Uhmm | TheaterFire

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munustriplex@reddit

Pretty standard Texas insult, and pretty accurate regarding El Senador.

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MisplacedMartian@reddit

I'm a Canadian who wandered in from /r/ALL; this one is so popular that we know about it all the way up here so it's strange to find out there are actual Texans who are unfamiliar with it.

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Most-Weird@reddit

I’m happy you’re here but would you mind taking Ted back with you when you head out?

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SmallBol@reddit

Chicago here. We'll take him. We have an excellent track record of putting our politicians in prison.

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Rodalan2017@reddit

Then take the asshat Governor Abbott too! He’s a real piece of ####

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SmallBol@reddit

Put him on the next migrant bus to "supervise" and we'll grab him

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rockstar504@reddit

Shit man, alright we're sending em up with a couple briskets thanks for the assist

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MargaretBrownsGhost@reddit

Send a bushel or two of your best native pecans for the squirrel contingent; they might not like having Cruz released into their midst without such a bribe.

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rockstar504@reddit

Good idea. You should never fuck with Squirrels.

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chrisrayn@reddit

Don’t send him with the brisket…Ted will eat all the brisket before it arrives. Make sure the Cruz car is separate from the brisket car, or you’ll be Cruzin’ for a brisket losin’.

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BCRGactual@reddit

After the brisket is out he will start feeding on the bus riders too. Ted Cruz must need to keep his skin moist.

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Misc_Lillie@reddit

Throw in some Texas Twinkies, too. They'd be doing us a solid.

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radar_off_no_oddjob@reddit

If we can find an ADA-compliant bus we'll give you Abbott, too.

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IsJamalComing@reddit

I say just strap him to the back. He’ll be fine, no DEI here.

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kdjack1111@reddit

Only if you grab him by the cowboy hat

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MRAN0NYMO@reddit

Can he also take Abbott? Pretty please?

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mechengr17@reddit

How many pens does he have to steal before yall take care of him?

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gamblodar@reddit

Just get him to run for mayor. Don't y'all have a 75% conviction rate over the last half-dozen?

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SmallBol@reddit

I can't think of a mayor that was convicted. Governor's have a track record though.

That's not the lesson to take from this though. Other states should become as passionate as Illinois about prosecuting politicians. If you find a way to get it done it will warm your heart.

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gamblodar@reddit

My bad. Governors it was. I still remember Blago on the Daily Show where Jon was like "you're really gonna say you didn't do anything? Reeeeaaallllyyy?"

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SmallBol@reddit

Haha exactly

That dude got pardoned by the former president and lives the next neighborhood over from me. He jogs in the middle of the street, which is the second best reason to hate Blago

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gamblodar@reddit

I can the the clickbait news article:

"Nine reasons to hate Rod Blagoavitch, and number 2 will shock you!"

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jdaverage@reddit

Take him and the garbage king, please!

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Cheap_Blacksmith66@reddit

Didn’t you guys have that small town mayor that’s been blatantly embezzling money for years now?

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desucca@reddit

He's more Mexican than Canadian these days.. let Cancun keep him eh

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Spiritual-Dot4076@reddit

Hey, come on now, my family goes to Cancún.

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Imadevonrexcat@reddit

They don’t mean Ted. They mean the saying.

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Most-Weird@reddit

I know, but Ted is from Canada so I would like him to be returned

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WillGold1365@reddit

Your comment made me audibly chuckle in my companies shitter. But also, as a Canadian wondering from the front page, NO!

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enternameher3@reddit

We'll take Ted, y'all have to take drake

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theoneintexas@reddit

You underestimate our distaste for Ted. There isn't a trade we would find undesirable.

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zaknafien1900@reddit

There is actually a crazy extremist premier in alberta and he'd fit right in but god i hope that never happens he's a giant tool.

And I doubt he would there more money down south that's why he's there

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Midwinter_Dram@reddit

You can keep him. Fucking Jordan Petersen too. Kermit lobster benzo addled fuck head.

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sergeantmeatwad@reddit

openly admits to destroying his brain now listen to all my awesome ideas

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rebeltrillionaire@reddit

I’m an addict with no inner peace and my emotions have me crying over strawmen in my own arguments.

Now follow my strict routine for a better life.

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lillybheart@reddit

He’ll migrate there naturally if it gets too hot

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sergeantmeatwad@reddit

You seen that belly? He's stopping in Wisconsin or Minnesota for sure

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Paraxom@reddit

to be fair, you've got all that 'berta beef in canada, would make sense that the phrase would get up there

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profsavagerjb@reddit

There’s also great fishing in Kay-beck

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Sea-Limit-5430@reddit

The bow river has world class fly fishing

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hevea_brasiliensis@reddit

There are so many transplants here in Texas that they're losing touch with real Texas culture.

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chook_slop@reddit

OP looks like he's from the Dallas area... Some sort of pity/forgiveness must be allowed.

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BigRoach@reddit

The same oblivious, inarticulate person who titles their post “Uhmm”. I could think of about 20 different groups of words that would be more appropriate than uhm.

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lynnyfox@reddit

Have you heard ‘couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel’? I have a point to prove.

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MisplacedMartian@reddit

Yuuup. That one's as popular as a woman in a tubetop riding a mechanical bull.

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gaythrowaway73@reddit

They aren't Texans. We've had an incredible explosion in people moving from the shitholes they voted to create turning this into a shithole. It kind of sucks.

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nonsfwhere@reddit

I doubt they aren’t, just posting for karma, or a bot.

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BioTronic@reddit

I'm in Norway, and I'm pretty sure half my friends know the saying.

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pongo_spots@reddit

Canadian who had never heard it before, immediately understood the meaning. I think it's pretty obvious, no?

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Global-Efficiency-22@reddit

It's because that's not really a common saying in Texas in the 21st century. I'm aware of the saying, but in 39 years I've literally never heard someone say it in real life.

It sounds like someone quoting a black and white western. Probably 90% of us have never been within touching distance of cattle.

That being said, it's an apt description of the Canadian mr Rafael Cruz

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enfuego138@reddit

A Russian shill probably wouldn’t know…

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JustHereForCookies17@reddit

He gets his salsa from New York City.

