Learning programming by yourself is lonely

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boleban8@reddit

Life is a lonely journey. One is born and dies alone. As an adult, one should learn to adapt to and enjoy loneliness.

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Jacobbb1214@reddit

this reminds me of that one famous true detective line "I just want you to stop saying odd shit"

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luciusan1@reddit

Nothing to be sad about. Solitude is marvelous

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I wouldn't go that far. I would say one should learn to adapt to and enjoy being alone and one's own company. Loneliness itself on the other hand, no. And I speak as someone who enjoys my own company and likes to do things alone, and is being consumed by my loneliness, which I consider a different issue altogether.

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opensrcdev@reddit

Agreed 100%

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deftware@reddit

It’s just you and the code

That's my jam. I want to be left alone. I can't be left alone enough. I'm not coding for the world or anyone else. I'm coding because it's super enjoyable. It's not a task to endure for a reward at the end. The reward IS the task.

That's the way it's been for me, at least, over the last 30 years.

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moistnoodel@reddit

This is what im trying to get to self learn to code and then have a carrier with mostly me and code ofcourse there is meetings and such.

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Roosterru@reddit

Creator of PixelCNC casually dropping some life advice that doesn't just apply to programming.

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deftware@reddit

...That's not to say that I don't go out of my way to help my end-users get the most out my wares! It's a privilege and an honor for people to get value out of my work, but at the end of the day I just love the process and problem-solving that coding entails. There's nothing else like it :]

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Imperial_Squid@reddit

Yeah I'm the same (though probably on a lower level given your experience lol)

I recently released a TTS plugin for Zotero and it's been incredible to see so many people tell me it's been useful to them (I've actually started keeping a note of lovely comments as an antidote to imposter syndrome). The plugin only has a couple thousand users (which is way more than I ever expected, but still a little fish in the grand scale of things), but the feeling that it's helpful to people is still incredible!

But, 90% of why I do this is still the problem solving aspect to me. It's brilliant once you get to the level of expertise where you're thoroughly confident with the language and general approaches you should take to problems, then anything that comes up feels like a mix between an art and a science as you construct your solutions, and later becomes a puzzle as you inevitably encounter a wrinkle you didn't consider and need to unpack why it happened and what you can do about it.

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PeachFalse@reddit

man I can't even get past level 1 in the python web challenge yet. Don't ever feel like an imposter, you're doing things light years ahead of some of us AND you're improving people's lives. Whether its 1, 100 or a thousand people. You're doing awesome

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LookMomImLearning@reddit

Right? I love to collab with people, but only if it’s people I want to collab with. When a group selection is random (CS Major) and you get the few that want the paper for a job so they are absolutely useless, I hate it.

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Repulsive_Phase4378@reddit (OP)

I enjoy coding, and i enjoy coding solo, it just feels bad that i cant converse with others afterwards

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deftware@reddit

Sure you can. You're conversing with me right now. Just find more subreddits that are relevant to what you're doing and share your accomplishments there. Find a Discord or something, that's what the kids are into these days, right? In my day we had IRC, which wasn't owned and operated and censored like Discord is today. IRC wasn't as powerful as Discord, but it also was free and open for anybody to create a real server for others to create IRC channels on, and anybody could connect to any server and idle in the channels on there. People are idling all over the internet, you just have to find where.

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l4rry_burner@reddit

l4rry slaps deftware around a bit with a large trout

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arkvesper@reddit

oh my god that takes me back haha

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daNtonB1ack@reddit

Lol, I'm just a student so a newbie..... But it's way easier to do stuff when alone than in like our class...Easier to focus.

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Kurdipeshmarga@reddit

Same here

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Another-Show1212@reddit

Coding is writing. Writing is since a Long Time a lonely, nice thing.

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Proper_Guess_7091@reddit

The learning part is the most exciting thing for me - and it requires no one else. There’s an endless world of knowledge that you can’t hope to scratch the surface of in a lifetime. You’re not going to impress people, and if that’s your goal, then you’re in it for the wrong reasons. Find something you’re passionate about and look for ways to interact with people who share that passion. You could volunteer your skills to a lot of good causes, join a club, find a free workshop, a discord as others have said. There’s plenty of ways to interact with people that arent in a classroom

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iamevpo@reddit

I also feel quite lonely developing open source that requires domain expertise - it is lower level so you actually need to know to program, not a GUI, and it is domain-specific, so that programmers will not love it either, feels like you are in a dead valley between two highly specialized groups of people that are bridged by an end-user product that generates several billion dollars in sales, but looking on a deeper level how that works in principle, there is practically no one, a specialised group on linkedin is 15 members and a post once a month or so.

