My neighbour is a an absolute nightmare - am I allowed to do this....?
Posted by Cultural_Ad2422@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 136 comments
Apologies for the long post but I just want to give a bit of context.
Since my girlfriend and I moved into our maisonette last year, we've been beset with issues from our downstairs neighbour.
We attempted to be as friendly as possible, sharing our number - as well as being understanding of the potential noise we could cause through normal day-to-day activities due to the floorboards. We wear slippers, are in bed by 10 - don't have friends round late, turn the volume on the TV down as well as fitting soft-closing drawers in our kitchen.
However she does nothing but aggressively harrass us - screaming and swearing at us, smashing the ceiling with a bat as well as having to be physically restrained by her mother when we installed a ring doorbell on our front door (she has 4 rings cameras in various places in and around her property). Other examples include her leaving a bottle of urine in our garden after a dog we were dogsitting had a wee on our shared path (as we were taking her into our garden to do her business).
She has now installed a 360 camera that looks over our right-to-access path that leads to our garden and constantly watches us (the light is always blue) - this was in response to her finding fox faeces on the path and blaming us (?!).
My girlfriend doesn't want us to react in any way but I'm getting quite tired and frustrated at our neighbours behaviour and constant aggression when we've tried to be as friendly as possible. An idea I had was to purchase a sweatshirt that said something along the lines of 'my neighbour is a nosey loser with no life' and wear it as I walk past her cameras as she watches us.
Is this allowed or would there be any room her end for any potential legal consequence? If so, could anyone share any other potential routes for us? Thank you!
resting_up@reddit
Are you with the same landlord.if so ask for a rent reduction because of the neighbour.
Straw8@reddit
You made the fatal mistake of not nipping this in the bud early on.
I wouldn't wear a passive aggressive t-shirt, I'd tell her in a friendly non-confrontational manner that both you and your girlfriend have the right to a quiet peaceful life as much as she does.
Next time she tries the stunt with the urine, knock on her door and ask her what she’s upto?
The more leeway you give people like this, the more they’ll try it on. You need to be clear that no intimidation tactics are going to make you leave the property. Suggest if she keeps on harassing you and making your life a misery you'll be forced to report it to the Police. Start documenting things, even if it’s just the broom on the ceiling, it’s all evidence to support your claim that she’s being a prize fuckhead.
PickleHarry@reddit
I do agree with you about telling hers to stop it. However. we had a similar problem and our neighbour was actually arrested for harassment…it still didn’t stop her. Unfortunately when you come across a neighbour like this, the only time it will ever end is when you move out.
Whisky-Toad@reddit
And if you want to move out soon better not to have any documented grievances so you don’t have to tell the purchasers
Ok-Secret5233@reddit
Are you saying that if you write down the things your neighbor is doing, you legally have to disclose them to purchasers?
Whisky-Toad@reddit
If you make an official complaint
Eoin_McLove@reddit
What counts as an ‘official complaint’? The council or police?
Tumeni1959@reddit
"What counts as an ‘official complaint’? The council or police?"
Anything with a paper or electronic trail that could be uncovered by enquiries from the new owner.
The OP here could potentially looksee if the neighbour was doing this to the previous owner who failed to mention it.
Upstairs-Hedgehog575@reddit
You’re meant to disclose any dispute - but people don’t. If I bought this house and had these issues, I’d be contacting the council and police and anyone else I could think of to see if there was evidence the seller had lied to me.
So if no official complaints had been made, to any body I could realistically contact, then I’d have a hard time proving the seller had misrepresented the property
newfor2023@reddit
We had the rejects from a bad area moved in next door. Within a week one threaten to 'cut me up' then they phoned the police on us first so I was under suspicion. That was fun. My word against the alleged 5 of them that heard it. Despite being nowhere near and me just trying to get ex gf and her kids inside the house behind me while this guy tried to get in my face and only reached my collar.
It was so hard not to laugh nervously. Idk wtf this idiot was or what he may have done. Doesn't take much height or weight to have a knife and I don't have one, a stab vest or preferably a tank to lock myself inside.
Then minutes later I'm being interrogated and told they will say I did it unless I drop it basically. Then I'd have to go to court and all that shit. Where I have no record and don't want one thanks.
UnusualSomewhere84@reddit
It doesn't have to be official, you're supposed to disclose any disputes or anything you know of that could lead to a dispute, people just don't if they think they will get away with it.
