What annoying habits do your colleagues have?
Posted by aChocolateFireGuard@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 228 comments
The woman who sits opposite me pushes me to the edge of insanity.
All day every day she taps her nails on the desk, clicks her tongue and hums. ALL DAY LONG. On top of this she reads her emails aloud under her breath. I have started putting headphones in to drown her out but because we share a desk, i can feel the vibrations of her tapping through it.
It drives me absolutely mad. Can anyone else top it with someone worse?
blaireau69@reddit
Dave insists on breathing, continuously.
Be best if he just stopped.
AsdaFan1@reddit
One of my colleagues buys a back of bacon and eats it raw at her desk. She also eats raw beef chunks. Rough. She doesn't even season it, just bangs it straight down.
ShampooandCondition@reddit
Thats...thats really bad for you.
cbawiththismalarky@reddit
Inane questions and pointless conversations, incredibly loud sneezing and coughing, completely performative, endless moaning and being a busy-body, all the same person
ChunkySalute@reddit
I know this one! Ours is called Dawn. She used to be Office Manager (as well as her main job) before I dobbed her in for listening to private conversations with the big bosses and discussing private info about her colleagues’ sicknesses and pay cheques. Then I became Office Manager. Then I got pregnant and now I never seen Dawn. Screw you, Dawn. I won.
cbawiththismalarky@reddit
>know everything about her because every time there was a tiny change in her life, she would tell the same story to every single person
What is that about, I don't get it, and it's never my life is great, it's always shit and it's always someone elses fault!
hello-coraline@reddit
I could hear my co-workers chewing noise. His desk is next to me. He obviously chewed like a goat. And I can’t stand hearing it. 😅
Fellowes321@reddit
I worked with a guy who got normal phrases slightly wrong.
We needed to work together on some projects so you might ask to arrange a meeting. Simple questions like “would you have half an hour tomorrow where we can look at X?” were never used.
He would come into the office stand next to you and say “I need a word”.
Put me on edge every time.
On one occasion he said I need to see you NOW. It was to sign a birthday card for the receptionist.
AdhesivenessNo6288@reddit
We literally just implemented a policy at work to stop people doing this. It's so unhealthy to have those random spikes of adrenaline throughout the day!
ColinismyCat@reddit
Random spikes of adrenaline unhealthy? Yeah, I’m not buying that.
Fellowes321@reddit
It's not deliberate or malicious he was just a bit odd.
There are other examples of his oddness and he was in general diligent and keen to do well. It was just social interactions he struggled with. Let him alone with a computer and he was a whizz - people? Not so much.
Not sure how a policy can address people like this. He just doesn't understand and would need to carry a phrasebook of all interactions if enforced.
AdhesivenessNo6288@reddit
It's just a policy to say 'dont tell people you need to talk to them etc without explaining what it's about' it's part of a wider accessibility policy.
ConsiderablyMediocre@reddit
Ooooh I had this happen yesterday. I'm only a month into my new job so still settling in and anxious to make a good impression. Yesterday a senior manager sent me a Teams message just saying "Hi, do you have a moment for an important chat?". I replied straight away but he decided to take another 2 hours to reply after that! I barely got anything done in those 2 hours because I was bricking it so much.
Turns out the "important chat" was him pointing out I forgot to fill in my timesheet for one day a couple weeks ago.
Aromatic-Story-6556@reddit
My current boss does this. It could just be to call you into his office to talk about something trivial, or you could be getting fired, you can’t tell.
I think it’s some sort of control thing. Gotta keep you on edge.
Low-Cauliflower-5686@reddit
Keep them keen , treat them mean is the way
pavlovachinquapin@reddit
My old boss used to do this and it was 100% a bullshit attempt at a power move. He was such a wanker.
Jolly_Constant_4913@reddit
I had a boss who'd ask to see me. The only workplace ever where it wasn't a scheduled bollovking/something petty/firing for no reason
malewifemichaelmyers@reddit
This could be me, in my head my words make sense but as soon as I open my mouth everything comes out in the wrong order 😭
soverytiiiired@reddit
Oh God I worked with someone like this. Stormed up to me saying “I’ve been looking for you. I need a word with YOU” and she handed me a thank you card and a box of chocolates. She was not trying to be funny, she was just like that
wildOldcheesecake@reddit
You must be talking about my German hr lady.
Nine_Eye_Ron@reddit
Buy them “word of the day” toilet paper.
Common_Turnover9226@reddit
I've had a lot of managers like this, and colleagues/friends who weren't like that before, but started doing it after becoming manager/team lead etc.
"Can I borrow you for a minute"... "Need to have a word with you".... "OK everybody start but can you stay for a moment".... And then it's menial work task, chat about the weekend, or even a sly coffee break for their favourites.
Almost as if it's taught down in training, or shadowing others. Either that, or having the authority to call someone aside from the group just gets comfortable.
Lazy_Industry_6309@reddit
I'd respond to "I need a word" with... tomatoes. Or how about banana? Any word do?
Badlydressedgirl@reddit
My old manager said to me once, “could you come up to the office and have a chat” and the look on on my face must have betrayed my white, hot anxiety because she immediately said, “it’s not bad!”
jotomatoes@reddit
He sounds hilarious to be honest.
Smiley_Dub@reddit
Fella behind me SNIFFLES all day long
Sniffle.......
Sniffle.......
novalia89@reddit
Sounds like Tourette’s/tics that he’s unaware of.
Practical_Page_3790@reddit
I had to sniffle while reading this.
Smiley_Dub@reddit
That you pal? You stalking me???
Tattycakes@reddit
Sadly, working from home and communicating by teams has revealed some people’s lack of spelling and grammar.
She uses the phrase “would off”
💀
SlothsNeverGetIll@reddit
A guy in my team links EVERYTHING to parenting.
