Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Here's why:
Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead.
Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it.
Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.
And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.
Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.
I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:
"Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1."
And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it.
Ehhh. I know this is a copypasta, but NVGs wouldn't work, since magic fucks with electricity.
Tbf, the Sectum Sempra spell is basically a gun shot spell. There's a scene where Harry shoots Malfoy with it and the wound looks very much like a gun shot. On one hand, aiming it would be difficult and the travel speed might be slower, but at least you'd have infinite ammo and I'm pretty sure that spell isn't forbidden.
And as he is extolling the virtues of wizards over muggles, lucius Malfoy's eyes close with the splatter of a liquid in his face. When he opens his eyes he notices that lord Voldemort has half his head... Missing and the liquid was his blood and brain matter. Some powerful wizardry at play. Lord Voldemort died mid sentence and they never heard the spell or incantation being cast.
800 yards away the sniper from a black ops team radios X-Ray down. The rest of the team springs into action gunning down the dark wizards before they have time to react.
Lucius has no time to grab his cane or mutter a word as a clear plastic bag is ziptied around his face and he is knocked unconscious. When he comes to he is muffled trapped inside a tower of rubbery wheels. Car tires the muggles call it. He can't speak and he can't move an inch. He can cast spells without speaking and he remembers one simple spell that he used to terrorise his muggle neighbours with. It manifests the greatest nightmares in his victims mind. It is harmless but it should scare these muggles away. Giving him time to gather his wits and attempt to cast more complex magic and escape. He sees what nightmares haunt his victims too as a bit of backlash...
When he casts the spell on the leader of the group he is transported to Fallujah. He sees the rocket coming to this all terrain jeep and the explosion propels the leader of the group out... Unharmed. He sees the rest of the group of men (a squad the leader's mind tells him) burning to death. One of them trying to reach for the leader... His flesh burning and falling from the bone as he releases a silent scream as his lungs are scorched and he cannot draw breath anymore...
The leader of the group just stares at the scene in perfect apathy. The horror, too gruesome and too raw for his mind to comprehend.
And back in reality Lucius sees the man looking at him with a vacant amused expression... Lucius realizes that he cannot manifest his biggest nightmare because that is all this man sees when he closes his eyes... Lucius has exerted a lot of cruelty in his life but this man is a true monster his humanity lost between Fallujah and Baghdad .The man tells lucius Malfoy that the others were killed on the spot because they had to be but that he, he is the message.
They douse him in petrol and set the tires on fire as lucius' screams fill the night air. They kick the burning pyre down the hill into the dead eater's secret lair that was tracked and discovered using drones, satellite imagery and modern surveillance. The piercing cries of Lucius drew the remaining death eaters out and they can only look in horror as the charred corpse of one of their own just burns itself out. Message understood.
Which is nuts considering how weak the wizards in HP are. Like 99% of other magical fiction would end HP in seconds, but in HP, they’d be torn to shreds by any muggle army. They’re all useless without their wands.
not even, they would be tore apart by the sheer range a normal soldier can engage them at...they can only really fight in relatively close quarters even when they use ranged spells as they can't really have any real accuracy long range, not to mention how slow most spells take to travel and even cast.
I’d take the best of both worlds and enchant the fuck out of a fully automatic Saiga-12 to have perfect stats and some spell penetration or something so people can’t use magic shields.
And some enchanted drones that can act autonomously like the knight statues in hogwarts would be cool.
Harry Potters face when Neville missed the critical moment to shoot Voldemort because he misplaced the fucking magazine, thus ruining an entire school years' worth of careful planning and directly resulting in the deaths of Harry, Hermoine, Ron and Chong
So there we were, surrounded by Death Eaters, when Hermione suddenly pulls out a massive German MG42 machine gun. We all stared, completely baffled. "Where the hell did you get that?" Ron asked. She just shrugged and said, “It’s from my grandfather’s inheritance. He was a... uh... secret officer or something.” Apparently, he was some old war hero—though Hermione didn't even know what a machine gun was. None of us did. In fact, we thought it was some kind of magical artifact at first. Turns out, it was just... deadly.
Then Hermione reads the instructions. "Apparently, it only works if you shout Nazi slogans at it," she says, sounding confused but determined. At first, we thought she was joking, but the Death Eaters were getting closer, and we had no choice.
