This shit is gross | TheaterFire

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chickenemoji@reddit

i’ll have to know more about these seasoned meatless crumbles to determine the correct imitation cheese pairing.

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Turd-In-Your-Pocket@reddit (OP)

The “crumbles” are fake eggs.

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Grave_Girl@reddit

I'm guessing bacon bits, to bulk up the other not-quite-bacon.

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10001110101balls@reddit

What's even the point when they're putting pork in it? At least if it was fully vegan they could excuse its shittiness as a niche market product.

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metompkin@reddit

Soy is so much cheaper right now because there is a surplus of it in the US because we couldn't sell enough of it to China some 6 years ago. China went to Brazil for it instead.

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Wasparado@reddit

But they have a GOLDEN CRUST! Are you not enticed?! Also, the pizza version is garbage. I can’t imagine breakfast would be better.

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PricklyBasil@reddit

Yeah, pizza rolls are one of those nostalgia foods I’ve gone back to only to realize that they are legitimately not good. And I say that as someone who mostly loves crap like that!

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Marci_1992@reddit

Basically "bacon" bits that don't specifically say they're made with actual bacon or use a word like "bac'n" instead of "bacon." As others said it's just flavored soy.

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sprankton@reddit

It's the stuff leftover after you make soybean oil.

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long-civility@reddit

Ya, I'd rather eat the people that designed this monstrosity.

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Mayor_Death@reddit

“Pork shoulder bacon” The only thing bacon about pork shoulder is pork

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radda@reddit

All Totino's products use fake cheese.

Yes, even the pizzas.

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ZetsuSen00@reddit

I don’t understand that. I don’t understand any product that uses fake cheese. That’s just dumb and I don’t know what to say more about that

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Yall lieing. These smack. I have 3 boxes of these in my freezer. You probably got a shitty one that taste like chlorine. I recently had a beef pot roast frozen meal that tasted like chlorine and I hated it. I usually get them all the time but this recent time it was Nasty as fuck.

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s_werbenmanjensen_1@reddit

bro cmon.. *lying

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Alarming_Skin8710@reddit

They taste and smell weird. Don't recommend.

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Turd-In-Your-Pocket@reddit (OP)

There is definitely something unnatural about the vapors and fumes they gave off before and after eating some. Threw the rest of the box away.

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dontg3tanybigideas@reddit

lmao this guy i sub to on youtube literally posted a video yesterday about finding a metal shard in one of these

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8Bhj5SJtfk

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morerelativebacons@reddit

These are so so so bad.

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canolafly@reddit

Oh hey, that reminds me of an Outlander quote that is my very favorite!

"I smell the vapors of hell on you"

Can't wait to use it in daily speech, but I don't think I'll have much of chance. Well, maybe.

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shartnado3@reddit

Since I am morbidly curious, I tried all the ones they offer. They are all pretty gross. The sausage ones (not chorizo) are the "best" but man are these not good.

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Isolated_Most559@reddit

Lol 🤣🤣

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Samuel_Alexander@reddit

Yikes, I wouldn’t have bought that lol.

Try the Digiorno sausage and gravy breakfast pizza. It’s literally biscuits and gravy, so good.

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justkeptfading@reddit

You are absolutely right. I'm not a Digiorno guy at all, but those things are amazing.

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MetalSchmetal@reddit

Yeah, I made the mistake of giving these monstrosities a shot recently. They are just as cursed as they seem. I begrudgingly finished the box but only because I couldn't bear the thought of wasting the money on them. Honestly, just waste the money.

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Consistent_Cash_6666@reddit

It’s pretty much bite sized hot pockets

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Outlawed_Panda@reddit

That is an insult to hot pockets. I recently had Totinos thinking they’d be just that but they’re fucking gross. What ever the filling is made from tastes and acts like vomit

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Marci_1992@reddit

Say what you will about hot pockets but at least they're made with actual meat and actual cheese.

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canolafly@reddit

♫Hot pockets!♫

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sneakyfetus83@reddit

I just ate an entire party pizza. And 2 pickles.

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pcgamergirl@reddit

Totino's snack rolls all suck across the board now. I swear the recipe was different 30 years ago when I ate them regularly, because they taste completely different now.

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MettaRed@reddit

I will be forever mad they discontinued SUPREME PIZZA ROLLS. Wtf.

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long-civility@reddit

Soylent Green, anyone?

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busterhyman1014@reddit

“Explosive diarrhea first thing in the morning? I think so!”

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Miami_Mice2087@reddit

yeah, not a totino's fan either.

My favorite pocket breakfast food are monetrey breakfast burritos, and the beef n bean flavor. The ones with eggs are 2x the price of the ones with beef or bean, so i get the ones I can afford on a given marketing day. :) They're both hella tasty tho, for frozen breetos.