My response tends to be 'fair enough', or I say nothing.
He loves being a dad, but he's so utterly bloody boring about it.
ShampooandCondition@reddit
This is what my mate is like. He’s just been away on holiday and came back tired because he’s a dad
I don’t know what skint is cos he’s a dad
“Wait till you have em” is his catchphrase.
Lovely guy but it really winds me up
Tattycakes@reddit
“Why would I want them when your life with them sounds like such a fucking nightmare? You’re really not selling it at all”
SlothsNeverGetIll@reddit
Noone would dare risk "wait I'll you have 'em" on me as I'm 40 so they might think I've had fertility issues etc (I've not).
It's so boring and I think a sign of quite poor social skills.
FuckedupUnicorn@reddit
Oh yes. I work with someone with 8 kids, every little thing has to be about them. “Oh you’re going on holiday?” I can’t go, I have 8 kids.
Comfortable_Love7967@reddit
“Yer so glad I don’t have any” every time until he stops.
SlothsNeverGetIll@reddit
No, I'd rather go 'grey rock' on the whole thing. I NEVER mention that I don't have kids and pretty much keep myself to myself, that's why I find it so odd.
TheArkansasChuggabug@reddit
I didn't mind Christmas too much, I thought some people were trying to be cool by not liking it and others were too excessive with their obsession. I fall in to the middle ish camp where I'm just sort of fine about it.
About 8/9 years ago I worked with a woman who was almost identical to buddy the elf. Christmas was her entire existence and personality. Everyday day/week/month she'd be like only X days/weeks/months until Santa cones round again.
Every story, everything you mentioned to her she somehow managed to twist around to Christmas in some way. It's arguably quite impressive but fuck me it made me an absolute grinch.
For context I worked as a Border Security Officer. No idea how she managed to Christmas-ify every damn thing.
tasi671@reddit
I had a colleague once who would clip her nails in her cubicle. Wed all cover our drinks worried that a stray nail would find it's way into our cups. She also liked to chew on ice.
Adventurous_Top_61@reddit
Few years ago a woman at work asked if anyone had any scissors. I lent her mine and she proceeded to bend down and cut her big toenail with them. Still blows my mind
tasi671@reddit
Good Lord that's unhinged lol
deaddollash@reddit
The ice thing funnily enough could be medical, iron deficient anaemia comes to mind
rsbanham@reddit
What’s that got to do with chewing ice?
And what other medical conditions could this be a symptom of?
deaddollash@reddit
Pagophagia is the name for craving or chewing ice, it’s a type of pica (condition that includes craving non food items). Some research suggests it can increase alertness and response time but there isn’t too many studies from what I can tell.
The only other cause I can think off of the top of my head is, it’s a surprisingly common pregnancy craving but probably for the same reasons as above.
rsbanham@reddit
Anaemia reduces response times and alertness? Makes sense because of the reduced oxygen levels?
And yes, I’m aware of Pica generally and it’s relationship to pregnancy.
SailorJerryRum@reddit
Slurps her tea like a 3-year old, then licks up her cup to catch any dribbles.
She comes across as an overly clean person. But, has a few horrible habits.
wyniest@reddit
He chews.... very loudly.
IansGotNothingLeft@reddit
Old boss used to chew pens until there was nothing left to possibly grip and then put them back in the pot. Then when we sent her a purchase order for more, she'd say "There's loads!!!!". She left 3 months ago and I'm still finding them.
carolomnipresence@reddit
She *knows. She's trying to send you out of the window. You'd be her third ☠️
knight-under-stars@reddit
A decade or so back I worked in an office with a woman who sat a row or two of desks down from me. Every single day she wore this honking old pare of ballet flats to work and on occasion she would take them off under her desk. The first warning you would get of this was this oddly warm and sour scent making its way across the room 🤢 Even typing this now, over 10 years on I can smell it.
Now I was a row or so away from her as I said, the poor people who sat around here had it far worse. It was mentioned to the team lead several times but she didn't have the backbone to confront her.
Fluffycatbelly@reddit
I worked with someone who had stinking feet, I told her that her feet smelled terrible and she told me straight to my face "no they don't, they smell lovely"
Have these people no shame???
DamnThemAll@reddit
Ah you see, you should have approached that one differently "hi, can I smell your pussy? " "No" "Oh well it must be your feet then"
Normal_Red_Sky@reddit
Don't ever do this, if they complain you can easily get fired.
Fluffycatbelly@reddit
Haha this was about 2 decades ago in a shitty call centre. They'd have fired me for breathing wrong.
blopdab@reddit
If someone told me I had smelly feet at work I would be scared to show my face at work again due to the embarrassment
Fluffycatbelly@reddit
🤣 a lot of people probably have smelly feet! I did ask very politely if she wouldn't mind putting her shoes back on please. She asked why so I told her that I could smell her feet and it wasn't very pleasant for the people around her. Maybe I should have been more blunt and told her that her feet were making me retch as my request didn't seem to phase her at all.
Bubbly_Cauliflower40@reddit
I had this exact same scenario, except the girl wore Toms...those crappy shoes with leather soles and no socks. She KNEW her feet stank. She'd come in and spray her funky nasty feet down with Victoria Secret Strawberries and Champagne body spray.
I can overlook a LOT of hygiene things, because I understand that people have medical issues etc that might cause certain smells. But she KNEW. I still gag thinking about the smell.
SpudFire@reddit
It's the lack of socks that does it. My ex didn't wear socks in her shoes and she was on her feet all say as a hairdresser. Her shoes were honking a week after buying a new pair.
You wash socks every day because they're dirty and smelly. If you don't wear socks, all that sweat is being absorbed in the shoes that you're not washing. It's no wonder that they stink.
