Is it acceptable to sunbath in your garden waring just underwear?

Posted by PopHead_1814@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 323 comments

Could do some with some opinions on this. As the weathers been nice recently I’ve been sunbathing in my garden quite a lot. I tend to sunbathe in my boxers to minimise any tan lines. This afternoon one of my neighbours caught me while I was going out to my car and asked me to put clothes on when I’m outside as you can see into my garden from their teenage daughters bedroom and they’ve noticed her checking me out over the past week or so and aren’t happy about it. The whole things made me feel incredibly uncomfortable, I know I could just chuck some swim shorts on or something but the stubborn part of me thinks why the hell shouldn’t I be able to wear what I want in my own property, and I don’t see how a pair of boxerbriefs is any different to a lot of swimwear or a woman sunbathing in a bikini so I feel like the whole thing is a bit ridiculous. Am I going to come across like a creep if I continue to do this? For a bit of extra context I am a 33 year old gay male who has absolutely interest in putting on a show for a teenage girl, it’s just my preference for sunbathing.

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323 Comments

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newnortherner21@reddit

The one good thing is that they spoke to you, not phoning the police, or whinging on the local Facebook group. This is the UK where nudity or underwear causes people to freak out in some cases, so the comments you got are not surprising. Get a pair of speedos or other swimwear.

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PopHead_1814@reddit (OP)

Well ironically most of my swimwear is no different in terms of the amount of skin on display than my boxerbriefs.

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auntie_eggma@reddit

But they contextualise the situation differently. Swimsuits are not pants. There is something different about someone in their pants v swimwear. So wear your swim trunks, and no one can reasonably argue they aren't appropriate for sunbathing.

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discombobulatededed@reddit

I don’t think he needs to contextualise in his own garden. Teenage daughter should know better than to be perving on people from the window and even if she does it, she’s seeing a man in his boxers, it’s hardly going to cause her any harm is it?

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auntie_eggma@reddit

You can argue he shouldn't have to, but it's a pretty small change to make, all things considered. Not exactly a hardship or huge sacrifice to make for a congenial relationship with the neighbours. Plus it guarantees the complaining neighbour has no leg to stand on. There's no way to argue that swimsuits are private (unless you don't know beaches or public swimming pools exist) or inappropriate for the act of sunbathing. But someone COULD argue that about undergarments.

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stringdingetje@reddit

Following that logic it would be enough to state that what you're wearing is a swim suit

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Westsidepipeway@reddit

It seems like a them problem not a him problem. Why should he have to adjust because they can't understand the equivalency of boxers and swim wear?

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auntie_eggma@reddit

Sometimes life is less about shoulds and more about 'how can we make this go away as painlessly as possible?'

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tomatojournal@reddit

It's a fine line but I agree. Swim trunks

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

why? Sounds a lot like victim blaming.

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RandomGoatYT@reddit

I’m not the person you replied too but it’s not necessarily victim blaming but offering an alternative. OP probably owns swimwear that’s similar to their underwear and it would be basically no hassle to buy some if they don’t. Some people prefer to change what their behaviour rather than face short-term arguments and long-term disgruntlement.

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ThrowawayTrainee749@reddit

But OP is just in their own garden. It’s like wearing a pair of bicycle shorts as a woman.

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doesanyonelse@reddit

I feel like it’s not though. It’s like wearing a bra vs wearing a bikini top. If you’re bigger boob’d then bikini tops are almost identical to bras, with the underwire and the padding and the thicker straps and the cup shape… but I’d wear a bikini top in front of my brother / dad / nephew etc who I wouldn’t dream of wearing only a bra in front of. It is different because of the context and how it would make other people feel i.e me walking around the pool in a bikini = perfectly normal vs walking around their house in my underwear = uncomfortable. That said I don’t think the OP is doing anything wrong because he’s in his own garden, but I do understand how it could make others feel uncomfortable because it’s underwear and we’ve all been socialised to not see that as normal.

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TokeInTheEye@reddit

You've literally made an arbitrary distinction here.

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auntie_eggma@reddit

Society makes that distinction. It's contextual, not arbitrary.

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ThrowawayTrainee749@reddit

It’s not even like the neighbour is uncomfortable. Their daughter is being a creep.

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ThrowawayTrainee749@reddit

A bra and a bikini top are the exact same thing. The only difference is the material.

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RandomGoatYT@reddit

I don’t think OP should have to change what they’re doing but they might want to change it to avoid confrontation with their neighbours

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The_Burning_Wizard@reddit

It would all come down to the approach from the neighbour. If they'd asked nicely, I'd consider it, but from what OP says it sounds like they were barking instructions at him, in which case they can do one.

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

They can offer all the alternatives they want, a full suit maybe? Still is not relevant to the situation. They have to spend money because their neighbour is an arsehole? No. Giving in is fine if thats how you want to live your life but they have no legal standing, if anything they are opening their daughters up to issues which are more likely the parents.

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RandomGoatYT@reddit

Yeah I get what you’re saying but a compromise is still a valid option. It’s summer, if OP doesn’t already own swimwear like that now is the time where they are likely to buy new swimwear anyway. Many people value getting along with their neighbours over being right and proving it.

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

Seems people have some shitty neighbours then, which seems to be the case. Capitulating to stupid idiots is not getting along, its giving in to idiots demands. Maybe they could stop perving on OP and get a fucking life. It will not get better if they just roll over and take it.

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RandomGoatYT@reddit

I agree but sometimes it’s easier to compromise and move on

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

It is easier to just give in to people who threaten you, is that right?

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RandomGoatYT@reddit

There is no threat mentioned in the post, don’t make this something it’s not. OP says they know they can just wear swimwear but it’s the “stubborn part” of them that makes them want to fight it.

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

There is very much an implied threat, mentioning teenagers was a huge part of it. Why should they have to change to smaller swimwear because someone is being fucking weird about clothing being larger?

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RandomGoatYT@reddit

OP literally called themselves stubborn. They don’t have to change what they’re doing. They might want to change what they’re doing for the sake of saving an argument. If I was in OP’s position, with the information provided, I would just wear trunks. That isn’t to say OP has to do that. I don’t know how else you want me to restate the same thing.

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

I don't want you to do anything, OP choosing to wear their own clothes in their own garden is a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

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RandomGoatYT@reddit

Yeah, *I agree*

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mintiebadger@reddit

Even if he switched to swimsuits, they will complain. People be peopling. In this case peeping.

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auntie_eggma@reddit

Sure they might, but his position will be stronger.

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Leifang666@reddit

OP can actually counter argue how uncomfortable he is being spied on like that in his own garden. The teenage girl's behaviour is really out of hand. (Unless the neighbour is making a scene over nothing).

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Next-Tip9382@reddit

He can but she's a teenager. Either she's looking out the window and mum or dad walk in and say "what are you looking at?" and there's Eric McCormack outside in his underpants - and they've made a fuss over nothing. Like something from a carry on film when the guy is using a telescope and the wife says "Can I use it?" and he knocks it with his butt as he's moving to let her and instead of pointing at the magpie nest, it's over to the neighbour who is Barbara Windsor sunbathing topless and his wife hit him and walks out the room to his bewilderment. Or he's out there all the time and this teenage girl is becoming more and more infatuated and gazing out the window at her dishy half naked neighbour. Which would stop me going out there for sure no matter how much I thought it was my garden and I can walk around it naked or whatever.

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TotallyNotGwempeck@reddit

The teenage daughter isn't the one with the problem, the parents are. OP is perfectly within his rights to continue as he is, it's his garden and his genitalia is covered. Furthermore he's not doing it for attention he's just after a nice even tan. The teenage daughter, she sees something that's made her excited and she's copping an eyeful. So what? So we're left with the parents who should probably seek professional help.