Ron grabs the MG42 and screams, “Sieg Heil!” and suddenly BAM, the thing just starts tearing through Death Eaters. Bullets flying everywhere, blood spraying—gore like I’ve never seen. It’s a massacre. Death Eaters are dropping like flies, but we don’t stop.
Harry goes next, shouting something like “Ein Volk, Ein Reich!” and the carnage just escalates—the gun’s roaring, blood splattering, bodies falling. We didn’t even know what we were saying. We were just shouting and firing, and it was all so surreal. No one could process it—just blood, screams, and the endless sound of bullets.
By the time we reached Voldemort, we didn’t even need spells. We just mowed him down like he was nothing, shouting “Heil! Hitler” over the gunfire. The whole thing was so messed up, I can’t even believe it happened. But hey, Voldemort’s gone, and I guess that’s what counts. Never trusting a dead man’s inheritance again, though.
And as he is extolling the virtues of wizards over muggles, lucius Malfoy's eyes close with the splatter of a liquid in his face. When he opens his eyes he notices that lord Voldemort has half his head... Missing and the liquid was his blood and brain matter. Some powerful wizardry at play. Lord Voldemort died mid sentence and they never heard the spell or incantation being cast.
800 yards away the sniper from a black ops team radios X-Ray down. The rest of the team springs into action gunning down the dark wizards before they have time to react.
Lucius has no time to grab his cane or mutter a word as a clear plastic bag is ziptied around his face and he is knocked unconscious. When he comes to he is muffled trapped inside a tower of rubbery wheels. Car tires the muggles call it. He can't speak and he can't move an inch. He can cast spells without speaking and he remembers one simple spell that he used to terrorise his muggle neighbours with. It manifests the greatest nightmares in his victims mind. It is harmless but it should scare these muggles away. Giving him time to gather his wits and attempt to cast more complex magic and escape. He sees what nightmares haunt his victims too as a bit of backlash...
When he casts the spell on the leader of the group he is transported to Fallujah. He sees the rocket coming to this all terrain jeep and the explosion propels the leader of the group out... Unharmed. He sees the rest of the group of men (a squad the leader's mind tells him) burning to death. One of them trying to reach for the leader... His flesh burning and falling from the bone as he releases a silent scream as his lungs are scorched and he cannot draw breath anymore...
The leader of the group just stares at the scene in perfect apathy. The horror, too gruesome and too raw for his mind to comprehend.
And back in reality Lucius sees the man looking at him with a vacant amused expression... Lucius realizes that he cannot manifest his biggest nightmare because that is all this man sees when he closes his eyes... Lucius has exerted a lot of cruelty in his life but this man is a true monster his humanity lost between Fallujah and Baghdad .The man tells lucius Malfoy that the others were killed on the spot because they had to be but that he, he is the message.
They douse him in petrol and set the tires on fire as lucius' screams fill the night air. They kick the burning pyre down the hill into the dead eater's secret lair that was tracked and discovered using drones, satellite imagery and modern surveillance. The piercing cries of Lucius drew the remaining death eaters out and they can only look in horror as the charred corpse of one of their own just burns itself out. Message understood.
There needs to be a movie where people are trying all sorts of crazy shit to kill the monster and nothing works but at the end some random fat guy just shoots it and kills it in a very anticlimactic sequence.
I think there was an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where some ancient evil supposedly couldn't be killed by any weapon, but when they made that prophecy, weapons were kinda shit, so it turns out a grenade launcher does the trick.
I don't actually know. I've never seen it, I just read a description of it the last time I saw a similar discussion online. I guess I can look it up actually.
https://youtu.be/nDXqXLF7ls4?si=eJK_b7_cCG3DUJhR
I dunno about climactic, but it's a little funny at least.
Last session of Changeling the Dreaming I tried that
Mag dumped a 38 special into this horrible monster and it slumped over, and then my charachter started preening and standing triumphantly with one foot on its head like a hunter with their back to kt and be like "get a picture, get a picture" to the rest of the party, and when the rest of the group started yelling for the charachter to turn around, it took its foot off the things head and went on a tirade about how they wanted the moment immortalized and the other charachters were ruining their thunder
It was not in fact dead
But what did deal with it? My charachter is a drug dealer.and opiates are bad for entities of the otherworld because they run on imagination and opiates turn that down.
He hurled a dime bag of heroin into its gaping mouth.
