Need to get this off of my chest.

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FlopsAkaGlitchy@reddit

I've been driving for over 6 years now and still make mistakes, the road is full of people who kinda know what we're doing. This was a close call, and you should learn from it. Thankfully, nothing happened this time, but that's not promised next time. I quickly shut down backseat driver's by asking if they'd rather drive. As the driver, you're responsible if something happens. Telling people to mind their business when the safety of yourself and others is at risk is the right thing to do.

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damboy99@reddit

This was the reason I learned to drive with non family members and refuse to drive woth my grandmother.

You are driving you and only you are incharge of where the car goes, and it's your duty to drive safely

Tell her "I know where to go, so unless you want to drive, respectfully, shut up."

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Alternative-Jury-981@reddit

It’s much better to just miss a turn/exit than to cause an accident. Worst case everyone says “what the fuckkkk” and then you turn around. Ooo boy it took an extra 5 minutes

This is coming from someone who drives a 70ft truck for a living

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spyz66@reddit

If you're in a climate that snows when it does snow go to a park close to home safely and then once there get the feeling of losing traction and every time you lose control steer into which way your front end is facing so if you're going left steer left if you're going right steer right. Just keep calm through the situation because it will happen at least once to you.

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

Sorry for the late reply. I’m from west texas, so we don’t usually get a lot of snow, but we do get ice so I will definitely still do that. Thank you!

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Dry-Committee-9395@reddit

When in doubt, stay in your lane. My mom was TERRIBLE at “teaching” me how to drive, and would do stuff like that. The best thing I could do was ignore hee when she stressed me out and just stay in the lane I’m in to be safe. You can always take the next turn or turn around. I’ve been driving for 6 years, have driven over 130,000 miles, and still miss exits. It’s okay. It’s not a big deal. Much better to be safe, than sorry. The best thing to do is ignore the person yelling at you (ONLY if you’re in the correct lane & can keep going safely).

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Thing1A2@reddit

My dad taught me "if you are about to miss your turn DO NOT put yourself in danger to make it. You can always make another turn or turn around. It's much more difficult to fix an accident then to turn around or take a little longer to get there."

Also I would have pulled the car over the moment she started yelling at me and told her to shut tf up. I am driving. I need to focus on the road and the other drivers. You screaming at me is not helping. If she has an issue with it then get to the destination and from then on never drive her anywhere again. You'll learn there's certain people you just do not drive or even ride with.

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TBearRyder@reddit

We need more walkable and bike friendly communities. Everybody doesn’t need to drive.

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zerthwind@reddit

That is what a back seat driver does. That person userly stresses out the driver, and mistakes happen that make matters worse.

This same thing can happen to experience drivers in the same scenario.

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awfulcrowded117@reddit

No new driver is going to react well to be screamed at when driving. Your grandma is in the wrong here, and you need to either get her to not scream at you or just refuse to drive her anywhere, before she gets the both of you killed.

For future reference, it helps with driving stress to remember that as long as you drive safely, you can just turn around or find another route. Missing an exit will cost you a lot less stress than getting T-boned because you swerve across traffic. A few extra minutes is much less valuable than the rest of your life.

If you get into a tense situation, it is always better to just keep with the flow of traffic until you decide/know what to do than it is to make a snap decision that might put you ans others in danger. You can always turn around or take a different exit. You can't unwreck your car or get back someone's life.

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CountAggravating7360@reddit

Ah the good ol backseat driver routine. The only inexperience I see in this situation is it was your first time dealing with one of those types. First of all, anyone with a bit a common sense should know that you NEVER yell at any driver, let alone a newer driver for anything unless said driver is heading straight for an accident. There are 2 mistakes I see that led to this. 1)This was the bigger mistake that led to everything else. If you are comfortable going a certain way, stand your ground. I would have said something along the lines of "Well this is the I take, and Im driving, so feel free to walk if it's a big issue for you." And 2) I understand that this is hard in the hear of the moment, but you should have froze her out when she started yelling to turn now and just merely turned around or found a different way to that road at the next possible moment. But overall, if this is the worst youve done as a new driver, you are doing awesome. Just remember, no matter how new you are, YOU are the driver. YOU are the captain of the car, and you are well within your rights to tell your passengers to shut up or walk if they dont like your driving.