DMMMOM@reddit
It's part of the paperwork on a house sale now, so people are aware they are moving into a nightmare neighbourhood and why the person is actually selling. If you've had ANY issues with neighbours you're obliged to list them of face potential court action.
po2gdHaeKaYk@reddit
I feel like the cases are so varied that there would have to be such an extreme scenario for this to become a thing.
The country's court system has a massive backlog.a buyer would have to move in, encounter such an extreme situation, then assemble a court case to sue the previous buyer for misrepresenting a potentially situational issue.
Neighbour issues are such a nightmare because for either party, there is often no real course to action. Issues like party wall disagreements or building permission is more straightforward because there are clear bodies to deal with it.
geoffs3310@reddit
I think councils have the power to force people to move if they are a nuisance neighbour and are found guilty of harassment I'm sure I've seen instances in the news in the past where this has happened. Although it could be that the nuisance neighbour was renting or a council tenant, in which case I don't imagine it would be too hard to evict them, I don't know what would happen if they owned their home.
Mossy-Mori@reddit
You can log complaints with the police without then taking action fyi. I've done it before. They called to make sure and I explained I just want it on record.
ClingerOn@reddit
This is the answer you should be reading OP. You’re a grown up and grown ups need to be able to deal with conflict. Sometimes that means actively facing the conflict head on.
The sweatshirt is childish. A bit of tit for tat playground name calling might give you a little adrenaline rush like you just got one over on the bully but it won’t solve anything, especially with someone who’s apparently unhinged.
Either the situation isn’t actually serious enough to warrant anything beyond a novelty tshirt or you need to develop the ability to actually speak to someone you disagree with.
She’s threatening to harm you and leaving piss on your property. Tell the police, but also tell her you’re not being intimidated in your own home. What you do on your own property is none of her business and it fucking stops now.
redoceanblue@reddit
Seemingly being happy in connection with behaving friendly and proactive considerate attracts psychopaths who are otherwise bored. Apparantly, there is no shortage of them. Good chance of at least one in every multi-family home.
rubber-bumpers@reddit
Man, we really need to bring back Victorian era insane asylums
kebabish@reddit
I would park around the corner, wear a hoodie and a cap, and take a bat to those cameras
seraphimX1@reddit
If you really want to piss her off get your hands on a deauther and knock all her linked devices off at your will, she won’t know it’s you. 😂
cherales@reddit
Well, I’ve just learnt something, and lol’d too - cheers! Not sure how legal this is but I can see how ‘some’ might have some fun …
https://www.theverge.com/23412661/deauther-watch-wifi-hacking-chip-network-deauthorization-secure-oled
seraphimX1@reddit
That’s the first one I bought, legally it’s frowned upon but they have to have the softwear to trace it which they won’t. All I’m saying is if all her stuff goes offline she will direct all her anger at ring and her isp so she might have non left for you. Have fun and don’t let her shitty attitude bring you down. Hope this helps.
cherales@reddit
More seriously, you can’t reason with unreasonable people, so ignore the tw@t and rise above it; it’s not worth escalating matters.
NoIntern6226@reddit
At some point, you have to fight fire with fire. Whether that's the morally right thing to do or not is another question. But it gets to a point whets people like that need to feel threatened.
diagonalfart@reddit
I guess you figured out why the last people wanted to move.
PintOfGuinness@reddit
Crank the music up, stomp your feet, jump from room to room. She will soon regret the nice quiet neighbours she once had
nehnehhaidou@reddit
You started by letting her know you're pushovers and now you want to be passive aggressive instead of firmly stating your boundaries? Get a grip. Confront the angry neighbour and stand your ground, or piss off.
No-Alternative-2881@reddit
I mean this in the nicest possible way, but your completely timid suggestion is probably a lot to do with the reason this person has escalated in the way they have, you can’t take any guff from these swine, man.
clbbcrg@reddit
My downstairs neighbour tried to assert dominance over me expecting the unreasonable.. his bs was met with some very loud floor standing speakers 🔊 🔈 I warned him cut the crap or I’ll turn them up further .. he’s ok now.. you’re mistake was trying to appease the bs
Qyro@reddit
Yeah I’d immediately stop living your life by her standards. Go to bed whenever you want, have friends over, and watch the TV as loud as you need it, wear fucking combat boots around the house if you want.
There’s being considerate, and then there’s bending over backwards to appease the unappeasable.
MoanyTonyBalony@reddit
Play death metal on loop on a timer that turns on and off at whatever legally counts as daytime hours.
