How many of you never had "the talk" with your parents ?
Posted by sneezhousing@reddit | Xennials | View on Reddit | 474 comments
I'm 44 and to this day never talked about sex with my parents. My entire education from them came from a book. I took a shower one day and came back into my room with a book about puberty on my bed. The book talked about sex. That was my entire sex education
Obvious-Dinner-5695@reddit
My mom told my sister. I was in the back seat. That was basically it.
lcl0706@reddit
I was about 10 years old when we took a family trip to the mall, back when malls were a thing. My mom was browsing a bookstore and I was waiting in the main area of the mall. She bought me a book about puberty. It was quite detailed with illustrations and included a chapter about sex. She tossed it into my lap and that was the extent of my puberty and sex education.
Unsurprisingly, even decades later, I am still uncomfortable telling my mom much about my personal life other than the very basics.
AccountApprehensive@reddit
I remember having chats about sex and pregnancy with our neutered cats as a starting point hahaha! My mom would sometimes casually draw parallels and brought the thing up naturally
Solid_Ear_3049@reddit
when i was little, a story was on the radio about abortion. i asked why people had babies if they didn’t want to - my mom asked if i knew how babies were made, and i answered that i thought mom had to swallow something and the baby grew in her tummy. my mom explained that was not accurate and explained genitals, but very little else. there was a book on my dresser years later, but riding the school bus had already sorted that for me.
StarPower84@reddit
I’m 40 and got none. Not even a book. My mom even signed the form to remove me from the classes in school. I found out through friends and my boyfriend whom I got pregnant with at 16 years old. I had my kids at 17, 20 and 26. Made my mom a grandma at 37. My kids made it out of high school without kids but I did become a grandma almost 4 years ago. I’m thinking the no education backfired on my parents.
azraelus@reddit
They knew what was going on in the shower OP
NuovaFromNowhere@reddit
Both my parents were dead by the time I was 10, so no time for the talk. My grandmother, who raised me, basically just told me I couldn’t have a boy in my room with the door closed. My great grandmother talked to me about sex when I was about 16 and it was adorable.
wander-lux@reddit
I got a book with tons of illustrations lol
PerfectEngineering55@reddit
My parents let my middle school and middle school youth group handle “the talk”. I admit I had some idea before these educational events after having found my dad’s porn stash, but at least I knew the official names to everything…and that I would be soiled forever if I had premarital sex or listed, so there’s that…
Flux_My_Capacitor@reddit
I live in a state with extensive sex education classes and it still blows my mind that 3 decades later there are still places with nothing.
MrsAshleyStark@reddit
What state is that? (curious Canadian)
1980powder1980@reddit
We had a good program in Michigan (South Ontario.)
bluemitersaw@reddit
Fellow Michigander here. It was a good system we had. But my eldest just went through that age and 'class' for it and it was hardly anything at all. Far far less then what we did when I was in school. We have regressed and I'm pretty pissed about it.
1980powder1980@reddit
Oh I know. I probably should have put more emphasis on 'had.'
bluemitersaw@reddit
Now lets say it loud and proud "Fuck John Engler"
Routine_Ask_7272@reddit
Michigan here too. Had 5th grade & 6th grade sex ed classes.
There was more later on. 8th grade. Then, again in High School health class (10th grade). This focused more on STDs and pregnancy.
As a Xennial, we didn't have Internet access growing up. My family signed up for AOL on my 14th birthday, and I received a comprehensive sex education via dial-up. 🤣😂🤣
ofTHEbattle@reddit
Michigander here as well, I know we had sex ed rolled in with someone class but I don't remember anything about it. I also never had that chat with my parents. My girlfriend at the end of my junior year was 22....so I learned a lot from her! 🤣🤣🤣
princesstofu@reddit
my Michigan sex Ed was taught by the towns mayor, who was later convicted sex crimes against children. so not all areas in Michigan had great sex ed.
(to add the convicted pedophile is out of jail and in the masters of social work program at EMU)
Mondub_15@reddit
Oregon here, very comprehensive. Signed, A Health Teacher
mina-ann@reddit
Oregon here. My parents had given me a book, but then I think it was 6th grade we had an awkward but necessary sex ed class for a whole quarter, including foam sprayed all over the projector, and condoms blown up to demonstrate how sturdy they are.
HedgehogCremepuff@reddit
What part of Oregon? I lived in baby Silicon Valley so we had extremely progressive education (I remember receiving proper AIDS education along with Basic Aid Training in early primary grades). The rest of the state isn’t the Portland area though.
Due-Principle9112@reddit
We had zero sex ed until freshman year of high school, 1993 for me. I learned about my period from a pamphlet that mom got me from the health department. No discussions ever. This was in Oregon and my parents are prude as hell 😬
str4ngerc4t@reddit
Not op but we had this in NY state. Age appropriate starting with a seminar by the school nurse in 5th grade and actual classes in middle school and high school. Sex Ed was part of the mandatory “health class”.
AdoraBelleQueerArt@reddit
Same (yay CPS!) but my sex talk was “Don’t be gay” AT 16!!!!
ErinMcLaren@reddit
I actually attended a Catholic school kindergarten thru 8th grades in the middle of the US.
I transferred to a public highschool, and it still amazes me to this day how honest and informative my sex ed experience was vs those of my public school counterparts.
Maybe our parish priest was particular liberal but 🤷🏻♀️ I was super dumbfounded by how little my teen peers knew.
Bakelite51@reddit
The only thing we learned about sex was what “STD” stood for and the basic anatomy of the sex organs, which was touched upon briefly in health education.
SalukiKnightX@reddit
My school’s definition of sex ed was showing pics of STDs from the county health department.
PositionHopeful8336@reddit
Yeah I’m from upper Michigan and we just watched “the diving board” video with our PE teacher…
squirrelfriend3@reddit
Was that video animated?
PositionHopeful8336@reddit
Yes it was a cartoon… 70s/80s style animation similar to “bill on capital hill” or that California reasons scrub mcgruff Dare collab…
it had the reputation of the “diving board. Likely due to the comedic timing of the scene and how has adolescence supposed to be learning about something serious laughter frowned upon or name from the “upperclassman” in reference to an animated character standing on a diving board jump and the sound effects are boing…boing….(sound is a spring or old door stopper) to imply a different sort of jumping board had popped up…
TBH that’s the only thing I remember from the video.
Writeforwhiskey@reddit
I was in JROTC all 4 years, our sex education was "Don't fucking fuck, that's an order"
Ok
elphaba00@reddit
It wasn't the complete sex ed in my school, but I remember the slides. I think they got them from health services at the local state university. This is what happens when you let your infection go too far
Secure_Ad_295@reddit
Am from Minnesota and all we where really told was don't have sex . They teach abstinence here. Most parents don't let there kids take the class I was in my 20s before I new what a condom really was
LordLaz1985@reddit
“Still.” They had something, then changed the laws to ban sex ed, in most states that don’t have it.
Lokii11@reddit
Same no talk and no book!
Ok_Bike_369@reddit
Nope never. They both (they were divorced since I was five) at different times randomly said to never get on birth control because its "not healthy". That was it. And yeah sex ed was in 7th grade.
IncognitoRanchDorito@reddit
Look up “Where did I come from?” On YouTube. That’s was my only sex education from my parents. My mom popped in the VHS and left the room to make dinner. We did not discuss it.
nbanditelli@reddit
I watched the magic Johnson HIV special with my mom and our neighbor. That was it.
Annhl8rX@reddit
Never. The closest we ever got to that was when we had sex-ed (or at least what passed for it in small town Texas in the 90s) in 7th grade, they had to sign a permission slip for me to participate. My mom said, “Let me know if you have any questions about what they teach you”. I would have cut my own dingus off before I ever asked my parents a question.
Sweet_Bang_Tube@reddit
"I would have cut my own dingus off before I ever asked my parents a question."
See, I am afraid my 14 year old son thinks this way, so I don't want to embarrass him, but I am scared that he will get all the wrong ideas from his peers who know nothing or next to nothing about sex and will give him a bunch of misinformation and he will end up in a bad situation.
I also tell him "you can come to me about anything, I will never judge you" and after reading your comment, I am wondering if the first thought in his mind was "yeah right, lady, I would NEVER ask you" Like, why? Am I really such a horrible source of information? Why is it so repulsive of an idea for children to learn these things from their parents?
Mean-Lynx1922@reddit
Well, if you thought it was funny to tease or shame or scare your children when they were young, don't be surprised when they don't want to talk to you about serious, scary, or awkward topics. But hopefully that isn't you.
Sweet_Bang_Tube@reddit
That is a colorful response and definitely has not been my parenting style.
DearSentence8702@reddit
It was repulsive for me because my parents would have shamed me just for having thought of the question. So hell no I wasn't going to ask them. When we gave our son the talk we told him his friends were stupid and probably didn't know what the hell they were talking about so if he had a question he can come to us. But we've always been pretty open and honest with him about anything. he had a couple questions - nothing too detailed. I told him he will never be in trouble or made fun of for asking a question - no questions are stupid. I hope he comes to us. (fingers crossed)
Sweet_Bang_Tube@reddit
Yeah I would absolutely never shame him, I don't get why parents would do that. I don't care if he's straight, gay, bi, asexual, wants to wait until marriage, wants to be non monogamous, whatever! I just want him to be safe, know about consent, and preventing pregnancy and STDs. I want him to know sex and masturbation are natural and happy, healthy things. But I feel like "forcing" a talk on him isn't the way to go about it... but not sure of the way to actually go about it.
HedgehogCremepuff@reddit
Consent is a great place to start! If you haven’t already been teaching him about his own bodily consent (like not being forced to hug or kiss relatives at any age), that’s a good way to start talking about intimate potentially romantic relationships. You’re not forcing it on him any more than you force knowledge about good hygiene and getting enough sleep. It’s important to get ahead of it though instead of waiting until he’s already gotten poor information elsewhere.
Electronic-Ride-564@reddit
No talk here either. I was mortified just asking my mom to sign the slip.
She did not offer to answer any questions, thank goodness.
TheLeathal13@reddit
Nope no talk at all. When I was 19 and in college l, my mom was helping me move some furniture. A top from a box of condoms fell out of my desk. She picked it up and put it back in the drawer. That 10 seconds of silence was as close as I ever got to the talk.
hideNseekKatt@reddit
I don't remember a talk really but they did give me two books one to teach me about sex and the other to teach about puberty they were from the 70s and they had the wildest illustrations. Where did I come From and What's Happening To Me
Synthalus@reddit
The talk was more casual I guess. Dad just throwing out there to not get a girl pregnant and never start a relationship with a girl whom already has kids. Also that his buddy went to town to f*** any girl he could at the local dance club and got one pregnant and got stuck with her.
In school biology class just got the workings of the human body and live action footage of a female getting pregnant internally and the sperm reaching the egg, developing into a child. Nearly the whole process.
At fairs me at age 8 and my sister were collecting pamphlets at every single stand. Condom use and safe sex, dangers of std's was part of our stack. We both got curious and got educated in a unique way. No safe sex education at all whatsoever in school or by the parents except the pamphlets...
Found the one and kept myself just for her till age 27. Fast forward in 2019 I got her pregnant with twins. It was a planned try for 3 years, twins were a happy surprise lol
Isaac1867@reddit
No, thankfully, my parents never tried to have the talk with me. I think that would have been an extremely awkward conversation. I was much happier learning all that stuff from the sex education classes at school. Fortunately, Ontario had a pretty comprehensive sex ed curriculum, so I got all the information I needed.
pamakane@reddit
It blows my mind that people has to be taught sex. I figured it all out on my own. 🤷♂️
imhighonpills@reddit
I just remember my mom telling me not to believe a girl if they say they’re on birth control
Chucha83@reddit
The what?
gethee2anunnery@reddit
My cousin got pregnant at 15. I was 7 and I remember my mom sitting me down with her creepy anatomy books from nursing school in the 70s, full of naked people with huge bushes and black bars over their eyes. I think the next time we spoke about it was when I was 14 and she cornered me with a promise ring and cried when I refused to wear it. thanks for the trauma, mom!
Substantial_Leg6852@reddit
I think I was 5 or 6 when my mom first mentioned it (brother is 15 months older, he had questions). She Gabe a few more details when we were slightly older. We had classes on puberty starting in gr 4 and gr 5. Sex Ed was common for a couple of days in high school through PE. Pretty sure Mom talked to my friend and I about birth control when I was 12 (and we both had started menstruating).
If we had questions, they were answered, in an age appropriate way.
Appropriate_Bird_223@reddit
Never. My parents were in their 40s when I was born, so they were the age of a lot of my peers' grandparents. There were quite a few topics of conversation that were viewed inappropriate in their generation. Everything I learned was from friends and the school puberty talks in 5th grade and middle school.
kalamity_katie@reddit
Luckies! My mom was way too comfortable with her "sexuality" (barf), and my step dad didn't have kids of his own until my baby sister was born, so boundaries were weird at my house. Nobody gave "the talk," but we watched raunchy movies & heard crude comments from the time we were young.
