None of the "who was your teenage crush" posts in this sub will ever hold a candle to my queen Elvira, mistress of the dark

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instant_ramen_chef@reddit

I had the distinct pleasure of meeting her as she was working the haunt I was also working. Cassandra is one of the nicest and sweetest people you'd ever wanna meet. Shes hilarious non-stop.

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Maanzacorian@reddit

She was just on Michael Rosenbaum's podcast.

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JadeDragonMeli@reddit

Yes, my goth fetish likely started here.

She's amazing and has aged like wine.

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really_bad_guy@reddit

She is where my love for cleavage began. Thank you for your service.

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M1Z1L4@reddit

My first word was Elvira! From the song, not the lady, sadly.

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AFetaWorseThanDeath@reddit

She might be even prettier without the costume.

https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0005308/mediaviewer/rm1700013569/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk

Gawd :o

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Ok_I_Guess_Whatever@reddit

Considering she’s one of the girls, I can dig it.

I didn’t realize she and PeeWee were besties. It makes sense. They’re both queer and known for characters not necessarily themselves.

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Ok_I_Guess_Whatever@reddit

Am I breaking someone’s heart by telling you Elvira is gay?

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Odd-Buffalo-6355@reddit

I didn't know Pee Wee was gay. Hopefully no ones hart is broken.

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That was why he was arrested in the adult theater. It’s not because he was… handling his business. It’s because it was a gay theater. Those places show porn for men before the internet. They know they’re gonna fap.

RIP PeeWee

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regeya@reddit

Nowadays he'd just quietly watch it at home. Or he could be a Republican politician and just post links to Twitter...looking at you, Ted Cruz...

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ManbadFerrara@reddit (OP)

You're playing with my emotions so hard right now that I had to Google it:

They fell in love and have been together for the last 19 years. In an interview with The Orange County Register, Peterson described her sexuality as fluid and said that she's still attracted to men, too.

Lloyd Christmas voice: "so you're telling be there's a chance....YEAH!!!!"

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Ok_I_Guess_Whatever@reddit

Why do you guys gotta have everyone hot? We like women. We like boobs. We like to treat our women right.

It’s okay. We have half of Aubrey Plaza, Megan Fox, and all of Renee Rapp

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ManbadFerrara@reddit (OP)

I'll be sure to ask Elvira that question once we meet and fall in love and run away together despite her being like three years younger than my mom. So there.

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No_Seaworthiness3008@reddit

There is still hope hang in there

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whatsmyname81@reddit

Haha you saved me having to do it! Made my day when I found that out.

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weltvonalex@reddit

Nothing to do with their sexual orientation. They were in the same actor/ comedy group. The Groundlings.

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Ok_I_Guess_Whatever@reddit

Yeah. That’s how they met.

But believe me, being queer helped. There’s nothing wrong with being in community in multiple ways

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weltvonalex@reddit

She was and I think is very active in the queer community, it's all in her book. Honestly the Audio book is amazing.

She is a cool Dudette

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jessek@reddit

They were in the groundlings together with Phil Hartman and John Paragon (Jambi the Genie and Elvira’s co-writer)

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CrowandSeagull@reddit

She’s in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure! “I say you let ME have ‘im first!”

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Braveheart00@reddit

They’re both Groundlings.

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Punkinpry427@reddit

Named my cat after her!

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hbi2k@reddit

She was born in my old hometown of Manhattan, Kansas. Every year around Halloween the local newspaper would have a big article in the arts section catching us up on the local girl who went to L.A. and made it in Hollywood.

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SweetCosmicPope@reddit

Elvira is awesome. She’s sexy, very witty, and just fun. And honestly, she’s like 70 something now and could absolutely still get it. I think my wife might let me too if I had the chance. Lol

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sejenx@reddit

Except your wife has a better chance of getting it. Sorry!

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_sonidero_@reddit

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Ordinary_Aioli_7602@reddit

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weltvonalex@reddit

Yours Cruelly is a very entertaining book, if you can give it a try or listen to the Audio book, she reads it.

But beware, there are some dark parts in it too.