MmmThisISaTastyBurgr@reddit
I don't understand people who don't wear socks. It's so incredibly disgusting -- unless you are washing your shoes daily like you would a pair of socks or you have magical pixie feet that never sweat. Euch
Smiley_Dub@reddit
We now enter foot poker and I'll raise you
Woman had rank feet Would take off her shoes and put her feet in rancid tights up on the desk 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮
lurkerjade@reddit
My first manager used to do this, and it was literally just me and her in a tiny little office together 🤢 and then she’d lean forward and aggressively scratch her scalp all over her desk and I’d see all the dandruff coming off her head. Don’t get me wrong, I have skin problems so I get that it can be hard to control sometimes, but girl.
Delicious-Cut-7911@reddit
I was 15 yrs old back in the 70's and worked as a waitress. The old kitchen hand would scratch her head and dandruff would land in the peach melbas she was preparing.
lurkerjade@reddit
What a terrible day to be literate. Thank you
CandyKoRn85@reddit
😂
malewifemichaelmyers@reddit
Was her name Natalie by any chance because this perfectly describes my colleague 😭
Apprehensive_Pair206@reddit
Was this in Reading by any chance? I may have been that ignorant woman 😭
101100101000100101@reddit
I had the same scenario! This wasn't in Leeds was it? Maybe the same foot offender
WalterZenga@reddit
He stinks, is hairy and licks himself all day. The joy of wfh with the dog.
oktimeforplanz@reddit
Mine dribbles on my keyboard when she's very relaxed. She's a cat.
Willsagain2@reddit
Not a co-worker then; she's supervising you.
iamgoin@reddit
Your cat is also excused.
oktimeforplanz@reddit
She says thank you. She is lying across my wrist that I'm trying to use my mouse with.
SpudFire@reddit
Well that's because it's the cats job to catch the mouse, not yours. Hands off!
iatecurryatlunch@reddit
My dog started barking when I had a teams call today
SoggyWotsits@reddit
He’s excused. It doesn’t matter what he does, he’s excused!
Knowlesdinho@reddit
As someone that is that annoying colleague, it might be that your colleague is stimming.
I constantly jiggle my legs, I'm partial to a clicky pen and tapping things. There's nothing more satisfying than a proper clicky clacky keyboard to me.
I'm aware how annoying it is to others, but I'm not always aware that I'm doing it. The tapping or repetitive nature of things is soothing and a distraction that others might not understand.
I have good relationships with my colleagues and so they kindly point out if I'm being too tappy or clicky. The leg jiggle gets a pass as they can't see it and we have hard floors.
My wife sometimes has to take things out of my hands because I'm just sitting there clicking it or tapping it, absolutely oblivious to how annoying it must be to her.
There are some fidget toys that give that satisfaction of the click feeling, but without the sound. They're not as satisfying as good old sesh on the big light switch, but they can help your loved ones not want to kill you so much.
Rowanx3@reddit
This is me but with noise. The kitchen is work in atm is the only kitchen that has a ban on radios/music that ive worked in and they hate that i whistle or sing to myself and i cant help it. When I’m doing something monotonous like peeling 120 eggs, my mind spaces out and tunes into rowanx3 fm and it just leaks out. My mind cannot just think of nothing
Curious-Term9483@reddit
I am a hand fidgeter (not a foot jiggler though - kind of wish I was - I understand it burns calories 🤣). And yep - if I am doing it I am probably not aware I am doing it. Once I realise I normally stop.
You beat me to it with your comment though. Sometimes we just have to be the bigger person with these things when someone has a fidget on. If someone is not aware then they can't stop doing it. No point turning it into an issue.
sputnikconspirator@reddit
I keep making fidget toys for my husband and he breaks them from overuse!
mentaldriver1581@reddit
My boyfriend does this. If he’s not tapping or clicking a pen, he’s whistling 😐
AdhesivenessNo6288@reddit
Good old sesh on the big light switch 🤣 I have to go do this immediately!
Hyperion2023@reddit
I’m a minor fidgeter and keep a chunk of blue tac on my desk, which gets rolled out and squished especially when I’m on a long or intense call, and hopefully for my colleagues that’s a less annoying, quiet thing
GuiltyCredit@reddit
They won't stop talking. I mean, I love them, and they are great at the job, but a 20-minute call goes on for 3 or 4 hours!!! I have started scheduling meetings for when they have another straight after, just so I know I'll get off the call. They repeat things a lot. Constantly. I think they are suited to being in a workplace, they need the social aspect of it.
topherslutqueef@reddit
Omg, my colleague clicks their tongue and whistles in the office, another does not stop fucking coughing, it's been years so pretty sure that's not healthy at all. The worst is one guy who hocks up all the time, it's like nails on a chalkboard. Thank god for noise cancelling earphones or I would have jumped out of the nearest window.
megawoot@reddit
One colleague, their mere existence annoys me.
They are a lovely person, but damn... Everything irritates the hell out of me.
Sorry universe for being mean 😞
Low-Cauliflower-5686@reddit
Why does the person irritate you if they are lovely person?
FlipchartHiatus@reddit
Putting their annual leave dates in everyone's personal calendars
Low-Cauliflower-5686@reddit
There was guy at my old work who would put personal stuff such as car service in company outlook calendar. He would put what he was working on every day and site visits, fair enough let's the bosses know what he's up to. No one would do this though, bit look at and goody too shoe
gombom@reddit
I thought I was crazy for being annoyed by this I find it so unnecessary
GrimQuim@reddit
Rules are:
Show time as - free
Request responses - no
Then it's up to me whether I have it in my calendar, but that's how I share my AL with colleagues who need to know when I'm not in.