In terrifier 1 if I recall correctly there was this main villain clown, nearly invincible, knowing where you are at all times, even teleporting I think?, and when there was a slight ray of hope he, the main villain and force of evil here, he just took out a fucking gun out and shot everybody. That took me by surprise
It's implicit that any complicated technology tends not to work properly in wizard places, so a gun might simply not work around Voldemort (it's very handwavy about what counts as complicated, considering film cameras still work at Hogwarts). The one time we do see a gun brought into the equation, Hagrid bends it into a balloon animal.
If it's electronics, then sure, you could say magic acts as some sort of EMP
But mechanical weapons ? Why would they not ? There is a fair amount of mechanical gadgets in the wizarding world
Don't ask me to explain the logic when the answer is literally, "a wizard did it". Also, the gadgets we tend to see have been magicked beyond normal functionality, ie a flying car.
Just send in a dozen more waves of the meat battalion.
Wizzies can hang out plorking each other in the forest singing their songs about fairies and sparkles. The meat battalion is already on top of them guns blazing.
ok, first one is potentially threatening because it would be harder tot know what they cast.
The teleport can be very useful but they need to be fast enough...and as the movies shown us, they aren't perfect either, so if you manage to get a bullet right before they vanish, they aren't gonna be doing too well.
The magical barriers have never been exposed to the insane forces of a bullet, for all we know, they may as well be paper. even if they can resist ? how long before they give in ?
with the average pistol duel being 11-14m apart (take 12.5m) and the .50 cal being as fast as 1000m/s then it would only take the bullet ~0.0125s to hit the opponent.
with the average human reaction time of 250ms, the answer is no
Considering that Hagrid is a half-giant, he might as well be using an M2. Juice him up with luck potion, set him an IV with healing potion and you're good to go. The guy will be unstoppable.
Pretty sure I've read a fanfic where Vernon realizes wizards are trying to kill Harry and just sorta hands him a gun, saying "take out as many freaks as you can before going down"
Using D&D terms, Protego always seems to be cast as a reaction. Someone shoots something at you, you Shield charm to block it. Fair enough, spells are bright colorful balls that can be tracked with the naked eye, makes sense you could do it, if not outright dodge out of the way.
Bullets are tiny, and traveling at much faster, supersonic velocities. If somehow cast in time, Protego could potentially protect a wizard against a kinetic impact from a rifle round, but there is no way that a wizard could have the reaction time to recognize that a bullet was being fired at them and be able to block it.
Voldemort had absolutely no chance against a well armed muggle population, and thus he never went to the US, even at the height of his power.
I’d like a shooting game that ran on fantasy logic. Usually it’s the old ancient stuff in forgotten tombs that’s most powerful in fantasy. And why lots of fantasy settings take place in the ruins of once great civilizations. So if you had a modern shooter with tactical assault rifles and shit, there’d be some arcane musket in a crypt that would obliterate somebody and everybody around them but then take forever to reload and be roughly comparable to a rocket launcher in effectiveness. Either that or everybody would just have flintlocks but you’d mow them down with an AK47 after delving into some ancient ruins.
trainedfor100years@reddit
Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Here's why:
Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead.
Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it.
Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.
And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.
Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.
I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:
"Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1."
And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Endulos@reddit
Ehhh. I know this is a copypasta, but NVGs wouldn't work, since magic fucks with electricity.
Old_Ad_71@reddit
But didn't that one kid look at the basilisk through a camera lens and it still fucked him up? I don't think optics are going to help.
Tusami@reddit
could also just take the scorched earth approach with an AA12
Yourfavoriteindian@reddit
Camera optics aren’t the same as NVG optics.
memeboarder@reddit
but then you look at it near directly, the view finder of analogue cameras isn't through a digital image.
WayneZer0@reddit
that might be true for a certian wizard from chiago. but harry potter never adress that.
bringthe707out_@reddit
sometimes i thank god for making me literate
Fantastic_Teach7115@reddit
Don't thank god, you did that all by yourself, congrats
hydroxy@reddit
Yes it was you all along, I made up the whole almighty deity thing to give you confidence
Neil_Ribsy@reddit
Really? I had the opposite reaction from reading that tryhard essay.
Reading_username@reddit
It's a copypasta, numbnuts
Neil_Ribsy@reddit
That's a relief to know.
bob1111bob@reddit
Someone had to originally write this tho
iwillnotcompromise@reddit
The Boy was 11 in the first movie and you want to give him a shotgun?
