ULPT needed for a woman from a country with little to no human rights. How can I protect myself?
Posted by The-Sloth-Demon@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 140 comments
I’m from a third world country where women have almost no rights. Honor killings are common and if a woman is disobedient, family often pressures the males in the family to do that. With the rise of anti immigrant sentiments and barely any jobs for expats, how can I protect myself? I am an expat in a different country where there’s no chance to get a citizenship. I have an over bearing family who is pressuring me to move back to my country where God knows what they will do to me. My family wants me to force me into a marriage with a cousin who I absolutely hate. Also, I don’t want to marry anyone. I am a student still in university. How can I protect myself? What are my options?
No_Presence9915@reddit
Join the military of the country your in? Ex: non citizens can join the US military.
God_Lover77@reddit
Hmmm...not ulpt but consider finding ways to migrate to safer location. Perhaps studying (with a scholarship or something) could help.
Panda-768@reddit
May I know where you are from? Sounds like you are from my neighbouring country
How about even if they deport you,don't go back to them,hide in a different city? Or is your family so well connected that they ll find you anywhere?
How about going to a neutral but welcoming country like UAE/Qatar etc where loads of expats live and work, even if they don't give you citizenship , you caneasily stick around for years if you get a job. You ll have yo hudtke, live in shared accommodation etc.
ValuesHappening@reddit
You have two primary options:
rdbnmanju@reddit
Kill the males in your family.
Medium_War6594@reddit
That would work but she would be tortured and executed
coccopuffs606@reddit
Marry a gay man who also needs the protection of a straight-presenting marriage. When your family starts harassing you about kids, tell them you’re infertile.
Also, it would help us give you better advice if we knew what country you’re in, or at least the general area.
Medium_War6594@reddit
In those countries homosexuality means execution
doitpow@reddit
Locate a GIANT gay man and become his "beard". You protect him from homophobia and he protects you from men. You can use him a sheild against unwanted suitors and insist that you are against until it becomes convenient and expedient to break off the arrangement.
Medium_War6594@reddit
In their countries homosexuality means execution.
Glum_Improvement7283@reddit
I was thinking this too. A lavendar marriage might work
olivemylife0@reddit
A 'lavendar' marriage? Oh wow I like what it is called!
You learn something everyday.
evancalous@reddit
It's lavender
Suddenly_Karma@reddit
No no no, "leviosaaaa"
PoodlesMcNoodles@reddit
🤣
doitpow@reddit
i had not heard this term. adding to lexicon
OGTurdFerguson@reddit
I know someone that did this. They have a better marriage than I do.
Not joking about either.
sabboom@reddit
Hey. Neat. 👏👏
WankYourHairyCrotch@reddit
I second this. I knew someone who did this as a means of getting a green card and her husband was gay but worked and lived in a conservative area /field. Perfect arrangement for them both.
Putrid-Presentation5@reddit
I guess you could set them up if you knew they were coming for you. It would have to be anonymous, though, if they're paying for your tuition.
AstronautOk1034@reddit
Considering it's a ULPT, seduce and marry a local
Irishfanbuck@reddit
Am local, ready for seduction.
modalkaline@reddit
What about marriage?
Irishfanbuck@reddit
Seduction first.
Vipernixz@reddit
fax
TellJust680@reddit
shotguntuck@reddit
Secretly go to the police or an immigration lawyer. My wife is from one of those places in a similar situation and was able to get asylum status in the US. She would most likely be murdered on the street if she went back.
The-Sloth-Demon@reddit (OP)
Thanks for the advice. Going to police is not an option. But I’ll try to find an immigration lawyer. I already have an immigration agent and the process has been dragging for a year so I’m scared.
shotguntuck@reddit
Worst case scenario, they are right about to send you back to be married off and you need to get away. Find a country like the US with a lenient asylum status path, and book a flight straight there and never come back.
vapenutz@reddit
Finding a country like the US is not good advice today damn
Mark_Knight@reddit
such a fucking privileged terminally online redditor take. lmao
vapenutz@reddit
Nah, it's an European take
Daan776@reddit
I’ve never been to the us but it still sounds like an upgrade from where she’s currently stuck.
Like, America has its problems. But it isn’t “I may get murdered on the street for dishonour” and even in a worst case scenario won’t be that for a few years.
Especially in the “blue” states
tuttifruttigodis@reddit
How delusional are you? The US is still one of the better countries to immigrate to. Especially if you come from the middle east etc
vapenutz@reddit
Oh I'm sure it'll stay that way over the next 4 years
tuttifruttigodis@reddit
Itll be the same as in 2016-2020.
