Iv met these ones. I actually think they know really but the confident attitude is an attempt to convince themselves that it's not all bad..... When in actual fa t it is indeed all bad.

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ScallionOk6420@reddit

You realise your fellow reddit mod will read this, right?

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Confidence..

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WeeklyAssignment1881@reddit

Standards, you have some...

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WhatYouLeaveBehind@reddit

However, he thought that he was very well respected and liked, knew everything and was generally better than everybody else.

They always do, because nobody ever tells them otherwise.

I bet everyone is super nice to him because they don't want to say anything offensive, probably to the point he's the only guy everyone is nice to.

How can you not take that to mean you're liked and respected?

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DeepGiro@reddit

Perfect Neckbeard behaviour.

While travelling in the US, I wanted to send a package back home. I went to the post office and asked how much it would cost to send my package to England. The clerk responded, “New England?” I clarified, “No, the country England.” To my surprise, she insisted, “England isn’t a country; it’s a state.” I replied, “England is also a country—and it’s where I’m from.”

We went around in circles like this for about five minutes until she finally checked with a colleague. Her mind was blown when I explained that New England was actually named after the country England.

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rabbidasseater@reddit

In fairness you should have stated UK .

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pinkthreadedwrist@reddit

No... Someone should know that fucking ENGLAND is a country.

It's a source a lot of people look to for basic information..... most people dgaf if it's trusted or not. Unfortunately that means dumb shit like basics on whether something is a fucking country or not gets politically revved up and put in incorrectly.

I will use this as an example to my students as to why Wikipedia isn't good. Not that they give a shit either. Nobody gives a shit.

Fuck it.

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They shouldn't have to, but yes, since the UK is treated as one country for postal purposes, it would seem the logical thing to explain to them that England is part of the UK, which they might (or might not) have heard of. I guess the clerk never wondered why so many place names in the US (and elsewhere) have the prefix "New". Will they be similarly confused if someone wants to send mail to Mexico?

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gyroda@reddit

Will they be similarly confused if someone wants to send mail to Mexico?

FenderForever62@reddit

A coworker who we all made fun of for being posh. She tried to insist that actually she wasn’t posh because she and her sister had to share a horse growing up.

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mand71@reddit

Tbf, my brother and his family are definitely not posh, and they've got three horses.

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FatStoic@reddit

robinthebum@reddit

I used to work with that guy! He was pretty quiet so it was a shock to see that he had a successful podcast on the outside world.

"But why? Do they make wind?"

"...What...? Yeah... Sure... They're so people's washing on the line dries faster..."

forfar4@reddit

A PhD friend of mine works in the industrial chemistry industry.

A new starter was a real prodigy. PhD at 17, hyper-genius type kid.

My friend's company wanted the prodigy so desperately that they offered a senior-level salary and choice of (saloon) car - at seventeen.

Kid chose a BMW M3 and picked it up midweek, brand spanking new.

My friend went to visit him at his home on Friday evening after work, just to make sure he was setting in okay, to find the kid washing the car on his parents' drive.

"Giving the paintwork a real clean!" beamed the kid, halfway through, Brillo pad in hand...

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Hatanta@reddit

PhD at 17

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In this case the person taking the decision knew who the culprit was only "unofficially" so there wasn't a whole lot they could do other than do the ban if they didn't admit to it.

Besides, they also knew the PhD students kept all sorts of not permitted things in their offices (untested heaters, hidden toasters, etc.) so they knew the PhDs weren't missing out.

My friend couldn’t understand how I could log in to my amazon profile on his firestick to watch a movie. I tried numerous ways of explaining it starting with, it’s like me checking my emails or Facebook on your computer. He just kept saying “no don’t get it. HOW”

I just gave up in the end it was frustrating

He also doesn’t get what “fuck off” means as he keeps messaging me

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Icy_Mistake2996@reddit

My current manager and a few team members

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Alternative-Land5916@reddit

great story thanks

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Icy_Mistake2996@reddit

Wanna know more?

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Where_Stars_Glitter@reddit

My ex-MIL grew up so privileged that when she bought my and I a dishwasher for the house we shared together, she said "now you won't have to go through the trauma of washing up."

Love, I wish your kinda trauma was my kinda trauma. My kinda trauma was your bloody son.

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IllustriousApple1091@reddit

Do you mind if I ask what your ex was like? Was he as clueless as his mum?

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Where_Stars_Glitter@reddit

His mom was raised an upper-class socialite and his dad was a Freemason with the worst "holier than thou" attitude I've ever experienced. He was basically a watered-down mix of both of them. Not quite as embarrassing and cunty as them, but definitely had the potential to be so. He did also have a sweet side, at least for the first few years, but the sanctimony and pretentiousness got worse in the last year or two.

My first clue should have been six weeks into the relationship when we had a silly, small tiff, and when I said "all I want is an apology" he replied with "I don't say sorry".

Stupid 19-year-old kid, I was. If I could go back and slap some sense into me I would.

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WheresMyAbs98@reddit

Judging from this I imagine it wasn’t easy to live with you either.

You seem like a permanent victim.

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Where_Stars_Glitter@reddit

I will admit I definitely should have stood up for myself more often when he spoke down to me like a dog. I didn't feel like a victim of anything during the relationship though, I justified all of his behaviours to myself. Funnily enough, after we broke up, all of my family said he treated me "like a cunt" and none of them liked him. Would have been nice to be told that much earlier, but I understand I probably wouldn't have listened anyway.

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immachode@reddit

Yep, I had an ex who would never apologise because “the moment was gone”. I stuck around him for waaaaay longer than I should have!

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deathschemist@reddit

i don't understand people like that, i apologize too much, if anything, because i've got ADHD and, hence, pretty severe rejection sensitive dysphoria.