Malvastor@reddit
Is that really any worse than all the murder magic?
Renkij@reddit
A fully automatic magazine fed shotgun with explosive slugs(it’s a 22lr blank backwards on the tip of the slug)
trainedfor100years@reddit
It's the American way.
Kronomancer1192@reddit
"Gun control means that voldemort wins" should be on some posters, with Dumbledore posed as uncle Sam.
Soleil06@reddit
I love this pasta, “ God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.” is just my favorite line ever.
Celestine_S@reddit
This needs to be a copypasta 😂
trainedfor100years@reddit
That's the neat thing, it is.
PIPXIll@reddit
Ben Yahtzee, is that you? XD
A_Blue_Potion@reddit
Tbf, the Sectum Sempra spell is basically a gun shot spell. There's a scene where Harry shoots Malfoy with it and the wound looks very much like a gun shot. On one hand, aiming it would be difficult and the travel speed might be slower, but at least you'd have infinite ammo and I'm pretty sure that spell isn't forbidden.
FantasmaBizarra@reddit
If harry potter took place in the US Voldemort would have just gunned down harry and the story would have a much more grim ending.
MrLambNugget@reddit
Voldemort would never use a gun. He absolutely despises any muggle technology and sees it as inferior
Comm3natore@reddit
And thats how he would die
Mr_Pink_Gold@reddit
And as he is extolling the virtues of wizards over muggles, lucius Malfoy's eyes close with the splatter of a liquid in his face. When he opens his eyes he notices that lord Voldemort has half his head... Missing and the liquid was his blood and brain matter. Some powerful wizardry at play. Lord Voldemort died mid sentence and they never heard the spell or incantation being cast.
800 yards away the sniper from a black ops team radios X-Ray down. The rest of the team springs into action gunning down the dark wizards before they have time to react.
Lucius has no time to grab his cane or mutter a word as a clear plastic bag is ziptied around his face and he is knocked unconscious. When he comes to he is muffled trapped inside a tower of rubbery wheels. Car tires the muggles call it. He can't speak and he can't move an inch. He can cast spells without speaking and he remembers one simple spell that he used to terrorise his muggle neighbours with. It manifests the greatest nightmares in his victims mind. It is harmless but it should scare these muggles away. Giving him time to gather his wits and attempt to cast more complex magic and escape. He sees what nightmares haunt his victims too as a bit of backlash...
When he casts the spell on the leader of the group he is transported to Fallujah. He sees the rocket coming to this all terrain jeep and the explosion propels the leader of the group out... Unharmed. He sees the rest of the group of men (a squad the leader's mind tells him) burning to death. One of them trying to reach for the leader... His flesh burning and falling from the bone as he releases a silent scream as his lungs are scorched and he cannot draw breath anymore...
The leader of the group just stares at the scene in perfect apathy. The horror, too gruesome and too raw for his mind to comprehend.
And back in reality Lucius sees the man looking at him with a vacant amused expression... Lucius realizes that he cannot manifest his biggest nightmare because that is all this man sees when he closes his eyes... Lucius has exerted a lot of cruelty in his life but this man is a true monster his humanity lost between Fallujah and Baghdad .The man tells lucius Malfoy that the others were killed on the spot because they had to be but that he, he is the message.
They douse him in petrol and set the tires on fire as lucius' screams fill the night air. They kick the burning pyre down the hill into the dead eater's secret lair that was tracked and discovered using drones, satellite imagery and modern surveillance. The piercing cries of Lucius drew the remaining death eaters out and they can only look in horror as the charred corpse of one of their own just burns itself out. Message understood.
KossuJossu@reddit
Peak fiction
paco-ramon@reddit
I’m 100% sure an Uzi has better fire rate than him saying Avara Kedabra.
MrLambNugget@reddit
Even a handgun, but the issue is the lethality. It's absolutely possible to survive a gunshot, but you can hardly survive Avada Kedavra
Growingpothead20@reddit
Harry on the other hand, is British
melodiousmurderer@reddit
So he’d kill him with wartime recipe food?
MMMTZ@reddit
Should've stabbed him then...
Ecco_Edd@reddit
He doesn't have a loisence for a bloody knoife
ThePassiveGamer@reddit
*loicense
Yourah right crisp sniffa AIN’TCHA!