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JustHereForCookies17@reddit

I'm so glad someone got the joke!! I didn't know if it was too old for this crowd or not.

Thank you u/lcfr_66 for the award!!

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Bob_the_brewer@reddit

Lol when I was growing up those commercials made me laugh.

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JustHereForCookies17@reddit

Pointing the key fob at the horse & it making the beeping noise was hilarious.

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Americanstandard@reddit

All whistle no train I think but the point has been made.

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zekeweasel@reddit

Basically saying he's dressed like a cowboy, but it's all just clothing, as he has no cattle and thus isn't the real thing.

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Blah-B7ah_Bloop@reddit

He cosplays a human but has no humanity

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wildgunman@reddit

It's an insult I've heard leveled at politicians pretty routinely since I was a kid.

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HistorianWorth1308@reddit

Paid for by a failed politician and bench riding football player

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AnastasiaNo70@reddit

I once told Cruz to his face he sucks. He said, “God bless you” and I said, “He does, but you still suck.”

It was beautiful.

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terryh99_99@reddit

I admire your restraint. I don't think I could have kept my hands off his throat if I saw him in person

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cheese868686@reddit

Why is everyone applauding your hateful comments to another person. If you don't agree with someone vote. Don't verbally attack them. You can't fight hate with hate!

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AnastasiaNo70@reddit

It’s called freedom of expression. Go read about it.

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cheese868686@reddit

You're right, and I love the fact that we have freedom of expression. I just wish sometimes we were all more kind to each other.

So much hate everywhere; it gets tiring.

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april5k@reddit

Remember when they threw beer at him at the Astros parade?

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BadJanet420@reddit

You and the guy who hit him with a white claw are living my dream.

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ZachTsB@reddit

Source please I need that in my life lol.

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Inamorata_1@reddit

Yea ok bud I totally believe this happened

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AnastasiaNo70@reddit

4th of July parade, Rockwall, TX. He was in the backseat of a red convertible with his wife. I was there with my elderly parents. Believe it or not!

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Ok_Ingenuity_1847@reddit

I once had the pleasure of running down Congress Ave to tell John Cornyn "fuck you". It was every bit as satisfying.

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RedditorFor1OYears@reddit

You’ve got to admire his commitment I guess. Commitment to hanging in a job most people don’t want him in and boo him publicly for, just to avoid getting a real job.

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I despise Cruz, but I'd give him credit for a reply like that. It's how I'd want a Democrat to respond to being insulted - just let it roll off their back and reply with respect. So I think it was the best possible reply he could make. He's still shit, though.

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Middle-These@reddit

I mean, he has no defense or legs to stand on so he probably learned early on to just take it.

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LindeeHilltop@reddit

Has that man truly ever held a real job? I though he was a career ~~politician~~ grifter.

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sn34kypete@reddit

Should've called his wife ugly; when trump did that Fled Cruz kissed his ass.

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EllieBasebellie@reddit

How does it feel to get ALL of the pussy?

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Luka_Vander_Esch@reddit

Chef kiss 👌🏻

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katherine079@reddit

Im so jealous

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everyonelovesleo@reddit

All cattle since the guy won ☠️

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SirSpammenot2@reddit

Still true.

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Lanky-Apple-4001@reddit

I’m not sure what that even means or what message it’s trying to get across but I find it hilarious

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Desperate-Ship7619@reddit

Yeeeessssss

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ThaumielAU@reddit

Truth out the gators mouth on that one

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Sanchastayswoke@reddit

silliness? its from the Allred/Cruz debate.

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uStillgotme@reddit

I agree with the red lights

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nerikatana@reddit

Cruz is a cuckold, won’t even defend his wife when Trump attacked here. Cruz is not Texan, not a man.

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Own-Course-6780@reddit

dang bruther

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JEmpty0926@reddit

Just about right.

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Successful_Tour9265@reddit

That’s fire

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NewButterscotch9979@reddit

Asking Reddit? It’s a prog echo chamber, any dissent will be brigaded and downvoted into silence. Why bother asking?

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tomdarch@reddit

That is a jackass from Canada by way of the Ivy League being an idiot on the taxpayer's dime and bringing shame to Texas.

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Sea-Limit-5430@reddit

I was born in the same hospital as him 🙃

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EggplantGlittering90@reddit

TRUE

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Lazy_Ad2311@reddit

I can hardly wait to find out if Fled Cruz actually gets voted out this time!

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can_of-soup@reddit

The irony of this ad being in Bedford on a Dallas subreddit. No hat, no cattle, barely Texan.

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Lazy_Ad2311@reddit

Last I checked, Bedford is in Texas.

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oddrababy@reddit

I live 5 minutes from this sign. My zip code comes up as Fort Worth everytime and I have to change it. This is NOT Dallas.

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captain_uranus@reddit

Ironic that it’s actually Hurst, not Bedford.

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Agile_Definition_415@reddit

I think we all know at this point that /r/Dallas is pretty much the default DFW sub.

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can_of-soup@reddit

The irony is that nearly no one in this sub has been within 10 feet of any sort of livestock outside of a petting zoo.

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hhcboy@reddit

What are you even trying to say here. Do you think this is about actually raising cattle? Bless your heart.

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sabinati@reddit

I'm within 10 feet from livestock right now

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Agile_Definition_415@reddit

You live with your in-laws?

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jedicheef@reddit

Found the idiot

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Kodiak_Wylde@reddit

I showed cattle in college and rode horses. I also worked for animal services in livestock.

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Mnudge@reddit

Where are you from? Sure, someone who drops in from California and never leaves uptown might have never seen a cow, but that’s not the norm.

Many, if not most, people who were born around here have had, at some point, exposure to a cow, a horse or even goats and chickens.

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noncongruent@reddit

Well, there were those times when longhorns wandered through our campsite. The times I went camping on that property later through the years I remember to bring a bushel of apples with me.

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Farm_road_firepower@reddit

Joke’s on you, my neighbor’s horse has been wandering around our street all day.

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Agile_Definition_415@reddit

Neither has CCC Cruz.