I have a neighbour who lives in a 2 bedroom council house, she has 4 kids to 2 different dads, the oldest 2 are at primary school. She's never worked, she has terrible fights with her boyfriend which leads to police and social services involvement.

She employed a nanny to work for her 5 days a week to cook, clean and take her kids to school (a 10 min walk away).

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Majestic-Pen-8800@reddit

How does she afford this?

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Mecryyou@reddit

She told another neighbour she gets a monthly mental health payment and she uses that. It didn't last longer than a month or so. The nanny soon quit that shit show.

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Majestic-Pen-8800@reddit

Amazing! The brass neck of some people is wild!

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lkdomiplhomie@reddit

We were sitting outside a club, just chilling and having some drinks with the guys. Out of nowhere, we spot two girls walking past, so we call them over to join us at our table. One of the girls wastes no time and straight-up asks, “What cars do you guys drive?”

At first, we thought she was joking, so we casually mentioned what we drive. Big mistake. The moment my buddy says he drives a Porsche, she completely ignores the rest of us and is all over him. It was like a switch flipped.

bb79@reddit

It’s now also spread to inheritances. The Guardian had an article yesterday.

Today’s family tales of misfortune and opportunity echo the pages of Dickens, and the modern dating game resembles the pages of Austen. While interracial relationships have increased, inter-class relationships have seemingly declined. In one UK survey, 40% of upper-class participants said they would not even consider entering a long-term relationship with someone from a different social class. A recent report from the Resolution Foundation concluded that: “People tend to couple up with those who have similar inheritance expectations to their own.”

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2024/nov/17/bank-of-mum-and-dad-why-we-all-now-live-in-an-inheritocracy

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rsbanham@reddit

Those YouTubers got a hold of my ex. It was madness.

“Your man should be earning 6 figures. If not, he should have a plan for doing so within 3 years.”

I moved to Germany 6 years ago. I went from being the weekend dishwasher to kitchen manager in 12 months. It was underpaid, and I had to stay longer there due to Covid, but as soon as things started opening up again I got myself a position that increased my disposable income by 70%. Personally I thought that was a very good sign but it was not enough. Because…

“A man without religion cannot be trusted. Where do his morals come from? A man without religion can just change his beliefs because he has no religious basis.”

It didn’t occur to her that her beliefs were changing because a YouTuber told her what to believe.

Basically she wanted to be absolved from all responsibility within the relationship and because “she’s a woman. A womb-an” (quote from YouTuber), she must have special treatment.

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Zavodskoy@reddit

I wish this wasn't true but it is, Used Tinder for about 6 weeks and got a handful of matches, stuck a bit in my bio mentioning I own my own home and started getting more matches a day than I'd get some weeks....

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HammockDistrictCourt@reddit

I can see this two ways tbh, yes it could be gold-digging, but equally could be just looking for someone who's not a sponger. When I was on Tinder, I'd be more likely to swipe right on someone with their own house/car - not because I want their money or possessions, I just don't want someone who's going to mooch off mine! 😅

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myonlinepersonality@reddit

Finance, 6-foot, blue eyes.

Yuck.

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LogicalWord5104@reddit

Excellent film that.

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lateunicorn@reddit

So you were stunned that the random girls you catcalled outside a club (presumably based on their looks rather than their personalities) were too shallow for your taste?

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NibblyPig@reddit

"Excuse me ladies, would you like to join us?"

Catcalling: The act of shouting a loud, sexually suggestive, threatening, or harassing call or remark at someone publicly

Jesus some people are out of control

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turntricks@reddit

Except the comment didn't say that, it said they "called them over" and OP hasn't clarified on the wording.

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NibblyPig@reddit

Yes, what I said was an example of that. Why jump to the most unlikely worst possible scenario?

DenseIce2988@reddit

I saw a woman at a pub impressed by a guy who told her he drove a Ferrari, as I was drinking outside eavesdropping on the conversation. He took her over to his rusty old Ferrari, I think the sort Jerremy Clarkson joked has a ford vans engine in it, certainly no Testarossa or F40! She got in it and they went off for a ride! Some women must truly just see the brand...

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BritishBlitz87@reddit

Maybe there were just car enthusiasts...

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lkdomiplhomie@reddit

Could be. The whole situation was just surreal

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Where was this mate

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BritishBlitz87@reddit

Found the lonely Porsche owner.

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Jolly_Constant_4913@reddit

Hiya mate, not onto a Porsche yet but if I know what to aim for it'll give me something to live for

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BritishBlitz87@reddit

I went to France and Italy and they all though my 1998 accord coupe was sick af.

r/passportbros

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lkdomiplhomie@reddit

Around 15 years ago in Brussels but still

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Jolly_Constant_4913@reddit

I'm not doubting you mate. Just want to know where these shallow girls hang out

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hoovegong@reddit

Which club?! Must have been uptown, right?

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Big-Parking9805@reddit

I went on holiday with a conspiracy theorist last year who told me that GTA6 was being released in 2025 to make the world distracted so that a new virus strain can be unleashed in the world by the Illuminati.

I knew he was chatting nonsense when he said the antichrist will come to Earth in the form of someone that everyone in the world likes, then named Elon Musk as that candidate.

Got a mate like that. He made me run a magnet over my arm after one jab and was quite surprised nothing happened. It was my canal fishing magnet, so quite a big one. I think he thought that if would rip nanobots out of my arm.

I admit I was disappointed with that too. I was quite looking forward to being hooked up to Bill Gates hive mind and having free internet and 5G.

I assume this was before the unpleasantness, otherwise I hope you would have called him Judas and refused the handshake

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Big-Parking9805@reddit

Yes, it was.