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TrainingTough991@reddit

When you get more experience, you will be able to filter out the yelling or other noise without it making you so nervous. You did a good job, grandma overreacted (probably scared of someone else driving) , it made you nervous. Hopefully, the yelling will cease.

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the-Bus-dr1ver@reddit

My mum was like this as a passenger until I yelled back, turns out if the choice is either be a good passenger or walk home, passengers behave

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

Lol I would try that if it didn’t mean I couldn’t drive either. I have to have someone licensed in the car with me to be allowed to drive rn

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InevitableRhubarb232@reddit

You’re supposed to have a licensed and responsible driver with you. Your great grandma does not qualify.

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the-Bus-dr1ver@reddit

Ohhh sorry I read quite fast, must have missed the but about still being a learner

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

Lol you’re good 😂😂

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Sdwars45@reddit

Duck tape homie

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alternate-ron@reddit

He’ll yeah they do, walking sucks

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Yalsas@reddit

Yup. Done this too. I've never yelled at my mom like that before, but god dammit do not keep giving me extremely vague instructions that are the opposite of what I need to be doing!! Both of our eyes got so wide, and she's been quiet ever since.

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MetalTrek1@reddit

I tell my 80 year old mom and my 77 year old aunt "My car, my rules". I love them both dearly, but they need to be reminded when being backseat drivers.

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NikocadosAsshole@reddit

I yelled back and got in trouble like I fucking know what I’m doing im not gonna miss the turn

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Enough-Bike6655@reddit

bro as a new driver also, we are gonna make at least one big mistake when we start driving. You survived, nothing bad happened, now take that moment when you were scared absolutely shizzless and let it make you a more aware and confident driver.

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ilovechickenwings20@reddit

Oh myyy first of all your grandma should be on your no no list for ppl that can get in your car😅 jkkk but honestly I would, see the driver has a say in how they want to arrive and what way they want to go! This same incident happened with my dad and me, my dad was telling this and that and I snapped at him saying that I get to choose what way I want to go or he can drive and shut it, he never said anything to me ever again. We all make mistakes and you wouldn’t be the first and last to do this, I do understand that the other driver was angry that you pulled a move like that but I’m sure he or she would’ve understood the incident if he would’ve seen what happened (your pov) I am also 19f lol, you were lucky that you and the other driver didn’t hit each other but be careful next time🫂🫂 take care🫂🫂<3

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Rukusduk11@reddit

Better safe than sorry

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MrMisanthrope12@reddit

Missing a turn is not the end of the world. It amazes me how many people (like your grandma) panic at the thought of missing a turn as if there will never be an opportunity to turn and come back.

I've missed turns. Sometimes I've had to find another 10 miles to the next highway exit to turn around and come back. So what? Not worth dying or killing someone else over.

Next time just miss the turn. Turn around at the next safest opportunity and come back. I promise you the world will continue turning.

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FitRegular3021@reddit

Backseat drivers need to keep their mouth shut. It can cause accidents.

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EnigmaGuy@reddit

You’re new to driving, take it as a learning experience. Chances are we’ve all made a bad driving choice we regret. No one was hurt so count it as a blessing.

I’m to the point now where I ignore the majority of passengers (usually my partner) when trying to direct me places. The only one I typically take advice from is my brother, and that is because he is a semi truck driver and knows most of the best routes to take with all the construction ongoing in our area.

I will punch in the address myself and that is the route we will take. No offense to grandma, but she’s not the one driving. I’ve been burned waaay to many times be the “You don’t need directions I’ll tell you where to go” and then as I am driving past the exit in the middle lane or thru the light they’ll say “You needed to get off/turn there!”

Like cmon man what good does that do when we’re already past the exchange?

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PickleFurBurger@reddit

I learned a long time ago to ignore people in the car and correct my mistake at the next exit, turn, light…whatever.

It pisses people off, but I’m driving. We’ll get there alive.