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

Whats the difference? Seriously? The swimwear is smaller and thinner, as if that matters from a distance. I am ever confused why boxers are not acceptable while speedos are fine? Do they need to have a water feature nearby? That appears to be the only feature that matters, distance to water. Is a pool you aren't using better or worse than the sea you are not using? If any difference then why? If not is a pond ok? Paddling Pool?

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doesanyonelse@reddit

I think the difference is how it makes other people feel. I would have been mortified growing up if my brother had accidentally walked in on me in my bra, but it’s the same brother who saw me in a near identical bikini top every holiday. Just as I’d be mortified to see a man in Tesco in a pair of Y fronts, but the same guy at the local pool in speedos = absolutely fine. It’s the context that matters rather than the amount of skin showing.

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

That doesn't answer the question tho. If it it functionally the same, which a bra could be but is not always then whats the difference other the the name of the item? I have seen bikinis way smaller than a bra and pants, also a lingerie set be smaller than a bikini. Whats the deciding factor, the name? if size is irrelevant and material is irrelevant than what is relevant? If its context then why are bras and pants not ok at a beach but a bikini top and thong is? Its nonsensical. Say its a male presenting person, can they be topless? Why can't someone who is not? Why can they be fine to be topless by a beach without going in the water but elsewhere is viewed differently? Does water have special powers? Using your example are speedos and Y fronts both equally as bad? Is a bikini and a bra and pants the same? Is a topless person ok by the sea but not elsewhere? The boundaries are ridiculous.

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Next-Tip9382@reddit

I think it does answer the question. We're comfortable accepting a state of undress at the beach or swimming pool that we wouldn't be if it was people in their underwear or swimming stuff at work, or in the supermarket. You don't need to over analyze it. The feelings exist and they are real. It's the same thing as wondering why the thought of putting someone's finger in my mouth feels revolting but I'm willing to do all manner of things to someone I'm attracted to in an intimate setting. There's no logic per se. Obviously both feel disgusting because we've evolved a response to avoid germs. Similarly though we've evolved another drive that sometimes will override that one and we'll be intimate with someone in a way that would disgust us the rest of the time. There's no point trying to overthink or find some logic for this stuff. They're just social mores and they do change over time. A girl who feels vulnerable and uncomfortable standing in her bra and knickers is strolling down the beach in a swimsuit or bikini. You might think there's no logical difference but we all know there is a difference.

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lorin_fortuna@reddit

So going by your logic, [this](https://www.drinkstuff.com/productimg/25158.jpg) is more acceptable than [this] (https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/cd/Garment.jpg) when it comes to sunbathing. I think I'm finally seeing your point. It makes a lot of sense. The borat swimsuit just contextualizes the situation better.

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Ben77mc@reddit

I would actually say that boxers are much thinner and more revealing than swimming shorts. They fit tightly and you can definitely see more of a bulge compared to swimming shorts due to the material used. I don't think OP has any real problems here though, but I'd personally much rather sit in the sun in swimming wear because the material is much more comfortable if you're sweating! It's designed to wick away water/sweat, whereas boxers will just get wet and stay wet.

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PopHead_1814@reddit (OP)

Fair advice. I’ll swap to that but I have a feeling it won’t resolve the ‘issue’ from my neighbours perspective.

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aoul1@reddit

Don’t switch, if your neighbour brings it up again say you switched to your swimming trunks. If your neighbour insists you haven’t then ask her how she’s so certain and why she’s been staring at you for so long out of her window as to be able to scrutinise the minute details of swimming trunks vs boxers from a distance, as that feels like very inappropriate behaviour….. there’s literally no response she can give to that that doesn’t involve her making herself sound like a full peeping Tom.

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PopHead_1814@reddit (OP)

Tbf they didn’t mention underwear specifically I think the phrase they used was “put clothes on when outdoors and no lie around half naked”

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aoul1@reddit

That is quite frankly, fucking stupid.

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HotCompetition999@reddit

I think it probably will resolve the issue. I'd also find it super weird if someone was sun bathing in their underwear in front of kids.

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furrycroissant@reddit

But they're not, they're sunbathing in their own private garden. OP isn't stripping off in front of a child.

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HotCompetition999@reddit

I think I may have misunderstood the use of the term "garden." Where I'm from, most gardens are in front of the house, by the driveway. I think we're now talking bout what I'd refer to as a backyard, in which case I agree.

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Ben77mc@reddit

Back yards in the UK are generally reserved for rows of old terraces, where there is a tiny, fully-paved little bit of space at the back of your house. Gardens are usually a full garden with some grass, a patio area, maybe sheds, etc. That's how I've always heard the two terms used anyway.

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focalac@reddit

Yep, front and back gardens in the UK.

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evaca1112@reddit

Tell them to buy a parasol and ~~shove it up their~~ put it in the line of sight of their daughter's bedroom.

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No-Cryptographer-192@reddit

Nonsense... I WFH most of the time and regularly put the bins out in my underoos... Why is that contextually any different to someone seeing several more % of my skin and my trapped budgie because I'm in a swimming pool? Is it based on weather? If it's hot it's ok.. Based on sartorial choice that denotes intent - "Oh well clearly he is going swimming" Or is it just based on prudishness and tradition of the UK? I love a lot about my country.. but as the years go by I hate so much more.. Just because of the arbitrary judgmental side of things

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Shaper_pmp@reddit

Get skimpier swinwear, and wear that. A nice banana-hammock should do it. Maybe a mankini.

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FatBloke4@reddit

We seem to be going backwards. In my youth (70s, 80s), people just didn't complain about what a neighbour wore in their garden. It was fairly common for people to be topless in my back gardens, including the women. Nobody ever complained. The fuss about women wearing bikinis took place in the 1950s (before I was born).

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ModoTheGardener@reddit

See that post where the woman asked if it was okay to sunbathe topless if she was discreet and minding her own business. That was a minefield.

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carlbandit@reddit

You're not allowed to go nude with the intention of causing distress, OP could sunbathe nude in their garden and no law would be broken, but they can't stand in their window, windmilling knowing that people will be walking past and may be upset by the sight. Only one breaking the law is the daughter for spying on OP.

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Independent-Sir4817@reddit

I know this is an old post, I'm 54 Male. I've got some pervy neighbors that like to watch my kitchen window, they even film it (oh dear I'm ground floor he's 1st floor flat 1 bed, him "I know lets invite kids over to watch and report him. What a muppet!), I'm ground floor opposite build by the way. Some times I wake up sweaty and pull up my bedding and strip off in my kitchen and load the washer then take a shower. I'm also gay and they know it, I get enough PUFF Faggot remarks from both opposite ground floor and 1st, they both have each others numbers how cute! A male thong all the way, for tan lines. So long as your genitalia is covered go for it. Everyone has seen a nude bum we all have one, I still strip naked in my kitchen they keep watching lol

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Diligent-Zebra-1630@reddit

I either use a brief or go naked. For sunbathing I prefer being naked. I try to be naked only in the more secluded areas but will do gardening and mowing just in a brief and shoes. Boxers offer too much coverage. I do have a tan through brief which I wear sometimes.

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Diligent-Zebra-1630@reddit

In England and Wales being naked is not in itself illegal. You would swim in a swim brief or swim thong on the beach. Boxer briefs are much larger coverage.

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Perfect-Phrase391@reddit

I’m mostly in my garden in my white briefs and t shirt. All my neighbours have seen me in my garden in my pants. They don’t care. They also chat to me in my garden whilst I’m in my pants. They not bothered at all by me being in my pants. I’m not doing anything sexual. Just being comfortable. Underwear is no different to swimwear. Just people being prudish. Nothing is on display. The goods are covered. So I don’t see the problem. People read to much into this. There are more things to worry about than someone in there garden in there underwear.