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ATSOAS87@reddit

Oh, I know the stories, I was wondering what your story was.

I saw a headline (I didn't read the article) that suggested he believes he should be knighted.

MrTurleWrangler@reddit

Checks out, we all know Nintendo orchestrated the first Covid strain so we all stayed in to play the conveniently released Animal Crosing game /s

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iron233@reddit

The Elon part checks out, but the rest is utter rubbish.

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Dazpiece@reddit

Apart from the "in the form of someone that everyone likes" bit, which I think the OP implied.

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Big-Parking9805@reddit

Yes. The conspirator basically said about how the antichrist would come down and do horrid things and could take the form of someone the whole world likes.

And then said "someone like Elon Musk is loved and respected by all, so it might even be him".

I'm a builder, we often use 3 4 5 geometry to draw a right angle, be it foundations, walls whatever. 3 units of anything to hand along the short side, 4 units along medium side, then 5 units across the corner was a perfect isosceles triangle with a 90° corner. This is first term geometry for 5 year olds

This customer was an engineer, was paid 150$ an hour fees for his consulting work.

He spent weeks trying to prove I was wrong because he had never heard it and didn't believe it would scale up. I would wind him up by drawing a right angles with sticks I found in his garden, cardboard boxes, anything but a tape measure, he would follow behind with a tape measure and a calculator trying to find fault.

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Dull-Huckleberry-122@reddit

Wouldn't scale up?! It's a ratio - scales up by definition, no? Hilarious.

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Unlikely-Ad3659@reddit

Yeah, that was the bit he couldn't get his head around, that it worked just as well with a ruler on a piece of paper as it did with an unknown length of wood and a bit of string to put up a fence.

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BirdHistorical3498@reddit

I once met a lady in New York who asked me where I was from- I said England but I live in Scotland now.

She said Scotland is like Sweden right?

I said no, it’s part of the UK just above England, like Canada is to the states.

She blinked at me. So, near London?

No, I said, London is the capital of England.

Oh, she says, so I have this friend in Paris, (gave me the name) you’ve probably met her?

No. Paris is a city of over 2 million people and it’s in an entirely different country.

She smiled like she’s caught me out in some way But it’s all Europe, right?

Sure, I said, but there’s like 51 countries in Europe and about 700 million people. So the chances in me meeting your friend who lives about 800 miles away from me in a city in another country is like you randomly knowing a friend of mine in Atlanta or somewhere.

To be fair to her, she's probably got "Warsaw Pact" in her subconscious and it threw up Russia.

Western-Mall5505@reddit

I think I went through canary wharf to get to Greenwich on a Saturday and I think the only people there, were people like me going to Greenwich.

I think the person I was working with, said the marks and Spencer in that area didn't open on a Saturday.

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Emphasis_Total@reddit

Nah. All the shops are open. Terms of their lease require them to be open when the malls are open

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Shoddy-Computer2377@reddit

I once went on a long drive on business, thinking "It's a Sunday afternoon, the M25 will be empty".

In my experience, 8am is actually quite a good time to use the M25 (assuming no roadworks).

I think this is probably because most people driving on it at that time know where their junction is and where they are going and are confident driving on motorways. This means you get fewer people braking and changing lanes late as they almost missed their junction or not realising that their lane comes off.

lawrence-of-aphasia@reddit

I’m not 100% certain that this is true, but it was told to me in confidence about fifteen years ago by a guy who worked in the sustainability department of a certain county council in England.

A wind turbine had been set up in a place that proved a poor spot. As a result it seldom ever worked. Members of the public would regularly contact the energy department noting how underwhelming it was that this blight on the landscape didn’t seem to even work.

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RockNMelanin@reddit

"But where are you really from" always gets my blood boiling.

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starlinguk@reddit

I see you've met my mother.

I may have convinced my step son of this exact thing at one point. They’re wind farms, where they make the wind. Duh.

He no longer believes a word I say.

Fair.

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Efnysien88@reddit

Bloke I worked with thought we'd already cured cancer, but the cure was hidden from us.

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RedRiter@reddit

I have a list of standard questions I like to fire back to anyone making this point, starting with asking what is the biggest killer disease in this country, then progressing to asking which specific types of cancer you think it works against, then asking who specifically is supressing it, like is it all pharma companies, or just one, or are governments involved? Like if you have the view that taxation is theft and the government is exploiting us, wouldn't the government desperately want a cure for cancer, so they can stop funding cancer care from their income, and also put all the now cured people into work so they can keep stealing from us? and if you knew for sure there was a cure and your wife or child was dying from cancer, would you let "them" win and cover up the cure or just blow the whistle on it to save your kids life.....etc...

....anyway, I'll do you one better, and give you someone who thought "they wouldn't release a cure for cancer" and then later asked why I was putting suncream on before heading out. My explanation about the UV index for the day was rapidly met with glazing eyes and a statement that "I dunno if you can really trust what they say about that or what's actually in suncream...."

I saw a politician turn around to my headteacher in a high school in a deprived area and ask her why she didn’t just ask the children to behave…

I said, "Yeah, you haven't used any pegs..."

She looked at me completely gone out and said, "Do you have to do that?"

This, all day this. My kids moan like fuck when we get them to do these sort of things and then tell them the proper way to do it.

Hopefully it will run off eventually and I won't be responsible for adding to the population of useless adults in a few years time

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scotiaboy10@reddit

Money

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Chance-Albatross-211@reddit

I had to show my first boyfriend how to make an instant coffee for my mum when she dropped me at his house. He was 17.

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Knew someone who believed in god and angels and the afterlife, they weren't religious tho.