Ok-Pudding4597@reddit
Replying to my emails
Mikon_Youji@reddit
My boss loves to nose around the office chatting to people even when they're clearly busy with work stuff.
soyundinosaurioverde@reddit
Gossiping, reporting other colleagues for no reason, blaming their mistakes on me.
stubbledchin@reddit
On Teams, one colleague will, without fail, turn a meeting, often a stand up (ie it's meant to be brief), into a session of watching her try to clumsily operate Microsoft products and essentially going through her work. Infuriating and boring.
Another colleague used to talk so much word-salad that any meeting would essentially be hijacked and lost to gobbledygook. Once he left we suddenly found our meetings ran on time and made sense.
Typical_Nebula3227@reddit
Being twats.
FairlyInconsistentRa@reddit
People who watch Tik Toks at MAX volume in the crew area and are totally oblivious to how much of a knob they’re being.
Smiley_Dub@reddit
💯. They've past the moron test big time
Inevitable-Tear-3950@reddit
The morons who go for a smoke then come back in and spray some god awful deodorant/body spray to "mask it". It's just two vile smells combined in a small area and everyone now hates you.
mandyhtarget1985@reddit
Our resident smoker thankfully didnt spray any body spray, it was just the constant smell of smoke. She must have smoked indoors at home as her clothes completely reeked of stale smoke. She was perfectly clean and she washed her clothes, there was no issue of body odour or anything but you know how smoke just clings to everything? She would have her coat hung up next to yours and by the end of the day you could smell the smoke off your own coat.
Her replacement asked about where to go for a smoke and we all thought oh here we go again, but thankfully she was a vaper (outside) so no lingering smell of note
Smiley_Dub@reddit
Only the high notes
Inevitable-Tear-3950@reddit
I do wonder if they're so used to the smell of smoke that they don't realise how strong it is and how it clings to everything. Even when clothes are washed if they are stored in a house with indoor smokers it all still smells 🤷♀️
windowlickers_anon@reddit
Yeah, when I smoked I legit couldn’t smell it.
deaddollash@reddit
I mean yeah, humans get used to smells so when they encounter a new smell you can sense it. Same reason why you can’t smell your body odour or perfume on yourself unless you get a good whiff. So no, smokers can’t smell it because it’s their normal.
Flapparachi@reddit
I had the opposite - I smoked for years, and when it came up in discussion with my fellow students, they complained about another classmate always reeking of cigarettes, yet they said when I came in from a smoke break they could barely smell it on me. No idea how that worked, but I always smoked outside and always washed my hands afterwards. Weirdest compliment I had.
Cheesefiend94@reddit
They talk.
SGRiggall@reddit
Microwaving fish has to be the worst, it’s several times a week by more than one person, I can’t fucking stand it
Dreamingareality9@reddit
Idk what it is about tuna, but someone could open a container with tuna across an office space and every time it hits my nostrils I shudder, whilst reciting the mantra “this will pass, it cannot last forever,” all the while trying not to be sick. 🫠
-Hi-Reddit@reddit
Tell your boss you have https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia and get yourself moved to a different desk.
Wide-Affect-1616@reddit
Each Thursday, we go to the office. Unfortunately, my 1-2-1 with my manager is also on a Thursday, late afternoon. She hogs one of the few meeting rooms and has a takeaway lunch that stinks. By 3 pm, it smells like a kebab house.
Disastrous_Door_5338@reddit
Good luck tomorrow!
Western-Mall5505@reddit
A woman would scrap dead skin off her feet at her desk.
The reason I was going into her room was because she was QA and I needed the medical dressings signed off.
Just to add the dressing that got signed off wasn't used to treat people.
cherrycoke3000@reddit
She laughs, mostly at how funny she thinks she is, in the style of Jimmy Carr. My headphones and the machines don't even drown her out. She is a truly horrible person who says very nasty things just to try and get a rise out of you. She only stopped making horrible comments about our children when best workmates child took an overdose. She knows what it's like being a Mother because she has a sick (inbred) dog. She's also thick as pigshit and not that great at her job, but being the longest serving member of staff they think she's brilliant because she says so. I complained about her racist remarks right after the summer race/hotel attacks, and that they could easily been heard by customers. But apparently being racist is just an opinion, i.e. they'd have to sack half the staff.
And breathe.
vulgarsuperstitions@reddit
Nightmare.
Suspicious_Pea4584@reddit
Following to make sure I don’t do any of this 👀😬
vulgarsuperstitions@reddit
Same, even though I work from home 😅
The_Sown_Rose@reddit
I’ve got one colleague who always turns the conversation to be about herself. You’re talking about something your pet did that morning? She’ll tell you a story about her cat. Talking about an upcoming holiday? She’ll say how long it is until her next one. I once came in on crutches, everyone else asked what had happened (I’d left work the previous day walking without assistance) but she told me about her knee injury.
I do actually get on with her and like her, but holding a conversation with her can be challenging.
Nok1a_@reddit
Its a cultural thing, eating making lot of noise, chewing with your mouth open and slurping the soup or any kind of liquid or burping all the time, I know its cultural but sometimes drives me up the wall
Beneficial-Let-6830@reddit
I can't stand being in the room with that. Fuck that for culture
TSC-99@reddit
Arse licking
TheInterneAteMyBalls@reddit
I used to sit opposite a very tall person who would kick and swing their legs all day long... so if I wanted to stretch my legs, even just a bit, they'd be kicking me all. day. long.
I asked if they could stop it? They said no.
I asked if they could keep their legs on their side of the two desks? They said no.
I asked my TL if I could move seats? They said no.
There was more, but this feels in keeping with the thread.
Equivalent_Half883@reddit
I can just say. My roommate reads everything under his breath. Turns out he has no inner dialogue.
Drunk_Cartographer@reddit
Listening to messages or taking calls from certain people on speaker so we can all hear how amazing and important she is.
LickRust78@reddit
Wfh, so I have a coworker that eats during every meeting, with her mouth open. She pours crisps into her mouth from the bag at the end, to get every crumb. It's disgusting.
