How are American upper class people like?
Posted by LeGranMeaulnes@reddit | AskAnAmerican | View on Reddit | 63 comments
Do they still exist? Like the Boston Brahmins
https://youtu.be/bXjU60a8dmI?si=xDxocgwBUJ6pP2_l
redd4972@reddit
So I don't know how much of this is actually true and how much of this is just media perception. But in America 95% of the population considers themself "Middle class" And while there are a lot of rich people who like to flaunt there are equally as many rich people who carefully brand themselves as a normal person.
hermitthefraught@reddit
Well, "millionaires" includes a lot of very ordinary people who have carefully saved and invested for decades and are now near retirement or somewhat early in retirement, i.e. at the peak of their net worth. Those people tend to have that amount of money because they are sensible about spending, as much as that they want to project a certain image despite having money.
AnotherPint@reddit
Correct. It is possible -- and not uncommon -- to be a net-worth multimillionaire thanks to long-term investments ... and still scan the weekly supermarket ads for BOGOs and buy your underwear when it goes on a coupon deal at Costco. Net worth and monthly operating budget are entirely different things. Source: This is me.
sgtm7@reddit
100K a year is not "rich". Depending on location, it could mean anything from middle class to well off. No where in the USA is that rich.
catladywithallergies@reddit
Yeah, in LA, I'm not even certain that you can afford a house with just a $100,000 salary
mosiac_broken_hearts@reddit
As a home cleaner I’ve seen some things and you are absolutely correct. The real way to understand someone’s financial situation is to look at their vehicle, teeth, and how elaborate the landscaping is.
shackofcards@reddit
Amazingly these are three things I notice that people pour money into to make it appear as though they have money. I have a sister in law who makes under $100k (husband makes maybe $40k) and they don't have generational wealth or anything. They got a loan out to the tune of $50-60k to put into the house, she has perfect teeth (he doesn't), and she bought a Mercedes (he drives a Jeep). They do not have children although that's not for lack of trying unfortunately.
My point is you're not wrong, but people know this and try to emulate the look of someone wealthy, so it can sometimes be hard to tell.
mosiac_broken_hearts@reddit
Not a flashy car, and not perfect teeth lol. But a really well kept reliable car, and teeth that have clearly had a lot of work done to keep them in their mouth. I understand what you’re saying, but the point to notice is the nuance between the “presenting” wealthy and the actually wealthy. I have a client who has spent 10k in the last few years just trying to avoid dentures. That’s more of what I mean
GenSurgKidA@reddit
In normal environments hard to tell and sus out unless you know what to look for. I summer in the Hamptons and if you spend enough time there, there are telltale signs of how they dress, conduct themselves similarly, drive similar cars. They don’t overtly show off - it’s more mannerisms etc
the_real_JFK_killer@reddit
The majority of actual upper class people don't actually distinguish themselves from the crowd. Standing out is the opposite of the objective. They try to just blend in.
If someone is actually wealthy, they won't let you know. You generally won't be able to pin it. People who flaunt wealth generally aren't actually all that wealthy.
So basically, they're like everyone else.
veryangryowl58@reddit
Or they're currently wealthy but not likely to stay that way for long. A crazy number of NFL players go bankrupt.
DoinIt989@reddit
NFL players are not upper class
mcsmith610@reddit
You define a NGL player as “Upper Middle” class?
inthenameofselassie@reddit
Maybe if they're practice roster lmao
veryangryowl58@reddit
Where’d you get ‘upper middle’ from?
mcsmith610@reddit
Nevermind. My bad. I totally must’ve sped read the headline
PPKA2757@reddit
The reason so many former professional sports players go bankrupt is mainly because they’ve never had that kind of money before, have no idea how to handle having it (thus going on spending sprees), have short careers, and often times are taken advantage of by close friends/families.
The average NFL player’s career is like 3-4 years, during which time they’ll make a few million dollars, after which they’re back to being a regular Joe with their only life skill being moot and effectively useless with only a high school education (they leave college before finishing). The league(s) has gotten much, much better at providing financial planning resources to players in recent years, but it’s ultimately still on the players to treat all of their earnings as all the money they’ll ever make in their lives and to plan accordingly for “retirement” at 25 years old.
