ULPT request: how can i be deemed unfit for the military draft?

[-]

JarrekValDuke@reddit

Yes. There is. All males are signed up for selective service at the age of 16

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marklikeadawg@reddit

Selective service ≠ The draft.

I did 4 years in the Navy and had to sign up when I got out. It's just in case.

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Dragonman558@reddit

The Selective Service System is a program that collects information on male US citizens and male immigrants between the ages of 18 and 25 in case the military needs to expand rapidly during a national emergency.

Aka a draft

[-]

marklikeadawg@reddit

It's only a draft if it's activated. Until then, it's only the SSS.

[-]

Dragonman558@reddit

"It's only a draft if they say they want you, until then it's only registering for the draft" ftfy

[-]

Dragonman558@reddit

Register for selective service (the draft)

Per government website about selective service

[-]

JarrekValDuke@reddit

My dude never read the selective service paperwork lmao

[-]

Senior_You_6725@reddit

You got yourself a bone spur there son?

[-]

swashbucklah@reddit

become a single father/mother, get a green card marriage to another country, faking mental illness are probably your safest bets

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YurtlesTurdles@reddit

conciencous objector. I had documentation of religiously based pacifist beliefs in the early 2000s when a draft seemed possible.

[-]

FoolishDancer@reddit

A friend had himself declared crazy to avoid Vietnam. I don’t know the details.

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KungFuHamster@reddit

Ted Nugent shit himself when he showed up.

[-]

Some of the comments are a bit extreme, easiest way is put some evidence towards being suicidal/depressed. Like another person said, a couple cuts on your arm and/or leg will be very noticeable during the physicals, and if they somehow pass that through, directly tell them you're suicidal, if they pass you through to boot camp, talk about shooting yourself during the live fire training and tests, and fail physical tests as much as you can, make it look like you're trying but severely underperform

[-]

Reasonable_Height483@reddit

The chances of getting drafter are pretty slim. Majority of the country doesn't even qualify to serve

[-]

MingusPho@reddit

They'll just lower the standard or issue waivers.

[-]

IamImposter@reddit

Their waivers won't go upto 38" waist. Anyways, I can always go upto 40 or 42

[-]

RyanComenzoElFuego@reddit

Idk if its a world war i feel like they’ll get as many bodies in as they can

[-]

Jackol4ntrn@reddit

There won’t be a world war because Trump will just give Putin what he wants.

[-]

MarathonRabbit69@reddit

Trump’s “negotiation” is dropping to his knees and begging to suck the attackers cock.

[-]

Tannissar@reddit

Why? 70% of the western world offensives are remote or air attacks. The US specifically can, and has, held an entire country with 1200 boots on the ground.

A modern war hasn't been fought in over 40 years with the conventional fronts. It's not going to magically start now.

[-]

MarathonRabbit69@reddit

That works when your enemy is sporting 60 y/o tech you sold them and completely uninterested in fighting.

Will. Not. Work. Against. The. Chinese.

Or even the Cartels in Mexico. Who, btw, have better remote battle tools than the US DOD for the most part.

[-]

DonnieG3@reddit

> A modern war hasn't been fought in over 40 years with the conventional fronts. It's not going to magically start now.

Haven't been paying attention to the literal trench warfare in Ukraine right now, huh?

[-]

Tannissar@reddit

Lol nothing about that is a modern war. It's farmers and citizens fighting back... literally, they're driving off tanks to use in their fields 🤣.

Take politics out of it and its a superpower that invaded a developing nation that economically has been considered third world for the better part of the last 50 years.

Insert politics and its a superpower that pissed off every other superpower to the point they send modern equipment to said developing nation that allows the level of fighting present.

Now... had we sent troops and not guns not only would the theatre look very different but THEN you could consider it a modern war... and it wouldn't have identifiable fronts 🤣

[-]

Staik@reddit

The air force slightly relaxed their waist standards recently, they will gladly accept you having a 38" waist if you're over 5'9". 5'11 for 42".

[-]

Professional-Bite863@reddit

How about this, just don’t fucking show up. Who gives a flying fuck what they want it’s your bloody life. I’d kill anyone who tries to force me to draft up to the army. War is pointless

[-]

redditisfacist3@reddit

They are extending bootcamps or putting people through physical camps before basic. Regardless they'll figure out a way to get people in if needed

[-]

ertri@reddit

Project 100,000

[-]

The_Critical_Cynic@reddit

My father was drafted into Vietnam. The number of people he saw there that shouldn't have met the criteria to be there would surprise you.

[-]

POEAccount12345@reddit

people about to learn about McNamara's Morons

[-]

AbruptMango@reddit

Eddie Slovik was 4-F for the first couple years of WWII. But as the war ran on, he moved up the list.

[-]

The_Critical_Cynic@reddit

A good example. If they really need you, they'll come and take you.