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chicago-6969@reddit

You simply CANT listen to anyone when you are driving. YOU are in charge, and have the responsibility of being safe. Don't let your Gramma or ANYONE bully you into crazy shit

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No-Agent-1611@reddit

I am a very safe driver had to make my (now ex) ride in the backseat bc he wouldn’t stop screaming out about things. We almost wiped out in a snowstorm because he saw a deer 100 yards off to the right. I had already seen it. He just screamed like he was being eaten by a bear.

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themurhk@reddit

I was in the right hand lane of a two lane, one way street. I didn’t realize it was a one way street, my passenger told me I needed to turn and it was coming up quickly. I tried to turn left and banged up a pretty pricy car. It wasn’t bad, and no one was hurt. We learn from our mistakes, and they happen as a new driver. It’s part of the reason your insurance typically costs more.

Moving forward, never do anything in a panic, or for fear of missing a turn, or making someone upset, whatever it is. If a turn is coming up too quickly for you to assess the safety of your turn, or you’re in the wrong lane, so what? Travel down and turn around, or use a different route. Most important part of driving is getting everyone there safely.

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rosenante00@reddit

Well you’re already gonna crash because you’re learning how to drive from an 87 yr old grandma. Yeah good luck with that

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

My grandma teaches me more than my great grandma, I just really wanted to go somewhere and my grandma didn’t want to go. So you take your pick. 87 yr old great grandma or 56 yr old grandma.

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rosenante00@reddit

I’d ask quite literally anybody other than those 2 options. A friends parent who isn’t 80. a driving instructor, another family member. Anything 😂

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

Well my grandma is actually competent and knows how to drive safely and doesn’t scream at me while I’m driving

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Dug_n_the_Dogs@reddit

In a scenario like that the best advice I can give you is that its OK to miss a turn and turn around later or just make 3 left turns to make a right.. Being safe is always better than being on time if it compromises being safe.

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Mung7777@reddit

Stop listening to grandma. Passengers should be quiet and let a driver focus. If you mis a turn..oh well. Good thing is, cars turnaround. No one lost anything but time, but if you listen to your passengers like you did with grandma. Someone may lose a lot more next time. If they want to drive, they should be in the driver seat. Let them know their back seat driving will not be tolerated in the future. If they continue, they will need to take an uber. Where they have more of a right to complain.

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Jenkins1990@reddit

In the words of Kratos: “In moments of crisis, panic does nothing. Harness it, let it serve you.” You’re the one driving, not her. Stay calm and trust your instincts. A missed turn can be corrected but an accident could’ve ended very poorly.

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Ok_Cryptographer1465@reddit

Nawwww bro u like me frfr. I fking HATE when passengers are trying to navigate a destination for me, when i already know the route. Im so serious it happens all the time and its so annoying, i just yell back bro. If u looking for a solution from me bro, just yell back at ur grandma that u got it, that u know the way. U r right. U r the driver. It is ur fault that u made that mistake, just like it is ur responsibility to yell at OG G-MA if she is distracting you from driving properly my brutha.

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G30fff@reddit

stress is a huge issue when driving. If you are under stress, you make bad decisions, you become reactive, you don't think properly. Having someone in the car with you who creates that stress is therefore dangerous, particularly when you are inexperienced. If you have to drive your great-grandma around you need to either ask her to be a clam passenger or find a way to ignore her. But you nearly killed yourself today, and some other people and so you can't in good conscience allow that situation to occur again.

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

I absolutely agree. I told her on the way home she needs to stop yelling at me and she apologized later in the day, but again I do know I should have just ignored her and took the next street over. I got incredibly lucky that nobody got hurt today.

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mother_octopus1@reddit

I would tell her that if she ever does it again she’s going to have to find somebody else to drive her around.

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wutato@reddit

Don't drive with her again, or take the route you know until you're more comfortable driving. She should have just let you miss the turn and come back a different way, or she should have explained directions better. "Once you turn, get over to the rightmost lane and be prepared to make an immediate right" or something. If she can't give better directions or stay calm, do not drive with her.