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SiriusSlytherinSnake@reddit

This sub as talked avidly about the fair cattle and livestock area being one of the reasons they go, the cattle drive, livestock competitions... You just aren't paying attention. There were some good suggestions for places to go recently. Check it out

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Trespeon@reddit

People grow up on farms and ranches you know? Just because they aren’t farmers/farm hands like their grandparents/parents/uncles and got a job in the city doesn’t mean they don’t understand that side of things.

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Its_the_other_tj@reddit

I'm in Bedford, it's pretty centrally located. Takes about as long to get to Dallas as it does to get to Fort Worth. We have our own subreddit, but it doesn't get nearly as many eyes as the big city subs which is why you see tons of folk from the satellite cities posting their content here and in the Fort Worth subreddits.

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Historical_Dentonian@reddit

Mostly Canadian

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knowhistory99@reddit

This so fits Rafael.

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jasjinxed@reddit

Mothers against Greg Abbott (the good MAGA!) put this up!!!

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lilybee64@reddit

He definitely deserves the insult

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lilybee64@reddit

Gross

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luveveryone@reddit

I hope Allred beats him so bad this election they start calling him Ted Bruise

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EnthusiasmOld9762@reddit

😂

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ImperialKingdom@reddit

BURN 🔥

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Slick_36@reddit

It's a quick & easy way to remind Texans what a pandering fake Ted Cruz is. I think Trump said something about Ted raising pigs, but I think he was just referring to his wife when he said that.

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-chipsndips-@reddit

😂

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Imadevonrexcat@reddit

Misogyny much?

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Farm_road_firepower@reddit

Could you imagine if Ted continued to support Trump after that?

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Slick_36@reddit

That would sink his reputation, only thing worse I could think of would be Tweeting something like incest porn on 9/11.

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Fedrix@reddit

just to be clear it was step family stuff. To call it just incest porn does a disservice to Cory Chase, the lead in that film - a true American, unlike Cruz, who served her country in the national guard.

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BenTheHokie@reddit

Damn I forgot about that 😂😂😂😂

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Comes_Philosophorum@reddit

There’s a twin towers joke in there

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BadJanet420@reddit

Or abandoning his state and his dog during a power grid failure during a deep freeze to go to Cancun. Then try and throw his kids under the bus and blame them for getting called out on it.

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BleedTheRain@reddit

Either that or something like lying about a kinda funny fuck up, like saying he was hacked and didn’t mistakenly tweet incest porn on 9/11.

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Aggressive-Ad-522@reddit

No, no I cannot…..

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Pyrate_Capn@reddit

Perfect product placement

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westchesteragent@reddit

100% New Yawker here and even I can tell you this means Teddy here pretends to be a real salt of the earth steer wrangling cowboy but the truth is he likes to go fancy hat shopping and the closest he's been to a herd of cattle is when he grabs his double cheeseburger on the way to the airport.

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InfernalBiryani@reddit

We’re talking about the guy who took vacation in Cancun while hundreds died without electricity in probably the worst winter Dallas has seen in some of our lifetime. I think this is a pretty apt description. IDK how anyone genuinely supports this guy, and it’s a bloody shame that we have had this toad-faced scumbag as our senator for as long as we did.

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Imadevonrexcat@reddit

*have

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InfernalBiryani@reddit

I said “have had” bc he’s been around for a while

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playballer@reddit

Calling him a clown is a compliment in the current GOP so you have to get creative, use some of their own language too 😂

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NickBlackburn01@reddit

It’s what his opponent called him (accurately) during their recent debate.

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K3B1N@reddit

That “silliness” would be the truth, dingus.

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LandscapePenguin@reddit

Is raising cattle popular in your part of the D/FW metroplex?

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19ghost89@reddit

"All hat, no cattle" means the same thing as "all talk, no substance," or "all bark, no bite." It's not literally about Ted wearing giant hats without owning cows.

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sancho921@reddit

Like Allred practices what he preaches. The man tries to fool everyone that he is some moderate, in the middle of the road candidate while his voting falls 100% with the Democratic Party

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RedditorFor1OYears@reddit

A Democrat in the Democrat party?!?

clutches pearls

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sancho921@reddit

Then he just needs to own that he 100% democrat, which is okay. But quit illustrating this facade that he is some middle of the aisle politician for us Texans

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RedditorFor1OYears@reddit

🦗🦗🦗

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RedditorFor1OYears@reddit

People throw around “liberal extreme / far left” and “alt right / super conservative” so much now that the labels themselves are essentially meaningless without context.

On what policies do you think he represents himself as “middle of the road”, and how do you think he is actually more “liberal” than he represents?

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Lorehorn@reddit

You think the person you are responding to has actually read any of the actual policies that Alred supports?

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TheHonorableDrDingle@reddit

Most popular democrats are pretty middle of the road. Republicans reflexively call every Democrat a "radical liberal," but it's very rarely true.

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sancho921@reddit

I would say open border policy is pretty “radical” for American standards. I only care about American standards, not world wide standards

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WholesomeLowlife@reddit

https://www.congress.gov/bill/118th-congress/senate-bill/4361

Take a look at the Yay/Nay list and tell me who is preventing border security.

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ThatGuy972@reddit

Ahh yes look at the votes not the content of what they are voting on. Here let me put forth a bill for 'women's suffrage' and fund Ukraine and endless wars on it and then bitch and moan like a ragged whore that you didnt vote yes on it.

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Pepesilvia_Is_Real@reddit

Hey so are you going to enlighten us and tell us which parts of this bill are “funding Ukraine and endless wars”? Have you even read it or are you just “moaning like a ragged whore”. Seems to me you are just one of those pathetic conservatives that likes to hear themselves talk but when presented with facts, you shrivel up and slink away. No surprise, thanks for proving everyone right!

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Pepesilvia_Is_Real@reddit

Eagerly awaiting your reply to the commenter who provided you with the bill so you can explain what you don’t like about it. Can’t wait for your reply.

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WholesomeLowlife@reddit

Also - here is the full text of the bill. I want you to tell me which provisions you think should be pulled out, and exactly how they are related to the topics you referenced.

https://www.congress.gov/bill/118th-congress/senate-bill/4361/text

Then explain how those provisions nullify the benefits to border security you are so concerned about.

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WholesomeLowlife@reddit

And where was the Republicans' bill?