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TheChunkyGrape@reddit

Right because you know what country op is in

[-]

Beer-Milkshakes@reddit

And most positions are support or technical. Drone warfare is the latest priority as we've seen how absolutely vital they are to attrition. So even if you were drafted into a western military, you'd likely be fixing equipment or piloting drones.

[-]

sprunkymdunk@reddit

If you watch Ukraine footage, being support personnel in no way protects you. Just means you are getting schwacked with long rang arty/drone rather than being shot in the face.

[-]

adenrules@reddit

Even if it did, the highest turnover is still in the infantry. That’s where you’re going in a draft.

[-]

Jsturkenboom@reddit

Unless of course OP is one of those few dafty people not from the USA...

[-]

_noodleboy_@reddit

Kamala lost. Why are you worried

[-]

Tzar_Castik@reddit

Fail the drug test.

Purposely bomb a test or two.

Tell them you love Iran.

[-]

gasman22@reddit (OP)

so like what kinda drugs exactly

[-]

arinreigns@reddit

Drugs really won't work for an involuntary draft. They'll ship you off and make you get clean in training. Drugs only work if you are trying to go in voluntarily.

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Acceptable_Employ_95@reddit

I was a US Marine recruiter from 2006-2009. Just saying you’ve done drugs in the past was enough for MEPS (military entrance process station) to disqualify (DQ) you. It was then our job to test you for current substances and submit for a waiver request.

At that time, in the Marines any tattoos on your hands or above a t-shirt collar is automatic DQ.

Gang and drug related tattoos (the 3 dots on your hand was okay) are automatic DQ.

There’s also a section asking if you are a conscientious objector meaning that it is against your religion and/or beliefs to harm another person even if it is to save your life or someone else’s.

[-]

VerdugoCortex@reddit

That was also when recruitment was going wayyyyy better to be fair.

[-]

Dangerous_Figure5063@reddit

Dude, just relax.

Don’t start doing drugs.

Come on…

[-]

AliensFuckedMyCat@reddit

Imagine being on this sub and anti-drugs.

[-]

Dangerous_Figure5063@reddit

Imagine thinking that’s a pro-tip.

Unethical or not….its no fuckin tip lol…

Especially when no draft is gonna happen.

[-]

AliensFuckedMyCat@reddit

All that D.A.R.E propaganda worked on you then I see.

[-]

Dangerous_Figure5063@reddit

I don’t care how you try to spin it, or how you try to shame me lol.

Fact is, taking drugs is never a “pro-tip” to get ahead in life.

Regardless of the ethics.

OP, just go talk to a therapist so they can give you the diagnosis.

They won’t let you in with mental illness.

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KermitsPuckeredAnus2@reddit

Who mentioned 'start'?

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Acceptable_Employ_95@reddit

Reminded me of the great Mitch Hedberg.

“I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.”

[-]

sugarplumbuttfluck@reddit

You're probably better off just eating something that gives a false positive on a drug test. Poppy seeds are the classic but there are also several medications that will flag drug use.

[-]

fattyontherun@reddit

Weed stays in your system the longest. Has the least bad side effects and edibles already have it bound to fat.

[-]

Tzar_Castik@reddit

Just do it Hunter S Thompson style. A buffet so to speak.

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lukify@reddit

We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

[-]

MacintoshEddie@reddit

The dealer may offer a sampler platter to cover all the bases.

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deletesystemthirty2@reddit

Smoke weed

[-]

heyitscory@reddit

I mean, after you test a bomb or two, the FBI already has you on your radar, regardless of the Iran thing, so I hope you enjoy the drugs.

[-]

Andrew8Everything@reddit

Yes the FBI has nothing better to do than prosecute low-level drug users.

[-]

the_instantgator@reddit

Lol read it again

[-]

HauntedDIRTYSouth@reddit

Woosh

[-]

IamImposter@reddit

What if I make a drug bomb. Injections are kinda cumbersome.

[-]

SgtMac02@reddit

That's funny that you think failing a drug test would keep you from getting drafted. If we're at that point, they won't care.

[-]

brianundies@reddit

Seriously lmao, it doesn’t even always guarantee a dishonorable discharge today.

[-]

DumbSimp1@reddit

If u get drafted I seriously doubt they carr about drugs lol

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YouArentReallyThere@reddit

Knew some guys that were involuntarily recalled. They showed up for processing high AF and reeking of weed. The Army gave zero fucks…”Oh, you’re high right now and have been smoking daily for a month? GET ON THE BUS!”

[-]

Nerdsamwich@reddit

If you're talking about the US, you don't have to worry. The service lottery has been entirely replaced by the poverty draft, which is far more efficient at exploiting the poor with minimal impact on the rich.

