How are interracial couples viewed in the UK?

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Any_Crew_5478@reddit

It’s so normal that most British people would think you’re weird to even ask

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Depends where you are. In some areas people absolutely do give a second look, or worse. There are a lot of backwards places in the UK. My Asian in laws say there are no go zones in the country they try avoid if possible. Seaside towns being one.

So are you saying Asians are the racists because you didn’t marry into your own culture. Not judging just trying to understand

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princessparis5@reddit

I get this too, what they don’t know is that I’m half Indian half English. It’s so annoying, why do people care so much?! My family is very mixed so it’s the absolute norm. I’ve even had Indian guys say weird things to me because of my race, and it was their idea of making a move. Ugh!

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SBS_38@reddit

I was going to agree that it depends where you live and possibly what your background is. I’m Asian and all my long term relationships have been with guys from different ethnic backgrounds. When I lived briefly in the midlands in a city with a large Asian population around 15 years ago, I felt really uncomfortable walking through the city I was living in with my mixed race boyfriend and also was questioned and felt really judged by people in shops and things about the relationship . When I moved with him to London there was no issue at all we lived in a much more diverse area. It’s one of the reasons I loved London so much. Although actually the only the other time there was a problem was with a different boyfriend (who was white) who insisted on coming with me to a part of London where there were a lot of Asian people (where I was only visiting for a very specific reason) and I did feel we got a lot of looks there and I felt very uncomfortable (he was oblivious!) Funnily enough in both these cases the people I was being judged by were from a different Asian background than me- but they just base their judgement on what you look like and assumed I was part of their culture and doing something that was considered taboo (dating outside the ethnicity/culture) . I deliberately live away from my original community for this exact reason - so it was upsetting to be judged by people I didn’t even know/wasn’t even part of their cultural background. Thankfully this was not very often at all in London (literally once in nearly 2 decades) though as long as I stayed away from certain areas which was easy to do given the sheer size and diversity. I’ve now moved away to a much less diverse area and am currently single but as it’s a mostly white area I don’t imagine I would be judged in the same way.

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panspiritus@reddit

And how exactly you are interracial couple, being the same (caucasian) race?

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BurnUnionJackBurn@reddit

virgin_goat@reddit

Yet when i tame my fave sheep to an hotel suddenly everyone is speciest

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Fine-Koala389@reddit

Why didn't you stick to a hotel in Wales ... or maybe the Lake District if feeling exotic?

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Ze_Gremlin@reddit

as long as I don't have to hear it

Nah, hearing your neighbours at it is a mixture of funny/fascinating..

Like reality TV..

We had a neighbour who was a fairly frail, skinny, middle aged women. Bit of a karen by day, but by night, she must have had some moves.. there was a string of strange men paying her visits during lockdown and all we heard was the blokes moaning away..

Hmmm it can really depend though. As a white guy, if I'm walking around with an English girl, nobody bats an eye. If I'm walking around with a South Asian girl on a date, I get glared at a lot. And that's typically by South Asian men, not by anyone English.

As a whole it's normalised here, but not everyone seems happy about it in all cases.

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rinkydinkmink@reddit

Ha if an Asian girl walks down the street arm in arm with a white girl they get the looks from the Asian guys too. I actually got asked to do that deliberately by a total stranger to annoy her cousins because essentially they had been bullying her severely and iirc trying to force her into a marriage. We're talking pretty extreme stuff had already gone on, it had got physical, and there were a group of them.

Anyway she asked me because of the way I was dressed (looking outrageous lol) and how much it would make them angry so we pretended to be really good friends and walked past them all chatting. They persuaded her to get into a car with them and I insisted on making sure she was consenting and gave her my address and told her where to find me if there was any trouble.

I went home and told my boyfriend and friends and they totally lost the plot and expected us to all get raided by the local asian gang (serious dudes, very dangerous) but nothing happened. I tried telling them that anybody with one braincell would just be happy that their cousin had met someone who was kind to them but they didn't believe me.

Anyway that's my random rambly memory story for you. I hope you enjoyed it. All this happened in the early 90s and everyone involved was totally off their face on drugs and/or insane at the time. I actually caught up with the girl again many years later at a Mind day centre, funnily enough!

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pineappleshampoo@reddit

Same here. It’s lovely people are so hopeful and naive saying it’s not a thing, but it’s a shame they’re trying to speak as if that’s an inalienable truth. It really isn’t. As a white girl married to an Asian guy we get a LOT of stares and comments from other Asians.

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auntie_eggma@reddit

I'm Italian with an Indian partner (eight years now) and we've never had the slightest issue. No weird looks, awkward questions, nothing. Not from Asians, not from anyone. It's a total non-issue, at least in my experience in London. Even in heavily Asian areas. No one bats an eye, no one looks at me like i stole their man or whatever it is people are expecting. Literally a non-issue.

But I would never (again) live outside a major city in any country, because rural folk everywhere in the world are more racist on average than city folk.

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Romana_Jane@reddit

We don't even have to be together, I get comments and questions on my surname from Asian people, and so does our very white passing daughter.

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Celtic_Cheetah_92@reddit

I’m the same (my partner is Indian) and we get a lot of comments from south Asians. Normally they are telling him how lucky he is, so it’s not deliberately vile exactly, but it’s definitely racialised and weird. Makes me feel like some kind of trophy rather than a complete person.

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I worked with an Asian girl and she'd go on work nights out with us but ask us not to put stuff on Facebook about the night. It could have either been the drinking side of things or the more romantic part, but it was clearly a major concern that either family, friends or just the community would find out

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HawweesonFord@reddit

Don't think this is true. Can't see how everybody is saying what they're commenting tbh. People definitely think things and mention it. Maybe nit directly to you or in front of both of you but they do. All the comments seem to be like what people think it should be like. Not the reality.

Grown up in the south east and lived around and a while in London.

Been in several interracial relationships. Casually and more seriously. I have probably had hundreds of comments. Was seeing a black girl and people mentioned it. Colleagues friends family. Seeing east asjan girls people really mention it a lot. My experience the most commonly commented on ones. Seen and heard other comments made about white women dating or liking blacks. Having Muslim partners. All sorts of stuff. Some derogatory and some more matter of factual.

I've had comments from chiense waitresses when in chinese restaurants with chinese girlfriends. I've dated girls who said they only day x race.

Drunk people sober people poor people professional people. All sorts said this sorta stuff.

It's way more common than people in this thread are making out.

TheOneCalamity@reddit

Yeah your comment reminded me I'm in one too haha, I'd been in the thread 2 minutes

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Nannyhirer@reddit

Came to say the same. Glad I wasn't the only one!

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That’s because there are very few Latin people in the UK and it’s a very diverse set of continents. What does a Latin person look like? It’s quite a classist and colourist society the majority of Mexicans for example don’t look like Spaniards. Generally everyone is mestizo with those with stronger indigenous features being less likely to be upwardly mobile and therefore unlikely to travel to the UK due to this. Afro Meztizo making up a lot of Latina America too, it’s quite a mix and of course some people more white passing ( often those who appear on tv ) again due to systemic problems. All this to say perhaps you have and didn’t know it.

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Missus_Nicola@reddit

Thinking of it now, you're right, I'm in Yorkshire, and I don't often see anyone who is latino/latina.

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RimDogs@reddit

That is weird when you think back to the large influx of central and south Americans who moved to North Yorkshire and the Yorkshire Dale's over the last century.

Also the fuckers have never been to Glasgow and had a Vindaloo.

Comedy isn't the best barometer. Different cultures laugh at different things. Anyone from a minority background will have been raised with that culture's comedy as a key component of their sense of humour.

That isn't to say that a "British sense of humour" would be alien to someone from a different background, it just might not be worth their time to attend, in the same way that I wouldn't open the curtains if Michael MacIntyre was doing a tight five minutes in my back garden.

There are exceptions to every rule, but it would be interesting to see how many English-speaking French or German people would visit a British comedy show for the second time.

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endoplanet@reddit

Comedy isn't the best barometer. Different cultures laugh at different things. Anyone from a minority background will have been raised with that culture's comedy as a key component of their sense of humour.

That's exactly what they're saying though. If different races have different cultures, then race is "a thing".

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vj_c@reddit

In London, race is still absolutely a thing in terms of how and who you socialise with. Most of the pubs I go to near my office and near my home are 90%+ white

I'm Indian, the problem here is you're looking at pubs as a barometer. Firstly, it's important to note that South Asians are the UKs biggest minority group & a fair chunk are Muslim, so aren't going to the pub.

The other big factor is even as a guy who's perfectly happy drinking alcohol, other South Asians tend to invite you to their homes rather than the pub. And not just other South Asians, I've got Italian friends & they have the same culture of visiting eachother's homes.

As someone in a mixed marriage. This isnt’t true. We’ve been randomly shouted at in the street or had comments made. Not always negative mind you and not a common occurrence neither but also not welcomed particularly

Ive definitely noticed subtle differences in how im treated with her too.

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po2gdHaeKaYk@reddit

Coming from Canada, no I wouldn't say it's normal. It's more common, definitely, but not the norm. It depends on region and also the interracial mix as well.

However, one significant difference is that the UK is much more tight lipped about all things race. Unlike "melting pot" places like the US and Canada, race isn't openly discussed in the same way (at least until more recently with the immigration issues).

There is racism about mixed couples. Not necessarily overt, but it’s there. Sadly racism seems to be having a bit of a renaissance, at least in my bit of Britain.

That said, generally people as a whole accept that people can and do marry whomever they want.

DeemonPankaik@reddit

Two or three generations ago it was definitely controversial

What's really frustrating is when their toxic culture spills over into ours, influencing impressionable people who then start parroting all the same talking points as if the US and UK were the same place.

pinnacle126@reddit

Imagine a Russian saying “we can in fact criticise Putin, but the government is free to dish out consequences”. Our authoritarian restrictions on speech are shocking to virtually all Americans across the political spectrum.

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luciferslandlord@reddit

Im embarrassed that we don't have freedom of speech tbh

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MGD109@reddit

I mean legally we do. It's part of the 97 human rights act. We just don't have absolute freedom of speech.

To be fair neither does America though (just more than we do), so its kind of a moot point.

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WarmIntro@reddit

Nope. The 98 human rights act article 10 is freedom of expression

"Freedom of expression

1, Everyone has the right to freedom of expression. This right shall include freedom to hold opinions and to receive and impart information and ideas without interference by public authority and regardless of frontiers. This Article shall not prevent States from requiring the licensing of broadcasting, television or cinema enterprises.

2, The exercise of these freedoms, since it carries with it duties and responsibilities, may be subject to such formalities, conditions, restrictions or penalties as are prescribed by law and are necessary in a democratic society, in the interests of national security, territorial integrity or public safety, for the prevention of disorder or crime, for the protection of health or morals, for the protection of the reputation or rights of others, for preventing the disclosure of information received in confidence, or for maintaining the authority and impartiality of the judiciary."

List of articles within the act https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1998/42/schedule/1/part/I

Happy to be wrong, if you have a better/newer source

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Foreverythingareason@reddit

In the US the first amendment gives freedom of speech with restrictions such as inviting violence. In the UK article 10 of the human rights act grants freedom of speech with restrictions like you can't invite violence.

US https://constitution.congress.gov/browse/amendment-1/

UK https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1998/42/schedule/1/part/I/chapter/9

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matomo23@reddit

But what’s that got to do with the topic though? I do agree with you, we don’t have freedom of speech. Close to it but not quite.

LauraPa1mer@reddit

That's fair

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panic_puppet11@reddit

The demographics are so different that the race discourse in the US really doesn't translate well to the UK. USA's demographic is roughly 62% white, in the UK it's 83%. The black population of the USA is 12.5%, compared to the UK's 3.7% (which is also heavily geographically concentrated), and 4% of their population is Asian compared to our 8.7% - our Asian population skews heavily to South Asia (India, Pakistan, Bangladesh) and theirs is predominantly East/Central Asian (Chinese, Filipino, Vietnamese). The US also has a fairly large Hispanic demographic that is basically nonexistent over here.

Plus our differences and intolerances seem much more cultural-based than race-based, though the two are definitely interlinked.

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apainintheokole@reddit

Part of it is because the country is young in comparison to many European countries. After all the Revolutionary War was only in the 1790's. They just don't have the sense of history and belonging that Europeans do with their countries.

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My paternal grandad was Scottish, my other 3 grandparents English, and though I love my Scottish heritage it's absolutely wild to me that if I was American I would most likely be calling myself Scottish to all and sundry! Hell my great grandkids would probably still be doing it.