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G30fff@reddit

my experience is that she won't change. I have been driving for many years and sometimes my wife still suddenly yells out about things I have already seen. Or gasps and grips the side of her chair ostentatiously. When she does this, it makes me suddenly think "argh what the fuck!" and then she says she saw a hazard down the road which I had already spotted and accounted for. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her that trying to panic me when I'm driving is not a good idea, she can't help herself.

So maybe try and mentally prepare yourself for this next time you take her out. Writing this down I see this is advice I need to take myself!

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

I really appreciate your help. That’s definitely something I’m trying to work on in general with her (I live with her) so I suppose there’s no time like the present!

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LameBMX@reddit

never turn "now" in the age of gps in our pockets that can reroute instantly. if you haven't already made the turn (or merge) in your mind, start taking the next turn (or merge) in your mind as the current one goes by. always be mentally in front of your actions, and don't rush. if you're running late, then you're already late. accept that and drive normal.

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Neat-Substance-9274@reddit

OP, one of the best things to learn is that a missed turn is just a missed turn. Nothing that cannot be fixed. Almost all of the stupid things I see involve folks making last minute decisions. Sometimes the mistake will mean driving a few miles out of your way. So What? Just remember that waiting or going out of your way takes so much less time than getting into an accident.

Here is another bonus tip: three rights make a left. In the city this can be a lifesaver. Busy downtowns are impossible to make left turn in. Often during parts of the day it is even illegal. But if you go past the street you need to go left on, turn right on the first street you come to, go down and turn right again, then go to the street you needed to go left on and turn right, you are now traveling in the direction you needed to go. I learned this somewhere because J.Edgar Hoover, the FBI director would not allow his chauffeur to make a left turn. Had a phobia about the danger of turning in front of oncoming traffic.

Tell you grandma, from this old grandpa, to shut up and let you make mistakes. That is how you learn. I still make them. And so does she.

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simkatu@reddit

UPS trucks are programmed to take almost all trips using right turns only.

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Burnsidhe@reddit

Here's another one; speeding doesn't save time except on cross-country trips. Most of your driving won't be over distances of hundreds of miles. Drive the prevailing speed of traffic andbe safe.

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zarreph@reddit

This is great advice. Better to potentially miss a turn and be late than to cause an accident by driving erratically.

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DedBirdGonnaPutItOnU@reddit

One time when I was driving my wife screamed. From dead silence to full throated scream. I nearly crashed the car she startled me so bad. When I'd calmed down I asked her WTAF, she said she saw a car nearly hit a bicyclist. The car was going in the opposite direction, turned right down a side street, TWO BLOCKS AHEAD OF US.

This is appropriate here:

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Spksnppr@reddit

It wasn’t until I got married that I found out I was putting milk in the refrigerator wrong.

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GoblinKing79@reddit

Ok, so my ex would sometimes just...not brake until the last second. He normally would brake for a long time because it charged the hybrid battery, but sometimes, nope. I don't know if he was zoned or what, but it freaked me out a lot. Still, I never said anything, because I trusted he'd stop.

Until this one time. We were on the highway, driving at speed and there was traffic up ahead. And he just didn't slow down. At all. We were 2 car lengths (at most) from the stopped traffic when I had to say, dude stop. He kinda, like, snapped out of it, I guess. Like, I could see him come back to driving, like he was clearly zoned out. There was no accident that day, because I said something.

Whole backseat drivers usually suck, sometimes, they save lives. The trick is knowing when the situation actually warrants saying something. But I think most people have little to no common sense.

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Busy_Barber_3986@reddit

That is HILARIOUS, the meme. Omg! Truly, like how did we ever get on in life before our mates?! 🤣🤣🤣

Off topic, but EVERY time I order pizza, I get 2. I eat it for a few days and never waste it. But, EVERY time, my partner says, "I don't know why you get so much pizza if youre just gonna throw it out!" 🤦‍♀️.

ONE time, we had guests from out of state. Yes, I bought too much Domino's. Other meals were from different places they wanted to try. When they left a week later, I tossed a pizza. Omg. Shame on me. I'll never live it down.