[-]

sprunkymdunk@reddit

Popular theory, but recent numbers show most military members are middle class these days.

[-]

MarathonRabbit69@reddit

Source please

[-]

XASTA123@reddit

There a middle class left?

[-]

Nerdsamwich@reddit

It never existed. "Middle class", in the modern sense, is a fiction designed to pit high-paid workers against low-paid workers so neither group has the energy to spare to oppose their exploitation by the owner class. There's no middle there. You either work for a living, or you exploit workers for a living.

[-]

sprunkymdunk@reddit

Ironically, the military is a decent way to enter the middle class. Lower middle class, but still.

My experience is Canadian but not too dissimilar from my Yankee colleagues.

Grew up food-bank poor. Joined at 18 for a free uni education. Tried a few different trades until I found one I liked, and am probably gonna stick around for a 70% pension at age 53.

In the meantime I get affordable housing in a safe/tight neighborhood on base. Great personal healthcare + good family coverage. Pay is mediocre , but amazing work-life balance, 6+ weeks of vacation, 24 sick days, two hours of work time a day to gym. And job security.

Lots of potential downsides if course, with potential moves, long tours away from family, limited earning potential etc.

But it's a solid middle class lifestyle.

[-]

Elevatejeff@reddit

Thank God I wouldn't have to serve with the help

[-]

hawkeyepearce52@reddit

BONE SPURS .

[-]

PM_YOUR_EYEBALL@reddit

Really? So my back having bone spurs, narrowing discs, arthritis and mild scoliosis would make me inelegible? Genuinely asking because it’s been worrying me the past few months. But I’m older now to so that could also be a factor, 35yo.

[-]

your_moms_apron@reddit

It’s literally how trump avoided the Vietnam draft - https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2018/12/26/politics/trump-bone-spurs-vietnam-war

[-]

MarathonRabbit69@reddit

He was also rich and had a doctor write an essay for him about it

[-]

TheOneTheyCallNasty@reddit

Pretty sure draft age is 18-26

[-]

Kilo353511@reddit

From my understanding you must register for Selective Service between ages 18-26 but you are eligible for the draft until 35.

[-]

greysnowcone@reddit

It’s 35

[-]

TheOneTheyCallNasty@reddit

It's actually not

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Bleak_Squirrel_1666@reddit

For now

[-]

TheOneTheyCallNasty@reddit

Lmao I'm not worried about it bud.

[-]

notNYPostemployee@reddit

ASTHMA.

[-]

Geeack_Mihof@reddit

Came here to say this.

[-]

arinreigns@reddit

Take a grippy sock vacation

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1337420132301@reddit

If you have to do a piss test, take a needle with you. Prick yourself anywhere on your body and put a drop of blood in the cup of urine you have to give them.

[-]

tgentry313@reddit

That wouldn't work. The military guidance is that the observer has to watch the urine exit the body. Would most definitely get flagged.

[-]

Tiiimmmaayy@reddit

Get a diabetes testing needle or whatever they are called. Prick your finger, then just let it drop into the cup while you are holding your dick. I doubt they are looking that hard.

[-]

MondayNightHugz@reddit

Won't work, you'll get caught. Those finger pokers do not make big holes and if you prick your finger before the test it will stop bleeding within 30 seconds unless you have something really wrong with you...in which case no need for shenanigans.

[-]

MarathonRabbit69@reddit

Dude, break off the needle, glue it to a ring.

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Trash-Forever@reddit

Veteran here; 99/100 watchers will not watch the piss leave your body. But the one that does will take a knee right next to the toilet and get a real good view.

So, uh, theres a chance.

[-]

Razzerno@reddit

That would be correct on a piss test once you are in, but that MEPS one, the guy watches.

[-]

Trash-Forever@reddit

The MEPS guy did what everyone else did, he stood on the back wall (behind me) with his arms folded

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Razzerno@reddit

So you have a distinct memory of that one time, likely more than 4 years ago? Because I had that, then became a recruiter and had dozens of guys tell me that they were watched.

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DidntHaveToUseMyAK@reddit

God it was the same when I worked in prison. Some of the dumb fuck fellow officers did this shit too.

[-]

NicodemusArcleon@reddit

Good ol' meat watch duty!

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Trash-Forever@reddit

I had a dude damn near touch his nose to my cock once, no lie. Bro was WATCHING

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murse_joe@reddit

And he wasn’t even drafted

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Thatshowyougetants27@reddit

Should’ve booped him on the nose

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BaldursFence3800@reddit

Correct. They stand against the wall behind you and that’s it.

[-]

justhereformyfetish@reddit

Prickly the inside of your urethra before going in

[-]

TzGaming@reddit

Rather get shot methinks

[-]

AbueloSalcedo@reddit

Have this upvote and fuck off

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2lostnspace2@reddit

r/angryupvote

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Decs13@reddit

I piss blood already 😎

[-]

WheezyGonzalez@reddit

Wear black snug underwear. This way any blood will not be visible dripping down your leg nor in your undies

[-]

sugarplumbuttfluck@reddit

The man said prick, not stab it!

