ULPT Request: Burn Amazon account until I get banned

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Jceggbert5@reddit

Get yourself on the email list of some of the chinese review buyers. They'll have you buy things, post good reviews, and then they'll reimburse you 90-100% of the item's cost.

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PM_Me_Juuls@reddit (OP)

What would you do if you, a Prime member of 15 years ($15.99 a month) was told that, even though Amazon admitted to cancelling a product you ordered, they also won't refund you.

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miraculum_one@reddit

perhaps OP hasn't been forthcoming about their full history

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girlwithdog@reddit

Sometimes the customer service rep is just kind of a dick. Recently had this happen with target, ordered 3 $5 items and there were only 2 in the box. Talked to two different reps who both insisted it was “impossible”. I told them to compare the weight of what it should be vs. what was sent and they basically said they consider the matter closed and ended the chat. It was only $5 so I just moved on, but it was annoying to basically be called a liar. No return history either since I don’t shop much at Target, but I did use the chat late at night so I think they were just not in the mood to help.

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Flimsy_Relative960@reddit

Come on, from OP's post he seems totally reasonable and not narcissistic or self centered at all. /s

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Yeah this is utter BS. I recently had a package with 2 items get lost and I was refunded the money very easily. Then another package kept getting delayed, also refunded the money. Then I ask about a discount for this month because on top of my last 2 packages not making it to my house, all the estimated delivery dates for any item on Amazon is a week out. They refunded me the $15 for my prime membership for this month with no pushback.

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drinkbeergetmoney@reddit

"For a 15 year prime subscriber, complaining ONE time about a $13 item, why not just give it to them without question?" Cause they know that if someone's with them for 15 years he might scream and threaten a bit on reddit but is gonna be back, tail tucked within a couple months at the latest I assume.

As you said, cold efficiency, I am sure they have data on this shit.

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DevFreelanceStuff@reddit

It wouldn't be a yes or no question though. The point is they know the exact dollar amount where it would be worth it.

You could be right that the number is basically zero, although that seems hard to believe.

They only care if you're a valuable customer.

When I was living pay to pay, my bank didn't care about doing anything to retain me and I didn't care enough to switch banks over a free iPad offer other banks had.

Now that I have savings my bank is willing to go above and beyond to give me offers.

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TheGuyThatThisIs@reddit

As a customer I feel your pain.

As someone who used to handle warrantees and returns for a shitty product that no one buys twice, I want to high five that worker.

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mrjackspade@reddit

Moment of my life I'll never forget.

My entire childhood, my mother used to tell me that she stuck with Bank of America because she's had an account for 30+ years. I asked a rep once while I was in a branch and he just looks at me and deadpan says "Nope. We don't care how long you've been a customer"

A month later I switched banks, for a much better experience.

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Ok-Armadillo-5634@reddit

Walmart+ is a good alternative

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iHateReddit_srsly@reddit

Or how about not supporting businesses who are actively ruining society? Go outside and shop in person.

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RestingDitchFace@reddit

Mitigating the negative externalities of capitalism isn't always an option for the poor.

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Just do a chargeback via your bank or credit card. It'll piss off Amazon a bit, but you'll legally get your money back.

What you're suggesting in the OP - to buy stuff and claim you didn't get it - isn't really unethical. It's illegal. An unethical tip might be to just chargeback vs wasting your time with Amazon's support. But you already spoke to multiple customer service folks. So what you'd be doing isn't even unethical, it's just the standard process to resolve a dispute with a company where you involved a bank or credit card company.

I really hope you used a credit card too, because they make it super easy to get charges removed if you tell them they weren't authorized. Especially helps that you already gave the company several attempts to resolve the issue. You still might get banned, but who cares at that point? You'll get your $13 back and "stick it" to them.

I did this years ago with a newegg order that never arrived and I've just never used them since. Had a few credit cards compromised over the years (probably gas stations, though they never tell where) and they never have given me issue over calling them to say "hey I got this wacky charge I didn't do, can you remove it?". Takes like 10 mins max on the phone with them.

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geographyofnowhere@reddit

how old are you?

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PM_Me_Juuls@reddit (OP)

I feel this is a trap to begin victim blaming and catch someone lying about having an account for 15 years.

I had Prime since '08 I believe or close to it.