Then after a 10 minute conversation on the topic she revealed she didn't believe in dinosaurs!!! We all had a collective aneurysm and tried to explain how there's fossils, she can go to a museum to see them. Last time we checked there were no fossils of angels. But she wasn't having any of it.

It was very similar to the Dennis Reynolds "there are fossil records, data" from it's always sunny, except it was way less funny when confronted by an actual adult that believed this!

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Interceptor@reddit

I've mentioned this on Reddit before, but I had a flatmate once who didn't believe in dinosaurs either. We were like "but what about the skeletons at the museum..?". She told us she though they were "like, big dogs or something".

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Eayauapa@reddit

Did she think that Clifford was a documentary?

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TKuja1@reddit

well there we have it

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cmrndzpm@reddit

“like, big dogs or something”.

She’s kind of hilarious for this I can’t lie.

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SmokyBarnable01@reddit

Had a very dispiriting conversation with an acquaintance the other day. He couldn't believe that people got to Hawaii by boat, it had to be that they had been transported by UFOs.

He literally thought that it was more reasonable that they got there essentially by magic rather than that some human beings, over thousands of years, got really good at navigating by the stars, built seaworthy boats and followed ocean currents, birds and shoals of fish. Island hopping across Polynesia.

Turns out he's really into the Ancient Aliens thing and 'they don't want us to know' stuff. OK but 'who is they?' Predictably enough it turns out that 'they' are the jews.

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Competitive_Art_4480@reddit

How can you not be religious if you believe in god?

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Round_Seesaw6445@reddit

Someone must be selling angel fossils. There must be a bit of money init

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phatboi23@reddit

Last time we checked there were no fossils of angels. But she wasn't having any of it.

there was that 1 episode of the Simpsons.

oh yeah it was a fake stunt for a fictional mall...

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yagoodpalhazza@reddit

Science is a liar sometimes. Those fossils could be a dead dog

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Silver-Machine-3092@reddit

... with teeny tiny front paws

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Apprehensive-Sir358@reddit

I met a woman who thought Kazakhstan was in the EU and couldn’t tell the difference between North and South Korea. Not the worst offender in this thread but I was baffled by her lack of general knowledge.

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Bardsie@reddit

I worked with a woman who a few years ago was very confused when the office was talking about the upcoming eclipse. She could understand what an eclipse was, because "the sun and the moon are the same thing right?"

This reminds me of a couple of friends who went on holiday to Morocco and befriended another couple who were Americans. This particular day they had arranged dinner out at a restaurant and time was getting on and no sign of the Americans. A quick text revealed they were on the roof so my then friends went up and asked them to politely get a move on and what were they staring at as they were both looking up at the night sky? The Americans replied "Duh it's the 4th of July we're waiting for the fireworks"

Years ago my best friend had an American girlfriend who he met when playing an online game.

London, yes. But the further out you go, it becomes questionable.

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Jolly_Constant_4913@reddit

Fair question 🤣

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TangerineFew6830@reddit

My mum told me, ‘the houses on my road are affordable’ starting at 600k.

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FatStoic@reddit

My Mum keeps extolling the virtues of all the for-sale houses near her then hopefully looking at me.

It's nice to feel wanted at least.

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feralhog3050@reddit

I think we maybe have the same mum. Mine showed me an article in the Radio Times (yes, really) about child benefit being cut & would it affect me, and I had to explain how, as a part-time cleaner, I do not earn anywhere near the £50k threshold. Nor, on a different topic, can I just decide to "take a short city break" for a change of scenery

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DewLally@reddit

Me - when I realised in my late 20s that stars in the night sky are bigger than the sun. I thought they were football sized 🥲

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Specialist_Sound2609@reddit

I'm a female electrician, the amount of guys i've worked with that think periods work like having a piss

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gillyc1967@reddit

Ah yes, the ones who think you can just hold it in. Do they think women just waste money on tampons for fun?

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FatStoic@reddit

Do they think

no

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Bbew_Mot@reddit

Sounds like they are shockingly ignorant! ⚡️

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People hearing my Bristolian accent & presuming it's totally OK to slag off people from the rest of the UK / Ireland / France. Which would be a lot of my relatives. Similarly, Swedes presuming I'm one of them (I'm not, but I'm fluent) & thinking it's OK to have a go at immigrants.

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neilm1000@reddit

People hearing my Bristolian accent

Similarly, Swedes presuming I'm one of them

Please, please tell me that you speak Swedish with a Bristolian accent.

Please, please tell me that you speak Swedish with a Bristolian accent.

From Malmöl?

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phil413066@reddit

A friend of mine who had a wife who thought the sun and the moon were the same thing

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LauraDurnst@reddit

When I was in high school, my dad (single parent) lost his business and had to declare bankruptcy. Very scary time - hiding behind the couch from bailiffs, close to homelessness sort of thing.

I struggled at university. I was the first in my family to go. It was an expensive, southern city, and I’m from a shitty northern town. I was doing well academically, went to every lecture and seminar but I had very little disposable, and I worked. Money was tight. I didn’t go out drinking and getting fucked up like a lot of people do because I just straight up couldn’t afford to. I would go out with people and drink tap water. Eventually they stopped inviting me out. I think some of them thought I had some moral objection to drinking and I was judging them, but I just preferred being able to eat.

I was in one of the common rooms in my faculty building and overheard some of my course mates chatting about money. Some guy was salty because mummy wouldn’t give him any more money that month. He’s complaining to his friend and says “ugh my mum just doesn’t understand how it is here, like if a grand gets spent in a month then a grand gets spent in a month, I don’t get what her problem is.”

Bruh.