HuikesLeftArm@reddit
My parents left a book on my bed at one point that that was pretty much it
Solid-Hedgehog9623@reddit
Beginning of 11th grade. Very short conversation with my dad. ‘If you need condoms, Trojan is the best. I’ll get them for you if you need me to.’ I go, ‘Is that what you used?’ And he LAUGHED! ‘We didn’t use condoms…’ in a tone that accused me of being an absolute fucking nerd. That was it. I know it wasn’t easy to approach me on the topic and I had a new respect for him. I bought my own protection. I figured that if I was grown up enough to have sex, the least I could do is be man enough to buy my own pro-fos.
pina_koala@reddit
My parents would never in a million years have granted that request lmao
cardonnay@reddit
Same and to make matters worse, it was a faith-based book which was steeped in purity culture.
sneeria@reddit
Ooh, same, I got the Dr. Dobson one. I wish I still had it to set on fire. We can ban those books, lol
tasteofhuman@reddit
Got that one and “ask us if you have any questions.” And that pissed me off. You’re telling me sex before marriage is a sin, getting pregnant out of wedlock is an even greater sin, and getting an abortion is the worst sin of all. Why the FUCK would I ask you about anything related to sex??
sneeria@reddit
Exactly!!
Friendly_Abroad1560@reddit
Saaaaame
boneso@reddit
I would join this bonfire
jupitergal23@reddit
If there was ever a book that deserves burning...
Mean-Lynx1922@reddit
Yep. I just happened to find a new book on the shelf one day. Asking Questions about Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole. (Apparently, she was more than a children's author.)
I guess it got the job done, but I had to figure out pads and tampons by myself because I didn't feel okay asking about the logistics.
epidemicsaints@reddit
My mom is a registered nurse and doesn't even accept cutesy words for body parts. I have seen her explain sex to other people's children that are too old to think kissing gets a girl pregnant. She does not give a fuck.
pina_koala@reddit
That works! One of my friends with kids says their family rule is that you can refer to a body part by its name, not slang of any kind. It takes the fun out of it real fast for the ones just learning how to curse
Hiciao@reddit
My mom was also a nurse and I asked about it when I was 7. She explained it with all the proper words and that was the end of it.
jupitergal23@reddit
Your mom is a goddamn hero.
borisdidnothingwrong@reddit
I was three, going on four, when my mom sat us down to explain what pregnancy was while she was 7 months pregnant with my first sister.
She had an illustrated medical dictionary and a copy of Gray's Anatomy, and explained how sex, gestation, pregnancy, and birth all worked.
My only question at the time was, if you have to pee, what do you do?
Mom said it usually wasn't a problem.
15 years later, I understood.
Known-Ad-100@reddit
Technically I'm a millennial but I relate to this sub, never had the talk. But idk, somehow I just knew/learned more with age. Although, I didn't know what my first period was! I did know about periods but my first one was more brown than red and I had cramps, I didn't know wtf was going on. I was at a horseshoe tournament with my father. Luckily, he has 2 big sisters and 3 little sisters and he knew exactly what was going on! Lol
NW_Runner@reddit
Sex is satanic or something
BrattyTwilis@reddit
They explained it to me, though I never seriously dated anyone in high school, so it wasn't really a problem
FullSpeedOracle@reddit
When I was a teenager my mom told my dad that he needed to have "the talk." He looked at my brother and me and said, "God help whichever one of you makes me a grandfather." And that was it. The entire talk in one vaguely threatening sentence. 😂
street_parking_mama2@reddit
Mine never did. Instead, my boomer mother told me I could get pregnant by sitting on the curb or the back of a motorcycle.
tat2adam@reddit
I learned about the birds and bees from cinemax
softly-machine@reddit
my mom started to read me a book one time at the kitchen table but started laughing and blushing and ran off saying i'd figure it out. my dad never spoke of it.
LMurch13@reddit
I got a book.
bluedahlia82@reddit
Same experience, they gave me the "Where did I come from" book, and then kind of figured out from movies and tv, lol. I don't remember having the talk, I do remember knowing too much too soon - and so were my classmates. We were all very sexually aware from a very young age.
discipula-lenguae@reddit
LOL HAHAHA HA no. Never.
bloodpriestt@reddit
My dad walked in on me getting a blowjob.
He didn’t say shit, just “oooooh” and shut the door. My gf was mortified and waited until no one was in the living room before getting tfo as fast as possible.
Later that night, Dad says “let’s go to the store”. As we are backing out of the driveway, he goes “do we need to y’know… talk? About condoms or whatever?”
I said, “uhhh no”
“Alright”
That was it.
Do_it_My_Way-79@reddit
You got a book? That’s more than I ever got.
NailedEeet@reddit
I had the talk with my parents separately, but it went a little something like this:
Dad (to me, at 14, out of fucking nowhere): Y’know, son. You’re probably going to meet a girl soon and you’re going to want to put your dink in her.
Me: Uhhh, okay?
Dad: …
Me: …
Dad: Well, be respectful.
Me: Mom! ____ kissed me!
Mom: …
Me: …
Mom: Don’t get AIDS.
Me: ….
NeverEndingCoralMaze@reddit
I went to Catholic school and surprisingly had a very well-rounded sexual education. It was, of course, abstinence-based, but we were still taught about birth control. We were also taught a ton about consent (this was in the 90s).
My birthmom bought me a book called “The What's Happening to My Body? Book for Boys” and that was about it. I’m gay so I used the sketches for jack off material, in between JC Penney catalogues.
orchestragravy@reddit
In the 8th grade, we were separated into two different rooms, boys and girls. We each watched a film. That was the extent of it.
PeanutNo7337@reddit
No talk, no book. It was a taboo subject in our house and I was made to feel so much shame around it that i was afraid to talk to anyone about it. That made for some embarrassing learning moments.
thundernlightning97@reddit
My parents just assumed I knew by a certain age. When I was a kid my dad would just casually mention sex when relevant to convo.
silverfang789@reddit
My mother talked with me casually about sex from the time I can remember anything. I think it kept it from being "mystified" for me and thus I was never really curious about it.
trcharles@reddit
Yeah no.
Rude_Masterpiece_239@reddit
Nah, always tt my mom about it. Very open. Has sex Ed stuff in school and an older sister. Tons of neighborhood older kids around too. I was all schooled up early haha. I’ll be real open with my kids too. No fucks. I’m not scared of any topic of conversation. I live for the awkward.
SamDiddlyAm07@reddit
Definitely myself and my other 3 siblings. My parents didn’t talk to us about shit.
austex99@reddit
My mom just left her romance novels lying around and I read enough of them to piece things together, more or less.
FollowingNo4648@reddit
Never. I learned about birth control and safe sex during 7th grade in school. I didn't even tell my mom when I started my period.
Steelysam2@reddit
I was raised by my mom, who didn't feel comfortable so she had my uncle do it, but I already knew the gist as I'd had sex Ed. However, before I left for college my dad and one of his friends took turns telling me every condom joke they could think of. Does that count?
Wonderful-Emu-8716@reddit
Sex ed was reasonably comprehensive in school. My home talk was just "Don't get a girl pregnant, because you will be taking responsibility, and it'll make your life much, much harder."
Feline_Fine3@reddit
I really don’t remember ever having the talk, I suppose I just learned about it at school. It was one of those things where my mom knew that we knew and we knew she knew we knew haha…and that was it.
Waste-Reflection-235@reddit
In fifth grade the teachers divided up the boys and girls to learn about puberty. I have a vivid memory of watching a video of a mother explaining to her daughter and her daughter’s friends about the anatomy of a uterus. It was ridiculous. The mother was making pancakes. You see where this is going lol. She made a uterus pancake while explaining the menstrual cycle. From middle onto high school, it consists of watching terrible PSA videos in health class. About sex, stds, drug and alcohol abuse. Also the traumatic experience of watching the miracle of life( I think that’s what it was)in biology class, sophomore year. At the end you got a full on shot of a woman giving birth. Never get that image out of my head. Never had “ the talk with my dad” ( that’s a horrifying thought) but my mom was pretty cool about answering any questions I had.
killsforsporks@reddit
They handed me this when I was seven or so?
kaleidoscope471@reddit
My mom started one and I was like “I know what I need to know” and she was happy not to proceed.
NSAinATL@reddit
YVRkeeper@reddit
Dad: I think you’ve seen enough of my magazines (playboy) to know where it goes. Any questions?
12yo Me: …. I think I’m good. 🫤
Thankfully, even my Bible Belt town we had quite extensive sexual education in school.
4everDistracted@reddit
9th grade, my dad sat me down with a checklist of things he wanted to discuss with me. I remember nothing about the conversation itself, just that checklist. It had the word SEX written across the top in big letters. He drew little squares next to items on the list that he put a check in as he reviewed each item. My brain was so distracted by those squares.
I would have needed that talk more if I wasn't friendzoned by every guy I asked out.
ygkg@reddit
I'm really glad the province where I grew up had a solid sex education program because my parents (silent generation) were more comfortable not talking about it. At all. Ever.
Nearby_Ad_7009@reddit
Lol I didn't even get a book.
Nada.
cabinet123door@reddit
My grandmother gave us all "Love and Sex in Plain Language " when I was 10, my brother was 8, and my sister was 6. (My grandmother was an OB/GYN.) My mother lost her mind.
SaberTruth2@reddit
Never had it…
Natural_Ad_3019@reddit
Ditto. They bought me two books. They didn’t even ask me if I had any questions about either of them.
smile_saurus@reddit
I sort of did. When I was maybe 10 or so, I repeated a joke that my 13-year old brother had told me (What comes after 69? Mouthwash!) and my dad laughed but my mom was pissed and told me to explain why it was funny. Then she drew a 6 and a 9 and explained it to me and I was horrified, lol.
We knew what 'sex' was, growing up, we just didn't really have an interest in it. In grade 7, our Health class had Sex Ed. It was very fact based, explaining the 'parts' and all of that. The worst part was the childbirth video.
AccidentalGK@reddit
Didn’t need to. Family was pretty open and frank about sex so I already knew what I needed. And some things I didn’t want to know.
Hiciao@reddit
I asked where babies come from when I was 7. My mom, the nurse, explained it to me very clinically. The next day I went to school and told my friend at lunch. We both said, "ew, gross" and that was the end of it.
wookiesack22@reddit
My parents had a book for kids with pictures. I was like 3 or 4. I knew all about sex from way to early. 80s were weird
I_miss_your_mommy@reddit
I had them with your parents
babyBear83@reddit
I had sex Ed in 5th grade, in rural southern Indiana. It was maybe ‘94 and it’s said saying that was more progressive than what is happening now.
Blathithor@reddit
My mom asked what I knew once. We briefly talked.
Mostly, she gave me advice on life here and there and tried to help me avoid her mistakes
RampantJSH@reddit
I'm almost 40 and I still don't know how it works. Nope never had to talk. I'm missing out on something?
darthduder666@reddit
I wondered when one of my parents would have the talk with me. One random day when I was 15 my dad took me for a ride and said “I think it’s time to talk about where babies come from.”
I was like “uhhh, I think I know all there is to know.” He said “Oh, okay. Well, if you ever want to talk about it let me know.”
We never spoke of it again. I think we were both relieved.
Roller_ball@reddit
I had the talk and my mom used the opening scene of Look Who's Talking as reference.
Sorry_Consequence816@reddit
My friend’s Dad took us to see that in the theater.
I vividly remember him telling my Mom and apologizing to her over and over again “I thought it was just about a talking baby! I had no IDEA it would start that way! I’m so sorry!!”
She just looked at me and said, “It’s fine, I seriously doubt she even understood it.” She was right, I was a clueless. It wasn’t until I watched it ages later and it finally dawned on me why he was apologizing so much.
vexillographer7717@reddit
I saw it with my dad in the theater. During the sperm swimming scene, in a quiet theater, I asked him “dad what is that?!” He whispered “I’ll tell you later.” The people around us burst out laughing, and I looked around annoyed, wondering why people were laughing at my question.
Fun_Intention_5371@reddit
Omg the jokes that went completely over my fucking head in that movie.
So funny
fuzzylilbunnies@reddit
Here’s the talk” I experienced when I was 16 Dad: “Had sex yet?” Me: “Yes.” Dad: “Did you use protection?” Me: “Yes.” Dad: “Good. Now hold the light higher so I can see the block better. Fucking thing is misfiring again and I want to pull the spark plugs.” End of story.
TheSilentCheese@reddit
I had a pretty similar experience, except my dad handed me the book and said we'd discuss it. 6mo or maybe a year later he asked if I had any questions about the book. I said nope. That was it.
42turtlemoves@reddit
My Mum handed me a pack of condoms before I went out on a date when I was 16... Sadly I started having sex at 14... *le sigh*
A talk probably would have been useful and helped a little...
hot4bodge@reddit
Mum read us “Where did I come from?”.
potatopigflop@reddit
Me, but they had the L word on when I was 11, I watched Look Who’s Talking at age 6, and grew up online with early era milf cams, porn video games, and a LOT of VHS’s including “Anal Annie.” So…. The talk was not entirely needed.
foozebox@reddit
I once asked my Mom what cleavage was and she said she didn’t know. wtf.