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Majestic_Clam@reddit

American here. I've noticed this too, and I think I can (a little bit) explain why we do this. One reason is that Indigenous Americans are the only people who are actually "American." Literally everyone else here is from a line of immigrants from someplace else.

I took a DNA test and I'm .1% American, ethnically. Culturally, sure, I talk loud at bars and drive an SUV, so: definitely American. But ethnically, it's a different story.

My relatives in Scotland and England are all nearly 100% Scottish or 100% English on their DNA tests, which I suspect is fairly common. So I can see why someone saying "I'm Scottish" in Scotland would seem stupid to the point of being annoying. You already know what it means to be Scottish. You know exactly which foods, customs, ideas, diseases, behaviors, etc. are Scottish.

We don’t have that in America.

I was raised knowing that my family very specifically came from "Germany and Ukraine." That’s why we celebrate Fastnacht Day and eat halupki.

But according to DNA, I’m only 2% German. Which also happens to be how Congolese, Arab, Ashkenazi Jewish, and Italian I apparently am. 30% Ukrainian. 60% Irish(!).

But I’d never have known any of this without a DNA test, because non-white, non-Christian history has historically been covered up in the United States - for example, little is known about anyone's Black ancestors here because they were considered property and not documented. Indigenous Americans were forced to assimilate and their history was also largely erased. Irish people in early America? Same.

Uncovering these secrets about my heritage has made me feel more in touch with my ancestors, and maybe even myself.

Once America has been around for another 700 or so years (hard to imagine after today’s news, sadly), I think people will more readily identify as "American," because being American by then might mean something more concrete and meaningful than "drives a truck, drinks watered-down beer, and loves guns."

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unseemly_turbidity@reddit

Yeah, we know all that Americans being raised 'knowing' that they're Scottish or Irish or German or whatever. The bit we don't really understand is why you connect DNA with culture at all.

What it means to be Scottish is knowing the customs, foods, ideas etc, not having a DNA test that says you're 100% Scottish (which I think is unusual btw since I don't see how it could be separated so confidently from English or Irish.

My own DNA wouldn't say I'm 100% British or English. Assuming it matches my parents', it reflects the major waves of immigration inner London had over the last few hundred years - French (Huguenots), Italian, Ashkenazi and Irish as well as English and generic western European. It's weird that an American would think that makes me less a Londoner.

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itwasmar0on@reddit

I think about this too! All my grandparents and both parents are English but I was born and brought up in Scotland and would never consider myself as anything other than Scottish. If I was born in America it would be a whole different story 🤣

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matomo23@reddit

My grandparents on both sides were Irish, came here in the 30s. My paternal nan was brought up in Ireland for the most part though and has a strong Irish accent.

If I went and stood on Grafton Street and said “I’m Irish” with my accent the Irish would laugh at me. It’s such an American thing to do, but they expect better from Brits.

My Irish heritage barely ever comes up, only if someone asks about my surname.

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DovahkiinForTheSoul@reddit

My maternal Grandmother is Scottish, maternal Grandfather is French but my mother calls herself Welsh because that’s where she was born and raised.

Americans are looking for cultural roots because they have none otherwise.

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pjeedai@reddit

Paternal Grandad, Scottish, still have Great Aunts and family in the Loch Ness area, have a family tartan. Paternal Grandma Irish but grew up in Scotland.

Surname is Scottish, kids names are Scottish/Gaelic. Maternal line for my wife, Scottish.

Maternal side all born and bred Yorkshire.

So we grew up with 'proper' Tablet, shortbread, and Yorkshire puddings and Beef Dripping Chips because that's just what was the done thing.

But I never wear a kilt for weddings even though I could, and if asked I'd never describe myself as half / Scottish / Gaelic heritage.

It just is, I'm aware of it, carried on family names etc but I've never lived there and wouldn't claim anything more than that. Dad grew up between Liverpool and Burma (he was born there when Grandparents stationed there in WW2 and stayed on until it was no longer safe to be there) and he's far more militant Scouse than referencing his own more direct lineage to Scotland.

In the same way Americans seem to claim Irish or Italian I could as well but I would never say I'm Irish even though my grandads Irish and thats not that distant and I have an Irish surname, because I didn't grow up Irish, have never been to Ireland and have never met any relatives apart from him that are Irish. I don't understand how you can claim to be Italian or Irish or something with none of those experiences or culture?

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GreyLon1233@reddit

As a kid I never understood why Americans on TV loved to identify as "Irish" or "Italian" when their family was American going back generations until I realised they were talking about their ethnicity, which was apparently super important.

Their history is less than 300 years old as a country, whereas as an Englishman or a Scot if I had great grandparents who came from Ireland we would not remotely call ourselves "Irish" on that basis even if we are technically just as Irish as "Irish Americans".

Our race evolved here and we've been in the same 500 mile radius for over 10,000 years. So it comes across differently, whereas people's American identity is like being on a Mars colony and they're going on about where they came form.

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Andechser@reddit

Don’t forget that the sheer concept of 'race' is itself completely unscientific and it stems from very dark times.

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daern2@reddit

Americans seems preoccupied with race and ethnicity to a degree that it took me a while to get my head around.

I'd go further and add that for a supposed classless society, they do seem to have created a system that loves to pigeon-hole citizens into their assigned place. I've always thought that, in reality, they're worse at this than we are - we might have the stereotyped upper, middle and lower classes, but they're extreme focus on "whaddya make last year?" has created a very strong caste system without anyone really noticing.

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Joystic@reddit

We see race very differently.

In the UK our approach is to just shut up about it and treat everyone the same. If we can all do that everything else falls into place.

Americans see that as racist, they believe by ignoring it we’re perpetuating racism. They prefer to put race front and centre, always having it in the conversation as a means of tackling any racism head on.

I don’t think either is right or wrong, but I can tell you which one is a lot more fucking annoying.

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cdca@reddit

I think that might be going a bit far. The UK has always had a major problem with racial bigotry, and we certainly don't "shut up and treat everyone the same". If only!

But US racial thinking seems more foundational to the culture, more baked in to society if that makes sense. Perhaps that's inevitable in a country ultimately made up entirely of immigrants, and racial slavery is its own can of worms.

But I do absolutely agree that it feels qualitatively different to European racial thinking.

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Throwing_Daze@reddit

When I watch stand up comedy, not the big hour long shows, but like the short 5/10 minutes sets so many of the people form the US is based around race. And even if it is, there is always something about race in one of the jokes somewhere.

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tradandtea123@reddit

I'm lost by how people in America can have families going back 200 years where they're all Irish or all Italian in a country with so many different groups of people.

Exactly this.

Crommington@reddit

It’s largely what people I’ve met believe about Native Americans. I’d say the right time and place to disseminate knowledge is on Reddit. I mean look, someone already commented with a counter argument. That’s the sort of thing I’m looking for on here. You know, on a website which is designed to have discussions.

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Crommington@reddit

What are you contributing?

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LOSS35@reddit

The "noble savage" myth is most likely just that, but the truth of it is we simply don't know for sure how violent Native American societies were before European contact because there's no written record.

Archaeological evidence like human remains with axe- and arrow-wounds certainly point to some tribes, particularly in the American Southwest, being warlike, while early European contact points to some tribes being friendly to outsiders. Here's how Christopher Columbus described the first tribe he encountered:

"They brought us parrots and balls of cotton and spears and many other things, which they exchanged for the glass beads and hawks' bells. They willingly traded everything they owned. They do not bear arms, and do not know them, for I showed them a sword, they took it by the edge and cut themselves out of ignorance. With 50 men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want."

The crazy thing that that USA does that they think is normal is they do this weird thing where they insist on referring to everyone's heritage even if they're third or fourth generation.

They're not proper Americans they're something "other".

African American Asian American

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Virtual-Purple-5675@reddit

Yea that's not why

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Indonesia is like this too. Muslim nation but the majority of people still live fairly normal lives. I was visiting a friend there once when her mum came home, took off her hijab and grabbed us all a beer from the fridge. They would even drink during Ramadan. The idea that all Muslims are purists is kinda outdated

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richardjohn@reddit

I have a colleague who is a strict Muslim but he fucking loves going to the pub to play pool/darts even if he's on the J20s.

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Blaueveilchen@reddit

With Muslims it is a bit different because of their mosque's political culture.

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rahsoft@reddit

..and with race.Ive seen plenty of segregation by race among muslims in multiple countries whenever I went to the mosque( the quiet biting back comments you hear from one race towards another). found that there was even assumptions made about what race my wife( former) had married. had muslims assuming that we were both arabs( the look on their faces when they met us!)

for us living in the middle east- my wife considered the worse was the british pakistanis working in finance and law in the gulf. Even told me of a meeting in a magic circle law firm( her employer) with them canvassing for business and her boss a british pakistani was telling her what they were saying( racist remarks). They all shut up when he told them that they were insulting their client.

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Blaueveilchen@reddit

So, this means that Muslims can be quite raci*t. I was not aware of it.

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ViscountessdAsbeau@reddit

I read somewhere that after Mo Salah came to Liverpool and quikcly established himself as an absolute standout player, Islamophobic incidents went down measureably. (Hate crimes, went down by 18.9% apparently).

People had a relateable Muslim hero.

There’s more minorities as a proportion of the population and there’s way more places that are significantly one minority race or ethnicity in comparison to the UK.

In the Uk you don’t really get this the same way, you actually see it in other places like France as well more than the UK.

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Indomie_At_3AM@reddit

Even Australia is. I live in Sydney right now and all of the immigrants stick close to their own communities which is fine but they do it to such an extent. There’s suburbs which are pretty much exclusively a certain race

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grumblingduke@reddit

It is.

The UK never had the same level of legally-mandated racism the US had. It had socially-enforced racism, but it was never a crime to be the wrong race in the wrong place.

In the US, mixed-race marriages were illegal in many places until 1967. Notably in Alabama the constitutional rule banning it wasn't formally repealed until 2000, when 40% of voters opposed removing it.

Bans on where people of different ethnicities can live, work, own property, who they can live with, what they can do have long-lasting effects.

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MGD109@reddit

Well, it's the difference in legacy. The UK was a big player in the Slave trade, but never really had slaves in the UK (officially at least) and likewise, there never was a legal history of racial segregation in the UK (as in it was legal for businesses to discriminate against people based on race until the 1964 race relations act, but it was never legally required or even the real norm outside of some very elite places).

I don't see how that's relevant. There is no correlation between racial segregation and PC culture.

There IS a correlation between racial segregation and a recent history of institutionally enforced racial segregation. I would argue that there's pretty good evidence of causation there too.

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It felt like that even before this current "woke" or whatever trend. I remember visiting US with my mixed family in the early 00s and getting that sense, that everyone was a bit siloed in their own communities.

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The_Blip@reddit

The US has a relatively recent history of institutionally enforced segregation. They purposefully divided up areas and kept black people out of some while encouraging white people to go to the others. They also have a history of legally forbidding interracial marriages, interracial social social event, interracial work, and interracial education.

So all the black people and all the white people put down roots and built social boundaries in a legally enforced racially segregated society. Those legal enforcements have come down, but that doesn't mean people will break across those socially formed boundaries.

If you put a highway down the middle of a town and force black people on one side and white people on the other, they're not going to naturally cross that highway and integrate with one another, they'll naturally tend towards staying in their already formed communities.

So yeah, it isn't 'PC culture' that makes people racially segregate, it's racial segregation that makes people racially segregate. Even after the laws are repealed, it still has a lasting effect.

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theonetrueteaboi@reddit

I'm pretty sure the American obsession with race was not caused by political correctness.

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Pargula_@reddit

In 2024 it is and the labelling is a big part of it.

Sorry you guys have to go through that. I'm a white fella with a black girlfriend and it seems perfectly acceptable that way round. Some way to go I guess.

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spawnofbacon@reddit

Nope. I’m a mixed black woman whose last boyfriend was white - his friends were absolutely racist to me.

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coldestclock@reddit

Just remembered this lady (white) that I used to work with who made jokes about being married to a black man. Shit like “going back to my mud hut”, and it was so fucking weird, everyone hated it. None of us had met her husband or anything so it seemed really out of pocket…

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pineappleshampoo@reddit

The baby def got us looks! People would look at me (super pale) and then my biracial kid and comment he was a bit ‘swarthy’ or ‘dark’ before asking ‘is his dad, you know…’ while doing that motion where they pass their hand over their face. It amazed me how openly absolute strangers would comment on my child’s skin tone and ask me about it.

The other side was endless salivating rabid comments about how incredibly beautiful our son would be due to being biracial, like cartoon dogs after a pork chop. Like going on and on predicting his skin tone, eye colour, hair colour, features etc. and making out like he’d be the most stunning child in the universe.