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Fine_Battle5860@reddit

Probably my family and I- up until 40 weeks pregnant I believed the umbilical cord went from the baby’s belly button to the mothers so it was a baby anchor. Unfortunately other family members who are medical professionals believed this 🤦‍♀️

To be fair, I believed that for a while. It took far too long for the Lancet to retract that paper. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2831678/

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HardAtWorkISwear@reddit

I tend to zone out when people around me are being out of touch, I'm not sure I could dope if I retained all of that.

I will say, however, the guy on that video that thought you shat into your hands before depositing it into the toilet was pretty up there.

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Illustrious_Study_30@reddit

I knew an HR manager who had zero understanding that we were still part of Europe despite leaving the EU. She absolutely swore we were no longer European.

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This thread showcases British humour at its best :)

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Deep_Banana_6521@reddit

My mother in law while we were planning a family holiday to Tunisia asked me once "how many Euros should I bring?" I laughed and said "None, they use Dinar there"

And she looked at me like I was an idiot and said "not dollars, euros".

I said "no, Dinars, they're in North Africa, they use Dinars"

She said "AFRICA? Will there be giraffes and safari tours there?"

I said "no, we're a long way away from the sahara" and brought up google maps on my phone to show her. When I turned the screen to show her the map of the world, she pushed it away and said "not bothered".

filbert94@reddit

Genuinely want to go on dates like. Just be sat there with an absolute nutter. Better than telly.

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Icy_Obligation4293@reddit

One of my mates is a David Icke fan. If anybody even slightly entertains any of his thoughts even for a single polite second, he won't shut the fuck up for an hour. If he ever brings up anything adjacent to Icke, it's a race among the rest of us to immediately ahut him down as witheringly as possible. Honestly don't know what it is about Icke but some people are obsessed.

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Dangerous_Diamond_43@reddit

A friend of mine comes out with some doozies .

A . Colosseum was rebuilt by the French in 1919 . Never mind the aftermath of WW1 or the Spanish flu , rebuilding the colosseum was their priority

B there were no trees until 1850 when aliens planted them

C. There was no cancer til 1870's. Again Aliens .

forfar4@reddit

My partner's aunt denied her son an inhaler for his chronic asthma because she knew homeopathy would help him to breathe. That poor guy didn't get an inhaler until he went to uni and away from his caring mother's clutches.

He then married a no-nonsense Northern girl who doesn't let Grandma have any say in their children's upbringing. The kids are healthy and delightful - well mannered, caring and sweet.

His sister, however, has grandma involved with her daughters and everything is done by homeopaths and other quackery - it's pretty much child abuse at this point.

My dad once called me in a panic and asked me to load our family PC in the car and drive it down to his work and put the phone down.

When I got there he explained that he was taking my mum and their friends to a concert that evening and the ticket people had sent the tickets to his email.

I’m like ‘okay, but why do I have the PC in the car’

Emergency-Aardvark-6@reddit

Her mum was pretty closed. She used to scare the shit out of me when we were 11. Not bad but never welcoming. Her demeanour never changed but there was an acceptance of sorts. I rarely saw her dad because he worked away. Couple of times I did meet him he was down to earth and funny!

We stopped speaking about 10 years ago. She couldn't get her head around my mh problems. I'm sure there's autism in there with her somewhere but both of us did try. We were friends for 30 years. I have actually tried to reach out but that was years ago. It's about time I tried again!

I honestly thought she was joking, so told her those are the hairs that hadn’t grown long enough yet, or are probably layers from previous haircuts.

She started ranting I hadn’t done what she’d asked for and I realised she thought I could magically make all her hair grow to the same length in the space of an hour for £28.

I laughed and told her politely as I could that I’d be a multi-billionaire several times over if I could actually do that, and the only way to get a ‘true’ one length cut would be a number 1 all over and was she interested in that option?

She was not impressed, begrudgingly paid and stormed out.

I wouldn’t have minded if she hadn’t told me I was stupid and she was a genius about a hundred times as we all make mistakes and misinterpret things, but that one was quite satisfying.

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Amphibian-Silver@reddit

I worked with a woman who was completely unaware of the existence of the channel tunnel. She had lived in Britain all her life and was of seemingly completely normal mental capability.

I was going to Paris for a few days and she asked me where I was flying from. I said that I wasn't flying but getting the train from Waterloo, and she was genuinely surprised that I was going by train, then she followed it up by asking "so how does that work? Do they put the train on the ferry?"

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_Red_Knight_@reddit

Tbf, I believe there are ferries for trains in some places.

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just_some_other_guys@reddit

That is how they used to take trains across the channel. They stopped doing it when the Chunnel opened.

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I want to preface this by saying that most people aren’t very bright, and they don’t think much past the surface level stuff. The problem here is you are taking that at face value and, ironically, willfully ignoring the complicated reality behind these proposals. Nobody who is serious about these things or is developing/pushing them as policy proposals believes they are all that’s necessary, or that by themselves they will solve any these problems. The specific things you mentioned are either first step(s), or ways to temporarily mitigate an ongoing issue (sometimes a more permanent solution isn’t yet politically viable, or the full fix will take a long time to implement). These are all legitimate policy proposals with detailed plans that involve a lot of other changes in order for them to work as intended.

It sounds like you belong in this thread, but rather as an example. All of your responses rely on bad faith arguments using deliberate distortion/oversimplification to make the opposing view seem ridiculous. Being deliberately obtuse =/= being clever or intelligent.

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NibblyPig@reddit

I do indeed, take what people say at face value. Because a lot of people genuinely have a chip on their shoulder for rich people, especially rich and successful people.

They will moan about how those people don't pay enough tax etc when those people firstly in real terms pay hundreds or thousands of times the tax that they themselves pay, and secondly pay as much tax as the government can squeeze out of them, in general terms. This is why we had so many problems with the budget, we can't just increase taxes because we get less tax.