[-]

Davegrave@reddit

Instructions unclear, slashed my femoral artery.

[-]

WheezyGonzalez@reddit

😂 good point.

But for good measure, stabbing seems the way to go. I mean, depending on how long you wait for the piss test, the prick may have scabbed over and stopped bleeding

[-]

Mark_Knight@reddit

Cursed comment

[-]

ThePenguinSausage@reddit

Urethra inside of my prick? Am I doing this right?

[-]

ample_mammal@reddit

r/angryupvote wow two in one day

[-]

BillScienceTheGuy@reddit

Ah, an r/sounding enthusiast I see

[-]

KheyotecGoud@reddit

fuck you

[-]

Karakawa549@reddit

Forget that, I'll run into a war zone in my whitey tighties with a nerf gun first.

[-]

ziostraccette@reddit

Ouch

[-]

bars2021@reddit

cut the finger and stick your finger in the waterfall.

[-]

stamosface@reddit

“Piss test was fine, except he stabbed himself in the cock. Sending through psych eval.”

[-]

Dense-Tangerine7502@reddit

Guess it’s time for an oil change

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Jwzbb@reddit

Smart, what does this prove?

[-]

Significant_Planter@reddit

Not a damn thing! They'll send you for more tests. None of your tests are going to show anything so they're going to figure it was a one-off.

[-]

PolishedKarma13@reddit

Likely kidney issues

[-]

Frosty_Lengthiness86@reddit

100% serious, jerk off. The proteins in semen throw the test off

[-]

Radiant_Picture9292@reddit

Just smoke weed

[-]

junkytrunks@reddit

That just gets you sent to the front lines.

[-]

Fuzzy_Bed_8010@reddit

Just be mentally unstable

[-]

Klentthecarguy@reddit

If you put a gun in my hand, I will put a bullet in my head? Would that work?

[-]

mamabear-50@reddit

Apparently having bone spurs works.

[-]

TutorComprehensive28@reddit

Back in my day draft dodgers shot themselves in the foot

[-]

meldiane81@reddit

Bone spurs. Our 47th got out of it that way.

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foxyfaerie@reddit

Be overweight and bad at physical fitness.

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Hedhunta@reddit

If theres a draft that wont do it. They will just PT you until you are in shape to fight.

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No_Cranberry_7695@reddit

Bone spurs

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starkformachines@reddit

They won't let anyone go through basic on meds, so someone like me that needs meds everyday is DQed.

[-]

Upstairs-Parsley3151@reddit

You literally can't, they can write infinite waivers.

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EatTheChild21@reddit

It might be best to take advantage of them watching and act like you are trying to trick the test

[-]

generalraptor2002@reddit

Pay enough money to a psychiatrist to write you a letter

[-]

Sunlit53@reddit

Eat a raw kidney bean and puke on the doctor.

[-]

Throwaway_shot@reddit

Is this the new conspiracy theory? There's not going to be a draft. The military doesn't want conscripts. We're not heading into a major ground war that would require hundreds of thousands of barely trained infantry. Re-evaluate where you get you information and get a grip.

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how_small_a_thought@reddit

wait am I in a sub for only Americans lol

[-]

Throwaway_shot@reddit

It's an American social media site. If you or OP have a question specific to another country, then you need to specify.

Sorry not sorry. Internet message boards aren't hard to do. Make your own tired of interacting with Americans when this American website.

[-]

how_small_a_thought@reddit

oh it's an American roleplay sub I gotchu. can I have a pb&j and a beer poured down some titties that were wrapped in a bra that is the american flag

[-]

TheScrantonStrangler@reddit

Yes sir. here's your PB&J served on a plate made out of pistols

[-]

sprunkymdunk@reddit

Every sub has some version of someone panicking over the election results right now. It's very sheik

[-]

Johnny_Poppyseed@reddit

"chic" not "sheik" lol. Sheik is like a Muslim leader. Chic means in fashion.

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sprunkymdunk@reddit

I stand corrected. But gonna continue to use sheik anyway, chic is too French.

[-]

ysome@reddit

Actually I think sheik is zelda in disguise.

[-]

AbruptMango@reddit

Great, now I've got Escape Club going through my head. Thanks a lot.

[-]

iwantapie76@reddit

Sheik is just a Muslim priest like “Father”

Caliph is Muslim leader >!and I’m probably wrong but I think sultan also counts!<

[-]

Fearless-Werewolf-30@reddit

I’m tired of getting bodied by the needle spam sheik wtf

[-]

mrenglish22@reddit

Just cut off your foot. Done.