True_Prize4868@reddit
I definitely did not get “the talk” from my parents. They just let me wander around not knowing anything, and I just figured it out on my own.
Illuminated_Lava316@reddit
I was self taught by an out of date Colliers encyclopedia. My parents told me nothing about sex ever.
CureForTheCommon@reddit
I too, had to look it up in an encyclopedia at my friend’s house. Not a word ever from my parents.
malachite_animus@reddit
ME TOO!!
p0tty_mouth@reddit
Not really, we had a day in elementary school where they went over it a little bit. My mom questioned me about it after I got home, but nothing more was said.
GroundbreakingOne625@reddit
My talk was my dad finding my condoms. Said to me, "Be smart, it feels good for about 30 seconds but not worth having a kid. I won't tell your mom."
GreyMediaGuy@reddit
Exact same!! it was a children’s book, I couldn’t have been more than 11 or 12. I will always wondered what this “slot” looked like. Once I found that penthouse in the woods, I knew.
themoonhasgone@reddit
never had the talk! and found out what my period was in fifth grade with the "pancake talk"
MrSubterranean@reddit
My mom gave me a box of condoms and told me to be safe. School taught me the biology because I didn't live in an idiot state.
Chumbo_Malone@reddit
At 14, my dad drove me to pick up my Homecoming date. In the driveway, before I got out to go get my date from her house, he turns to me and says in his most booming voice…
“NO BABIES”
And that was it. I didn’t understand how sex worked, but I knew no babies.
Pitiful-Body-780@reddit
Nope. Not once.
Defishnsea@reddit
No talk, but sex ed in 7th and 10th grade. My friend’s parents got him a subscription to Playboy in junior high, and he had HBO, so lots of Real Sex.
ClimbingAimlessly@reddit
🙋♀️ Mine was, sex is for marriage only.
micsulli01@reddit
Learned it in the back of the school bus
Goblinboogers@reddit
Wait you guys parents talked to you about anything important.
knockatize@reddit
“No hookers on shore leave, son.”
Jesus, dad. I’m 8 over here.
Wayfaring_Scout@reddit
My dad asked me one day if I had hair growing "down there" yet. I told him yes.
He then said, "It works now, be careful." That was the extent of the Talk for me.
SlackerDS5@reddit
My dad tried once when I was in 8th grade. Started talking about how female salmon have eggs and males have milk and just stumbled over everything. It got painfully awkward and so I stopped him and said it was okay. I know how babies are made and walked out.
Between National Geographic, KQED shows about the miracle of birth and my library, I knew this stuff before I hit middle school.
jbroadway@reddit
43 here. My dad’s attempt at a sex talk was pretty bad (he used the puzzle pieces metaphor to explain how boys and girls fit together 😝) but my mom’s was even worse.
She was drunk at the dining table when I got home one night and decided she was going to show me how to use a condom with some finger cots she had in her purse from work. My step dad came downstairs, looked at her, and said “you’re drunk, go to bed” and she screamed back at him “he’s my son, I don’t want him to die!” I noped right out of there and left them to fight that one out.
My school actually had a nurse come to our class, but our teacher kept interrupting her when she felt things were getting inappropriate, to the point where the nurse asked her to leave so she could do her job 🤦
LeastAd9721@reddit
Never had it. 95% of my parenting came from sitcoms. Danny Tanner and Al Bundy were both huge influences.
EconomicJaguar@reddit
No talks, no books, my only reproductive education was what was provided at school. The first and only sex conversation I had with a parent was at age 18 when I took myself to the gyno who then sent a bill to the house which my mom then opened and I had to confess to being sexually active and just wanted to be safe.
margs721@reddit
My memory: I got a book with a poorly illustrated obese couple that had wildly overgrown pubes. 😑
Geochic03@reddit
No sex talk, but my mom did make me watch a VHS tape sponsored by Tampax, where it went into great detail about all the "womenly changes" i would be experiencing soon. It also included a pamphlet. She just left me alone in her room to watch and didn't even really explain what it was, lol. I think i was 9.
By 3rd grade, I had a general understanding of what sex was. Anything I was missing got filled in durring 7th grade heath class.
Grirgrur@reddit
I’m 42, and this exact same thing happened to me. I’d already read the book a few years prior to that, and had moved onto drugstore housewife pornography. I couldn’t wait until my glistening great sword cleft a throbbing rose.
AD041010@reddit
I don’t distinctly remember having the talk about liberty with my mom. At one point, after my sister became a teen mom, she had the talk with me about being safe and waiting to have sex but other than that I learned in school. I remember in 4th grade they separated the boys and girls into different rooms and had the period/puberty talk with us. They went over boys’ puberty as well and how we shouldn’t laugh at their squeaky voices and whatnot. Other than that I kind of figured it out on my own.
sheridab1h1@reddit
Utahn here…we’re not allowed to talk about s.e.x
pseudonymmed@reddit
Never had it. Parents are Christians. I certainly got the message indirectly that sex before marriage is really bad. I first learned about intercourse/baby making from a book at my friend’s house, then got a decent basic sex ed at school.
prtekonik@reddit
My parents were shit. They taught me nothing.
ProfessionalCoat8512@reddit
My parents didn’t talk to me about sex and opted out of sex Ed classes.
So as revenge I was gay :P
Maximum_Possession61@reddit
The closest my parents giving us any kind of talk, was my mother leaving a pamphlet lying around called "Doctor talks to 5 to 8 year old's. I was 10
VoodoDreams@reddit
We had a "maturation" program in elementary school that happened after school hours. Girls class first and then one for boys, the girls could stay for the boys class after if the parents wanted them to have more details.
Sithstress1@reddit
I was 5 and there was an AIDS special on TV, my Dad left the house for the evening and my mother sat me and my two older sisters down and explained some stuff to us. Then she brought out their copy of The Joy Of Sex and showed us some pictures. We’d already seen all the pics because my 9 year old sister had already snuck into their room and showed us both that book and my Dad’s copies of Playboys 😂. Learned everything about puberty in school or from my older sisters though.
I know for a fact they never had the talk with my younger sister, because me and my two older sisters did. I assume my father had the talk with my little brother but Dad died when he (little brother) was just 16 and I’ve never thought to ask him about it in the 18 years since.
Diligent_Mulberry47@reddit
I never had sex education. I had menstruation education. They taught us all the ways our bodies were changing and how a period would do that.
And when they had to touch on babies it just became “when you get married this is where babies come from”
Neither my parents nor my school gave us sex ed.
My mother regrets it, not BecUse any of us are teen parents, but because she knows it was her own hangup with sex that didn’t prepare her kids for their own sex lives.
Thejenfo@reddit
I received my sex ed in Las Vegas.
Tbh I though it was lame and didn’t cover much. but after hearing these stories, it was WAY more realistic!
Our course was a couple weeks long and we covered things like anatomy, stages of pregnancy, birth control methods, consent laws (including protecting your nude images) and communicable disease.
We had several adults (health teacher, nurse, and police officer) give lectures and do Q&A’s
Most of our (very honest) questions were answered in a very honest fashion.
I recall the officer blushing at one of the questions.
I think the adults there happen to know they weren’t gonna hide shit from us…it’s Vegas 🤷♀️
nocrisistoday@reddit
Dad (57, a cross between Tom Brokaw and Andy Griffith): turns the tv off Son, your mother and I have noticed you and (hs girlfriend who they did not like) are getting close. Well, we’re in agreement that you should wait before taking things further. But if you just, you know, can’t help yourself, you need to use protection. Do you know what I mean by that?
Me (16, Green Day shirt, thinking about the sex I just had with said gf): Yeah.
Dad: ok, good! turns tv back on
orangepaperlantern@reddit
I love the detail of the Green Day shirt, it really paints a picture.
orangepaperlantern@reddit
Nope. Regarding puberty/periods my mom only said something like “you know it doesn’t mean you’re dying or anything, right?”, nothing about sex except a book with kind of grotesque cartoon photos of people and explanations of sex that I barely remember and felt too shamed generally by my mom to feel comfortable reading.
After I unknowingly told an off-color joke at the dinner table that my friend had told me in like 5th/6th grade, my dad and stepmom I think made an attempt at a sex talk but as I recall it ended up being more like about morality and not stealing from people? So fucking weird. I’m absolutely not having kids, but if I had decided to, you damn well bet I would have tried my best to make it not awkward and that they would know they can ask me anything without shame and I’ll answer honestly.
rharper38@reddit
I am almost 48. 2 kids and still no sex talk. She said if I had questions, I could have asked her. We saw Avenue Q and she didn't understand what doggy-style was, so I am pretty confident any "talk" would have been a shit show about saving it for marriage and that it's something to be tolerated.
JudgementofParis@reddit
no, they gave us a few weeks of sex Ed in like 6th grade though
speakbela@reddit
My sister gave me the talk at 10 years old. Everything else I learned from books and my friends. At 18 I went to planned parenthood and had my first gyno exam and asked for birth control.
madogvelkor@reddit
My parents told me in 4th grade. I thought they were making it up and laughed because it sounded so ridiculous.
They also forgot to mention ejaculation so I thought you just kept going until you both got bored.
HugeTheWall@reddit
To be fair, a lot of people do just keep going until they're bored.
dabeeman@reddit
That’s the Sting school of sex ed
Exact_Knowledge5979@reddit
So ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-tantric.
xtlhogciao@reddit
Iirc:
“Mom, where do babies come from?”
“The man puts his penis in the woman’s vagina, and 9 months later, a baby comes out of the woman’s tummy…Don’t tell your little brother.”
“Ok…HEY JIMMY! GUESS WHERE BABIES COME FROM!”
Taupenbeige@reddit
I guess, you’re so fucking tired of talking about it until your kids that age… you’re phoning it in? In a way I’m kind of jealous that you got a comedy experience out of it.
It was pretty common in Europe, where we had ex-patriated when I was Six, to give your kid an overview book. Mine was kind of cartoony.
And then being raised hereditarian universalist I had probably more comprehensive sex ed bachelor’s programs at age 13. Film strips.
Justaman66@reddit
I’m still waiting, when does it usually happen?
goater10@reddit
Nope. I never had the talk with my parents but i learnt all about it in school around Grade 3 in Australia.
HugeTheWall@reddit
I got the "What's happening to my body book for girls" and I was so happy to not have an awkward talk.
d0ughb0y17@reddit
My parents never tried, they thought the education I got from school was more than sufficient, in fact it wasn't. My son just turned 14 and I had that talk with him a year ago and explained it to him.
Chulasaurus@reddit
Surreptitiously listening to Loveline on headphones every night was better than anything provided by the public school system or my parents. Too Lutheran.
Perfect-Factor-2928@reddit
My parents were so deeply invested in no sex before marriage that they thought I was a virgin at 42 because I’d never married. This is after bringing multiple partners to meet them. Nope. We just played parcheesi every night Mom and Dad. Definitely no sex for us! eye roll
pure_opportunity777@reddit
Nope, no sex talk every except when I was given a purity ring at 16 and just told not to do it (the sex). I was staying the night with my bff when I was about 16/17 and she told me a story that included someone talking about a bj. I asked what that was and was completely traumatized when she told me 😅😅😅
YourMathTeacher@reddit
When I heard what a bj was I about lost it. "I'm supposed to do WHAT???!!!!!" 😂 I was SOOOOOOO grossed out (could that have traumatized me fr?). 😂
pure_opportunity777@reddit
🤣
clashing-kicks@reddit
"Be good... If you can't be good, be careful" - mum
"If you can't be careful, remember the date" - dad
Jr5309@reddit
My talk was “If you ever get pregnant in high school, I will disown you.”
I didn’t, so I guess it worked 🤷🏻♀️
Good_With_Tools@reddit
Hanging out with my parents at the bar, and my (very drunk) dad said, "If you ever get a bitch pregnant, don't come home." That was the extent of it for me. Luckily, they had a pretty expansive porn collection, so I DIY'ed my sex-ed.
elphaba00@reddit
Mine would have been seriously disappointed, but I don't think to the level of disowned. I did have a pregnancy scare in high school that I still never told them about.
The disappointment would have come from family history. My mom was the product of a teenage pregnancy. My grandma crossed the stage pregnant. When I was born, my mom's sister that was 12 years younger was pregnant, making her a 15-year-old mom and bride. That same cousin then got his girlfriend pregnant 17 years later. My aunt admitted that she slapped him.
meleedeez@reddit
I was gifted this piece of wisdom after my Mom noticed and pointed at my stomach roll while I slouched a bit as I sat eating lunch at home. I was 15 and so self-conscious about my weight already.. society and family dynamics were of no help.
"What?!? Are you pregnant?! You'd better not get pregnant or I am sendingvyounto a home for pregnant homeless people!!!"