Belial901@reddit
Noice
throwaway6444377_@reddit
literally had a sword and didn't stab him smh
Oponik@reddit
"Get shanked, bald head"
formation@reddit
So he'll wet him
Juggernuts777@reddit
Which is nuts considering how weak the wizards in HP are. Like 99% of other magical fiction would end HP in seconds, but in HP, they’d be torn to shreds by any muggle army. They’re all useless without their wands.
AmadeusNagamine@reddit
not even, they would be tore apart by the sheer range a normal soldier can engage them at...they can only really fight in relatively close quarters even when they use ranged spells as they can't really have any real accuracy long range, not to mention how slow most spells take to travel and even cast.
lucasthebr2121@reddit
I always said if i was sent to the hp universe with a pistol and unlimited ammo i could solo the entire verse
AmadeusNagamine@reddit
I mean by sheer virtue of their arrogance, they would probably not truly recognize the danger of a handgun and not really be on guard against it.
AmadeusNagamine@reddit
May I present you the Goalkeeper, a rotary cannon chambered in 30mm with a rate of fire of about 4200RPM
Try and cast your puny magic when you get pelted by that...dare say muggle technology is inferior
PhantomTissue@reddit
How much more ironic it would be he he were to die to a gunshot
jobitus@reddit
Joke's on him, he largely died to a sword, a muggle invention for sure.
That stupid phoenix (or hat?) better bring those in trouble Griffindor Jr's SA80 or some shit.
MasterMedic1@reddit
Voldemort can tell that to nuclear fission.
deathbylasersss@reddit
It is obvious he does not know the true glory of the Raytheon knife-missile.
soobnar@reddit
I’d take the best of both worlds and enchant the fuck out of a fully automatic Saiga-12 to have perfect stats and some spell penetration or something so people can’t use magic shields.
And some enchanted drones that can act autonomously like the knight statues in hogwarts would be cool.
GulliblePea3691@reddit
True but all the good wizards definitely would’ve
CyanCyborg-@reddit
Shoulda just dronestruck him from the sky.
Vegetable-Increase-4@reddit
I would love a wizard story thats realistic where people use guns. At this point imma have to write it myself.
2ndRandom8675309@reddit
Check out Wearing Power Armor to a Magic School on r/HFY subreddit.
WoolooOfWallStreet@reddit
He’d have access to mother’s Love piercing wands, spells, and guns
Flimsy-Jello5534@reddit
Neville in the clock tower with a 50 calibre anti material rifle.
AHighAchievingAutist@reddit
Harry Potters face when Neville missed the critical moment to shoot Voldemort because he misplaced the fucking magazine, thus ruining an entire school years' worth of careful planning and directly resulting in the deaths of Harry, Hermoine, Ron and Chong
Spanker_of_Monkeys@reddit
Pffft grim if you're an inferior muggle or mudblood. The purebreds would be much better off
BathTubBand@reddit
Harry is like Marshall Mathers.
Has to defeat the Dark Lord Diddy in the fucking Tower of Deception in New Yowk.
2ndRandom8675309@reddit
https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/s/G6jsz0U93Y
Ok-Examination4225@reddit
I cast, Avtamata Kalashnikova!
Ur_Glog@reddit
So there we were, surrounded by Death Eaters, when Hermione suddenly pulls out a massive German MG42 machine gun. We all stared, completely baffled. "Where the hell did you get that?" Ron asked. She just shrugged and said, “It’s from my grandfather’s inheritance. He was a... uh... secret officer or something.” Apparently, he was some old war hero—though Hermione didn't even know what a machine gun was. None of us did. In fact, we thought it was some kind of magical artifact at first. Turns out, it was just... deadly.
Then Hermione reads the instructions. "Apparently, it only works if you shout Nazi slogans at it," she says, sounding confused but determined. At first, we thought she was joking, but the Death Eaters were getting closer, and we had no choice.
Ron grabs the MG42 and screams, “Sieg Heil!” and suddenly BAM, the thing just starts tearing through Death Eaters. Bullets flying everywhere, blood spraying—gore like I’ve never seen. It’s a massacre. Death Eaters are dropping like flies, but we don’t stop.