[-]

Johnclark77@reddit

If you could transfer some powdered sugar from your hand to your pee you would fail on medical grounds.

Have some loose in your pocket or waistband to contaminate your hands, then get it in your stream.

Diabetes is an instant no-go.

[-]

Cpmac22@reddit

heel spurs

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POEAccount12345@reddit

alooooooooota folks in here thinking about the current standards and applying it to a draft model

if the US enacted a draft, there will be no standards. they will just want bodies for the meat grinder. google McNamara's Morons. they wont care about ASVAB or if you are fat. theyll throw you threw some 3 weeks half assed boot camp, shove a rifle in your hands and stick your ass on a plane for god the fuck knows where so you can be a bullet sponge in a war of attrition

won't matter if you are a vet. won't matter if you are disabled. you'll just be another statistic for the crawl screen of "patriots" for the local news to run through each week

[-]

AnneOnymuss@reddit

Felony conviction. The military doesn't want bad people to go kill.

[-]

Cultural_Arachnid_30@reddit

Trump won not Kamala I wouldn’t worry about a draft

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HighVulgarian@reddit

Make a pass at your commanding officer

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DonnieG3@reddit

this will just get you promoted quicker, not sure where you are getting your info from?

Source- me, EP evals every time baby

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Little___G@reddit

Make sure it’s a male though

[-]

Glum-One2514@reddit

Tell them you're gay. I'd imagine that will work again, soon.

[-]

DonnieG3@reddit

that'll just get you sent to the Navy

[-]

Teh_Compass@reddit

Tell them you're trans might work better tbh

[-]

Zer0@reddit

Lol chill you're not getting drafted.

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C_A_M_Overland@reddit

There won’t be a draft lol

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Little-Nikas@reddit

What country are you in? America doesn’t do the draft. Other countries have mandatory military for 12-24 months.

[-]

Ghostspider1989@reddit

Be really fat

Be REALLY stupid. There's the asvab, a test before you join the military. You have to be REALLY dumb to fail it and get rejected.

Piss and shit your pants at MEPS, it's the place you go where they check you out physically before you ship to basic.

Smoke pot and fail the piss test. This is probably the easiest one honestly. Unless the military legalizes pot, then you gotta do something harder and piss hot.

Tattoo a swastika on your hand

Tell them you're gonna kill yourself

Those are off the top of my head but in my personal opinion I don't think a military draft would ever happen again

[-]

HuikesLeftArm@reddit

Be old. Have injuries. Works great.

[-]

tgodxy@reddit

I’d you have any friends who are doctors it is easy

[-]

MrsInTheMaking@reddit

This should be easy. Fail an asthma test at your local allergist 🤷‍♀️ make sure to research the test first. If you want to be really sneaky, go to an urgent care and say "my asthma is acting up and my inhaler ran out". 😁 It only takes one medical recordnto fuck it all up. You're welcome! Diagnosis after age 13 is pretty damning.

[-]

GreenHocker@reddit

Getting yourself some sort of mental health diagnosis would do it

[-]

Joyage2021@reddit

Don't worry, the vast majority of Americans are disqualified from service for one reason or another. Drafts are wildly unpopular and volunteer forces are way more effective. After Vietnam there were a bunch of draftees who decided to stick around the military, word is that they made it living hell for those who had to deal with them.

[-]

Gbrusse@reddit

I hear bone spurs will do it.

[-]

Olive_jar99@reddit

Piss disc - not sure how or why but it’s the answer to every post on this subreddit

[-]

LowAd3406@reddit

I feel like liquid ass is more appropriate here. Before the Dr comes in to do the exam, spray it all over your body and the room and say you have a shit fetish.

[-]

AbruptMango@reddit

Good work, Private Pyle, because you're going to be in a world of shit!

[-]

Acenima265@reddit

Have you tried having a narrow urethra? I know a guy named Hank got denied to sign up for the service because of it.

[-]

RefreshingOatmeal@reddit

Claim a food allergy when you get drafted. They won't check up on it

[-]

XASTA123@reddit

Get formally diagnosed with some kind of depression and/or anxiety disorder. Or chop off a few fingers/toes, whichever you prefer.

[-]

Fit_External5147@reddit

Kamala lost big man, your safe now.

[-]

Mysterious-Bag7178@reddit

This a question when Trump is elected but not when the Biden administration failed to stop the start of the war in Ukraine, failed to not escalate the war, and failed to stop the war.

Mmk.

Enjoy the next 4 years of peace, my dude.

[-]

itwasbread@reddit

Why are you acting like between Israel and Ukraine there hasn’t been dozens of people asking this question in the last 4 years

[-]

donh-@reddit

Show them a person that cannot handle confrontation or stress. Fail the IQ test they give (this is harder than you think). Be completely withdrawn, hard to interact with, lost.