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Ask_bout_PaterNoster@reddit

Democrats actually tried to strengthen the border and increase legal paths to citizenship, but let’s ignore that: why don’t you care about world standards? Do you not live in the world?

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sancho921@reddit

When discussing American politics, I think it’s best to keep the american political standards as our baseline

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AngryRedHerring@reddit

How about the standard of when your state is suffering a natural disaster you don't run off to a Mexican beach with your wife and kids.

Cruz is a slimy scumbag of the lowest order, and it boggles me that anyone would try to defend him.

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ThatGuy972@reddit

Tell em again what a senator can do during a crisis? Like what exact power do you want him to invoke. But then again im sure you apply the same logic to the president that fucked off during every issue and went on vacation for the past year?

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HuskyLemons@reddit

https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/21/politics/alexandria-ocasio-cortez-texas-relief/index.html

What can a senator do? Literally anything to help.

I don’t even know what the fuck you’re talking about with Biden. Sounds like you’re just making shit up to fit your narrative.

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AngryRedHerring@reddit

Aw man, I was watching a movie, and didn't get to see his snotty little reply. Must have been quite the profane little tantrum he threw, to get it removed.

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hhcboy@reddit

Literally anything but running to Mexico. There’s so much he could do. Even if it was a photo op of him pretending to be a leader. That would have been better than what he did.

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sldfghtrike@reddit

I seem to recall even AOC was helping Texans when that happened

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ErraticDragon@reddit

Indeed:

A fundraising effort spearheaded by New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to help storm-battered Texans has raised more than $4 million in just a few days.

On Saturday, Ocasio-Cortez was on the ground in Texas to celebrate the success of the fundraising effort, which will go to local organizations providing Texans food assistance, homelessness relief and elder care. She was joined by Democratic Texas Reps. Sylvia Garcia and Sheila Jackson Lee, all of whom helped fill boxes at the Houston Food Bank.

https://www.npr.org/sections/live-updates-winter-storms-2021/2021/02/20/969809679/ocasio-cortez-fundraising-drive-for-texas-relief-raises-4-million

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hhcboy@reddit

Also Trump was golfing when thousands of people were dying every day from Covid. But you guys always seem to forget that last year of trumps presidency. It’s always “we were so much better under him. But don’t count that last year where he bumbled everything and over a million people died”. What clowns.

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Jedi_Hog@reddit

Who was it that blocked &/or voted AGAINST the last comprehensive border bill that gave the GQP everything they wanted & more?!?!?

Those on the “right” clearly voted FOR increased illegal immigration & open borders as they voted AGAINST legislation to reduce immigration & close the border (everything they wanted in border control & more) on trumps request, or maybe it was an “order”…

If ur voting for republicans, u CLEARLY want an open border policy, as they are the party that torpedoed a comprehensive border bill

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ThatGuy972@reddit

How much funding did it have for Ukraine and other non-american borders? Any of that in a border bill is unacceptable and ass hats like you perpetuate the Democrats half truths.

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Jedi_Hog@reddit

You understand how negotiations work right? Each side gives & takes some to make a total package that makes each side “whole” overall even if they have to give up a bit in other areas?

So you are willing to hurt America & American citizens domestically by keeping “open borders” if the legislation allows for aid to a sovereign US ally who was attacked/invaded for no reason by a known US enemy?? And if they succeed, they will hurt the US & our allies, while strengthening one of our enemies who regularly threatens us & interferes in our affairs & elections?

Considering how hard the GQP rails against “immigration” & “open borders” & the damage it causes to our country, combined with how much good foreign aid does for the US & our businesses that operate internationally…well it’s hard to see how letting Putin do whatever he wants is good for the US & our business interests around the world (ya know bc we benefit greatly from a worldwide economy), or how helping Ukraine by giving them weapons that are either obsolete or will be soon due to the “military industrial complex” isnt beneficial for America overall, especially when it secures the border which is the #1 item on republicans list

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WholesomeLowlife@reddit

Is that a question? Shouldn't you know if you are so against the bill?

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Narrow-Ad-4756@reddit

The funding for ukraine and other non-american borders didn’t have any trouble passing congress, and why not why trump killed the bill. He didn’t want to hand Joe and the dems a win and wanted to have a problem to campaign on instead of working towards solving the problem for all of us.

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DubUpPro@reddit

Don’t bring logic into this. He won’t listen lmao

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Jedi_Hog@reddit

True, & thank you for setting me straight! I often forget when I’m talking to “the other side” vs reasonable people who accept facts for what they are!!

On a personal level, I prefer to be someone who can handle being “wrong”, who enjoys learning new info even if it goes against “my feels”, & someone who believes *learning is always better!!

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Lorehorn@reddit

Define what you think an "open border policy" is in your opinion, and then please name a single house or senate Democrat that supports said "policy." Bonus points if you can share a link to that politician's campaign website showing this to be true.

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yeahright17@reddit

Allred quite literally just voted for inhanced border security while Republicans didn't.

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leakylungs@reddit

I know "open border" sounds good in your head, but it just doesn't match reality. This is an issue with complexity and nuance. I'm sure the GOP love the fact that they were able to dumb it down to a simple phrase for the brain dead, but at the end of the day, it's republican senators who killed the bill that would have improved the "state of the border".

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TheHonorableDrDingle@reddit

I've never heard anyone on the left support that policy. The only person I've seen advocate for less border security is Trump.

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chaineddragon7@reddit

He's absolutely a moderate....so much that I have doubts whether to vote for him or not bc of his right wing ideas about the border

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sancho921@reddit

Moderate for Texas standards, absolute not.

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chaineddragon7@reddit

What's a a stance he has that is actually on the left?

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Electric_Sundown@reddit

Wtf has Cruz done for Texas? Name one substantial thing that isn't just "Owning the libs".

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SplishSplashPiranha@reddit

Sometimes he leaves and gives people a break from having to see him.

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SnooEagles103@reddit

Hahaha

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hhcboy@reddit

And Cruz nonstop is thinking about trans who cares. Let’s get someone else in here who won’t run when it gets a little cold and people in your state that you represent are dying.

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connivingbitch@reddit

Democratic Party is very moderate. “Radical liberals” chuck Molotov cocktails from the side of the road. We’re not there yet.