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Humboldt_@reddit

Just wear swimming trunks instead

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

No, don't. That is giving in to unreasonable bullshit, so long as its nothing considered an issue under the law they can sod off. It seems barely even an issue at all other than neighbours being a \*insert your own rude word\*

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Humboldt_@reddit

I feel like while it's not illegal, there are other repercussions to think about. I feel like taking a second to pop some trunks on isn't a big ask in order to maintain a decent relationship with your neighbours who you may be living with for a long time.

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

They are unreasonable so you should accommodate them being unreasonable? Why can't they be the ones that are reasonable when nothing actually wrong is being done.

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Humboldt_@reddit

I think sometimes you just have to accept that some people are unreasonable and are never going to start being reasonable. In the long term, just putting shorts on and avoiding conflict with your neighbours is more important.

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

I am not the one being discussed, also wear shorts near enough year round lol. Doesn't mean I should give in to someone because they don't like they have rainbows on does it?

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Humboldt_@reddit

It depends on how important it is to you to keep wearing them, and the consequences of refusing to stop wearing them. In my view, quickly popping on a pair of shorts is worth maintaining a happy relationship with the people you live next to. Obviously, if they started demanding things I'm unwilling to compromise on, I would have a different view.

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Throwaway91847817@reddit

Tell them to stop staring into your garden and mind their own business.

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kipha01@reddit

Their daughter, their problem.

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Different_Spread_256@reddit

Gonna need to see pics of you in your boxers to make an informed decision. Ty ty

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OkSpirit7891@reddit

This is creepy and inappropriate.

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Different_Spread_256@reddit

Thank you.

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OkSpirit7891@reddit

The double standard here is crazy. If op was a woman it would be totally out of order to ask for a pic of her in her underwear. But it's cool and funny because he's a guy? Ok.

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Different_Spread_256@reddit

Well I'm not interested in women, so I wouldn't ask a women for pics. Hope that helps.

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ZookeepergameHead145@reddit

I think we should have a Reddit outing to ~~perve~~ check on OP.

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JMM85JMM@reddit

I third this.

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PhoneRankMacVottle@reddit

I second this! Group DM OP, thank you!

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No-Cryptographer-192@reddit

And I thought I was the only "curious" one... High 5's all round I think

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shannoouns@reddit

The pants are fine. She shouldn't be looking anyway.

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Next-Tip9382@reddit

It depends. Maybe she's looking out of curiosity and the parents are making a bigger deal out of it than they should. But I'd be wary of a teenager getting a crush or infatuated with me. Because teenagers are nuts. If I thought one was staring at me regularly in my underpants in the garden I'd be wearing clothes. I think you realise that too. The sun gives you cancer and ages your skin anyway. Plus have you ever seen someone with a fit body but pale white skin and thought that was unattractive? Get some spray tan if the Essex look matters.

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No-Pension-1911@reddit

Bruh, no way. Carry on doing what you’re doing

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ash894@reddit

I go topless in my garden and even though it’s overlooked I’ve stopped caring. The other day my husband and I were out there on the sofa both in just shorts. We were laughing about how it’s basically the same thing but it’s more socially acceptable for him to do it. Even though [as he lovingly pointed out] his ‘tits are bigger’ than mine 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Westsidepipeway@reddit

I walk around naked in my house all the time. I have no intention of showing my naked self to the general public but potentially people could see me through windows if they're looking through my windows. I've even gone out to my garden wearing a t-shirt with no pants on. Why would people be looking into my garden for no reason whilst I talk to my cat. Legally, I have done nothing wrong. Noone has ever complained about me doing it, because I don't have weirdos staring into my garden. Woman btw.

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HowHardCanItBeReally@reddit

Nothing to do with them. Keep on at it buddy

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Fit_General7058@reddit

Just put a pair of trunks on for goodness sake. Who tf lies around in their back garden in their underwear?. Rarely even kids do it. Dress appropriately for what you are doing. It's underwear, not outer wear. You sound like your parents never taught you basic "things. Put a pair of trunks on if you are sunbathing.

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Consult-SR88@reddit

Next time wear some budgie smugglers & put a paddling pool in your garden.

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Bzaren@reddit

My man, if you're doing it to avoid tan lines, no ody is going to accuse you of being straight. Jokes aside, your garden your rules, if she wants to dictate what you do on your property, she better offer a good amount of money to buy your land.

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Westsidepipeway@reddit

Your neighbour is absolutely ridiculous. I think this is a parents using daughter as excuse for own prudishness issue. There is nothing creepy about doing this at all.

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ExoticExchange@reddit

Yeah I am 1000% sure the teenage daughter is not looking at all. But maybe his wife is.

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BambiiDextrous@reddit

As a compromise you could get a pair of loose & short running shorts. I see men running around n shorts with a 3 inch inseam nowadays which frankly I do think is a bit indecent but if it's acceptable for them to wear running around public parks then you should be fine to don the same for your garden. Not saying you should have to mind. Just a thought if you feel like playing nice.

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UpstairsAfraid7780@reddit

I’d say for the purpose of ease of life, buy some swim trunks, but the skimpiest pair you can find

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RelativeMatter3@reddit

Your body, your choice. Your neighbour should teach their daughter not to objectify men.

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Traditional-Dot4776@reddit

Maybe they have an issue with you being a gay person doing this as opposed to a straight person.

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Fragrant-Attorney-73@reddit

Yeah. Your property.. go naked if wanted (I believe the law says sexual acts on your own property with knowledge your visible is bad, but nudity alone is fine). The daughter can learn to mind her own business, or the neighbour can board her window up.. their choice.

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honkytonker123@reddit

Username checks out

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vishybear@reddit

Maybe someone can correct me if I'm wrong but you have a reasonable expectation of privacy in your own home and garden. I live in a ground floor flat so legally I understand I should be able to walk around naked with the blinds open and there is nothing anyone can legally do to stop me. Being naked isn't actually illegal either from what I understand. Report his kids to the police as peeping Tom's

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aoul1@reddit

That is a ridiculous overreaction to a teenage girl looking at a semi undressed man who knows his garden is overlooked and is not doing anything he wouldn’t do on a public beach really. And we can play the whole ‘what if the genders were reversed’ game - if a teenage boy was being a bit pervy on a female neighbour sunbathing then I think we can all acknowledge that this is incredibly normal behaviour for a teen exploring their sexuality and the parents need to teach their child that being curious is natural but invading someone’s privacy is not and remind her to think about how she would feel if it was the other way. The police absolutely do not have time to be dealing with a horny teenager letting her eyes linger out her window, and what would be your end hope here? That this minor gets a criminal record? She’s absolutely in the wrong but come on have some common sense.

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PopHead_1814@reddit (OP)

Thanks, I know I’m not doing anything illegal but I was more concerns about whether this was socially unacceptable or comes across as creepy.

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Raryl@reddit

I would say, if you turned it around and asked the neighbour; what would they think if you asked them to tell their daughter to change out of her bikini (etc) when she's in her own garden, because it was making you uncomfortable? What would they think of you? Because that's exactly what the majority will think of her for asking. The kid shouldn't perve but she's young and if you're in sight of public you probably will get seen, not an issue in my eyes. I myself probably would have a gander if I saw my neighbours in less than a T shirt and shorts. But I sure as hell wouldn't make it a big deal of any sort. Especially if I or my family were staring out the window at them.

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hockri_J@reddit

You are fine, ours used to sunbath in the nude with foil to reflect the sun up to his gooch.