[-]

jayrady@reddit

Why? The war hawk didn't win

[-]

itwasbread@reddit

This is America dawg there is no scenario where a war hawk didn’t win. It’s just a matter of how dishonest of a war hawk they are

[-]

Samuel_L_Blackson@reddit

Was Harris a war hawk??

[-]

bsigmon1@reddit

Yes

[-]

Standard_Arm_440@reddit

The Russian asset won. Great. Ukraine is fucked.

[-]

jayrady@reddit

Sorry I'm not willing to send American men and women to go die in and for Urkraine, I guess?

[-]

NurseKaila@reddit

We’ve been doing that for roughly 80 years. Why is 2024 the year you suddenly care?

[-]

jayrady@reddit

Oh sorry, I didn't realize you have known me for my entire life. Lol.

How's your mom? Coming to the BBQ Sunday?

[-]

NurseKaila@reddit

Oh, so you’ve been silently protesting soldiers being sent to Ukraine whilst posting on Reddit about owning big guns? Interesting.

[-]

jayrady@reddit

This comment doesn't even make any sense? Lol.

So gun owners support sending troops to Ukraine?

Why can't you just talk to me like a normal person, if you're actually interested, instead of going through my history, which I nuke regularly, and making up a character of who you think I am based on a single comment you could have just scrolled past?

Acting like a child.

[-]

Standard_Arm_440@reddit

Bot

[-]

jayrady@reddit

I clearly nuke my account regularly. Lol

[-]

thegreatbrah@reddit

Bone spurs. Worked for trump.

[-]

Puakkari@reddit

Start doing drugs

[-]

ZanzaBarBQ@reddit

Op, how many arms and legs do you have? You won't get drafted if you are to short.

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One_Hour_Poop@reddit

What country? The US? There is no draft, and there isn't going to be one. It's been proven over the past fifty years (when the draft was taken away) that the US military functions better when it's full of people who actually want to be there, meaning they joined voluntarily, not forced to be there.

If you're in a country like Korea or something with mandatory military service, then you're better off asking in your country's forum.

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Enix71@reddit

Snopes investigated a part of project 2025 where every public high school student must take the military entrance exam. Private schools are exempt. Now why would the party that has been funneling money away from public schools and making sure only certain parts of our collective history is taught want those same kids from a crippled system to serve as? Bodies for the meat grinder. They want people dumb and poor enough to command.

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Fifaboy98@reddit

How is this relevant in anyway ?

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SgtMac02@reddit

The draft still exists. It wasn't taken away. Everyone is still registered for the draft. It's a tool that we used once a while back, then put back in the toolbox to collect dust. But we can still pull that tool back out of the box if needed. We just aren't likely to need it.

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One_Hour_Poop@reddit

Fair enough. I get that Selective Service still exists but America's moms and dads would lose their minds if "da Army comes to take mah baby away." Plus lawsuits left and right from the ACLU or whatever, mass attempts to avoid conscription, people going to extremes to avoid service, etc. There would be chaos.

I think a good comparison would be America's nuclear arsenal. Yes it's there, but are we actually ever going to use it?

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SgtMac02@reddit

I mean....what you described is basically what happened last time, no? Hell, our new POTUS famously got himself diagnosed with "bone spurs" so he didn't have to go, right?

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PurpleFirebird@reddit

Chop off a hand. And a foot

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BertPeopleErniePeopl@reddit

If you're in the U.S., try this sneaky little maneuver: Live your life normally, and you will definitely die before there is ever another draft.

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StreetWorldliness280@reddit

I dont think you'll be drafted given your apparent mental retardation

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notNYPostemployee@reddit

There won’t be a draft.

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spiritedcorn@reddit

You think they are gonna draft people in the next 2 months? Yikes TDS is real

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FatheroftheAbyss@reddit

really commit to the bit and get committed to inpatient for a couple weeks. get all ur rights revoked. just tell a doc you are actively suicidal

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MidnightLilly@reddit

Become a farmer, and they might make the choice that you're more valuable at home feeding the army.

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Wickedbitchoftheuk@reddit

Say you're a quaker. Pacifist and refuse to fight.

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MidnightLilly@reddit

Lol.. I read the title and then I had the same thought. It's ok ww3! More real than the movies!

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SnodePlannen@reddit

Complain about asthma, get some prescriptions, boom

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DickensYermouth@reddit

What draft? Are you in the US? We're nowhere close to needing a draft.
This comment section is weirdly obsessed with piss and drugs. When they make you slam your knees on the ground, grunt as if it hurt like hell and fall over. If you can, angle the strike so you hit your patella on the ground. It will actually hurt and swell a bit. They don't want soldiers with weak knees.

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fossSellsKeys@reddit

I think in the new military being registered to vote as a Democrat will probably be enough to disqualify you from service.

