ULPT Request: I’m willing to do most anything short of prison time for a job.

[-]

realdonaldtrumpsucks@reddit

So you need to revise your resume, if you’re not getting jobs it’s the resume.

Take something off, change some Titles. Are you over qualified for what you’re applying for?

[-]

Normally this is my advice but we’re currently in the worst white collar and jobs recession in living memory. All of my friends getting laid off by FAANG companies can’t find anything and I mean anything within 6-12 months of unemployment typically. It’s the scariest market I’ve ever seen and no one knows when it’s gonna come back. I’m worried that we’re sending all our jobs overseas post Covid and white collar work is basically gonna shrivel up in the next 5 years. I’ve never seen anything like it.

[-]

notyosistah@reddit

And yet, the economy is "improving" and unemployment is "down". So say the ivory towers.

[-]

alien_abduction@reddit

Yeah I have never disagreed more with the jobs reports than I do now. I work in recruitment and those numbers they keep sharing are not accurate at all. I sound like a loon saying it’s a big conspiracy but at this point I don’t know what to believe anymore because there is no way unemployment is at 4.1%. It’s just not reality

[-]

notyosistah@reddit

They'll tell us any lie they think will maintain their status quo. Do they think those of us actually LIVING this reality can't see what's really going on?! They make me homicidal.

[-]

fluffy_assassins@reddit

Wait till AI gets a little more agency.

[-]

alien_abduction@reddit

I keep telling myself that people survived the invention of the car and the automation of farm labor so we’ll figure something out as a society but it’s hard to say what comes next from here. For the first time in my life I’m considering getting into a blue collar job (I’ve held plenty but only temporarily) because I just don’t see a path forward for my service industry at all. I think we’re gonna automate these jobs and people keep saying we’ll get UBI out of it but I know our oligarchs would rather have 30-50% unemployment before they agree to pay a dime in extra taxes. I think the wealth has just been sucked up in this country and there’s no more capital to spread around.

[-]

fluffy_assassins@reddit

We won't get 50% unemployment. They will intentionally stagger the downsizing so people starve before they "get in the way".

[-]

Gsogso123@reddit

Chatgpt is your friend. It’s very simple to use, can be learned well enough to make a solid resume in 30 minutes tops

[-]

irreverent-username@reddit

Reddit hates AI generated content, but this is just good advice.

And if you think it's unethical to use AI, this is the right sub, anyway.

[-]

MoaiPenis@reddit

Chat gpt has helped me get interviews lined up with cover letters it wrote for me. I send my resume and the job description and it tailors it with key words so it stands out.

[-]

mr53xy@reddit

Could you share the prompt please?

[-]

MoaiPenis@reddit

The prompt can be as messy and low effort as you want. The key thing is you make it clear what result you want (a resume, cover letter etc) as long as the prompt contains all the information about you you'd put on the resume. Or if you have a resume, you can send that and then tell it to write a cover letter and then paste the job description as well. It can be 1 giant message just use separation phrases like: Here's my resume: [paste resume or info about yourself] Here's the job description: [paste entire job description] Write me a cover letter pls

Then send 👍. Good luck with your job search

[-]

Gsogso123@reddit

I am sure you can optimize and the app has a resume optimization section but just using the main prompt and asking it to write your resume or tailor your resume works great

[-]

WalletFullOfSausage@reddit

Funny enough, I immediately throw away any application that I get that reeks of GPT. Once you know what the writing style is, you start looking for the telltale signs.

And if you can’t even use enough brainpower to come up with a 2 paragraph cover letter, I don’t think I trust you to perform the job.

[-]

LazyPhilGrad@reddit

Resumes written by/with chatGPT are like boob jobs. You can spot the bad ones a mile away but the good ones are indistinguishable from the real thing.

[-]

MoaiPenis@reddit

Exactly. Key thing is you provide gpt with your unique info and even a sample of something you wrote so it can mimic your style

[-]

MoaiPenis@reddit

Lol well you do you but I give it a sample of things I actually wrote before so it matches my style. So good luck spotting AI with me 😉

[-]

Gsogso123@reddit

I don’t get why people would think it’s unethical. I want my employees to utilize all available resources to do the best job possible and ChatGPT fits the bill.

[-]

HottestLittleBeef@reddit

My sister just today turned my meh resume into a champions resume using nothing but ChatGPT and some brains. 100% recommend

[-]

Gsogso123@reddit

It even works if you only have half a brain, ask me how I know lol

[-]

waelgifru@reddit

Get a government job: state, local, fed. They all prioritize hiring veterans.

[-]

Bad-Genie@reddit

If you want to degrade yourself, usps will hire a dead guy on the sidewalk.

[-]

waelgifru@reddit

That's a good federal job though. Unsure how it's degrading except for those goofy shorts they wear in hot weather.

[-]

Bad-Genie@reddit

That's only carriers.

The majority work in processing plants where we're overworked and underpaid. The starting wage is $17.85, much less than carriers, and management micromanage every step of the way. New people are constantly degraded, and favoritism is rampant.

