unsuccessful adventures turned out bad.
This year I got a job at the company I was dreamed of. I started to work there but I realised that well I’m completely burned out. I made the tough choice to leave 2 months later, because I didn’t want to burn this bridge. I left in good terms and now I’m back at my old job with the promise of a better environment (which I doubt).
My plan is to save as much money as possible, hold on tight and then the yeah take a break to recover. I realised that I need a break, switching jobs won’t help because I’m toasted and I can’t put anything more out there.
I know is crazy but is the only viable plan that I have right now. Sorry for not answering your question just wanted to share mine, good luck and good recovery.
heresyforfunnprofit@reddit
I do nothing for 3-6 months. Managers can’t tell the difference anyway.
ColdPorridge@reddit
Truly, they cannot in most cases. Especially if you’re not sprint oriented.
Quanramiro@reddit
If you experience some bad things at the job then change it. Don't try to survive there, don't try to be a hero. You waste your time there, you waste your physical and mental heath.
Even if new job pays less then in a longer perspective you can loose much less if you decide to change.
FinalEstablishment77@reddit
Structure is what holds you up when you’re too weak to hold yourself up. Imagine the ‘best’ version of yourself, what would be the 2-3 things they would say you need to do every day (exercise? Shower/tidy your house? Go in nature? Connect w people?) and do those things every day in a structured/scheduled way.
And beyond that: rest. See if you can find the bottom of Netflix. Scroll TikTok. Get some easy fun novels. Give yourself permission to fuck all the way off.
And notice when you start getting bored. Eventually you’ll get itchy to do something else. All wounds are itchy when they’re healing.
Just be careful with substances like weed or alcohol that can make boredom more tolerable. Those might mean you get stuck on the couch for longer than the burn out recovery lasts.
nath1as@reddit
left the project,left the job, found a new one under better conditions
Scarface74@reddit
No it happens because you are too afraid to say “no” to working ridiculous hours.
nath1as@reddit
haven't worked an hour of overtime yet
neilk@reddit
If you're like me, you might have thought that you should take on some Big Audacious project because you're now free and you want to really spread your wings. And you know, deep down, that you're meant for better things. I suggest you don't do that – yet.
One way of thinking about burnout is that your mind and body has "learned helplessness" about trying to perform better.
So you need to retrain your whole body and mind to expect that programming can be fun again.
The absolute best thing to do is to find something that's both self-indulgent and where there is some easy set of small steps that provide immediate feedback that make you feel good. These days, they design video games to get your mind in that loop, where there are easy tutorials with lots of feedback to keep you engaged. Think about finding something that works like that.
Here's something that worked for me, once:
I always felt bad about not knowing my IDE really well, so I gave myself a flash card course through Anki to learn shortcuts. That helped me feel more fluent with coding generally.
Then I wrote a little solver for a word game. And then rewrote it several times to teach myself a new coding framework. From there I made some blog posts about it and even presented on that.
Your story isn't over, but you'll still need your training montage scene. Don't skip it.
ancientweasel@reddit
Careing less.
Have you heard of MV?. Well you need MVC.
system32420@reddit
There's something really powerful about this idea. I think most peoples default, through good intentions, is to care way too much about their work. Its important to want to do a good job, but not at the expense of your own mental health. Especially as companies can and will toss you to the curb at a moments notice.
ancientweasel@reddit
It took me over a decade to learn it.
fakehalo@reddit
Out with minimal viable product, in with model view controller!
(no idea what else those acronyms would mean)
sciences_bitch@reddit
In the context of the comment, where the first word is “caring” and the advice is “caring less”, I assume the “C” stands for “Caring”.
Minimum Viable Caring.
ancientweasel@reddit
Ding ding.
ElliotAlderson2024@reddit
Burnt out multipole times over 25+ year career. Came back stronger each time.
kanzenryu@reddit
Allow yourself a mental budget. You can care about a project more than then minimum amount and work a few extra hours to help it... but beyond a certain limit be prepared to just let go.
wiseaus_stunt_double@reddit
I took up smoking cigars. It's not the healthiest thing to do, but my wife smokes cigarettes, and it allows us to spend time with each other more and peels me away from staring at a computer screen all day.