There are a lot of people that do not understand that putting up the tax rate results in less tax. They just think that millionaires are getting away with it and insist on more taxation.

You're trying to hide behind it being 'complicated reality', the reality is very very simple, if you tax the rich more, you get less money, and the rich are already paying tax. E.g. Charles Dyson (who everyone hates now, despite him being the UK's biggest taxpayer) paid £150,000,000 in tax last year.

It's unclear what the specific things are I mentioned, because I didn't offer any solution, I merely said what people keep regurgitating over and over, tax the rich, tax the rich. Increasing the tax will make people leave the country, or downsize their business.

"All my responses", I haven't responded to anything just pointed out that people make this one false argument as my first point, and one false argument as their second point.

It seems like you've posted an argument to something else and shoehorned it into a reply to me.

I’ve known women who‘ve shown interest upon learning about my size 14 feet…

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Illithid_Substances@reddit

She genuinely thought that if a large amount of water was out together then it turned blue,

Well, it does. Water IS slightly blue, too little to be seen through a small thickness but more visible the more water you're looking through

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_Spiggles_@reddit

That's refraction, the water doesn't change colour.

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LordGeni@reddit

They are talking about the reflection of the sky making it blue.

However, water is actually blue, it absorbs more of the red end of the spectrum.

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csrster@reddit

I once had a coworker in the USA ask what time of year she should visit Scotland to get the most daylight. I replied that Scotland follows the Northern Hemisphere convention of having the longest days in the summer.

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EmbarrassedAlgae3661@reddit

People who think charity shops are there to provide as cheap as possible i.e. charitable purchases for them. They don’t seem to realise the shops are there to make as much money for charity as possible so the higher the price they can charge the better for the charity.

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Jar770@reddit

All the loathsome conspiracy theorists, without fail.

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rachelm791@reddit

My ex who asked how could they possibly know that a Brontosaurus was called a Brontosaurus.

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Jay4Kay@reddit

Had a friend in high school who was highly gullible and he believed some ridiculous things from God knows where:

Light sources do not produce light but instead suck up all the darkness.
All electrical appliances have a small, supposedly minuscule, amount of 'steam' in them that is crucial to their operation and when something breaks it is literally 'out of steam'.
This last one is a bit long but bear with me, it is hilarious. He said that Jewish people, during the holocaust, were given the stereotype of being greedy with money because when the nazis would give them money to buy bread, they would ask for the change in smaller currencies and insert them in their rectum as some sort of butt-plug, in an effort to force their bodies to digest the bread more thoroughly.

scarlettswirlyginga@reddit

Haha, that’s pretty wild! I guess we all have those "wait, what?!" moments. It's funny how some things just don’t make sense to people until it’s pointed out. Makes you wonder how many other little things we’re totally wrong about!

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Ecstatic_Effective42@reddit

Wait, so they're not being used to combat global warming?

I thought they'd been put up to blow on the air and cool it down, you know like when you have a hot meal. 😋

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sweetpeadumplings@reddit

I once asked an intern to pass me a piece of paper and rather than just taking some from the tray from the printer like normal people, said intern “printed a blank piece of paper” instead…

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CapturedFire@reddit

It's a toss up between the head of science at the Bluecoat school in Liverpool, a young earth creationist, who literally thinks fossils are a trick of the devil to make him question his faith and has said so on TV, or the GP who also used to run liverpool homeopathic hospital who thinks sugar pills are an appropriate treatment for amongst other things head injuries and traumatic grief.

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Comics4Cookies@reddit

I know too many people who think things like:

The earth is held up on pillars

The earth is less than 3000 years old

Carbon dating isn't real

Also met a person who believes the moon is fake. Not the moon landing, the whole moon.

Met some flat earthers

One guy told me bananas are sentient (well. Maybe?)

Oh and I knew a guy who thought he was the literal incarnation of the Egyptian god Anubis. And his ex gf who claimed she could literally turn into a "hellhound". When I asked her to prove it she told me it was too dangerous and she didn't want to hurt me lol.

All of these people were at least 27 and over.

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InfiniteRadness@reddit

Well, as everyone knows, bananas are not a fruit. Botanically, they’re a type of fish.

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Beneficial-Salt-6773@reddit

Knew a guy who thought the stars you see in the sky were in between the planets in our solar system.

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OxymoronSemantic@reddit

A colleague who genuinely believed the moon changed shape throughout the lunar cycle.

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Virtual_Wrongdoer_68@reddit

Haven't scrolled all the way to see if I'm repeating an earlier comment.

Ever spent time with someone ensuring a schizophrenic episode? Or bi-polar mania?

You'll question your own reality pretty quickly.

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Time-Post85@reddit

Myself?

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ExpressAffect3262@reddit

1) I used to work with a nurse who also comes from a farming family & was dating a farmer.

Her partners family gifted them a house, as apparently her partners families motto is to give a house to farmers in the family so they don't go homeless (some shit like that, it was a while ago).

She came into work one day complaining she had to pay things like utility bills & how shit it is, as she only used to pay her parents £40/month.

2) My wife thought hitler won the war.

3) My mum thought every country had their own moon.

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WoodSteelStone@reddit

Yesterday I was outside a supermarket waiting for it to open and overheard an elderly man tell someone if pet cats were sightly bigger they would play with their owners, torture them, then eat them.

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SwanBridge@reddit

With some of the psychotic cats I've encountered over the years I'm not quite sure he is wrong.

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gillyc1967@reddit

Now I'm picturing cats the size of a T. Rex

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Academic_Rip_8908@reddit

My sister-in-law's partner.

Total conspiracy theorist nutjob, believes that chemtrails cause covid, and that birds aren't real and they're just government drones. Literally shuts his blinds in the daytime incase a fucking robin looks through his window.