Luckily my Dad was within earshot and looked at her like she had just birthed a demon, and told her to stop it.
sneezhousing@reddit (OP)
Oh I did get. If you get a girl pregnant you're dropping out of high school to care for it and I'm not baby sitting ever
eljeffrey1980@reddit
I am that baby
redditprofile99@reddit
Lol. This sounds familiar
shell37628@reddit
Same. And also my 2yo nephew living with us when I was 15 pretty much convinced me that anyone that had a kid was out of their fucking minds.
My dad's version (divorced parents that didn't talk to each other) was "um look you're gonna do stuff so do what you want and be safe and don't do it here."
The rest was cobbled together from friends and Sassy Magazine.
lab_sidhe@reddit
Never. They didn't even allow us to say the word fart in the house or have friends of the opposite sex over. They would have rather died than talk about sex.
One of my friends had a book called Girl to Woman or something like that. Between that book and family life/sex Ed in school I figured it out.
I'm a scientist now and my kids are 13 and 16 and know everything about sex. To the point where I used to tell them NOT to correct their peers because I didn't know what Tommy's mom and dad deemed appropriate.
somethingquirky01@reddit
Nothing from my parents or family at all. My best friend had to tell me.
a_seventh_knot@reddit
went to catholic hs. We literally has sex ed taught to us by a priest freshman year.....
In religion class.
BranzillaThrilla@reddit
Did everyone get the book? Lol
sneezhousing@reddit (OP)
Mine was one geared specifically for boys. So not this one
callsignmario@reddit
This is the book I remember...
gribbit311@reddit
I didn’t get a talk or a book. Mine began with discussion at 4th lunch table, continued with 6th grade sex ed starting our Math teacher and finished with finding some magazines in the woods.
My wife had a very candid and open discussion about it with our daughters last night and I sat with my jaw open because I didn’t realize that parents actually “the talk.”
SpoolingSpudge@reddit
In my 40s. Still waiting for the talk....
I don't have kids, and have never seen a stalk around here to ask for one. My gf was always cranky about it, so I bought her two dogs... It's not my fault stalks don't live here!
ScoutFinch80@reddit
My story matches yours almost identically.
Cheapchard9@reddit
I was in Illinois. It was mostly don't get STIs or preggers and stay abstinent.
My talk was my dad saying to me at age 16, don't get in girls pants or I will kick your ass. From getting belts before at a young age from him I took that as truth.
Damaged-throwaway11@reddit
Lol, my mom gave me a book on "how you are changing" 2 years after I got my period. My friend's mom had to talk me down & explain to me that I wasn't dying when I first got it. I stole/borrowed pads as needed from public restrooms & friend's mom's stocks. I eventually just read my aunt's old medical books I found in my grandparents basement. I lost my virginity before my parent told me about puberty. I went to a Catholic school, so less than zero sex Ed - a friend of mine got detention for discussing tampons at lunch.
Cisru711@reddit
My dad suddenly started getting Playboy when I was 13 and kept them in a magazine rack in the living room. So, I had health class and the Advisor as my guides.
Cisru711@reddit
Oh, also the high school gym teacher's "keep it in the holster" talk.
chapl66@reddit
dragonfly-1001@reddit
My sex education involved my mother completely ignoring it even happening.
I learnt through absorption method. I just listened to what others spoke about & tried to figure it out for myself.
sneezhousing@reddit (OP)
Happy Cake Day 🎂
jupitergal23@reddit
Never had the talk, learned it all in school. Ok. Learned some of it in school. Learned the rest ... Elsewhere, lol.
Canadian here, so our sex education was frank and informative. But it was the early 90s, so it wasn't as open as it should have been.
I've been determined to be different with my kid, so we have had some very open conversations about sex.
mmmtopochico@reddit
heh, that's exactly what my wife got, only her older brother handed it to her.
i literally had "the talk" with my fifth grader a few days ago after he said he didn't want to be a virgin anymore and i found out he thought that meant "someone who didn't have a girlfriend". false alarm.
roseleyro@reddit
But this is why the convo is important. Kids hear things and misunderstand them, and that's how they get into bad situations, especially when kids are prone to believe the bullshit their peers are spewing.
mmmtopochico@reddit
right! that's exactly why I had to do it. He wound up ending the chat with "all that cause I didn't know what virgin meant?" "yes."
Japaneseoppailover@reddit
I had to give the talk to my dad.
sneezhousing@reddit (OP)
Ok I need more on this
Japaneseoppailover@reddit
I grew up in a Mormon household.
sneezhousing@reddit (OP)
Still need more. He obviously had sex at least once unless you're adopted.
Janice_the_Deathclaw@reddit
Not a word. I asked for BC bc I had terrible acne and wanted something to help and my mom just looked at me disgusted and said no.
Electronic_Angle1167@reddit
I gave my mom the talk. Then asked if I missed anything. She said nope and that was that.
roopjm81@reddit
My dad was a biology professor, the "Talk" was actually last week's Physiology lecture on Chapter 24, "Human Reproduct Systems" no emotions, just pure science.
sneezhousing@reddit (OP)
Better than nothing
Designer-Bid-3155@reddit
If things includes periods. No one spoke to me about this. I was 12 and it came on Thanksgiving, I thought i was dying
EatLard@reddit
This was my wife’s experience. My girls both had their first period at about age ten, but we were both prepared to talk about it. My oldest asking me(!) what to do about period cramps made me feel like a good dad. We went to the store and I bought her some midol.
I resolved as soon as I became a father that I’d make my kids feel comfortable talking about anything with me, since my own parents mostly avoided the subject.
DeltaFlyer0525@reddit
Never had the talk with my parents. I learned about periods and that I would get one from watching My Girl and my catholic school had a very graphic sex Ed class including a birthing video.
TheFractalPotato@reddit
They did a half-assed talk, and it was a defining moment in our relationship because they lied to me during the talk and I knew they were lying/omitting facts.
They sort of explained what a period was (once a month you’ll bleed), and that “making love” was how a woman gets pregnant. I asked point-blank what happens when you make love. My mom says “Well, there’s kissing and petting and things.” I asked again, “Yeah, but what actually happens?” And again, they were just like “Kissing and other things.” They couldn’t explain it to me. They couldn’t even say the word sex, much less use anatomically correct words.
Problem was, like most of us, I already knew what sex was. I had seen magazines and porn and kids share knowledge lol, but at that age, you want confirmation from a trusted source. Looking at my parents dodge the question, looking straight at me and lying, not giving me a clear answer, set the standard for me never going to them with my adolescent problems and concerns. Why would I? It was a litmus test, and they failed.
It’s also why, with my own sons, we’ve had frank and honest conversations about whatever flew into their heads (while being age-appropriate).
RedSolez@reddit
My mom explained puberty and periods to me, but didn't go into specifics about sex. She didn't have to because I had comprehensive sex ed in public school in NJ. My kids' district here in PA does as well.
RemarkableKey3622@reddit
both of my grandfathers gave me the talk. one told me in order to get rid of my acne was to start having sex. the other one told me in order to keep the stork from coming to my house I gotta shoot him in the air before he comes.
EatLard@reddit
How many storks did you shoot before you realized he was full of shit?
WittyAndWeird@reddit
WTF?
RemarkableKey3622@reddit
that's what I said.
505whodat@reddit
We had sex ed every year beginning in 5th grade all through freshman health. The closest I had to that at home was my dad telling me he'd disown me if I was gay. Hmm...I wonder why I didn't come out of the closet until I was 36?
Nanatomany44@reddit
My "talk" was basically: Sex is nasty. Don't do it. Don't get pregnant or I'll beat it out of you. Said by my lovely mother. And she would have too.
roseleyro@reddit
I had the opposite experience than many here. My mom was VERY open, not just about sex, but her own sex life, so I had no choice but to have the talk AND listen to her suggestions (like don't swallow and a cut penis just looks better). I really wish she didn't think I needed to hear all that.
More-Muffins-127@reddit
I had the talk three times. Once with mom at 13, once with dad at 20, and with grandma at 25. I stopped my dad because no, and grandma's was just funny. Picture Sophia from Golden Girls but not foul mouthed at all and with a heavy northern Italian accent. That was grandma. Her sage advice? When a man pulls up his pants, he's done. I miss her.
FeatherDust11@reddit
My Mom gave me the book ‘The Rules’ before I went to college in 1997. Does that count as a sex talk? 🤣
SharMarali@reddit
When I got my first boyfriend my mom just casually asked me “so they taught you about all that stuff in school right?” I said yes and she nodded and that was it. That was my talk.
the_silent_one1984@reddit
When I was in fourth grade, my school announced they were going to introduce sex ed in such-a-such a month, and all that. So my parents decided to preempt that with some tapes. This was back when they had Major Video with the curtain. The tape they rented was from behind that curtain. I was finally going to find out what kind of movies were behind the curtain.
It was a very matter-of-fact video, but in a cartoony way clearly meant for my age group. And it was every bit as awkward to watch with your mother as you could imagine. She fast forwarded through some of the more explicit bits she felt a 9 year old really doesn't need to know yet. Problem is, you know, this was VHS. Fast forwarding does nothing to hide what is going on. So imagine seeing the most insane jackhammer sex that would probably tear a girl apart if it was done as fast as it was.
The school was much more tame. They separated us by sex and then told us what changes we should expect in our bodies for the next few years. I really really wished they didn't separate us by sex. I get that you don't want too much embarrassment, and all that, but if they had told the boys what girls go through perhaps there'd be better understanding of that stuff instead of this cloak of mystery.
BreakfastBeerz@reddit
I walked in on my parents when I was 14. On the way to school that morning, my dad asked, "Do you know what you saw last night?". I said, "yup". He said, "Ok, good"
That was the entirety of any sex talk I've had with my parents
EatLard@reddit
My youngest daughter walked in on us when she was seven or eight. “Whaaaaaaaat??? Are you guys kissing?” Wife was on top of me and we were both naked above the sheets. Hope she forgot about it…
Lawrenceburntfish@reddit
I never did. My parents just flipped out when they figured out their 18 year old son was having sex and told me not to get anyone pregnant. That was it.
Available_Carob790@reddit
I was 10 in 5th grade. My bestie and all the girls at school were getting the talk and with the book. Oh hell no! I was mortified that my parents would soon be doing the same thing as all our parents were friends. I avoided my mom and couldn’t make eye contact with her for months😂😂😂💀
The talk never came.
Edit: my bestie (who was 2yrs older) was raped by her stepdad starting at age 5 and didn’t tell a teacher for 2 years. She went to live with her dad next door to me. Our dads weee best friends. She told me all about sex when I was 7 and I didn’t believe her. But ya woulda thought that horrific-ness that happened to her would have prompted my parents to educate me wtf. Instead, I was allowed to attend some therapy sessions with her
cancerdancer@reddit
never happened for me, but as a male raised by a single mother its more than excusable. I learned from TV.
scarred_but_whole@reddit
Never. All I ever got was "you can't date until you're married and I'll choose your husband for you," said only half-jokingly. I did find out that my aunt (her sister, parent to non-xennial children) never had "the talk" with any of her kids either. She gave the same reason my mom did, she felt her kids were smart enough to figure it out on their own. On the other hand, my xennial wife's mom did way too much talking to her about it (treating your kid as your bestie is gross). No happy medium, eh?
EatLard@reddit
My dad had an awkward conversation with me about which part goes where some time when I was in middle school. He had some book from the 70s with pictures of the jiggly bits and enormous bushes to illustrate his talk.
I’d already gone through sex ed in health class a couple times by then though.
The day before my wedding, he asked me if I knew about all the options for birth control. Bro, if it wasn’t for birth control, you’d have already been a grandpa several times over.
wintertash@reddit
I never had “the talk” but that’s because my parents’ approach to the topic of sex was that kids will ask questions, so they always answered my questions in an age appropriate way. They never said “we’ll talk about that when you’re older,” they instead figured if I was old enough to ask, I was old enough for an answer, geared to where I was intellectually/emotionally.
DMinTrainin@reddit
No talk, at all. But thankfully we had God schools thst taught swx ed from 5th grade through senior year.
ChalupaBatman616@reddit
Loveline was syndicated where I lived. That and the limited sex ed classes in school were all I got.
GargantuanGreenGoats@reddit
Never. They left it up to the school system. Cowards.
Available_Carob790@reddit
Thank god mine did that as well
indecisivesloth@reddit
My dad never said a single thing to me about it. My mom only ever said one time that "Sex begins in the kitchen", referring to the man doing his fair share of the chores. How I learned about it was from sex ed and the internet.
Markaes4@reddit
Lol, we never even got close to the subject. Cripes I talked more about it with my son by the age of 3 than my parents did to me by age 18.
Sporesword@reddit
I was already sexual active by the time one of them tried to initiate "the talk", she gave up after a few minutes.
Vilavek@reddit
I grew up with mormons so it was simply never discussed outside of us being instilled with crippling shame and anxiety about even being born sexual beings to begin with.
So I learned everything about human sexuality when I finally got internet access which both answered all my questions and helped me move forward past everyone elses insecurities about sex.
sapperbloggs@reddit
Mum sat me down one day and made me watch "Where did I come from?". That was literally the entirety of the talk I received from my parents.