No-Butterscotch-3641@reddit
Take an overseas holiday for 2 to 3 weeks if you can afford the time and money. Getting out of your current environment will allow you to decompress.
rwaycr@reddit
Took a much chiller job, got therapy to sort out a whole bunch of issues (which led to me quitting the toxic job in the first place), got married, focused on more therapy, coasted too much at the new job, regretted it, pivoted into management at the same job. Now, I am trying to develop a sincere appreciation for programming and will be interviewing after the current health crisis (cancer) passes.
project_tactic@reddit
Changed job. A more relaxed environment. I also work only 9-5. When the clock hits 17.00 , I'm out of home (WFH) to friends family etc. Wherever. The key is to find a relaxed environment. Even better I'm now jack of all trades, programming devops management a bit, senior tram leader. It helps me to not get bored burned with routines like too much coding etc.
And remember, you define your speed and working hours. You keep your speed where you think it's safe. If they are not happy, let them fire you. It's better fired than burned.
Imaginary-Cupcake328@reddit
I’ve learned that only time and proper rest heals burnout and sometimes it takes months to recover. You don’t have to quit, you can still switch jobs and keep working while recovering but you need to dedicate time to rest and sleep. With time you’ll see that your getting better and are able to work more effectively and do coding/learning outside work. When I’m burned out I can’t even learn new things outside of work
aqjo@reddit
Rest and sleep are so important. Rest being times when your brain is not preoccupied with Reddit, TikTok, YouTube, etc. Have a coffee and look out a window. Go to a gym and pick up heavy stuff.
These times, as well as when sleeping, are when our brains “catch up”. They process things we’ve been consciously or subconsciously thinking about, consolidate memories, etc.
It is also natural to grieve about these situations. It’s kind of like divorce. There is lots to process.
Therapy can be helpful in these situations too. Talking to a trained person can help you discover and work through things you didn’t realize.
looktothenorth@reddit
I want to emphasize this. Rest is not on social media. I found that when i was most burned out and just doom scrolling endlessly, I was not 'healing' from the burnout. True quiet time, like sitting on my balcony, going on a hike/bike ride, going for a walk around the city were the real things that made me feel better.
KWillets@reddit
The one exception to this rule that I've found is that I've benefited by networking with sane people (even on LinkedIn which can devolve into lunacy) and going to meetups.
My environment had become so poisoned by political games that conversing with people actually interested in doing good engineering work was refreshing.
Nonetheless you have to curate these relationships carefully.
Ill-Ad2009@reddit
Time off will help immensely, and the more you have, the better you will be. Honestly it took me like 6 months to fully recover from burnout. I got laid off from my job where I had a similar situation with a very overbearing manager who would make very confident assertions without understand the code base at all and would essentially steamroll people who didn't agree.
Given your current financial situation, you might see if leaving your job now to reset is feasible. Just bear in mind that there is always the risk that the new job will rescind their offer.
gorlax92@reddit
Is quitting an option so you have a couple months before starting the new job? Just to reset your brain and do nothing but relax.
ThenIWasAllLike@reddit
Yeah, getting a new job is the best opportunity to take a big gap.
If they are pushing back on that idea as part of accepting I’ll either take it as a red flag and walk or lie and say the timing needs to line up with an important project I’m finishing.
ScriptingInJava@reddit
This is what massively helped me. Spent a month doing anything but being on the computer.
Found random places to visit local to me, spent a day at a local game store, watched 4 film at a cinema and ate out etc.
Just did anything but be in front of a screen at a desk for a month, completely reset my brain.
BeenThere11@reddit
Check if you are depressed due to all the circumstances. It will feel like lethargy, no energy .
1Mee2Sa4Binks8@reddit
Gave notice. Moved home with my parents. Rested for a couple of months. Worked on a hobby project for a while. Then I found a new job locally in an entirely different industry.
TitusBjarni@reddit
Left the profession for nearly 2 years, worked in retail, traveled, learned a different language. I started to miss the creativity and power of software development.
csanon212@reddit
It took me almost 2 years to recover from 1 year of trauma from a startup. I think this is similar for how long it takes to get over a break-up (2 years for every 1 year you are together)
Dry_Ruin_1743@reddit
needed a year off
editor_of_the_beast@reddit
You need to “palette cleanse” your brain. Spend a while letting go of work. Don’t take decisions that don’t go your way personal. Don’t get involved in crazy technical debates with no real right answer.
And most importantly take up an activity outside of work that you can really focus on. Ironically, it’s like a CPU. You have to flush all of the instructions out of your mind related to work.
gowithflow192@reddit
You may not like this but I'm of the opinion that burnout is due to the person burnt out not coping properly with their environment and letting the spark turn into a proverbial wildfire when it could have been arrested earlier.
I speak from my own experience and also working with others who burned out and became toxic to others as a result.