[-]

waelgifru@reddit

I didn't know it was that bad, thanks for the info.

[-]

Nacho_Therapy@reddit

Drop a line with the IRS. They're still hiring like crazy after four decades of being starved. I'd recommend you apply for Revenue Officer, specifically: With your education, you'd start at GS-09. That's decent money!

If there's an IRS job fair near you, move heaven and earth to go to it. Even if you have to drive two hours out of your way. They do an expedited hiring path at those events: If you succeed at the interview, they'll hand you your tentative job offer that very same day.

If you can't do an in-person event, go to one of their virtual information sessions. They'll literally tell you what you need to do to succeed.

[-]

I_luv_ma_squad@reddit

Not anymore. They changed that about 10 years ago, at least in my state.

[-]

ttchoubs@reddit

Can be good advice but there's still a lot of applicants for gov jobs, especially if it's an entry level position that doesn't require a college degree. Also the wait is insanely long. I work for the county and the time between applying, interviewing and getting the job was about 7 months. Some jobs didn't contact me for interviews till 8 months after applying.

[-]

LevelUpCoder@reddit

I applied to mine in April or May of last year and started in November and people thought I must have been the greatest applicant in the history of my office because I got in so fast.

[-]

LetsGoHokies00@reddit

he’s right it takes forever but if OP still has a clearance it could go faster

[-]

Flaky-Wallaby5382@reddit

And anyone sucking the CMS teet

[-]

disco_spiderr@reddit

Not just gov. Trade unions prioritize through the helmets to hardhats program

[-]

rory888@reddit

literally look up usa jobs dot gov

[-]

Significant_Salad_61@reddit

Construction labourer, 34 bucks an hour at a minimum with no experience. Hard to find good workers

[-]

Ok_Entrepreneur_9157@reddit

Where I need that job I’m in Santa Barbara

[-]

AcceptableOwl9@reddit

I’ve thought about this but I have no idea where to go to even get started. I don’t see construction jobs near me on indeed. I don’t know any construction workers who can help me get a foot in the door.

[-]

Significant_Salad_61@reddit

Not sure what country your in to be able to give more specific advise but. Have a look at construction companies websites and they ysuly have a careers pages or button that may have a link to job openings or contact information for you to send your resume in

[-]

AcceptableOwl9@reddit

Connecticut, USA to answer your question

I’ll poke around online. I guess I shouldn’t have assumed they’d post on places like Indeed. It seems like a lot of large companies actually choose not to.

[-]

Significant_Salad_61@reddit

I've got no idea what the pay rates in construction in America is, the number I said was for south australia Australia. But yes, everything is worth a look at

[-]

AngelOrChad@reddit

Try working in the third world! Western Educated, Military Experience, they'll bite your hand off for a job! Maybe try being a mercenary soldier, or perhaps taking some sort of government advisory role if you're a goody two shoes(or want to use your MBA skills to get involved in the Ivory trade)?

Also, how long ago did you graduate, if it was recent you may be eligible for graduate schemes which you may have more luck with as an MBA if your business school was prestigious.

[-]

sage2134@reddit

Copy paste the job posting in white font on your resume turn it into a pdf and presto you will be filtered to the top of the pile of application's and no more bot putting your resume in the trash.

[-]

KUPA_BEAST@reddit

I don’t understand. But my educated guess is you mean the white font will be picked up by AI or something as a match and won’t filter you out?

[-]

sage2134@reddit

Basically, yes, and in a pdf, they are less likely to notice what you did. A lot of HR just use bots to filter candidates, and it has a lot of issues since HR arent tech people, so it filters out 90% of candidates or more even if they qualify.

[-]

only_have_bad_ideas@reddit

I can’t help on the income side but if you need need a “job” for a resume I have an LLC that needs a <> but we needed it filled <> and the owner of the the company is happy to take a direct call and say that he’s sorry to lose his best employee but understands that you are looking for other opportunities because <>

[-]

suitably_ginger@reddit

LIE. ON. YOUR. RESUME.

[-]

erhue@reddit

what kinda lying do you recommend? At this point, I'm about to do the same out of frustration.

[-]

propellercar@reddit

As long as you can back up those lies then you're good.

[-]

eLMilkdude@reddit

Then they're not lies at that point...

[-]

Coffee_exe@reddit

Reddit just teaching us how to customize resumes

[-]

suitably_ginger@reddit

Tell them what they want to hear. They want 2 years experience, you have 4. They list required skills, you have them all.

[-]

CUDAcores89@reddit

Anything? You mean ANYTHING!??

Okay, i'll tell you what to do!

Move.

That's it.

That's the "magic" solution.

Expand your job search to the entire country. And if you have a very specific skill, look beyond the USes borders and into moving to other countries. Tell any recruiters you are willing to pick up your entire life and move to their location on your own money. If you do this, you will find a job quickly.

[-]

piera_99@reddit

https://www.dol.gov/sites/dolgov/files/VETS/files/DOL-VETS-Resource-Guide-APR2024.pdf

Make sure to take advantage of all the non-illegal free resources available to you first! There are hundreds of veteran service organizations out there hoping to help people in your situation. This is a great guide to start.