Beginning-Cow6041@reddit
Not only did we not have that talk, we still haven’t talked about my dad moving out and my parents divorcing when I was 17. I’m 41 now 🤣
stykface@reddit
As a dude, my Mom gave me all the info when I was about 12. Complete word vomit of the entire subject at the dinner table. That's just how my mom was though... she's redhead and takes on that "firecracker" persona. My Dad was pretty hush about it... just "Don't get anyone pregnant" kind of remarks here or there.
Funny thing though... I was popular (socially) all through school but I never had the urge to chase tail even into my 20's. I didn't want to get laid, I wanted a girlfriend. Even in my 20s I didn't want to get laid I just wanted to meet my future wife. I'm a gym goer, always in shape and have played hockey since I was 10yrs old so I got a lot of attention but I didn't really start having sex until my first serious girlfriend at 23yrs old.
I had all the talks in sixth grade and all through middle school but never put it to any use lol. Weird how life works.
ewing666@reddit
no talk, only scream
jojocookiedough@reddit
Never had the talk. Didn't get a book either! I learned the bare bones (ha!) in school's sex ed in 5th grade.
Spectre_Mountain@reddit
It took me years to piece together the clues. No talk.
pinkstrawberrycandy@reddit
I received a book as well. My mom took me to the bookstore and bought it and just gave me the shopping bag with the book in it. Once a year or so she’d ask me if I read the book yet which was her way of asking if I’d started my period.
The book was only about puberty. Nothing about sex, sex was never discussed.
Background_Title_922@reddit
Nothing. I had a “life skills” class in the ninth grade that briefly covered some aspects (seems a little late) but by that point I had figured it out.
SweetCosmicPope@reddit
I never had the talk with my family either. We did do the optional sex ed class in school where we got told about all of that stuff.
When it came time to have the talk with my son, I went ahead and did that and it was incredibly awkward. Then we gave him a book with lots of answers to things he may not be comfortable asking us.
Ren-_-N-_-Stimpy@reddit
I'm fully rejecting the awkwardness around it. That was my parents generation. I'm embracing the shit out of it. My young kids have been coming to me as I have to them and it's a fluid discussion that just happens whenever.
SweetCosmicPope@reddit
I was definitely thorough, but it was just uncomfortable for both of us. I'll answer anything my son wants to ask me honestly, but I suspect he doesn't want to relive that (and neither do I, particularly).
Ren-_-N-_-Stimpy@reddit
Okay but treating it as an ongoing conversation that is breached both ways, those feelings of not wanting to relive it aren't ever there. The subject is vast, there's a lot to discuss at every developmental stage, we bridge the information they receive in school every year so that it is reinforced and we can add to it. I'm just over this taboo and Puritan stronghold over the subject that parts of society try to project when the reality doesn't match that at all. That's the part that's uncomfortable for me.
SweetCosmicPope@reddit
That actually makes a lot of sense and I like that approach.
Ren-_-N-_-Stimpy@reddit
I'm glad it struck a chord, never know how these conversations can go, parents and others have a spectrum of opinions on the matter. At the end of the day I like to think we all try to do the best by our kids and for a lot of us that involves challenge how we were raised. Parenting is hard as hell as it is! You seem like a good one homie, I appreciate the chat.
sneeria@reddit
heh. heh. fluid discussion.
Ren-_-N-_-Stimpy@reddit
exactly 😏
a-crimson-tree@reddit
That's the way! Honestly, this whole thing is just an extension of a culture that tries (and often succeeds) to getting everyone to hate their own bodies (and by extension hate or fetishize everyone else's). It makes no bloody sense! A body is a body. We all have them and they do stuff, which is cool but also sometimes messy. This is why we have indoor plumbing. People need to get over it and stop passing on insecurities.
kkcita@reddit
my parents never gave me "the talk". My mom told me about getting periods when I was like 10. When I actually got my first period when I was 11, I didn't even tell my mom because I felt so awkward about it. I just figured it out on my own, stealing my mom's supplies, but after a couple months I told her that I got my "first period" so she would get me my own pads and tampons. I didn't like asking my parents, especially my mom, for help.
NickelCitySaint@reddit
Nope.. not at all..
Writeforwhiskey@reddit
My siblings and I have gotten some version of the talk since I was 5. What the parts are, how babies are made, and then right about 13 it was sexual urges and consequences. My mom had one request. Could we at least wait until we were 18. She said she wouldn't be pissed it it was before, but at 18, we'd be adults and can be fully responsible for adult decisions. I waited until 19 (honestly could've waited longer, but oh well) and didn't get pregnant until 30.
pickleranger@reddit
Nope. Never once had a talk. Got “sex is only for married people.” Oh and “You should be ashamed of yourself for touching yourself there.”
Went to private schools so anything learned there was very minimal (got a health/periods talk, very little sex Ed).
Outrageous-Hold7484@reddit
Same. I also received a pamphlet about menstruation.
Freakin_A@reddit
My dad at some point said “how about sex? Anything you need to know about sex?” At the end of an unrelated conversation.
I said “nope!” And he said ok and left the room.
ZedGardner@reddit
My mom was great. We had several talks through my developmental years. I even asked her about specifics and she answered everything. I also went to a bunch of different (US - Texas, Tennessee, Virginia, and Maryland) schools and all of them had some sort of sex Ed as well.
This_Cruel_Joke@reddit
My parents taught me squat. I recently had a flood of unwanted emotions arise from all the shit my parents failed to do for me developmentally. I remember the day I tried to talk with my dad about girls. He was out back shooting hoops. I got the courage to approach him. He just froze and walked away
Apprehensive-Log8333@reddit
I got a pamphlet from Tampax when I turned 14. And was forced to promise that I wouldn't have sex before I was 18. I kept that promise, but from age 15 my mom was convinced I was having sex, even though I was not, and we argued about it all the time, because I "refused to tell the truth."
In unrelated news, we have been no contact nearly a decade now and my life has improved tremendously since then
Susinko@reddit
My mom kept me out of all sex education at school. She gave me a vague explanation of how things worked that was more confusing than not. It didn't turn out well.
drewcandraw@reddit
I grew up going to church every Sunday. I was taught by my parents, Sunday School teachers, and the youth pastor that sex was only for married people, and anyone who wasn't married that had sex was morally-depraved, empty, and damaged.
When I was about 7 or 8, my parents read me this book. My sister was born right before my 12th birthday and at some point during my mom's pregnancy, my parents showed my brother and me The Miracle of Life.
Through my preteen years, my parents would fast-forward through any sex or nudity in movies, with Top Gun being the first, when I was about 9. I ended up watching it in its entirety at some point in the next couple of days before it was returned to the video rental store. I always wondered what the fuss was over the blue light scene.
PositionHopeful8336@reddit
My dad took me on a road trip to have the “talk” with me… he consisted of a very awkward one line sometimes when a man and women love each other very much and they want to express that…. Oh look there’s an Arby’s there are you hungry?
And of conversation…
And then my babysitter heard about the “talk” and gave me her version of it..
which equally didn’t help she told me a bird and a bee get together, and they make a bird-bee 🤷♂️
Sadly, this all stemmed from watching the movie Bushwhacked with Daniel Stern (curly hair from home alone) which is a strange and specific trigger to inspire a parent to get ahead of things while also shielding the world.
The movie scene triggering such b discussion was Daniel stern giving a scout troop “the talk” with dolls… since I had seen that representation it was probably time for me to have the real deal, which I guess I never happened as we got something to eat and did not continue the conversation…
Give him credit he was probably early 30s and 38 no kids I don’t know when would be the right time maybe would be shortly after awkwardly watching a movie scene that he got and I didn’t…
here_we_go2324@reddit
There was no talk. Learned from my friends and tv. I was always waiting for it, but it never came. The closest I got was when my dad found a few Penthouse's in my room and told me he threw them away, but won't tell mom if I don't bring any more into the house lol
khumprp@reddit
Yep on the book! And for what it's worth, it's probably too late to have that talk.
slilianstrom@reddit
Never did. My school had a program with a local health museum where we went to their site, went to the sex Ed room that had light up diagrams and video screens.
3kidsnomoney---@reddit
My mom's talk consisted of telling me to just not have sex about two years too late. And she explained periods so bad I thought I got one a year! Thankfully our school sex ed was good and I listened to The Sunday Night Sex Show with headphones for the rest!
Avasia1717@reddit
my mom gave me the book "where did I come from" when i was in elementary school, which explained how babies are made. 7th grade health class went over how it works, plus STD's and stuff. my "talk" was my mom telling me sex is a sin and if i did it she'd kick me out of the house. not even if i got a girl pregnant, but if i just did it at all. my dad didn't tell me anything. years later he told me he just thought i'd figure it out. he always wondered why in four years of high school i only had a one girlfriend for a month and another for two weeks.
Legitimate_Bird_5712@reddit
Nope. All my knowledge was a shitty class in high school and whatever porno mags I could find in the woods.
Combatical@reddit
Never had it with my parents. My public school did.
Fun_Intention_5371@reddit
My mom's talk
"Wait until you're married"
Ftr I did NOT and I have no regrets.
Sorry mom
AlienDog496@reddit
When I was 12 my aunt told me, "Just wrap it up before you use it," and I've never forgotten.
BBallsagna@reddit
I never had the “talk” but also in my state we had pretty in depth sex education starting in the 4th/5th grade with the “these are the changes happening in your body” middle school was more “this is how babies are made” and AIDS/HIV type stuff. Highschool was actual sexual education mostly concentrating on pregnancy, diseases, etc.
prix03gt@reddit
My mother told me she had condoms and of i needed some, just ask. My father said literally nothing about anything. I had high school health class in catholic school. By the time that happened, I wasn't a virgin anymore. So, no, I had no talk....
mudson08@reddit
None. I didn’t even get a book, just sort of had to figure it out myself through trial and error 😬
AriaStarstone@reddit
My parents gave me a book and told me to ask them questions if I had any... Did the same with my brother.
Beyond that they made sure I understood how difficult teen pregnancy was (Mom worked for Social Services, she had plenty of stories that left me convinced I never wanted to risk it) and made sure I knew they supported my choices otherwise.
ModernMech7392@reddit
They tried but I was left thinking that the sperm came out of my dad and somehow travelled across the bed sheets on some great voyage to first locate and then enter the vagina.
sneezhousing@reddit (OP)
happyme321@reddit
My parents bought me a kid’s book, complete with illustrations
Revolutionary-Good22@reddit
My dad showed us a video that explained "the act" with a cartoon cross-section of vaguely male and female shapes and how the P went into the V.
Mind blown. I knew there was a "special "hug" or whatever and you would most likely be naked, in bed, and in the dark.
There were other cartoon scenes explaining puberty for both genders.
Glendale0839@reddit
They never said a word about it to me or gave me any information. At one point around age 13 I tried to ask my dad a question relating to it and he just changed the subject.
MommaOfManyCats@reddit
Ih man, my parents did not want to talk about sex at all. I think I was 24 when my mom finally admitted they had sex before marriage, and my dad was sooo upset she told me lol. I was dating an "older guy" and on the way home from the grocery store, my mom said my dad thought I needed to go on the pill. I agreed, and we didn't talk until we got home. She walked in, looked at him, said "you're right" and made thr appointment 😄
Putrid-Art-1559@reddit
Did we have the same parents? lol I came home from school one day and there was a book on my dresser. I remembered it used pictures of animals mating. Other than that nothing else was said.
tracyveronika@reddit
My mom had that book also. She only showed it to me when I was 15 and point blank asked her why she never gave me "the talk."
She admitted that she expected my sister, who was only 2 years older than I am, to inform me about most things related to sex and intimacy. Which of course she did, but that's still ridiculous. Boomer parents 😒😒
Spirited_String_1205@reddit
I had that book with the animals as well. Super awkward. No talk ever, though. Then a book about getting my period. And book about sex from a religious POV from some family member. I don't remember much about that one except a confusing illustration of a big dark cloud with the word 'masturbation' across it. Takeaway, sex bad, masturbation bad, Jesus good.
Then I read the Kinsey report after finding it in the town library when I was probably 12 or so. Everything I didn't know I needed to know, lol Rounded things out.
LordLaz1985@reddit
The only thing my parents told me about sex was “Use a condom.” They expected the school to teach me.
Fortunately, I graduated just before the state I lived in became an abstinence-only state, so I did actually have sex education at school.
WoodenWeather5931@reddit
Same here. Neither of my parents ever told me about sex. They never talked to me about dating. They never asked if I wanted to go to homecoming, prom, etc…. I didn’t know how to do those things, so I never did. Pretty bad parenting if you ask me.
Upvoteexpert@reddit
I got nothing! We moved between 6th and 7th grade. At my old school it was a 7th grade talk, new school district in another state it was a 6th grade talk. Totally thought sex was people touching each other with our hands for a while until a friend said something. I learned a little more during health class when I was a freshman.