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Other-Resort-2704@reddit

If you want to make yourself ineligible to serve in the infantry by simply failing the color blindness test.

You can fail the physical for a multitude reasons like flat feet, BMI is too high and etc.

Typically the physician at the MEPS station is looking for reasons to disqualify people. So telling their physician that you have GERD, asthma or a variety of other medical conditions that are expensive to treat.

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sewbrickette@reddit

I am not suggesting this, but if memory serves, anyone who has ever broken a major bone (arm,leg) is ineligible. Again, I’m not saying to break your arm…

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ogeytheterrible@reddit

I'm unfit for service, 4F, I'm too tall to serve apparently.

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Little___G@reddit

Get some type of surgery. I wanted to join the military at one stage in my life and looked it up and I am ineligible because I’ve had surgery on my back. Idk exactly what qualifies, but you could fuck up your back and get surgery on it and you’re good.

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Straight-Sun-892@reddit

There are so many people on IRR (inactive ready reserve) that there will probably never be a draft. Just saying…

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Richard-c-b@reddit

Conscientious objector. It means you can still do things for the war effort but won't fight

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Jakel020@reddit

Buy a big gun and shoot it without ear plugs.

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martygospo@reddit

Smoke weed, fail a drug test? Idk if that would actually work in a draft scenario though. They’d probably lock you up until you were clean.

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queersasha@reddit

Don’t drink anything for the entire day and only eat salty foods like prosciutto It should fuck up your blood pressure and results very much. My dad did this accidentally: he forgot to drink water for like a day and a half and ate a ton of prosciutto that was about to go bad. Good thing because even before the test results came back he already managed to piss of the one in charge.

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FairTelevision5@reddit

Correct me if I'm wrong but pretty sure if you threaten to harm yourself or others they won't pick you for the draft. You'd be a liability or something like that. Again, don't quote me on this.

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Alansalot@reddit

Pretend to be a communist

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ChillyStaycation1999@reddit

Chop off your left leg

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TimidBerserker@reddit

I know someone that needed to get a medical exemption b/c they were missing about half of a digit on their dominant hand, so loosing a big toe might be enough

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Junior-Fisherman8779@reddit

prescription for anxiety meds or antidepressants

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swervin87@reddit

That’s just not true. I’m active duty on meds for depression.

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redditisfacist3@reddit

Yeah but there's a big difference between getting diagnosed while an active duty member vs a civilian at meps.

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swervin87@reddit

https://www.navy.com/joining/requirements

Don’t see anything about depression medication keeping someone from joining. Maybe if the medication wasn’t treating it to a level where they could deploy. Plus, there are waivers for almost everything. During a situation where the Draft is reinstated, one would think those waivers would be approved more frequently.

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Junior-Fisherman8779@reddit

for real? In the US? My recruiter pulled wayyyyyyyy back when he found out I was on multiple mental health medications

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swervin87@reddit

I don’t know how long ago that was, but now a days, you can get in with pretty much anything. They lowered the ASVAB minimum to 10, so as long as you know the circle goes into the circle hole, you can get in. I joined in 2005 so I don’t know what all has changed since then.

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Dracekidjr@reddit

Works for enlisting, but when big gubbermint gets desperate, they'll tell you to shoot away the sadness on the front lines lol

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Elevatejeff@reddit

Lol. Stop it

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bmw_92@reddit

What country do you live in?

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CrudeAndUnusual@reddit

Your mentals.

Anyone giving you 💩 shouldn't expect any more from you than the example our next president set

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SoftwareRound@reddit

Swing at anything green

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Biker_OverHeaven@reddit

Become physically unfit to avoid drafting maybe? Become obese or too thin to be considered as a candidate?

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daughteroffergus@reddit

Likely already done..

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Daddy2Thicc@reddit

You can just say you’re suicidal and they’ll fuck off

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lincoln_hawks1@reddit

Some racist tats on your face and hands will do the job.

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rory888@reddit

Depends on the country... but realistically? If they want you, they'll draft you regardless.

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PromiseDifferent2436@reddit

What an overreaction

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SeaworthinessLoud992@reddit

drugs &/or a record

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SeaworthinessLoud992@reddit

bone spurs

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Leaf-Stars@reddit

Full-time student.

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redditisfacist3@reddit

Honestly hard drugs would do it. Realistically you can refuse to train or do anything they'll just throw you in jail at worst. It's not like you're committing a real crime by doing something like that you're just being a conscientious objector. Vietnam showed us with time the government will backtrack on your convictions.

Don are you going to do something like join the Air National Guard something that's non-deployable but still technically counts as military service

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danlab09@reddit

But WarMommy Kommie didn’t win…

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Adventurous_Bid4691@reddit

Piss the bed during basic.

Works like a charm.