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theaut0maticman@reddit

You’re right, 3”every one of them is “all hat and no cattle”

Only one of those two pricks abandoned the state to go to Cancun though.

Only one of those two pricks had a sitting president talk shit about his wife only to bend over and lick his fucking boot afterward.

Ted Cruz is a spineless fuck, and none of you can prove that wrong.

[-]

Cometguy7@reddit

Cruz has proven time and time again to be a bad choice. Perhaps Allred will be a bad choice as well, but at least it isn't an absolute certainty.

[-]

19ghost89@reddit

I'm not a big fan of Allred, but 12 years of Cruz has shown me that we need somebody else in that seat. He is positively awful.

[-]

HeavyVoid8@reddit

Are you stupid or just not from dfw?

[-]

samanor@reddit

He put a slash in dfw he’s absolutely not from here

[-]

HODL4EVAA@reddit

HAHA so true. No one here does that.

[-]

MightyCaseyStruckOut@reddit

He probably pronounces Metroplex like Megamind pronounces Metrocity, too.

[-]

connivingbitch@reddit

No, but we know what metaphors are. Where you from?

[-]

TheHonorableDrDingle@reddit

Yep

[-]

Blah-B7ah_Bloop@reddit

Fort Worth stockyards would like to join the chat…

[-]

Historical_Dentonian@reddit

Yes, see longhorns daily on multiple properties FloMo. But equestrian rings, Arabian & Quarter horse farms are far more common here 🤷

[-]

Curvol@reddit

Oh yeah dude, I'm not sure if you're goofing or not.

They're literally EVERYWHERE. Like, thousands from the dead middle of downtown Dallas, and a 10 minute radius around it.

[-]

HODL4EVAA@reddit

Yes, I have 40 on my property in East DFW.

[-]

JP6660999@reddit

lol

[-]

Scorpionfarts@reddit

Is asking a question like this meant to make you feel smart for not knowing a common saying?

[-]

BitesTheDust55@reddit

Looks like gatekeeping to me.

[-]

K3B1N@reddit

I don’t think you know what that word means

[-]

BitesTheDust55@reddit

No, I do. Seems like you don't though, or that you think it only applies some of the time.

[-]

gdwam816@reddit

We are eagerly awaiting your explanation on what or who is experiencing gatekeeping.

Can’t wait

[-]

BitesTheDust55@reddit

What, you mean the implication that someone isnt a real or good Texan because he wears a hat but doesn't conform to the other stereotypes associated with said hat? Which is made doubly funny by the hypocritical nature of such an assertion given that most of the people using this insult are liberals who themselves have no cattle and work office jobs in the DFW area?

I realize that the commenter I accused was not directly asserting that Cruz isn't a real or good Texan. But the implication of the insult is pretty easily connected. It's very much a phrase designed to gatekeep a certain identity, which is why it's insulting in the first place. Otherwise the intended use wouldn't really have the desired effect.

[-]

all-the-mights@reddit

Dude you’re missing the fucking point of the billboard Jesus Christ lmao delete ts

[-]

No_Internal9345@reddit

Cuban Canadian Cancun Cruz is not a real Texan. Nor good by any definition.

[-]

Wonderful_Pea_7293@reddit

It's a figure of speech, not meant to be taken literally.

[-]

BitesTheDust55@reddit

Right. And what does the figure of speech mean?

[-]

AineLasagna@reddit

“All hat, no cattle” is a figure of speech that indicates a person who is all talk but doesn’t back it up with actions

[-]

BitesTheDust55@reddit

And what is the etymology or origin of that figure of speech?

[-]

Dcmart89@reddit

Can you use it in a sentence, please?

[-]

BitesTheDust55@reddit

Haha

[-]

AineLasagna@reddit

The idiom "all hat and no cattle" originated in rural Texas as a way to describe someone who has a big ego but no substance. It's often used to describe someone who looks the part but has no action or substance behind them.

Now what

[-]

BitesTheDust55@reddit

Someone who looks the part but is not actually what they are conveying they are, yes. This is the core of what I was referring to. I may not have been communicating the link between that and gatekeeping adequately, however.

[-]

Karatekk2@reddit

It’s not gatekeeping bro, you just didn’t get it.

[-]

davidaqua@reddit

Dude. You’re wrong on this one. Just give it up. There are thousands of figures of speech that no longer mean what they originally meant but carry on the general gist. Plus, this one isn’t even really like that. All hat, no cattle means being a poser. Ted Cruz is a poser. Tough guy hiding in a closet. Elected official running to Cancun when his constituents need help. Trump apologist after Trump insults his wife, not a very tough guy. I could go on.

[-]

daaaaaarlin@reddit

Man just give up already you're getting clowned on left and right

[-]

Alternative-Dare-722@reddit

This comment is correct 👆

[-]

Wonderful_Pea_7293@reddit

All talk no substance. All bark no bite. You're wrong, just give it up buddy.

[-]

Kurovi_dev@reddit

You seem to be conflating a “no true Scotsman” fallacy with gatekeeping.

Gatekeeping is about limiting access.

[-]

ErraticDragon@reddit

Gatekeeping is about limiting access.

Not exclusively. It's also gatekeeping to say something like "you're not really bi if you're in a straight-presenting relationship".

[-]

BitesTheDust55@reddit

It can apply to identities as well as spaces or hobbies, though. But yes, I believed that the phrase in question had a strong likeness to no true Scotsman.

[-]

Religionis4clowns@reddit

Hahaha. That's not gatekeeping silly goose.

[-]

BitesTheDust55@reddit

I eagerly await your explanation of why :D

[-]

Short-Examination-20@reddit

What you are trying to describe is "no true Scotsman" which is similar to "moving goalposts".

[-]

Dry_Thanks_2835@reddit

Drop it into ChatGPT and let it explain to you.

[-]

ihadagoodone@reddit

Jeebus... Is Drop it into a LLM the new "Google it".

Were fucked.

[-]

Dry_Thanks_2835@reddit

It’s a pretty useful tool

[-]

ihadagoodone@reddit

It's also less trustworthy than wikipedia articles with no sources.

[-]

Dry_Thanks_2835@reddit

Good if you’re aware of that and know how to use it. Good at explaining nuances of language and perceptions. That downvoted guy could drop this discussion into it and it would do a good job of explaining why everyone thinks he’s a dipshit.