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CoffeeAndCamera@reddit

Not a doctor but I think that’s how you get gooch cancer.

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RunawayPenguin89@reddit

Oh cool, a new fear just unlocked!

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The_Queef_of_England@reddit

So you use foil to tan your gooch? Interesting. Isn't it already darker than normal skin?

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RunawayPenguin89@reddit

Not if you wipe front to back

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The_Queef_of_England@reddit

You wipe?

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RunawayPenguin89@reddit

Sometimes

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j1mb0b@reddit

That's the new Gucci collection fucked!

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MrPhuccEverybody@reddit

Whats the waiting list like for a new gooch? Probably shitty. Always at the bottom.

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MobiusNaked@reddit

The sun shines *into* his arse

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TheStatMan2@reddit

>with foil to reflect the sun up to his gooch. Is it possible at all that he thought he'd found a way to achieve Cold Fusion?

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Embarrassed_Belt9379@reddit

Take my upvote, and also my downvote

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permaculture@reddit

> Don't tell us what to wear; teach the girls not to stare.

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Peppemarduk@reddit

I think you should be able to go willy out in your garden, but in this case, as it is a reasonable request to protect a minor, I would just put a pair of shorts on. They haven't asked for you to wear a top as well, just shorts that you can pull up your legs anyway.

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matbonucci@reddit

Oh sweet summer child, worrying about doing socially acceptable stuff at my house? Not in my house

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HotCompetition999@reddit

Why not swim shorts or shorts instead of boxers? You know a minor might see you, why not just wear what's socially acceptable.

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Fezzverbal@reddit

The netting on a sun warmed ball sack isn't great unless there's water involved. Why should he have to be uncomfortable in his own space for the sake of a peeper?

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GamerHumphrey@reddit

For what is effectively the same item of clothing too.

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Fezzverbal@reddit

Yes! A less comfortable same looking thing!

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ManyBeautiful9124@reddit

How close knit is the community? People rarely stick to the facts when gossiping about something they disagree with

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berty313@reddit

Not creepy at all, gay or not, the girls probably at a curious age and just wants to have a look at the goods without having to get involved with a guy her age. Buy as others have said, you are doing nothing wrong at all, keep it up.

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Similar_Quiet@reddit

Oh Christ, no don't even get it up in the first place.

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Sleep_adict@reddit

Err, technically the daughter is a peeping Tom. Next time remind him that there are laws against spying on people

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Dedward5@reddit

Just say it should be be a problem, if the tables were turned and she walked around the garden in underwear you wouldn’t complain. I’m sure that would diffuse the situation nicely.

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PsychologicalSplit43@reddit

I think that it is illegal to be naked outside even on your own property. I’m not sure why I think that, though!

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PJP2810@reddit

Being naked in the UK is not inherently illegal (regardless of whether it's your property or not) The **intent** to cause alarm it distress by someone seeing you expose your genitals is what is illegal.

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PsychologicalSplit43@reddit

Thanks for the clarification!

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ExquisiteURL@reddit

Sounds like some weird perverted fantasy on your part “their teenage daughter has been checking me out” … cringe

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PopHead_1814@reddit (OP)

That’s literally what they said to me…

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Its_not_a@reddit

Sounds like a teaching moment for them to let their daughter know it’s not okay to stare at others and it’s not okay for them to stare at her.

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rellz14@reddit

Lol fuck them

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Fellattio_Nelson@reddit

Your castle, your rules.

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EVILFLUFFMONSTER@reddit

I do it all the time. I don't care if anyone looks, but they are more likely to be traumatised than interested! There's much worse things for a teen to be looking at than a guy sunbathing.

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Ste333@reddit

Do whatever you want in your own garden my man. If the neighbour has a problem, then that’s HER problem. not like you’re being anti social, your literally laying there minding your own business. Not nude either. Carry on.

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Ben77mc@reddit

Why not just wear some running shorts or small swim shorts? Much more comfortable than boxers anyway, they wick any sweat away rather than making you sit in a soaking puddle for hours on end!

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AF_II@reddit

These people are imagining things. If they think their teen daughter isn't looking at significantly spicier things (no shade intended on you here) then they're living in a dream world. It's your garden. I'd be very tempted to invest in a borat thong tbh.

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TangyZizz@reddit

Tiny speedos. Better for OPs preference of avoiding tan lines but also malicious compliance with the neighbour’s request (switching underwear for swimwear, but the swimwear is smaller than the underwear). If [Tom Daley](https://media.gettyimages.com/id/82117219/photo/tom-daley-of-the-great-britain-diving-team-trains-at-the-national-aquatic-centre-looks-on.jpg?s=612x612&w=gi&k=20&c=ZWTaF7UXVUK3DFQ3Z83M6W7h5bt8SQcpYwm7cik6NTI=) can wear them on international telly, then OP can deffo wear them in his own backyard.

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BungleJones@reddit

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

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MrGiggles19872@reddit

Very nice

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MasterofDisaster_BG@reddit

Borat thong... This is the way!

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UnhelpfulMoth@reddit

Banana sling

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FuckedupUnicorn@reddit

Weird tan line though.

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

who is gonna see it tho?

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carlbandit@reddit

The daughter.

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

If they are wearing the borat thong, its impossible to see the tan line, thats how clothes work.

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carlbandit@reddit

That requires OP to be wearing the borat thong or more each time they go out though, until the tan lines even back out. What if OP decides the day after they just want to wear their boxers or swim truncks?

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MagicMatthews99@reddit

Wear the borat thong on top of them. Or underneath them.

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

Then they fill in the tan lines, who loses.

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Outcasted_introvert@reddit

Nice!!!

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wolfhelp@reddit

The mankini !

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__reddictator@reddit

sun on your private parts is so good for you so im on team naked tanning :) take care friend

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BSturdy987@reddit

Yeah it’s ur garden do whatever

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leepeeleepee@reddit

Boxers tend to show the outline of men’s junk so maybe some going out shorts will cover up 🤷‍♀️

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PopHead_1814@reddit (OP)

They do, but I want my tanlines as high as possible, like the alternative would be a speedo which outlines my ‘junk’ more than my boxer briefs do

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leepeeleepee@reddit

No need to justify yourself tbh it’s your property. Just sharing because I wear my running shorts to tan in as they’re abit looser & just pull them up to my hip like a thong, but stays loose where I like it to be loose.

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DaveEFI@reddit

Quite. The difference between boxer shorts as underwear and shorts is impossible to define - and speedos are likely to be more revealing.

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d34ddd_1349@reddit

So it's your fault their daughter can't keep their gaze to themselves? The parent is talking to the wrong person here.

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freaking_scared@reddit

I am doing just this right now (tanning in my bikini in my own garden). I would say to these people to stop being creeps.

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CilantroShamrock@reddit

Reddit has weird opinions about this sort of thing. Yes it might be legal. But you have to live there, next to your neighbours, for the foreseeable future. It’s better to take a middle ground approach and mitigate future conflicts rather than take an extreme position. Just wear some swimming shorts or something.

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palishkoto@reddit

I don't think it's an extreme position though, it's just pushing back against a neighbour blaming him for the neighbour's daughter looking at him. She can turn on the TV or go to a pool and see men dressed in less (ie speedos), so it's not like he's exposing anything in his garden. If he were a woman in a bikini and the neighbour complained his son was peeping, then we'd all say it was the son's fault.

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Incubus85@reddit

Put on some speedos and chuck a cucumber down there.

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psvrgamer1@reddit

Guess you could wear buggie smugglers next time you sunbath. Your property id wear what I liked.