Hire Heroes USA, Hiring our Heroes, Vet Jobs, HireMilitary, Recruit Military are some I know off the top of my head. They all offer job placement, internships, referrals and so much more. No cost to you at all and most programs are open to any discharge status.

[-]

GeraSun@reddit

How about applying for one?

[-]

SuspiciousStress1@reddit

What is your degree in, have you had any job experience? Where do you live/are you willing to relocate?

[-]

sherponie@reddit

No one can prove you weren't a regional manager for toys r us, radioshack, circuit city, blockbuster

[-]

SuspiciousStress1@reddit

This is horrible advice & could easily cause you to never be able to get a security clearance....which could easily cost lucrative jobs in the future(especially with that military experience)

[-]

Loeb123@reddit

Wait, Toys r us is gone?!

[-]

OttMom2018@reddit

Only in the US. Canadian Toys R Us lives on.

[-]

devilmaskrascal@reddit

Here in Japan too.

[-]

Gaijinloco@reddit

In the Middle East as well

[-]

Loeb123@reddit

I was so freaked out, like I saw one literally a week ago or so lol

[-]

toolsavvy@reddit

Actually they can. The HR records are still available for these large companies and most employers use large 3rd party employee verification services to check employment history.

[-]

Grendel0075@reddit

Most employers don't really bother checking.

[-]

big_duo3674@reddit

Depends what kind of job you're looking for. You're probably fine going for a middle level management position, once you hit about the 100k pay range though a lot of companies will probably be more thorough. Unless it's Boeing, you can probably get a lead researcher position there by saying you have a theoretical degree in physics

[-]

hdeezyt1300@reddit

Nice New Vegas reference!

[-]

SpareImportance2196@reddit

That doesn’t sound right because the defunct companies would no longer be paying them.

I don’t believe that anybody has been sitting on employment records for two decades just to do circuit city a solid.

[-]

veryblocky@reddit

They’re paid by existing companies doing the verification, not the defunct companies

[-]

SpareImportance2196@reddit

So it would have to be a coincidence that the company the potential employer uses is the same people that the previous company used?

[-]

Desert_Avalanche@reddit

They are data aggregators that buy and sell your history to each other. It doesn't have to be the original hr/payroll processing provider.

[-]

SpareImportance2196@reddit

I get that, but it isn’t something that was always the case.

[-]

Grendel0075@reddit

Pretty much.

[-]

scooberdoo2@reddit

Good so I shouldn’t apply to large companies lol 😂😂😂

[-]

toolsavvy@reddit

Even smaller companies use 3rd party verification services. It's much cheaper and more thorough that way and it opens that avenue for everyone.

[-]

InclinationCompass@reddit

Who's listing jobs that they had nearly 20 years ago?

[-]

KramerObscura334@reddit

Waldenbooks, B. Dalton, Books-a-Million 📚

Blockbuster, Hollywood Video 🎬

Radio Shack 💾

[-]

ActiveExisting3016@reddit

This is funny, but what about the major gap since then or other jobs not in managerial positions since then?

I feel like this would really only work for a company that just went defunct

[-]

ericfromct@reddit

Self employed

[-]

ActiveExisting3016@reddit

Ah, from manager to CEO!

[-]

dirtmother@reddit

Radio Shack is still around. Otherwise, good advice.

Prior to this comment, I've been telling people "no one can prove you weren't the drummer for Slipknot", but i guess we know who that is now. So I guess that advice is outdated.

[-]

goldenspiral8@reddit

Regional, lol, I was the national manager

[-]

rnernbrane@reddit

National... Pfft I was the fucking continental!

[-]

TresCeroOdio@reddit

Continental? That’s cute. I was the planetary manager.

[-]

Dense-Tangerine7502@reddit

You don’t want to make yourself sound too important. Otherwise they may think it was your fault the company failed.

[-]

Minion_of_Cthulhu@reddit

Just pick years that the company was doing great and hint, perhaps not so subtly, that they implemented a lot of your ideas. Of course, your resume will also show that you left just before the company tanked and everything went to hell since they were no longer listening to you.

[-]

hocrest@reddit

So then, you're the reason they failed?

[-]

Gsogso123@reddit

Assistant to the national manager?

[-]

timswife716@reddit

Unexpected Office. Love it!!

[-]

Christmas_Panda@reddit

Co-assistant national manager.

[-]

Gsogso123@reddit

Fancy title, I hope they can get that on a business card to impress their friends.

[-]

veapman@reddit

Master cheese maker for chucky cheese

[-]

Acrobatic_Bend_6393@reddit

Monger.

[-]

notyosistah@reddit

Monger manager.

[-]

hemzerter@reddit

I did this for my first student job lmao

I "worked" for two different big retail companies that shut down some months ago, plus some extras in a random bar I picked on google maps. All of this was fake but the reality is NOBODY will hire you if you don't alrrady have experience, so you have to fake it to have a first job.