Crommington@reddit
Great idea! Can I suggest this?
https://youtu.be/oBudUVu5j1g?si=xtxRcxtVjdIg7QjL
OriginalComputer5077@reddit
Agadoo on a constant loop is the way to go.
pajamakitten@reddit
Don't even have to go that hard. Playing some early In Flames will be enough to get their neighbour riled up.
Crommington@reddit
Clayman is an absolute banger
Lonely-Ad-5387@reddit
I don't have terrible neighbours, but I do appreciate previously undiscovered brutal death metal, so thanks
Crommington@reddit
Any time!
Qyro@reddit
Infant Annihilator definitely suits a certain mood.
InJaaaammmmm@reddit
This. Every time there's banging on my ceiling, I'm stomping around for the next minute.
Oh yeah, carry on like this and I'll have wooden flooring installed. If you thought it was loud before, just wait until I crank up my floor bass speakers.
Forceptz@reddit
This. 100%.
N7twitch@reddit
Id head to r/legaladviceuk for some more specific, helpful answers, but;
It is my understanding that you have a good argument that what she is doing with her cameras constitutes surveillance. There was a recent legal case where someone successfully argued that their neighbours cameras were intrusive.
There are legal allowances for private CCTV that monitors public spaces but it has to be proportionate and not invasive. I have a camera that watches the residential car park outside my home as I want my car to be covered, but I have signs up, and I’ve made sure to set up dead zones on the camera so it doesn’t pick up movement from the surrounding houses.
Your neighbour monitoring your private path and garden does not sound proportionate and not for a legal defence (prevention/detection of crime, etc). Especially with the threats and the questionable behaviour regarding the urine, I would speak to the police and start logging her activity in case she escalates.
Stopfordian-gal@reddit
You have rights, as this person has said. You cannot be filmed by a neighbour spying on you on your own property.
1Wallet0Pence@reddit
Goad her until she hits you then beat the brakes off her
rhi_ni@reddit
Move
Jack_202@reddit
Don't engage, just gather evidence.
Pleasant-Squirrel220@reddit
More cameras and document interactions.
Are you renting or own the property? What is downstairs. If either of you is renting I might be inclined to speak to landlord. Just so you get your story in first.
When I lived in a flat years ago one of the major issues was noise of which I was the guilty party I found out how bad when I went next door it turns out sound insulation was two sheets of Sheetrock and fibre insulation. So it might be worth asking her to get a friend to visit partner stays upstairs and other swap places with downstairs and see what the noise is like.
AtillaThePundit@reddit
I would start dressing up like you’re in the police force . Buy a stab vest and a radio and a white shirt, make sure she sheets you leave for work like that . Mention that you will be having a word with your colleagues next time she starts ranting .
She will probably knock it off
ClingerOn@reddit
Just fucking speak to her. Sweatshirts, police costumes. What’s this obsession with solving problems by dressing up.
AtillaThePundit@reddit
😂 guy wants an outfit ! Let him dress up however he wants !
ChieckeTiotewasace@reddit
Tell her mother that if she continues harrasing you, you will start writing down all times of the day she becomes aggressive. Hopefully, she may be able to rein her in a bit, but keep recording all of the incidents just in case. She sounds like she could have mental health issues or maybe just has aggressive tendencies. Buy some decent cameras and speak to the mother again, impress on her the fact you have records both written and on camera and you have had enough. You have bent over backwards to accommodate them, but they threw that back in your face. I would not be as accommodating as you
Chegwarn@reddit
Jesus Christ dude...
"My clearly mentally unstable neighbour has chosen to fixate her crazy combatative brain toward girlfriend and I. She almost physically attacked me once but her mum was there to stop her so it's OK! My plan is to intentionally antagonise her with a sweatshirt, confirming the dillusions she has about us being her 'enemy'!"
Da fuck is your Endgame here?
ClingerOn@reddit
I wouldn’t have done anything as stupid and juvenile as wearing a sweatshirt to antagonise her when I moved in to my first place but me and my partner were definitely a bit scared to actually deal with bad neighbours.
OP needs to learn to speak to them. If they tell her it’s not on and they’re not going to let her intimidate them then they need to escalate it to the council and the police. She sounds mentally unwell which isn’t an excuse for making OPs life hell.
Chegwarn@reddit
Why do you want to die?
RudePragmatist@reddit
She has to clearly display CCTV in use signage front and back.
vinrehife@reddit
"physically restrain by her mother"...... Erm... This isn't enough of a red flag?
SweepTheLeg69@reddit
Have you tried open-hand slapping her right across the face?
