The joys of getting older

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freerangelibrarian@reddit

I've left my body to a medical school. No charge for the cremation when they're done with it.

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But it will cost your loved ones a couple thousand to transport your body from hospital or hospice to the cremation site. Another several thousand for any formal memorial service. And few thousand for a cremains niche or cremains entombment.

If they want to scatter your remains on a beach or at the shoreline, they can’t tell anyone or they could be fined for doing it without paying a licensed memorial director to do it for them from a boat they have to charter so it can be done far away from shore to be legal. Scattering your ashes in a public park can be illegal in some states if they’re caught. Most states will force you to obtain special permission from the park authorities. Scattering them or burying the ashes on your own property is legal in some states, but do you really want to be reminded of the ashes of your loved ones every time you go outside to enjoy your backyard?

It’s going to cost you more than 99 dollars.

People can’t even afford to pass away anymore.

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brettdavis4@reddit

I just buried my dad a few days ago. I had the service and burial at one place. The people there weren't super pushy or pressuring us to spend a lot of money. We went with the cheapest option or 2nd cheapest option and had a beautiful service. Unfortunately, it was still a lot of money.

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Superb_Ant_3741@reddit

Condolences on your loss. I’m really glad to hear they didn’t take advantage of you. But it was, as you say, still costly. And that’s just so unfair, especially in a time of grieving.

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lemming_follower@reddit

I've always found it ironic that the first and last act of our lives (at least here in the US) is a rather significant monetary transaction that is likely to put others in financial debt.

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Superb_Ant_3741@reddit

You’d think a civilized country would have figured out how to create a mutual fund to cover the cost of the two involuntary experiences we all have (the first and last day of our lives) so that it’s free. Or at the very least to make it less traumatizing and more affordable, like so many other countries do. But instead, our loved ones are punished financially.

Maybe America is not so civilized after all.

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Sundae_2004@reddit

I seem to remember a number of stories where people were supposed to be cremated but the companies didn’t; e.g., https://www.cbsnews.com/news/colorado-funeral-home-bodies-fake-ashes/

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DrunkenMcSlurpee@reddit

I'm just going to keep a matchbook and dustpan on me with instructions to cremate in place.

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weird-oh@reddit

It's a 55-gallon drum and a pile of tinder. Not fallin' for that again.

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immersemeinnature@reddit

I signed up to be sent to a body farm. I mean, what better way to be immersed in nature

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FunFirefighter1110@reddit

I just want to walk into the forest and disappear no need for a funeral or any other pointless remembrance

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whatcouchsaid@reddit

What if I don’t want to be cremated today? How much is it if I do it like a week or so?

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45thgeneration_roman@reddit

Sorry dude. It's got to be today.

Whaddyamean, you're still alive? That's not a problem. We don't discriminate in any way. Any race, any gender, any sexual orientation, any living status.

So come along quietly. It's time to go.

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whatcouchsaid@reddit

I’ve had a good run. So be it

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rimshot101@reddit

Why do you think it's so cheap?

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TMBActualSize@reddit

Secure is the key word. The actual cost is maybe 5k. You are basically giving them 99 today and signing a contract to pay later.

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Mindless-Employment@reddit

Right. I don't need it today. Will they do price matching in 2054?

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888Duck@reddit

Yeah dont pay for it now. By 2054, we all be cremated by solar powered furnace at half the price

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Superb_Ant_3741@reddit

The chuck I chuckled

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Automatic_Fun_8958@reddit

Damn, i am suddenly depressed. But that is a good price!

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SomeCrazedBiker@reddit

My city charges a pollution fee for cremation. I had to pay it for my Dad. They want your fuckin money even when you're dead. It's disgusting, really.

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Reasonable_Smell_854@reddit

https://i.redd.it/8dmmrnr07h1e1.gif

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Fartina69@reddit

Wow. My wife was gonna charge $250 to cremate me. I'll give them a call.

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oddball_ocelot@reddit

Nope. I'm going to die from nuclear war, acid rain, or quicksand. Either way, there won't be enough of me let to be cremated. Nice try, scammers!

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Beauphedes_Knutz@reddit

My retirement plan is a Pinto and a cliff. Solves all the problems.

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DinkinZoppity@reddit

When I'm dead, just throw me in the trash

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Beauphedes_Knutz@reddit

At least drive my ass to the woods so the coyotes and scavenger birds have a 'fair to middling' meal.

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Beauphedes_Knutz@reddit

Fuck AARP for coming after us so hard since way before I was thinking about turning Fiddy.

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AliveFerret5197@reddit

$99… that’s a good deal! Sign me up.

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LeoMarius@reddit

You have money burning a hole in your pocket?

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tangcameo@reddit

Pfft! A little gasoline, a lotta scrap wood - I can do this way cheaper

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andy_nony_mouse@reddit

Why wait? Get the cremation over with then enjoy the rest of your life.

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Any_Pudding_1812@reddit

bargain. i’ll take two

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Aurora_Gory_Alice@reddit

Does the body have to be declared dead first?

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TheCoopX@reddit

$99? Shit, all you need is metal garbage can, some lighter fluid and match. That's what... $25? Less if you steal a neighbor's metal garbage can.

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hdhdhdhdzjursx@reddit

Why is it more expensive if you’re under 50 or over 75?

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AZbitchmaster@reddit

Its our most modestly priced receptacle.

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Ill-Wear5502@reddit

More expensive than falling asleep with a lit cigarette in your mouth 😉

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reeferthetuxedocat@reddit

I mean that actually sounds like a good deal? I haven’t priced them out tho

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jcsnipes1969@reddit

It’s around $2000 for cremation where I live.

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Wise_Serve_5846@reddit

Not my problem 😄😭

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Scrumpilump2000@reddit

I’m going to get my nephews to torch my corpse on a pyre. Fuck all that shit. Waste of money.

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CompetitivePirate251@reddit

Damn … and here I went and spent a 1000 bones on a new BBQ …. Salesperson said it would totally work for cremations.

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memememe81@reddit

Just drop me in the Traeger with some jalapeño poppers

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CompetitivePirate251@reddit

That was my other end of life purchase …. Who doesn’t want brisket and ribs at a wake?

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memememe81@reddit

Right? Carry on!

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I_Am_Telekinetic@reddit

That’s a really nice grill you got there

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Man-e-questions@reddit

Why would i pay $99 when i can just buy a turkey friar for like $50?

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Potato2266@reddit

Wait…what?

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WBW1974@reddit

I'm waiting for someone to license this for the cremation commercial.

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leftcoast98@reddit

What would the background song be tho?

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Front-Hovercraft-721@reddit

$99 cremation ain’t happening

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dead-as-a-doornail-@reddit

$99 cremation sounds like you’re to wind up rotting in someone’s yard and your loved ones have an urn full of kitty litter to scatter.

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Superb_Ant_3741@reddit

99 dollar cremation. What a deal.

But it will cost your loved ones a couple thousand to transport your body from hospital or hospice to the cremation site. Another several thousand for any formal memorial service. And few thousand several thousand for a cremains niche or cremains entombment. If you want to scatter their remains at sea, don’t tell anyone or you could be fined for doing it without paying a licensed memorial director to do it for you from a boat you have to charter so it can be done far away from shore to be legal. Scattering their ashes in a public park can be illegal in some states if you’re caught. Scattering them or burying the ashes on your own property is legal in some states, but do you want to be reminded of the ashes of your loved ones every time you go outside to enjoy your backyard?

It’s going to cost you more than 99 dollars. People can’t even afford to pass away anymore.