I think it works only for low-level jobs though, as the better jobs will be more controlled and the higher your job, the bigger the chances that at least one of your potential future colleagues will have already met the real person working in the position you pretend to have had

[-]

weary_dreamer@reddit

someone did this for a restaurant I used to manage that closed after a very successful run. Their bad luck that I was the one interviewing them. He had himself down as a former kitchen manager. It was very funny because the actual kitchen manager was working with me at the new restaurant.

[-]

hemzerter@reddit

Lmao either you live in a 150 inhabitants town, or the guy is the unluckiest man ever

[-]

weary_dreamer@reddit

id say unlucky. the restaurant that closed was very well known so I can see why he picked it as a resume fluffer, but of all the places to submit it, he went with the restaurant that picked up more than half the previous place’s staff

[-]

Grendel0075@reddit

Got an art director job shortly after college, by listing past employment as an art director at a local company that had shut down.

I just wouldnt lie to get a job someone's life may depend on, like a doctor.

[-]

SpareImportance2196@reddit

I didn’t use the regional manager position, but I have absolutely done this on my résumé.

I worked retail back in the day and due to a string of lazy worthless bosses that dumped their responsibilities on everybody else, I absolutely knew all the details of their jobs and how to perform the tasks… which is how I got through the interviews after claiming I had been in much better positions than I was

[-]

Grendel0075@reddit

I've been in the same boat. I've handled payroll, inventory, orders, hiring and recruiting, firing, event planning, none of it anything in past job descriptions.

[-]

MrGoodOpinionHaver@reddit

lol yes they can but 95% of jobs won’t go through the trouble

[-]

Puzzleheaded_Win1252@reddit

What did you major in? Do you have a resume? Can you send it, maybe I can help out!

[-]

RedneckTrader@reddit

Have you thought about straight up bribing somebody? How hard would it be to find out who to hiring manager is and look up their socials. See if they hang out anywhere, maybe they go to a bar. Buy them a drink and slip them a 50, hundred, whatever it takes. Or dig up some dirt on them, maybe they got a record or a warrant they don't want no one hearing about. I'm not big on the whole threatening though, I find a carrot works better than a stick.

[-]

EtherealDaphne777@reddit

If you have any connections from other countries, lie and say you worked for a company outside of the states. Obviously make sure someone will be willing to lie for you if HR wants to check.

[-]

shieldtown95@reddit

Just lie. Lie on your resume. Lie on your application. Make up fake achievements. Just don’t put anything that can be fact checked…i.e don’t give yourself additional Degrees. If they ask for additional information to verify the truth just say you had an NDA and can’t.

[-]

Bland-fantasie@reddit

Then work every day waiting for the sword of Damocles to fall on your neck when you will be humiliatingly escorted out by security.

[-]

Duncanconstruction@reddit

Scenario A: Have no job at all

Scenario B: Have a job for 10 years and then they fire me and it's really embarrassing

I'd rather be embarrassed.

[-]

Bland-fantasie@reddit

“All right, you worked at Acme Pork Rendering Inc. for ten years, and left last month. Why did that job end?”

“Ah I just wanted to explore something new. I feel like I learned everything I could from Acme. The sulfur pits. The viscera sluice. The skin boiler. I worked them all and have the boiling oil scars to prove it.”

“Great, well the final formality for you to get this job as CEO of Google is checking with Acme Pork Rendering Inc. that you were the great employee you say you are. Is that okay with you?”

[-]

Duncanconstruction@reddit

99%+ of companies won't reveal anything other than confirming the dates you were employed. And if you're doing your job well, they're never going to investigate your work history after the probationary period is over.

At the end of the day, in the scenario you gave the WORST case is you're unemployed again. The options are literally lie and MAYBE get fired, or tell the truth and not get hired to begin with.

[-]

youy23@reddit

Hard agree.

Is it even embarrassing? I think embarrassing is companies advertising entry level positions with entry level pay and requiring experience.

[-]

Iconospasm@reddit

I've never been asked to prove my quals. I've got masters and loads of professional quals but it's easy to blag. They never check.

[-]

joyce_emily@reddit

They check, they just don’t tell you.

[-]

imlulz@reddit

To be fair you don’t know if they check or not, unless your degrees and quals are all lies

[-]

Iconospasm@reddit

Theoretically true, but I've been in all my jobs for long enough and held sufficient seniority and influence to ask the recruiters and HR folks 😉

[-]

DroneAttack@reddit

In the past I've seen people post about making fake positions at defunct startups for work experience, so that could be a thing.

[-]

unicornlocostacos@reddit

Jesus Christ I might be laid off soon and this whole thread is horrifying.

[-]

ChronicBedhead@reddit

I just lost my job last week. I understand the fear. You’ll be alright in the long run, man, you’ve got this.

[-]

unicornlocostacos@reddit

Thanks friend, and good luck to you too.

[-]

ArmadilIoExpress@reddit

Horrifying??

[-]

frys180@reddit

Prepare NOW! You see the signs. Get your ducks in order and get ready for battle

[-]

pterofactyl@reddit

Why? You’ve just seen how easy it is to exaggerate your experience

[-]

TheDumper44@reddit

Just don't lie about military service. Stolen valor is straight to jail.