It’s very weird being in an interracial relationship, in the UK, in 2024. Those saying it’s not even a thing anyone notices are very sheltered.

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RockNMelanin@reddit

Oh I forgot about the unfinished questions!

I remember my wife telling me about a time she was out with her mum, sister and very white nieces and nephews. My SILs kids were asked "is daddy at work today?", whereas my wife got "is dad still...around or....?"

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indecisivepelican@reddit

I just cringed so hard. My god, what goes through some people's heads??

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RockNMelanin@reddit

I've lost track of the number of times I've heard comments behind our back (and to our faces) along the lines of "once you go black...." and "we can guess why she's with him".

People can be gross.

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PsychologicalAd4430@reddit

I’ll tell you one thing for certain though: it doesn’t look a bit like ya!

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fnigler@reddit

Not that it’s right, but there are plenty of people here who would call your wife a “race traitor”, or something to that effect. The UK is not free from racism like half of these comments suggest lol

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RockNMelanin@reddit

We've both had comments to this effect over the years.

A few "friends" of mine made comments about heritage and status etc, don't speak to them anymore

And a few comments from extended family members about religion and skin tones

Generally no issues, from Birmingham, but sometimes you get " that look" And you know exactly what it means

And I know for avoid certain situations and social moods

Casual racism is a part of the UK, and that's a shameful truth, maybe we don't all say the N or P word, but people here are very comfortable about being uncomfortable when more races are allowed in higher positions or in prominent situations

People in this subreddit saying people don't see race, tell me how many people not white you spend time with in your house and with your family?

I am stunned at all these 'no racism here!' comments. I think a lot of people are just picturing their ideal situation, not thinking about every day reality. I think a point when racism against interracial couples becomes really noticeable (and also intersected with misogyny) is when people see a couple and notice/comment on/speculate about the origin of their baby. That kind of comment is so much rarer when both parents appear to be the same ethnicity.

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pineappleshampoo@reddit

Yeah this. It’s nice that people are weighing in saying it’s not an issue and people don’t even notice. But it’s not… true lol. White woman married to an Asian man, 100% we get looks and comments and stares, mostly from other Asians.

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hammockinggirl@reddit

My friends are an interracial couple, he is south Asian and she is white. They live in a relatively small affluent town in middle England. They get some looks, mainly from the Asian community funnily enough. Sometimes they find it an issue in restaurants and public places where the husband will be ignored in favour of the wife but it’s much less common now. Plus we’re not far from Coventry where it’s very normal.

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Silver-Appointment77@reddit

I stare at a man with a black wife, but its not because of colour. Its how different they are. Hes about 6 foot 4 and really skinny, yet his wife is around 5 foot tops, quite plump with these enormous boobs. The difference is amazing.

Although i do the same with everyone where the size difference is opposite of each other.

Are you and your wife like that?

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botwewa@reddit

Yeah there are so many presumably white people here saying they don’t care but reality says otherwise. I also think the type of pairing plays a role too. Black men with white women are far more normalised in society and black women with white men. Not saying it’s a bad thing at all but I think a white man with a POC gets more stares than anyone else. My husband (white) makes it a point to hold my hand even more when we’re getting stares and I love that he doesn’t feel a way about it because I do sometimes - like I’ve done something wrong.

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I think her being seen as a pushy American was probably the dominant motivation - though I've no doubt many are racists as well, until the wedding when her mum was filmed, a LOT of Brits had no idea she was biracial

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BlueTrin2020@reddit

lol imagine the convo.

American: do you think Meghan should be allowed to marry Harry
us: no way, she’s an effing Yank

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apainintheokole@reddit

No - it was more because she didn't come across as a nice person and because she seemed too much of a Diva! Also because she wasn't willing to do the duties the role required of her.

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Few-Station8831@reddit

It’s not just skin colour or being American Megan Markle’s absolutely stunning and has enjoyed some success in her career so automatically the press wanted to take her down a peg or two.

Tbf Doesn’t help that at times she’s comes across as bit of a whiny twat and feeds perception she made “our Harry” into a whiny twat also. Despite all her good deeds and there’s a fair shout on her being a decent person that’s the take away imho

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Longirl@reddit

I loved her until all the dad stuff came out. I feel really sorry for her father, he’s been discarded. It doesn’t strike me as something someone who is kind would do.

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forfar4@reddit

"A bit of racism" AKA "The Daily Mail"

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Beautiful-Control161@reddit

Not even that she was American. More so she's a pretentious cunt 🤣

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asphytotalxtc@reddit

I genuinely remember a conversation like this, with an American tourist in London at the time...

"Do you think Meghan should be even allowed to marry a prince??!"

"Absolutely not, what a horrid self serving bitch! Harry could do SO much better!"

"No that's not what I meant, I mean because of her colour?"

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fishface-1977@reddit

I had no idea to be honest.

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Master_Bumblebee680@reddit

Bro change it quick! It’s Harry not William who is with Meghan

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geyeetet@reddit

I remember people being far more upset that she was American than that she wasn't white lol

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Gavcradd@reddit

I had an argument (well, more of a heated conversation) with my wife about this. We'd watched all of Suits together and I'd never even once thought of Meghan as any different race than us (well, apart from her being American). Boggled my mind that (a) she is apparantly and (b) even if so, it matters to anyone.

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Kingreaper@reddit

I think if you asked that question alone, the reason most Brits would think someone might not condone it is because she was an actress and commoner, rather than because of her skin colour.

Wait, Meghan Markle isn't white?

I don't particularly follow royal news, but I've heard about her and seen images of her multiple times and I honestly had no idea that she wasn't considered white.

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welshfach@reddit

Also the question of 'what do you called African Americans born in the UK?' - yes I have seen exactly this question on reddit.

starderpderp@reddit

To this date, I'm still shocked that the trashy news were using race as a reason that Megan shouldn't marry Harry.

I was even more shocked that she was upset by it.

Yeah I think that whole Meghan thing was idiotic but it was mostly them being a bit scandalised she was an american actress, which was considered "crass" on both counts.

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Awordofinterest@reddit

because she was an actress and commoner, rather than because of her skin colour.

I disagree

So Meghan (Who married Harry) is a commoner, sure, But so is Catherine (Who married Prince William) (although some ties to king Edward III although I think it's something like 1 in 3 Brits have ties to Edward III) Princess Diana who married Charles was also a commoner.

Princess Eugene married a commoner, Princess Margerette too, Princess Anne married 2 commoners (One was a Royal Navy Officer), Prince Edward also married a commoner.

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yellowsubmarine45@reddit

Kate got a LOT of abuse and many sarcastic comments about her parents because she was too "common"

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fanta_fantasist@reddit

We’ve definitely had some unusual comments here ( Scotland).

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bambaveli@reddit

It’s a non issue, I’m nearly 40 and I’ve never heard anyone say anything negative about people in interracial relationships, I’ve never even heard any old people say anything negative regarding it.

The only ‘racist’ stuff you’ll hear in the UK will be about people from a certain religion. Apart from the odd nutter people here don’t care about the colour of peoples skin.

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fingersarnie@reddit

It depends where you live. I live in an area that’s so white, the Klan would think it’s not diverse enough!

Most urban areas people don’t care.

Now seaside towns…they’re a different breed altogether…20 years behind in fashion, culture and views.

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xxhamsters12@reddit

In the uk we couldn’t give a flying fuck what you do as long as you don’t bother anyone physically no one will care. We’re quite unbothered people

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Another_Random_Chap@reddit

Depends how racist they are! And some of the minorities can be incredibly racist.

ToothDoctor24@reddit

There's a term for this on tiktok called Wasian and I think it's meant to be a flex

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Surface_Detail@reddit

Legit, this must feel like a lot to live up to as a kid growing up.

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ToothDoctor24@reddit

What races are you if you don't mind my asking?

I don’t think it’s always a case of going “oh look there’s an interracial couple”, but it’s a simple acknowledgement that people are of different races - the same way you might notice someone is tall or someone is short. People are different, and there’s no issue with different people being together.

I think you are conflating two issues here. It isn't noticing that some people are tall and short; it is highlighting a couple where one is tall and the other is short. We talk of tall and short people all the time but never about mixed height relationships.

I think saying a couple is interracial is fine depending on the context. E.g. if you go to the doctors, do you need to tell me the doctor who saw you was Asian/Black/White if it’s not relevant to what you’re actually saying? Probably not.

Again, see above. This is not an analogous situation at all. I have never heard anyone talk about a mixed race doctors practice for example. That would be completely bizarre. I mean do people say 'ah, I see you work in an interracial company... your colleagues aren't all of the same racial background'

If someone ignores my race they are ignoring part of what makes me me. It’s not a conversation to have with everyone/anyone, but with a life partner, very important to me.

Same thing again. I am specifically referring to 'interracial'. It has nothing to do with ignoring race, ethnic background etc. it is the point about focusing on two people of different race or backgrounds being together that is the unusual part. Our individual family backgrounds have definitely cropped up in conversation with my partner; the thing that hasn't is that we are an interracial couple. Two seperate matters.

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Alex030222@reddit

Since we are being pedantic today…

The question was how are interracial couples viewed in the U.K. - not necessarily whether or not interracial couples are highlighted.

You are saying definitively that interracial is not a term in modern U.K. - how do you define modern U.K.? I have personally heard and used the term a lot.

You also said you think “you would be hard pressed to find many people under, say 50… who even think in those terms”, however you are now talking about the difference between noticing and highlighting. I think if someone notices, they are thinking to some degree.

Again to my point above, I don’t know who you are talking on behalf of, because I have heard conversations on mixed height relationships…

The same way I have received similar comments to OP, in the U.K.

I feel like your experience has been very different to mine, because I have also certainly heard people comment on the races of people at the doctors practice, the supermarket, and many other places…

I think the situations are certainly comparable, if we are talking about noticing race and as you say “highlighting” it too.

I personally don’t understand how you can acknowledge you are different races but not an interracial couple… but I am really happy you have each other and you are accepting of each other. Genuinely.

I actually think we are just discussing labelling so I can understand our difference of opinion tbh! I didn’t look at this thread as just a convo on the word interracial, but more about two people of different races being together.

I rest my case lol 😂

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CoffeeandaTwix@reddit

It is not pedantic, it is a qualitative difference but your response here shows that you aren't understanding the difference still.

As I said, I acknowledge that some people are short and tall and this facet of their physicality could be relevant in many circumstances and be the basis of comment or discussion. Mixed height couples almost never are.

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Alex030222@reddit

I really hope you don’t see this as a challenge to your own personal experience - it isn’t. I actually haven’t seen where you discuss your personal experiences, I only replied to your initial post. I’m glad you didn’t experience any tension from families or others.

I think my parents did to a degree… I haven’t received any overt comments re my own relationship but definitely some questionable ones.

As you said you were brought up in similar cultures so maybe less to discuss there.

Maybe interracial is an Americanism, I don’t know.

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Alex030222@reddit

Maybe my example wasn’t the best.

I found your statements a bit… hence my initial comment on interracial not always being a verbal comment but sometimes an acknowledgement of two people of different races being together - call that what you want lol. To me that’s thinking the term interracial (or a synonym for interracial). I don’t think we’d be hard pressed to find that.

I think we have had different experiences. That’s not to say the U.K. isn’t tolerant, having grown up in many places I definitely think it is. I just wouldn’t go so far as to say people don’t think in those terms. I really don’t know why we would/how we could think that people wouldn’t notice interracial relationships, and notice them as being interracial.

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Romana_Jane@reddit

I'm 58 and have degrees in politics and sociology and even did sociology papers in the 1990s on mixed race couples and never even heard the word interracial until the last 10-25 years from the internets from Americans!

Was going to say, my dad’s in his 70s and I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone in his friend group even so much as hint of “interracial couple” being a thing. It’s quite outdated, again only going off his friend group and my parents-in-law but even older folk in pretty remote, introverted villages in Wales aren’t bothered in my experience.

I guess I'm lucky enough that it never seems relevant.

I think that's the point they are making, in America you would get people looking ans judging you, where as here in the UK no body gives it a thought, which is funny as Americans actually view the UK as racist.

America is the most racist country in the world, and they make a huge deal out of race for everything. They deliberately segregate themselves and believe they are doing the right thing. Black only political groups, Latino only political groups, they segregate by race, religion, politics, wealth, education, in fact pretty much anything they can.

In Britain, we are all British.

Something something puppy born in a stable something something is it a horse?

