Took my wife to the ER. UPDATE
Posted by Majik_Sheff@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 256 comments
Thank you to EVERYONE for your support and caring words. I cannot express how much they helped to get us through a time where we felt very much alone and afraid.
So... Where to begin?
It turns out she has right-side heart failure with mid stage liver disease. The root cause? Sleep. Fucking. Apnea.
The prognosis has moved from weeks to years, so now we make the best of the time we have. Turns out my wife can even keep the reaper himself waiting.
Lessons learned:
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Treat your damn sleep apnea.
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Heart attacks can feel like heartburn, constipation, gas, pulled muscles, and gallstones.
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If your pee suddenly changes color, you are no longer in wait-and-see mode; you are in get your ass to the ER mode.
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I was not not prepared for the moment I thought I was going to lose the woman I've shared the last 20 years with.
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Nothing is promised in this life. Least of all time. Tell people you love them.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
I had no idea sleep apnea could do this.
I’m so glad she has more time.
I bet you can turn that into a Lot of years.
Thank you.
CheesecakeVisual4919@reddit
Untreated sleep apnea greatly increases the risk of heart attack and strokes. It's basically what killed Carrie Fisher. Basically, when you sleep without treatment, your heart, brain, and other vital organs don't get enough oxygen to continue functioning at peak level. Left untreated long enough it's a killer.
Before I was on treatment, I was tired 24/7. Frankly, at 60, I have more energy using a CPAP than I did at 45 without one.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
I recently was asked if I snore (by a Dr) in my sleep and I said “In the last few years, yes.. a lot”.
Can a person just get a cpap machine themselves? I’ll look into that. (Probably not, I assume).
I’d better take this more seriously I’m a terrible sleeper. It gets worse by the year. (47 F).
Thank you for your comment.
dfjdejulio@reddit
Might not be apnea. I'm a terrible sleeper and I snore, but I've done sleep studies. No apnea here. I also monitor my blood oxygenation when I sleep, and that's good too.
80swyldchyld@reddit
Might I ask what you use to monitor your blood oxygen levels when you sleep?
Need4Speeeeeed@reddit
It's not a medical device, but a Samsung Galaxy watch monitors SPO2 during sleep. It can give you an idea of whether to pursue a sleep study and treatment. The feature is also built into the Apple Watch, but it's disabled for the time being on at least the new ones due to a patent dispute.
dfjdejulio@reddit
r/GenX/comments/1gk6ffr/took_my_wife_to_the_er_update/lvjm45i/
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
I wonder what category I fall into. I suppose I’ll find out soon.
dfjdejulio@reddit
Ask your doctor for a sleep study. They have home kits for this -- they mail you a thing that you strap to your face and glue to your other parts, then you sleep in your own bed, then you send it back. It doesn't have to be an overnight visit in a strange place anymore.
EricHill78@reddit
That's great to know. I have been avoiding it due to having to sleep at some hospital. My son is autistic and my not being there would affect his routine. I'll talk to my doctor about it.
LizzaPizzaroo@reddit
Your son's routine would be greatly affected if you're no longer around. You gotta take care of yourself in order to take care of others. Hope you follow up!
blueboatmich66@reddit
This is great information!! I thought you had to go to the hospital for this study. Thank you for sharing.
ElleGeeAitch@reddit
I did a home study through lofta.com.
Murderbot_of_Rivia@reddit
My husband put it off for 10 years and would shut me down everything I brought it up. Finally a year ago I said "I don't know if you are afraid of the sleep study but they let you do those at home now, so you should talk to your doctor" He's been on the CPAP for about 6 months now and it's been great!
vovo76@reddit
It’s about 6 months since my husband got his CPAP machine too, and it’s been amazing for both of our sleep, because he doesn’t snore anymore!
KismetSarken@reddit
I became an obnoxious needler with my husband. I have a brother who's had 2 heart attacks, and my dad had 2 heart attacks. Both were directly attributed to their sleep apnea. I became passive aggressive as fuck, after asking him repeatedly to get checked, because I didn't want him to die. It took asking him to get the gap insurance on the mortgage so I wouldn't lose the house when he dies. He's been a cpap for almost a year now.
C-romero80@reddit
Yeah now they have devices you can use at home. I haven't done one myself but it's definitely more convenient and I'm willing to be more accurate
dfjdejulio@reddit
It's also cheaper, which I believe means insurance is more likely to cover it.
myopicpickle@reddit
They also have something that isn't even that invasive. I took home a device that you strap onto your wrist, like a large Fitbit, with a finger gauge for oxygen. You just turn it in on the morning and get a printout a few days later.
dfjdejulio@reddit
That measures fewer stats, though. The one I used didn't just measure blood oxygenation and pulse and the like, but also directly measured actual airflow from breathing and ECG.
myopicpickle@reddit
I'm not sure how much yours measures, but this one gave me about 6 pages of stats and graphs and stuff.
kddean@reddit
The difference between the two tests is yours (nocturnal oximetry study), which measures your heart rate and SpO2 or saturation of oxygen. It tells you how many times you drop below 90% and for how long, how many events you have an hour, etc. The other test is a polysomnography (sleep study) that measures your brain waves and can see what stage of sleep you are on in. The nocturnal oximetry is used a lot as a test to see if a sleep study is waaranted.
Angie_stl@reddit
WHAT???? I hate going there and these days I’m pretty sure they’d look poorly upon my “sleep medicine”!! I know I have apnea but can’t handle the mask for the machine. I keep thinking I need to look up the device they put in the back of your tongue I think but I forget. I need it and the new “pacemaker for the gut” to add to my regular pacemaker/defibrillator and I’ll be set to be Iron Woman!! Grrrr!! (See how scary I am?)
scribblinkitten@reddit
While that’s generally true, if you’re on opiates you’ll have to have the study done in a clinic setting. Found this out recently when my daughter needed a sleep study done. She’s on meds for chronic pain.
lakuetene@reddit
dang. i was getting excited bc i have heart disease and very poor sleep. Alas, I also take opiates for chronic pain, which keeps me from sleeping bc the pain alone wakes me up a couple of times per night.
dfjdejulio@reddit
I did not know this! Thanks for the info.
lakuetene@reddit
Thank you for explaining. I had no idea I could do a sleep study at home. My GP asked if i wanted to do one and I said no bc I thought i would be miserable hooked up to monitors in some hospital room.
Greenscreener@reddit
Apps like SnoreLab can give you an indication of your snoring and can link with watches etc for O2 correlation etc... free versions work well.
Jaaaa9@reddit
There's something called UARS that they don't always quite catch in the current studies. I say that not to scare you, but to let you know that if the home test is negative for sleep apnea, it might be worth nudging your provide a bit to see if you can get an in-lab test that would reveal more information. If supported by your symptoms, of course.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
Thanks..
I’ve learned a lot of new (to me) health facts just this week.
DogsGoingAround@reddit
I sound wealthy with my comments, I’m really not, but I have been treated for sleep apnea for over 20 years so I know a bit about it. Anyway, I think an Apple Watch can tell you a lot about how you are sleeping. There is a new sleep apnea feature. I was going to set it up but it said it wasn’t for diagnosed people that use a CPAP.
Mr_Stimmers@reddit
This is what I’m doing right now. I have a consultation for a home sleep study, but it’s not until the end of January (called for a referral weeks ago). I pair that with an Oura ring and those track a bunch of stats together.
dundreggen@reddit
You can also not snore and have bad sleep apnea .. I got asked so many times if I snore. Only when I have a cold. But seems I quietly just stop and start breathing on average every 2 minutes whilst asleep.