[-]

Imaginary_Bug6294@reddit

Unless you are a vice presidential candidate

[-]

According-Ad5312@reddit

Wow! Interesting. Didn’t know about this

[-]

squeezeonein@reddit

the us military has their own legal system to prosecute and imprison their soldiers. given that they do medical experiments on their soldiers you really don't want to get on their bad side.

[-]

darthstupidious@reddit

Technically, stolen valor is only prosecutable if you received something of monetary value. So you won't get thrown in the slammer for putting it on your resume, per se, but it's a different ballgame if you then get hired.

[-]

CitizenPremier@reddit

You could still claim to have been a mercenary though, if for some reason you wanted to pretend to have military experience.

[-]

rory888@reddit

Easier to join reserves, national guard, coast guard etc. Better that than lying

[-]

Born_Cod_5467@reddit

How do we know your not lying about that are writing to us from jail right now 🤔

[-]

Gsogso123@reddit

Why would he be in jail if it’s a lie and not a crime? Something totally unrelated?

[-]

fishtacos8765@reddit

YES. I started giving myself awards. Who will know?

[-]

setzke@reddit

Have you tried moving? I work in a tourist hotspot but the season is about to end. You can find other seasonal gigs on coolworks.com where some even have employer provided housing & meal plans. They usually are for college kids but generally need people. Idk if winter stuff is there but where I am, it's not uncommon for people to put their life on pause for 6 months and send rent back home and then goof off in the off-season.

[-]

limpy-yeti@reddit

Bro i had the same problem. Just lie in your resume about a job in another country. Try canada if you are in the States

[-]

neigelthornberry@reddit

Start a business.

[-]

xselfbiasresistorx@reddit

Hold it. You are a veteran. You’ve got a Bachelor’s Degree and an MBA. You are a parent. You might be overwhelmed with life, due to being underwhelmed with where you are career-wise. But you are NOT a failure. I’m going to PM you.

[-]

Spirited_Video6095@reddit

Literally the only one who gets support in these threads. It could be "I'm a methed out homeless man who is also a deadbeat dad but I'm a fuckin veteran" and the crowd will cheer and he'll get a million karmas on Reddit.

[-]

DvSzil@reddit

It's the crazy chauvinistic US culture. You may be down in the dregs, but as long as you shot a rifle for the interests of the biggest empire in human history, you get a bit of an extra shot at redemption

[-]

ArmadilIoExpress@reddit

lol that’s not what chauvinistic means.

[-]

DvSzil@reddit

chauvinism /shō′və-nĭz″əm/ noun

1.Militant devotion to and glorification of one's country; fanatical patriotism.

Prejudiced belief in the superiority of one's own gender, group, or kind.
Blind and absurd devotion to a fallen leader or an obsolete cause; hence, absurdly vainglorious or exaggerated patriotism.

[-]

-DressWELL@reddit

Jingoistic would be the better and more correct word to use.

[-]

DvSzil@reddit

I didn't give that much thought into the original comment, and I think you're right

[-]

ArmadilIoExpress@reddit

None of those definitions make sense in the context that you used the word, but thanks.

[-]

wishesandhopes@reddit

It has a broad definition. "a person displaying aggressive or exaggerated patriotism" per Oxford

[-]

ArmadilIoExpress@reddit

Not really, it’s pretty specific.

[-]

wishesandhopes@reddit

Well, the two listed definitions from Oxford are "a person displaying excessive or prejudiced support for their own cause or group, in particular a man prejudiced against women." and the aforementioned one from my previous comment; those are both pretty different. Why do you think the commenter you replied to used it incorrectly?

[-]

ArmadilIoExpress@reddit

getting a more favorable response on a reddit post is "displaying excessive or prejudiced support for their own cause or group"? or do you think that displays male prejudice against women?

hint: it's neither.

[-]

wishesandhopes@reddit

He was referring to US military culture being chauvinistic, which is a correct usage of the word.

[-]

ArmadilIoExpress@reddit

lol no they weren't. your reading comprehension sucks.

You're really upset over this for some reason, lol.

and now gaslighting? oof, you really don't like being wrong huh

[-]

wishesandhopes@reddit

Lmao, proving my point. just because you can't read and someone calls it out doesn't make it "gaslighting", but I guess you read a new word on Reddit and wanted to use it.

[-]

ArmadilIoExpress@reddit

nope, accusing me of being "really upset over this for some reason" is textbook gaslighting. I'm having a great morning so far. you're just trying to paint me as some rageaholic or something because I pointed out that they used the wrong word. try harder lil buddy

[-]

Krxnxz@reddit

Jesus u must be bored…assuming your emotion based off of the very obvious pedantic nature you’re showing is not gaslighting, if anything you’re creating a fallacy so you don’t have to acknowledge where you fucked up and did too much lol.