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pwlife@reddit

I'm Latina my husband is white. The only time we get looks is when we are in very small towns. We've lived on the west coast, in bigger cities in the south and bigger cities in the midwest and people have treated us normal. Little towns tend to get weird about it, except Louisiana (no one there cared like at all).

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ImaginaryParrot@reddit

Same, no one really cares about though I tend to get a bit more random racial abuse than he does which is frustrating!

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Why don’t you go and live in Pakistan then. If you love them, you can live like them. You’ve forfeited your right to the White mans world

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mortstheonlyboyineed@reddit

I know plenty of Pakistani girls/women who were disowned or at the very least got grief from their families due to dating outside of their race. Saying that I know plenty of Greek, Italian, Arabic, Asian, Indian, etc. women who also had massive issues, again mostly from their own friends and families, for dating outside of their race too. Plus, there are plenty of those who've had no issues at all!

However, I do wonder if a lot of it is more about control over the sisters and daughters than actual racism though because the men get a lot less negativity. It's less in the last decade, but the years prior, it was almost expected to face pushback from the local communities. I actually found it worse in the larger cities over the smaller town, too.

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The_only_F@reddit

I would expect that to get a lot more stairs than Pakistani husband and White wife. Pakistani wife and White husband is a very rare combo.

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Bloody-smashing@reddit

Some places we do (Asian majority places). Not always though, it has become more common with my generation.

Middle class dating working class = “slumming it” Middle class dating middle class = “settling” Middle class dating upper class = “punching above their weight”

It’s weird!

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baldeagle1991@reddit

I'm not too sure about that.

I lived in the rural East Midlands and it caused enough gossip when an Indian family moved to the village.

At one pub one guys nickname is literally black Ben, and at another a black guy walked in and he was the first seen in there for years, so everyone just stared at him when he first walked in.

Another example was a guy in his 40's saying he would be mortified if his daughter ever dated a black guy, with another being ribbed because his daughter married a black man. Their natural conclusion was the only reason that she would marry him, was that being black, he must have a massive dick.

And this isn't even in the buttfuck middle of nowhere. It's only around 15-20 minutes away from Nottingham and Leicester.

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richardjohn@reddit

Upper class is aristocracy

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SeePerspectives@reddit

No, upper class is a financial descriptor.

Thank you

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Inside_Sentence_6116@reddit

Tbh with you, we don’t give a shit about owt

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evelynnie_@reddit

I’m mixed race and my bf is white. I don’t think anyone really looks at us weirdly tbh

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togtogtog@reddit

The only information I could find was from 2011, when 9% of people in couples in England and Wales were in an inter-ethnic relationship. I would imagine that is higher now.

I don't think most people really care. I think it varies by age, and where you are in the country. In London, more than 50% of people aren't from the UK in the first place, so it is very normal for things to be mixed, but in rural areas it is probably less mixed.

Over here, for the most part, people like to couple up with those like them.

Educational-Farmer28@reddit

Was going to add my own comment but as soon as I saw this I didn’t bother to. You said everything I had to say and way more eloquently than I could have said it, and also took the time for an edit. Kudos to you.

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Thrasy3@reddit

It’s a weird thing to just ask about. It’s probably not the same as the US at all - a bit like we had a non-white PM without much incident or comment, compared to the US.

A weird thing I’ve always gone through in workplaces is people eventually asking if I’m religious (usually a weird question in the UK - or at least England) when they see me eating a BLT or something, and I have to explain I’m not religious.

Only when they realise my wife doesn’t have an ethnic name like mine, they will also ask her religion. And then they will specifically ask if she’s English.

But that’s about it in the end.

The only time I even suspect it was an issue, was a drunk guy who seemed to be going to “intervene” when I randomly ran into my wife outside a pub. I only suspect that because as he approached us he went from looking a bit stern, to confused, then he stumbled over his words a bit, then gave a rambling speech how “this [hand gestures] is really great… you look really great together, I really like this, it’s really great” and engaged us in awkward but friendly conversation.

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Lozt_at_sea@reddit

As a British woman with an African man, together over a decade with two kids. You get the odd white men interested in me getting annoyed that I'm with a black man, black women interested in him getting annoyed that he's with a white woman or black men thinking that I must be interested in them because my partners black, white women thinking that he must be interested in them because his partners white. Racism isn't common, but it does happen by some idiot junkie or some kids in school once every blue moon. Other than those things, we are very well known and liked by the majority of people we meet. The majority of British people don't really care and are just happy to make friends from different places.

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Virtual-Guitar-9814@reddit

Interesting point to add, every tv advert now in the UK will feature a mixed race family at every opportunity. I get it that brands do research and want to appeal to certain groups who researchers told them arent interested in their brand, but it feels like an unnatural knee jerk reaction/a fad.

Hardly anyone cares. In fact a lot of people positively like it because it means immigrants are actively integrating and joining our tribe rather than living parallel but separately from us.

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willyd125@reddit

Because we don't care what colour your skin is. We just run a no dickhead policy.

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Mrtwisty76@reddit

Dunno if it’s still true, but it’s said that at one point in the 90’s or early 00’s, Derby had the highest percentage of mixed marriages in the country. My (racist, but in an English way) grandad gave away the first black lady to be married in the city in the very early 60’s. Her parents were in the Caribbean, and he was proud to do it. She went to his funeral in the 80’s and my grans in the 90’s. Really lovely lady, with some really nice things to say about my forebears.

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FreedUp2380@reddit

Big city - no one cares Small city - maybe some glances

If it's an uncommon combination (let's be honest - some combinations are more common than others) - maybe a couple of glances

Was going to say something similar. The vast majority of people don't seem to care but the only overt hostility I've seen is from black men in London.

I haven't been in an interracial relationship but I had a mixed race female friend in London that I used to visit, and me being male when we walked around together people assumed we were a couple. We had black guys kissing their teeth at us, muttering stuff under their breath, even spitting in our direction whilst staring daggers at us. From what I could tell they generally seemed to be non British born from their accents.

This was probably aroun 8-9 years ago.

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chartupdate@reddit

It still exists. I (male) have a black female other half. I don't encounter direct hostility but we get glowered at in the street by black men who clearly object to me being out of my lane 😁

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Few-Station8831@reddit

Similar view to what you have described

Once you get into the borderland of religion and pockets of xenophobic communities you’ll find plenty of issues.

If we’re talking about our OP a girl with African heritage discussing a relationship with her theoretical “English Hot boi” in the office at work it wouldn’t really register as a thing in the U.K.

Not so much if you transfer this same conversation over to US they are super fucked up on division bracketed by Race and Religion and it’s only getting worse.

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Edify7@reddit

A possibly uncomfortable truth for some is that in this instance, the more overt racism can come from individuals that are part of ethnic minority communities, rather than the white on minority racism that first comes to mind.

The biggest interracial relationship group in the UK is black Men and white woman. That is by far the most likely you will see.

Next is white men and South Asian Woman. It's all very normal.

Interracial is not a phrase used in British English either, it never has. Sociologists etc might say mixed or mixed race, but otherwise, it's just a couple.

Here we are about citizenship not some long distance ethnic background too, people of all colours and backgrounds are British if born here/naturalised citizen. We don't do that x-American thing as x-British. Obviously for some reasons, for data gathering, to monitor any potential institutional racism (which is a problem, but one we are trying to tackle and change for the most part - two steps forward, one step back a lot of the time sadly), we collect stats. But again, for most ordinary people, people are people. There are of course, a few toxic racists out there, loud on the internet, passive aggressive and unpleasant in real life.

I first starting dating my husband in 1990, and I have experienced 4 instances of racism from white people in all that time (much more from the British Pakistani community sadly, most stares, tuts, and rude questions). I've had more Islamophobia as a hijabi from white people, especially since 2001, but again, less that 5 incidents, just 2 violent and frightening sadly, than racism when with him. (I've actually experienced far more threatening and violent ableism as a wheelchair user, which maybe says something different about the UK).

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UnknownTerrorUK@reddit

Where I live no-one would notice or care, but it's rare to see. Part of me thinks it's rare to see because no-one really cares. We aren't walking down the street analyzing every pairing of people in the first place.

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MountainMuffin1980@reddit

aden4you123342321323@reddit

Yeah this is a bit of a werid question. We don’t care lol

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Soggy_Detective_4737@reddit

It's been maybe 40 years since it was occasionally commented on. Nowadays, it's just something that you can see in most places.

There are still pockets of communities where it's predominantly one ethnicity, so it would be unusual to see an interracial couple, and there are areas that are against interfaith and interracial partnerships.

I'm all for people loving who they love.

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Bucketlyy@reddit

Perhaps it's just my area but I'm gonna have to say, from my experience, negatively.

It's pretty normal in cities and larger towns. As a nation, it's pretty normal. However, in some more rural areas, there just aren't people of different races. My daughter's primary class (60 kids) had ONE black kid, everyone else is white. They get super uncomfortable trying to describe him (oh you know, Ethan, the boy with black hair and dark eyes) which is funny to watch.

But yeah, on the whole it is pretty normal.

If anything, it is the non whites that want to preserve their own culture and stop their kids dating white partners. Personally, I had a sikh Indian girlfriend, which my mother was fine with. However, my GFs father told me he'd cut my head off and bury me if I didn't stop going out with his daughter. So sometimes it isn't just the whites that are dicks.

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Electrical-Horse-698@reddit

I find this a bit weird wouldn't occur to me to question it or consider it a topic. I think the term interracial is weird ... Never quite understood why yanks use the term "African American" as well, sounds like another term to segregate people... They are American like everyone else. (My turn to maybe ask an ignorant question sorry)

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Some-Ad-3938@reddit

No one cares. Just your weirdo country that has issues.

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Rykka@reddit

I feel like Americans are obsessed with labeling themselves or being part of a group. Would never bat an eyelid to this.

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quoole@reddit

America still has problems for sure, but recently we (an interracial couple) traveled across Ohio, Pennsylvania and NY and there wasn't really anything that either of us classed as racism - no weird comments, no funny looks and we even visited some very rural parts of Ohio. We didn't talk to any police or anything like that though!

one guy we talked to thought that we spoke French in England

Melodic_Ad_3895@reddit

For the most part people don't care unless your a white guy with an Asian (Pakistani, Indian or bangaledeshi) women then there is a big cha ve your life will be on the line. Not always but more likely than in any other scenario.

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xthrowawayaccxx@reddit

Genuinely the most normal thing. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone talking about interracial relationships

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Excellent-Mango-3977@reddit

My girlfriend is black, myself white. Never really had an issue with it, to be honest. The UK is more accepting than people give us credit for.

Most people don't care enough to make comments or give mucky looks etc, everyone just gets on with their day. I've had comments by friends, but only tongue and cheek, nothing meant to be hurtful.

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Rob1965@reddit

As others have said, it’s totally normal here in the UK.

I realised things were different when my wife and I first went to the states: We were just walking along, holding hands, minding our own business (she’s black & I’m white) and a (white) woman randomly says to me as she walks by “you should be ashamed of yourself”.

It first I was confused and didn’t quite understand what had happened. (I even thought maybe she was talking to someone else but just happened to look at me.)

Of course my wife, who has more experience of racism than me, realised straight away that the woman was racist.

Honestly can't argue with you... Not even in the slightest. I grew up in the 80s with a Jamaican best friend, heading off to Southall for weekend curry breakfasts as a teenager, my first girlfriend was Jewish and my second Pakistani... Nobody honestly battered an eyelid.

I had such a rich childhood, culturally, it's almost a shame some people don't.

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throwaway480848@reddit

I get what the other person is saying but their wording is a bit wrong. London is considered a part of the UK/British like everywhere else, as much as we love to throw shade at Londoners. However cities are more multicultural in general, London moreso than any other place. It is definitely not representative of the UK as a whole.

I'm not playing the victim card, but just talking from personal experience; as a mixed person who is now in their 20s and grew up in a more rural-ish town I did experience racism. Although it has an aging population so at the same time it doesn't surprise me.

Personally nowadays, I almost never experience it. Of course it exists, but if on the rare occasion someone acts that way in 2024 I just dismiss them as a nutcase and go about my day.

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kimsala@reddit

Been in several interracial relationship and it's never really been commented on. That's only ever happened in the States to be honest.

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Miserable_History238@reddit

An interracial couple involving a black person of Afro Caribbean descent in the UK is very common. Caribbean descended people may even disappear from the uk in future in favour of their interracial kids.

This is so interesting because I have the opposite experience 😅 I grew up in a very diverse suburban area of the Pacific Northwest but now live in a racially homogenous bit of NW England.

Tons of my friends at school had mixed race parents, but where I live now it’s mostly white British people and non-white immigrants who’ve come to the UK with their partners.