BuBBles_the_pyro@reddit
"restrained by her mother" you got bigger issues than annoying her with a t-shirt.
BrieflyVerbose@reddit
She can't be that bad if her own mother can restrain her.
pajamakitten@reddit
The fact that she has to be restrained is a worry though. Someone like that is far from stable.
DoubleXFemale@reddit
Are you allowed to? Yes. Is it a good idea? No, it’s not.
Your neighbour obviously has mental health issues that make her aggressive and violent (seeing as she needed to be held back by her mum).
If I were your gf, I’d be very unhappy if you did this, as I’d be as likely to suffer the backlash as you.
Intelligent_Water_79@reddit
a few days after we moved in, the neighbor started yelling at us through the fence because the dogs were barking. (neighbour had literally just made a very loud crashing noise in her garden.
I tried politely responding.
My wife came up to the fence, screamed at her to fuck off and if she wants to try anything with us, bring it!
I admit I was dumbstruck and thought this was a terrible way to start with a new neighbour. That said, she has not said a word to us since
(side note, dogs never bark for more than a minute, and if they do, we bring them straight inside)
TheLionfish@reddit
....does your wife offer that as a service?
Intelligent_Water_79@reddit
I actually love that idea . 50 quid for a fuck off and 100 for a fuck off followed by thinly veiled threats of savage retribution
Pure-Host-4999@reddit
I had a similar situation with my neighbours when we moved in about 5 years ago. At first they came across as friendly but one day I got in from work and the wife collared me and started going off her nut at the fact a delivery van was partially blocking her drive earlier that day apparently making her a prisoner in her own home (not sure how as she doesn't drive so van not stopping her driving out etc) tried to be reasonable for a minute or so but eventually lost it my self and told her to fck off back inside like the silly old cnt she was and since then she's never made a peep. Sometimes a solid f*ck off is needed to set the rules of engagement 😀
MDL1983@reddit
Take notes, take photos, record everything.
Present it to the police, this is harrassment.
Police contact will force her to be spoken to and, if she's as nutty as a fruitcake, appropriate action will be taken to bring things to a halt.
Purple_Department_67@reddit
Can you put a mirror up conveniently blocking the camera from seeing your property? Shared usage is a grey area in that (IIRC) the can only cover it if it’s incidental to covering their property…. Eg the shared path/neighbours property is not the focus of the camera I don’t know if there’s a % rule about 360s when they cover other private property but you could challenge it as there are plenty of alternatives that she could install that would be less intrusive
But reporting it would also trigger her… I’d be tempted to remove her access…. Put toppers on the fence, decorations etc anything that blocks the view and spoils her fun
PerformerOk450@reddit
Ignore her, live your life, stop going to bed at 10pm, invite your friends over for dinner. The less you give a fuck about her, the happier you'll be.
tropicaltriangle@reddit
it depends on the type of person you are. I'm probably overly friendly with most people like neighbours but if they want to push my buttons it's go time....
I would try speak to the mother - let her know that's it. you won't live your life being bullied in your own home.
if it continues come back harder.
or potentially cut your losses and explore moving but appreciate that costs ££££. if selling try suck it up so you don't have to declare any disputes when selling
VitualShaolin@reddit
I'm probably not the best person to give advice in situations like this.
I would be doing anything and everything to tip her over the edge. The line has been drawn by her and I would make sure she regrets it.
The community spirited nice approach hasn't worked, now it's time to take off the gloves and take control.
Ecstatic_Okra_41@reddit
You’re being very considerate. I’d personally start asking if she’s okay when she’s angry/upset. It’ll piss her off to no end and may start a reflection process for her. Maybe.
Signal-Sign-5778@reddit
FYI. I tapped out at the first mention of the word "maisonette". Didn't read your post. That's all.
Gullible_Tune_2533@reddit
That's the most pointless thing to do about her haha, why not report her harassment through none emergency channels to the police?
orbtastic1@reddit
I had an insane neighbour that was an absolute dick. The slightest noise and he would be frothing at the mouth. Someone parked outside my house he would be hammering on the door. Tradesman round, ladders up and looking through the windows watching. Girlfriend in garden minding her own business, ladders up and cleaning windows for an hour watching her. Absolute fucking weirdo. Called the police on me countless times over absolutely nothing. Luckily he’s dead now but I still have the legacy of him. I have a fucking lamppost in the middle of MY parking spot outside, I have nails in my fence still. I have concrete Bollards literally surround my property because of him and my neighbours took two of them out and the council replaced them. I spoke to the guy putting one in and he said sorry mate I’ve been told not to talk to you. What the fuck for, I’ve never even conversed with the council!