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Bacon-80@reddit

“A professor who you feel like you can impress” - and who might fail you over and over again because you don’t understand a concept. Or who will talk down to you after you don’t grasp something the first time 🤷🏻‍♀️ some are good, some suck balls.

“Classmates you can compete with” - who will absolutely break you down or isolate you because you aren’t as good as them, or because you’re better than them

Idk about you dude but I hated my engineering classes. They moved so slowly, and the grading on tests/quizzes were absolutely maddening. I’d get minuscule points off of stuff because “it’s still a good grade” meanwhile my dumb professors don’t realize those points affect my GPA and the difference between the top 3 honors to graduate with 🤷🏻‍♀️ it was really frustrating at times. Like I loved my college friends and all, but I wouldn’t say I loved my classes 💀 or class atmosphere. It was filed with pompous engineers who thought they knew better than everyone lol.

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Repulsive_Phase4378@reddit (OP)

The part about not moving at your own pace bothers me too actually

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Bacon-80@reddit

For school or self learning? Self learning you should absolutely be able to move at your own pace unless you’re in a boot camp or online course with people lol.

I hated when concepts were drawn out when they could be learned in a single class period 🤣 and then other ones that required longer times had to be crammed into the schedule, because we’d spent too long on a more simple concept, but had midterms or finals coming up and had to get it all in by then.

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Repulsive_Phase4378@reddit (OP)

For school, that’s why I don’t like school. Done classes I felt like I could learn like three lessons today and others I might’ve wanted to spend a bit more time on something

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Bacon-80@reddit

Absolutely - it’s my biggest gripe about school tbh

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xboxhobo@reddit

All I can say is school is not the bastion of community you think it is. It's still a very solo experience.

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rnnd@reddit

Not at all. I did computer science in uni, after the first semester I and 5 friends formed a study group and we always practiced and learned together. Unlike you're very antisocial, all you need to do is get out there and talk to your classmates. Whiles some won't have an interesting in computer science or programming there are always passionate people in every computer science class in university.

I see no reason whatsoever for it to be a solo experience when you got classmates.

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Bacon-80@reddit

Eh it really depends. Like if OPs personality sucked then they’d be lonely either way 🤣

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Korona123@reddit

Programming is lonely..

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michaelscott-beesinc@reddit

Back when I was working in a non-tech field I used to crave to be alone to do the work but I feel the same when learning to code, cuz in a class there's interaction like you said and also as humans we crave some sort of acknowledgement and validity that you're doing a good job. I had joined a few discords and slack channel, people are helpful there but it's not the same as a in-person human interaction

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chuongdks@reddit

Dont know where you live, but couldnt you join like a Hackathon or a coding competition if you want the human element

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ShvettyBawlz@reddit

Jesus these thread responses suck. It doesn’t have to be alone. There are discord and Facebook groups where you can celebrate these wins. Or online courses that have separate channels to join. Point is learning anything doesn’t have to be a solo activity. Meet-up groups, or even start something yourself. Don’t let solo be your only option if it isn’t for you.

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Repulsive_Phase4378@reddit (OP)

thats just not really convenient in the same way school is

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WildWolfo@reddit

honestly school is only good at getting you started anyway, youll have to make it an important hobby to progress at reasonable speeds, so youll be spending most your coding time alone anyway

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Imperial_Squid@reddit

This is going to sound harsh, and that's because it is, but it needs saying.

If you know you're lonely, and you think that's a problem, but you know where to find people, and you deliberately don't interact with those people, you are choosing to be lonely mate.

(Which is fine if that's your style, plenty of people are lone wolves)

It's that old "you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink" phrase. We can tell you how to feel less lonely, but it's up to you to do it at the end of the day... 🤷

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throwawayPzaFm@reddit

These other guys are peak learned helplessness... "everyone dies alone". Bullshit. You get out what you put in.

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gjmreborn1@reddit

Hi, I'm mentor from "zero to hero" (no knowledge required!!!) in C C++ operating systems development, embedded, linux/windows kernel, game development (unity as well opengl directx - everythig from scratch), LINUX, aws, whole architecture devops and so on!!! If somebody wants to know more details or is interested please write on DM/PM to me or at grzegorzmalyska720@gmail.com mail!

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Imperial_Squid@reddit

Then show it off to people?