I think older people here might think mixed race relationships are a bit unusual but I don’t think it would be an issue like it is in rural (more racist) US communities.

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fudgermucker@reddit

I know English and Welsh couple

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angemental@reddit

as a black woman in the uk, dating outside my race is actually easier than other black men

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ukheather@reddit

No one cares here.

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Trick_Barracuda_9895@reddit

Totally normal. You'd have to go to some pretty backwards areas to even get a glance.

How are interracial couples viewed in the UK?

Nobody cares. We all get on brilliantly.

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uujjuu@reddit

I've scrolled a little way down and not seen anyone mention the differing historical backgrounds of the countries, which blows my mind. Britain was a colonial empire that subsumed subjects from regions across the globe into its own identity.

ooh_bit_of_bush@reddit

Please tell me that you used the "Jamaica?" - "No, she did it of her own accord" joke at every opportunity.

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meisobear@reddit

Not original commenter, but nearly 10 years in a similar relationship and, devastatingly, not once has this joke had an opportunity to be brought out :-(

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Expensive-Twist8865@reddit

I usually go for "you're Jamaican me crazy", but make sure they're in a joking mood first...

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darkzim69@reddit

I'm a white male and I've been married to a lady from S E Asia for about 20 years

I used to get the odd person saying to me "she's only with you for the visa" but as people got to know her she is just part of the town now , and we don't even get looked at

We live in a rural town in wales I think when she first came here their was only 2 people who where non white both from SE Asia but over time it might be close to 50 now we've had a kebab shop open and two Indian takeaway I imagine they have families ectra and a few more from other places

I think people here just look at new people more to protect themselves but its not a race thing its more a who are these new people in town, why are they here, maybe I should keep a eye on them

but no one really cares who your partner is or what race they are , they also don't care about your religion

they really just don't care.

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Precipiceofasneeze@reddit

As a man who happens to be white, married to a woman who happens to be brown, most people don't give a shit.

We get occasional stares, sometimes people ask questions (well-meaning ones usually).

I find the only time anyone has an 'issue', it's invariably men of South Asian ethnicities.

Racism occurs everywhere between all kinds of communities. It's usually the ones who scream about being racially stereotyped/abused/judged that do the most stereotyping/abusing/judging.

That's only mi limited, anecdotal experience though.

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DozzleWozzle@reddit

It's statistically likely their children will appear in an advert

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SaluteTheSanguine@reddit

Never paid attention lol They are viewed simply as couples I guess.

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skipskedaddle@reddit

https://youtu.be/Mwn9p_K67Hw?si=nIU_KoYgHEvzAVvZ

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Historical-Egg1640@reddit

I also noticed as well when I first came to the UK 3 years ago, coming from South Africa where interracial couples are not a thing

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stirianix@reddit

Nobody bats an eyelid.

Depends what culture you're positioned in though. I live in Birmingham and there are definitely communities that wouldn't mix.

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Big_Poppa_T@reddit

We don’t care

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Calibigirl69@reddit

We are a very diverse nation, and now for the most part very accepting.

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DoctorMobius21@reddit

As others have said, no one really cares anymore. I certainly don’t. I’m a white male and I once dated a black woman for a bit. The only hostility I received was from her dad. Other than that, no one else cared.

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Llaethenor@reddit

I would assume this has something to do with the proportions of race groups and different but linked histories of racism in the UK and the USA.

I am just remembering, but I believe the UK is 10-15% non-white, whereas in America it is something like 30-35% African-American alone, nevermind other minorities. This means there would be more opportunity to have a partner of one's own race - especially in a segregated country like the US.

Moreover, a lot of non-white immigration in the UK at least has been after the Second World War, whereas there has been racial segregation between white and black people in the USA since the first slaves were forced over. The populations are very different in that regard.

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No_Pineapple9166@reddit

We’re not generally into all that identity stuff. Love who you love. Hardly anyone cares.

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happybaby00@reddit

Ask a white man if he would date a white woman with a black ex or if they would stay with their white girlfriend who have dated black in the past, vast majority are saying no lol.

In the past, I’ve found people of all ethnicities attractive. I’m a white guy and I’ve dated other ethnicities, it’s not a big deal.

Me and friends/past partners might make the occasional joke about one another’s cultural background but nothing prejudiced and no racial slurs etc. I think for anyone <40 years old it’s no biggie.

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hoochiscrazy_@reddit

Normal?

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Alert_Ad_5750@reddit

Nobody cares here, race doesn’t even come in to anybody’s mind. People from all backgrounds just go about their day.

Nobody cares here mate, who your partner is, that's your business.

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Nerry19@reddit

I mean i can only speak from my point of view, I'm sure people have vastly worse experiences....but no one has ever seemed even slightly bothered, or even mentioned it. I had a few people comment about his heritage/name etc in general but never anything relating to us being a couple.

I think you misunderstand how little we care when it comes to matters such as this.

Questioning it is odd.

It perfectly normal.

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xeprone1@reddit

As soon as I read the title I thought it’s gotta be an American. Nobody cares

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Labionda20@reddit

I think it really depends where you are. I live in London and my husband is mixed race, no issues. I have to say we live in an area that used to have a very dense Eastern European population and they have been the only people that have ever stared at us. This still happens on public transport with Eastern European tradesmen specifically. Outside of London we have had some strange looks in places like Kent, coastal towns etc.

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Dirty2013@reddit

Nobody really give a shit

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Altruistic_Act_7883@reddit

They aren’t because there are none.

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Zeratul_Artanis@reddit

I don't know a white guy who hasn't dated someone from another race.

The only issue I've heard of is cultural blocks from dating, which happens irrespective of race.

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One thing you’ll learn about us, we couldn’t give a shit about who is in a relationship with who, but, we do really like correcting Americans.

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Federal-Breakfast762@reddit (OP)

That last part I definitely know, lol. It’s all good though. Saying “We’ve got a lot of problems here” in the States is an understatement, unfortunately. I have nothing but love for ya’ll across the pond though. I miss my time over there 😔

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IssueMoist550@reddit

An absolute non issue.....

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ThrwAwayAdvicePlease@reddit

It's weird to even ask, no one cares over here, why would they?

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B0bbaDobba@reddit

Interacial couple nod is a thing no matter how “normal it is”

I think you’re right. Race is none of anyone’s business nowadays. Inter-ethnic maybe because that has more to do with cultural identity and experience.

I am biracial. When I think about that, kind of sounds like the people who invented the term were a bit obsessed with keeping tabs on what race you were. It’s got a “one drop rule” ring to it.

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crawenn@reddit

They're not viewed at all, it's entirely their business who they're sharing a bed with

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AstraofCaerbannog@reddit

It’s not something I’ve ever really thought about being strange, which is probably due to my growing up in the UK.

Some of it may be partially because we have a very low black population here (like 1% or something), so kids/grandkids from the windrush generation are often pretty well integrated into “white” society, so obviously they’re friends with and date white people. While there is racism here, it’s socially considered very poor form, so there’s less stigma around mixing. I would say a lot of white people seem pretty keen to have a black friend just to not feel racist (take what you will of that).

When you look at communities who have a large population of a cultural minority in one area you tend to see a lot less mixed raced couples and more division between groups. People tend to gravitate towards familiarity, and it can be hard to integrate into a new culture, so that’s probably more similar to what people see in the USA.

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DueAcanthocephala329@reddit

Meghan Markle that’s all you need to know about interracial couples.

Depends where abouts you are. Its quite rare here out in rural areas surrounding London. There are also certain stereotypes associated with it too, for example a black man will only go for a white woman if she has a big bum, and when you see it you nod to yourself like some kind of well informed sage.

I'm enlightened enough that I don't really care, I got bigger fish to fry than caring about who's with who, but its still rare enough to draw my attention if I'm zombie-ying my way down a high street.

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Vivid_Way_1125@reddit

No one cares about this stuff here

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ButterflySamosa@reddit

As a British Pakistani girl/another minority girl just trying to survive:

There are a lot of white British people in these comments, who have never experienced racism in their entire lives, who are going to tell you that it's no issue, and the UK is all sunshine and rainbows and oh so much better than America. They're fucking lying. That's all I have to say :)

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Vaudane@reddit

With suspicion.

Just like same race couples.

Or homosexual couples.

Or straight couples.

Or singles.

Depends where you're from honestly.

It's taboo to say anything, but behind closed doors some people likely will. Same as anywhere.

To be honest, the people I've met who were most against any interracial mixing have typically been first generation Asians.

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Tski247@reddit

You like who you like, it is what it is.🤷🏾‍♂️

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Kat8844@reddit

It’s normal and not something people tend to notice or have an opinion on much.

Technically I suppose I’m part of an interracial couple,although we are both white so not sure if you could count it as one-I’m British and she’s Russian, it’s never something I’ve given any thought to and have never had it mentioned, thankfully people mentioning or commenting on us being a lesbian couple is very rare too.

Personally I always love when couples are diverse looking. I think people are interesting to look at though. I've never heard anyone bothering about their race. I'm from Scotland and they seem to be more bothered if they're Catholic or not 🙄

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szcesTHRPS@reddit

Most people I know aren't racists so wouldn't care but we have our problems with racism and racists just like every other country.

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MerlinMusic@reddit

Theo_Cherry@reddit

Who's "we?"

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yellowredpink@reddit

the uk

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OgreOfTheMind@reddit

The UK. The subreddit should give it away.

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_MicroWave_@reddit

Literally half the national football (soccer) team is mixed race. No one bats an eye.

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Secretlyablackcat@reddit

It's quite normal, I'm English and married a Scot!!

Completely normal, saying interacial couple itself would be weird.

They're just a couple.

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Gold-Environment2071@reddit

We don’t really care

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Gold-Environment2071@reddit

In the nicest way possible

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louna312@reddit

I am French and just saw this post so I would like to add that in France, the notion of race is really controversial. We all know about ethnicity and stuff, but race is not a notion accepted, bc it is seen as racist (throw back to slavery/WW2 when there were talk of a '''better/lesser race''').

Yeah it’s not really an issue here. I’m white and my partner is black, occasionally I’ve had slightly weird comments from older people, but usually well-intentioned and just not quite landed right (e.g. speculating about the colour of our children).

Completely normal and not something we even think about.

It's only today that most of the UK has realized just how much racism half of the US forces the other half to put up with.

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Xenaspice2002@reddit

It’s so normal that when ER had an interracial couple and that caused drama I had to ask my US friends why it was an issue in the first place.

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Meincornwall@reddit

My parents told me (white male) to not date black girls.

Although they thought it was fine, the other people didn't accept it.

I got a bollocking for pointing out "But aren't you the other people's other people when you say that?"

Interestingly, many many years later, my father compulsively stared at my black fiancée's tits at every opportunity.

So he didn't discriminate with boobs, I guess.

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jjtnc@reddit

Its a bit wierd to even acknowledge it, my mum and her partner and my dad and his partner are. Lots of people i know are but never think anything of it.

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marshallandy83@reddit

There are a few interracial couples in my wider friendship group, but now I'm thinking about it, they tend to be more one white person and one mixed-race (white and another race).

I can't speak for any discrimination my friends have experienced, but it seems to be completely normalised here.

oddly, sometimes strangers say things like ‘what a beautiful couple you are’ (which feels like a nice compliment) but definitely feels like it’s centred around being an interracial couple. I’ve never had that when dating people of my own race!

I know exactly what you mean. It's like nails down a blackboard, it just hits something and feels so very wrong.

There is also frankly quite big difference between different groups. I've known friends who have run into the South Asians 'family expectations'. I've known a few black girls who have a serious beef with black guys dating non-black women (never the other way round). These aren't older generations either.

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moriartyinasuit@reddit

This is I feel the most sensible response. I think the comments about “no-one cares” are perhaps overlooking some of these more subtle microaggressions. No-one may say anything explicit (and they may not even mean their comments maliciously), but I think it certainly can be “noticed” in a way that non-interracial couples are not.

And as part of this, I certainly think there is a tendency to generalise on people’s interests, particularly (?) when it comes to saying someone black is attractive. For me, I’ve just noticed that, for example, in response to a sibling saying of a black guy “Oh he was hot” and me humming agreeable, said sibling immediately responded “Oh, so you like black guys?” As if this is the first person I’ve ever shown an interest in and the fact that I indicated one black guy is attractive means I’m “into” black guys?? Similarly, one friend stating that he’s noticed I’m “into black guys” when I’m like… on what evidence??? I’m no more into them than any other race…

But mentioning finding someone black attractive seems to stick more in someone’s mind than any other race ¯_(ツ)_/¯

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VoidThing@reddit

Agree, the reminders are subtle but they are there. I think “no one cares” = “no one consciously cares” but unconscious bias does slip out.