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panda388@reddit

I bought a box of these because breakfast comes in a box. But it was sausage and egg. Absolutely horrible.

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Opossumancer@reddit

I bought these yesterday for my wife and she loves them, but she has ARFID and I don't trust her opinions on most food. They smell really strange.

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Different-Pie8246@reddit

Nope nope nope. Will not, can not. Just looking at these makes me wanna puke.

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Master_Ad_2083@reddit

Sober…..gross

But drunk me? Bet they are fire

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Lepke2011@reddit

Totino's are pretty gross to begin with. However, I have to admit that I pick up one of their frozen pizzas every once in a while because it was all I could afford in college (10 for $10 at Walmart) and I get nostalgic every now and again.

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cadaever@reddit

toaster strudel's breakfast line is far superior...one of my favorite shitty frozen foods ever

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ElectricTomatoMan@reddit

Goop

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DragonPie83008@reddit

These were horrible !!! Not the chirzo was the worst !

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ddddddddddgggg@reddit

what you don't like overly process sodium ridden food?

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Epicgrapesoda98@reddit

+That tastes like the concept of food

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KYHotBrownHotCock@reddit

Space breakfast be like

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Venge22@reddit

My vegan ass sometimes wishes they would just lean in and go full shitty on the meatless crumble pizza rolls. They add that shit to regular ones and people freak out because it's not what is advertised

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katatayyy@reddit

I like them….🤪

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BulkyLeather2260@reddit

the chorizo ones were actually pretty good imo

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burns87@reddit

I… didn’t hate these.

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MillHoodz_Finest@reddit

yeah the sausage are better...

the bacon wasn't really bacon, it was like really salty ham?

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Far-Dimension3507@reddit

Real bacon covered in fake shit sounds like mmm delicious not in a good way

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Loki_the_Cockatiel@reddit

I feel like you didn't need to buy it to know it was gross

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BlondeJess19@reddit

If only your username was turd-in-my-hot-pocket

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shartnado3@reddit

If only, however my username checked out after I tried these.

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NineteenthJester@reddit

Saw a bunch of those on clearance the other day, glad I didn't pick up a box.

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Zomochi@reddit

I could’ve told you that 😂

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italianpirate76@reddit

Dollar store kinda day? Real

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mAckAdAms4k@reddit

I shamefully once in a while air fry the pizza supreme flavor and I like them still. I know.

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Turd-In-Your-Pocket@reddit (OP)

I still love pizza rolls

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mAckAdAms4k@reddit

I got bored w them microwaved and then tossed them in the air frys and they're crispy af and hot inside. like being 13 all over again, except not.

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Antknee2099@reddit

How is it that the "pork shoulder bacon" is the only "real" ingredient?

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StinkingDylan@reddit

Established 19996?

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Prime_Galactic@reddit

In the year of 20000, there is only pockets.

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theClanMcMutton@reddit

Yeah, what is that? Why is the Ag Dept inspecting this product?

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theClanMcMutton@reddit

What is that Department of Agriculture inspection mark? I don't think I've ever seen that before. Est. 19996?

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kehr_behr@reddit

I was excited for these but they taste the way a Frisbee smells. Do not recommend.

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docterwannabe1@reddit

Yeah I wasn't a fan either

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Realmofchaos333@reddit

I doubt a stoner would complain…

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RRhodygurl401@reddit

But when did it go from Tostinos to Totinos?

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Narfubel@reddit

I used to think it was tostinos too but it's always been totinos apparently

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RRhodygurl401@reddit

Nope, mandala effect

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DPace17@reddit

I think you’re just mixing Totinos and Tostitos together to get tostinos.

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Possible_Abalone_846@reddit

Now there's a marketing idea.

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DPace17@reddit

Nacho cheese and beef? Or Chicken? With some pico. In a tortilla-like wonton? Fried crispy like a pizza roll? I’d go out of my way to purchase them

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Juicifer_thesecond@reddit

This is what I came to say. Tostitos are crunchy and delicious. Totinos is dubious with shit like this ^

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HairyStyrofoam@reddit

Yeah… I don’t even eat their pizza rolls anymore

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Possible_Abalone_846@reddit

Show us the actual product!

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hobokamp@reddit

I would've never guessed.

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Amazing-Fish4587@reddit

Seasoned meatless crumbles

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nvrmndtheruins@reddit

Bacon, imitation cheddar cheese, meatless crumbles... What? 😂

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Mehdals_@reddit

Lol I was going to try these, they were on an endcap with no price. Figured gotta be around $5-$6 I'll give them a try, went to see if they had other flavors. Found them and they were $12 buck a box, quickly tossed it back in the freezer and went on my way.

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