If you were broke as hell your whole life and then started pulling in five/six figures a month, you’d probably spend a bunch of it too. Most of them don’t have the foresight to understand that it’s a very limited window of earning potential (how unstoppable did you think you were at 20 years old, “the future will always be in your favor”), and thus they spend it all in the blink of an eye. It’s sad, especially for the guys who “take care” of their friends/families (re: moochers), but it’s unsurprising.
veryangryowl58@reddit
It's a good explanation, but it doesn't really negate what I said - I know why they go bankrupt, but the fact is that they're briefly wealthy, they spend it like crazy, they stop being wealthy. I don't really have that much sympathy for guys who could very easily pay a financial advisor to set them up for life but choose to make bad decisions instead.
It's not all of them, though. Kirk Cousins, not born wealthy, famously drove his grandma's van for years after he landed the highest-guaranteed QB contract in history (80 million, I think).
PPKA2757@reddit
Agreed, thought I’d give some added context to those who aren’t as aware as to the “why” of your statement - 100% it’s on them. It’s shitty that many of them don’t have the foresight or get nudged in the right direction/have good financial advice (often times it’s the complete opposite - their “friend” will get hired to manage their finances who has no business doing so), but ultimately it is their own responsibility to manage their earnings in a way they see fit.
Guys like Kirk Cousins are the exception to the rule, both in terms of financial management capabilities AND career longevity, but he is a shining example of someone who treated his earnings with caution and responsibility. He had no idea he’d still be playing at 36 years old, he probably would have been fine if his career ended after his initial contract based on his financial prowess.
bremergorst@reddit
I’m going to have to ask my assistant to ask his assistant to have her assistant write a note about this comment and how I should reply with something witty.
They’re all on vacation with me at the moment, scuba diving in the Swiss Alps, so you’ll have to leave a message with one of their assistants.
PacSan300@reddit
A couple of anecdotes about this:
Billionaires like Warren Buffett quite often drive non-flashy cars and live in modest homes.
There was a story about a young woman in a restaurant who didn’t stand out in any way whatsoever, and the waiter only learned that the woman was Bill Gates’ daughter after her credit card showed her name.
non_clever_username@reddit
Buffett is just a notorious cheapass…lol.
Which doesn’t negate your point at all, but I don’t think he’s consciously not spending money on flashy stuff, he just mostly has the same mentality and spending that he did in like 1970 before he was rich.
Despite that, I did chuckle reading an interview with him once asking about extravagances he indulges in and he said “not much”, but then somewhat guiltily added “well it’s pretty hard to go back after you’ve done a few private jet flights.”
That’s a pretty huge exception there buddy.
SWMovr60Repub@reddit
He named his jet “Indefensible “
0rangeMarmalade@reddit
The only way to tell usually is when they unintentionally say something out of touch with reality but, unless you know them and interact with them regularly, that's pretty unlikely to happen.
jd732@reddit
“It’s one banana! How much could it cost? 10?”
God_Dammit_Dave@reddit
F' that banana. A SNICKERS's BAR is $4.50 in Penn Station.
The world has lost its mind.
SeeYouOn16@reddit
Nailed it. Wealthiest family I know have high hundreds of millions if not a billion. Dude drives a 10 year old Chevy Suburban and wears the same shit I wear from Costco. The difference is all their homes in exclusive places all over the country and the jet they own to fly to those homes.
BranchBarkLeaf@reddit
…….unless they’re nouveau riche.
stinatown@reddit
I see this sentiment often on Reddit and I’m not sure I actually agree. I suppose it probably depends on the context and level of wealth, but having spent time where wealthy people live, I can tell who they are.
For instance: part of my commute puts me on the Upper East Side of Manhattan a few times a week, specifically Park Avenue in the 70s. Looking at current real estate listings, I’m seeing homes listed from $1.1M to $22.5M in that stretch of neighborhood—so pretty upper-crusty folk.
The people I see who are residents—coming out of buildings, getting in cars, walking their kids to school, etc—have a very distinct manner and look. The women are 99% of the time very thin, white, with freshly styled hair, crisp and well-styled clothing, expensive looking shoes and handbags. The dogs that are walked in the neighborhood are usually purebred. The men are in suits or tech-coded Patagonia vests. There’s a legion of Escalades parked outside of the doormen building. The kids are in private school uniforms. They are rarely carrying groceries or pushing strollers because there’s hired help available for those tasks.
I also have a friend who had a family home on Nantucket, and I would spend a week there with her each summer. Similar, though more casual, vibe there—there’s a very tasteful and curated fashion, the overwhelming majority is thin and white, they wear understated jewelry and drive the same few varieties of cars.
So no, it’s not ostentatious wealth with people flopping out wads of hundreds or wearing gaudy jewelry or Balenciaga-logo-blasted clothes, but wealth is easy to spot in these places, I think.