LittleFalls@reddit
Just so you know, sleep studies are done at home now. They send the equipment home with you and it transmits all the data. I know a lot of people are hesitant to get one done, thinking they’ll have to do it at a facility.
Also, the cpap machine sends data to your doctor, so they can monitor your sleep quality.
glhaynes@reddit
Just adding a data point: I’m in North Texas (USA) and recently did a couple of sleep studies and they were both at a facility. Doing something at home was never mentioned as an option.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
Oh good I was nervous about a clinic. I’d never get to sleep there.
Bigbluehouse1@reddit
Me either. Thought it would be a waste of time because I wouldn’t sleep well at a clinic
Commercial-Novel-786@reddit
I don't know who needs to read this, and I didn't know where else to post this.
I have a CPAP, and it's done squat for me. It was prescribed as the result of a dumb home study where you wear a ring device. When I wear the CPAP, I can't be anything but totally relaxed because it doesn't give me enough air. (I'm way above average in height, which means my lungs are bigger and intake is greater than your average person.) But it does keep me from snoring.
I've had a few other home studies, because I'm pushing for a REAL, IN LAB sleep study. I've been waking up with chest pains the last couple of months. Thankfully I have one at the very end of the year. But note this... one of the studies did not specify NOT wearing the CPAP... so I wore it during the test and I STILL rang positive for sleep apnea.
I guess my point is, be prepared to fight for yourself and be your own advocate.
General-Ad2398@reddit
It sounds like your minimum pressure on the CPAP might be too low. Usually they come with really broad and low starting pressure settings that can make people feel like they are gasping for air. Have you discovered the sleep apnea board and OSCAR software? There is also a reddit I'm sure you've seen. But if you can record you data and upload it to the boards they are fantastic about helping get the best settings dialed in.
Commercial-Novel-786@reddit
I've tried everything I know to set the pressures to no avail. I have a legit sleep study at the end of the year and I'll go from there. Until then, I won't snore. I'll get there.
Thank you get much for your post! You rule!!
General-Ad2398@reddit
Good luck! I think the biggest thing I've learned is it is a journey getting used to CPAP and dialing in the right settings. The doctors make you think oh here just take this home and magically everything will be better overnight. The first night is often awful, because sometimes take weeks or months to really get it sorted out. I gave up for much of this year and I'm trying again.
Commercial-Novel-786@reddit
Reading your previous post again, my dumb brain skipped over the apnea board and Oscar software part. Can you tell me more?
I work with computers and complex software for I'm not a total idiot, but I have tried adjusting and couldn't make it happen.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
I’m currently in this boat for another issue which turned out to be serious.
And my GP hates me for it. I fought to be seen and he erased all of my records on portal so the other Dr was at the very least confused and a little bit thinks I’m a liar.
I just want to know IS IT CANCER. Not unreasonable. And it should have never taken a whole year. I really am having a hard time finding or trusting medical professionals anymore. I can’t believe what I read in my after visit summary from GP. Total fkn liar and this whole time I thought he liked me ok as a patient.
But it’s true what they say I guess. If they work Ina hospital they work for the hospital so he let terrible labs slide as worse problems make more $ for the system.
I am kind of in a freeze state after finding this out last week. I cried for a day like a child just stunned.
Sorry for the trauma dump.
Commercial-Novel-786@reddit
Can you request a hard copy of all your records?
Sounds like this person needs to be fired at the least, and possibly reported.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
I can try. I’m too much in a state of shock right now to go to that hospital. He works there.
I can print out my portal and the pharmacy has proof (that he prescribed to me since 2021).
I feel betrayed and shocked.
Commercial-Novel-786@reddit
Time is of the essence, my friend. Have someone go with you if that's what it takes, but you need to convey your information to others. I know it sucks right now, but you gotta fight for yourself.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
I know you’re right. I can’t seem to muster up the energy.
Like a punch in the gut. But yeah I have to fix this.
Commercial-Novel-786@reddit
I'm sorry you're having to fight multiple fronts. Nobody should ever be in that position.
But please, try to find it in you. It's a one time thing though. Get pissed off that this asshole is railroading YOUR health and get those records. You might be able to request via phone.
clarklynch@reddit
It’s better to get a CPAP machine after having a sleep study. The doctors can adjust the flow for your particular breathing situation. The things others have said about feeling more energetic unrested are all true.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
It on my medical to do list.
Cczaphod@reddit
You can order an at home sleep study device online for less than a hundred bucks. You do need a prescription to order a device, but take your sleep study report to any doctor and you can get the required prescription.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
Neat. I appreciate online medical services ( ever since Covid I’m surprised to see the things one can do online, medically… without even leaving your house).
DarkGreenSedai@reddit
Hey friend. So I knew I snored a bit but it took my then 7 year old taking a video of me on her tablet to show me before I told my Dr. I had no idea how bad it was. I mean, by default you are asleep/unconscious while it is occurring.
My PCP sent a referral to the sleep doc. 3 weeks later I had an appointment and an at home sleep study scheduled for the following week. Did the study on a Monday, follow up appointment to talk about it on that Thursday. Went on Friday to get all the goodies. So 5 weeks from “hey doc I snore” to having all the stuff.
Co pay for the appointments. 200$ after insurance for the sleep study. And the cpap was 6$ a month as long as I used it a minimum of 4.5 hours a night for 85% of the month. That was just for the 1st year. It’s mine now. Insurance isn’t willing to pay if you aren’t using it. My supplies are about 20$ a month after insurance but I like the way that my mask fits so I’m not interested in getting a set up that takes cheaper supplies. The cheaper set up made me feel a little claustrophobic.
Btw. I BARELY tested with enough apnea to do treatment. Like BARELY. I was the bottom number of the “borderline” threshold. But, I was symptomatic. I just didn’t know that I was as symptomatic as I was. I always felt like I never got enough sleep. Even in my 20s. At the time I got diagnosed I was in my mid to late 30s. I had a bigger kid. I had a two year-old, I was still breast-feeding. I have a job. I thought that life just made you really tired.
At this point, I would fight you for my CPAP machine. I love it. I can function now on five hours of sleep the way it used to take 11 to do. I honestly feel like I found a cheat code. My labs are better, my BP is better, I lost some weight.
If you think you might need one you probably do. And it looks dumb as hell but it’s so worth it.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
Oh.. nothing could look more odd than me sleeping. I would welcome a cpap machine.
😂.
Takwor@reddit
Im not the original commenter you were replying to, but it is possible to get a CPAP machine without a prescription. The major issue with this is the pressure settings have to be properly calibrated for you specifically. Also proper mask fit is super important. Many people try to set themselves up with a machine only to shove it in a cupboard because the mask blows off, it’s uncomfortable, they have a bad seal, they bought a nasal mask instead of a full face. Sometimes local pharmacies will offer a fit service and let you trial machines before you commit to a purchase. I really hope you can treat your apnea, I know the cost can be so prohibitive 🌸
Source - worked for a sleep physician for years.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
Oh I bet you’ve seen some interesting/weird sleep situations?
Moderate_t3cky@reddit
Cpap machines, and what my husband uses Bi-pap, really should be calibrated by a sleep specialist. Getting good sleep also helps keep you healthy. My 15 year old son was constantly sick, seriously he had COVID 10 times. He also has extreme ADHD that affects his sleep, has since he was a baby, kid never slept more than a couple hours at a time. His doctor prescribed him an ADHD medicine to take at bedtime, he hasn't been sick since. His Dr. explained it this way, deep rem sleep is when our bodies repair themselves, if we're not getting it our immune system is compromised.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
I had a friend who said her adhd medication gave her the best sleep of her life.
Also all of my newish health issues started after a bad bout of covid last year.
Wonder if there is a non stimulating adhd medication?