Harry goes next, shouting something like “Ein Volk, Ein Reich!” and the carnage just escalates—the gun’s roaring, blood splattering, bodies falling. We didn’t even know what we were saying. We were just shouting and firing, and it was all so surreal. No one could process it—just blood, screams, and the endless sound of bullets.
By the time we reached Voldemort, we didn’t even need spells. We just mowed him down like he was nothing, shouting “Heil! Hitler” over the gunfire. The whole thing was so messed up, I can’t even believe it happened. But hey, Voldemort’s gone, and I guess that’s what counts. Never trusting a dead man’s inheritance again, though.
moragdong@reddit
This is new? I guess it was fine but i need more, this is just too short man.
disser15@reddit
muggle technology doesn't work in wizard world. Even cars had to be magic
Asscrackistan@reddit
God made wizards, and God made muggles. Samual Colt made them equals.
Mr_Pink_Gold@reddit
And as he is extolling the virtues of wizards over muggles, lucius Malfoy's eyes close with the splatter of a liquid in his face. When he opens his eyes he notices that lord Voldemort has half his head... Missing and the liquid was his blood and brain matter. Some powerful wizardry at play. Lord Voldemort died mid sentence and they never heard the spell or incantation being cast.
800 yards away the sniper from a black ops team radios X-Ray down. The rest of the team springs into action gunning down the dark wizards before they have time to react.
Lucius has no time to grab his cane or mutter a word as a clear plastic bag is ziptied around his face and he is knocked unconscious. When he comes to he is muffled trapped inside a tower of rubbery wheels. Car tires the muggles call it. He can't speak and he can't move an inch. He can cast spells without speaking and he remembers one simple spell that he used to terrorise his muggle neighbours with. It manifests the greatest nightmares in his victims mind. It is harmless but it should scare these muggles away. Giving him time to gather his wits and attempt to cast more complex magic and escape. He sees what nightmares haunt his victims too as a bit of backlash...
When he casts the spell on the leader of the group he is transported to Fallujah. He sees the rocket coming to this all terrain jeep and the explosion propels the leader of the group out... Unharmed. He sees the rest of the group of men (a squad the leader's mind tells him) burning to death. One of them trying to reach for the leader... His flesh burning and falling from the bone as he releases a silent scream as his lungs are scorched and he cannot draw breath anymore...
The leader of the group just stares at the scene in perfect apathy. The horror, too gruesome and too raw for his mind to comprehend.
And back in reality Lucius sees the man looking at him with a vacant amused expression... Lucius realizes that he cannot manifest his biggest nightmare because that is all this man sees when he closes his eyes... Lucius has exerted a lot of cruelty in his life but this man is a true monster his humanity lost between Fallujah and Baghdad .The man tells lucius Malfoy that the others were killed on the spot because they had to be but that he, he is the message.
They douse him in petrol and set the tires on fire as lucius' screams fill the night air. They kick the burning pyre down the hill into the dead eater's secret lair that was tracked and discovered using drones, satellite imagery and modern surveillance. The piercing cries of Lucius drew the remaining death eaters out and they can only look in horror as the charred corpse of one of their own just burns itself out. Message understood.
cujoe88@reddit
There needs to be a movie where people are trying all sorts of crazy shit to kill the monster and nothing works but at the end some random fat guy just shoots it and kills it in a very anticlimactic sequence.
Tommy2255@reddit
I think there was an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where some ancient evil supposedly couldn't be killed by any weapon, but when they made that prophecy, weapons were kinda shit, so it turns out a grenade launcher does the trick.
Tennents_N_Grouse@reddit
Was actually an AT-4 Anti Tank Missile Launcher
The Judge: "How's that work?"
Cue almighty BOOOM and bits of said now thoroughly dead demon flying all over the place
cujoe88@reddit
Is it totally anticlimactic?
Tommy2255@reddit
I don't actually know. I've never seen it, I just read a description of it the last time I saw a similar discussion online. I guess I can look it up actually.
https://youtu.be/nDXqXLF7ls4?si=eJK_b7_cCG3DUJhR
I dunno about climactic, but it's a little funny at least.