KaraMarieMontoya@reddit
This reminds me of the movie duplex and drew Barrymore 😂😂 I say buy the sweater
hanni91@reddit
Move before it escalates.
GrumpyGaz@reddit
Don't wear slippers, wear clogs. Could you borrow a toddler for a few hours a week? Get them clogs too.
Pitsmithy_89@reddit
Tell her to fuck right off, the woman is a lunatic . You’ve done the nice approach
Honest-Lunch870@reddit
This is just absurd. Good ragebait though, almost had me convinced until this point.
davehemm@reddit
Buy wooden clogs, use instead of slippers
EscapeArtist92@reddit
First things first, she cannot have a camera that faces your property. It's a breach of data protection. You have tried mediating so right now it's best to advise the police of harassment. Honestly, the bottle of urine would have been my last straw so kudos to you for being patient.
I cannot emphasise this enough. Do not engage with her and report all of her behaviour to the police if it's appropriate to do so. Also advise the freeholder/council of the issues as they do have protocols in place to deal with such matters. 4 cameras is also excessive and they will need permission to keep them so report it.
MOXYDOSS@reddit
I take it she's a jobless sort with mental health issues. Just for a change like.
cognitiveglitch@reddit
Time to buy a decent indoor pa system and listen to The Prodigy inside the socially acceptable hours.
"Well, we were being considerate but it was never good enough, so now I'm just going to enjoy my music" slam
Ancient_Context_3538@reddit
This sucks for you home should be a sanctuary. Please don’t do the buying a t shirt this will just escalate things.
Here are the steps I would take: 1 knock on the door ask her to stop banging and ask what the issue is.
3 if this does not work report to the police for antisocial behaviour and harassment.
It’s best to deal with this head on and non confrontational.
Artistic_Data9398@reddit
If you want to escalate the situation and put yourself in potential danger, sure. go ahead. Or maybe you could be an adult. You guys aren't going to get on. You need to make an action on that.
Im a upstanding guy. i dont like confrontation but if i seen you in that shirt, im fighting you. If this was a man, you'd not thing twice about doing so stupid as to wind your neighbour up more.
byjimini@reddit
I would leave the bottle of piss at her door and ask her what she’s playing at. As for the cameras, complain to the council. Also contact social services.
the_englishman@reddit
Do you own or rent?
If the later, is it the same landlord for both the your neighbour and yourself.
Cultural_Ad2422@reddit (OP)
Both own!
spamjavelin@reddit
Given the fact that you're in a maisonette, she may well be a leaseholder rather than a freeholder. In fact, you may both have the same freeholder. Talk to them, as she may be doing stuff that contravenes her lease.
D0wnb0at@reddit
Ahh that sucks. Cause I would have just suggested moving or reporting her to her landlord.
Just do what others have said. Citizens advise and document everything
the_englishman@reddit
That certainly makes it a bit harder for you. Best of luck, she sounds like a nightmare.
Ginge04@reddit
Honestly, she sounds mentally ill. Pulling passive aggressive shit like wearing a sweatshirt will only inflame things. You’d be as well keeping things formal and above board - put in writing to her that her cameras are intrusive, document all her actions and then go to the police.
PickOpposite1201@reddit
Freeze the piss on a small plate and post it through her letter box
Regular-Ad1814@reddit
I mean you can do this but it is going to make things worse and make it harder for you to actually take action.
I would suggest the following:
Start a diary of all interactions with the neighbour, you need dates, times, description of interaction, place of interaction. Try to ensure all interactions have physical evidence and record in diary against each incident. You can backfill this diary if you have details for the pee in a bottle incident.
Once you have 3 or 4 instances of the neighbour shouting at you or hassling you and have evidence of it, phone the non emergency police line and report neighbour for harassment. Continue your diary and every further instance of them harassing you phone the police and ensure all the cases are linked.
Get on with your life enjoy TV at a sensible volume open and close doors without fear , obviously don't take the piss but just live your life - you are entitled to do that if downstairs neighbour doesn't like living under someone they can move.
The reality is the neighbour will lose their 💩 when the police visit to speak to them and will escalate their sh1tty behaviour towards you that will only get them into more trouble. The key is you need to rise above, be polite don't react just document everything. Tbh rising above it will just annoy them even further which is rewarding in itself.