White woman married to an East Asian man in London, and we have it pretty easy, but have the opposite issue — people treating us as not-a-couple, which does grate sometimes. It’s too often to be a coincidence in my eyes.

We exhibit the normal amount of pda and are well matched (neither is “punching”) but still have had well-intentioned dudes on the Tube warning me that “that guy just took your iPad out of your bag” (it’s his iPad, his pockets are too small so it’s in my bag) and have showed up to couple-centric group activities for weeks and be the only ones to be introduced as “X and her friend Y.” In the greater scheme of things it’s not a big deal, obvs I much prefer this over overt or violent racism but it’s not nothing.

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According_Sundae_917@reddit

Agree, the no one cares comments may be slightly naive. Most don’t care. But Some people care a bit, very few will say so publicly

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d3gu@reddit

The question about whether you liked 'white boys' seems to strange to me. Surely attractiveness transcends race/skin colour? As a white woman, I don't look at Idris Elba and think 'he's hot for a black guy', I just think 'he's hot'.

Greasy_Piglet@reddit

If you watch a British TV advert break you'll see that all relationships are interracial in this country now.

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trustmeimabuilder@reddit

My girlfriend is from the other village, we've been shunned.

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Colonel_Khazlik@reddit

I'm a white dude, Caribbean partner.

No problems for us, I imagine there might be some places that there's some issues but I can't see it.

A lot of very white areas don't have the racial issues you'd see in similar environments in the US, if you've never had black folks around, it's hard to generate hatred.

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--iCantThinkOFaName-@reddit

Seen as pretty normal generally.

Depends where you go - but 90% of the time no one will bat an eyelid

Most cities or progressive large towns - very normal

Small ‘white’ towns or rural areas, with little diversity may raise eyebrows… but in true English style no one is going to say anything lol

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Prestigious_Bell3720@reddit

Its normal here, a few of my classmates are dating interracially and I was born from an interracial marriage too

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apainintheokole@reddit

In general it is normal - however, there is a lot of backlash in certain parts of society. For example, we have a lot of first-generation Indians and Pakistanis who are very traditional when compared to their children and grandchildren who have grown up in the UK. They often are still of the mindset that their children should marry into the same nationality as them - i.e. say they were from India, then their daughter should marry an Indian boy.

Their children often think differently and it does cause a bit of strife in those families and communities. It has even resulted in a bit of violence generally against the daughters as they are often considered to have disgraced the family. Many young people from these nationalities find they have to hide their relationships from their families.

springsomnia@reddit

Nobody really cares much. In more rural areas you tend to still get racists but even there, interracial couples aren’t an issue and it will be absurd to ask someone in the UK this question!

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MrR0undabout@reddit

Generally I agree with most of the comments here that indifference is basically the default in this regards.

But tbh, I have experienced issues with dating someone of another race. Members of her community were actively hostile to me, got threatened with violence once. Her mum was lovely and accepting as were her brothers. Her dad (seperated from mum and lived apart) told me he is going to get her cousins and some mates to beat me up unless we broke up.

That said I feel this may have been more to religion than ethnicity.

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Wetsock96@reddit

Having one white and one black parent is something I’ve never thought of. I think the fact that you asked this question is strange, it’s not like one’s human and the other isn’t.

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Weird_Object8752@reddit

We’re not racists like some folks stateside lass

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RichMagazine2713@reddit

Nobody cares

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Appropriate-Divide64@reddit

No one gives a shit. My wife is Asian and the only people who bring it up are... Let's just say weird guys with Asian wives, who want to talk to you about their Asian wife.

In the past I've dated black and Indian girls in the past, no one cares or bothers you. The Indian community can be a little odd, often they prefer the women to date other Indians, but if you're respectful they don't care too much. Although I have had comments along the lines of "at least she's not dating a black guy, or worse, a Muslim".

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West_Degree9730@reddit

No one really care .

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whiskeydumplings@reddit

I would be interested to know how many commenters are speaking from experience. From mine as a white woman married to a black man, and with a mixed race child, it noticeably makes some people feel uncomfortable. We get stared at, have occasionally been made to feel very unwelcome at places, I’ve been asked what’s wrong with white men etc.

My parents have always been very supportive of me dating whoever I want, whenever they are from, and have welcomed my husband with open arms from the starts. My husband’s family were the opposite, they wanted him to marry someone from their country and it was a big struggle for them to accept me. But we got there in the end.

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Leking9@reddit

Pretty common over here. Some people like a bit of milk and that’s ok (unless you’re Dr Umar)

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The_JimJam@reddit

Not a dumb question at all

Everyone will have different experiences, however I feel most won't bat an eye at an interracial couple here.

At least in my experience so far, its never come up as a talking point about a couple, let alone an issue

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tillie_jayne@reddit

I’m mixed race and I’m also in a mixed relationship. Nobody gives a shit or has even given me grief but I’m from a city in the Midlands that’s pretty much a melting pot (not Birmingham)

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PM_ME_UR_VULVASAUR_@reddit

I'm a white British guy but I lived in America for 2 years. I've dated black women in both countries and the only place I experienced any form of racism towards being an interracial couple was in the US. We were walking through Philly and a group of African American guys were congregating around a doorstep and a few of them started to shout random obscenities at us. The one I remember specifically was along the lines of "When you're done with tiny ass white dick come back here". There was also looks we would get, not all the time, but enough to notice. It wasn't the kind of "eww" look but more a "huh, that's odd".

Meanwhile, in the UK, never experienced any racism for being an interracial couple.

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MD564@reddit

I find it funny that some POC will say that the UK is just as bad as America but I've never been ostracised in the UK for dating or sleeping with guys who weren't white, but I definitely did when I went to uni in America and that was near Chicago, a place I considered pretty diverse. I never even heard people use the N word in person before that point.

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The problem is with Americans.

I’m white English and my wife is Sri Lankan Tamil. We don’t usually face any problems, most people in the UK (and Canada) don’t have a problem with us, they think it’s normal.

We went to New York for new year a few years ago. A lot of people didn’t want to talk to us. Some people abused us. A few came up to us and congratulated us on “being diverse”.

The fact that they even commented on it was a surprise. It seems that the only people who have an issue with it are Americans.

We’ve been to over 30 countries and this was the only one where they didn’t accept us as being normal.

Having said that, my wife has faced some racism, but far less in any other country than the US.

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Sea-Metal76@reddit

The sooner we get on and get fully homogenised, the better.

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SlothsNeverGetIll@reddit

Most people don't give a shit.

tangledseaweed@reddit

Shit actually my primary school best friend's parents were from the same country but were Hindu and Muslim, that's a real mixed marriage 😂

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A_britiot_abroad@reddit

I was in an interracial relationship/marriage for 4 years.

Lived in cities and small towns.

Never noticed anything towards us said or unsaid.

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Stabwank@reddit

It's generally not an issue, most people would not care.

“How common”

You live in a big city or something? If you’re visited london, London cannot represent rest of Uk whatsoever.

Go rural and you’ll see very different things. Smaller town/city the less diverse it is.

I know a white guy with a black girl got flame from his white Co-workers for married to a black girl.

I also know a white girl dating an Asian guy got second hand racism.

Go figure.

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pineappleshampoo@reddit

This thread: 700 white people saying it isn’t even noticed and nobody cares and racism towards interracial couples doesn’t exist. Jesus Christ I thought we had come further than this.

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Vozsco@reddit

If it's normative, i.e. a two British people, then the only people who have an issue are abject racists of which we have a lot of.
If it's something a little bit more unusual, i.e. a person of colour dating a white immigrant, then it gets a little funky with people remarking how they didn't expect it, assuming I'm (I'm brown) the immigrant or just remarks like that.

I really disagree with the rosy view of most of the comments on this thread, there are definitely a lot of racists in the UK who are opposed to interracial couples and specific racial matchings are "weirder" to the average British person than others, i.e. White and East Asian would not get a second look but White and South Asian and people start making visa comments or just start being racist. Maybe that's more to do with racism against those groups than it is with interracial couples generally though

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Prestigious_Gap_4025@reddit

I've never had any issues, I'm white and my wife is Sri Lankan.

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jenny_quest@reddit

As half of an interracial couple, it's very normal - I'd say about half of my friends are in an interracial relationship. The joke is that we're really uptight and backwards about class rather than race -and I think most of my friends and people I know are dating from within their 'class'.

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Potato-starch-eater@reddit

I live in London and it's so very ordinary to see interracial couples and have them in your social circle. I would go so far as to say that it's viewed as commendable in my son's school because the child gets the benefit of two cultures and sometimes, two languages. Absolutely no one makes it their business to find out what is wrong with one of them to have settled for a partner from a different (something I personally witnessed while living in the United States for a few years).

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xrhades@reddit

It depends, you'll get a lot of people on here say to you that nobody cares etc etc and for the most part that is true, however where you are from plays part.

In an interracial relationship, majority of the time it would be a black man with white woman.

I am a white male with a black woman, in an area where it's not considered the norm when you think about an interracial couple (we are starting to see more couples our way round though). We do get looks sometimes, we've had a couple of comments in our time, BUT for the most part it's never been an issue.

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Relative_Sea3386@reddit

Does this not depend exactly where you are comparing? US is huge. Big city vs village etc.

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thedarknewt74@reddit

What a weird question. How are 2 people in love supposed to be viewed?

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Boomshrooom@reddit

How are they viewed? Normally on pornhub

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Cusinn@reddit

I am white and married to a “woman of colour” (though she would roll her eyes at such a term) and I am - shudder cringe - the father to a “child of colour”…

White man with a black wife; the only people who've ever reacted negatively have been black American men. In a shop in Auckland a black American man said "come on baby don't sell us out" as if my British-african wife owes anything to an American man.

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EyesFor1@reddit

No one cares

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Key-Moments@reddit

The significant majority of TV adverts showing families tend to show interracial couples and their joint children, or blended interracial families, with their step kids all living harmoniously.

It's not a thing to think about.

There was a poster above talking about the English / Welsh mix. Get more stick for that I think.

This is my perception and experience.

However, I have quite a few contemporaneous age-wise brown friends. Their parents and older family members are much more against it, but that appears to be (when it's been discussed) more an inter-religeon concern. But I could be wrong.

Racism is sort of different here than the US.

Sure, there are a lot of similarities, nobody would deny that... But the differences are subtle enough that if I saw an interracial couple it's not even that I wouldn't take a second look, it just wouldn't even come to mind to question it.

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Stereo_bfs@reddit

Even in TV commercials, there are no same race couples, only mixed race.

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MemoryIndividual@reddit

This is such a weird question. I’m a black girl in a relationship with a white man. Literally nobody cares and I’ve only had foreigners comment on it.

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KingJacoPax@reddit

It can be pretty black and white.

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qgwheurbwb1i@reddit

It's extremely normal.

As long as the person looking at the couple is not over....maybe 60 years old? Then no one would comment on it. People like my grandparents (in their 80s) would probably be the only type of people to say something. One of my dads ex girlfriends was black, and even though my grandparents would HAVE to say her skin colour when talking about her, they never said anything negative about their relationship or about her. If was just like "my son's girlfriend - she's a black lady - was just saying the other day..." I think the overwhelming majority of us just do not care about skin colour. We are, and have been for a while, a multicultural and diverse country, and many of us grew up with friends of all cultures and religions and skin colours.

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neenoonee@reddit

It’s hard for the majority of Americans to understand how little we care about race as a majority in this country.

I’d say the only people who’d pass comment of my husband were a different race to me would be my Auntie in her late 70’s who was brought up in Ireland during the Troubles and so probably didn’t see anyone who wasn’t white and Irish/British till she moved to Liverpool aged 20 and my 99 year old Grandmother (my Gran would comment, but not in an intentionally negative way).

We are more likely to notice if one of the couple is foreign (eg American), though it depends strongly on the area, social class, and age of the person. Reddit is biased young, left, and city-based so is not entirely representative.

“Race” isn’t perceived in quite the same way as in the USA: there’s no single “African-British” category, but we would tend to describe someone as “West Indian”, or “Nigerian” - ie where they (not their parents) are born. “Chinese” on the other hand covers people from mainland China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, and often nth generation immigrants from other countries. Race tends to be in the same category as country of origin - hence “American” is a division broadly similar to “Indian” rather than being a different categorisation.

As far as marriages go, in some countries (Scotland, Northern Ireland), a “mixed marriage” refers to religion (Protestant/Catholic). There’s an old joke: what’s the definition of a mixed marriage in the Highlands? She was Presbyterian and he was “Sunday opening”. It may lose a little in the translation.