[-]

ArmadilIoExpress@reddit

yea pretty bored, waiting for next release so I can start on something new. seems like you are too huh

[-]

namerankserial@reddit

Isn't that...fair? There has to be some reward for joining up.

[-]

AeyeChemist@reddit

I hope they don't figure that out.

[-]

CitizenPremier@reddit

Are you sure they didn't make that part up too lol

[-]

folding_art@reddit

The blog Ask a Manger has some really good resume, cover letter and interview advice, lots of small things that you can do to improve your applications.
https://www.askamanager.org/2022/04/heres-a-template-to-make-writing-cover-letters-easier.html

[-]

imyy4u@reddit

Here's the real best tip - find an up-and-coming and preferably smaller/startup company, and get whatever job you can. Do outstanding work, and work your way up to a better position.

Failing that, attend networking events and make good friends. This is honestly the real best way to get a job - by knowing someone that is hiring.

What I can tell you, is actually applying for jobs online will likely get you nowhere these days. You're a needle in a haystack. Try applying in person, even if they recommend to apply online - you'll stick out and get attention that way.

[-]

mmmjkerouac@reddit

Are you getting interviews but no job offers? You need to polish up on your interviewing skills.

[-]

Montanabioguy@reddit

I'm a recruiter for a DoD contractor. If you're interested in overseas I can likely get you 100k+

[-]

MassivePE@reddit

A veteran with an MBA would have no trouble getting a federal job. This is bait.

[-]

ImpossibleBasket8374@reddit (OP)

Nope. Honorable discharge. Can you point me in the right direction? The 50 plus applications I’ve got on USA Jobs haven’t gotten any traction. Please don’t accuse me of lying or insinuate that my service was anything but honorable. It’s wonderful that you have such a firm grasp on your career and its trajectory; I envy that. Unfortunately, I have yet to climb to your level of wisdom and clarity. Do you know of another resource for federal employment you can point me to? I’m all for conversation but it seems you’re just interested in confrontation.

[-]

wardearth13@reddit

McDonalds will hire you

[-]

FTWkansas@reddit

I’m former mil with an MBA. I’m hiring but you have to work hard.

[-]

Asid94@reddit

Just work at the jail. Union job.

[-]

Tellmeg@reddit

Hey - I 100% feel your pain! My hubby got laid off his job of 24 years a year ago as of November and he's not had a single bite! Not a single interview! Nothing but ghost jobs posted online.

Honestly, my brother-in-law was in the same position, but he recently found employment and I reached out to him last week to find out if he had any tips/tricks to offer us and he told us that he used a paid service to redo his résumé and update his LinkedIn.

And he's got a PhD, but apparently he didn't get any bites until he did this as well. My recommendation is to look into one of these services and consider contacting a recruiter. Like a real recruiter.

I know with the $700 package. My husband and I are considering, they guarantee a legitimate interview within the first 60 days of completing your résumé - so we figured it's worth giving a try, but I know exactly how you feel!

at this point, I am literally half tempted to start baking cookies and shipping them off to the VPs of every company. My husband wants to work for along with a QR code to his résumé! Sometimes you gotta think outside the box.

[-]

TurboSleepwalker@reddit

Is he too lazy to work at a Piggly Wiggly?

[-]

Skyblacker@reddit

Retail is a young man's game. Middle aged knees may not up to standing and walking for a whole shift.

[-]

TurboSleepwalker@reddit

I see plenty of 50 and 60+ folks working retail. I respect them greatly for doing so. The commenter's husband is simply too high & mighty and lazy. At the very least, there are plenty of hotel front desk jobs out there in literally every town.

[-]

Skyblacker@reddit

The problem is that when retail sees office work on a resume, they know the applicant views them as a placeholder and will ditch the moment offices hire again. And since her husband has done that 24 years, he can't delete it from his resume and have anything else left.

[-]

DextrousGolem@reddit

Union trade apprenticeships would be happy to have a veteran

[-]

Tb1969@reddit

AI can be used to write cover letters if you feed it the job description so you hit the keywords that the automated resume systems look for.

[-]

AcceptableOwl9@reddit

This is what I’ve been doing. I feed it my resume, the job description of the job I want, and the job descriptions of the jobs I’ve had if I can find them. Then I tell it to rewrite my resume and a cover letter for the job I’m apply for.

It does a great job.

[-]

CitizenPremier@reddit

Name changes help, sadly. If you have a non standard name you could change it, or you could adopt a very standard white name for your resume. When they get to a point of asking for ID explain that you have an "ethnic" name but you go by your new name because you love America. At that point they know they'll have a news article about them if they get upset about it.

[-]

Skyblacker@reddit

You'd probably want to put your real name in the "aliases" section of that job application, though, so it doesn't look like you're hiding it. Hopefully, the hiring manager would only see your white name, while your real name would only be entered by HR for a background check.

[-]

SpoonFed_1@reddit

"A mad man, you honor. A desperate fool at the end of his pitiful rope." - Liar, Liar

[-]

pennywitch@reddit

Get an admin job in healthcare. Plenty of room to grow, lots of paths, insane job security.. In the sense that someone will always be hiring..