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Nuclear_Shadow@reddit

You could sign up now and get a dishonorable discharge.

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Adventurous_Case3127@reddit

Depends on the circumstances of the draft. Shit gets fucked enough, they'll take anyone.

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BigPhilip@reddit

Could you identify as a woman?

Beware, this is a very unethical thing to do

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Alvoradoo@reddit

Wtf? They are excuting transpeople. This won't work.

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BigPhilip@reddit

They are literally doing that right now, isn't it?

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Alvoradoo@reddit

Reddit tells me this is the central GOP platform and they had an emphatic victory.

I can only report the facts sir.

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BigPhilip@reddit

Based

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snugglz420@reddit

be a communist

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Stormychu@reddit

What country? All depends

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ewatk@reddit

Well theres not going to be a draft and even if there was your posting history of TV and video games means youre almost definitely obese. So just keep doing what you're doing.

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Flimsy-Breakfast-685@reddit

I saw a guy get deemed unfit due to being addicted to meth u could try that

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PartTimePeople@reddit

Amputation.

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OnionTruck@reddit

If you are from the US, don't worry.

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ethanjscott@reddit

Smoke meth in front of a recruiter

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Fabulous-Spirit-3476@reddit

Head start for what? One of Trumps biggest selling points is how he doesn’t want war and actually did a great job keeping the us out of conflict during his time as president.

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CanadianHour4@reddit

Have enough money to pay a doctor to say you have bone spurs

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bsigmon1@reddit

Trump was the first president in 32 years to have no new wars start. Yall are so delusional it’s insane. TDS is running rampant today

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BigJohnson13@reddit

Overreact much?

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bsigmon1@reddit

I mean when do dems react normally

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Mostlytrollingyall@reddit

Kamala is the one who’s for war, crybaby

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Mistakes_were_made44@reddit

Never gonna be another draft dude

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JarrekValDuke@reddit

Selective service is still in place for a reason.

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Mistakes_were_made44@reddit

I stand corrected

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MacintoshEddie@reddit

Step 1: Get fat. It'll take dedication but I recommend 5x5. Eat 5 chicken nuggets 5 times a day.

Step 2: Drugs. Lots of drugs.

Step 3: Join a sex cult, but not the one the recruiter is in.

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AcceptableOwl9@reddit

25 chicken nuggets a day isn’t going to get you fat if that’s all you’re eating. That’s like maybe 1500 calories total.

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SavethelastoneforME@reddit

Purposely fail the eye test/exam. Especially the color blind test.

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Wise-Celebration9892@reddit

If you're a man, show up to your draft hearing in a dress and flirt with the men.

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Pooterboodles@reddit

Ahh, the Klinger approach. Sadly, that wouldn't work.

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talknight2@reddit

It's veeeery unlikely anyone's getting draftee anytime soon in the US

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ultimate_bulter@reddit

he could be from the other 190 or so countries

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Action_Bronzong@reddit

There's other countries?

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talknight2@reddit

Someone outside the US is more likely to ask in that country's sub instead of the general one

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NotBillNyeScienceGuy@reddit

Reddit is only Americans

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JohnnyOmmm@reddit

Get asthma like me

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Greyhound272@reddit

Do whatever you or 18 and older men did in 2016, to avoid it.

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Ok_Vulva@reddit

Face tattoo, hand tattoo, get fat.

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waddleswiggy@reddit

Create a history of suicidal ideation. Makes you ineligible to service in the U.S. military (assuming this is U.S.)

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Hulk_Crowgan@reddit

Live in a country that’s not drafting like the US 🤦‍♀️

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NurseKaila@reddit

The US hasn’t participated in a draft since 1973.

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Gumbi_Digital@reddit

Mental Health issues could be an option.

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unfeatheredbards@reddit

Google. No need to shill.

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FreeFalling369@reddit

Youre worried you will get drafted because of the guy with zero wars and is anti war? Ok little guy, let it out

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mission_to_mors@reddit

Depends on which country?

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BipolarBisexBymyself@reddit

During the evaluation tell them you’re hella depressed and you have suicidal thoughts. Just research depression and try your best to fake it. Unless you have that helps you a bunch

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MsMercury@reddit

Just tell them you’re a treasonous coward.

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TheMaltesefalco@reddit

The mental illness should suffice

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Aetheldrake@reddit

Work in a grocery store or maybe any warehouse. You are now essentially undraftable because who else will stock the shelves? The farmers won't be stocking the shelves. The boomers using their obesity and sedentary lifestyle destroying their physical body with over indulgence so much they can hardly walk as an excuse to not get drafted won't be. But they'll burn the country down before letting their 3rd trip to the grocery store this week be stopped.

Plus those jobs will likely fuck up your shoulder at some point enough that you probably will be deemed unable to serve anywhere dangerous.

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