MZFUK@reddit
I feel kind of bad, because I think maybe she's genuinely got something else going on, but she consistently says "you know what I mean" and laughs like Voldemort "eh, heh, heh" in every sentence whilst making absolutely no sense. If that wasn't enough, she's also intolerable, thinks she runs the place and talks down to everybody.
I've got a colleague that drinks 500ml Red Bulls throughout the day, through to 8pm and comes in the next day complaining that she's tired and justifying the Red Bull on that day because "I wouldn't even be stood up if I wasn't drinking this".
Here's one that's more on topic to what you're talking about. There's a few colleagues that will eat snacks and things throughout the day when they aren't on lunch. That doesn't bother me, but what does bother me is that they'll eat foods like doughnuts and suck their fingers.
I wouldn't care if they were silent, I know it's possible, but it's like people have this need to make noises and slurp as they do it. The same with people who eat with their mouth full. They need to burn in a fiery pit somewhere. I can't stand it.
CliffordThRed@reddit
Mine talk too much
Conscious-Cup-6776@reddit
I work in a hospital, where we need access to several different IT systems, however our managers have not made the training for them mandatory.
I have colleagues who have not been trained in these systems - all I get all day is "I haven't got access to XYZ," Basically dumping their work on me.
I also had a colleague who spent all day fiddling on her phone. She was sacked for sickness, I can truthfully say with my hand on my heart, I do not have an ounce of sympathy for her.
resting_up@reddit
A lot of people probably don't have smelly feet. I think my bruv has the smells of several thousands.
Status-Mouse-8101@reddit
Yeah somebody who gets food stuck in their teeth because they're all loose. He constantly suck air between his teeth, blows air through his teeth, opens and closes his mouth really quickly I guess to dislodge something, opens and closes his big mouth really slowly, I guess another tactic to dislodge something? Runs his massive toad like tongue around his mouth with it open so you can to see the whole show. Sticks his fingers in his mouth to dislodge something? It's constant weird sounds and absolutely grotesque to look at. I feel stressed writing this.
Prestigious_Mark3629@reddit
I'm really feeling your frustration!
Status-Mouse-8101@reddit
Can the guy just get a bloody floss stick already
Prestigious_Mark3629@reddit
Can he just do his oral grooming in private, like almost everyone else? Gross.
zynn333@reddit
Finding a new excuse literally every single week to work from home more (we have 2 from home, 3 in the office), then the rest of us have to keep coming in more to make up for it
Bothurin@reddit
Guy who has phone notification sounds turned on and must be in 5 different group chats because everyone in the office 5 rows down can hear his phone go PLING PLING PLING all day every day. Even after I complained to him to his face, he just turned on the notifications again 10 minutes later.
spat0404@reddit
I had an old manager who sat next to me and had absolutely no office etiquette considering he was 60 and had worked soo many jobs. He used to shave with an electric shaver at his desk every morning and get hair everywhere. He’d then eat messy food at his desk, drop the food on his desk and then pick up the hairy bits of food and eat it.. whilst chewing loudly. He also happened to be incredibly overweight and diabetic which was insulin controlled. He’d regularly prick his fingers to test his blood sugar and then wipe his fingers on his desk or on anyone’s desk as he’d come over for a chat and do it at others desks. No idea how he survived in a job!
AdSufficient2473@reddit
We have a tiny staff room for around 15 people. It only has 3 chairs and a small table bug enough for 2 dinner sized plates. But they all vape any chance they get to come into the staffroom, no windows or doors. Its disgusting 🫣
Practical_Page_3790@reddit
Vape and/or using the fing body spray while someone is eating. wtf.
Live_Heat5682@reddit
I work as an engineer and someone who works there groans or moans whenever he picks something up even if it's not heavy
crankgirl@reddit
You might have misophonia, OP. I have it too and I am really bothered by little repetitive noises and movements.
FoxesFan91@reddit
I used to work with a guy who was hard of hearing. He would never wear his hearing aids and then complain that he couldn't hear anything. I understand he can't help being hard of hearing but he could at least wear his hearing aids OR not moan all the time about being unable to hear whilst not wearing them. It was a struggle
Icy_Obligation4293@reddit
As a hard of hearing person, sometimes hearing aids make it even harder to hear.
gloomfilter@reddit
Wearing hearing aids in an office is not a panacea unfortunately. In noisy environments they can make it harder to hear, and that doesn't have to be a busy bar, it can just be a fairly low level of background noise or people talking quietly.
Ok_Willingness_1020@reddit
If he uses the phone or headset most don't work with hearing aids , if that's the cases he should be looking at comparable headset , noise boards etc to make sure he can work at optimum
FoxesFan91@reddit
Yeah I understand he did have an issue with his headset and his hearing aids' lack of compatibility but I'm pretty sure he could have spoken to occy health or facilities etc. and got it sorted easily
Ok_Willingness_1020@reddit
Och etc can drag their heels and companies although they should can be quite dismissive of funding a suitable headset etc , he may be embarrassed to keep pushing them , it's not nice unless it's visible people don't understand in many cases , if it is annoying you understandably , have a word with the manager to see if och can help
FoxesFan91@reddit
I honestly think he just doesn't like wearing his hearing aids, but does like moaning about things
bacon_cake@reddit
I have a colleague like this. He doesn't have hearing aids, he just gets his ears cleaned every six months and says "I'll go for a hearing test this time" and doesn't.
What makes it worse is that it takes such a toll on me when my wife doesn't hear me at home I end up snapping at her :(
Certain-Trade8319@reddit
Asks everyone's opinion before sending every email.