Moderate_t3cky@reddit
Yes, the med my son is on isn't a stimulate. Melatonin is a great option for sleep problems too. Though I'm partial to Tylenol PM, gotta treat those GenX aches and pains anyway, might as well sleep well too.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
I got excited yesterday when I saw a ad for Motrin Tylenol mix. That’s for me
Moderate_t3cky@reddit
Advil Dual Action is a Acetaminophen/ibuprofen combo. I had a pinched nerve in my neck a few months ago, that oddly caused radiating pain and inflammation in my left arm, Advil Dual Action was the only way I could function during the day. There are all kinds of health warning on it though.
IamNotaMonkeyRobot@reddit
Advil all the way.
Remember when we used to talk about bands and concerts, what bar to hang out at? Now it's aches, pains, and health problems. Sigh.
Moderate_t3cky@reddit
I was on the Green Day sub and had a Gen Z'r tell me Nirvana was "poppy". I almost cried. The poster said and I quote "I don't believe grunge was a real thing." 😢😢
IamNotaMonkeyRobot@reddit
Heresy! If it’s any consolation - I bought my 15 yo a Nirvana album and he plays it non-stop. He’s also teaching himself Nirvana songs on his guitar.
Moderate_t3cky@reddit
Sweet! My 19 year old son and I are big Green Day Fans, we went to a concert in Philly together this summer. Made me feel like a good mom. On the flip side, my 15 year old son had a friend over a few months ago, he was wearing a Nirvana shirt, so I asked him his favorite album. He gave me a blank stare. I then asked favorite song, he replied he didn't really know the music just liked the shirt. I offered to play some (I have all the albums on CD), my son was so embarrassed.
Jaralith@reddit
Now we're all going to the organ concert 😆
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
I find Motrin to be far better than Advil.
I’m not sore why it works better for me.
Throw in one Tylenol and it’s a pain free six hours.
buckyVanBuren@reddit
Constant Tylenol pm use can cause kidney damage over time.
Yeah, I know.
radicalelation@reddit
Will say with ADHD, a day full of appropriate stimulatants gives good rest. Never slept well without it.
An odd nightcap if you can't get the script you need, a small cup of espresso. Overdo it, the body gets too much, but a small amount sates the brain while I rest.
MissSara13@reddit
Please get a sleep study done. I did an at-home one a few years ago and I found out that I had very slight apnea due to my airway. It was a big help in getting my septoplasty approved by my insurance. If you're exhausted all the time, chances are you're stopping breathing while you're sleeping. Those pauses can last 10 seconds to a whole minute! I dated a guy who had terrible apnea and a family history of heart problems and he wouldn't get it checked out despite being exhausted and knowing he was seriously at risk.
You can't get a CPAP until it's prescribed for you and it needs to be setup specifically to your needs.
DodgyRogue@reddit
You need a prescription to get a machine as it’s not just a case of plugging it in and off you go. The machine needs to be set to the correct psi to counteract your apnea.
Kodiak01@reddit
I snore a lot. I use the Snorelab app to track my snoring, however, specifically to look for periods where I stop breathing. Thankfully those have been few and far between over these past few years. I typically fly out of bed at 4:30am feeling very rested.
jasho_dumming@reddit
You should get a sleep study first then do a trial to see if you can tolerate it and determine what level and kind of support you need, as well as which kind of mask fits best and is most comfy. I am a respiratory therapist and did sleep for ten years.
This-Elk-6837@reddit
Sleep studies are different now. I've been trying to talk to my mom for years about getting one and she won't listen. You take the monitor home now. You don't have to sleep somewhere else.
DogsGoingAround@reddit
They are all over $1000 and need regular supplies.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
Welp. I will be having a Dr drive this sleep apnea test/bus.
I am the kind of dink who would get one on my own .. then do it incorrectly and suffer from my own ignorance. I don’t need that right now lol.
CheesecakeVisual4919@reddit
Snoring is a symptom. Another question to ask yourself is are you as tired upon waking up after a night's sleep as you are the night before? That was what I was facing every day.
If you think you are, get a referral from your doctor to a neurologist. They can do a sleep study. If you have apnea, they'll be able to spot it.
buckyVanBuren@reddit
Pulmonologist also...
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
Yes.. I am tired. I weigh my options upon waking up “when can I get some sleep”?.. it takes a village (of herbs and melatonin) to get me to sleep. I have to do life so I force myself up and out but I’m putting less and less effort into getting ready for the day. I’m tired.
I wake myself up with snores. I’m so ladylike.
CheesecakeVisual4919@reddit
Get yourself that neurologist referral then. You've basically described what I went through every day for years before I got help.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
I will. I’m just now seeing a specialist who ordered a ton of new tests. This shouldn’t be so difficult to ask for, my GP ignored it.
I’ll get there .
PCTOAT@reddit
Ask for a sleep study. Medicaid, Medicare, and basic insurance pay for CPAPs etc. But they help you figure out what setting you need.
You can buy a cpap in your own (on eBay etc) but then you don’t really know whether to start at 12 or 24 you know? But see the doctor. CPAPs are ugly and at first awkward as hell but also life changing.
mellyjo77@reddit
I went to a sleep specialist. He said usually they have you do a home sleep study first, which is what I did. It has a finger oxygen sensor, a little box you wear around your ribcage with a wide elastic band and oxygen tubing (minus the oxygen) you wear. It’s not bad and you wear it for two nights. Then return the kit and they can give you your results and set you up with a machine and supplies if you need it.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
That seems easy.
I wonder if my numb toes in the am are related ?
Ok-Candle-2562@reddit
CPAP machines, if I understand correctly, need to be set for your kind of sleep apnea. I had to do a titration study because I have a couple of different types of sleep disorders, and they had to configure my machine. I'm not sure what they did, but it probably has something tondo with how much air gets pushed out.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
That makes sense. I hope I can qualify for one.
If I need one that is.
Ok-Candle-2562@reddit
Whatever is going on, I hope you find answers and relief sooner than later. Take care.
Felicity_Calculus@reddit
Serious question - how would I know if I have sleep apnea? I don’t think it’s likely given that I rarely snore (according to my husband) and my FitBit sleep data and scores look OK/normal, but I am ALWAYS tired and sometimes I wonder
Agrippa_Aquila@reddit
Look at the symptoms of sleep apnea and see if any/some match what you're experiencing. In my case, it was the constant headaches along with the snoring and daytime sleepiness that pointed to sleep apnea. My sleep study revealed that I have severe apnea and my blood oxygen level was severely affected.
Felicity_Calculus@reddit
My Fitbit tracks blood oxygen levels, respiration rate, and sleep pattern/nocturnal awakenings and everything looks normal. So it’s it’s really just the daytime sleepiness, and I’m not sure that in itself would be enough to ask for a sleep study :/
CheesecakeVisual4919@reddit
Get a referral to a neurologist. They'll do a sleep study.
YouThinkYouKnowStuff@reddit
I used to work for a pulmonologist that referred for sleep studies and followed up with CPAP results.
CheesecakeVisual4919@reddit
Yep. I'm learning things. I was referred to a group of neurologists for this (as was my wife). Looks like there are a couple of specialties it's adjacent to.
Ok-Candle-2562@reddit
My partner rarely snores and has a sleep apnea diagnosis. It's worth talking to a sleep medicine doctor to see if an at-home sleep study makes sense for you.
Also, might be worth having some labs done. I'm also always tired (already have a CPAP) and just saw my GP for this very reason yesterday. Checking thyroid, ferritin, B12, D3, and other stuff.