ElonsEmeralds@reddit
I never had any talks with my parents except my mom screaming “We don’t approve of that in this household” after she walked in on me dick deep in my girlfriend when I was 14. That was it. Never mentioned sex or anything about it again
DamarsLastKanar@reddit
No talk. Went into early pr0n with a mindset of "okay, but what does an actual average vulva look like?"
I can seriously see how some guys raises on pr0n don't turn out okay.
Pineapple-Due@reddit
I mean the joke was that the TV was my parents and I had the talk from Cinemax so I guess that counts?
Impossible_Knee8364@reddit
I got 'the 'talk' when I was 10 or 1, mildly traumatic, but not terrible.
The problem came a few years later when I got an 'its ok if you're gay' talk. For reference, my entire family is staunch LDS(Mormon), and apparently I was giving 'signs'. This conversation, however intentioned it may have been, was horribly detrimental to the point of shoving me so far back and deep in the closet that I emulated some of the most toxic masculine traits to an extreme. It was about 25 or so years later before I was able to come out, not just in accepting and loving myself, but being open about who I am with everyone else. The negative results of that 'its ok if you're gay' talk were so extreme that I spent a ton of time in therapy, on meds for various mental health disorders, hating and hiding myself, and being generally unhappy and unhealthy overall. Being able to love and accept myself, and come out as who I really am did so much more for my physical and mental health than all the therapy and medication I took over the years combined. For reference, I was on mood stabilizers and anti-psychotics for a long time, since coming out 5 years ago, I don't take any mental health meds, and I'm doing better mentally than I ever have. My moods are stable, highs and lows in a normal range in line with life's events; I'm not suicidal, I used to sleep everyday with a silent prayer I wouldn't wake up; I actually enjoy the vast majority of life now rather than fearing and hating it, I used to have so much anxiety I couldn't do a lot of what I wanted, including some basic life functions.
Logical_not@reddit
My Dad made the mistake of trying to get it over with by putting me and my 2 brothers together for one talk. He got nowhere before we all burst out laughing, and he was done.
Munk45@reddit
My parents were very good about teaching/warning against child molesters, kidnappers, drugs, etc
They were ok but uncomfortable talking about sex beyond the basics.
BUT- they were approachable and I knew they were always on my side.
Not a perfect approach, but genuine and honest.
They did fine enough for me to know I should do better.
YinzaJagoff@reddit
I didn’t, and when my parents found out I lost my virginity at 15, they were not happy (and my dad actually cried).
They also assumed I was pregnant when I wasn’t and said they’d kick me out if I didn’t have an abortion, so there’s that as well.
Ms_Rarity@reddit
Nope. They never mentioned it to me and I never mentioned it to them, thank God.
My dad was a shithead about my period starting and my mom wasn't great either, so I can only imagine how a sex talk would have gone over.
I learned everything I needed to know from books (that I looked up myself) and sex ed in school.
Incidentally, my HFA 11yo recently had a freak-out about sex and the onset of adolescence. After gently trying to talk to him about it and assuring him his step-father and I would always be safe people to talk to, I got him a book, which helped him a lot.
TraditionalResult655@reddit
When my mom finally broached the topic, I was like: ”mom I've already been doing that since I was sixteen” and she looked a little sheepish.
Mind-of-Jaxon@reddit
My entire “ talk “ went like this. Me ( shy, few friends, never had a gf, never been kissed.) Dad: (opens my bedroom door) your mom wants to make sure you know to use protection. Me: I- I know. Dad: okay….. good ( closes bedroom door)
That was it.
On a different note… I really wish I had the childhood and HS experience my mom imagined I did. Talk about always believing in me.
PostTurtle84@reddit
We started sex ed in 3rd or 4th grade in Washington state. Mom and dad just said to feel free to ask them if I had any questions, but they were THRILLED that the school was going to handle it.
Unfortunately now I live in Kentucky with my spouse and our spawn and the school district doesn't teach ANY sex ed until 11th grade and even then it's abstinence.
So I'm going to have to have a chat with the kid. But I did find a 3 week online home school program that was put together by an RN that covers everything, so I'm also going to make the spawn do that just to make sure I don't forget anything. We can NOT wait until 11th grade.
Sweet_Priority_819@reddit
School talked about it so there wasn't a need to talk with a parent. Nor would I have wanted to talk to my parents about sex.
jwosher11@reddit
I am also 44 and never had "the talk", i learned everything on the playground from the older kids.
jb0nez95@reddit
I think I might have learned from reading Judy Blume books.
BoneWhiteHaze@reddit
I got a book too! My mom got it from the library when I was in the 4th grade, after I asked her exactly how did my little brother got in her stomach. She was very pregnant and folding laundry. I shocked her with my question I guess, and she exclaimed, “What do you wanna know that for?!” and she looked kinda mad, and she genuinely freaked me out, like I’d asked something wrong. My mom is… weird.
Anyway, I was told not to bring the book to school or to show anyone. It was a book with dry explanations and black & white line drawings of people having sex with blank expressions, but they were also essentially severed in half so you could “see” exactly what’s going on with the man lying on top of the woman etc. Like cross sections diagrams. 😂
Man, I’d love to see that book again but I have absolutely no idea what it was called or anything. My mother is still… weird. That’s the nice word to use lol.
Key-Tell-4345@reddit
I ain’t even get a book
VioletVenable@reddit
That was basically how I got “the talk,” too. My parents just left a book where they knew I’d find it.
Honestly, it was exactly the right approach for me — a very private and easily embarrassed kid who would’ve just begged for the talk to stop.
That being said, my mom also taught me all the proper names for my parts (all my parts) when I was a toddler. And I always knew I could tell or ask my parents anything, even though I never did.
amanda_sac_town@reddit
Lmao my mom asked me at 26sh if use condoms and that was it...The talk? Smh how about showing ANY emotional warmth first...
SalukiKnightX@reddit
Closest to having the talk involved putting both putting a condom over a foot long MagLite and discussing that if you don’t pay attention to who you’re with you could end up with a severely autistic child (personified by my older sibling).
And my parents wondered why I never was in a rush to have sex, let alone have children.
siamesecat1935@reddit
Never. I pretty much learned everything by reading! I read anything I could get my hands on! hahaha And still knew more than a lot of my peers!
giraffemoo@reddit
My mom found out I was sexually active when my boyfriend at the time made a joke about sex in her presence and she figured it out. She didn't talk to me about anything, didn't ask me if I had questions or concerns, just took me to the gyno to get on birth control. I found out years later through family gossip that my mom had an abortion when she was only 16, which was why she wanted me on birth control. She never told me this herself.
Rockdad37@reddit
The talk I got from my dad, verbatim: "Just remember, the worst name anyone can call you in high school is 'daddy'". I think that counts...
ButterscotchAware402@reddit
I (40f) was just having this conversation with my husband (41m). His oldest daughter is not far from 13, and puberty is really kicking in. She's with bio-mom and step-dad the majority of the time. She and her sister are a little sheltered, and we were talking about if they'd had the talk or if it was just going to be left to school. Anyway... he was saying he could still remember how awkward it was having the talk with his parents, and it occurred to me that I have zero recollection of ever having the talk. I know I had a very detailed, lengthy, dry book about the body and sex when I was that age, but I think that was all I got.
d00mslinger@reddit
School had a sex ed class when I was in elementary. I remember my dad being upset about it, but we also didn't talk about "those things" so it's not like they took his opportunity. I was just supposed to figure it out when I got married. I should mention that my parents were from the silent generation.
peekaboooobakeep@reddit
I haven't told my mom I've kissed a boy yet.... I'm married with 2 kids, so she might be getting wise to it.
Zero talks whatsoever and I had a Catholic teen mother
Mr_Shizer@reddit
Nope, I did once have my Mom yell at me violently hoping I wore a condom after I hung out with a girl once. I think I held her hand and maybe gave her a kiss. That was the first time my Mother found out, I was hanging out with people that were not just my friends. To say my Mother was emotionally and verbally abusive would be an understatement. I honestly believe she invented the sport.
Narrow_Garbage_3475@reddit
Never talked about it with my parents as well. Also didn’t get a book, pamflet or anything other that would help me.
Found some porn tapes at my aunt and uncle’s place and that was my education when I was 11 years old.
My first girlfriend was 18, I just turned 15. She was experienced, I was not, she taught me most of the things.
I had to learn it the hard way I guess 😜
cranberries87@reddit
My mom SWEARS we had “the talk”. And she’s so proud of it, I’ve even heard her tell other people she told me everything I needed to know. In reality, she mentioned while driving one day, “Well if you get in a relationship in college and it gets serious, you can just get on the pill.” That was it, nothing else.
Disastrous-Wing699@reddit
When I got my first period, my mother got me a card and a bouquet of flowers. That's as close as I ever got to any kind of 'talk' with either parent. I did get sex ed in grade 9 that seemed pretty standard to what they show on TV: condom on banana, everyone too shy to ask questions, led by a gym teacher who'd rather be doing anything else.
Gian_Luck_Pickerd@reddit
I didn't have any real sex education, either at home or at school. Being at Catholic school in K-12 the only sex ed we had boiled down to "Anything outside of marriage is hard, mmkay?" Hell, until I was like 20, I thought scratching jock itch was what masturbation was
Kenneth_Lay@reddit
I was raised in one of those weirdo religious families so my "talk" was outsourced in the form of a cassette tape series by Dr. James Dobson. My dad and I stayed at a local hotel for a "guys weekend". It was weird.
Omnibuschris@reddit
I did not. Catholic Sunday school, 7th grade health class and woods porn was my sex education.
Cold_Barber_4761@reddit
There was a conservative, evangelical Christian book on my bed about waiting for marriage and "knowing my value as a woman" in a "godless" world. I was also sent to conservative Christian school for K-12, so everything we were taught was abstinence only, not actual safe sex education. It was so gross.
I'm now a huge advocate for actual sex education for kids and teens!
fer_sure@reddit
My mom was a public health nurse. I had an age-appropriate version 1 of 'the talk' when I was 5, with subsequent revisions as I got older.
dstarpro@reddit
We didn't have "the talk" per se, my mother just answered my questions frankly as I asked them. Also, we had sex at.
babaganoosh30@reddit
When I was 7, I asked my mom why there was so much sex on TV. I didn't know what sex was, i think I was parroting something I saw on the news.
My parents' reaction was to go to the public library and rent a stack of tapes on sex education, sit me down, and make me watch them.
When I wouldn't stop crying, they realized they made a mistake.
CheesyRomantic@reddit
0 talks with my parents.
When I got my period I didn’t even know that’s what it was.
When I got my period, which I discovered I had it in a very embarrassing way…. My sister (who is a decade older than me) gave me a book that was written in the 1960s or 1970s I think.
I never had any sex talk with anyone.
I figured things out on my own…. Often times much later than my peer group.
slowdaygames@reddit
I was just handed a series of books on sex and reproduction and told to read them. No talk whatsoever.
Steve_o_3000@reddit
Never had the talk, but my dad did leave a porn VHS in the VCR once. I stole that shit and blamed my brother. That tape tied up anything I missed during sex-ed.
sauvandrew@reddit
Nope. Never did.
innkeepergazelle@reddit
Mom said, "Don't let boys touch your bathing suit parts." And that was pretty much it.
LeonardSchmaltzstein@reddit
I'm forty-three years old, and my sex talk with my dad went just like this. Driving to catholic mass on a Saturday afternoon.
Out of the blue.... Dad "Do you know what a mortal sin is?" Me "Killing somebody, right?" Dad "Yeah, and uh, committing a sexual act with yourself."
Silence the rest of the car ride, and that was it. No follow-up or anything. What a bunch of bullshit to dump on your 12 year old. This was like maybe a week after I saw my parents fucking. It was awful and uncomfortable. Tell them they are going to hell for jerking off. Maybe he could've said something like it is a normal thing to do an everyone does it. Don't feel ashamed. What an asshole for this.
Crafty-Gain-6542@reddit
I got nothing until two weeks ago, I’m 43 and married btw. I’m not making this up, either.
My dad sits me and says, we’ve never had the talk.
I respond with, I think we are a little late for that one. I’m 43, married, she’s not my first, and don’t have any kids. I think I have a may idea of what’s going on.
Wild.
We were really conservative when I was growing up fortunately, the school system I was had an okay program for kids.
PumpkinSpice2Nice@reddit
Am from NZ and my late parents never had the talk with me. I suppose they just thought the school would do it and left it at that. Never even left me a book or anything and they used to change the channel if anything came onto the tv that looked like it was going in a remotely sexual direction. That was very frustrating when I was watching a program with them and they would suddenly do that or turn around and say ‘right - bed time’ and I was like 16 and knew about sex and everything (from school).