Gaygaygreat@reddit
Unfortunately it is. This is a horrible country but it’s still somehow easier than some :( we have a pretty decent asylum system here and generally tend to allow those who would otherwise face danger in their countries in easier. My ex’s entire family came here seeking political asylum and had little to no trouble getting it. Many of my friends in Lebanon are thinking of trying too because it’s easier in the books than other, more kinder countries.
vapenutz@reddit
What do you think happens with that asylum system now? Because you guys need to think about options like Europa now.
Gaygaygreat@reddit
I’m honestly thinking of claiming right of heritage for Italy at this point. I do not like the US. But I’ve seen some otherwise sane and kind countries make it hard for others to immigrate.
New Zealand for instance won’t allow anyone whose autistic to move there or become a citizen :(
vapenutz@reddit
I have a friend who did exactly that, he has Italian heritage and now he has an EU passport!
NurseKaila@reddit
Maybe book a round trip flight and miss the return. Otherwise you’ll raise red flags with CBP.
newuxtreme@reddit
Immigration agents are dogshit for the most part. You can find paralegals that help you out for free that WANT to help you out, and do so without monetary bias. You've given money to the immigration lawyers and agents already they don't give a f.
Find women rights groups and such for your religion even your country near you. Why can you not go to the police in a foreign country? They are the first ones to be able to help you even if you are doing things under the table otherwise like working OT or whatever.
You are doing these things out of a lack of options, that is understandable to them and you are not going to be considered a criminal for this, rather someone trying to protect and save their life.
What other reason is it that you can't use the police?
PrivilegeCheckmate@reddit
Some cities are asylum cities even when their governments oppose it.
Large_Strawberry_167@reddit
You probably know better than we do but those immigration agents are usually scammers. Speaking for the UK, all the information is online at gov.uk, r/ukvisa and myriad other places. Good luck lass.
chatminteresse@reddit
At my uni, there was a legal department. The legal department was free to students and could make good recommendations for professional services that are available. Even if they don’t have the service you seek, they may be able to connect you with someone who can set you up with a low cost immigration lawyer for students etc
toadjones79@reddit
In most countries they will intentionally drag out immigration to discourage frivolous asylum seekers. Keep pushing. Scour data for complicated processes that might be hidden that you need to complete. Don't expect them to be helpful. But also don't treat them like they are being unhelpful. This is one of three issues currently making me sick. Good luck.
Careful_crafted@reddit
If your in the usa, a lawer named martinez? And wears pink is famous for immigration law and could probably recommend one in your area
CapriciousHousewife@reddit
This brings us back to the unethical! My husband had to start threatening his immigration agent’s life before he actually started doing anything for him.
Circumsizedsuicide@reddit
Violate their rights before they can violate yours
o0Meh0o@reddit
get a gun
OrganicAccountant87@reddit
How would that help lol? Op would be deported and killed
o0Meh0o@reddit
gun make pew pew
Plenty-Lychee-5702@reddit
What country are you in right now?
Plenty-Lychee-5702@reddit
Would marrying a man in your new country not work?
Teal-Pumpkin9157@reddit
Do you have any means to get to Australia? From what I remember of the high profile cases of women seeking asylum from Saudi and the UAE, they were able to seek asylum in Australia. Maybe reach out to an immigration/asylum attorney there first to see what your options are. You can book an indirect flight there through somewhere like the Philippines if you don’t want your family to know you’re going there. Just don’t post anything on social media saying you’re seeking asylum or your family can try to get your passport from your home country cancelled before you land.
blossomrainmiao@reddit
Whatever you do, absolutely do not go back to your home country. As many others have said, ideally seek asylum. If that is difficult, marry your way in. Once you are settled cut all contact with your family and ensure they cannot find you. Do not ever contact them again or let them know where you are.
MistressLyda@reddit
I would not consider it unethical, but look into contraceptive implants. If your body and health tolerates it, they buy you some time if you end up forced into marriage.
OrganicAccountant87@reddit
What if they find out about it when she returns? A simple visit to the doctor and Her medic would probably report her and she could be killed no?
MistressLyda@reddit
It is a risk to take, but it can be placed in not quite traditional spots, and a bit deeper than what is common. Not going in detail here, but a doctor that is up to speed about these issues will know how to hide it as well as possible.