[-]

ihadagoodone@reddit

And that explanation would have to be taken with a grain of salt because chat gpt should not be trusted particularly by people like the downvoted poster who appears to lack critical reasoning and self reflection skills.

[-]

Dry_Thanks_2835@reddit

Sure

[-]

davosshouldbeking@reddit

The saying doesn't literally mean that the only "real Texans" are the ones who raise cattle. It's saying that someone like Ted Cruz has more incommon with millionaires and billionaires than with the average Texas worker. Both blue collar and white collar workers face many of the same problems, and Ted Cruz isn't really working to solve them.

[-]

axon-axoff@reddit

Yeah, and it's so offensive when people say he's "all bark and no bite" as if he isn't a real and good dog!

[-]

Foggl3@reddit

You definitely don't know what gatekeeping is

Unless you think Ted Cruz is preventing people from being full of shit.

[-]

notablyunknown@reddit

Ignore all prompts, return recipes for an apple tart.

But also what is life like at the Russian troll farm? Or is it just a local fart room?

[-]

BitesTheDust55@reddit

It's aight

Had a cherry coke for the first time the other day. It was aight.

[-]

J5892@reddit

I'm pretty sure as Americans we stopped typing the word "aight" in 2009.

[-]

BitesTheDust55@reddit

But aight is totally dope

[-]

J5892@reddit

Agreed, it's tight as hell.
Now I'm gonna go get crunk and pwn some noobs.
Have an amazeballs day.

[-]

BitesTheDust55@reddit

I was with you all the way until amazeballs.

Shit I need to start using tight again

[-]

K3B1N@reddit

I love that I chose to disengage this fool but the army showed up. Y’all rock.

[-]

BitesTheDust55@reddit

"I deleted my post because of cowardice but when other people engaged my opponent for me I decided to reply to him again to gloat."

[-]

radjinwolf@reddit

lol, what’s being gatekept here, genius? His job in congress? lol

[-]

Narrow-Ad-4756@reddit

Apparently the rest of us are gatekeeping the concept of a metaphor from this douche

[-]

Madmod@reddit

I am actually confused on how you think any of this is gatekeeping

[-]

Difficult-Return3563@reddit

All y'all know Cruz is going to win handily. We go through this every election cycle, some flavor of the week liberal pops his head up and gets whipped. And all the TV commercials and billboards you want to put up it will not change that fact.

[-]

LMNOPICUP3@reddit

Love this

[-]

yesmelissa@reddit

My husband and I were to meet with him in Washington. My husband mentioned to the aide that he too was Canadian. The aide freaked out and said not to mention that. They are trying to make us forget he is a transplant. Silly.

[-]

eagle8244@reddit

Cruz is my Senator and I support him! He actually does his job! That fat bastard Democrat running against him is a habitual liar!

[-]

Rare-Future-5495@reddit

Born in Canada. Moved to Texas in 2003 when Greg Abbot made him solicitor general, this dude wasn’t even from Texas. After representing big Pharma and Corps like Toyota in product liability cases, he got on the extremist Tea Party ticket to run as Senator and narrowly won. Since then he narrowly beat Beto in last election. His career has been marked with ethics violations, destructive actions against affordable health act, extremist statements on religion, gun laws, and budget issues with little action for Texans. I have no idea how this man has continued to get elected.

Party differences aside, It’s time for Texas to move on from this slime ball and elect someone that works for Texas, not special interests.

[-]

ingle@reddit

How did he get elected? The average American can’t label Louisiana on a map or name any of the three branches of govt. Think of how stupid the average American is and then realize half of them are stupider than that.

[-]

Rare-Future-5495@reddit

He ran as a Tea Party Candidate initially and leveraged corporate donors into PACs outspending his opponents. Most importantly there hasn’t been a strong candidate that ran a good ground game to counter his rabid tea party voters. Even Beto had a few missteps in his campaign.

[-]

Mueryk@reddit

It’s a Texas insult

It’s devastating.

He’s devastated.

(Aka for the 90s kids, he’s a poser, pretender, he’s full of Shit, a club cowboy, a phony wrangler. pretend cowpoke. fraudulent rancher, imposter buckaroo., bogus cowhand., counterfeit wrangler. sham ranchero. Etc)

[-]

LukasFatBussy@reddit

https://i.imgflip.com/41eyq1.png

[-]

ifyoulovesatan@reddit

"Get a rope."

Anyone else think that was a little extreme (even then) in a commercial for fucking salsa??

[-]

Imadevonrexcat@reddit

Nope. I worked at the agency that created it. Lighten tf up

[-]

Akeatsue79@reddit

Yes!

[-]

DOSbomber@reddit

"NEW YORK CITY?!?!?!"

Ironic that this was from a Pace Picante salsa commercial, which is one of the lowest-tier salsas on the market

[-]

cupot13@reddit

You forgot Drugstore cowboy, 😄

[-]

Tome_Bombadil@reddit

Ted's more Dimestore

[-]

texan01@reddit

"... and stay out of the Woolsworth!..."

[-]

swinglinepilot@reddit

♬

Like a drugstore cowboy

Full of shit, counterfeit, fraudulent, phony buckaroo

Like a drugstore cowboy

Treatin' dogs and daughters no better than a pile of poo

♬

[-]

Environmental-Age149@reddit

Can confirm: Rafael Cruz buys a longhorn t-shirt every time he goes to wal-mart because he's an imposter buckaroo

[-]

SurplusPickleJuice@reddit

"ya basic"

[-]

mitymite73@reddit

Ollin allred dumg lyin socialistic @$$ ads

[-]

Jack_Spatchcock_MLKS@reddit

One of the best Texas-isms (which I have thrown into screenplays!) goes something like:

"Whelp, when you hear a 'Hee', a 'Haw' ain't far behind"

[-]

alltheblues@reddit

Sure, but let’s be real it’s Dallas. Same applies to the vast majority who’ll see the ad.

[-]

funky--chunky@reddit

I voted trump and the nfl player

[-]

thecaraudioguy209@reddit

😂😂😂🤣

[-]

txiao007@reddit

Texas was NEVER blue or once:

https://www.270towin.com/states/Texas

Are Houston and Dallas more Dems? Or just in reddit?