So actually 16 years

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geographyofnowhere@reddit

Not trying to victim blame, you just sound young. I think the years subscribed is generally irrelevant, so hadn't even considered that.

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bbllaakkee@reddit

chargeback time. easy

This sounds insane.

EnglishBeatsMath@reddit

It's all just theory, but they say if 30% or less of your purchases (or money spent) are refunded, then you're generally in the clear. This goes for basically any online retailer.

PM_Me_Juuls@reddit (OP)

That's true.

I'm just so upset. 15 years of paying prime, over in an instant. Will never support them again.

They have reps straight up telling me they are allowed to steal and, just like you said, they could not care less.

Could you fucking imagine the balls on Amazon allowing reps to say that shit?

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rwa2@reddit

Lol, all this for $13 of garbage? I'd hate to see what you'd do over a $100 phone bill overcharge 😅

I've had nothing but good experiences with Amazon over the past 20 years of never being a prime member (seriously is it that hard to find $35 worth of junk to qualify for free shipping?). So you didn't hear this from me. BUT... if you're that petty:

sign up for AWS and upload a couple terabytes of offsite Glacier storage tape backup. They'll dutifully charge your credit card like 14¢ a month for eternity. For me it's on AmEx so I know they're losing a ton of money on transaction fees over the past 10 years :P

Plus you'll be able to pay them to retrieve your kids' baby photos when your house burns down.

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Buy stuff with a credit card. Dispute the charge. Save yourself the time bro

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fusiformgyrus@reddit

With all due respect, if you wanted loyalty, expect that from small businesses, not Amazon.

Second, you can just get your credit card company involved if you simply file a claim.

That way you won’t need to deal with Amazon, and also go through this ordeal that will harm only you. Not them. They don’t care. And they are more likely to get their money back than you are.

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I'm really sorry this happened and it surely sucks but

I truly can not believe it I was treated like a mundane piece of shit after buying Prime for FIFTEEN YEARS.

As someone who works on customer service (not Amazon tho) most CSR tools only show a customer's basic info and orders, not how long you've been a customer

Also, there are probably hundreds (or even thousands) of people who have been paying Amazon Prime for 15 years or more, so I doubt any Amazon employee would be like "wow, this guy is SO special". Sadly, even if you never buy anything again, it isn't really a loss for Amazon and they won't care as much as they should

You should just contact your bank for a chargeback and close the account instead of wasting more time on them

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eownified@reddit

Yeah, honestly the “I’ve been a customer for X years” doesn’t hold any weight anywhere except maybe the smallest of mom and pop shops. Especially when you’re speaking to someone who doesn’t own the company.

Companies only care about you as a customer if you spend a lot of money.

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reddit-ate@reddit

Not entirely true. I worked at a bank and we definitely did take into consideration how long you'd been with us. Granted that's a whole other ethical question about banks blah blah, but the main gist of my post is that there are companies that care about your loyalty to the brand. Just my 2 cents. Hopefully OP gets their stuff resolved.

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Freedom_33@reddit

Get "free" (review) products, then return them. Double dip. i.e. get a $150 camera, get $150 back from seller after your review, then you return to Amazon and get $150 back. It also helps burn the sketchy sellers offering free products for review. You can then delete your review, or turn it negative, etc.

There are a bunch of "free product" for review email lists and facebook groups. Usually seems to be associated with Chinese companies/sellers (from my understanding that's "normal" ecommerce business practices there)?

I also live at the center of my condo, so I occasionally receive knocks or just Walmart packages from other people as well. Those contractor delivered packages only has a name on it, no address. Half of the time I can find the name on the registry to redeliver it.

You can refuse to receive any package that is delivered to your house and the delivery service is obligated to return to sender at no cost of the recipient.

bobbyzee@reddit

Fun fact - they don't care if you've been a prime member for 1 day or 100 years. It's all the same.

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Mr_sweet_and_awful@reddit

Buy hood at local Amazon stores or public auctions for cheap. Look for broken things. Buy the same item from Amazon and return the broken ones.

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whatsamatterhorn@reddit

Anvils, but the real vindictive move is to return them at Kohls.

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Double-Parsley-6809@reddit

Find non returnable items. These will be clearly marked as non returnable, and are usually things with big batteries or magnets like speakers, scooters, etc.