Agreeable-Egg-5841@reddit
I did exactly this when things with my mad neighbour escalated. The police were very responsive and friendly. I decided against them actually visiting the neighbour but wanted things on record. These days you can usually enter updates via a web form.
2ndBestAtEverything@reddit
This is the way. ⬆️
angel_0f_music@reddit
Have you had an actual conversation with this woman? Because from your post it sounds like you've been inconspicuous and your neighbour has started going off on you for no reason? Did she put a note through the door asking you to keep the noise down or just start banging on the ceiling? Do you have carpet to muffle noise?
Inviting her round for a cup of tea and a chat might help.
The way you tell it, it sounds like this person is mentally unstable.
Document incidents and file a police report. Don't go with the passive-agreesive top.
First_Folly@reddit
The problem would be that you really have to approach this situation in good faith in case anything does end up going to some kind of arbitration or legal dispute. If you haven't acted with benevolence it can be used against you for the other party to justify their actions, even if it's something you perceive to be small or petty.
ledow@reddit
Ignore it. Carry on as per normal. If she does anything threatening, report her.
Don't do anything that could be classed as "anti-social behaviour" yourselves. If she's renting (even council), she can be warned and evicted for the bottle of urine, for example. If not, she can still be warned officially and other action taken. Especially aggressive action.
And I'd just go about living your life.
Had this a few years ago with a homeowner's association leader who owned the house next to the one I was renting. I was accused of everything from putting the waste in the wrong bin (I hadn't disposed of any waste that week AT ALL), "people coming and going" (yes, it's called being a normal member of society), "people leaving late at night" (yes, one of the people in the house works nightshift), disturbing another neighbour who worked nightshift (gosh, I wonder how I could sympathise with that?), installing an "illegal sticker" (that said CCTV in use) on my own front door, thinking about setting up cameras on my own front door, etc. They would knock on my door early Sunday morning to tell me off about things that I had absolutely no part in and often suspected never even happened.
I largely ignored it, but when I witnessed a stand-up punching fight between neighbours over a parking space and nothing happened, I just reported it to the association like they'd reported me. And when the local kids threw stones at the woman, I pointed out what a shame it was that we didn't have CCTV like I could have installed for them all for free. When their satellite TV broke and they looked at me accusingly I explained that I hadn't watched TV in years and didn't own one and wasn't plugged into their satellite feed at all (their gardener had strimmed the cable that came down to floor level for some reason). And so on.
In the end I cited them as one of the reasons I was moving out, because of the constant harassment, and that I'd bought a tiny quiet house in the country where I could get some peace finally (and, literally, that was a reason I bought a tiny quiet house in the country without many neighbours). The owner of the flat kind of acknowledged that they were always a problem, and wasn't able to rent it out for 2 whole years after I left.
Live your life. Close doors. Walk on your floor, They aren't allowed to do anything about that. And if they do, you report them like they would report you.
DimonaBoy@reddit
Go buy a sub woofer and every time she plays up, crank on it loud and go out...
I had a problem with a neighbour screaming and ranting at me through the wall one day saying I was making too much noise.
We had a semi detached house and I was on the phone to a customer as I worked from home so how I was being loud I don't know.
I went round to say I wasn't being noisy and she got even more aggressive, saying she'd send her husband round to "stove my head in" when he got home. She'd scream at him too a lot, he was totally henpecked.
Had a thought and went over to PC World and bought a sub woofer and 2 speakers for my PC in my upstairs "office".
The next day she started banging on the wall again accusing of me of making too much noise, I cranked it on and left for the pub down in town (Huntingdon at the time). Loud classic trance for her all afternoon. Walls were somewhat shaking.
I came back around 8pm and switched it off, it had been playing since about 3pm. My then girlfriend (now wife) was with me and asked what I was doing and I explained. Can't say she was too happy, it was her house lol.
It went quiet for a few days and then the neighbour kicked off again, banging against her wall making accusations about noise whilst I was working, so I switched on the sub woofer for about 30 seconds and turned it off.
She got the message instantly and stopped being a pain in the ass from that moment on, sure we were never going to be friends but she left me alone till she moved out and new lovely neighbours moved in.
Fight fire with fire I say!
UnicornStar1988@reddit
This is stalker behaviour and it sounds like she may have a mental health problem.
bartread@reddit
If you haven't already been keeping a log of dates and times of interaction, along with a summary of the content and tone of those interactions, in addition to the other advice here, this would be a good time to start.
olidav8@reddit
Might be time for the piss disc. But you could even use her piss.
SceneDifferent1041@reddit
Confess your undying love for her in the most creepy way possible.