[-]

Rich-Canary1279@reddit

Hear me out...have you ever considered working as a deputy in a state prison? Depending on your locale, can be decent pay and benefits, low risk of violence (much lower than street patrol), pretty easy physically - often lots of downtime, and a lot of opportunity to do good/have an impact, and field some crazy experiences and stories.

[-]

ArkAbgel059@reddit

My cousin is a prison guard and he talks about how many movies he watches

[-]

Rich-Canary1279@reddit

I worked in a health clinic at one - watching all those guys without college degrees watch netflix for 12 hours and make the same as me really had me reevaluating my life decisions 😂

[-]

MushroomItchy2753@reddit

That’s because prison guards laugh when inmates die on their watch, even if they are juveniles

[-]

aCandaK@reddit

It’s a mix. Kinda like most other professions - some care and some don’t. (I worked in a jail.)

[-]

ArmadilIoExpress@reddit

Touch grass

[-]

Ashamed_Hound@reddit

Postal service has jobs available and if you want to , you can move up pretty quickly into management. Go to USPS.gov. Look under careers.

[-]

Cormamin@reddit

But NOT RCA. Those are burner jobs, non-union usually for 1-2 years, and you'll "make your own schedule" by desperately calling every postal office near you weekly.

[-]

Carpe_PerDiem@reddit

My husband ended his years long unemployment streak by taking civil service exams.

Government jobs don’t pay super well but the benefits are fantastic and you can always go private sector later.

[-]

ferret_hunter702@reddit

Have you tried to join a laborers union? Go out and learn a trade and work hard and I promise you will find a job! It will suck at first because you will start out working your ass off on a shovel, but after sometime you will move up and start making some real money. Dm me if you need some more help and I’ll help you out.

[-]

You193@reddit

This will sound odd, but is your name an identifiable minority name? If so, change it on things you apply to and make it should like a white male or female. Look it up. Statistics show THAT is your problem.

[-]

electricianhq@reddit

You got an MBA and military experience and can't find one single job or are you looking more specific. If you can't find literally anything then you need a therapist.

[-]

saalamander@reddit

Yeah I've got similar qualifications as this guy and jobs are not hard to come by lol

Must've got useless degrees or he's just being dramatic

[-]

CMDR_PEARJUICE@reddit

I never finished college and I’m a Sr Manager at a mid-size software company. MBA is having trouble finding literally any job? Fuuuuck

[-]

kookykoko@reddit

I'm suspicious it might be his resume.

[-]

CMDR_PEARJUICE@reddit

Wondering A) how many applications OP is putting in per day and B) what kinds of jobs they’re pursuing, or what field at least.

Are they getting call backs? Do they have an unreasonable salary expectation that they share?

An MBA is going to hurt the ability to apply for more entry level jobs and I fear part of the issue may be a lack of relevant experience for senior roles. Between 2 candidates, appearing to be too overqualified can lead to the assumption you’d “move on” more quickly and doesn’t look good for a role that needs to stay filled, etc.

So much missing context

[-]

Iconospasm@reddit

100%

[-]

RusticBucket2@reddit

This comeback is so clever.

[-]

jtmarlinintern@reddit

What was your major? What business school? What did you do in the military? Maybe you are looking to get into a role that you think you can do or want to do, but the roles are not for you ?

Swallow pride and take an entry level role in an industry you want to get into

[-]

KoomValleyEternal@reddit

Go teach ESL?

[-]

CitizenPremier@reddit

Career seppuku

[-]

YaBoiRook@reddit

Join a labor union. The united brotherhood of carpenters and joiners of America has a program to get vets in. Helmets to hardhats.

[-]

snapppdragonnn@reddit

Change your ethnicity to meet the current HR bias - if you're a white male say you're Latino, or claim to be light skinned African American. White males are literally on a do not hire list at some large companies in the US because of woke infiltration of HR departments. Play the game to get hired.

[-]

postinganxiety@reddit

This is just complete bs

[-]

Extension_Growth5966@reddit

Yeah man, I’m 1/32 Cherokee. I’ve been kicking around the idea of applying as Native American.

Who are the to tell me about my culture!!

[-]

lapsangsouchogn@reddit

Try entry level at an insurance company. It's not a great job, but it puts you on the path to better jobs.

[-]

calmandreasonable@reddit

How many grocery stores have you applied to

[-]

Dry-humper-6969@reddit

He's highly educated, he isn't going to work at a grocery store!

[-]

calmandreasonable@reddit

Dude wants a job, they got jobs at the grocery store

[-]

Keelback@reddit

I tried that with my MBA but never even got a response. They don’t want you for whatever reason. I was stunned as I was desperate.

[-]

erhue@reddit

i guess they know that someone with an MBA already knows well enough to not easily get fucked over by abusive managers etc.

[-]

Born_Cod_5467@reddit

Your mom welcomes the applicants

[-]

calmandreasonable@reddit

Seems like you're upset by my suggestion

[-]

kwotsa@reddit

Why is this upvoted? Assuming some kind of weird murican shame 'my job is my identity' thing?