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Emraldday@reddit

My wife does this too. It is so infuriating. She also has a bad habit of saying "Turn there." Not "Turn left at the next street," or "Turn right at the light." Just "Turn there." When I then ask her where, exactly, I should turn, she says "Where I'm pointing!" No matter how many times I explain that 1) I'm driving and not looking at her hands, 2) I am a whole ass different person sitting on the other side of the car and don't have time to triangulate the exact spot she's pointing to based on the positions of her head and hand, and 3) she needs to tell me where the turn is BEFORE we get to it, she just keeps doing it. She can't seem to understand that pointing at things doesn't help the person driving.

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Dru-baskAdam@reddit

My husband does this alllll the time. His favorite is to call out “Deer” when they are a quarter mile away and in no way a danger. So I ignore him. Until the day one actually ran in front of us. I still had plenty of time to stop. But if he didn’t always point them out I would take it more seriously when it might be an issue.

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Halation2600@reddit

I feel some sympathy for her. I'm not the best passenger. I don't yell and I don't think I gasp, but I definitely do the gripping thing more than I should. My wife notices it and it heightens her and definitely doesn't help her driving skills. I've really been trying to work on it. I think I've gotten a little better, but it's not an easy thing to change.

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Delicious_Summer7839@reddit

When passengers ostentatiously behave, then I’m behave. Ostentatiously with my brakes might as well give them something to be ostentatious about.

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Better-Delay@reddit

My wife finally for better when I slammed the brakes on, slide to the side of the road and went "do you want to drive? Then shut the f up and let me drive"

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allamakee-county@reddit

I have tried that with my husband and he makes me sound like I'm "scared" to drive and he's doing me a big favor to take over. The point is lost on him.

Nearly 40 years with this man.

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spacestonkz@reddit

I force my man to drive for this reason.

I don't care who's driving but if you can't fucking relax while I drive normally, you can drive normally while I relax.

He keeps telling people I hate driving. No no. I love driving by myself and vibing to music. Or carpooling.

Just not with him.

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trexalou@reddit

Me as the wife: hell yes I want to drive. I don’t trust your ass to get me there safely what with riding the rumble strips and going 70 on a curvy mountain road with a “suggested speed limit” (aka yellow speed limit sign) of 25! Move the hell over and never reach for the keys again!!!

😂

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Better-Delay@reddit

Fair, but my wife always wants me to drive. Just used to like to be a backseat driver

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Anonmouse119@reddit

Honestly, with the way I’ve seen some dudes drive, they had it coming.

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sues-zzzz-que@reddit

Yass

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Anonmouse119@reddit

I threatened to drop my wife off if she kept doing that while I was driving through some snow in the winter.

I obviously wouldn’t do it, but I didn’t know how else to finally get through her head that gasping loudly and screaming to watch out or something with no further details about what she saw or where it is is not helpful. I know even the threat was way overboard, but I was stressed out from a combination of factors.

I am not a reckless driver. I am in fact a very cautious person, ironically due to an incident (partially) out of my control where I rear-ended her when I was a new driver (19yo).

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GeologistPrimary2637@reddit

This is my ex and about everyone I drive around in my. I don't speed, I am relatively courteous on the road. My eyes are constantly spotting for hazards and anticipate people doing the stupid. Yet my ex would constantly say to be careful of this car, be careful of that car. I have to remind her that I spotted it already. I got yelled at once by her for deciding to take evasive action first instead of honking a guy for coming out of a junction too close to us.

And my dad will never stop passenger seat drive me and even push me to do unsafe maneuver just because I'm a lane over from where I should be but there's opportunity to move over soon. My sisters agree it was very unnecessary but they don't dare to tell him that. What's worse is they don't get the same treatment I get when they objectively drive more furious than I do.