Jaded_Valuable439@reddit
Urgh I have one of these! Might as well just do it myself if you’re gonna ask me what I think on every single one pal
Parking-Grade8241@reddit
My manager will 'innocently' read emails or letters we've sent and filed then say they just happened to stumble across it and feedback to us how we could improve.
They also uses the voice to text feature on Word when trying to juggle several tasks at once. Drives me crazy when Im sat in the office and all I can hear is "Dear X, comma, I am writing in regards to our meeting Full Stop."
Comfortable_Love7967@reddit
Got a guy who says like every 4th or 5th word, drives me insane
Delicious_Bag1209@reddit
I have this but “basically”.
Flowersinguitars@reddit
Shared an office with a coworker who hacked phelgm into monster energy cans all day. Like 5 times an hour, beyond grim
ParisLondon56@reddit
I hate that I knew immediately what this was
Delicious-Cut-7911@reddit
Filling your mouth with too much tea and swirling it around like a mouthwash and the swallowing it. Take smaller sips
Paulstan67@reddit
One who I worked with had the audacity to breathe in good valuable oxygen!
durkheim98@reddit
Yeah a guy who taps his feet incessantly. When he sat across from me, I was in the middle of a Teams meeting and I said, 'Can you stop doing that please'. So he started sitting at another desk and taps his feet over there now.
He also feels the need to relay common knowledge that we've already heard from the boss and he delivers it in a tone like he's in charge.
As you can imagine he's not popular. He's also into punk music and the culture and politics that goes with it, despite being a grass and an arse kisser.
Aware_Cryptographer6@reddit
We had a foot tapper, it was because he was just so desperate for you to ask if he played drums he had to pretend to play them all day
theevildjinn@reddit
I used to work with someone exactly like you describe! We started on the same day and used to go out for smoke breaks and chat about early 80s punk bands like Dead Kennedys and Minor Threat, he had the hairstyle and piercings and his partner was an artist. Both vegans.
But when we started having these departmental meetings that went on for hours with the boss of the company bellowing at us because we only worked our contracted hours, he'd sit there stroking his chin and nodding. He'd regurgitate the bullshit expressions that the boss used, in conversation.
He grassed people up for breaking the daft rules they brought in (e.g. you weren't allowed to ask someone if they wanted to go for a break or for lunch, because it might disturb their work). We had good reason to suspect he helped management draw up their list of ~30 people to make redundant, which was about a third of the workforce.
No foot tapping that I remember, but I was one of the ones who was let go in 2002. It turned out to be exactly the kick up the arse that I needed, but I've been ignoring his requests to add me on LinkedIn for about 10 years.
DragonFeller@reddit
Mixing the fucking coffee with the sugar
toxic-banana@reddit
Your colleague almost certainly has ADHD and doesn't know it.
TulipTatsyrup@reddit
She Snertches
I think that's probably a colloquialism.
It's the noise you make when your nose is full of mucus, and you inhale it at speed into your throat.
FuckedupUnicorn@reddit
I call it snorking.
mandyhtarget1985@reddit
A colleague has a permanent sinus build up, nasal voice and constant sniff due to a hole in her septum which she maintains was caused by covid. And definitely not by her massive coke habit. Its at its worst monday and Tuesday after a heavy weekend.
Its awful hearing her on the phone to clients and sniffing every 30 seconds, then approx once every 5 mins she does a massive snertch. Rather than blowing her nose before she picks up the phone. Sounds terrible and very unprofessional
el29@reddit
We have someone like this, every 10 minutes big gross sniff… a few complained to HR and they drug tested him now he’s goneeee
anonynonnymoose@reddit
I know exactly what you're talking about, it's one of my absolute pet hates. I was in hospital with a woman who was doing this every 5 minutes or so, just honking up her phlegm. Made me flinch every time.
daddy-dj@reddit
Sniffs?
bacon_cake@reddit
It's deeper than that. It's to clear a build-up of catarrh in the throat. I have this too and I'm getting surgery on my sinuses to try and fix it.
MoodyStocking@reddit
He grinds his coffee beans in a hand grinder before every cup of coffee. It takes 2 minutes to grind them sufficiently. It is very, very annoying.
New-Cheetah2172@reddit
I work in the NHS. My NURSE colleagues in my mental health team think boys can menstruate. I despair.
Throwaway91847817@reddit
The worst habits some of my colleagues have is being fucking incompetent at their jobs
Mission_Ad5721@reddit
Typing furiosly on mechanical keyboards, loud farts and burps.
FumbleMyEndzone@reddit
“It’s just a cold” Dave.
Thankfully covid put an end to this, but Dave would come to work regardless of how ill he was. His reasoning for doing this was because our boss once sent him home when he was very ill and he thought she had done it to make a point about him being sick 🤷
The day I felt one of his sneezes on my hand was a dark day
becksasgardian@reddit
My desk position was fixed due to occupational health equipment which couldn't be moved. The rest of my colleagues hot desked around me.
This particular colleague was a very large woman, who had the worst BO I've ever smelt in my life. You could smell her coming. She used to sit and waft the bottom of her top up and down, spreading the stench of outrageous BO and sweaty fanny across the office.
I had no escape.
I used to ask her if she smelt that awful stench, she never could smell anything apparently.
My manager insisted I was not allowed to tell her the stench was her. I repeatedly complained to the manager and said if I couldn't tell her then she must. Manager said there was no need as colleague was leaving to work for a different company so problem solved.
She returned within a month.
She still hasn't been told she stinks.
Wooden_Philosopher26@reddit
It has been around 24 years since I was in a similar situation to this and I can still vividly recall the smell. Gross.
NebCrushrr@reddit
Talking
Significant_Ad9019@reddit
Eat constantly, with lip-smacking. Usually hot food, which he microwaves in the middle of the morning and afternoon. It's embarrassing to go out for a team meal with him - he gobbles it down like someone's going to take it off him. If there's free food in the office he will leap up and run.