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lebannax@reddit

It’s because British people don’t obsess about race all the time like Americans do lol

We care so little we don’t even say ‘inter racial couple’ - it’s just a couple

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SnooHamsters5480@reddit

I’m in a mixed race marriage and not one person has ever made a comment about it. It’s becoming much more normalized, there are many mixed race children in my daughters class at school so it’s quite unremarkable,

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Zyfron@reddit

Same here - from the UK side I've never had anything said other than compliments on my partner although when we've visited her home country (Poland) there have been comments about how the British guys are "stealing all our good women".

Now that I come to think of it, most of my British friends are also in relationships with non British partners of some sort. I've never really given it much notice before at all as it's never really been a thing? At least where I'm from.

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bad like anywhere on earth because it usually ends bad

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Piptoporus@reddit

Most Brits don't care who you are in a relationship with. Know why? Because our stereotype is that we don't like anyone. All happy couples are viewed with the same level of contempt if they display their happiness publicly.

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ConsiderablyMediocre@reddit

A small minority of elderly people (from all backgrounds) might get funny about it. I briefly dated a girl of Indian background for a few months not too long ago. Her grandparents and my (white) grandparents were a bit funny about it, but nobody our age nor our parents could give less of a shit. Basically Gen X and younger, you'll be hard pressed to find anybody who even looks twice at an interracial couple.

Racism is very much real and alive in the UK, but it's much more subtle and more focused than in other countries. Our flavour of racism tends to be more institutionalised (systems and institutions quietly discriminating against minorities) rather than surface level and obvious (people yelling at interracial couples on the street).

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H16HP01N7@reddit

What a weird question...

Why do you think we care about other people's relationships like that? You Americans are so obsessed by skin colour.

Love who you love. I don't care what race, gender, sexuality, whatever.

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Past_Market2763@reddit

Black and white, night and Day, every other mix come what May x

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SuperrVillain85@reddit

My experience (I'm brown my wife is white) it depends where you go.

By and large people don't bat and eyelid.

It's just normal, but that's not to say we don't experience racism still, I personally only see personalities in people as I grew up with people from other countries/races from the word go, it was always very normal for me to be going to Pakistani kids houses and eating curry and playing cricket, and black kids houses after school a having kettle drum bbqs listening to reggae and watching some rock the steel drums in the summer in the garden... My cousin is white and is a steel drum musician for example.

So whilst I most certainly have a type, I've most definitely come across that type in pretty much every race imagineable and I'd say that's the same for most white or native brit.

Im not sure it would be considered interracial. But I've been with a Polish Woman for 13 years people are just people and I personally love that we have a choice....... Variety is the spice of life as they say!

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LightPitiful@reddit

Hmm depends ! I would say it’s varied. It’s not a big deal here but tbh I don’t have many interracial couple friends despite having a very diverse group (I’m East African.) Some of my friends were surprised that I ended up in an interracial relationship but tbh people in my culture are only now starting to date outside of it.

The only time anyone has made a comment has been older men in dingy pubs saying things like "I ain't got a problem with you two being together, mind. Don't worry about that, mate." Or saying stuff like, "my nephew's with a black girl, so don't worry about it." I wasn't.

The most bizarre one was an older white guy saying this sort of thing to both of us together, while me and him were pretty much the only white people in the entire pub. Like, they're about to give us a cup of pepper soup, and you can get curry goat with rice and peas from the bar when the kitchen's open, I don’t think it matters in here, you strange old man.

Otherwise, no one cares. We used to go on holiday to Spain and get stared at open-mouthed by Russian tourists on the Costa Blanca, but even that experience has changed over the past decade and a half.

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charlotterose23@reddit

I've lived in places where it's predominantly white people and places which seem to have every ethnicity under the sun and I greatly prefer the latter. I love seeing a mix of people and I don't blink an eye at seeing interracial couples. I have more of an issue with people trying to dictate who someone can or can't love just.

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Evening-Web-3038@reddit

I think it depends on where you are referring to, but generally in either a leafy village or a large city you'll find next to no racism etc if you are an interracial couple. More so in the more affluent areas.

The main areas where I suspect you might occasionally get grief are;

Really secluded areas. Think some "village" in Wales which comprises of 5 houses (one being a pub as well) and 1 shop. If they have 1 or 2 knuckledragging families then you'll get shit.
Really bad council estates with knuckle draggers who don't have one braincell between them.
Ethnic regions of cities, where the population is like 80% muslim etc. I wouldn't feel comfortable, as a white person, dating someone from that background and walking around together in the area.

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Valuable_Belt_4387@reddit

it’s wayyyy more common than you would think

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AdmirableCost5692@reddit

it's completely normal.

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Opening_Major9389@reddit

Hi, online. You are definitely overestimating the diversity tolerance in the UK.

(((interracial couples)))

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rocketchef@reddit

In Europe (in general), people don't attribute quite so much of their identity to race and heritage.

For example (based on my experience), in the US, someone of Irish origin will say "I'm Irish". Someone in the UK of Irish heritage would *never* say that.

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Gilldadab@reddit

It's so normal that even reading the question was strange to me.

If people have strong opinions about mixed-race couples they’re in the minority and normally viewed as an outdated viewpoint.

I’ve been in a mixed-race relationship for almost 25 years, and it’s not an issue at all. My wife has some strong opinions about mixed-race couples, but that’s only because she likes to see it.

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The_39th_Step@reddit

I’m in a mixed relationship myself. The UK is an outlier even in Europe. We are far more likely to be in mixed relationships and identify as mixed race. Caribbean people here are more likely to be in a relationship with a white British person than another Caribbean person. It’s something we should celebrate. I remember reading something like 10% of relationships in the UK are interracial and I think it’s lovely.

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Mr-_-Steve@reddit

The same way as any couple.. The majority wouldn't even give it a passing thought as its not worth the time of day thinking about.

Obviously you will get those few that would have an opinion but you'll get that anywhere we have such a culturally diverse population that its gonna happen, Maybe the main people who do have issues are ones closely tied to the actual couple in the interracial/sex/species relation such as family or friends.

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juss100@reddit

In London nobody would bat an eyelid. I'm not sure what the reaction would be in the provinces ... specifically being a couple I suspect nobody would care, but racist people still gonna racist.

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Equivalent-Floor-231@reddit

I like in a mostly Rural county. Even here no one cares. The only people who would care would be some minorities. Like an Indian family might want their child to marry another Indian. General society does not care.

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No-Preparation-4632@reddit

Put it this way; we don't refer to them as interracial couples

The entire term just sounds racist and just using that term would probably make people feel uncomfortable. It would be weird to point it out and people would just assume you're about to say something racist. It's very much on par with "I'm not racist, but..."

It would just be a normal couple here; it doesn't stand out as anything different or special, nor do I hear people refer to themselves or others as being an "interracial couple". They will say things like my partner is from x country.

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Gecko5991@reddit

I've never heard of interracial outside of Americans and American porn.

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TsavoTsavo@reddit

Lot of white people responses in the comments, you will get a few dirty looks and maybe the odd disapproving nod. But 99% of people are fine with it.

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Hour_Tour@reddit

Just as any other couple.

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-Free-Soul-@reddit

People barely even notice it here and definitely wouldnt judge you for it (in London anyway). I am a white male and all of my LTRs have been with black or mixed race females, same with my sisters. However some ethnic combinations are still quite rare in the UK, mainly down to cultural or religious beliefs and those may receive more scrutiny from the general public.

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Silver-Appointment77@reddit

Racism isnt as bad here as America. Ive always found America to be weird about a black person married to a white as if it wasnt allowed, or dirty. Frown on sort of thing

Over here we just find someone good looking and go for it. Regardless of colour or race. If theyre hot grab their number if theyre injterested. Some people will stilll find it weird, but not the way Americans do.

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FriendlyGoomba@reddit

Small town here, with a significant population of Asians, mostly Chinese, for the universities. My wife is Japanese, though everyone assumes she is Chinese, and I am white but not British, and to be honest I feel like we get a lot of stares if we walk down the street holding hands.

It never seems to be anything malicious though. Maybe just looks of curiosity or maybe some judgement of a white guy having "yellow fever" or something. I met her when I lived in Japan and I know that it's a common judgement to make when seeing a white/asian couple so it doesn't bother me. The few times we have struck up with conversations with strangers they always ask about how we met but it seems to be out of curiosity and not anything with ill intent so I would say it's fine.

When we go to big cities it's non-existent.

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pikantnasuka@reddit

The UK is far more divided by class than by race.

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shinneui@reddit

White woman married to an east Asian guy. Nobody cares.

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AnimatorCommercial53@reddit

As someone in a mixed relationship, whilst it’s common place I actually get really terrible looks and sometimes abuse yelled at me and my black girlfriend. It is always from black people, I have even been threatened and harassed on the street about it. I live in London btw not in the sticks. It is generally accepted far more here but the only difference I can tell between here and US is that white folks would also give us looks

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elalmohada26@reddit

Your comment of “someone like them” is striking.

I think we’re more likely to consider people as “like us” based on things like shared interests and outlook on life rather than race.

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Eliza10-2020@reddit

Despite what the MSM and leftist propaganda would like you to believe, most in the UK are not racist, and just see people as people rather than their race or skin colour.

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Peter_gggg@reddit

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taoofdavid@reddit

We just don't care. It isn't an issue.

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Live-Negotiation3743@reddit

I’ll comment as a black woman living in a big city. Everyone says that no one cares or notices but I would say that sometimes it can come as a surprise to people who you work with.

When I’ve been in jobs and showed people my now husband they initially look shocked then when I ask them why they say ‘oh he wasn’t what I expected’. And then some people will ask if I have always gone for white men?? 😂

So generally attitudes are relaxed but if you actually ask people about your relationship when you’re an interracial couple, they will tell you clearly they didn’t expect it.

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yocomoquchi@reddit

My wife and I fit that bracket. Seems like a weird question to me which I think leads to the answer of ‘the vast majority of people couldn’t care less’.

On the whole most people here aren’t preoccupied with race. That’s more of an American problem, me thinks.

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slightly_OCD@reddit

Midlands here, no one bats an eyelid

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nWoSting145@reddit

I’m white British and my wife is Filipina (we met last January and just got married 5 days ago) and we’ve been all around London and other places like Cambridge, Glastonbury and Luton to name a few. Not once in any of those places have we heard any comments, witness any negative reactions or been made to feel bad because of our cultural differences or the differing colours of our skin, it’s become so normal for people from different backgrounds and cultures to be with the ones they love that it’s an non issue. I think that the generational change (meaning the “old school” mentality of British people before I was born in the 90s) have largely been replaced by my generation and beyond where most citizens here are welcoming and nice. That’s not to say everyone older than me harbours that old school mentality, it’s just that I’ve met more that do than older people that don’t.

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IamtheOnezee@reddit

I (white British) have married to someone from another ethnic origin for almost 20 years and we were together for ten before that. We never feel noticeable nowadays esp because we are in London so very normal. Occasionally get double take looks when we are on holiday in the countryside but there have never been any actual problems about it even 30 years ago.

When we were younger we used to get a lot of questions mainly because people assumed we had some sweepingly romantic tale of how we got together in a faraway land, but actually we originally knew each other at school so they were always quite disappointed by that!

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44scooby@reddit

Yep, weird question to Brit. Not something to get your knickers in a knot about . Translates to panties in a bunch but not as weird for our American friend.

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priiizes9091@reddit

Segregation is not a thing here. Race is barely notice too. It’s strange to me you’re even asking this question!

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C_beside_the_seaside@reddit

Yeah my family has two different sets of cousins where each grandparent is a different nationality

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WasteofMotion@reddit

Mate nobody gives a shit.

Ice t said it best https://youtu.be/KIE6twazt4w?si=Ez4BzZCkWKFRoPHM

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Morriganalba@reddit

I'm in the West of Scotland, and when I was growing up 80's/90's, you could (mostly) tell if someone was Catholic or Protestant based on their surname. Irish or Italian names were Catholic, Scottish were probably Protestant. I have a 'Protestant' name because my mum is Catholic, dad is Protestant, and I was brought up Catholic (but have been atheist since before I was a teen).

Couldn't care less (could care less in your language)

Same race or religion couples are more common but that's just because people's social bubbles are generally made up of people similar to them.

In my experience, everybody apart from the minority of racist fuckwits are very accepting of people with different backgrounds to them and interested in learning more about different cultures. Intolerance makes news headlines, but the majority here are tolerant (although that word is a poor descriptor, we don't 'tolerate' others, we shrug our shoulders because we can't think of a reason why we wouldn't).

