A restaurant where nothing is edible
Posted by GoatsWithWigs@reddit | CrazyIdeas | View on Reddit | 48 comments
There is food, it's just fake and made of 100% indigestible and inedible, potentially toxic materials. Plastic, concrete, glass, foam, acrylic, that's what all the food is made of but it looks realistic because it's just tor show
It's like if you took the idea of fake fruit in a bowl to the extreme and just fuckin go to a restaurant full of fake food
XROOR@reddit
Dated a lovely vegan au pair. Took me to a lovely vegan restaurant in Vienna, VA one Summer day. Saw plants I never knew you could eat like flowers grown in a pond. I shit my brains out that day.
terra_technitis@reddit
What about the guests? How do you plan to make them inedible.
GoatsWithWigs@reddit (OP)
Refuse service to anyone who has showered in the past year and doesn't look like a walking biohazard
InventorOfCorn@reddit
So only the average redditor is allowed?
choruscat@reddit
Artist Claes Oldenberg created a storefront in Manhattan in the 60’s with a similar concept. He created ice cream sundaes, pies, cakes out of plaster and sold them directly to thwart traditional galleries: https://www.thecollector.com/claes-oldenburg-the-store/
userhwon@reddit
Which is why there are no traditional galleries today.
SlipsonSurfaces@reddit
People who like to Instagram their food or whatever would love that place.
userhwon@reddit
Japan has a restaurant trope where the entire menu is on display in the front window as plated plastic food.
There ought to be one by now where they just pass those dishes around to be insta'd.
GoatsWithWigs@reddit (OP)
Bad food sells burgers, Steve. Bad food sells burgers
userhwon@reddit
"At RedditMods, you can order, but if you touch anything that comes to the table, we'll throw you out."
Konklar@reddit
You just described Arby's
AdSalt9219@reddit
Reheated lunch meat on a stale roll. But worse.
cletusvanderbiltII@reddit
Arby's problem isn't the bad quality of the food or the high prices.
Lazerus42@reddit
I'll bite... (that beef-n-chedder is so good)
What is the problem...?
Konklar@reddit
Come on! it was right there! "what's the beef? what's your beef?"
Anyway, I just don't care to the texture of their meat. You kind stranger however, go forth and enjoy!
Lazerus42@reddit
damn, that's good too.
Bogofdoritos@reddit
It’s the fact that their roast beef reminds the world of questionable vagina?
Bunyan12ply@reddit
Questionable Vagina is actually a great name for a punk band.
norsurfit@reddit
questionable vagina, with a side of horsey sauce....
metagloria@reddit
Clicked on this thread expecting this to be the top comment, was not disappointed.
Zer_0@reddit
Cronenberg has entered the chat
EnvironmentalRip5156@reddit
“Crazy” isn’t the word I would use to describe this idea.
K_Linkmaster@reddit
Meow wolf and the like. Smaller installations will have nothing edible.
Turbulent-Name-8349@reddit
Why not a restaurant where everything has zero calories?
I'd go.
LamppostBoy@reddit
That's a Kilgore Trout short story
Echo-Azure@reddit
Perfect! A restaurant made entirely for the sort of social media "influencers" who just want photographs of expensive food, so they can post pictures that will make other foodies envy them!
The only problem with this is that your "restaurant" will have to keep coming up with "unique" meal ideas, so you'll have to hire a kitchen full of sculptors to keep making tonight's specials. But what the hell, artists are desperate enough for work in their field that they'll accept poverty wages, right?
GoatsWithWigs@reddit (OP)
You assume that influencers are where the money comes from
Echo-Azure@reddit
For restaurants like French Laundry, I assume that many of their customers are already far more interested in photographing the food than in eating any of it. So if such places ever need some quick cash, they could hold secret influencers-only events, where they could either let every "influencer" take turns photographing the same plate of food, or just hand around lifelike, re-usable sculptures!
Which probably taste just as interesting as the real food they serve.
GoatsWithWigs@reddit (OP)
Nobody's gonna wanna come to a fake food restaurant just to take pictures of food that they might as well fake for cheaper.
No.
The real reason you go is to pretend to eat food. Pick up a spoon, scoop some fake soup, and mime out a yummy eating session. It is a roleplaying restaurant, where you roleplay being nourished and refreshed. It is a place to put your acting skills to the test, to see if you have what it takes to win the ultimate fake eater champion award
Echo-Azure@reddit
What's wrong with you, OP!!! You're dismissing the only people who might conceivably pay for this batshittery!!!@!!
GoatsWithWigs@reddit (OP)
What can I say, I am not a sellout. Sometimes we have to sacrifice financial opportunities to stay true to the vision
Slushman5000@reddit
You could name the restaurant “Christmas in North Korea”
grayscale001@reddit
This is called an art gallery, not a restaurant.
megablast@reddit
That is just a calendar store.
wizzard419@reddit
It's a modern art piece showing the state of pollution, hyper-processed foods, and poverty's influence on the food chain.
GoatsWithWigs@reddit (OP)
Damn I actually like that
Carthuluoid@reddit
Good Omens might interest you
c3534l@reddit
So why would I go?
GoatsWithWigs@reddit (OP)
I don't know, you're the one giving it attention. All I did was come up with the idea
MrSluagh@reddit
Anorexia?
Tetragonos@reddit
for when you want to hang with friends but are on a diet!
McPorkums@reddit
In n Out 🤣
Beetle_Facts@reddit
Blasphemy
Bogofdoritos@reddit
I don’t give a shit about In n Out, but man I could real go for some Beetle Facts right now.
McPorkums@reddit
Look man, anyone can take a shitty McDLT and cardboard fries and if you get people to act pretentious enough about some "SecReT MEnU" about it it'll sell.
PsychologicalTowel79@reddit
But the items that don't look like food are actually cake!
GoatsWithWigs@reddit (OP)
And then when you cut into the hyper realistic cake, the cake inside is actually made of foam or rubber. It never ends, everything is inedible no matter how many twists and turns
thechemistrychef@reddit
There's sections in some museums for work like this iirc