Once you get it, call tech support (not customer service but tech support) and say the item is clearly used and was dirty. Because is a non tech issue, tech support will go straight for a refund since it doesn't affect their metrics and because this is a non returnable item they won't ask you to return it.

I have purchased so many items that end up broken over the years and buy a new one and return the old one in the box saying it’s broken.

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brooklyn735@reddit

This guy bought pothole filler and returned the boxes filled with sand.

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ValueSt0nks@reddit

Amazon screws us sellers just as bad. At the end, the system seems to only work for them. They might’ve even taken the money from the seller and kept it

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Dry-Fortune-6724@reddit

I am confused. EVERY time Amazon delivers a package to me, they take a picture. Even when they hand the package directly to me.

You state that Amazon lost a package in transit. Who was the shipper? USPS? UPS? DHL? Amazon?

Buy things expensive that can't be returned, like a generator, and then say it's damaged or incorrect. They'll issue a refund and you'll keep the generator.

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joecool42069@reddit

you know you can just chargeback that shit on your credit card right? Regardless of the business's decision to not refund. they have to prove you received it.

And no way am I spending all that time over $13!!! Time is a precious commodity, it’s finite and it goes fast! Mt time is worth more than arguing over $13. I know, it’s the principle 🤣🤣

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spammmmmmmmy@reddit

This is strange because just last night I had an Amazon chat where "the package is probably lost" and has not been delivered.

Ridiculous! Amazon is so good at refunding, no questions asked.

Maybe your profile is flagged as someone who abuses the service? Many companies are coming down on accounts who do a lot of returns and some fraud.

Because similar thing happened to me. They forgot to include one item in the package and the bot refunded the cash within 3-4 prompts. Took less than 2 mins.

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jaykay2015@reddit

Also keep in mind that Amazon is comprised of thousands and thousands of third party sellers not some faceless corporation as you assume. It takes food off my family's table whenever someone pulls a stunt like this, if you're going to do this just make sure you buy directly from amazon.com and not a third party vendor please

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testaccount123x@reddit

Just for the future...unless you tell someone how to easily identify this, your words will fall on deaf ears. Just have to tell them they have to look for "sold and shipped by amazon" under the buy button. If they don't know what to look for specifically, nobody is ever gonna look into that.

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GoGatorsMashedTaters@reddit

It took me like 12 years to get around my shadowban.

Had to use a new phone number, new payment method, new email address, and a new address halfway around the country.

It’s not worth it.

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Joker8392@reddit

You’re going nuclear over the cost of shipping? I highly doubt it’s worth it.

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m3rl0t@reddit

Charge back

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-echo-chamber-@reddit

You're going to lose out by not being able to order, losing all your prime movies you bought. But have fun being an asshole. And, as an AMZN shareholder, fuck you.

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I purchased a propane heater (just the heater, no tank). Part of it quit working, they sent me a new one and said they couldn’t accept the old one back.

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clockmaker82@reddit

I certainly wouldn't be posting that I plan to steal as much as possible from a global company. But that's just me 🤷‍♂️

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connection_lost@reddit

My rule of thumb is I internally keep track on how much a company took away from me unfairly, so I will take back from them for the same amount in the future. Using your case as an example, I will remember Amazon as $13 owed. One day in the future, if I find one of my \~$13 cup/stool/wrench broke, I will buy the same one on Amazon, and return the old one as dead on arrival.

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Klem_Colorado@reddit

Fir $13, and your tenure, you would think they would save you as a customer. Thats sad.

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LOEILSAUVE@reddit

Literally any product. Search for "amazon refunds" on reddit any you'll find guides on how to get refunded for items you claim to not have received (even though you did receive them)

Basically order something (I like to order items worth 60 to €80) and tell amazon support you didn't receive them.

My technology inept roommate had me order some $400 car part off amazon using my account. He got the package, I said it was stolen before I got home because they left in the lobby and not at my apt door. Got a refund.

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RangerWhisk3y@reddit

Avoid all this and do a charge back. Take screen shots of the convos stating they canceled the order and won’t be providing a refund. You’ll have your money back relatively quick. Moving forward just be reckless with your account if you really don’t care. Like repurchasing common items you use and exchanging them with new and sending back old.