SerpentineSorceror@reddit
Welp, fifth grade health class, issues of National Geographic, episodes of NOVA on PBS, a copy of Grey's Anatomy, random Playboys belonging to my uncle Shawn, and HBO late night adult programming beat anything my parents might have said in terms of my education. And when it came to my parental figures talking about, it was really only my Nann (mom's mom) who actually talked with me about it, explained what condoms were and how to use and that if I needed any at any point just tell her. My Dad attempted some sort of father-son talk when I was entering high school, which just turned into "Conform to my expectations as a Heterosexual Catholic Mechanic living in the Rustbelt, or else you'll be sent to the priesthood". So yeah, that failed HILARIOUSLY. Mom? HA! Never brought it up.
egomechanics@reddit
My mom made sure I knew all about the biological processes from 3 years and up - proper names, puberty stuff, how babies were made etc. 10/10 there.
What I never got was a conversation about the emotional side of sex - how it can fuck with your emotions, how people sometimes use it to manipulate, how having sex with someone can accelerate feelings that might not have become that serious without it etc.
Omukiak@reddit
"The Talk" always seems weird to me. I live in a country where sex ed is thought from grade two at school, and with regular intervals up until high school. There are even story books for toddlers explaining these things. By the time kids reach their teens, they have a very good understanding of these things. I doubt my parents could do it any better.
thorsbeardexpress@reddit
No talk. 0. I was told not to get a girl knocked up. That's it.
Nightstone42@reddit
I didn't and just to make that fact. Even stranger, my dad was a registered nurse. you'd think a parent in the medical field would do that
UnknownPrimate@reddit
No, we had animals and watched a lot of nature documentaries. There was no mystery, we just never talked about it. There was definitely shock/revelation when I realized to apply that to people, but that was all internal. I do remember one time as a teenager when my neighbor, who was 5 years younger, who's parents were both veterans was asking me about it. I asked if he knew how animals did it, and I was just flabbergasted when he didn't.
Dada2fish@reddit
My older sister saw a film with her class, but for some reason I never got to see it.
They gave my sister and the other girls in her class a box with tampon and pad samples as well as other things.
When I woke up to see blood on my sheets I knew what it meant. I was embarrassed to tell my mom, but knew she’d see the sheets eventually, so when she walked by my room I called her in to show her.
All she said was, “Do you know what to do?” I lied and said yes. I knew enough to get a pad from my sister’s sample box and figured it out by reading the back of the box.
I wish I was told how to keep track of my periods, to keep a pair of underwear and old sweats in my school locker in case of accidents.
I learned about periods, my body and sex the hard way.
heresmytwopence@reddit
You got a book’s worth of sex education more than I got.
GrandPipe4@reddit
My mom put an illustrated book called "Period." on my desk one day, a year after I got my period and had been buying my own stuff that whole time. That was the talk.
MartyFreeze@reddit
My parents did a horrible job with providing me any life lessons or knowledge. Anything I learned from them was from observing their actions and learning what not to do.
Otherwise, I never wanted for anything but also never learned how to improve my situation.
Happy_dancer1982@reddit
I didn’t. But at the request of my partner and with approval from the kids’ mum, I’m about to have one with my 16 and 13yo stepdaughters. Omg.
Sweet_Bang_Tube@reddit
Why isn't their mum doing it, is she just throwing you under the bus so she doesn't have to approach it with her own kids?
Justincrediballs@reddit
We never did as a kid, now we don't talk much, but sometimes it veers in a weird direction, sometimes that direction is sex lives.
1980powder1980@reddit
FUCK JOHN ENGLER
Express-Structure480@reddit
The talk consisted of a single phrase from my mom, “wear a condom,” and that was it.
Trick-Caterpillar299@reddit
I was leaving my house to hang out with my boyfriend when I was 16, and my mom said "don't have sex tonight, I had a dream that you were pregnant".
I had already been having sex for two years by that time.
AlaeniaFeild@reddit
I don't even remember the first sex talk as I was too young. As I got older I was told that recreating was the purpose of life. Not that we had to have kids, but that it was the purpose of any species. Then came the flavoured condom talk. In front of my friends. There were some sex scenes in movies that I squirmed at so Mum asked, "What do you think Dad and I do in the bedroom?' while Dad tried to disappear into the void. Mom spent a lot of time telling us (all girls btw) that we had to have sex before marriage so that we would know if we were sexually compatible.
You would never think my Mum would be like this, she is mostly proper British, but sex is/was her thing.
DON'T TELL YOUR TEENAGERS THAT THE PURPOSE OF LIFE IS TO HAVE SEX WITHOUT MAKING SURE THEY HAVE BIRTH CONTROL!!!
Noisechild@reddit
May parents version of “the talk” was.. “don’t do it in your car” and.. if you ash your cigarettes outside the I die, make sure the ashes don’t fly out the window. It’s amazing that me or my siblings never got pregnant, and none of us smoke.
MetaverseLiz@reddit
My mom talked to me about getting my period, but handed me a book about sex. It was a Christian book that answered none of my questions. I ended up asking my friend for the book her parents gave her (this was before the Internet).
Had I had the Internet then, I would have been more informed. As it was, I never wanted kids. I made it a point to know how to NOT get pregnant, so I probably looked up more information than the typical kid my age.
My parents didn't talk about feelings or relationships, and we're incredibly conflict avoidant. I learned nothing about healthy relationships from them.
malarckee@reddit
This was literally my experience!! I wonder if it was the same damn book. I fortunately had decent sex Ed in school.
SourcePrevious3095@reddit
My "talk" with my parents was "You're smart, don't do something stupid."
CheeseSweats@reddit
I never had any kind of talk, I'm pretty sure my mom just expected school to take care of that. TBH, I preferred it this way. I used to anticipate "the talk" because you see it in media, but it was not something I was looking forward to.
PolicyGlass7892@reddit
Seriously are we the same person because this is exactly what happened to me. I was expected to educate myself about sex.
larryjrich@reddit
Never got the talk from my parents although my older siblings did. I went to school in California and in my district sex ed was required for 6th, 8th, and 10th grades. I learned more from that then I would have gotten from my parents anyways.
bootsie79@reddit
I credit V.C. Andrews for my sex ed. I read Flowers in the Attic at age 12 and was forever changed
The people that raised me never spoke of sexual health other than hollering to “not get pregnant!”
Luna_Soma@reddit
When I was in middle school, my friend and I wanted to watch a scary movie. My very conservative parents wouldn’t let us rent R rated movies so we went for something that looked scary and was PG-13… flowers in the attic.
I bet my parents wished we’d rented nightmare on elm street instead
bootsie79@reddit
I bet! That movie was a trip
The movie-was it the one with the ending v different from the book? (The childrens’ mother does not die in the book). I know Lifetime remade then a decade ago or so
KaliCalamity@reddit
Never got the sex talk, but I got the drug talks from my dad. Thanks to him and his life choices, the only thing I was ever interested in was pot.
tevamom99@reddit
I asked my parents where babies came from and got a children’s picture book called “Where Did I Come From?” for Valentine’s Day when I was in the 1st grade. Then sometime in jr high my mom gave me a book about puberty for girls. Then she tried to have a safe sex talk with me after she found a condom wrapper in my room when I was newly 18 and had just started doing it. I laughed and told her it was too late. Then they took me to college and my mom waited til my dad left and handed me a mega pack of Trojans and said, “sometimes guys come unprepared”.
When I was 19 or 20 my dad and I were driving back to college and he told me not to settle down or get married til I had a lot of sex and made sure that I liked having sex with whoever I was with 🤣🫠
My husband grew up Catholic and got no talks🤣
I learned a fair amount in school sex ed too.
Basterd13@reddit
The talk I had with my dad when I was about 15. He told me to "Keep your pecker in your pants or it would ruin your life." That's a direct quote and the entirety of the conversation.
cecil021@reddit
Mine waited too long to do it. I went to public school, lol. I just told them I already knew what I needed to know.
toootired2care@reddit
My mom's sex talk was don't do IT! I was 10 and had no idea what it was.
9thgrave@reddit
I was left to figure things out for myself. Mom wasn't around, and my father was weird about sexuality. He'd crack juvenile sex jokes around us kids but then act like it was something shameful for us to ask questions about. Thankfully, my state's school curriculum had substantial sex ed and personal health courses to pick up the slack.
this_works_now@reddit
I had a video about puberty around fifth grade followed by a "don't have sex until you're married" statement without an explanation on what sex even was. I took sex ed in middle school but by that point I had figured most things out from friends, Danielle Steele novels, and someone's dad's porn stash.
JASCO47@reddit
I never got the talk, I figured most of it out from when TLC was actually about learning.
kace66@reddit
I got a book on puberty with very little about sex. Nothing else was discussed. Any further comment from me was answered with referencing my book ownership.
deadkate@reddit
I was twelve or thirteen. I went to a presentation about AIDS in a nearby school and got quizzed by my mom about how it's transmitted. I answered EVERY OTHER WAY until I had no choice, yelled "SEX!!" and ran to my room to cry.
That was my sex talk.
Mountain-Status569@reddit
I had a book magically appear too!
But I think it was more about me than my parents. I was painfully shy and introverted and also a big reader. I think I would have died if my mom tried to have “the talk” with me. Bless her for knowing!
Deesmateen@reddit
I never had the talk. Just 3 older sisters who could’ve used the talk before their senior year
Also my wife never had the talk, on our wedding day my MIL snuck before she woke up and threw a 70s book about sex
Nonsenseinabag@reddit
My parents ran an adult toy and clothing business, so there wasn't much mystery left by the time my hormones started kicking in.
vexatious83@reddit
My only "talk" was with my mom... she told me at 14 if I got a girl pregnant she'd cut it off
Internal-Disaster-61@reddit
Got dropped off at college by my father and as I walked away he said, "There are condoms in your care package. Use them."
Does that count?
mix0logist@reddit
Barely. They borrowed a 3-2-1 Contact sex ed video from the library, made me watch it, and then asked if I had any questions.
InStilettosForMiles@reddit
The talk I got was this:
Mom finds menstrual products in my closet after I've already had my period for two years
Mom: Do you know what these are for? Me: Yup. Mom: K.
And about sex... music video for Shut Up (And Sleep With Me) by Sin With Sebastian comes on TV
Dad: Don't ever go out with a guy who says this to you. Me: K.
Dan_Berg@reddit
They had father-son and mother-daughter night in 5th grade where they kind of went over the anatomy and changes that were about to take place. Walking out my dad went "any questions?" It seemed kind of cut and dry and I was still trying to wrap my head around it all, so I said no, and that was it. Not another word was spoken about puberty and sex from there on out.
OpenEyz2016@reddit
Grew up in a single parent household. Did NOT have that talk with my mom. I learned about sex through Skinemax, and those raunchy books my mom had hidden in the closet. Some of the things I was reading!!!!! 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵
thatpuzzlecunt@reddit
my parents didn't teach me anything about sex, they didn't teach me much of anything I might need to know as an adult. they were a great example however of how not to be an adult
lorenzo463@reddit
My dad’s version was “keep your pants on,” full stop. I basically had to figure it out through dirty jokes, and finally had a unit in school when I was 13.
(If you’re wondering how “the talk” worked- my brother lost his virginity and had his first pregnancy scare at 15. I was totally embarrassed and ashamed about sex, and stumbled through a few drunk hookups in college before finally having PIV sex in a one-night-stand at age 27. Do the right thing and normalize sex, folks.
The bright side is that I finally got over the shame, and I’m living a happy, sex positive, polyamorous existence today.)
Specialist-Funny-926@reddit
When I started my period my mom got mad at me, and accused me of having been raped. She assumed that I was bleeding because I had been SA'd. My sister and I had to convince her that nothing of the sort had happened to me, and I had just started my period. She stayed mad at me and then just told me, "Don't let boys touch you, because you can get pregnant now." That was it.
skeptical_hope@reddit
My folks did this and I was actually so grateful, I would have crawled out of my skin having to actually talk about it with them. The book was super good and progressive, and did the job better than they would have. (We also had age appropriate sex ed in school from 4th grade on, and i was better prepared than my peers thanks to the Book).
[For those curious, it was "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives" and it was written by the same folks who wrote "Our Bodies, Ourselves." Very progressive for the era].
Pale_Macaron_7014@reddit
Still waiting over here.
I’ve had an ongoing ‘talk’ with my kids since they were little. I’m a biologist so I’m straightforward about it and probably make it all sound boring af.
HortonHearsTheWho@reddit
Fascinating to see these responses. I grew up in a hardcore Catholic household … and we had the talk around 3rd or 4th grade … and it was pretty bog standard, or as I imagine it. Me and my dad are both science nerds so it was probably a little more biology oriented than it might have been. But I can safely say it was the most mutually miserable 15 minutes we ever spent together.
Ok_Researcher_9796@reddit
I never did, but I figured it out eventually.
alieninhumanskin10@reddit
No, not really. I learned the extent of sex in 6th grade from my friends (who learned what they knew from porn)
LetsHookUpSF@reddit
I got, "of you're going to be screwing around, use a condom. "
simononandon@reddit
Me & my sister found a weird little "zine," for lack of a better word, called How To Talk To Your 14 Year Old About Sex, or something really imaginative like that. It was seriously one step-above having been printed at Kinko's (before Kino's existed): Brown pebbled card stock cover with yellow illustration, B&W with line drawings inside.