Learning code doesn't mean you're stuck in a hole until you're sufficiently experienced enough to be a True Programmer or something.

You can still make fun little projects at any level of experience, the only difference is that they get bigger and flashier, but the stuff you make is always worth showing off.

If you have real life friends who'll appreciate what you're doing, make something for them and show them. One of my first projects when I was starting out was a janky little noughts and crosses (/tic tac toe) command line game. And it was great fun showing it off to a friend, playing a game or two, and finding a shit tonne of bugs in the process lol.

And if you don't have anyone irl who'll appreciate your work, there's tonnes of beginner communities for various languages where you can get support and celebrate successes. Python in particular has like 2 or 3 I think.

If you're feeling lonely and like you don't have anyone to show off to, find those people.

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ybreddit@reddit

If you feel that way I'm not sure programming is for you. It's definitely primarily a solo event. It attracts people who like to be left alone. Even I prefer coating alone, and I'm technically a more social creature. I want someone I can reach out to if I have a question, and Google isn't quite cutting it, but beyond that, trying to pairs program is infuriating. Solo is the way to go. So if you don't enjoy doing it solo, you might want to look into something else that will also give you what you seem to be seeking, which is something you can be competitive with and is by nature competitive.

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BroaxXx@reddit

In class there was a lot less completion and a lot more collaboration.

And I'm sure everyone can share a different experience but from my experience most teachers don't give two fucks about your attempts to impress.

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Repulsive_Phase4378@reddit (OP)

Collaboration, competition, I mainly just meant interaction with people who are on the same path you’re on

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Character-Release976@reddit

It’s honestly a personal preference but I feel the same way but you can always look for an online group and try to find a senior or junior in your area that might be able to help you that’s what I did and though we’re at different levels we at least hold each other accountable. That helped me a lot.

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rnnd@reddit

That's always my advice for learning programming, find someone to learn with. Find a friend who has the same interest in programming. It helps a lot and keeps you motivated. It's the same with exercising and many other disciplines. Doing it alone can be tough.

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Level9CPU@reddit

The solution is a rubber ducky on your desk whenever you code

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Repulsive_Phase4378@reddit (OP)

lol, I saw that in cs50

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tboneee97@reddit

What language are you learning? I'm in a discord channel with a few others and I hop in the voice chat everyday hoping they will too but they never do.

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DickOrNoDick@reddit

Join the 100Devs Discord!

100Devs started as a free online bootcamp during the pandemic. The whole mantra of the program is that you're not self taught, you're community taught.

Right now there are DAILY office hours on Discord to discuss the job hunt, talk about imposter syndrome, discuss feelings of doubt, and do some practice problems. But more importantly for your post, the Discord is VERY active and people discuss homework from the bootcamp, work on group projects together, do interview prep, and share projects they've been working on.

If you or anyone reading this is just starting to learn, 100Devs has been incredible in actually getting me to commit to learning to program and having a community to push past just completing Udemy courses and actually make stuff. Leon Noel, the guy who runs it, is a great teacher and amazing hype man.

There's a new cohort starting soon, but you can follow along with the recorded sessions right now using this site: 100Devs Progress Tracker (which was made by an alumni of the program for their portfolio).

Resources to get started:

Official Site: #100Devs
100Devs Cohort 2: YouTube Playlist

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NikitaBerzekov@reddit

Welcome to life

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lunacraz@reddit

i know bootcamps get shit on, but this was really the #1 draw of this

you have instructors who (hopefully) know things you don't know

and you're in a situation with other people who are in the same boat as you, pushing you to be better

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snobpro@reddit

I love programming and loosing myself in it. But why i feel bad sometimes is when i go out with my friends i have no interesting stories to share!! So i agree with you.

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cookienotes@reddit

Learn out loud. Stream your grind.

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Altruistic_Virus_908@reddit

Need to build consistency in some way

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MuaTrenBienVang@reddit

Sad but it's true.

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topman20000@reddit

Agreed

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opensrcdev@reddit

I don't want to compete or compare with anyone else. I learn what's interesting to me, and that's that.

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Mikkelet@reddit

If learning something is not fun - even by youself - then maybe its not for you

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Loquemas@reddit

These comments wtf, join a community and a discord and you won't be alone lol. Codecademy (depending on how far along you are in your journey) has really nice communities based on the course/career path you're following. Sign up for some newsletters too!

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DisastrousAd3216@reddit

Ok so I will comment onto this. It's not really depressing but it makes you wonder if you are doing this because the pay is big?