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xXpartysosij69420Xx@reddit

Cheeky bastards!!! Tell them their daughters a fuckin pervert and to mind their own, its fuckin roasting, get naked for extra passive-agression points

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steeple_jack@reddit

If you wanna get technical, people dress like that in public (swimming pools?) So I don’t see any issue with you doing it in your own property

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The_Queef_of_England@reddit

It's your house. I bet his daughter isn't even checking you kut. It's just the dad being over protective. It's up to them not to look in your garden.

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RyH1986@reddit

If it was you staring at someone that's creepy, If they're staring at you that's them being a creep. Youre on your own property and not naked. Do you. They need to have a word with their daughter

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NullandVoidUsername@reddit

Your neighbour is taking the piss. Tell her and her daughter to mind their own business and stop watching you.

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Alarming-Leading4954@reddit

Yes, you could be completely naked if you wanted, it's your garden. I used to spend summer holidays in cannes with my dad while he worked the film festival every year and some Brits would be shocked how common it is to see women topless and men in thongs on the beach.

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Mrszombiecookies@reddit

I mean boxers and swim trunks......same thing really. You do you boo

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DanteIshimura@reddit

If your garden is fenced off with no visible exposure that the public can see you through at ground level, then its fine to be in your own garden in your undercrackers. If someone is looking out of a higher level window and down into your direction then they're choosing to make the effort to look upon you. It's like someone high up looking out of a window, then a person on ground level turning there head and looking up at them and asking what they're looking at. Enjoy the sun lad, just don't burn ya jaffas. Tell the neighbours that you don't appreciate their daughter looking at you whilst you're in your garden, then apply the 'V's if needed.

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PopHead_1814@reddit (OP)

Yea it’s a fully fenced back garden.

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DanteIshimura@reddit

Then you have no worries mate. Enjoy the sun and if it starts to get too much tell them to do one.

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gouplesblog@reddit

Fuck your neighbours. Not literally of course, but certainly figuratively. If they don't want her perving, that's up to them to control. You're wearing as much fabric as you would in a public swimming pool - so there's no issue. You're in your own garden - so you're not doing anything wrong.

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dinobug77@reddit

Being the sort of person I am – I’d apologise and say I’ll wear my swimwear in future… and then go out and buy the smallest pair of speedos I could!

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brass427427@reddit

Wear biker shorts for a couple of days and put a stuffed sock down one leg. Mom will be looking too.

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Fucklebrother@reddit

Perfectly acceptable

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smellyfeet25@reddit

probably best not too although its not much different to a bathing costume, women could get away with it more , like they get away with most things more then men do , i would not do this

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Violet351@reddit

You should get some Speedo’s as they are swimwear and then when he complains says you did exactly as asked. People wear less than you are wearing on public beaches. Even if you wear swim shorts she will still watch you. Maybe he should tell her it’s rude to stare at people

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bandicootrelay@reddit

Technically the neighbour is asking you to not sunbathe in your underwear, boxers off balls out, neighbours can’t complain your fulfilling their request

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TheRiddler1976@reddit

Literally no difference between boxers and swimshorts in terms of what they cover NtA

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Nadgerino@reddit

You can go naked in the "privacy" of your own garden but i dont think youd get away with manspreading on the front lawn with a picket fence.

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Use_Rear_Entrance@reddit

Time to get out the cutest little jockstrap and do a lot of bending over.

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fussyfella@reddit

Your property, and you can sunbath in as little as you want - including naked if you want. "Socially acceptable" is not really meaningful as the attitudes to this vary from the ultra prudes, to naturists. I am a fellow traveller of the naturist way of thinking that there is nothing unnatural about the human body and hiding it makes it more sexualised and fetishised not the opposite.

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JonLeePButler@reddit

Could reply with, "that's not what the wife thought, as she flashed her boobs out the window at me"?

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Ok_Peak1112@reddit

Your garden, your property! As long as you are not doing anything illegal then you're all good...

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SamDublin@reddit

I think boxers are fine, what's the difference with them and swimwear, he should tell his daughter not to be looking out the window at you which is probably normal enough on her part developmentally wise,but I take your side in this matter.

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user103983@reddit

They’re probably just uncomfortable with their kid checking u out bc shes their kid & making it ur problem so they dont have to think about it lol. Theyre overstepping but i dont think theyre being totally unreasonable/rude yet. legally it certainly isn’t an issue. It makes no logical difference bc the same skins covered anyway lol, but underwear isnt seen as ‘socially acceptable’ by everyone rlly. Tbf you’d probably get a better tan in speedos anyway, more ‘socially acceptable’ than underwear anyway so seems like a win win to just get some. Or short gym shorts If u continue & they escalated it to gossip w other neighbours it could get twisted & give u a reputation. Ppl may see it as a weird/suspicious hill to die on. I dont think its a big enough issue to be worth risking this, protect urself

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windowlickers_anon@reddit

I would get really petty and start wearing ‘appropriate’ swimming attire. Start of with normal swim trunks, then graduate to speedos. Next up, speedos with flippers, snorkel and goggles, just so it’s blatantly clear you’re yanking their chain… you could even throw in a wetsuit at this point. Or go full mankini just to fuck with them (maybe choose a day when you know the teenage girl isn’t around that particular show 😂). But seriously, this is very much a them problem. Also, sorry to say, but it sounds a bit homophonic to me - do they know you’re gay? There’s still a delightful breed of baby boomer who equate ‘homosexual’ with ‘sexually inappropriate/predatory’. I can’t fathom why else anyone would take issue to a man wearing boxers to sunbathe in his own garden.

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Aggravating-Doubt-65@reddit

Do what you want, personally I would still have shorts on, boxers don't leave much to the imagination.

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Vickyinredditland@reddit

I have teenage daughters and if I caught them doing this I would first relentlessly tease them for being pervs, but then tell them it's not actually cool to stare at people like that. At no point would it occur to me to berate my neighbour for the crime of being hot 😅

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spaceshipcommander@reddit

Sunbathe with your balls out if you want and tell him to fuck off. Boxers are basically shorts anyway. I'm sure the shorts his teenage daughter wears are much more revealing than your pants. I bet that his daughter has commented to his wife, "have you seen mr X the other day?", and they have both had a little giggle and then the dad is so insecure that he can't handle the fact that his daughter likes boys now. Or, she's not said anything and he's even more insecure thinking she might look. Or, and this is my favourite theory, the dad is secretly gay and is struggling to hide his erection around his wife when you're in the garden.

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Ok-Contact-1408@reddit

When they go to the beach or any other place will not be a problem to see so many naked people?

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Ok-Contact-1408@reddit

Yes, is your garden and plus you are free to wear whatever you want.

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millimolli14@reddit

I always sunbathe in underwear in my garden, as a woman I often go topless too, it’s their problem

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useittilitbreaks@reddit

Tell them to sod off. No, seriously. Tell them to mind their own business. You're in your own garden on your own property which means you have an expectation of privacy.

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whatchagonnado0707@reddit

Maybe not sod off but thank them for the information and tell them you'll do the right thing and report their daughter to the police for spying on you/voyeurism. Ask them for a statement too. No idea if she's doing anything illegal but it puts the shits up them and the problem back on them too (where it should be)

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StationFar6396@reddit

No, only naked sunbathing is permitted. Go all the way or go home. Which you already are. So. Yeah.

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NewPower_Soul@reddit

Maybe just get some shorts and wear them instead of boxies, just to be polite? But if their daughter wants to peep at your hot body then that’s their problem.

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ianbattlesrobots@reddit

It's your home. I say wear whatever the hell you want. If anything, it's your neighbour who is at fault here. They seem to be trying to make you feel uncomfortable on your own property. Bollock to 'em.

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s1ttingbear420@reddit

Yeah totally is. British people are such prudes at times.