Another factor is that she has been allowed to leave her original country to study, it might not entirely impossible that it will be searched for, or that her family will want to believe her if she claims it is due to menstrual pains and similar.
The horrid thing is, it is a gamble either way, but for quite a few a increase of the risk of being killed is a price worth paying to not get pregnant in a situation like this.
Any_Masterpiece9920@reddit
Give up some pussy to an up and coming gangster.
Professional-Cod7634@reddit
Work visa
Dull-Department-9444@reddit
Sounds like America
OrganicAccountant87@reddit
Sick of these comments, someone literally from Iran, Qatar etc and here you are talking about America... WTF
Th3_Shr00m@reddit
Most entitled shit I've read in weeks bro she's from the middle east
https://www.reddit.com/r/qatar/s/ydMCVbQTjF
Daydream_Delusions@reddit
Google castor bean.
Host a family dinner.
OrganicAccountant87@reddit
They would most likely survive and op would probably be killed after. it would definitely be a very suspicious situation lol
m4cksfx@reddit
Fucking brilliant. Monstrous, but actually kinda ethical in this case, in my opinion.
Previous_Ad_937@reddit
You can protect yourself with a gun or whistle.
No_Cranberry_7695@reddit
💜💜💜
HailMahi@reddit
How’s your English? If it’s very good, get a formal certificate verifying your level of fluency and get certified to teach English as a second language.
There are literally thousands of schools and companies around the world that hire ESL instructors, including non-native English speakers, and sponsor them for work visas. Some even provide housing allowances and cover part of the travel cost. If you can’t stay in the country where you currently are, you can find another one.
Sterling239@reddit
And if you get the job maybe lose contact with the family if you been disobedient could get you killed you might even be able to be come a refugee at the very worst
puphopped@reddit
Look for farms, factories, that sort of thing. Knowing a second language is gold to some of those companies. Sponsoring a visa is no problem for a huge amount too.
ratamadiddle@reddit
Try to leave the US.
Cynical_Doggie@reddit
Simply identify as a male?
mongolianshoegaze@reddit
God bless Sharia Law
MrsInTheMaking@reddit
What country are you in right now? Whatever you decide, stop playing by their rules OP. You cant beat an enemy when you play by their rules. Start reading up on feminism and let it empower you.
GardenGood2Grow@reddit
Get a local boyfriend and fall in love, get married and stay.
newuxtreme@reddit
Yeah because that works logically and on a limited time constraint lol. And of course the boyfriend wouldn't care her finding him and "falling in love" because it's so convenient for her.
This is horrible advice. Not just unethical, but something that will ruin both her and the guys life.
GardenGood2Grow@reddit
This is UNETHICAL life pro tips- a bit of a parody. An arranged marriage to a hated cousin is a better alternative in your opinion?
newuxtreme@reddit
But mate that's not a pro tip. To ruin your and someone else's life for the sake of current convenience.
newuxtreme@reddit
To me it seems you're an Indian female student in Canada based off of your provided details. And that you're using an Indian immigration lawyer too.
Screw him if he seems unhelpful, and start looking at local authorities and women's groups and such that help provide asylum and such into either the US or Canada for women that have literal typical instances of yourselves such as honour killings and such.
Countries like the US and Canada are fairly straightforward to help you with asylum like this too. It's far more linear than anything you might try with immigration.
Look into women's groups etc. Ask this on the female xx sub reddit and provide more details for them to help you.
Your case is actually quite simple and straightforward you just need to reach out to the right resources.
dapotatopapi@reddit
She's from the Middle East.
https://www.reddit.com/r/qatar/s/ydMCVbQTjF
newuxtreme@reddit
Then that makes it even easier since Asylum for Islamic women/based countries is even more understandable and straight forward.
I mean I have male friends who I know claimed that they had to flee Punjab and come over to the US, because their neighbours were going to kill them, because they think they did something to their cattle. No joke. It worked. They have asylum in the US rn.
For a Muslim woman the need to flee her religion and country is going to be far more supported by the authorities both public and private in western nations.
thecrazeygamer@reddit
Find a way to either get mace or pepper spray or a taser, aside from that, try to get help from charities that specialize in human rights/women’s rights , hope this helps!
Honky_Town@reddit
There is no unethical way. For me I would try to finish my study and get away. If not possible flee before finishing! Forced marriage and missing human rights is a reason to flee to a different country. Maybe a bumpy ride to get asylum but definitely the way to go.
That is the easy part.