The worst part is that he parrots these mental beliefs to his kids and SOL does nothing about it.

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Agreeable_Fig_3713@reddit

Well I work in mental health nursing so obviously there are a lot. But in a non patient sense I once knew someone who completely believed than ancient Egyptians were descended from aliens because the pyramids and the sphinx were ‘impossible for the time’ and that the pictures in hieroglyphs and their gods (like the dog and bird headed ones) must have been their alien ancestors.

Poor sod. That's some proper learned helplessness there, clearly not prepared for the world and with very little resilience or agency.

Ex-collegaue thought hot dogs were made of dogs.

I once got told by a guy that I had to be a reincarnation of a pirate since I had an eyepatch over one eye.

I live in a small apartment block and one of my neighbours parents are so ridiculously arrogant and entitled I have no idea what reality they are in. They park in disabled spaces with their massive X5 for a week. Let their dog run around off lead terrorising other dogs and cats. Leave bags of poo by their car because they are too lazy to walk it to the bin. Use the communal garden as a golf driving range and called another neighbour a pig because she asked him to stop being rude in the group chat.

TapAcceptable3380@reddit

Some people really believe that TV detector vans are real?!!!

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shaggykx@reddit

Well, The vans certainly were real, and the technology did exist to some extent, but whether they were actually ever put together and used like the BBC claimed is another matter. Heard from a chap who was paid by the BBC to drive an inconspicuously marked, but empty van into a housing estate and nap in the back for a few hours to drive licence sales.

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blueskybel@reddit

That Amsterdam is closer to the sun

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Competitive_Art_4480@reddit

Depending on where you live in the UK it is closer.

London and the south is closer to the sun but northern England and Scotland are further away.

JJY93@reddit

Mine is the opposite. All his teachers say how good and respectful he is, his friend’s parents say he’s so polite.

Then he comes home and is a rude violent undisciplined little bugger.

Love ya, u/JJY93 Jr.

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Ginger_Grumpybunny@reddit

Two young brothers in my old neighbourhood were always causing trouble, throwing stones at people and houses, bullying other kids etc, and when I tried to talk to their mother about it she would give them a false alibi, claiming they'd been at home the whole time.

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Jolly_Constant_4913@reddit

Lol. Surveillance tech in it was around more than 20 years ago in schools

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CoopsDeVille@reddit

Our big sis thought the sun and the moon were the same object, sun goes down moon comes up 😀

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hmm, as a whole person I can't think of many examples.

but a good friend of mine, maths wizz, just didn't get why a perpetual motion machine with a fan pointed at a turbine wouldn't work. he had pretty good physics class grades too is the funny part. apparently energy lost from friction becoming heat and sound and motion not into the turbine wasn't enough to convince him.

other than that he was only a bit more naive than someone his age should be, not a loon or lacking all common sense by any means.

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Willing_Ad_375@reddit

A tramp

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Wonderful_Fun_2086@reddit

They could have been having you on. I knew a chap back in the day who was like this. He would pretend not to understand and it would be an attempt at humour. Only he got the joke. No one could possibly be that daft. It was some attempt to make you look stupid for not cottoning on to what was going on.

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cminorputitincminor@reddit

I once lived with someone (involuntarily) who was very rich but one of those people who doesn’t like anyone even suggesting that she was - although genuinely nobody cared and actually appreciated all the Prosecco and fancy chocolates her mum sent her for the house.

One time she went to Aldi and she spent the entire time staring around like it was a freaking zoo. We asked her what was up and she said “I just expected it to be more disgusting than this. Like, food all over the floor and shit everywhere.

She proceeded to throw away half the stuff she got at Aldi because she thought the fact that it was cheaper meant it was all rancid if you didn’t eat it basically the second you got it.

Should’ve taken her to Farmfoods…

She also dumped a really genuinely nice but middle-class guy for a guy who was rich and cheated on her regularly. I’m not saying she owed the first guy anything for simply being nice, of course she didn’t, but the choice baffled me.

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Scrambledpeggle@reddit

Worked with someone who slammed a copy of "the psychic times" on my desk and said "you see. Uri Geller killed Saddam. I told you".

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sock_cooker@reddit

Talking to a friend's mother in law at one of their family parties, she said "oh yes, Jenny was such a brave young girl! When she was being picked on at school, she decided she'd get some school prospectuses and declared: mother, father, I wish to go to Roedean!"

I was like "god that is brave, when I got picked on at school, I just got a different bus"

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Zealousideal-Tax-496@reddit

Well why the fuck do they call them wind farms if they don't make wind? Do potato farms make energy from potato? NO. 😠

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Accomplished_Ad4247@reddit

Tbf most people I've interacted with on Reddit probably fit that perfectly.

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Shoddy_Juice9144@reddit

My mother (born in 60s), who for 14 years after I got out of the army, kept telling me “I don’t know why you don’t just put your name down for a council house”.

I did! I’m still waiting 😅

VeronicaMarsIsGreat@reddit

I worked with a conspiracy theorist who believed the Earth was flat and the moon landings were faked. When I offered scientific evidence to the contrary, he just said all the pictures were faked and they made up all the stats. I don't know how people like that get themselves dressed in the morning never mind hold down a job.

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Otherwise-Extreme-68@reddit

I once met a bloke who was adamant he controlled the weather. It wasn't a conscious thing, as in he couldn't make it do what he wanted, but regardless of that, whatever the weather was that day, he was responsible for it

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smeeti@reddit

Your employee was not alone in that misconception

Watch this, it’s hilarious

https://youtu.be/DvhBM89A6o8?si=KcTkljLbHwbbLrJK

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SmokyBarnable01@reddit

A guy I know went to the police saying that his brother (who had died tragically in a fire) had actually really been murdered.