CrankyJenX@reddit
Also, Asians, probably due to facial structure, suffer higher rates of severe sleep apnea than their Caucasian counterparts, despite having lower rates of obesity. Obesity is often a factor in whether someone has sleep apnea.
My husband and I are both Asian and we know so many Asian Gen Xers who also Vader it at night.
dfjdejulio@reddit
This is one of the reasons I use a smartwatch that monitors my blood oxygenation overnight when I sleep. If this shit is going to affect me, I want a goddamned early warning.
chilicrock_21@reddit
Which smart watch monitors oxygenation? Now Im all paranoid reading this thread lol
Kodiak01@reddit
The new Pixel 3 does it for me. Through the Fitbit app, it tracks my overnight breathing rate, heart rate variability, skin temp, oxygen levels and resting heart rate.
For SpO2, I have my last 7 days right in front of me: the average was 94-96. Looking further back there is the occasional day in the low 90s, but those were also after evenings of alcohol consumption. Since I got the watch in the beginning of September, I've had 2 nights a bit below 92 and 2 a bit of 96; every other day has been in that range.
I've actually notices that over the past month a lot of my other numbers have really evened out. particularly HRV and RHR.
dfjdejulio@reddit
Some models of Apple Watch will do it. There are probably others too, but that's what I've got.
chilicrock_21@reddit
Thank you!!!
runnergirl3333@reddit
Well, for Carrie Fisher the cocaine, methadone, MDMA (ecstasy), alcohol and opiates found in her system certainly didn’t help. And I say this as a huge Carrie Fisher fan.
GoddessNya@reddit
My husband had bad sleep apnea. During the test, he stopped breathing for several minutes at a time. He scared the person monitoring the test. They fast tracked him for surgery. His oxygen levels dropped so low they were surprised he didn’t already have a stroke or heart attack. Wife nagging for the win.
Feebynusha@reddit
In my study I had 130 episodes in 1 hr.. they came back no sooner then they turned lights off( 1 hr later) and slapped a mask on me saying u need this now..
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
Nice!
I have experienced that things get done more quickly with spouse in tow. So I’m bringing him to my next appointments.
T1972@reddit
Sleep apnea can cause pulmonary hypertension. This can cause right sided heart failure. My sleep study had to be done outside of home. My friend who has different insurance was able to do his at home. I have been with cpap since sleep study. My apnea was pretty bad. Bonus is my girlfriend sleeps better because I do not snore.
cascas@reddit
And people our age may not know that sleep studies aren’t invasive at all and take place at home now. One little thing on your finger and it bluetooths to an app! No reason to worry.
Throwaway7219017@reddit
After my sleep test, the doc sent me to a cardiologist, as he was quite worried about my ticker. I guess waking 75 times an hour was excessive.
Turns out my heart is fine, and for an added bonus, I get to play Darth Vader every night.
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
😂
kennylogginswisdom@reddit
I’m glad your heart is good, though.
My dad had a widow maker and no one could have predicted that. He was so health and active.
muphasta@reddit
I've been using a CPAP for 6-7 years now.
I used both "Pillows" (the mask that has two circles that sit under the nostrils) and the full face mask. The pillows, well, the silicone, irritated my skin and I got gigantic zits where they made contact. I had similar irritation with the mask where it makes contact w/my skin.
My suggestion is get some A&D ointment to rub on the skin where the mask makes contact. I've not had any skin irritation since using it.
Elegant_Support2019@reddit
I use chapstick on my nostrils when I wear the nasal pillows. I don't have irritated skin anymore, which used to burn like heck.
muphasta@reddit
I think we are all pretty good at finding solutions that work for us!!
Man my nose was in terrible shape after a couple of days of the pillows!
Then I had an issue w/my sinus tissue where it would swell up at night and I could only breath out of the "up" nostril (side sleeper) and the amount of air out of one pillow was not enough.
I had surgery to fix my tissue issue, but I felt I was still not getting enough air w/the pillows. I wish I could use them! the mask is a bit of a bitch to deal with.
spoink74@reddit
I figured out on my own that Zinc Oxide (Desitin) helps the skin irritation. They don't tell you this shit, I just tried it one day.
muphasta@reddit
yeah, that is how I found out A&D worked for me.
I am a navy vet and get my CPAP and supplies from the VA, and I work as a DoN civilian with many other veterans. CPAP users are easy to spot (cheek indents) so I tell everyone I see about the A&D. Some don't have issues, others have covers that go over the silicon so they don't get irritation.
spoink74@reddit
The silicon covers are itchy.
muphasta@reddit
never tried them so thanks for that info! I'll stick w/my A&D!!
Realvirginia11@reddit
I am not Gen X (elder millennial) but this was recommended to me and I am so heart warmed by the support on this sub!!! 🩷🩷🩷
Majik_Sheff@reddit (OP)
I won't lie, I'm pretty overwhelmed by the show of support.
Realvirginia11@reddit
🩷🩷🩷 so amazing! And I’m so glad your wife is on the mend. Sending all my good juju!
hollyface1975@reddit
My mother is dying slowly of untreated sleep apnea that has caused heart failure and cerebral hypoxia, the hypoxia which in turn caused vascular dementia.
Both my parents have had it and I am constantly asking my partner if I snore or even seem to stop breathing when I sleep.
Sleep apnea and diabetes scare me more than any other diseases now.
AUiooo@reddit
Milk Thistle is a great herb for the Liver, one of few cures for mushroom toxins, also helps Hepatitis.
flyingittuq@reddit
Milk thistle will do nothing for sleep apnea, which is the underlying cause of this person’s liver disease
AUiooo@reddit
It does reduce the load on the Liver in reducing its load filtering toxins, in mushroom poisoning it does this by protecting liver cells individually.
In reduced Liver function of any kind toxin buildup is an issue.
Probably worthwhile to also take Dandelion root which helps the Kidneys similarly and has general anti cancer properties.
quick_bread_artist@reddit
Jesus Christ, I just started CPAP therapy after years of shilly-shallying and then getting put off by specialists. I’m so glad you posted about this. I had no idea
ConsistentHoliday797@reddit
I (49F) had heart failure in 2020, and kidney failure.
I'm back to good health, though on tablets for rest of life. I wish your wife well on her recovery.
WA_State_Buckeye@reddit
I face this fear! I too have sleep apnea and I use a CPAP machine. My husband also has sleep apnea but cannot tolerate a CPAP machine. He cannot stand anything on his face. He has tried many different types of masks and headgear and failed with all of them. He's already had a heart attack, and has three stents now. I don't know what else to do!
cerevant@reddit
Your husband has a few other options:
Sleeping on my side reduced my AHI from 35 to 13. CPAP will get you under 10, but this still moves my apnea numbers in to the "safe to leave untreated" range.
If none of that works, check to see if your insurance would cover Inspire. While it requires surgery, it is a long term well tolerated solution.
WA_State_Buckeye@reddit
I actually started out with the mouthpiece, but it aggravated my TMJ very badly. It would take me hours for my mouth to work right in the mornings. He's gonna ask his doc about it next week at his regular appt, thanks for reminding me of it! I wish it would have worked for me, as it is easier to travel with. Every time I've flown back to my mom's/brother's house, I refuse to pack up my CPAP. It's too much of a hassle. But I do miss my sleep then. CPAP cuts down the amount of visits I make in the middle of the night to the bathroom.
I have bought him sooooo many pillows over the years, but he never likes them, so I've decreed he's on his own to find a pillow he likes.
The belt, also, is a good idea. I know he can sleep with something around his waist because he had to wear a gall bladder drain for a month...had a gall attack RIGHT after his heart attack, and with all the meds he was on at the time, they couldn't do any surgery for a month.