Commercial-Living443@reddit
Kill Bill
bob55909@reddit
Budd shot her with salt and would've won if he just didn't bury her alive like a dork
LurksInThePines@reddit
Last session of Changeling the Dreaming I tried that
Mag dumped a 38 special into this horrible monster and it slumped over, and then my charachter started preening and standing triumphantly with one foot on its head like a hunter with their back to kt and be like "get a picture, get a picture" to the rest of the party, and when the rest of the group started yelling for the charachter to turn around, it took its foot off the things head and went on a tirade about how they wanted the moment immortalized and the other charachters were ruining their thunder
It was not in fact dead
But what did deal with it? My charachter is a drug dealer.and opiates are bad for entities of the otherworld because they run on imagination and opiates turn that down.
He hurled a dime bag of heroin into its gaping mouth.
pepitobuenafe@reddit
Or an ambulance just roll over his head by mere coincidence...
MeYesYesMe@reddit
Could be foreshadowed by his utter love for hands. It's not actually foreshadowing shit, just funny lol trust me
CatSpydar@reddit
ok Kira
Escanorr_@reddit
In terrifier 1 if I recall correctly there was this main villain clown, nearly invincible, knowing where you are at all times, even teleporting I think?, and when there was a slight ray of hope he, the main villain and force of evil here, he just took out a fucking gun out and shot everybody. That took me by surprise
maninahat@reddit
Bin done: https://youtu.be/4cZqRzHnI8s?si=bA3xODtr4TeJ7ng9
Worldly_Dog3083@reddit
Episode 1 of Smiling Friends
Mayo_Kupo@reddit
Reminds me of this very old cartoon called Potter Puppet Pals.
https://youtu.be/TaJJWN4wenw?si=jkKwSxOvy1PWO-8b
Yothisisastory@reddit
harry dresden has entered the chat
Kelimnac@reddit
Only the classic ones though, like a good revolver design
If it gets too fancy, he can’t shoot it more than once or twice
maninahat@reddit
It's implicit that any complicated technology tends not to work properly in wizard places, so a gun might simply not work around Voldemort (it's very handwavy about what counts as complicated, considering film cameras still work at Hogwarts). The one time we do see a gun brought into the equation, Hagrid bends it into a balloon animal.
AmadeusNagamine@reddit
If it's electronics, then sure, you could say magic acts as some sort of EMP
But mechanical weapons ? Why would they not ? There is a fair amount of mechanical gadgets in the wizarding world
maninahat@reddit
Don't ask me to explain the logic when the answer is literally, "a wizard did it". Also, the gadgets we tend to see have been magicked beyond normal functionality, ie a flying car.
AmadeusNagamine@reddit
but their mechanical aspects still work as intended, said car can still drive normally if the user so wishes it
CT0292@reddit
I love how wizards think they're superior than regular people in every way.
Yet they don't know a fucking thing about the human world and would get properly fucked in a fight.
WholeIssue5880@reddit
Wizards can traverse through building be invisible they can even charm their opponents and brainwash them obviously wizards would win.
CT0292@reddit
Drone strike from 10,000 miles away.
Wizards are dancing around in their little hut somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Like a fucking Iraqi wedding party.
Bam! Freedom dropped on their asses. Next wizard please.
WholeIssue5880@reddit
Dude wizards can turn back time!
CT0292@reddit
So can Cher. You don't hear her singing about it.
Oh wait.
WholeIssue5880@reddit
Atleast you get that wizards would win now
CT0292@reddit
Nah, humans are fucking orcs.
Just send in a dozen more waves of the meat battalion.
Wizzies can hang out plorking each other in the forest singing their songs about fairies and sparkles. The meat battalion is already on top of them guns blazing.
WholeIssue5880@reddit
Yeah but no matter what the wizards could just travel back in time and fix any mistake they have done.
AmadeusNagamine@reddit
Because they are ultimately a dying society that hasn't evolved for presumably centuries
cder1996@reddit
I'll just leave this here...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sz5NbI-CPs
xQ_YT@reddit
but seriously, a simple Expeliarmus or Locomotor would just counter the gun
vickera@reddit
Better talk fast, 1000m/s comes pretty quick.
Geo2605@reddit
Advanced wizards can cast spells without talking, also Teleport and create magical barriers.
AmadeusNagamine@reddit
ok, first one is potentially threatening because it would be harder tot know what they cast.
The teleport can be very useful but they need to be fast enough...and as the movies shown us, they aren't perfect either, so if you manage to get a bullet right before they vanish, they aren't gonna be doing too well.