The hard part is to not look back and leave everything behind! Get a new name if possible and never return home no matter what! Once you are trapped back at home nobody can help you!
Send a Letter to your mother every year from a town far away. Like a 2h drive to Munich to have your letter stamped there so if they search the wrong city.
Stop trusting them no matter how great the love! If you let slip anything they may come to get you home to your "rightfull" place to marry your cousin. If they understand and respect it they wont press you to reveal your new living place. If they press you to more contact or a visit assume its a trap.
Draigdwi@reddit
Or just one letter from “local police” saying sorry, your daughter died in an accident, couldn’t find next of kin in time frame allocated, buried in unmarked grave in field No. X. They are ready to kill her anyway so not a big shock to their emotions. But there’s hope they don’t come looking. And for good measure change the name and style: if you look like Princess Jasmine make your new style a Marylin Monroe. Hair colour and length does wonders in changing appearance.
Nearby_Association33@reddit
Super unethical but how’s the laws on women unaliving people, specifically men? I mean as last ditch scenario completely. Worse case you’re parents marry you off, then become a widow ? Will they still force you to marry again or will you be socially free in a sense cause technically you married but your husband died. If you don’t get caught cool, if you do that’s where the question of how long will they put you in prison for and would it be a better life than being married.
Unplannedroute@reddit
Find a woman in same situation, become lesbians and claim asylum as you both would be killed if you return to home country.
Go to a few LGBT+ uni events, they will know of legal groups that are LGBT specific for such cases. You won't have to 'prove' you're gay, honest.
candela1200@reddit
a girlfriend of mine won political asylum as a lesbian after her relationship with another woman. this is actually an ELPT but look into all possible political asylum strategies and refugee orgs. i’m super proud of you for reaching out for help, it’s awful that forced / family marriages and honor killings are common.
a lot of women are rooting for you, not just here on Reddit, but around the world. we are all working to reclaim our human rights; as women, our freedoms are inextricably intertwined.
i really hope this works out for you, may your journey unshackle other women in your country as well ✊💕
Regular_Ad3002@reddit
Travel to the UK on a tourist visa. Claim asylum. It will likely be granted.
Pegasus711_Dual@reddit
If you're pretty and can pretend to be feminine (a bit coy submissive types), some alt light maga lite man would be willing to wife you up. That would be the quickest way to citizenship.
Just saying
WankYourHairyCrotch@reddit
Not a ULPT but more of a practical one : does your university have counsellors or women's groups? I'm in the UK and here we have authorities that can help women who are at risk of forced marriages. Can you seek this kind of help? Your university might be able to help.
The-Sloth-Demon@reddit (OP)
Sadly uni councillors are not an option because they can’t do anything. Are there any authorities you know who help women internationally like that?
petrastales@reddit
Which country?
Sterling_-_Archer@reddit
If we knew a general area we could help more
Gisschace@reddit
Another option would be to move to a country like the UK, and then cut ties and disappear. Can you try and sort out a uni transfer? Dress it up as an amazing opportunity.
Other options are countries like Germany or try the Scandinavian countries
Dr_nut_waffle@reddit
If you can legally get a weapon or if the penalty for illegal gun ownership is low. Get a gun and learn to use it. If they try to hurt you start blasting. Its better than dying.
Nerdsamwich@reddit
How about applying for asylum? Tell the local authorities that your family is threatening to kill you because they think you've been corrupted by your education or some such.
2catsaretheminimum@reddit
I don't know if this will help
https://humantraffickinghotline.org/en
Lillllammamamma@reddit
Is a university exchange a possibility?
WankYourHairyCrotch@reddit
I don't know I'm afraid. Whilst your uni can't help directly,.they might be able to put you in touch with an organisation that can. It's definitely worth asking I think.
Gusenica_koja_pushi@reddit
Is there a chance to seek political asylum?
vdxpxrlcyebvwd@reddit
fake post
toolsavvy@reddit
for real
RIddlemirror@reddit
Sounds like Pakistan
Zestyclose_Data5100@reddit
It would really help if we knew what country are you from and what country are you in
ExoticEntrance2092@reddit
Guessing Pakistan ---> UK.
K1ttyK1awz@reddit
See if you can find a study abroad opportunity through your university. When abroad, find an internship what will sponsor you for an immigration visa
yourilluminaryfriend@reddit
I can tell you what not to do. Don’t move to the US. Apparently the people think we need a felon for president who has absolutely zero respect for women. So I believe we’ll be in the same boat soon
brokenhousewife_@reddit
I would try a lavender marriage in Qatar, you'll protect both your interests.
sallystarr51@reddit
You mean the US??