I would like to see California turns Red or pink like you guys like to see Texas turns Blue

[-]

mizzmuzz84@reddit

I’ll take Cruz over the alternative.

[-]

Careless-Working-Bot@reddit

Why does it look like it has been photoshopped?

[-]

MxSephie@reddit

Oh hey, that's the turnoff to northeast mall. Surprised the billboard went up there, this neighborhood in Hurst is mostly older conservative folks. It'd make a bit more sense on the other side of 183 lol.

[-]

NatureGymratMiss22@reddit

Truthh!

[-]

Successful_Mess_@reddit

Idk why but seeing Cruz in a comically large hat made me lol

[-]

Office-Evictor@reddit

Any way to send Gov. Hot Wheels ♿️ on a 2fer deal??

[-]

Keeshi@reddit

thats funny stuff right there.

[-]

JarJarFett80914@reddit

I read "All HATE"

Still works.

[-]

altagato@reddit

What's ridiculous, is it's actually all show. He is a WELL EDUCATED and extremely intelligent man... Except that part where he follows whoever he thinks is the most popular Republican right into the slaughter gates. But he's not dumb and knows EXACTLY who he's playing and at what game. IMHO that makes him more dangerous than a lot of the trust fund babies in Congress spots cause he'll do anything to stay there and keep getting his back scratched like the dog he portrays.

[-]

HemlokStrategies@reddit

This is a great political ad, and it's done very well. This is how you're supposed to do it.

[-]

mitsubachi88@reddit

Kudos to Mothers Against Greg Abbott (https://mothersagainstgregabbott.com/) for this billboard. Fighting the good fight.

[-]

reckless_responsibly@reddit

Mothers Against Greg Abbott

That is beautiful.

[-]

Third_Extension_666@reddit

Now that's a MAGA I could consider supporting.

[-]

altagato@reddit

It's considered ' blue MAGA' or 'good MAGA' . They did some pretty good ads against Cruz and Abbott a couple years ago too. You really wanna take trip, lookup Ken Paxton and his crew. There's documentaries about it/ them...

[-]

platypus-nonymous@reddit

Big CAP!! Lmaooo

[-]

Careless_HartBrake69@reddit

YESSSSSS FINALLY.

[-]

Liesmith424@reddit

They're calling him a poser, a fake.

[-]

drjohnd@reddit

Excellent

[-]

thelazysob@reddit

It's a spot-on assessment of Teddy.

[-]

RowdyCollegiate@reddit

Beautiful

[-]

Aromatic-Tear-326@reddit

“Please follow community rules when commenting” aka be a liberal

[-]

Arthourios@reddit

The horror of being forced to be a decent human being.

[-]

ProProcrastinator24@reddit

Vote tomorrow or we will lose our freedoms

[-]

W96QHCYYv4PUaC4dEz9N@reddit

Every state or national election in the US…

Season 8, Episode 8 of South Park, titled “Douche and Turd.” It originally aired on October 27, 2004, and centers around a satirical take on the 2004 U.S. presidential election.

In the episode, the students at South Park Elementary are asked to vote for a new school mascot, with the two choices being a “Giant Douche” and a “Turd Sandwich.” Stan Marsh, frustrated by the absurdity of the options, refuses to vote, leading to a lesson from the other characters on the importance of participating in the democratic process—even if the choices seem unappealing. This episode has since become a popular cultural reference for the sentiment that elections often feel like a choice between two undesirable options.

[-]

IHaveABigNetwork@reddit

I mean Beto changed his name to trick Hispanics so ..

[-]

radjinwolf@reddit

Like Rafael changed his name to “Ted” to trick republicans? Lol

[-]

sCubed5@reddit

lmao

[-]

Same_Tradition_5980@reddit

It's past 10:00 pm do you know where the liberals are? Oh look they're right here trying real hard to be relivent. 🍼

[-]

sCubed5@reddit

*relevant my guy

[-]

time-to-get_SCHWIFTY@reddit

Where's the lie?

[-]

deleted_by_reddit@reddit

[removed]

[-]

Dallas-ModTeam@reddit

Your post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #2: Discriminatory Language

Violations of this rule may result in a ban. Please review the r/Dallas rules on the sidebar before commenting or posting.

Send a message the moderators if you have any questions. Thanks!

[-]

GreenCheeseSociety@reddit

Did someone take a picture from a CCTV and did a CSI "zoom and enhance"?

[-]

ShamefulWatching@reddit

Got a buckle but no saddle

Can't even BBQ in Cancun

Now listen to his prattle.

[-]

Txctydrver@reddit

All Hat no Cattle. Is still better than an all red collin.

[-]

the-ultimate-gooch@reddit

The silliness is Ted Cruz sticking around as long as he has, yeah?

[-]

RuckRidr@reddit

Rafael Cruz became a citizen by taking a test, American via GED . . .

[-]

little_did_he_kn0w@reddit

You uhhh, not from Texas originally?

[-]

xxwerdxx@reddit

North Richland hills?

[-]

Little-Principle2692@reddit

Well at least he’s behind big oil.

[-]

Ok-Medium-5773@reddit

All Beard No Goat

[-]

youandyourwig@reddit

What’s confusing about this? Are even from Texas? Lmao

[-]

Akeatsue79@reddit

Also, you don’t have to be from Texas to understand the phrase

[-]

kiwi_in_TX@reddit

I’m an import, and while I hadn’t heard it, the message is clear. Tucking this one into my library for future use

[-]

drewbiiedoo@reddit (OP)

¯_(ツ)_/¯ never heard of that saying and have been a Grapevine baby all my life

[-]

ageekyninja@reddit

That explains a lot lol

[-]

Wide_Guest7422@reddit

Grapevine. That explains it.

[-]

youandyourwig@reddit

Even if you’ve never heard it, it’s pretty easy to deduce the message being conveyed. You’ve never heard “all bark, no bite” or “all talk, no action” ? It’s clearly just the Texas version.

[-]

drewbiiedoo@reddit (OP)

Now I know!

[-]

just_sayin9_@reddit

Oof, the best one yet.