If such a person doesn't learn lessons to apply next time it will happen again and again.
ocxricci@reddit
I’ve had a burnout, so I stepped away from work by one month to recover to the point where I could do basic things. Then I moved to a new job with less stress and it took me one year to feel good at work again - I’ll never be the same, my relationship with work changed after this episode
FunEnvironmental6461@reddit
I took a 3 month fmla leave and started wellbutrin.
bobsbitchtitz@reddit
I got a second job so I’m no so stressed about the first one and it’s kinda working. My attitude has changed to fire me I dare you.
Before I sucked up, attended all the meetings and said yes more often than no. Now I only strictly attended meetings that I must and say no more often than yes.
jonmitz@reddit
I forget the ratio but there is a relationship between the number of months you are burned out and working to the number of months it takes to recover. I think it’s somewhere around 2x but varies of course
raobjcovtn@reddit
Detach yourself emotionally from work
4444For@reddit
In 2021, I was working from home with 2 contacts at the same time, while holding my new born daughter. I still laugh sometimes at pictures from that year - having 2 separate laptops opened and holding an infant:) I needed money back then to recover from buying an apartment and also spending money on renovations.
Needless to say I burned out in 1 year, but I keep pushing to close the mortgage. At the end it was so bad to the point that I couldn't make a simple junior level task. I was so stressed that my hair fell out.
At some point I couldn't do it anymore. I've terminated my contracts and went for vacation. Then I didn't work for a few months just recovering and taking care of my mental health. Physical exercise helped a lot. But I think the main thing was that I just stopped working. It took a few years for my hair to recover, but they didn't recover completely. Stress is a bitch.
After that I've sold this apartment and moved to a different country 😁
Take care of yourself and your health, ask for help if you feel like you are sinking. 🙏
Fantosism@reddit
Burnout is when reality doesn't match with expectations.
You cure this by dropping your expectations so low that reality looks wonderful, or you grind until your reality is a bit closer to your expectations.
You have a few months until your next job? Either Office Space your computer until you start the next one, or find the time to do that project you've been putting off for years because work just keeps getting in the way.
Maybe you try and get an interview every week until the new job kicks in. Maybe you go back to being a luddite and pretend that we never tricked lightning-charged rocks into thinking.
The crux of the issue, it's all on you. Write out some goals, accomplish them. You'd be surprised how effective checking things off a list is in managing burnout.
engineered_academic@reddit
Took like 6 months off and just did whatever I liked.
You have the benefit of having a job lined up.
My new job is a step down in pay and responsibilities but I am liking it.
HypeBrainDisorder@reddit
I am in same situation. Except I don’t have a job lined up. I quit and will life off my savings for awhile.
I feel my manager also won, I am too old to be going through this and have a kid.
I don’t know how things ended up like this. I can’t find joy anywhere.
progmakerlt@reddit
Read a book, cooking and cutting grass in the summer house.
5olArchitect@reddit
Few good nights sleep and working out
cyberlordsumit@reddit
i took a 4.5 month Respite and stopped working for that duration and did a course instead, part time.
It was a linguistic course, unrelated to IT.
And then when i felt like it, I rejoined the Workforce in another company fpr 2x the salary. then made another Jump with 3x that salary again in 1 year.
Rain-And-Coffee@reddit
Time off, Hobbies, fun personal projects.
Basically anything beyond boring work stuff
nacixenom@reddit
Take some time off if possible, starting a new job should be a little bit of a break assuming you have some time to ramp up at the new place.
I've been at the same place for almost 10 years now and the thing I've learned is to just take some time doing things, you don't need to give it 100% all the time. For me, its not worth working my ass off and stressing out just to get an extra 1-2% on my raise each year.
limpleaf@reddit
Take a longer vacation, be near family and friends. Help out your grandparents in the garden. Don't think about work and understand life is way more than that.
oneMoreTiredDev@reddit
honestly? fresh air... different job, client, project something that makes you excited about tech again, something that'll give you the will to learn and evolve
unlucky_bit_flip@reddit
I found hobbies to keep my sanity in check. For me, playing instruments. Guitar alone has saved me thousands of dollars of therapy. Lol.
boastfuldred4@reddit
10yrs exp - I am burnt out to the point of no return - barely got energy to get a glass of water for myself. But I don't want to lose my job and go through the painful process of job hunting in this economy - that'll kill me.
certainlyforgetful@reddit
I got laid off.
At 2 months I felt a ton better and after a year I felt optimistic and energetic like I did when I got my first job.