Hot-Ic@reddit
This is not an unethical request.
However you are somewhat problematic since you are misreading the society that you are currently in. Western societies do not have antiimmigrant sentiment. Western societies have laws and rules. People who break the laws are not viewed favourably.
Find a local leader from your own community in the western country that can persuade and talk on behalf of you.
Do not marry your cousin. Higher probability of your children losing in gene lottery.
Starkravingmad7@reddit
They 100% have anti-immigrant sentiments. Some areas more than others. Especially in North America.
Hot-Ic@reddit
You have to distinguish between legal and illegal immigration.
United States have laws that allow and welcome legal immigration.
The current administration, which has lost, has shown complete disregard for law-breaking illegal immigrants.
The OP is university student and has all the chances of immigrating legally.
Necessary-Banana-600@reddit
You can just do contract marriages and get a green card.. or if you actually wanna marry some local then it’s legal and better … but if you seek asylum you can never return to that country (legally) even after many years so you definitely need to consider that before seeking asylum
NoticeMean@reddit
how do u find someone for contract marriage
Starkravingmad7@reddit
Show up to a bar near a military base where enlisted soldiers frequent. Ask around if anyone wants to get married for a few grand.
caeru1ean@reddit
You're talking about the U.S. right?
Toxotaku@reddit
If you are in the USA or any country with US military bases, many of those men engage in fast contract marriages for extra benefits. Legally frowned upon but it happens all the time.
AgileBlackberry4636@reddit
If you are located in a western country, there is a chance to get asylum and the name change.
But I have no idea about the probabilities.
Maybe you will have to secretly keep records of bad things happening to you to increase your chances.
CrastinatingJusIkeU2@reddit
Find an immigration lawyer today and cut contact with your family and with anyone who knows them or anyone from your country who might believe you should be under the guardianship of a male family member. Transfer as much money as you can to a personal bank account. Change your phone number, move to another part of the city, block them from email. Find an organization that helps women in your situation (even if they are in a different country, contact them and they might be able to help). If you can’t find one specific to your situation, contact a battered women’s charity and ask them for resources. Look into moving to another country.
M4c4br346@reddit
Apply for citizenship in Sweden. As an oppressed woman you're pretty much going to be able to stay.
njaesor@reddit
At this point fuck your family
TYO_HXC@reddit
Well, whatever you do, don't go to America.
Raccoon5@reddit
You can always try to get lost in some east asian country or in south America. If you can make enough money and get fake credentials you could stay there indefinitely...
SensitiveThugHugger@reddit
I smell a new dating app. . . .
davekingofrock@reddit
Florida?
usfwoody@reddit
Now helpful for the United States.
HungryAd2461@reddit
If you are studying IT come to South Africa. You WILL get a job (just Google my country). We have a 50% unemployment rate except in IT and engineering. Then you get a work visa and chill. Go to Johannesburg and work your way back to Cape Town. We also have a thriving muslim community (muslim marriages are now recognised by law) but zero "suppressing of female rights". What's the downside? All women in my country are equally (irrespective of race, religion or social class) at risk of violence against them but Cape Town is super safe.
Best of Luck!
gberg42069@reddit
You live in America?
sdswiki@reddit
Not ULPT, but start going by consulates, explain to the the soldiers outside, see if they can get you inside. YOU ARE A REFUGEE, you are due protection. Stay strong, please start making regular walks and talks to see if you can apply for asylum in the west.
Scooter-breath@reddit
Wrong room, post in AusLegal.
The-Sloth-Demon@reddit (OP)
I’m not in Australia. But thanks, I’ll try a legal sub.
spacegirl2820@reddit
What country are you in? It might be helpful to know to find the appropriate resources for you.
halapert@reddit
Marry someone whose citizenship will transfer to you??
bradbrookequincy@reddit
USA?
kendromedia@reddit
Get out of Goatfuckastan.
EvilGuy@reddit
Sorry you have no good options that I can think of.
Best option is find a foreigner to take care of you or win the lottery.
... but if you have no family, no money and no prospects in the country you are in and they don't want to help you it's time to do something you won't really like.
All the options suck.
secret179@reddit
Listen TRUMP won but can you really go that far?
ImpossibleBridge@reddit
wrong sub..and try applying for asylum