AzzTheMan@reddit
I used to work with a guy who had bad personal hygiene. He smelled, and if he'd had a shave it was in the car in the way to work, so he'd have beard trimmings down his creased shirt. He also used to breath so loud we thought he'd fallen asleep a few times. And he was terrible at his job.
Nice enough to talk to though.
buy_me_a_pint@reddit
Ex work colleagues , asking me to pull their finger , he did this to entertain me , as he knew I did not like my NVQ placement at the funeral directors , everyone who was at the training provider would have told two of them to go out and get your own sandwiches (with a few swear words before this) had they been on my placement
Vast_Resolve_8354@reddit
One guy absolutely fucking reeks. Not sure if it is a medical issue or depression or what but even on a monday morning he stinks of BO and stale tobacco. I've brought it up to the Directors but nothing gets done.
Our workshop mechanics are also incapable of not destroying the toilet. Every morning the bog looks like someone poured a bucket of brown paint in it. One of them also gets off the toilet like a toddler who can't reach the floor and slides their shitty arsehole over it, leaving skidmarks they never wipe off.
Platten__Chris@reddit
Colleagues not making a cup of tea but accepting offers from others. Makes my blood boil
Nine_Eye_Ron@reddit
I won’t make tea of coffee for anyone, also I don’t ask others to make them for me.
I like the walks to get water and other drinks, but only on my terms.
mandyhtarget1985@reddit
Im a constantly busy person, under impossible deadlines sometimes and i genuinely dont have time to make tea for everyone at times. Others will just come and set a coffee on my desk without asking and its very much appreciated. I do try to offer as soon as i arrive in the morning for whoever is there, before i get bogged down with work, and i buy soup/sandwiches/biscuits for my team at least once a week
rubber_galaxy@reddit
One of my colleagues eats so loudly all day, chews with his mouth open and will talk on the phone/to people that come into our office while eating. He is also constantly eating, has breakfast, snacks and lunch at his desk. Also he will eat fruit or something with the seeds in over the fucking bin and just spit it out directly into the bin. I want to throttle him
Apprehensive-Crab131@reddit
BOSS who throws all his legs feet and everything on the desks in front of us. He really lets himself go there. And no shoes. I come into the office the shoes are everywhere around except on people’s feet.
Also undisciplined dogs who do whatever they want. Can’t imagine badly behaved dog in office even the cuteness doesn’t help how bad the dog is
No-Tone-6853@reddit
There’s a guy in the call centre I work in that throws “on there” into sentences, says about 10 times per call, once counted how many times he said and got 14 then stopped counting. Drives me up the wall and gets a giggle out of me at the same time.
ghodsgift@reddit
Not to one up the OP. My ex-colleague would clip his nails at his desk every week. Thats calls for having hard drives checked.
Intelligent_Bug_9456@reddit
Currently listening to two colleagues discuss their hemorrhoids is great detail. 🤢
Acrobatic-Muscle4926@reddit
Crunches all his crisps up in the bag and sits and pours them all in at once, bits falling over and it sound awful. Makes me feel sick and the amount off debris left over is disgusting
Pizzagoessplat@reddit
Our bar manager never stops chomping on his finger nails and then he'll say what can I get you? 🤢🤮
hkiani@reddit
One colleague who cracks his knuckles through out the day.
Another who cracks his knuckles and neck.
Some days it’s like they are in competition with each other…
Deep_Banana_6521@reddit
I have one guy who hums constantly, all day. and references the fact that he does. If a song is playing on the radio, he'll get the melody, then hum along to it, even if he's never heard the song before. If he doesn't like the song, he hums a song he does like, over the top of the song. If somebody turns the radio off, he'll hum the last thing he was humming, constantly until somebody puts something else on or he leaves.
I think he thinks he's the "big personality" at work, because he's been there longer than anyone and is more long in the tooth, but nobody at all finds it entertaining. He'll even try and do humming solos, or hum really high pitched/loudly to bits he's obviously been practicing.
once when he was stressed out about something and there wasn't any music playing, he was just humming a monotone for about 2 straight hours as he was walking around work. We called it his "mosquito mode"
Punctum-tsk@reddit
Late every day, obsessed with his long greasy hair, changes his shirt in the kitchen, eats a loud daily then leaves the cores to roll around on our files, never files his paperwork, guards information, talks at length about lots of things despite being ill-informed, jiggles his leg, plays finger drums on his desk, clicks his pen whilst talking to you, eats his lunch at his desk whilst making personal calls, rubs his teeth down with a napkin at his desk whilst talking to you, works incredibly slowly so constantly gets the juniors to research then implement his projects, constantly seeks assurances, wears an 'I'm a feminist' badge but doesn't act like a feminist. Is fucking infuriatingly useless yet paid double what everyone else in the room is paid.
Thereg0esmyhero@reddit
He’s loud, smells weird, interrupts me during important tasks and just generally never leaves me alone. He also hovers over me constantly and micro-manages me despite not being my superior😐
Here’s the culprit
goodmythicalmickey@reddit
I don't know what it is she does but every now and then she does something that makes all four tables vibrate for about 10 seconds, including my monitors that already look like they're going to fall over and my bottle that has a dent in it that makes a clanging noise if it moves even slightly on a hard surface (I use my notebook as a coaster to dampen the noise)
schmerg-uk@reddit
We have an occasional visitor to the office who does a loud hard-back-of-throat snort, y'know the kind of thing to properly clear your throat, every minute or two, mid-conversation including meetings and I honestly don't think he notices that he's doing it but it's kind of gross
KezzaK2608@reddit
Sounds like my brother in law.
SilverellaUK@reddit
I have a friend who does this. I don't think she knows either.
minisrugbycoach@reddit
Ask me how my weekend was, or how my holidays.