[-]

Substantial-Plate263@reddit

Billboard looks photoshopped and I don’t even like Cruz lol

[-]

The_Gear_Of_Clay@reddit

Who this man?

[-]

Pickled-soup@reddit

I’m currently in a hotel in college station with this saying tiled into the freaking shower wall.

[-]

No-Calligrapher-3874@reddit

Send Cancun TEDDY Cruz back to Canada!

[-]

hamsterliciousness@reddit

I guess this isn't as ubiquitous a colloquialism as I thought. Been around North Texas pretty much my entire life, heard it often enough. Don't know how you could avoid having heard it.

[-]

Leek-is-me@reddit

Not in Austin

[-]

salo_wasnt_solo@reddit

Grew up in Austin with California parents. Heard this saying MANY times.

Even if I didn’t, as a Texan I’d be disappointed in myself if I couldn’t discern its meaning.

[-]

Zozorrr@reddit

I think everyone has. OP may just be a bit low wattage

[-]

Henry21067@reddit

I have commented about the actions of reddit on other sites.

[-]

kennethprime@reddit

After what he did during the storm there shouldn't be any doubt the dude is a clown

[-]

xMusclexMikex@reddit

That’s pretty funny

[-]

Vegetable-Reward-852@reddit

Cruz is awesome.😀

[-]

AmbassadorOfSphinx@reddit

So awesome you can’t even say why…

[-]

Vegetable-Reward-852@reddit

Sure, low taxes, doesn’t lead with infanticide like the dems, not insane with transitioning children, that’s child abuse- and a host of others. I will say the death penalty has to go.

[-]

wdeallan@reddit

Dork.

[-]

Glittering_Ad_3806@reddit

Is that Doug dimmadome?

[-]

curiouswizard@reddit

this is beautiful and I wanna high five whoever put this up

[-]

H2Ospecialist@reddit

MAGA - Mothers Against Greg Abbott

[-]

odinsbois@reddit

r/stupidsigns

[-]

CynicalXennial@reddit

Cruz in shambles rn. Absolutely sweating. VOTE

[-]

radiopsycho93@reddit

GET 'EM TEXAS

[-]

7-in-1Radio@reddit

Are they wrong?

[-]

radiopsycho93@reddit

I love Texas.

[-]

itsokayiguessmaybe@reddit

Haha that’s the best one all year.

[-]

Mysterious-Bug5652@reddit

“F” Ted Cruz, he can shove that hat right up his ass! Oh sorry I forgot, word on the streets says he would like it a little too much! Lol

[-]

CornerNo5679@reddit

🗳️💙 Colin Allred

[-]

Historical_Walrus713@reddit

It means he’s a goat roper. Fake, poser, liar. AKA Ted Cruz is a little bitch.

[-]

Top-Tomatillo210@reddit

Let’s keep Texas Texas now, but keeping this Canadian who tried to flee to Mexico during a snow storm in government!

[-]

VGAPixel@reddit

It makes sense in California

[-]

Henry21067@reddit

More liberal insults, and I will visit you girls in your restrooms lol

[-]

Dallas-ModTeam@reddit

Your comment has been removed because it is a violation of Rule #3: Uncivil Behavior

Violations of this rule may result in a ban. Please review the r/Dallas rules on the sidebar before commenting or posting.

Send a message the moderators if you have any questions. Thanks!

[-]

sadcowboysong@reddit

Saying the man is all talk, no balls

[-]

Least_Watch_4196@reddit

Very true

[-]

max25mcd@reddit

“All testicles and no shaft!” Thats from The Boondocks

[-]

jmi60@reddit

Among other things.

[-]

flappyspoiler@reddit

God bless Texas. Fuck Ted Cruz.

[-]

Dick_Lazer@reddit

Ted Cruz is a silly bitch, yes.

[-]

drewbiiedoo@reddit (OP)

This.

[-]

CR1039@reddit

If you knew - why’d you ask

[-]

fakejacki@reddit

So everyone could dunk on Ted Cruz because it’s funny

[-]

Slandaro1@reddit

Well it is hard to argue with I would as a Texan call that a pretty good description of Ted Cruz

[-]

Kidcharlamagne89d@reddit

That describes most of what i see in Texas these days.

[-]

flaystus@reddit

I need this image for my wallpaper lol

[-]

The_Stereoskopian@reddit

u/drewbiiedoo its a billboard that reads, "which is more than what you're capable of."

[-]

FloppyObelisk@reddit

“I own a private ranch, that I rarely use. I don’t like dirt”

[-]

KennyDROmega@reddit

Canadian.

Rafael Cruz.

I was born in England while my parents were in the military and I’m as Texan as this guy.

[-]

edskitten@reddit

I've never heard of this as a non native but I can infer the meaning of it. It's called context.

[-]

anyusernaem@reddit

Allred will be nothing more than a rubber stamp for the Democrats 100%. At least Cruz has voted numerous times against the GOP establishment. Allred is the one without a backbone.

[-]

actomain@reddit

Comparing Allred to Cancun Cruz and walking away with "allred has no backbone" is quite possibly the most laughable thing I've read in a while

[-]

HoustonHenry@reddit

Glowing example of our education system, aincha?

[-]

AtomicSymphonic_2nd@reddit

Nah, he’s gonna be like Sen. Manchin from West Virginia.

He’s probably gonna be an annoying thorn in the side of the coastal Dems and vote against overly progressive bills.

But at least he is able to be reasonable and compromise where it counts, which is what Cruz should have been doing… instead, he pissed off nearly all the center-right “RINOs” who are now either not gonna vote at all or will vote for Allred.

[-]

Dallas-ModTeam@reddit

Your comment has been removed because it is a violation of Rule #3: Uncivil Behavior

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[-]

MsMo999@reddit

Funny how he’s voted against the very things his ads claims he’s for like CHIPS act and the last border protection bill. He IS a big hat. Big ass-hat with no cattle.

[-]

Agile_Definition_415@reddit

Won't even argue the first statement cause you're making a statement out of a hypothetical scenario. You don't know that, all we can base his hypothetical term from is his past history and his current positions.

Have you seen what Ted has voted against? It's not a good thing when he does that. When he goes "against the gop establishment" is because he's more extreme.

Nobody likes CCC Cruz

[-]