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SoggyWotsits@reddit

Try it in normal shorts of exactly the same length and see what she says. At least you’ll see if she’s got a bee in her bonnet about you wearing underwear or being half undressed. If she still complains, point out that I hope she never intends on letting her daughter go to a beach. Also, to stop her daughter invading your privacy!

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FilamentBurns@reddit

Unless it's Covent Garden.

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whoops53@reddit

Well the teenage girl doesn't *have* to look at you does she? I'm sure she could gaze at other things, like trees and birds or the clouds in the sky. Just as you don't *have* to cover up in your own garden in case she happens to glance your way. Tell the neighbours to get that window film to put on the glass if they don't want their daughter looking at people. Its on them to make the change, not you.

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antdb1@reddit

in the uk you can sunbath naked aslong as its not in a sexual nature

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PadHicks@reddit

Take their advice to heart, OP, you should definitely be wearing swimwear if you're sunbathing and others can see you. I recommend a Speedo, one size too small.

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discustedkiller@reddit

It's fine it's in your property

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BaBaFiCo@reddit

It's acceptable, but in the interest of friendly neighbourly relations I'd throw something different on.

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superpitu@reddit

You already know what’s the right thing to do. Swimwear is acceptable.

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TheGreatBatsby@reddit

I'd be tempted to sunbathe in one of those one-sided male thong things. Fuck it, go the whole hog and sunbathe with your whole hog out. Just make sure you flip it up and down at various intervals, you don't want half a tan.

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CheesyPestoPasta@reddit

You've done nothing wrong. Once when I took my kids out into the garden our neighbour (60s male) was gardening in just a pair of shorts. Our fence is about 4 foot high so from my angle I could see he was wearing shorts, but anyone smaller than 4 foot could only see his bare chest and shoulders. My daughter who was about 5 at the time said, at the top of her voice "WHY IS (neighbours name) NAKED???" I caught his eye as he flinched, and told my daughter "he isn't naked. He's wearing shorts. Its hot and he is in his garden, he can wear what he wants." You could see him relax 🤣 Her next comment was "Can I be naked?" I compromised and let her play in the paddling pool in her pants. I have a great relationship with that neighbour now.

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OldLondon@reddit

So they want you to sunbathe with clothes on…? Errrm

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Qyro@reddit

Fuck the boxers, go full nude. It’s your garden, your property, it’s their problem if their daughter keeps peeping into your privacy.

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Fezzverbal@reddit

I'd suggest they plant something in their garden that obstructs her view. It's got nothing to do with you. Or you could erect a sign that says avert your eyes ya perve or something to that effect.

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Ijustneedadvice-@reddit

Depends on how creepy your neighbours are.

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Verlorenfrog@reddit

I think so long as you are not nude, or wearing a thong, people should be allowed to enjoy the sun in underwear, not if it's see through though obv! 😄 Some neighbours are just too fussy and plain busybodies.

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BeccasBump@reddit

They should be talking to their daughter about creeping on someone who is minding his own business on his own property. You are doing absolutely nothing wrong. (Well, except that sunbathing is stupid, but it's your funeral).

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Apprehensive_Rate276@reddit

I do. But my garden isn’t overlooked by anyone

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Camp_Munch@reddit

Yell them there daughter is looking at seriously worse things on her phone than a guy in his boxers!

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centzon400@reddit

Have you considered moonbathing? It gives one a lucent glow that is hard to describe; might give you a certain platinous hue that the sun will never give you. (srsly, so long as you are not being a prick, you'll be fine)

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Will_nap_all_day@reddit

If this was the other way round there would rightly be outrage for not teaching the peeping Tom manners, not your problem

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thecraftybee1981@reddit

Your neighbour is being ridiculous, but putting on speedos, shorts or trunks should be nothing more than a minor annoyance for you which should result in a more congenial relationship with a neighbour. If he continues to have problems with you in shorts/speedos etc, tell him to fuck off and listen to himself: “don’t wear beachwear on your own property”.

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ChipRockets@reddit

There's been a weird influx of people on Reddit misspelling 'sunbathe' recently

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JiKooNumber1CBAfan@reddit

Ahh UK and their neighbors disputes, never gets old what people will argue over 😅

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Wodinaz_@reddit

Well clearly they want you to cover up some more. You should try and oblige them somewhat by wearing some swim trunks and pasties, preferably with tassels.

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No-Cryptographer-192@reddit

Tell them to get fucked... Their teenage daughter likely has far more pressing concerns online than peeping out of the window at you in your boxers. Basically, the dad has an issue with it, and it is nothing to do with protecting anyone else. Their bigotry is showing hard... Let them fly free. It's your property, your place, your castle. We have literally had wars for our rights to exist as we wish (legally) on our own land.

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subfunktion@reddit

Your garden, your party! Probably best not to get it all out… unless convenient?

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Krismusic1@reddit

If you were naked I could maybe see a problem but boxers??? NTA.

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Gang-of-Lions@reddit

aita lol

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Bufger@reddit

YTA

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katie-kaboom@reddit

Make them happy with your appropriate clothing for sunbathing. Go buy a Speedo.

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Asklepios89@reddit

Yeah his “daughters” are checking you out. Surejan.gif. I bet it’s your neighbor who is the real perv here, probably feeling guilty about being a voyeur and having a massive overreaction.

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Andyboro80@reddit

Speedos is the answer, go full budgie smuggler

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Leeno234@reddit

I agree budgie smuggler time.

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Jazzlike_Rabbit_3433@reddit

Like you say, they’re not much different to other shorts, so wear other shorts. Once you are aware that the situation is as it is then you do the right thing, which, as you say, is no hardship. Otherwise you’re going to be perceived a creep by anyone unless they’re reading this and see you as a non creep unable to apply adult reasoning to social etiquette.

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Sasu-Jo@reddit

Some underwear cover more than some swimsuits

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PopHead_1814@reddit (OP)

Yea and tbh most of my swimwear fits this. I got the impression she was more opposed to me lying out there not fully clothed rather than taking exception to it being underwear, I think if I was in swimwear she’d have had the same conversation with me.

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Leeno234@reddit

Time to crack out the budgie smugglers mate

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

So you know they are being an unreasonable arse, I get seeking a wider opinion but you are in the right. Tell the one complaining to stop staring at you in the garden.

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Quailpower@reddit

I put my pool In the garden and skinny dip If someone's looking into my garden thats on them. I'm allowed to enjoy my space

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Zerocoolx1@reddit

Totally fine. It’s no different that being in swimwear. You can go naked if you like (assuming you won’t be in full view of children)

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MissDisplaced@reddit

Why don’t you wear a skimpy bathing suit? I know there’s not much difference, but the bathing suit is socially acceptable outdoors.

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ModoTheGardener@reddit

How are you a creep in this situation? They should be speaking to her about appropriate behaviour and boundaries. Imagine if the genders were reversed. Do as you please on your own property, as long as you're not having a wank knowing she can see you, you're just going about your life and they should choose not to look and tell their daughter not to look. I suppose you could be a real arse to the daughter, though, just to ease their minds. Like glare at her if you see her and so on, try to put her off. My house and my neighbours' houses all have frosted glass on our bathroom windows, I guess there was a deal on because despite all having fairly different houses, we all have the same frosted glass on windows directly above the bathtub and it is extremely see through. You can literally see people showering if you care to go and look and not just a vague outline, if they're close enough you can see them very clearly. If I'm in the garden and realise a neighbour is in the shower, I make sure not to look. I really hope they do the same with me because me and my husband have had a shag in ours before we realised it was see through. We live very on top of each other in the UK and there's just a general etiquette to these things.