Now, I also have a friend whose stepfather sold his company and made a very comfortable life for himself. I don’t know his exact net worth but I know it’s in the millions. If you saw him or my friend’s mom on the street, you would never know it from their clothes or cars or jewelry. But they do take a private plane to their vacation spots.
Anyway. Just food for thought.
tcrhs@reddit
The richest person I know dresses like a bag lady. You would never believe she is a multi-millionaire.
BookLuvr7@reddit
They may try to blend in, but their kids often fail that test.
crazycatlesbian29@reddit
Upper class in America is less of a class thing, and more of a wealth thing, there’s four main categories that I can think of that all act very differently:
New money: these people acquired their wealth within their lifetime and like to flaunt it with designer items, multiple houses, expensive vehicles, etc. They can be very disrespectful to their housestaff since they don’t appreciate what they have.
Old money: grew up with money, treats it like no big deal. These people often wear tailored clothing that looks like a really nice version of normal clothes, for example a T-shirt and jeans. These people are more respectful to their staff since they grew up around people like them.
Tech billionaires: these people own big tech companies. They often dress like normal people, but paradoxically are awful to the normal people that run their companies. They also have trouble interacting like normal humans.
Upper middle class: these people live an ideal middle class lifestyle (house in the suburbs or apartment in the city, car, kids, etc) with better things than most middle class people. They have bigger houses, nicer cars, nicer clothes, probably a boat, maybe a second house. These people are usually doctors or lawyers or very successful small business owners.
BadgerRed@reddit
How did you decide on these stereotypes? All techies are autistic? All upper class have house staff? And depending on if they're old or new money determines how they are treated? Have you ever met anyone upper class?
LeGranMeaulnes@reddit (OP)
I am wondering what happened to the American upper class as a social phenomenon - those who read Shakespeare, had silverware made of solid silver, got into the traditional universities back when it was not common, played tennis or rowed and who had a more British way of life. Eg in the video they discuss Charles Dickens’ books, current economic policy (at the time of the video) etc. It was a mentality of being well-educated / well-rounded.
LeGranMeaulnes@reddit (OP)
I’m not sure if I should make a different post about it
manicpixidreamgirl04@reddit
In the US, when we say 'upper class', we're referring to people who have a lot of money, rather than people who come from an upper class background. So there's a lot of variation, which makes it hard to answer this question.
neorealist234@reddit
New vs old money has very different behavior.
People also conflate rich with wealth. Wealth is the accumulation of so much capital, that you couldn’t actually spend it all on stuff, even if you tried.
BranchBarkLeaf@reddit
Gore Place in Waltham! That’s as far as I got. I’ll listen to the rest later.
Times change. Things change and evolve. Does this still exist? Not so much anymore.
jrhawk42@reddit
There's really no singular type of upper class American. There are types but it wildly varies from family to family.
It typically goes old money, and new money. Old money are people who generally born into their wealth, and social class. They typically have more traditions and think there is a certain way to behave in upper class. New money tends to be people who jumped class or parents jumped class while they were younger. Old money hates new money and new money typically tries to fit in by flaunting wealth which old money hates especially since it's pretty mundane stuff to them.
Then you have rich and wealthy. Rich people typically need to work, or do something to generate income. Also a few mistakes, or bad luck can drain a rich person's finances. Wealthy people don't really need to do anything except not be complete fuck ups, and even then if the trust is setup correctly they probably still don't need to worry. Most the time people are talking about rich people when they say upper class, and have no experience dealing with wealthy people.
nowhereman136@reddit
If you watch Family Guy, Lois' parents and their friends all speak with an aristocratic New England accent. It's mostly a stereotype anymore and people don't actually talk like that anymore
https://youtu.be/HyPnHIHS_Wk?si=aHUr_o2OkGYNmrAK
Current_Poster@reddit
For most of them, the biggest thing they buy with their money is privacy and anonymity. For every Trump or Hilton, there's a dozen actually upper-class people who never make the media.
tarheel_204@reddit
The old money people I know are actually typically pretty low-key about having money and for a lot of them, you wouldn’t even know.
Usually, the people that always talk about how much money they have usually don’t have all that much to begin with or they’re swimming in debt
Jakebob70@reddit
Wealthy people tend to remain wealthy by not buying expensive cars, clothes, etc... So they look just like the rest of us for the most part.
PlusAd423@reddit
Like Thurston Howell III.
albertnormandy@reddit
Why did he bring all his money on a three hour tour? Was he fleeing the country? We demand answers.