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Bigbesss@reddit

Race is only an issue for the windows lickers in our society. The general population doesn't care

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IcyCoach8716@reddit

Literally nobody cares.

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Neo-Riamu@reddit

I have 3 children with 3 different Woman from all different backgrounds.

Look at our history and you can see we have repeatedly integrated and mixed with anything that has come in arms reach of us lmao

One little story about my super racist grandad when his first great grand child was born she was black (My child) her mother is also black(Jamaican) afterward we found out his grandad (my great great grandad?) was black so his racism died down somewhat after that.

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Responsible_Oil_5811@reddit

America is obsessed with race to an extent that no other country is. Britain is more obsessed with class.

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purrcthrowa@reddit

Exactly. We have a few interracial couples in our village, and no one thinks about it since they all contain people of the equivalent class (mainly professional). If, however, someone married someone from a significantly different social class, irrespective of race, that would raise a few eyebrows.

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Responsible_Oil_5811@reddit

It says something about Britain that it’s most famous erotic book is Lady Chatterley’s Lover, in which a repressed aristocratic woman finds sexual and emotional satisfaction with a working class man. One of my favourite examples of English snobbery on the one hand and wit on the other is the exchange between the prosecutor and the publisher at the Lady Chatterly obscenity trial. “Is this a book you would want your wife or servants to read?” “I wouldn’t mind my wife reading it, but I must admit I would be reluctant to give it to my gamekeeper.”

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highrouleur@reddit

It really isn't a big thing here.

The only time I've heard anyone comment on an inter racial couple was coming out of a cinema probably 20 years ago. We were behind a black guy with a white girl, suddenly some weirdo popped up alongside us "it's disgusting innit?" "er? what?" "Them" we went in a different direction as quickly as possible.

The most notable thing I can think of about an interracial couple is some random weirdos ignorant comments about them a couple of decades ago

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iViEye@reddit

generally it appears less polarised than in the US, but I will add nuance

Within the same socio-economic background there's a lot less friction from what I've seen. With non-racist families, historically poor people being in interracial relationships isn't uncommon.

Sometimes though, especially in areas with more ghettoisation, there can be friction from external family members over who their cousin/daughter/friend is dating. I'd say this is modified by some white-supremacist structures and general xenophobia from some minority groups (this is certainly not universal, but noticeable at times).

There are scenarios where you'll see interracial couples where one person may not be in regular contact with their family due to having to protect themself and partner from bigotry.

Once again, in general, they are viewed mostly as couples, with the same ups and downs as any other couple

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E31a5c7d65d792@reddit

Huh, for a moment I forgot that some people may have an issue with it.

Even the far right don't have an issue with it here. Heck, Kemi Badenoch, the most prominent far right person in politics today is a black woman married to a white man.

We simply don't think about it here.

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TheDettiEskimo@reddit

Incognito mode for me.

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Winged_Diva_850209@reddit

No awkward stares in London, a few curious glances here and there when we travel up north in villages. In general race isn’t really a big deal here as opposed to US I think. I am Southeast Asian and my partner is British.

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Thin-Juice-7062@reddit

It depends. I'm black and have lived in Britain and another European country, most young people don't hold bigoted views towards interracial relationships but people aren't as tolerant as some would have you believe in this thread. A lot (not all) of white men hold negative views towards black men dating white women. I've had instances where a partners family member has said if we got married they wouldn't attend due to my race, the last girl I dated said on the first date that her grandfather told her very sternly not to date black men.

Very recently, I was walking down the street with a white friend of mine and a man stared at us for an uncomfortable amount of time before asking me if she was my girlfriend. Racism in Britain is very real, just hidden. Its also worth noting that people hold far more bigoted views towards black man-white woman pairing than another pairings so racism isn't dished out equally and the general demographics of this subreddit.

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What is it with Americans being obsessed with racism

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I'm white and UK-born. My spouse is Chinese and came to the UK as a student. It didn't even occur to me until we'd been going out a good few weeks that we were an "interracial couple". In the decade or so we've been together, I don't think we've ever had a single comment about it in the UK from anyone except one or two other Chinese students early on.

My in-laws in China are a different story.

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Gori means fair-skinned. Not even white. You will find people in South Asia call women of their own race "gori" if they are well... gori or fair skinned. And in all the Bollywood movies you will find songs reffering to women as goriye or gori. It means "fair lady". It doesn't mean someone is calling you a whitey.

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Caemeron772@reddit

Interracial couples are always the same height. Even when they are tall they’re the same so I’m wondering if that indicates a mismatch? Maybe if they’re both 5’6” it’s not good for walking about at night or looking over walls etc. I think one needs to be taller at least. Mixed race couples make me think of Berghaus jackets, anything boring or bland.

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Consistent-Sea-410@reddit

There are arseholes everywhere, the U.K. isn’t free form racists. However, I can’t imagine you’ll get comment on it from nearly anyone, I don’t think it’s even on the radar for most people.

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G30fff@reddit

four of my best friends are in interracial marriages, which is most of them, three Asian guys and one black guy all with white wives and mixed children. Never been an issue for any of them AFAIK

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Meanwhile-in-Paris@reddit

It’s very normal.

You'd hear more people worrying about backgrounds than ethnicity, like a visibly ethnically mixed relationship but they both grew up in Birmingham? Not much of a conversation. But two white people but one of them is from Russia, I feel like people would ask a lot more nosy questions, especially if the couple has children

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thelouisfanclub@reddit

Normal. I'm 35 and mixed race, my parents are still together and never had any major negative experience besides the odd "culture shock" moment that I suppose comes from marrying someone of another culture, regardless of race. I know a lot of other mixed race people, as basically - my Dad came over from Nigeria in the late 70s, he knew a lot of other Nigerian boys at the time, and most of them ended up marrying white girls as... there were just a lot more white girls in England in the 70s than anyone else. And in Nigeria there isn't the same kind of expectation that you have to marry a girl from "home" like there is in some other immigrant communities.

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GhostRiders@reddit

The only people who care are racist, xenophobic morons. As for the rest of us, we care so little it wouldn't even cross our minds.

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Kesskas@reddit

I'm mixed race (Jamaican & English) and my wife is white (English & Irish), we've been together for 8 years now.

We've never had any overt issues, as I genuinely think most people aren't bothered about it, but I know that there have been instances wherein people have dropped the 'don't mix races' bollocks. Never to my face of course because obviously they're all cowards, but I know it's been said more than once.

I don't think anyone really cares, it's normal nowadays. You might get older pensioner types making comments but that's about it.

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Valuable-Wallaby-167@reddit

The UK has never had an active policy of segregation in the same way as the US. So while there's racism, it's not geared towards "stick to your own kind" in the same way. Obviously there'll be people who are bothered by it because there's dickheads everywhere but I'd say even most people who are bothered about things like that will be more fussed about cross-culture relationships than interracial ones.

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Nyx_Necrodragon101@reddit

Interracial relationships haven't really been stigmatised since the 90's.

Nobody really cares that much. The only people who do seem to have a problem with it are POC who have self-segrigated.

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CalligrapherTop2202@reddit

I've literally never heard another British person use the phrase 'interracial' before, and skin colour here is pretty much a non-issue. We discriminate on other things, like how people dress or what car they drive.

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OverlordOfTheBeans@reddit

I personally don't know anyone, nor do I myself, who gives a rats arse who's shagging who. Unless it's noncing, then people care, but otherwise no one cares.

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saz2377@reddit

Not interracial couples but if you want to see how american segregation is treated in the UK look up The Battle of Bamber Bridge from the second world war.

The short story is that an american unit stationed in a small village in the north of England tried to ban black soldiers from certain pubs in the village. The village responded by banning the white soldiers. Unfortunately it did erupt one night with shots being fired and a black soldier being killed. The pub it happened outside still has the bullet holes in the wall.

The start though shows how even in the 30s/40s the UK had less tolerance for segregation/racism than america did.

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Agnesperdita@reddit

My son-in-law is mixed, my daughter is white. Walking down the street in the various British cities where they have lived, nobody would give them a second glance, let alone have an issue with them as an interracial couple. On holiday in the USA a few years back, they apparently attracted a number of comments. All positive (the ones they heard, anyway) but they said it still felt surprising that people felt the need to comment, even if was to say how NICE it was to see a couple like them.

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-psychedelic90-@reddit

I'm in a interracial relationship.

So great to see the replies from my fellow Brits! We have more to be proud of than you think 🥰

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CeleryEastern8993@reddit

I live in a 97.6% white district. People who don't know me (for example when I met colleagues for the first time) they were always shocked to find I'm not with someone from "my own race". One colleague was even asking me about my culture etc and then went on to say "so is your husband ... [Gesturing towards me] as well?" 😐

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Familiar-Lychee-6609@reddit

Yeah nobody gives a fuck! I didn’t even think that was a still a thing until this post. Just couples!

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AJMurphy_1986@reddit

Non issue

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A lot of British people just wouldn't care or even think this was at all noteworthy. There'll always be a minority who consider stuff like this an issue but on the whole it's a non-issue here.

Important to note that on the whole America is more racially and ethnically diverse than the UK, even if it is more segregated. I would say that class remains the largest segregating factor in the UK.

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philman132@reddit

I am white and my my 80+ year old grandmother made some comments when I started to date a girl whose parents were originally from Ethiopia, but no one else cared at all and my mother had a large argument with her over it! She didn't make any comments about it again (at least not in our earshot).

Most people won't give a damn except for maybe some of those over 80 or from particularly isolated or insular communities.

An interattractiveness relationship.

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Prestigious_Dog_1942@reddit

Three of my mates are in interracial relationships, it's so normal that I only ever see or hear the word interracial from Americans

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uncle_monty@reddit

Mostly not an issue. But I did used to date a girl whose parents originated from Hong Kong, and we did get some comments in the guise of 'banter', some pretty gross.

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some_kinda_wack_job@reddit

I'm mixed race (black, white and a little bit Indian) and my (white passing) mum had some problems when she was dating my dad in the 80s. She's married to a different black guy now though and has no problems whatsoever, it's a completely different time. That's not to say there's no racism but it's rarely overt like it was back then.

I've dated white guys and am now married to one and have no issues at all. I don't even think about the fact we're "interracial".

Side note - technically id be in an interracial couple if I was with a black guy too but no one would see it that way!

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rosielouisej@reddit

it’s just so normalised we don’t even use terms like interracial couple. they’re just a couple.

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carl84@reddit

I think at most you might give an internal "Oh, okay", but ultimately it's nobody's business but their own

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First-Butterscotch-3@reddit

The weird obsession over race is mostly an American thing....they are viewed as couples

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theModge@reddit

I agreed with everyone at it's very common to see in the UK.

I think in some cultures it is still a bit less common - for instance potentially some of the more traditional Pakistani communities in northern towns but even then you do get some inter-racial couples.

I feel a big factor in the UK is there isn't black majority neighbourhoods like you get in the US. There is far more diversity. In turn you don't get a black middle class like you do in many US cities which with that diversity naturally lends itself to more interracial couples.

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Prestigious_Dog_1942@reddit

Yeah class outranks race in the UK, you get rich and poor areas, not black and white areas

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Batwoman09x@reddit

Honestly? Literally no one gives a shit. No one gives a shit here about anything unless it starts getting rammed down our throats or forced on us (example: religion, believe what you want, but when a local catholic in my town stood in the town centre telling children Santa isn’t real but god is, all hell broke lose, believe whatever nonsense you want, but don’t expect everyone to agree, that goes for everything)

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saltyholty@reddit

It's still illegal, you'll be chased out of greggs and have shoes thrown at you.

quoole@reddit

It's not a huge deal here any more - me and my wife were a little worried when we first got together but haven't seen m/any issues or people making comments like they have to you - although we'd both at least heard stories of it happening.

Her family was a little concerned that I (white Brit) wouldn't except them or their culture fully. But now they love me and they joke I eat more Ghanaian food than she does!

It was a different experience 50-70 years ago. A good friend of ours, is the child of a mixed race couple in the 50s and they ran into a lot of racism. In fact his mum's family cut her off because she married a black man and his family cut him off because he married an Irish woman.

FEMXIII@reddit

I'm quite lucky to have been born with great sight, so I just use my eyes.

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Edible-flowers@reddit

It's more usual in cities where no one will notice.

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Specific_Telephone_3@reddit

As a couple.

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Trikecarface@reddit

It's normal just like it should be in every country

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abgc161@reddit

I was in an interracial relationship and had two instances of getting very nasty comments from strangers over the course of four years.

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