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Logical_Magician_468@reddit

I've had similar concerns tbh I'm female and the next doors are Muslim, the wife wears a hijab. And they have a son. I had concerns on if me wearing short shorts and tiny crop tops in my garden was wrong given next doors religion, and if it made the husband feel weird or if me being outside meant he can't enjoy the garden as to see my skin would be wrong or forbidden but I figured it's my garden, and I'm entitled to enjoy my garden how I like and wear what I want. In a few weeks I'll be getting the pool up and be in a bikini to cool down when it's really hot so it just is what it is.

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StunnedinTheSuburbs@reddit

Not all boxer briefs are the same: If you are wearing see through gaping at the front boxers than (while totally legally fine on your own property), neighbours might have a point. If you are wearing boxers that are essentially shorts, I don’t see the problem. But this might not be the hill to die on and neighbourly relations can make a huge difference to your well-being so personally I would just throw on a pair of comfortable but ‘real’ shorts.

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RaspberryNo101@reddit

Don't you tell us what to wear, tell your daughters not to stare. You're not naked, the problem is his not yours.

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Shaper_pmp@reddit

> asked me to put clothes on when I’m outside as you can see into my garden from their teenage daughters bedroom and they’ve noticed her checking me out over the past week or so and aren’t happy about it. Maybe they should teach their daughter not to be a fucking perv. Seriously - switch the genders and it's a horny teenage boy ogling a woman in a bikini sunbathing in her own back garden, and everyone would blame the teenager for being creepy and hormonal. Tell them politely but firmly that if they haven't taught their daughter not to perve on people quietly enjoying their own property then that's their problem not yours, and they might want to do something about it.

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Robatoda@reddit

My wife hates when our neighbour does this, but personally I'm on the fence.

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OutsideWishbone7@reddit

😂😂😂

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SouthWestWicked@reddit

It's fine, tell them to stop perving on you

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PopHead_1814@reddit (OP)

Well I kinda feel like they’ve tried to make it my problem rather than telling their daughter to stop perving on neighbours.

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breakbeatx@reddit

If they bring it up again tell them that their incessant piercing makes you uncomfortable. FWIW I will sometimes sit out in my bra when it’s hot, why would I go dig out a bikini top when they cover the same amount of flesh?

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Westsidepipeway@reddit

It blatantly isn't the daughter. It's the parents being prudes. There is absolutely nothing creepy about sunbathing in your own garden in your pants.

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tomtink1@reddit

How would you even know they were pants and not swim shorts from the distance to a neighbour's garden? Pervy pudes, the lot of them.

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writerfan2013@reddit

That would be a them problem.

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Familiar_Pangolin@reddit

You are definitely NTA. Let the teenager sneak a peek, we all did while growing up, and I'm sure we all still do, just more discreetly. Her parents are the creepy ones!

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LeanOnGreen@reddit

Next time he says something, hand him a business card with your onlyfans link on it and say "It's OK to be in the closet still" with a little wink, then walk away.

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yonthickie@reddit

Budgie smugglers!

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WrldSIlkrd@reddit

I agree with everyone else. Your property, your rules. Have at it and make sure to wear sunscreen!

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Yaboijustlikesgoats@reddit

It's not all that different from just wearing a pair of shorts or swimming trunks. Thier daughter is the one watching other people without thier knowledge. I'm sure it's not that sinister but she needs to know that it's crossing a boundary. I don't know them so it's hard to make any judgments. But from the context, i wouldn't be all that surprised if they're putting that on her as opposed to her actually checking you out. That's something the parents should address with the kid instead of blaming you for it.

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slinkyrichie@reddit

Yea sure. It's your space.

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CoffeeIgnoramus@reddit

Thank them for informing you of someone breaking the law and peeping while you do not consent. Just googled it as I knew there was something against this behaviour: "Under Section 67 Sexual Offences Act 2003, a person commits an offence if for the purpose of obtaining sexual gratification, he or she observes another person doing a private act, and he or she knows that the other person does not consent or will not consent to being observed for his or her sexual gratification."

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PopHead_1814@reddit (OP)

I’m pretty sure that probably doesn’t apply to children/underage people. I’m not really out to be a dick about it I just wanted some opinions/advice on whether they were being weird/uptight or if I was doing something unacceptable to most people.

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CoffeeIgnoramus@reddit

Not unacceptable at all. If you were naked doing windmills when you saw her looking, then we'd have to re-evaluate your decisions. However, in your underwear in your garden is not at all weird. Her parents had raunchier things in fashion magazines back in the 1950s.

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fxshnchxps@reddit

I recently had to Google this after a neighbour behind us came and complained about me walking around in shorts and a sports bra (I’m 31 weeks pregnant and it’s f*cking hot) BUT as long as you’re not dancing around naked in front of a window by the roadside, you’re fine. You could be a nudist and they’d have no leg to stand on as long as you weren’t doing it to harass them. Also what’s the difference between boxers and swimming shorts?

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

Proximity to water seems to be the thing for no good reason. Beach, yeh sure go topless lads and bikinis girls with no issues. Walking to work in the baking sun? You better be wearing a top/inappropriate clothing for the weather incase some ignorant \*insert word of choice\* has a fuss about it. It makes no sense whatsoever, I have had this issue for years as a concept and never got a complaint. Why is water relevant to the clothing situation?

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conbizzle@reddit

Is this really the kind of world we're living in on 2023 where this is a topic of discussion

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spudfish83@reddit

Can you put a sun shade up somewhere between you and her bedroom in a way that blocks her view of you, but not the sun on you? Not that you should have to, but for the sake of harmony.

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Suggestedrelative94@reddit

It’s on them to tell their daughters. Ffs every street has neighbours like this

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chipsandgravyinyerma@reddit

Definitely acceptable. Your neighbour needs to have a talk with their daughter about minding their own business and respecting peoples privacy. Staring down in to other people's gardens is creepy. A neighbour asked me recently if her doing yoga in the garden more often had been bothering us. We hadn't even noticed she had been.... because its her fucking business lol.

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

I doubt it has remotely anything to do with the daughters, its that neighbours issue they are using a "THINK OF THE KIDS" projection onto. Which if they were actually correct about they should probably have a conversation with their kids about not perving on the neighbours if its such a problem for them. But they won't.

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Pickledprat@reddit

I'd say maybe compromise and get a gazebo. I wouldn't want my neighbours looking at me dressed down, but you'd still be able to relax with less on. I think anything you'd wear at the beach and not get arrested for is acceptable outside on your own property.

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Heavy_TOG@reddit

Get some fancy boxers and say they're swim shorts or go full bollock out just to piss em off. I'd do the latter just for craic

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Lower_Possession_697@reddit

Nope, it's their problem. They're being prudish and intrusive to ask your to change your behaviour. If they're not comfortable with their teenage daughter looking at you, that's something they need to talk to her about. Sounds like they can't cope with the fact that their daughter isn't an infant anymore.

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Acceptable-Floor-265@reddit

They won't and will scream at people when they accidentally go to a clothing optional beach, which has happened to one that got national publicity then people had a paddy about it. Try reading the review, its ridiculously difficult to get to then they whined they made all that effort and had naked people there. Its literally labelled as such.

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Cyberdog1983@reddit

Next time, wear a hat

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Active_Remove1617@reddit

What gay man wears boxers? That’s the real contentious issue here

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PopHead_1814@reddit (OP)

They’re boxerbriefs/trunks, not the dreaded loose fitting boxer shorts.

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Active_Remove1617@reddit

I think we need to see some pictures. Otherwise we could never be sure.

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Kelzzzz777@reddit

They should talk to their daughter about being a little creepy voyer!