Forceptz@reddit
There are some really reasonable suggestions on here but may I add that you should put your own cameras up facing hers? Just to be petty.
Optimal_Builder_5724@reddit
Bottle of piss left on your doorstep?
Just post it through her letterbox
kylehyde84@reddit
Piss discs my friend
jackinthebox1968@reddit
Mental issues I expect. My Uncle and Auntie had nothing but trouble with theirs after her husband died. Gave them nothing but stress and anxiety for years, my uncle cracked in the last two years of his life and gave her back her verbally swearing vile mouth. We are in South Wales UK, I don't know legally what you could do sorry.
Peg_leg_J@reddit
We're not your mum mate.....
KermitsPuckeredAnus2@reddit
I'm not the borough
Cultural_Ad2422@reddit (OP)
Cheers Dad
dazb84@reddit
There's two options open to you. People have a baseline behaviour. For many people that's perfectly acceptable behaviour to most other people. Some people don't fit into that category and never have and you need to understand that.
Your first option is to attempt to understand how the baseline behaviour was established. Maybe they have a mental illness. Maybe it was due to specific circumstances in their upbringing. Maybe they're severely autistic and react with hostility to what they perceive to be an overstimulation of sound. Maybe this requires 3rd party assistance. The point is that you can't fix something until you understand what the causes are and how to treat them. Actions you take while not having a full understanding can have the complete opposite of the desired effect. You have to also keep in mind that it may even be extremely difficult or potentially impossible to fix.
The second option is to mitigate. Avoid doing things that exacerbate the behaviour so that you're minimising the overall impact of it to as close as the baseline as you can reasonably maintain. Obviously to do this you need to accept whatever the baseline is.
Pargula_@reddit
Council tenant?
Cultural_Ad2422@reddit (OP)
Nope - both own!
Pargula_@reddit
Interesting, I'd report them for breaching GDPR laws with their cameras if you want to escalate things, but remove yours first.
RareHorse@reddit
'An idea I had was to purchase a sweatshirt that said something along the lines of 'my neighbour is a nosey loser with no life' and wear it as I walk past her cameras as she watches us.
Is this allowed or would there be any room her end for any potential legal consequence?'
This really isn't the solution that will fix your problem. It will only antagonise your neighbour further.
Ask for help on the r/legaladviceuk subreddit and/or talk a solicitor.
joefraserhellraiser@reddit
Did she present none of these mentalist qualities when you viewed the property? Was she mentioned by the previous owner?
The_Real_Macnabbs@reddit
If you can, just ignore. Don't escalate. Some people just have mental health problems that make them behave unreasonably. You're never going to win this argument. Just go about your life and, as others have mentioned, catalogue any incidents. Ignore the cameras. To be honest, this might be more a job for social services than the police. Hope this is all resolved to your satisfaction, you sound like a very considerate neighbour.
brit953@reddit
You mentioned neighbors mother having to intervene when you installed you ring - does this unruly neighbor life downstairs with her mother or was the mother just visiting? Can you contact the mother for assistance with the ongoing harassment ?
Wooden_Philosopher26@reddit
Don't stoop to their level. Plus if it escalates you'll end up having a neighbour dispute to declare if you ever look to sell the place.
Sin_nombre__@reddit
It's not going to help, will likely make things worse.
A discussion or mediation might work.
FenderForever62@reddit
I’d ask your local PCSO about the legality of the 360 camera, try and get a photo or video of the light on (as well as off) to prove she’s watching you.
Speak to her mom, if she had to physically restrain her it’s likely they know she isn’t mentally right. You can ask them what is happening and if there is anyone you can call next time she does something threatening. (Also gives you leeway to phone police that you’re worried she’ll threaten others/hurt herself)
If you do want to fight fire with fire? Wearing a t shirt is a lame way of doing this. Really, what will that achieve?
If you really want to go hardcore, be intimidating (next time she yells at you, don’t react - just stare at her. This will creep most people out. Then if she tries to use it on CCTV to show anything to police, all it will be is footage of her yelling and you having no reaction). If she hits the ceiling, stomp on the floor. Only do this for a short spurt, in case she records on a phone. If she comes to your door, ignore her. Nobody has to answer their front door. Tell her through ring door bell to leave. If she won’t go away, phone the police.