It’s a lot easier to fall into the hole the 2nd time though. The first time I got burned out it took 8 years of a bad manager & shitty deadlines. This time it happened after 4 months with a new colleague who “knows it all” with zero tangible experience & a manager who has never managed professional/creative employees before.
It’s hard to dig out from this hole. But the only way to do it is by taking care of yourself.
hell_razer18@reddit
acknowledging that you had a burnout was one of the key, at least for me personally. Then it took around 2 to 3 weeks to learn with the new boundary and understand how far you can push things or let stuff that you can ignore.
Some people forgive and forget easier, others dont. Do other stuff as well, dont stuck with your work
TheCoffeeHoldingMan@reddit
Remember this statement: Only good people burn out.
I've never heard of a slacker or employee who doesn't give a fuck of burning out. There in lies your answer.
AdNegative7025@reddit
Lots of anime and sleep and dog cuddles and the occasional life crisis “WHY AM I ALIVE” and cookies
Technical-Cicada-602@reddit
Dog cuddles fix almost anything tbh.
roger_ducky@reddit
Burnout is actually very similar to living through a traumatic experience.
So, writing down your feelings about the experience often helps.
It’s not so you can review it later, though sometimes doing that helps too. It’s just to “pour” the negative emotions out into a physical object.
Even with that, it still might take you months or years to recover fully.
But, you can try telling yourself that you’ve hit rock bottom at that original horrible place, and the new place can’t possibly be worse. Repeat that enough times and it might calm you down a bit.
nickisfractured@reddit
I’d just check out mentally from the current job and quiet quit, from my experience burn out is 100% your perspective vs being physically tired. Everyone on this thread is saying to rest and take time off but that hardly works, because if you have a bad environment and a bad perspective on your day to day the second you wake up with dread and walk through the office doors your 100% back to where you were even if you took a month off.
Most devs I know love their job, problem solving, learning new things, working with others etc so chances are unless you’re going from the frying pan into the fire with your new job it’s going to be a fresh start that will inspire you to get back to your old self.
You can even start now by creating boundaries mentally at your current job, starting to deinvest in involving yourself so personally and deeply from your work and the success of the company, understanding that your boss and management are also very unhappy and stop sacrificing yourself for them and their ways of working. That doesn’t mean you have to be combative or defensive, but just stop emotionally putting so much on the line. You work 9-5, you accept whatever stupid things they want, and you push the best code you can without trying to squeeze water from a stone. Keep reminding yourself this is only temporary and that you’ve already got 1.5 feet out the door. Just collect a paycheque until it’s over.
Haunting_Welder@reddit
Burnout is called by overwork. The treatment is to not work
Eyedema@reddit
honestly, the only thing that works for me is taking a couple weeks every 3 months or so. Or just take some days to have several consecutive 4-day weeks. Basically, to recover from burnout I don’t have to do any work. Sounds basic but that’s it.
Mundane-Mechanic-547@reddit
Honestly I usually need to leave the position altogether. I took a massive pay/prestige hit to go back to a full stack dev from sr mgmt but it was so crucial. We have time back now, I can pick up the kids from school. I can do non-work things instead of 60 hour weeks.
Kaizen321@reddit
Left that job. Got me a new one with less pressure and more professional appreciation.
(Took a payout but worth it…kinda)
mot-cancellations@reddit
Pay cut I am assuming?
Kaizen321@reddit
Haha yes. Fixed my typo.
I did get a bonus (everyone who join last year 2023 got a nice sign up bonus)
reddit_again_ugh_no@reddit
Time off. Exercise. Therapy. If you take the new job, go easy.
sus-is-sus@reddit
Usually the 3 months it takes to find work after getting fired.
BBMolotov@reddit
Work life balance respecting how I feel each day, changing jobs to a job that interested me more and had less pressure, exercising every day, having a healthy life style, meditating
HoratioWobble@reddit
I've had a couple, the first time I carried on working but I pulled back on basically everything else to give myself space and take away pressure.
The second time I took 3 months off.
It takes time, patience, rest and if you can - therapy.
Cool_As_Your_Dad@reddit
I try to go on vacation, take a break etc. Don't want to see any code/dev for a while..
FImilestones@reddit
Changed jobs.
Spiritual-Theory@reddit
Smaller companies can have better motivation built in, autonomy, ownership, ability to grow, feeling like you're making a difference, frequent shared successes. Hope your next gig doesn't crush your spirit like this one. Well done to move on.