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Financial-Ad6475@reddit

There is no significant difference between boxers and swim shorts, unless your wearing tight boxers. How many other neighbours overlook your garden? Much less hassle all round to just throw on a pair of swim shorts rather than making it something confrontational - in which case you will be seen as that creepy guy 🤷‍♂️

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LoktarOgarrr@reddit

Sounds like you are buff mate ;)

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PopHead_1814@reddit (OP)

Well im far from being an Adonis but I work out and run so have a fairly decent body.

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cleb9200@reddit

Humans have totems of association. It might seem ridiculous in black and white terms but swim shorts says “I’m sunbathing” where as underwear says “I’m getting my kink on”. You’re right, it’s ridiculous but then so are a lot of societal boundaries if you really examine them. Do what you like in your own garden, but don’t be surprised when it illicits reactions in people

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RoxieBenz@reddit

is it really that hard to just avoid peering into your garden? unless i’m actively staring out my window, i can’t notice anything but then again i’m on the second floor of my home and i always keep my curtains closed.

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Typical_Ad_210@reddit

Just imagine if you were a woman and they openly said that their teen son had been perving on you. You would easily see that the fault for that lay with him and his parents, and that they were raising and enabling a creep. It’s no different here. Enjoy your garden and invest in some skimpy briefs just to mess with them.

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tyxxr2000@reddit

I fucking hope so.

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shannoouns@reddit

The pants are fine. She shouldn't be looking anyway.

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seven-cents@reddit

You're allowed to sunbathe anywhere. There is absolutely nothing indecent by sunbathing in your own garden while you're covering your genitalia. Your neighbour is a weirdo.

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I-Like-IT-Stuff@reddit

If you gay it's fine, if you weren't then might not be. Nuance, hell of a thing.

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pickled-Lime@reddit

As long as your twig and berries are covered and your not performing a sexual act your all good. The issue here is he wants you to cover up to stop his daughter checking you out, she's the issue. He should be having a conversation with her and not blaming you.

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theotherquantumjim@reddit

No! You should be arrested and thrown in the dungeon without trial

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TLMoore93@reddit

I think it's perfectly acceptable. If they aren't comfortable with their daughter looking at you they should have a conversation with her about being a peeping Tom. If you were a woman and it was a teenage boy staring at you I'm sure the blame would be placed differently 🙄

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Ronotrow2@reddit

Boxer shorts are the same as swim shorts to me. Not more skimpy. Carry on

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Old_Manner_9044@reddit

Only if little @pophead_1814 hangs out of the boxers. If not screw ‘em. You are wearing more than some people at the beach.

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All_within_my_hands@reddit

It's no different to wearing Speedos.

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Mumfiegirl@reddit

It’s less revealing than wearing speedos

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wolfhelp@reddit

Ahhh budgie smugglers

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Lassitude1001@reddit

Yeah exactly. Switch to Speedos OP. Perfectly adequate.

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nacnud_uk@reddit

Of course. Naked if you like. Depends your front lawn though on that one.

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FuckedupUnicorn@reddit

I sunbathe naked. If the neighbours are offended, they don’t need to look. To be fair though, the garden is pretty secluded and they’d have to lean far out of a window. I can’t see the real difference between swim shorts and boxers anyway. Although don’t let your bollocks fall out. I imagine a sunburn there would not be fun.

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freefallade@reddit

I sunbathe naked in my garden. Not very overlooked hut if someone wanted to, they could probably see me. That's their problem for being nosey.

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tomtink1@reddit

Tell them you'll switch to more appropriate attire - swimwear. Then find the tiniest Speedo's you can. You can get ones that you're meant to be able to tan through. I know because my parents' friend was very proud of his when our families went on holiday together one year (we could have lived without knowing!). It's absolutely ridiculous that they're trying to police how you behave in your own garden rather than controlling their pervy teenager from ogling you! You should be the one who's upset about being watched in the privacy of your own property Vs them being upset about how much or little you're wearing while you're there.

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Dyrenforth@reddit

Boxers are far less revealing and snug than speedos. The teenage girl is being downright creepy and they should address that instead of taking it out on you.

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PopHead_1814@reddit (OP)

When I say boxers a I mean like the boxerbrief/trunk style ones not the loose short types. So they are snug/fitted, but like you say no different to a lot of swimwear and speedos.

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Dyrenforth@reddit

They still cover up more than a pair of budgie smugglers would. It's their problem, not yours.

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HussingtonHat@reddit

Your garden your rules bro.

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Brido-20@reddit

Unless they're going out of their way to observe you on your property, you may be open to charges of offending public decency. Basically if there's nothing obstructing the view into your property from public spaces you don't have any defence of privacy.

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useittilitbreaks@reddit

>Basically if there's nothing obstructing the view into your property from public spaces A neighbour's upstairs bedroom window isn't a public space, and it doesn't matter that it looks onto someone else's private property. Your post is reaching.

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tvthrowaway366@reddit

The offence of outraging public decency requires that *the act was of such a lewd character as to outrage public decency* and sitting in your underwear in your garden obviously fails this test. There is nothing lewd or outrageous about it.

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Brido-20@reddit

Whether public decency was outraged is subject to the Clapham Omnibus test and very well might pass it. Intent isn't the question, effect is.

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Dunk546@reddit

OP would absolutely *never* get done for this unless they were performing a lewd or sexual act. *Even if OP were literally naked.*

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Prestigious_Risk7610@reddit

Honestly, I think it depends on the layout and how overlooked your garden is. I'd just take sensible steps. Can you sunbathe in a spot where she can't see from her window. If you're sat in a chair, have you back to their place. The point I'd make is teenagers aren't as subtle as they think, and if her parents have noticed her checking you out then it's likely to become awkward. For example I'd be tempted to interpret it as the parent going "I really don't want you coming over complaining that my daughter has been staring at you out the window (or far more awkward things), so could you just tone down the temptation, and if you don't and you feel staring eyes it's on you"

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PopHead_1814@reddit (OP)

I’m in a row of houses and my gardens not very big so there’s no spot to go into it that wouldn’t be visible from the windows at the back of my neighbours properties. Likewise I can see into the gardens of my neighbours on either side from my bedroom window.

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HeronThat@reddit

You need to tell your neighbours to mind their business and look away from your garden.

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wolfwalke@reddit

I do it all the time… granted only one person can see over but what’s the difference if they were just small shorts… tell him to rotate

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tanyalei@reddit

Wear what you want in your own garden, she doesn’t need to look out at you. I wouldn’t go out to your car in just boxers though as that’s slightly different. You could always go one step further and wear a thong in your garden 😂

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Neither_Presence_522@reddit

It all depends on the circumstances- just because you’re gay doesn’t stop the teenage girls next door perving over you if you’re lucky enough to be physically attractive. Your best bet is to consider your neighbours opinions, but ultimately the choice is yours.

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tvthrowaway366@reddit

It’s absolutely not OP’s responsibility to teach his neighbours not to be voyeurs — they are completely in the wrong for treating this as his error and not their daughter’s.

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Neither_Presence_522@reddit

I didn’t say the OP was in the wrong!! Personally I would always consider the neighbours opinions but ultimately make my own choices in my own garden.

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PopHead_1814@reddit (OP)

I do know that, I added that for context just because I didn’t want people to leap to conclusions that I knew there was a teenage girl living next door and was trying to impress her or anything like that. What circumstances does it actually depend on then?

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tvthrowaway366@reddit

It doesn’t depend on anything. You’re fully in the clear legally.

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CyborgPoo@reddit

I'm more than happy for any lady to do that. 😋

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southcoastal@reddit

Sorry but it’s your garden. You can sunbathe naked if they don’t like your boxers.

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SaltireAtheist@reddit

Fuck 'em. Though maybe not literally in your case. You are not a creep for existing in your own back garden in boxers.

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