You may want to ask yourself if you really like this job otherwise you might have issues in the future.

I dont want to get other people the wrong idea it is lonely. It's not, it is a combination of getting angry, relaxing and getting tilted again because the code isnt working. But man it feels so good to see it work.

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bjornum@reddit

It sure can be, especially in the beginning.

There is a difference in learning from scratch vs adding another language to the belt.

From acratch having someone to ask, to kinda narrow all the content down abit, adding structure helps.

Adding another language, then you been through it before. You know ish what steps you need to take, and the ocean of information are no longer such a scary and confusing place.

Also: nobody are ever able to drink the ocean, only sipping the water scopped up in the cup. Meaning: there are no person who knows it all. You slowly gain more and more wisdom as you drink, but dont set too much pressure on yourself to learn it all

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Ok_Butterfly_6913@reddit

That the whole point

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No_Strength_414@reddit

100% I can relate to that! And btw do you wanna learn together and keep each other accountable coz I’m learning it on my own rn. Let me know if you’re interested

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Upset-Juggernaut-218@reddit

Which language, with what goal, and what level of experience?

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No_Strength_414@reddit

C, Python and JavaScript. Trying to get the fundamentals down and get a better job. 2yrs of experience working at a small startup

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Upset-Juggernaut-218@reddit

Any C++?

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drawnalive@reddit

This is precisely why enjoy teaching myself things. Seeing others that should be your level excel can be discouraging, because it makes you feel like programming is their thing, not yours. You may not always get the most efficient tasks from your professors that suit your style of learning, or have to take entire classes you're not into. Sometimes the classes are too fast for you te keep up, sometimes so slow you feel held back.

When you're on your own, everything you do is intrinsically motivated. Rather than someone telling you what is important, you find it out yourself by learning it when you need it. Classes often feel like they reduce the learning goal to whatever the class teaches, discouraging you to go beyond, while when you're alone, the sky is the limit.

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Novaxxxxx@reddit

Depends.

I went to school and pretty much lone wolfed it. I did the group projects as needed, but mostly just stayed in my own lane.

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Slodin@reddit

“It’s just you and the code, and when you complete something that was particularly difficult you’ve got no one to show it off too”

Meanwhile many of the programing subs have people showing off what they did and engage in discussions lol

It's only lonely when you make it so. At least I like it that way, I will show stuff if I want to. Answer nothing if I don't want to. It's all YOUR CHOICE, nothing to do with programming or not, this is a life choice.

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First_Ad_9444@reddit

Omg bro, i feeling the same emotion.

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tomraddle@reddit

You can find an internet community. As for me, I prefer the alone way.

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totalnewb02@reddit

i feel acomplished when i was learning alone, until a good samaritan offered a free python class. very soon i am left behind. by left behind i meant left behind, it is like race between a formula 1 car by foot. the other currently learning to do snake games, while i am currently stuck doing argument assignment.

not gonna give up though. i am curious what happened when i put my mind into programming, and where it will take me.

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BL00_12@reddit

Tbh learning anything by yourself is lonely. I dig it though, but it'd be nice to be able to compare your skills to someone else just to get a feel for your progress.

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Arthian90@reddit

I’ve spent like 4 hours of my off time this week writing recursive array validation methods.

I have no purpose for these, they aren’t for a project, I have no input to validate, I just wanted to create a cool class with nicely structured syntax. It’s a similar feeling to building a model city or something.

I can’t imagine showing other programmers something like this, they’d think I was a lunatic!

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nonsenseless@reddit

I second the suggestions for joining a discord but also consider starting a meetup. It’ll probably still be lonely at times but having a set time to meet each week will keep you accountable and over time you’ll draw in peers and grow your local community.

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OneNiceGuy124@reddit

Get a gf and show her all your projects

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dinidusam@reddit

Maybe, until you realize your "impressive projects" are shit compared to your classmates who made an app that's used by thousands while you made something basic :/

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throwaway6560192@reddit

Join a Discord for your preferred language

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Jaybrosia@reddit

That's why you get good enough to the point where you can program a gf/bf.

There is light at the end of the tunnel!

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crustyBallonKnot@reddit

That’s why I love it, solving problems is for you! and you can celebrate with a small fist pump in the air, people will notice and smile because they get it in our office I see people doing it and it makes me laugh and appreciate the struggle and love for programming. Once you start working professionally you’ll see why it’s truly gratifying.

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