We have a friend who got the Inspire, I think, thru the VA. She got SOME sort of implant, I didn't catch the name of it, but she says it works great for her, so that's an option. Thanks for reminding me of that as well! Heck, I may even look into it for myself!
Thank you for caring enough for a stranger to make excellent suggestions!
cerevant@reddit
My pleasure. My dad died pretty young, and I strongly suspect that untreated apnea was a factor. I would hate for that to happen to anyone else when there are so many options!
Penelope_love24@reddit
I struggle with my CPAP as well so I get it. I also started taking Zepbound in March and it has helped my sleep apnea so much! They’re currently doing studies for this but I’m going to do another sleep study soon to see how it compares to my last study. I used to be so sleepy by 7pm but struggled to stay up until 9pm as 7 was so early, and I also remember my dreams now which leads me to believe I’m getting into REM sleep 👍🏻
WA_State_Buckeye@reddit
Thank you for that suggestion. I'm glad it works for you! I just know that if my CPAP is cutting my middle of the night bathroom visits down to just 1, then I'm getting way better sleep than I had been getting for years!! Still I can wish it weren't so bulky...lol
Riverskyegirl@reddit
Wow! While everyone is over here fighting on Reddit 😒 Prayers for a speedy recovery for your wife and thank you for the helpful info! #5.... ❤️❤️❤️ This world could use way more of that!!
Embarrassed-Type-@reddit
I'm literally firing up the sleep apnea machine I paid for and never used. Thank you for your sharing, and I hope for the best for your wife.
I'm battling stage 4 cancer myself. I'll do whatever I can do stay on this earth. I have a 24 year old, and I'm only 47. I want to see my grandchildren.
Cheers to us and the good times.
Majik_Sheff@reddit (OP)
Glad something good could come from the experience.
Best wishes to you. Kick cancer's ass.
Interesting-Earth508@reddit
Wow. So glad omg wow. Holding good thoughts for you.
Just wondering about the pee comment. Pee color fluctuates all the time so what specifically did you mean?
CoCoBreadSoHoShed@reddit
64 year old woman, diabetes, sarcoidosis, chronic back pain, other assorted crap. Got sleep study at home and started CPAP, it was not easy but man I feel better than I have in a long time. You think “I can’t do that”, you do what you have to. It’s been a year and a half and it’s made me feel better. I want to live as long as I can and as well as I can. When they told me I had diabetes, I told myself I needed to grow the hell up. I do what I need to so I can stay here. You’d be surprised what determination not to die can do for you.
Otherwise_Gear_5136@reddit
I am glad she will be around for a while yet.
People: it is very easy and simple to get a sleep apnea test done. I did it and found out something terrifying: I stopped breathing multiple times an hour while sleeping. I use my CPAP religiously now. I had a TIA 10 years ago that was attributed to being on the BCP for 30 years but it most likely was also due to sleep apnea. I am lucky to be around and functioning. Get checked.
melissaleaaa@reddit
I have mild sleep apnoea recently diagnosed. I dont know why I've been putting off getting my cpap but this thread has encouraged me to go do so. I'm only 30. This has randomly appeared in my feed and it's definitely a sign. I hope your wife feels better soon despite these findings. 💖
Shipkiller-in-theory@reddit
Try a wedge pillow. data set of one, works well for me.
Spiritual-Access-612@reddit
So so glad💐
Quiet_Water0128@reddit
Omg I'm so glad she has more time. How do you even know that you have sleep apnea?
pagette44@reddit
Constant exhaustion. The ability to sit down and fall asleep. Fuzzy brain all the time. People tell you how loud you snore and/or you stop breathing while sleeping.
Analog_Hobbit@reddit
I was a horrible snorer. My wife basically threatened me to get a referral for a sleep study. Did that, and got a CPAP machine. It’s a pain in the ass at first, but you do get used to it. They aren’t loud anymore. I fall asleep in under 10 minutes typically. And it’s just not isolated to the Midwest, that’s a myth.
yeah_im_a_leopard2@reddit
I got put on a bipap 4 months ago and it was life changing. 45 years old and always snored, and I mean I SNORE. Always wear a mouthpiece it was so bad. I had no idea what sleep was.
Mammoth-Cupcake858@reddit
My prayers for your wife and yourself ❤️ It breaks my heart to hear stories like this but sadly they are far too often. So many on here are confused and questioning "how does sleep apnea do that? And that makes it even sadder. I know this not the time but you both need to be not only self-advocates in educating yourselves of where you go from here ( never accept a death sentence). But also educate others. Share your journey. It will not only be therapeutic for you but by reaching out with your story, you may find a ray of hope. Look in to clinical trials, find support groups ( the one I found literally saved my life from Stage 4 cancer diagnosis - story for another day). Know the way the body all works- asking questions( come with a list and get answers) and not just sitting and listening to medical mumbo jumbo, puts your medical team on notice you know what is what, AND what to ask without being accepting of what you are being told. Again, I am so sorry. and I'm also sorry if I crossed a line. Truly. I just have seen this scenario too many times. I also am married to the love of my life. Took us 35+ years to finally go from teenage friends to not seeing each other for us those 35 years to getting married in our 50s. We've had 14 years but the stubborn man has sleep apnea on top of a Parkinsons- like disease, and he refuses to wear the mask or even acknowledge the SA is even there. I live with the fear you now have daily and pray that I do not hear the words you and your wife have heard. Please try my advice if possible. God bless and take care❤️❤️❤️❤️
Me_Too_Iguana@reddit
Reading this while sitting in the acute cardiac care unit with my husband, also of 20 years. For people seeing this, there’s a lot of information about heart attacks in females presenting differently, but they can in males too. My husband had zero chest/arm pain. He thought he was having anxiety attacks, and the only reason I took him to the hospital is that his feet and abdomen swelled up. Turns out he had had multiple silent heart attacks and needed quadruple bypass surgery.
OP, please pay close attention to your wife’s cognitive function. We were home from the hospital for less than a week before my husband started getting a bit more forgetful and sleeping more, and within 24 hours he was too weak to stand on his own and was hallucinating, so an ambulance was called and here we are back at the hospital.
Good luck, and I hope the universe gives you lots more time together.
General-Ad2398@reddit
Hope it all turns out ok!
Majik_Sheff@reddit (OP)
Thank you for raising this concern. I hope things turn out OK for you both.
Sea_Marble@reddit
TIL about #3 - importance of watching your pee color. Thank you for the follow up and the tip.
DjinnaG@reddit
Same, this is the first I’ve heard of that one
AbbyM1968@reddit
Thank you for the update. I hope that sleep apnea treatment is both inexpensive and easy. I'm glad to hear that the prognosis went from a short time to a longer time. All the best in your future.
(r/BORUpdates might enjoy this)
DaniCapsFan@reddit
Getting a CPAP machine isn't cheap, and sleeping with one every night is a hassle, but it could be worse.
AbbyM1968@reddit
Might there be a place offering rentals, maybe?
DjinnaG@reddit
Many of them do start out as rentals, until you have enough history of compliant usage (we’re talking about a couple months, not a long time at all) then insurance will just switch to buying it outright. I think my husband’s “rental “ period was three months. I’ve been using one religiously for so long that when I did need a replacement a couple years back, they bought it outright immediately. And then you just have it, and they transmit your data so your doctor can make sure that your settings are still working a couple times a year, replace tubes and masks as needed, and that’s all there is to it. Really, $50/year for supplies is about all I’ve ever paid out of pocket. Absolutely worth it to be awake during the day and greatly reduce risk of death
minlillabjoern@reddit
There are places that have payment plans for sure. Or, that offer refurbished equipment.
4Bforever@reddit
That doesn’t really sound cost-effective since it’s something you need for the rest of your life.