The magical barriers have never been exposed to the insane forces of a bullet, for all we know, they may as well be paper. even if they can resist ? how long before they give in ?
bjorntfh@reddit
Can they do it before the .50 cal hits them? The one from out of sight, that hits them before the sound arrives?
Remember: always geek the wizard first.
xQ_YT@reddit
with the average pistol duel being 11-14m apart (take 12.5m) and the .50 cal being as fast as 1000m/s then it would only take the bullet ~0.0125s to hit the opponent.
with the average human reaction time of 250ms, the answer is no
AmadeusNagamine@reddit
that's assuming the wizard is aware and fast enough, shooting a rifle is faster, in every way
Ornery-Example572@reddit
imagine if Harry never got accepted int hogwarts, would he be gooning in this little mancave under the stairs in his late 20's to hentai?
Yothisisastory@reddit
Hagrid in full meal team six gear dual wielding mp5 and just wrecking shit
CheekyMemestealer@reddit
Considering that Hagrid is a half-giant, he might as well be using an M2. Juice him up with luck potion, set him an IV with healing potion and you're good to go. The guy will be unstoppable.
qervem@reddit
That sounds like a wizarding world TF2 uber'd heavy weapons guy
Cowslayer369@reddit
Pretty sure I've read a fanfic where Vernon realizes wizards are trying to kill Harry and just sorta hands him a gun, saying "take out as many freaks as you can before going down"
ithinkihadeight@reddit
Using D&D terms, Protego always seems to be cast as a reaction. Someone shoots something at you, you Shield charm to block it. Fair enough, spells are bright colorful balls that can be tracked with the naked eye, makes sense you could do it, if not outright dodge out of the way.
Bullets are tiny, and traveling at much faster, supersonic velocities. If somehow cast in time, Protego could potentially protect a wizard against a kinetic impact from a rifle round, but there is no way that a wizard could have the reaction time to recognize that a bullet was being fired at them and be able to block it.
Voldemort had absolutely no chance against a well armed muggle population, and thus he never went to the US, even at the height of his power.
YoungDiscord@reddit
Pistol impervio!
Solved
Kvas_HardBass@reddit
Harry Potter series and logic in any shape or form are literally the opposite
Rhettledge@reddit
Honestly, seeing the wizard world work with MI6 and SAS to take on a threat like Voldemort would have been pretty interesting.
cl13a@reddit
Actually, someone made an animation of exactly that called "A Better End to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" - the SAS show up in Part 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7aKByr6Yps
295DVRKSS@reddit
Magical 007 and his Aston Martin broom stick
MentalRise8703@reddit
They are in the UK dumb anon.
Leadfarmerbeast@reddit
I’d like a shooting game that ran on fantasy logic. Usually it’s the old ancient stuff in forgotten tombs that’s most powerful in fantasy. And why lots of fantasy settings take place in the ruins of once great civilizations. So if you had a modern shooter with tactical assault rifles and shit, there’d be some arcane musket in a crypt that would obliterate somebody and everybody around them but then take forever to reload and be roughly comparable to a rocket launcher in effectiveness. Either that or everybody would just have flintlocks but you’d mow them down with an AK47 after delving into some ancient ruins.
johnson7853@reddit
DID YOU BRING A GAT INTO THE CASTLE HARRY?
Said Dumbledore softly
Deldris@reddit
This is why Tactical Breach Wizards has the most superior magic system of all time.
StaryWolf@reddit
Who needs forbidden spells when you have a belt fed assault staff with a fookin laser sight.
CerifiedHuman0001@reddit
I bought that game, still need to play it
Speculosity@reddit
I beat it. It's definitely deserving of its high rating on steam.
Deldris@reddit
That druid mafia isn't going to take itself down.
DankElderberries420@reddit
Good luck Voldemort
Top_Tart_7558@reddit
Doesn't work because they are in the UK where guns and knives are illegal
Zestyclose-Crew6725@reddit
Sometimes i forget harry is British
Illuminaughty99@reddit
Didn’t stop Vernon from owning a shotgun when hagrid kidnapped harry
luujs@reddit
Vernon Dursley absolutely seems like the kind of man to go out of his way to buy a shotgun so he can hunt once a year in the country.
elephantgropingtits@reddit
potter posting never gets old
BathTubBand@reddit
Fucking joke is so old that my GreatGrandmother heard this and fell off her HIPPOGRIFF!
Ahhh?!
Ahhhh?! (Peter Griffin voice)