I'm in a company that also doesn't realize how engineers are motivated, the pay is great unfortunately. I found a niche role inside the engineering dept. where I can learn and have lots of impact. I couldn't have stayed otherwise. Some days it's great.
-Dargs@reddit
I usually get close to burned out when I work too hard for too long. So when that happens, I'm ahead in my work, and I can just slack for a couple of weeks and deliver at the same pace as my colleagues. I'll play video games or take a vacation, and just give my boss a heads up that I need to take it slow for a few because I'm tired.
Hasn't failed me yet, granted I've only felt the need to communicate I was burning out once before. Usually I can just silently take a step back and nobody really notices because the backlog of completed work takes time to get out anyway.
zoqfotpik@reddit
For me, I spent a few months doing home maintenance and watching anime, and occasionally doing some programming when it sounded fun.
It helped.
greensodacan@reddit
It may get better pretty quickly when you're in a new environment, but you're still in the old one right now so that's why you're still depressed.
Burnout, generally speaking, is caused by not having the agency to solve the problems you feel need solving. (Which is exactly what you described.) The best thing you can do right now is find ways to take back agency in your life.
abrandis@reddit
Put the onus on the company and your manager, in other words don't give a sh*t about things beyond your control, life is about balance and it sounds like your work isn't a very mentally balanced place...
casualPlayerThink@reddit
You know, many of us has this weird hobby as we do not like the idea to starve to death.
LordPichu@reddit
Get a psychologist (cognitive behaviour oriented I'd recommend), you must feel comfortable with him/her. Do a couple of sessions and explain yourself.
He/she will give you the best advice or even treatment.
However I personally recommend you to take a break asap and find some minimal mind effort activity, like hiking (there are easy routes), bowling, or idk, gardening, your choice. This activity should require a consistent but seamless input from your side, so your cortisol level goes down but not plummeting into the opposite extreme of doing nothing.
Also I have read a book called "The better brain", it's not so new but it does recommend healthy food and supplements for brain nutrition. You will need to recover some gray matter after these intense times.
christophersonne@reddit
I'm not. I won't be. I've just learned to cope in some places and set strict work-life boundaries now.
Therapy helps, but you don't recover easily, possibly ever.
Southern-Reveal5111@reddit
From 2021 to mid-2024, I experienced burnout after nearly three years of working over 12 hours a day to meet deadlines. By late 2022, I asked for a promotion, but my manager gaslighted me, leaving me feeling inadequate and depressed about my skills. When I requested detailed feedback, he gave absurd reasons, often comparing me to others who didn't have that skill, which was both surprising and disheartening.
Eventually, I decided to stop doing extra work. I scaled back to minimum hours and mostly attended meetings. Interestingly, my relationships with colleagues improved because I stopped obsessing over code quality. Now, I work around 6-7 hours a day, attend many meetings, and have adopted a more detached approach. I sometimes mislead or gaslight people, even influencing them to make stupid decisions. I fucked up lead's career by splitting his team in half. While this hasn’t been a decent career gain, it gives me a sense of satisfaction.
On a personal note, I’ve rediscovered my old hobby of reading books and have invested time in learning Rust, which has brought a refreshing change to my routine. I also realized that the tech landscape has changed a lot since Corona.
GronklyTheSnerd@reddit
Go outside. Seriously, going out and walking in state parks has done me the most good of anything I’ve tried.
Spider_pig448@reddit
Take a step back sometimes and remind yourself that everyone deals with bullshit in their daily job, but most barely get a livable wage out of it, and we get to retire in our 40's if we want. Look at your paystubs now and then and you'll find new energy.
kallekul@reddit
Rest and reflect. Be honest with your true and deep values and motivations in life. Then take empowering action, step by step, one day at a time.
jesuiscequejesuis@reddit
I've been forcing myself to try to learn something new, just to have something other than just work to focus on. It's only partially helped, but it's something.
I took some time off after the last big project I was on, but it was hard clearing my mind given the state of things outside work at the moment. YMMV.
talldean@reddit
Work to look productive even if you aren't, and get more rest. If you're not feeling better after a few weeks, month tops, see if you're getting *enough* rest, and if you don't look productive, the worst they can do here is fire you. It may take *months* to fully recover from a full burnout, it's basically event-triggered clinical depression, which is no joke.
Take at least a few weeks between those jobs; moving to the new one while flat out roasted won't go well.
PretendOil8923@reddit
Take a break if you can. And remember that soon enough this will all just be a memory and a “god remember when I was working on that terrible project” story.