Insurance usually covers this though, or used to anyway
Square-Wing-6273@reddit
I suspect they are thinking trying instead of buying until you find what works
zeitgeistincognito@reddit
Not if you haven't met your deductible and some of us have deductibles that are quite high. I paid out of pocket for mine and all the replacement supplies when I was using one.
DjinnaG@reddit
Exact opposite of my experience, and I’ve been using a cpap for almost half my life at this point. Insurance has always fully covered everything, maybe $40/year for replacement supplies. It very quickly became my sleep time security blanket of sorts. Very easy to adapt, and so much cheaper for insurance to pay for the machine than all of the health problems if you need one but don’t have it, the insurance approval part is pretty much automatic and requires no effort or wait time
TriGurl@reddit
Then get the implants in your throat, much easier! A gal I know got it and you set the app on your phone and they turn on about 45min after you push start when you get into bed.
yummily@reddit
Sorry can you say more about this implant device? My husband has bad apnea, it's because of weak throat muscles his doctors have not offered any kind of effi treatment besides the cpap
TriGurl@reddit
Inspire is the name of it. A gal I see every quarter at a party got it done and she loves it! I mean my ex had a bi-pap machine and frankly the gentle whirring noise it made was so nice for white noise that I had no issues with it. He was a back sleeper so it worked. But I can see how a side sleeper would have issues.
With the INSPIRE implants it's in your throat muscles and it looks kind of weird but frankly I would 100% get this if I had sleep apnea. It's amazing!
caller-number-four@reddit
Check out Inspire - https://www.inspiresleep.com/en-us/
RedHeadedStepDevil@reddit
The key to sleeping with a CPAP machine is to get a mask that works for you.
I tried the face mask, but I’m a side/stomach sleeper and the mask didn’t work. My son-in-law introduced me to a nasal mask (which he used) and it was life changing. I went from two weeks of wrestling with the face mask and little sleep (it would wake me up about every 30-45 minutes), to a full nights sleep. I’ve used it for years now and have very few incidents each night.
ChubbyHanover@reddit
& there are different types of masks, too...nasal plugs, nasal pillows, half face, full face...you should be able to find something that works. don't let the new device commercials scare you!
...and insurance may help pay for supplies. Medicare certainly does!
Dramatic-Respect2280@reddit
A word of caution: you have to really be careful and take care of the equipment. My sister’s CPAP may very well have been what killed her. She had a respiratory infection that triggered afib, then her kidneys started failing and then her liver failed. The doctors said it was from sepsis resulting from histoplasmosis, and that it could have been caused by mold spores. They inspected her CPAP and found traces of mold in it. If you use one, make sure you clean it properly.
Dramatic-Respect2280@reddit
A word of caution: you have to really be careful and take care of the equipment. My sister’s CPAP may very well have been what killed her. She had a respiratory infection that triggered afib, then her kidneys started failing and then her liver failed. The doctors said it was from sepsis resulting from histoplasmosis, and that it could have been caused by mold spores. They inspected her CPAP and found traces of mold in it. If you use one, make sure you clean it properly.
seolchan25@reddit
Quite sure it killed my dad. He refused to treat it and died of heart failure. He made fun of the masks and that I wear one. Refused to even look at them. I got diagnosed and have been treating it for years now.
PsamantheSands@reddit
What color did her urine turn?
Majik_Sheff@reddit (OP)
For lack of more appropriate liquids to compare colors:
Limoncello -> Orange Kool-aid -> Coffee
The last one didn't happen until she was already in the hospital.
thathairinyourmouth@reddit
Coffee color? Did she end up with rhabdomyolysis?
Kwyjibo68@reddit
First thing I was thinking too.
4Bforever@reddit
Yeah the orange Kool-Aid stage is really bad
Also if your poops ever look the color of clay go to the emergency room please
Kodiak01@reddit
Pale White Poop:
foetus_lp@reddit
ive always hated this saying. what color is clay? i live in TX and we have red clay. so, red? or does it mean grey? if it means grey, why not just say grey?
KillerSwiller@reddit
They mean grey.
jitterbugperfume99@reddit
I’d like to add here that if your pee is rusty, red, or brown, get it checked. I’m about to have some lovely bladder cancer tests (confirmed there is something there).
PragmaticHoosier@reddit
Really glad she is getting treatment.
Untreated sleep apnea, poor oral hygiene and being consistently dehydrated are the silent killers as we age.
h3yd000ch00ch00@reddit
I don’t know if you’ll see this among all of these comments, but here goes. I advise you to ask the doctors about Entresto. I’ve been taking it for years. Since about 2018. I felt more human after taking it. It was hailed the wonder drug for what your wife has. Seriously research it. If you don’t have insurance, they usually do a freebie thing from the company if you qualify.
I wanted to let you know about it, it may help immensely.
Majik_Sheff@reddit (OP)
Thank you for your thoughts and your suggestion.
h3yd000ch00ch00@reddit
No problem at all. I didn’t want to overstep, but if someone has heart failure, it has a wonderful track record and can do so much. I was trying to make sure I didn’t sound like I had a stake in the company or something lol
I do wish your wife the absolute best and longest life and you as well. That’s some devastating news and I didn’t want to make you feel any worse. But I wanted to throw that out there, in case it can prolong her years. Mine was caused by a heart attack I thought was a gallbladder attack. I waited too long to the er. I was 41 at the time and had no idea it was a heart attack. And I’m getting my sleep study for apnea soon, I absolutely have it, but I have to have another study for the technicality.
izolablue@reddit
Lots of us have referred to this group as saving our lives, maybe this one is literal. So so grateful for this sub! 💙 So happy to hear this news, OP!
LooseAnaconda@reddit
User shared experience taking wife to ER. Follow-up update shared. Community showed support and empathy.
Majik_Sheff@reddit (OP)
Did you mean to post this here? It seems like something is missing.
rocketcitygardener@reddit
Sleep apnea ruins many things: heart, brain function, minimizing of personality, weight gain, lower libido. Do not ignore it for decades like I did!
Famous-Dimension4416@reddit
So sorry this happened and glad your wife will be able to buy some more time and I hope with treatment that increases even more than they think it will. My husband has severe sleep apnea which thankfully we caught before it caused any permanent damage. Sleep apnea is definitely nothing to ignore.
mosephis13@reddit
We lost my dad almost a month ago. He had prostate cancer, but it was congestive heart failure that took him in the end.
We’re sure he had sleep apnea. He often stopped breathing in his sleep, but he would never do a sleep study.
I snore, so I’ve done a sleep study. You can do them at home now!
I agree with OP. Sleep apnea can cause so many issues.
Wishing your wife many more years, OP.
polymorphic_hippo@reddit
Would you elaborate on this, please?
Glad to hear your news, thanks for the update.
Majik_Sheff@reddit (OP)
In a span of about 24 hrs it went from dark yellow, to orange, to the color of coffee.
Her body was dumping liver enzymes like crazy.
polymorphic_hippo@reddit
What a simple, straightforward thing to be on the lookout for. So many heart attack symptoms are vague and easily waved off. Thanks for including that in your update.
Best of luck to you and the missus.
Kodiak01@reddit
Mine didn't change color, but it did start getting progressively harder to pee over a few days. Got right in to see the urologist.
Enlarged prostate, so put on Flomax with some follow-up blood work. Free PSA came back showing a ~75% chance of prostate cancer. Biopsy is in a few weeks (this cancer is typically slow going). On the plus side, I can pee without issue again at least.
Majik_Sheff@reddit (OP)
Best of luck to you! Fuck cancer.