PlusAd423@reddit
That wasn't all his money, it was just enough to support him and Lovey for three hours you peasant.
the_real_JFK_killer@reddit
The minnow was an inside job
albertnormandy@reddit
He must have slipped Gilligan a few million to sabotage every time they were almost rescued.
mosiac_broken_hearts@reddit
He had bigger things to fear than cushy a deserted island with a professor to keep problems at bay
Raving_Lunatic69@reddit
Who do you think P Diddler learned from?
OhThrowed@reddit
I don't think we've ever had "upper class" in the same way other countries have.
invinciblewalnut@reddit
Maybe in the older days of pre- and mid-industrialization there was a “landed gentry” but not anymore for sure.
Curmudgy@reddit
Hard to say. Watch “The Gilded Age” or research it.
buried_lede@reddit
Some of those accents are fading. There is a corresponding Manhattan, NYC accent that hasn’t been very prominent and widespread since the 70s, I’d say. They still exist, just not as much
lokland@reddit
Yes. But it’s not uniform, obvious, or as hereditary like it is in other countries. But we do in fact have a class of rich people. Curb Your Enthusiasm is a great showcase of their mannerisms for specifically the rich Jews & rich WASP stereotypes. However, the general upper class prefers to keep things simple. They live in houses that look like any other suburban home, the only difference is theirs are always clean because they hire cleaning services. But largely, the middle-class and upper class are more similar than different in America, compared to the wild class discrepancies I’ve seen in the UK, Japan, or Mexico.
Mountain_Man_88@reddit
So varied that it's difficult to make broad sweeping generalizations about them. In general, most people see themselves as some level of middle class no matter what. Middle class is just seen as normal and most people identify themselves as normal. The family who buys all new cars and has multiple vacation homes is normal. The family that owns one 20 year old car and rents a home that doesn't have enough rooms for all the kids to have their own sees themselves as normal.
I've met rich people that were down to earth and I've met rich assholes. I've met poor people that are down to earth and I've met poor assholes.
flossiedaisy424@reddit
There used to be a lot more separation between classes. The wealthy only socialized with each other from schooling to vacations to work and everything in between. It’s only since the 1st world war that boundaries started to get crossed. More people from the lower classes had access to education and therefore better jobs and more money themselves. The number of truly wealthy people increased and the old money ability to stay insular gradually decreased, leading to the disappearance of these sorts of distinct accents.
Visible-Shop-1061@reddit
There are many more different types of people these days that have a lot of money. I went to a fancy private school for high school and everyone seemed pretty much the same. There were some people who seemed more rich but I realized later that wasn't necessarily the case.
For instance, I had one friend whose father made a bunch of money in the stock market. The father grew up middle class in Brooklyn. From what I gather, they have at least $30 million, probably at least a bit more. My friend's job now is just managing a portion of the family money.
I knew another guy who was sort of a hippie-ish guy. He was a good football and lacrosse player who smoked weed and liked the Grateful Dead. His dad was a doctor, who didn't really seem to practice medicine much. After college his dad bought him a small property that he made into a farm. It turns out he and his dad and their other family members were all beneficiaries of a trust fund. You would never have known this, but it makes sense once you start wondering how they supported themselves off of this hobby farm.
I knew yet another hippie-ish trust fund kid. I had no idea. His great grandfather was an important military leader in WWII and I suspect after that some members of the family where able to make a good deal of money in the stock market. My friend's dad had worked in some form of business but then became an elementary school teacher. My friend went to college in California, then played in a band. He moved to Nashville, playing in the band and working for music venues. He eventually bought a very modest homestead property in Tennessee and spends his time fixing it up and working the land. I can't be certain, but I believe he just gets a trust fund payment every month or year.
GingerPinoy@reddit
There was a section of my high school boundaries that was crazy rich. You'd have no idea someone was from there, they didn't wear it on their sleeves at all. That's been my experience with most rich Americans, don't really flaunt it all that much, but your mileage may vary.
I remember I had a friend who actively avoided having people come over to his house, because his house was huge and the family was rich. You'd have no idea based on his interests and behavior
MortimerDongle@reddit
I know some "old money" people and they do not have distinct accents, so I suspect that's mostly or entirely gone.
pumainpurple@reddit
I am old enough to remember the presence of the upper class in the US. Currently those who would be considered that class either control their exposure or are flying under the radar.
inthenameofselassie@reddit
America (in my opinion, at least) does not have the same type of classist social system in place like many countries in Europe, for example.
Populism has had very huge surges here in the past 200 years.
CupBeEmpty@reddit
And we are absolutely going through a populist wave right now, particularly on the right whereas historically populism has been more of a left wing ideology.