I remember me & my sister finding it, laughing at it, and going back to revisit it repeatedly. Then eventually "graduating" to things like encyclopedia entries & "science" books. I do NOT ever remember my mom or my dad ever mentioning the book, or sex in general, in front of us.
I DO remember when John Holmes died of AIDS & there was a story about it on the morning news (which we watched with breakfast), my mom just reached over to the TV & turned the volume down without even looking at it. At that point, I knew about sex, had been exposed to porn, and was aware of AIDS. So, everything in that new story that she was "protecting" me from, I already knew.
Pawsacrossamerica@reddit
Never happened. I never had a period talk with my mom either. It’s so sad when I look back on that.
TBShaw17@reddit
Divorced parents so mom thought she had to do it…So at 14…I was a late bloomer so YEARS before I’d get a gf she told me “I’m too young to be a grandma.” That was it. At 16, my dad gave me his version and it was again one sentence “Candy’s dandy, but liquor’s quicker.” Great parenting…
Flash forward to me being a college senior and with my eventual wife. When we visited my hometown, we stayed with my future in-laws because they had the space. My room was taken by a younger brother the day I moved to college. My mom is basically begging us to stay there and she offered us her bed and she’d sleep on the couch. 🤮…I think being a single parent made her do a 180 on how soon she was wanting grandchildren.
primabelladonna35@reddit
My "talk" with my parents happened when I was 17 and my parents had just discovered some unsettling information from my sister's diary (she was 15,/16)
The talk was with my dad, and went thusly. "I don't know if you're doing anything. I don't really want to know. But if you do, I hope you're protecting yourself and being safe."
My response - I'm not, and I would if I were.
Great talk.
Adrasteia-One@reddit
I didn't. Health class in school covered all of that, so I was fine with it.
Mindless_Homework@reddit
A lot of my classmates were Mennonite in high school. In middle school I was living in the city and we had a very mild watch this video about periods day and that was about it. I have two boys. Youngest is 12. He has gotten the talk, extended version. He also will ask questions and I honestly answer. I was very unprepared.
VacationLizLemon@reddit
My pediatrician gave me a book at my 12 Year old checkup and my mother threw it away. Zero discussion about sex. Was raised VERY Southern Baptist. Had to figure it out for myself.
Comfortable-nerve78@reddit
I was lucky if they paid the rent. Life growing up with addicts for parents. 😂 so no they didn’t even teach me about budgeting money let alone talk about real issues.
ee-5e-ae-fb-f6-3c@reddit
I figured it out from a bunch of books on the livingroom book shelf. My mom did try to give me the "it's ok if you're gay" speech, which was sweet of her, especially considering how religious she was.
I'm fine with it.
Maanzacorian@reddit
I had the porn talk, but not the sex one. I'm not even sure my parents even had sex, me and my siblings came out of holes in the ground or something. You can't imagine 2 people having less chemistry.
I intend to be frank with my own kids. They deserve to know the reality of it, and I don't want them learning a bunch of bullshit from their dumbass friends. I also want them to be comfortable enough to approach us with questions when they inevitably have them. There's enough bullshit out there, I don't need them corrupted by it.
lostinmississippi84@reddit
My talk consisted of my dad finding out I lost my virginity, throwing a box of condoms at me and saying, "if you're going to be a dumbass at least use these"
Boring_Pace5158@reddit
My parents are Indian immigrants, so NO. In high school they tell you not to date, but the day after you graduate college, they expect you to get married. My friends’ parents told me more about sex than my parents ever did.
Original1620@reddit
Never did have that talk and I think it was partly having silent gen parents having me way later in life whereas most of my peers had boomer parents. Sex ed in the 6th grade and then again 9th was where I learned most of everything i knew during the teen years. But it wasn’t enough since I remember I had tons of questions through the high school years about anatomy and sexuality that weren’t answered during those sex ed classes, partly because I was too embarrassed to ask my question in front of the class.
Inspect1234@reddit
My dad bought me the Dr Talks books. Basic biology for pre-teens and teens.
DarthBster@reddit
Mine was "keep it in your pants unless you've got a rubber."
I had sex Ed in 7th grade and had a book written in the 70's called "Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Sex but were afraid to ask." And skinemax porn. Lol.
Current-Yoghurt-7870@reddit
Same. Grew up in a Midwestern Catholic emotionally constipated household, so to be fair we didn’t talk about anything related to feelings or bodily functions in general. One day walked into my room to find a book ‘How to talk to your teens about sex’ placed on my dresser. No follow-up of course.
Starwarsandbacon@reddit
My parents read the book to me when i was 6 or 7. I think id started playing doctor with a couple girls from school just before that. Only other discussion we ever had was about how masturbation would cause repressed memories when I was 12. That one fucked me up for nearly 30 years.
Dont make your kids feel guilty about exploring their bodies!
over_the_pants_party@reddit
My stepdad told me: "wrap that rascal"
That was about it.
deowolf@reddit
"Get some rubbers, keep them in the center console."
kaffee_ist_gut@reddit
Same. My mother said, "Make sure you use a condom," and that was all. I was 22. Thankfully, I didn't need her to tell me that. 🫠
kitten_pawz@reddit
My parents never had a "sex talk" with me, but made it clear that I'd be on my own if I got pregnant in high school or college. I was supposed to wait until I was married to engage in anything on the spectrum of sexual activities. My mom did have a brief talk with me about getting my period, though, which amounted to showing me where she kept pads and paging through a cartoon booklet from the school nurse. My mom was a kindergarten and first grade teacher and my dad was a county health commissioner.
AfternoonPast3324@reddit
We did sex ed in, I think, 6th grade. I also had “the talk” from countless sitcom dads and some moms. But my single mother never said a word to me about it.
Evillunamoth@reddit
I got a book tossed on my bed. It had some crazy cartoon explanations.
Few_Marionberry5824@reddit
Haha no, never. I can't even imagine.
rjcpl@reddit
Just a “do you have any questions” after a school sex ed class.
Active_Cherry_32@reddit
Nope. Real sex on HBO explained everything to me at 9/10.
ReflectionOld1208@reddit
Never had the talk about sex, or even periods. For periods, I figured it out from my older sisters (I started before the school bit).
For sex…honestly I learned all I know from the internet, which we didn’t have until I was 17. I was at least 16 before I realized that a penis goes inside a vagina. Yeah, I was clueless and sheltered!!
EfficientAd9230@reddit
No, but she did tell me about periods because my sister had hidden hers.
Luna_Soma@reddit
My very Catholic parents gave me the talk of “boys might want to touch you. Don’t let them” when I was 14.
They were already too late and I ended up learning everything I know about contraception and sex from my friends and Loveline as time went on.
tacitjane@reddit
My dad tried. He told me it should feel good. I said ew, stop talking!
postitpad@reddit
‘They teach you this stuff in school these days right?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Oh thank goodness’
Sorry_Consequence816@reddit
5th grade, we were in Louisiana at the time for my Dad’s work. It was the last day before spring break, we were having a Mardi Gras party. All the girls were taken to a classroom and told about periods and what not. All the boys kept having fun and stole all our candy while we were gone.
That was the extent of it until high school. Then we had one day of sex-ed someone threw the example diaphragm on my desk. It startled me and I accidentally frisbeed it across the room.
DustedGorilla82@reddit
I was the youngest of 4 I remember my older sister telling me about sex in 3rd grade. That and the standard sex Ed in school so I never had the y’all either.
flipnitch@reddit
My dad said;
“Do you know about the birds and the bees? In the winter…birds fly south and bees freeze to death. If you get someone pregnant before you graduate you better go thousands of miles away otherwise I’ll kill ya”…and then just walked away🤣
GelflingMama@reddit
I did have the talk with my mom because she was a nurse, she just laid it out like we were talking about a grocery list. 😂
-Fahrenheit-@reddit
No, never. Closest was when my racist PoS father told my sister and me to never bring home a n*****.
Now he tells my brother that his wife is raising their children too liberal, my sister that her kids are going to hell because she didn't baptize them, and blames my wife for us not having children even though it was a mutual decision.
Ag1980ag@reddit
Outside of the obligatory 5th grade “this is why your body is changing” video and booklet, nothing. My mom came from a prudish Catholic family and my dad was the son of WWII refugees, so I am certain neither of them had any talk that they could have relied on for reference.
someguyfromsk@reddit
My parents had a series of old tapes talking about it all, I think we only ever did one side of one on a road trip with Dad.
We had sex ed in school. It gave a weak understanding of the biology of it, then pushed abstinence hard but "if you have to, wear a condom because STD's are a thing"
jayne-eerie@reddit
My parents signed off for me to take sex ed at school, so I at least had that.
In terms of actual discussions? One time when I was 16 I asked my mom if she had sex before marriage, and she said, “I would never ask your grandmother that,” and that was the end of the conversation. My dad probably would have been even more awkward.
NotRadTrad05@reddit
You at least got a book. Most of what we knew came from the older brothers of a couple friends.
MinusGovernment@reddit
The closest thing I had to it was my mom getting a book from the library on STDs after I got my first hickey.
andrewclarkson@reddit
I knew a biology textbook definition of how babies were made probably by around 1st grade. I know I was informed that getting someone pregnant before marriage was very bad and life ruining. I don't think there was ever an explicit 'talk' though.
HurricaneHarley13@reddit
Nope. My mom bought a book and left it on my bed 🤣
SissyWasHere@reddit
Me! And my husband! Like nothing, ever. My parents are silent generation. My husband’s parents are boomers. Bold of them to then ask us when we are going to start popping out babies.
Status_Entrepreneur4@reddit
Closest thing I had were stories from my older brother and plenty of magazines and hardcore porn we snuck from satellite TV because my parents were clueless
HermioneMarch@reddit
My mom told me about puberty once it was obvious I was in the throes. But not actual sex. Just, oh you’re a woman now so you can get pregnant. Don’t.
jblak23@reddit
I was given a children's book, "So That's Where Babies Come From!" I remember it always being there, so probably had it from about 3 or 4 years old... Explains a lot in retrospect.
Either way, glad not to have that talk with my parents.
Life_Grade1900@reddit
I was raised by internet porn. Cause I had the internet in my room in the mid 90s.
FYI, this is not a good way to learn
No_Bend_2902@reddit
Wait. Are you me?
DefiantThroat@reddit
My mom got pregnant at 17 and was adamant the cycle ended with her. Anything and everything was fair game. We were definitely the exception in our community.
AreWeCowabunga@reddit
Everything I learned about sex was from my dad’s poorly hidden Penthouse stash.
Awkwrd_Lemur@reddit
exactly the same! when I was 11, I got a book on the human body that showed sex ed but all the people were robots.
carregcennen@reddit
Same! I was reading in my room when a green leaflet was pushed under my door. That was it.
ShakeItUpNowSugaree@reddit
My parents forced me to attend some program at their church. Twice. And twice I refused to sign the stupid little pledge card.
thaKingRocka@reddit
No talk here. I’m still really curious how the birds and the bees were meant to do anything, actually.
fivenightrental@reddit
Never had the talk, which, I thought was kind of ironic because my parents had my brother and I when they were teenagers lol.
just-be-whelmed@reddit
My parents never gave me the “the talk.” Sex ed in 5th & 6th grade coupled with teen magazines is where I learned the basics about puberty and sex.
N_Who@reddit
Yeah, everything I learned, I learned in school or ... well, after school.
I think my mom and stepdad just didn't have a good idea of how to approach me on the subject. I was born in '82, and my biological father left my mom for another dude when I was two or three years old. And I wasn't a terribly masculine kid. I think they thought I might be gay, too. Like "maybe it's hereditary," y'know? So they weren't ever sure how to talk to me about any of it. My stepdad tried once, and just kinda chickened out.
Kimothy80@reddit
No because they thought I'd die before needing to know (chronic illness). SURPRISE!!
OkMolasses4099@reddit
No talk per se, my mom asked if I had any questions, I said no, and we kept it moving
OtherlandGirl@reddit
Nope, I had an older sister and older friends. Other than that, I think it was expected the school session would cover it.
Malkovtheclown@reddit
I was told if I played with myself or had sex before marriage Jesus would be there judging me as he watched.
XFrankXGrimesX@reddit
My mom did when I was I dunno, fourth grade? It was entirely clinical and I appreciate the effort it took her since Real Talk wasn't a thing in our home. Nothing later about condoms, consent etc
4luminate@reddit
Thankfully I was blessed with American Pie. That learned me all I needed to know.
millera9@reddit
Yeah I got the little green handbook and not much else. I think they knew that I had absolutely no game and was in no danger of getting anyone pregnant prior to moving out for college.
s-multicellular@reddit
My dad went to give the talk. I said I wasn’t a virgin and knew all about safe sex, “skip please”. He was like ‘damn son!’ Shit!’ I was 15 and had been barely supervised for years. :Shrug
Secret_Bees@reddit
My parents put me in their room and showed me a sex ed video. I had no idea what was going on or why they were showing it to me.
sunchasinggirl@reddit
Yea, this was pretty much my experience too!