When the police enquired as to what evidence he had to support this claim, he replied 'a reliable psychic'.

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merlin8922g@reddit

I've always thought that, like this country isn't windy enough as it is without wasting precious electricity powering giant fans everywhere!

Seriously though, are you sure he wasn't winding you up? The old getting wind turbines wrong joke is a classic dad joke staple.

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tp182@reddit

Someone at work was surprised when I told them that Yorkshire tea was not grown in Yorkshire

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Jeez , that made me laugh

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McBird-255@reddit

When I was at university I had a bit of a fling with an (incredibly hot) overseas student who came from a very wealthy, privileged family. He’d grown up all over the world with maids and drivers and all sorts. At the end of term, I had spent all my grant money and didn’t have a bean. We were all heading off, I had my train ticket back to London (where I’m from) and was worrying about how I was going to get home from the station with no money (yes, I was terrible with money). He said “can’t you just call your mum and get her to pick you up from the station?” When I told him my mum didn’t have a car, he was visibly shocked. I also had to explain that my mum would not be able to afford the 40+ quid taxi fare from the station either. I stopped short of explaining that she lived in a council house and didn’t have a pot to piss in. I think that level of poverty would have blown his mind.

(I borrowed a fiver off a mate in the end.)

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maybenomaybe@reddit

Winner: A now- ex boyfriend who thought women only had two holes so they urinated through their vagina, and if you had a tampon in you'd have to take it out to pee.

First runner-up: a former flatmate and covid-denier who thought if a woman got the vaccine it would get into her overies and destroy them thus rendering her infertile. Worst thing was that she convinced our other flatmate not to get one.

Second runner-up: girl who lived beside me in uni asking how to use a can opener, because she'd never had to eat anything from a can before.

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Sithfish@reddit

I knew a Swede who thought Lapland was part of Finland, when obviously it is an independent sovereign nation.

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IAMACiderDrinker@reddit

Not my story but… a friend of mine works in a small shop. The fridge in the staff room stopped working and the boss was dragging his feet about replacing it. My friend asked the boss how much longer it was going to be until they got a new one, boss said ‘well I was thinking, do we really need a fridge’? Friend says well yes, the staff need somewhere to put their lunches, boss says well why don’t they just go to the shop and get meal deals instead of bringing lunch in? Like everyone is happy to drop minimum £17.50 a week on buying lunches rather than bringing something from home 🙄

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Happylittlecultist@reddit

Met/got in an argument with a woman who claimed to be part of the royal family. She spoke with a west African accent and was black.

Told me to fuck off back to my own country. I'm English going back centuries at least. There was that one Irish great grand parent but still. However raised in London speak the local lingo etc. She insisted I was Polish

All started because they thought someone who was sending a text was taking photos of them.

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highrouleur@reddit

Well how else does the planet spin?

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General_Ignoranse@reddit

I had a housemate in 2nd year of uni who was from a very rich Filipino family. It was her second time retaking the second year, at her second university. She handed in the SAME essays she’d done the year before, no edits, and was shocked when she both got done for plagiarising her own work, and again, didn’t even scrape a third. Baffled me how she was shocked?

She also never cleaned her kitchen stuff, and one day when I asked her to wash up my blender and saucepans, she laughed and said she forgets as she’s so used to her own personal butler doing it at home.

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lavenderacid@reddit

I have a former friend who was gifted a £350k house outright by his parents, and regularly complained whenever they bought new things for themselves that they were "wasting" his inheritance. He also cried because his brothers were given houses before he was.

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ZePanic@reddit

This is an old Viz joke. They’ve done it several times.

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Me, this morning, thinking "Hey, if I get a proper job, maybe I'll be able to afford a house!".

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Joseph_Suaalii@reddit

I was discussing about how a man who doesn’t even know how to do the laundry, wash the dishes, and can’t even do basic skills like how to fry an egg is a manchild not worth dating. And she responded with “well I wouldn’t mind dating such a man if his parents is rich”, and I responded how in the UK regardless of wealth every man is expected to do such basic chores and her response is “well this is Singapore”.

This was a huge culture shock to me, knowing well that such attitudes would be seen as foreign in British culture.

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PinkNeom@reddit

Was at a party helping out beforehand and were making trays by putting a mix of everything in each one. Stacy was doing it with me.

Later I combined the leftovers from the mostly empty trays into one. Stacy and her sister went crazy and acted like I tried to kill the sister because she has an allergy and I’ve contaminated the food now. I was completely bewildered and tried to say to Stacy you mixed all the food with me just beforehand herself? Plus Stacy or her sister had not told anyone to be aware of her allergies and do anything different.

I tried to apologise anyway even though I had no idea. But they wouldn’t listen to me and purposefully turned their back on me and huddled into a corner acting over the top emotional as if she had just nearly died (even though she never picked up the food) and I was an attempted murderer.

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Dave_smith_uk@reddit

GBeebies "news" channel.

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yourefunny@reddit

You will like this: https://youtu.be/DvhBM89A6o8?si=DqMEWUE5iuwNvsh-

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MisterrTickle@reddit

I once had a boss who had just discovered "that rain falls from clouds, not miles up but from clouds”.

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Accurate-Flatworm361@reddit

Only recently realised that a very good friend of mine who went to a top university in the UK on a scholarship (well done, not taking that away from them) thought that the rest of us had our parents pay. Some obviously do but a lot of us ended up in massive debt. They simply didn't believe me at first saying they'd looked into student loans and you couldn't possibly live off the amount they were offering. Guess what, we didn't go to fancy bars and live in city centre flats in nice areas, very much scraped by.

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