Or just do weird stuff. Throw a cup of water onto the pavement. Stare at her CCTV for five minutes. Buy a Halloween mask and wear it every single time you leave or come home. Stare at the CCTV with it on. If she reports it to police, you just say it’s you and your partners way of pranking each other and you ‘didn’t realise the neighbour could watch us from CCTV, is that legal for her to watch our footpath?’. Ask some friends to dress up as sketchy as possible and visit. When you and your partner get home, make sexual gestures to each other - playful things you can get away with in public but are clear enough as to what you’re referring to. Throw something away, but look sketchy - keep checking the CCTV and slowly bring it out your pocket, throw it in and then look around again. See if you can then catch her looking through your things.
The important part is to do things that she can’t use against you, but you can use against her.
As most people said, you need to stop giving an inch. The day she installed the CCTV, you should have knocked on the door and demanded it taken down. The more you put up with, the more she is going to do.
ThatGothGuyUK@reddit
If the UK we have strict laws on this, punishment is anything from a warning to a huge fine.
Generally a shared area is allowed to be filmed BUT they can't share the images and they can't intrude your privacy including if the camera captures voices from areas that should be private.
"A domestic CCTV system needs to be operated in a responsible way that respects the privacy of others."
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/domestic-cctv-using-cctv-systems-on-your-property/domestic-cctv-using-cctv-systems-on-your-property
https://ico.org.uk/for-the-public/home-cctv-systems/
astromech_dj@reddit
What if you just went about your day in a manner expected for your own comfort and the respect of you surroundings? Let her be a shit. Catalogue any harassment, use the council/police if it escalates or you worry for your safety. Just read up on your rights and the law surrounding noise etc and respect that. She doesn't get to choose what is noisy. The council does.
zephyrthewonderdog@reddit
‘We attempted to be as friendly as possible’, that was your first mistake. Bullies just see this overt friendliness as weakness. You can be polite without being friendly, until you know people better.
You are their new entertainment. Do you think they would be acting up like this if a really rough ASBO family had moved in, instead of nice people like you and your girlfriend?
Personally I would just start having parties at the weekend till 3am. Make as much noise as possible. The nicer you are the worse they will be- seriously.
zephyrmox@reddit
Sure, you can do it - but the only possble thing it will do can make it worse, so I don't really see why you would.
Leather_Let_2415@reddit
Catharsis, but he can do a lot better than that imo.
5n0wgum@reddit
It's such a petty thing too. Just tell her to her face you know.
Personally I'd be looking into getting that 360 camera down ASAP.
Nine_Eye_Ron@reddit
They have as the bar so low for your disturbances you probably don’t need to take more than reasonable care.
Have friends over in a normally reasonable way, stay up to a reasonable time, walk and do chores at reasonable times.
Of course always keep a diary of their interactions with you, and report behaviour that is not reasonable.
This isn’t legal advice but if going above and beyond to accommodate them doesn’t help then don’t make the effort beyond what you would do with a normal downstairs neighbour.
G30fff@reddit
T-shirt isn't going to do anything but maybe make you feel better. It may be considered as an aggravating factor by whichever body you eventually end up having to bring in to assist you (council, Police etc) but basically this woman is a nutter and nothing you can do is going to change that. You can either ignore her, go on the offensive and try and cow her, hope she moves out or leave. And leaving might be the best option, sorry to say.
FinancialFix9074@reddit
I think this will just aggravate things, and more likely escalate things, rather than solve anything. I've had awful neighbours in the past, so understand the frustration but, if she's this reactive and unreasonable, I can't see any benefit from this at all. It'll just rile her up more.
You can contact the council and ask for them to arrange mediation between you. This would happen on neutral ground.
Also make a list of everything she's done and when, if at any point it crosses the line into harassment, and you have to take it further.
Mr-Incy@reddit
Speak with the other neighbours, they may have had negative interactions with her as well.
Aside from that, record everything and report her for being a nuisance and disturbing the peace.
CoffeeIgnoramus@reddit
Sounds like you just want a fight. Not a solution.
It sounds like she has known issues if her own mother is holding her back. have you talked to the mum?
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/problems-with-neighbours/complaining-about-your-neighbour/
Yoguls@reddit
Yes. You could get a t-shirt that says 'my neighbour is a nosey cunt' and there's nothing she could do
PigHillJimster@reddit
Haven't you already renamed your wifi network to "nosey_loser_downstairs" ?
BRbeatdown@reddit
No you're not allowed to do this...
I'll now read your post!
Oh... okay this isn't as extreme as most of the people that post! Yes... you can wear a sweatshirt!
Personally, I definitely wouldn't be ninjaing around smashing the camera's from angles they can't see me like I'm in a mission impossible film.
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