Seriously, stop. I don't care about yours so don't ask about mine.
footstool411@reddit
I used to be like this. They’re really just trying to be nice and get to know you with the ultimate aim of making your work an easier place to be. You’ll feel better about it if you just go with it. If you don’t want to give up the info then just say “fine” or “great” then immediately ask them a question back. But life is too short to get pissy about this.
pajamakitten@reddit
Reddit dies not understand basic socialising. People like friendly people and you can get a lot of Brownie points if you just play the game and show mild interest in your colleagues.
irving_braxiatel@reddit
I swear half of Reddit is “I hate working with other people, I just get inundated with asinine questions about my pets and the weather all the time”, and the other half is “I’m 35, how I do make friends, I’m so lonely”
asharkonamountaintop@reddit
I'm both of those
pajamakitten@reddit
Could someone who is not me replace reagents, run controls, fill out paperwork and organise breaks and lunch so we do not all go at once?
LordAxalon110@reddit
They exist.
ATerriblePurpose@reddit
I’d like a job whereby we work and go home. Don’t talk to me. Don’t ask me about my weekend. Don’t ask me for drinks. I have friends outside of work who are friends. At work. People are colleagues. Not friends. I like to keep it entirely professional. The inclination for small talk is baffling. Ask me help with something sure, then just stay silent. I absolutely know I’m the odd one. I’m under no illusion that I’m being reasonable either. It’s just how I feel.
jazzyjeffdahmer@reddit
I've got this colleague that has this annoying habit of ramming his head up the bosses arse every morning he turns the poor bloke into a minotour
jkatarn@reddit
Had a colleague that loves to shake his leg loudly when he is sitting anywhere. It’s noisy like a construction site and he wouldn’t stop even after people telling him to
txakori@reddit
How on earth does one shake one’s leg loudly?
jkatarn@reddit
Leather shoes, hard sole, heels knocking on floor strongly.
Weak_Life7907@reddit
Constant obnoxious coughing and clearing of throat. If you heard it wouldn't believe it.
Girly_TRex@reddit
A few colleagues use either perfumes and/or spray deodorant a few times a day while at their desks. I don't get it, the bathrooms are 1 min away, I don't want the office to smell like a lush store
These-Purchase-728@reddit
I once had a colleague who just tried too hard to be funny.
I think it must have been a sort of life goal of his, to crack that ultimate joke that would make the whole room cry with laughter and something we would share with our grandkids one day.
It was probably well-meaning, but unfortunately, he just wasn’t that funny. Even times when he shared work stories, he just had an ability to somehow ruin a genuine funny stories. Most of us just gave a hard exhale to be polite.
But then one day he decided to dial it up and performed edgy-er jokes. To get more of a reaction from people, i guess.
Sexist, racist, ableist, dead people jokes, etc.
We had all just got so tired of it.
CaughtSluggin@reddit
David Brent?
Beanotown@reddit
Colin Hunt?
McFigroll@reddit
I have a couple. He hasn't done it for a while but he used to take some phone calls on loud speaker. Another one, if you were having a conversation with someone, instead of being polite and subtly eavesdropping they would literally turn around in their chair and look at you as if they were part of the chat.
iatecurryatlunch@reddit
I used to work with a woman like that. Tapped her feet hard enough to rock the desk. She would answer questions not directed at her, but she wouldn't join the conversation. Someone would ask me something, and from 5m away, she'd say 'what?' but then keep looking at her screen as though she said nothing. She has ADHD or something. She was annoying af but she couldn't help it.
Guy across from me keeps stretching his legs over and kicking me. Or I'd touch his feet when I moved my feet.
LagerBitterCider197@reddit
Some twat I worked with about 9 years ago who'd sing constantly all day.
Fortunately he was sacked after about two weeks.
equatorsion@reddit
One of my colleagues plays with this really large wooden pencil all the time while working. He twirls it in his fingers and them bangs it against the desk. He also taps with his feet and hums sometimes. I am always trying to tolerate it for a while and then I just say his name and tell him, please stop. It works for at least half an hour and then he starts again.
In one of my part time jobs during uni, I have been working in an office with an older guy sitting a couple meters in front of me. He was farting the whole day, like every 30 minutes, there has been this horrible stench climbing up from below the desk. I could not believe it... It was constant and that was the reason all the other full time workers were sitting on the other side of the room and this one desk close to him was empty - suitable for part time people :-) He probably had some health issue but it was so so smelly.
true_bluep3n1s@reddit
Just generally existing...
Ok_Willingness_1020@reddit
Shouting all the time but if they are on a break and talking on mobile lower their voice so they are aware if their volume they just don't care or are trying to get attention all the time .The recommend a friend scheme leads to clicks talking about their old job all the time and former colleagues , toilet habits vile , telling you about every call or chat they got , when it's what everyone on the floor dies !
kink-of-wands@reddit
I had a flatmate who was constantly whistling, non-stop. You'd think that with this much practice, he'd be good at it, but he wasn't. We worked from home during covid, and I couldn't move out.
TheKnightsRider@reddit
They audibly suck the catarrh from their sinus into the throat with their mouth closed.
pruaga@reddit
I have a colleague who stinks, like really stinks. I'm in the office today and I can feel my throat tingling since he arrived.
He is one of the main reasons I avoid the office as much as possible.
prythillyrian@reddit
One of the people on my desk area watches YouTube on their break and they eat SO LOUDLY. Their headphones probably make it 100% worse but omg if I forget my headphones I just plot their demise all day
Unusual_residue@reddit
Laughing after each and every sentence spoken.
Wooden_Wolf_4982@reddit
Thinking they know it all. Yet every single day they are proved wrong, every single day without fail and they still stand by what they say !
c0tch@reddit
Wait for her to read out sensitive information in an email and then report it.
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