Grey_spruce@reddit
I'm so sorry that her diagnosis didnt include a full revovery, but I am grateful that you have more time together. Also, THANK YOU for talking about sleep apnea. My hubby is dragging his feet on getting a CPAP mask that fits his face. Maybe this will help get him motivated to do it.
Majik_Sheff@reddit (OP)
Do it. Nag him to life.
Maleficent_Scale_296@reddit
She is going to feel so much better! My heart rejoices that you have more time. ❤️
pixiestardust8@reddit
I had my sleep specialist today. I’m 8 years compliant as of today (my machine reports to my doc). Thank you for this important message of awareness. I hope treatment can help her heart failure and liver function.
gordigor@reddit
What color does pee turn to? Serious question.
justagirlexploring@reddit
Urine color chart
emberfauna@reddit
Gosh this is scary. I just got a CPAP for sleep apnea this year, and I have high blood pressure genetically. I didn't think sleep apnea could be this deadly! I'm so glad your wife is okay, and I hope she gets better going forward ❤️
MsHowe@reddit
My husband and I both went in for sleep studies at the same time. His apnea was so bad they woke him up and put a CPAP on him! He later became and nurse practitioner and worked in sleep medicine for a bit. They is obstructive sleep apnea and central sleep apnea. Central is when you body is so used to having low oxygen levels and you take fewer and fewer breaths while you sleep. This could be fatal without intervention.
myprana@reddit
I just made an appt with a pulmonologist for a consult today. Have to wait until dec 31st as a new patient. This is a major problem to those of us with new problems that emerge in midlife. Almost two months away! wtf?
Fluid_Shift_5386@reddit
Actually, sadly it’s the other way around. Liver disease causes sleep apnea. It’s just that you are rarely told you have issues with your liver and you need to be watchful of it for life (especially during covid times) and it progresses due to eating habits, daily prescriptions and pain pills, among others, and for this group any amount of alcohol Covid is known to exacerbate the problems.
Motor_Inspector_1085@reddit
The shitty part is a lot of insurances don’t cover sleep studies to diagnose sleep apnea. I’m talking major insurance companies, not little no name ones.
Megawatts77@reddit
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. But your words are what I needed to see. I was supposed to get my CPAP a few weeks ago but then our insurance changed due to a work change. Now it’s all back in place and I’m going to call tomorrow to get back there and get it.
In_The_End_63@reddit
Presume we're talking congestive based on the years prognosis?
Fabulous-Yak-1837@reddit
I had sleep apnea badly, it had effected my thought process to the point that I knew I wasn't thinking clearly. I was a nurse and was scared to death my inability to think clearly would kill someone. While I was waiting on the results of my sleep study and my machine to come in I had my Dr take me off work. I wasn't safe to practice and I knew it. I told him if he had to commit me I didn't care, just keep me out of work so I didn't kill anyone. He didn't have to commit me, it took less than 5 days for my machine to come in, this was back in 2000. In Dec 2003 I had surgery for non healing stomach and duodenal ulcers, they had to remove 2/3 of my stomach and 12 foot of small intestine. I ended up losing a lot of weight. I ended up no longer needing CPAP as I no longer had sleep apnea, but I was still tired. Did more sleep studies. I had narcolepsy. Sometimes you can have more than one sleep disorder. They just never looked for my second until it was obvious the 1st was gone.
TripsOverCarpet@reddit
This past summer, I went to the ER because of excruciating pain, cold sweats, and nausea. Man, when you're our age and you hobble in there and tell them that you cannot tell if the pain is coming from above/below your diaphragm, your butt doesn't even get a chance to hit the chair in the waiting room!
I seriously thought that I was having a heart attack. After all the monitors and tests were done? It was my gallbladder. Yeeted that thing a couple weeks later. I swear the recovery pain was a breeze compared to a gallstone attack, because at least I knew what it was and that it would eventually get better.
lifegenx@reddit
Beautiful words. Thanks for sharing. and best wishes. 🙏
molsmama@reddit
Wow. Thank you for sharing this information. Some of this is new to me. I will be sharing this with my fellow GenX people. I’m so glad your wife is doing better. Here’s to many more years for the two of you.
LowComfortable9021@reddit
Trust me once you get a CPAP for your sleep apnea, you will not want to ever sleep without it again.
crucial_geek@reddit
I am not posting this to hijack the thread. It is relevant and I hope that you and your wife have good years ahead.
About a decade ago a friend was found dead around Christmas time. He was supposed to show up at a family get together, and never showed. A few days later, his sister stopped by and that was that, he was gone. Official cause of death was sleep apnea resulting from diabetes.
Not joking, a year later another friend was on vacation with his family and went missing for a few days. Once again, family checked in on him a few days later and found him dead. Official cause of death was sleep apnea resulting from diabetes.
Both guys were partiers and heavy drinkers (why no one thought it too odd they were not around). My understanding was that neither were aware they had diabetes.
Bowyerguy@reddit
The heart attack that killed my wife presented as severe nausea. I’m glad you have more time with your wife, cherish this time!
Majik_Sheff@reddit (OP)
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Fair-Swimming-6697@reddit
Just seeing this — so happy for you both! Take care of each other! Sending prayers for a full and healthy recovery and life together.
mummummaaa@reddit
I am sharing this with my husband who won't wear his cpap. "It's uncomfortable," he says.
Be uncomfortable, but be alive. Thank you for sharing.
My mum has left sided heart failure, they expect her to live a good 5 years or more, but she's in her 70s and deeply unhealthy.
I raise my coffee to you and your wife,and hope she gives the grim reaper a sandal slap upside the head, just because he's not getting at her for a long time.
XelaNiba@reddit
Holy shit. I had no idea sleep apnea could cause such terrible disease.
Thanks to you and your wife, I will be getting my sleep apnea treated. Thank you for sharing this information.
I'm so sorry for your wife's diagnosis, I hope she beats her prognosis by decades.
Hand-Of-Vecna@reddit
Wait, what? I never heard that SLEEP APNEA can cause this.
Being overweight and a poor diet can cause heart failure and/or liver disease. Sleep apnea is a common effect of being overweight. I have seen patients lose weight which reverses sleep apnea symptoms.
The1Ylrebmik@reddit
I am only 54, but I got diagnosed with apnea about 20 years ago. My then girlfriend, now wife insisted on it after she observed how completely dead I was in the morning, and nothing, including sex or being at Disneyland, could make me alert. I am convinced without my CPAP I'd have been dead long ago. If you feel unusually tired in the morning, or you snore, get yourself checked out.
stupid-username-333@reddit
If you have overweight or obesity, losing 5–10% of your body weight may help reduce or resolve sleep apnea symptoms.
https://www.healthline.com/health/sleep-apnea/sleep-apnea-weight-loss
mkstot@reddit
I can’t state strongly enough that sleep apnea kills. My first wife had it, and refused to wear the cpap. It eventually took her. Please follow doctors instructions.
xonacrackr@reddit
My mom died of undiagnosed sleep apnea. It was too late for her and she was placed on life support on day 12 of her hospital stay (which was also Mother’s Day) and died 9 days later. She was 63 and I was 31. I am so glad yall caught this. Is your gf overweight? My mom was and it attributed to her death. If she is, please talk to her about discussing a safe weight loss plan with her doctor ❤️
Frosty_Ear4454@reddit
Wow. This sounds exactly like what I'm going through. I have not been to the Drs yet. I think I get sleep apnea here and there. I wake up catching my breath. I've been dealing with right chest pain since Thursday so 5 days now. I am being hopeful I just pulled a muscle in my sleep. I woke up from an afternoon nap and I thought I was having a heart with the pain I was having. I am a 39/F. It was intense pain on the right side of my chest. 5 days later it's not as intense but it still hurts.