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Appropriate-Neck-585@reddit

Many a tissue was destroyed cause of Elvira, lol

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CY83rdYN35Y573M2@reddit

So while she was obviously smoking hot, a fact that was absolutely not lost on teenage me, I could never really get past the hair tbh. I'm down with goth ladies fo sho, but the Marge Simpson/Conehead-shaped hairstyle up top was always mildly off-putting.

Hit me with the downvotes, y'all

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whenth3bowbreaks@reddit

She's actually a red head irl

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CY83rdYN35Y573M2@reddit

She should have led with that...

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_dangling_participle@reddit

I'm a straight woman but I came to say this exactly. Always looked like a black thistle up there, or one of the British Royal Kingsguard. I always wondered if/how it didn't ruin the sexiness for straight guys. Like, I always felt like she was a total smokeshow and then just ruined it with the hair.

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Dragonfly-Adventurer@reddit

She wasn't doing it to be some flawless sex symbol, she was playing homage to a whole generation of silver screen icons who fused sex and horror together. Really if she had been too alluring it would have screwed the character up. Also the character's personality borders on valley girl in a sarcastic, ball-breaking way which, again not about submitting to the viewer's idea of sexuality but is about imposing her own once the visual seduction has taken place.

Like, she's not quite human, and the boobs lure you in, so she can eat you.

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Horse_Dad@reddit

She had hair?

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CY83rdYN35Y573M2@reddit

Glad I'm not the only one!

Also...

British Royal Kingsguard

😂 YES!

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Slowly-Slipping@reddit

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whenth3bowbreaks@reddit

That come undone song is my go to karaoke song everyone is bellowing the lyrics, even gen Zers which totally surprised me.

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kingjuno23@reddit

God Natalie Imbruglia was my girl!!

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938h25olw548slt47oy8@reddit

The lead singer of the Divinyls

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SexyWampa@reddit

Oh , you ain't alone in that one. She's the whole reason I like spooky girls...

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ChewieArtist@reddit

Elvira's wife is the champ. Imagine being married to her and not telling anyone. I would not make it a week before i told someone.

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marcusdj813@reddit

She was one of many teenage crushes I had.

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nahmahnahm@reddit

We got to see her perform at Knotts Berry Farm during her last season performing there. She is older than my mom (73!) and still an absolute smoke show!

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Ezypeezylemonsqueezy@reddit

My best guy friend, who is 43, would like to tell you why Xena Warrior Princess is the Queen instead 😆 I got him the box DVD set for Xmas last year 😂

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VashMM@reddit

Lucy Flawless more like, am I right?

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Ezypeezylemonsqueezy@reddit

Jabroni?? Is that you?! 😂

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VashMM@reddit

Nah, just a dude who also appreciates Xena ha ha

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Hi-Scan-Pro@reddit

I knew I'd seen that hair before.

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scoff-law@reddit

I just watched this movie today and loved it. I don't remember other stuff from that era being so self aware. I also cannot believe that Chastity Pariah sat on that old man's face.

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Dragonfly-Adventurer@reddit

"Oooo I see you've made your famous tic-tac pie"

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epidemicsaints@reddit

I substituted the etra zeeba for Hamburger Helper.

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scarletteclipse1982@reddit

You should also check out Elvira’s Haunted Hills.

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epidemicsaints@reddit

Well I never!

And ya never will with those soup cans on your head.

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TonyNoPants@reddit

I saw her recently on some YouTube channel getting interviewed. She makes 73 look amazing.

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SidNightwalker@reddit

I gotta say, she is still astoundingly hot.

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FriendlyPea805@reddit

She definitely helped me as a young man…..

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travelinmatt76@reddit

I met her and Flash Gordon at the Texas Pinball Festival a few years ago.

https://imgur.com/gallery/v0wt4PI

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Particular-Routine16@reddit

You should check out her autobiography that came out a few years ago. It is so entertaining. She even reads the audio book!

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ImitationCheesequake@reddit

Elvira and Dolly are two of my forever crushes.

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Kernburner@reddit

NPR had her on the other day explaining the origins of the character. I don’t remember what specific show it was, but it was really interesting.

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ManbadFerrara@reddit (OP)

I was listening to that! Despite the bimbo/airhead image that was prominent of female "sex symbols" in the 80s/90s, she really comes off as an intelligent, extremely savvy woman.

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