Job is a job.

[-]

InterestingCow7468@reddit

Hi I wouldn’t do anything unethical

[-]

EmpressofPFChangs@reddit

Do solo stuff on onlyfans

[-]

aCandaK@reddit

Unions. Free schooling in a skilled trade. Your MBA can help you to get on the administrative side once you learn your craft.

[-]

VerminSC@reddit

If you’re getting interviews, I hate to say it but it could be you/personality. I’d try for remote jobs so you can interview over the phone.

[-]

copperhead035@reddit

You sound like exactly what Amazon is looking for in an L4 Area Manager in one of their fulfillment centers, give that a shot

[-]

No-Selection-3765@reddit

Go work in tree removal. They won't even look at a resume. Just have all your limbs (pun intended).

[-]

Ok_Fig705@reddit

Just force them to hire you. All my friends got a job at DirecTV I said ain't no way you guys are ditching me. Called DirecTV told them I had an interview and I needed to be in training with all my friends. They said this isn't how it works I said hold my beer and Forced myself into that training giving 0 fcks about the hiring process

Sometimes you just fake it until you make it. I haven't done the traditional resume process in so long. I just force myself now into jobs. Confidence is key though

[-]

frys180@reddit

Wait are you serious?

(I'm very serious in asking this question)

[-]

Square-Practice2345@reddit

In some other subs I follow, people in them regularly say to fluff up your resume to get jobs. It’s not illegal, and a corporation is gonna fuck you over anyway, so you might as well abuse the system. It’s only illegal to lie on government documents. You also can’t lie and say you’re a doctor or lawyer.

[-]

toneboat@reddit

side ULPT request: fake references. anyone know of sites or services that provide them?

[-]

UnderstandingFit8324@reddit

What roles are you applying for?

Anything above entry level and you're probably overshooting.

The degrees etc don't cut out the entry level work - they reduce the time you spend in them and speed up your progression once in the door.

[-]

addismedeep@reddit

Pick your old-school local businesses family owned ect, become a regular face and ask often

[-]

rory888@reddit

Join military. Join MSC / boat jobs. Join government jobs. Hell, apply to prisons as a CO or apply to danger zone jobs

[-]

Iconospasm@reddit

If ethics and integrity aren't all that important to you, try being a salesperson, estate agent, or a politician. 😎

[-]

Acceptable_Ad1685@reddit

Have you applied to everything and anything on USAJOBS.GOV?

It takes a while to get a federal job but eh

Apply for the TSA and such

[-]

demsthebreaks12@reddit

Didn’t that lady that was president of Harvard just plagiarize papers and lie on her application. Not a better school then Harvard and she was their brightest. Sex shops are usually hiring. I knew a woman there and her job was to clean up the cum in the back booths. After 6 years of cleaning jizz she had enough. Hard worker and nice woman. I just worked the register and knew it wasn’t for me. To each their own.

[-]

toolsavvy@reddit

cleaning jizz

Well I'd say 6 years is pretty long time to be working a glory hole "cleaning jizz". She's a trooper.

[-]

Nhaiben369@reddit

City of San Diego is hiring financial analyst. With MBA they will take you in

[-]

gnilradleahcim@reddit

Obviously you're applying to stuff you're massively overqualified for, or are reaching very far for. Or you have some extreme red flag on your resume that's an instant turn off to anybody anywhere.

If you want a paycheck regardless of what it is, there are thousands of service industry / grocery / retail businesses that will hire you on the spot or in a day if you're that desperate. They're shit jobs but they're the difference between 0 dollars and a couple grand a month.

[-]

jdownj@reddit

Move/be willing to relocate for the right company.

[-]

toolsavvy@reddit

gawd, this is sooooooo unethical!

[-]

cuntsatchel@reddit

LFGGG so many options! I’m here for support🫶

[-]

Sealion_31@reddit

Pad your resume. Also see if you can use any connections you have. Rich people are always getting opportunities bc of connections, they still may have the qualifications but they’re getting their foot in the door by knowing someone.

[-]

Left-Requirement9267@reddit

Lie on your resume it’s easy

[-]

BobbyTheWonderPooch@reddit

DUDE! I'm in the same boat. Military, MBA, yada yada. I've been out of work for over a year now. It sucks. I think everyone's not hiring because they're afraid we'll sink into a recession any day now. They've been thinking that for oh... about 3 1/2 years now thanks to one Cheeto-faced AH and his rhetoric.

Keep your head up. Get with DAV, American Legion or VFW and see about VA benefits. Volunteer in your community and don't be shy about letting people know that the reason you have so much time to volunteer is that you're out of work. I've had a bunch of referrals from friends who know I'll buckle down and get a job done. That includes my last job where I got hired by a guy who'd seen how I handled things as a Boy Scout leader.

[-]

VastVorpalVoid@reddit

Rewind a bit. When you say you've been "networking," what are you doing exactly and what field are you targeting?

I could literally stumble blindfolded into a dozen job offers in my friends network, and at least a few soft leads through friends of friends and professional networks.

[-]