I am so sorry what you're going through. 🙏
PCTOAT@reddit
I have sleep apnea so I’m familar. Want to also tell you to have lots of hope—my mom has lived with right side heart failure for at least 5 years and she’s 80 with a lot of complications. At our age this is treatable and you can live long time with it if she does all the right stuff now. ❤️❤️ to you both.
spgrst@reddit
Come on over to /r/SleepApnea!
chromatoma1@reddit
That sounds fucking frightening... That sleep apnea can do this, that you could lose the most important person in your life.... Crazy!!! I hope you and your wife have many happy years ahead together.
United-Climate1562@reddit
From someone who got DCM from sleep apnea sending all my warth thoughts from across the pond, hope the drugs start kicking in soon and are able to do some reverse modeling like on me
ramonjr1520@reddit
Wow....prayers to you both.
I have really bad sleep apnea myself. I've been using a CPAP for about 10years.....I wish I would have started using it 20years ago.
Humbleach@reddit
So glad to hear this. It was #4 that made me think about my own wife. Thank you.
reincarnateme@reddit
I can’t get a sleep apnea test. Insurance keeps denying it
meat_beast1349@reddit
Amen Brother. Hug the ones you love, and don't waste time with naysayers. Many good wishes and long life to you & your bride.
Alaska-Raven@reddit
My boyfriend, future husband, used to snore like a chainsaw and kept awake. I could hear him stop breathing and would prod him. He also was having cluster headaches and developing heart problems, with lots of palpitations. I made sure to get him into the doctors right away.
I had a hard time getting him to wear the damn thing for a first month and had to constantly remind him. However, once the symptoms above went away. Now he literally can hardly function without it because his quality of sleep is so drastically poor.
ThatOneDudeFromIowa@reddit
I had a heart attack in 2017. Yadda, yadda, I got a CPAP machine and I love it.
CulturedGentleman921@reddit
Time is the only real wealth any of us have.
We've wasted far too much of it on stupid bullshit.
Realizing this is what causes a midlife crisis.
Moderate_t3cky@reddit
Glad your wife is okay. Had something similar with my husband 18 months ago. He'd been going to his nurse practitioner for months. Constantly tired, lots of extremity swelling, falling asleep all the time. She put him on diuretics and told him to quit smoking (which he didn't do). Didn't ask about diet, sleep, etc. Symptoms just kept getting worse, one day he was a walk in at the doctors office, saw a different practitioner and he immediately sent my husband for a chest x-ray, the next day called him with the results and told him to go directly to the ER. Within an hour the ER diagnosed him with Pulmonary Hypertension. His O2 was under 80 and they were shocked he'd walked into the ER. 11 days in the hospital, and a bi-pap machine and he's much better. I had been telling him for YEARS he had sleep apnea, but he never mentioned it to his NP. Also when you have a heart condition/high blood pressure stay away from sports drinks. The amount of sodium he was intaking from those was aggravating the hypertension.
EmuMooMuuMuu@reddit
“My wife can even keep the reaper himself waiting” - hilarious! I’m so glad she put this skill to work.
blackpony04@reddit
All good blessings up you and your Missus, I'm really glad her prognosis is improved.
I lost my pops to heart attack when he was 60, but he had his first one at age 53 when I was 17. I've been paying attention ever since and have had perfect blood pressure and cholesterol my entire life. As it turns out, my genetics follow my mom and 2 of my 4 other siblings followed my dad and have had health struggles since their 40s.
What got me was diabetes. I was a 6-pack a day Coke drinker in my 30s and put on too much weight to admit here from having a Southern wife who overfed me (not blaming her, it was just too much food and it tasted sooo good I couldn't stop myself). My heart was always good and my doctor never gave me grief for being a fatass, so I just kept living it up.
Fast forward to my mid-40s and I end up losing the wife when she decided to abandon our family, and a few years later I met a woman who insisted I get a full workup on my bloodwork. Turns out I was diabetic without knowing it. The goods news is I am out of the diabetic range and lost 50 pounds and on paper am in the best shape of my adult life at 54.
Go see your doctor folks, and get all those tests done. It could save your life!
SKallday@reddit
Prayers to you and your family. Just lost a friend, only 46 years old to sleep apnea. Died in his sleep
Like-Totally-Tubular@reddit
My cpap and I are besties. I have my main one and a backup and a travel one. Never sleep without it because the negative effects suck
BetMyLastKrispyKreme@reddit
My mom lived (at least) 12 years past her diagnosis of congestive heart failure, after being a lifelong smoker (and continuing to smoke off and on after the diagnosis. Addiction sucks.) She was not a healthy woman, by any means. And she suffered severe depression all of her life, so her will to live was compromised. While this anecdote doesn’t address your wife’s liver issues, I hope it illustrates that even dire health conditions can sometimes have unexpected outcomes that are more positive than one would initially expect.
Sending healing thoughts to your family.
Ms_ankylosaurous@reddit
The sleep apnea subreddit is good stuff
strangerbuttrue@reddit
Thank you for those lessons learned!
2boredtocare@reddit
Despite being GenX, I am forever an optimist. Best of luck to her in her journey!
Consistent_Sale_7541@reddit
Hugs! I have been using CPAP for a good few years now. one of my friends is in late stage heart failure, more than likely down to his diagnosed sleep apnea and he won’t use a cpap.. despite seeing the positive affects it’s had on me, and being told there are different masks to try if he can’t get on with one.
RedHeadedStepDevil@reddit
My mother has snored loudly for many years. Lots of gasping and pauses in the snoring. I could hear her breathing stop. She’s almost 80, no CPAP, and I don’t see how she’s still alive.
luckydukki@reddit
That's great news. My hubby and I went through the same thing, with me. You're both doing the right thing.
Make sure to make the most of cardiac rehab and don't be afraid to ask questions.
With the kids now out of the house I was able to stop working, thus cutting the one major stressor in my life as I'd worked nights.
Wish your wife well from another cardiac patient. 💞
According-Gazelle362@reddit
Thanks for the update. No doubt this has been a huge, unexpected turn in your life. Sorry for that - but definitely grateful it’s not worse. We’re all in the same place, some of us just don’t know it yet.
If she goes with a CPAP, be obsessive about keeping that thing clean. Bad things can happen from just a little bit of mistake in this department. Maybe she’s candidate for that new CPAP alternative?
Best of luck to you both.
4Bforever@reddit
Yeah it turns out being able to breathe correctly is really important to keep your heart working right.
darkest_irish_lass@reddit
Scary stuff! Sending healing vibes and strength to both of you, internet strangers.
No one knows how much time we have left. Whether it's a car accident, medical scare or natural disaster like flood or fire, sometimes bad shit happens. All we can do is stay strong and hang on.
RudeBlueJeans@reddit
I wish the best for you and your wife! Thanks for the great post, you may have saved someone's life.
Regalita@reddit
Hugs and support from me to you and your family
Colorful_Wayfinder@reddit
Good to hear that her prognosis is improving!
littleliongirless@reddit
If there are any sleep studies in your area, please look into them. At the very least, it might keep you in the loop of the latest sleep treatments! Sending you both Internet hugs while saying Whatever. Strength and much love, bro .
gothfru@reddit
How scary! Glad they got her sorted out!
Icy-Tough-1791@reddit
Sending you and your wife ghost hugs.
buckinanker@reddit
Prayers brother. You never know what medical treatments are going to come out in the next year or two. It’s a great reminder to appreciate your loved ones though.
acornwbusinesssocks@reddit
Sending you so many good vibes. I married my best friend, and I cannot even fathom the fear which gripped you.
I'm so glad to hear you have years together. Wishing you both the best.