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shaynee24@reddit

one thing i like to tell other, and remind myself, is that all streets are connected: you miss one, take the next one. it’ll add maybe 2-3 minutes onto your travel time, but it’s not that big of an issue.

sometimes when i drive my parents, i’ll be someplace new, and they’ll be like “yo, exit here. turn. TUrn man, take thIS EXIT” and i’ll just have to be like “whoops. oh well. gotta take the next exit”. you live and you learn. but as long as you recognize the issues around you, you should be able to rectify them.

good luck

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Silent_Pay_9239@reddit

remember, "Good drivers sometimes miss their exit, bad drivers never do". She was definitely in the wrong for yelling at you to turn immediately, especially since you were in the wrong lane and that wouldn't be physically possible. When I was learning to drive, my grandma would do the same thing (telling me to turn onto our exit as we're passing it and giving no time to prepare), but I'd just roll by our exit as there was no way to turn in time, and eventually explained to her that I need more time to actually prepare for the turn.

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No-Text-9656@reddit

Yeah I hate driving with my mom in the car navigating because she always waited till the last second to call out a turn. So much better when people announce it like a block ahead.

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EnvironmentalGift257@reddit

You can have her ride in the back seat and if she starts directing you turn the radio up. This is what I do with my mother in law.

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Entelecher@reddit

Remember that when she starts the yelling again. Ignore her and do not engage.

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MetalTrek1@reddit

Exactly. Better to miss an exit and have to do a u-turn than cause an accident.

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purplishfluffyclouds@reddit

Another thing to keep in mind is that when you’re behind the wheel, you’re in charge. Someone can yell “Left noooooowww! “ or motion you to go from behind the wheel of their own car all day long but it’s your responsibility to know if it’s a safe time to make that tie or not. Never take directions from anyone other than a traffic cop is a good rule to live by.

You can always turn around if you miss a turn, but you’re sol if something bad happens cuz you turned at an unsafe time. Hopefully this will help you stay calm when/a passenger is flipping out. But definitely lay down some ground rules for GMA. People can’t be doing that!

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Barto_212@reddit

Hey, if she wants you to go a different way in the future, just remind her that you're the driver so you're going the way you want to go. I live in a city and I'm not exactly comfortable driving in unfamiliar places, it makes me anxious, and I'm not the best driver anyway. To avoid stress, I will absolutely take the ways that I know by heart to get to places, even if they are longer. A little extra gas and a few minutes of time is absolutely worth the peace of mind of knowing where I am and how to get to where I'm going.

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parkerjpsax@reddit

Easier said than done. I've been driving for 15 years and if someone shouted at me out of the blue while I was driving I might whip around in fear hard enough to pull the wheel and crash.

It's just a knee jerk reaction that we think a loud sudden noise is a threat and we now need to assess the threat. As a teenager my brother thought it would be funny to jump out at me and I almost smashed him in the face with the (thankfully empty) bowl I was holding. Luckily mid swing I realized it was him and pulled it back.

I would give a shouter one warning to STFU or they'll be walking and if they continued I'd make good on that threat.

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jasonfromearth1981@reddit

Ignore backseat drivers. They don't realize how dangerous they are. If you're paying attention to the road they aren't going to provide you with any useful, urgent information. If they're stressing you out then you ignore them until it's safe to address them. Don't argue with them, just keep your focus on driving and understand that it is ALWAYS ok to miss your turn. I'm sure you realize this in the aftermath, but you could have killed someone and ultimately you're the one in control of the vehicle.

Just remember to breathe and look further down the road when driving is stressing you out. A huge part of why people get stressed while driving is that they confine their awareness to a tiny bubble around their vehicle and it puts them on edge because they're constantly having to react to surprises instead of being proactive about what's coming.

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HerestheRules@reddit

A lesson most people don't learn quickly is that passengers are exactly that: passengers. You want to tell me where to drive without me asking? Should've sat behind the wheel then 🤷‍♀️

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geegol@reddit

+1 for mentioning that stress is a huge issue when driving. Do not drive with people who make you stressed out. Me personally, I tend to make bad decisions driving if I’m stressed like speeding (which is a nasty habit and don’t speed ever even if you’re late). If you feel stressed out, you should have someone else drive.

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_WillCAD_@reddit

Agreed. Until OP learns to ignore stress bringers, they should choose only to drive with those who can help instill confidence and calm. Great Grandma, obviously, is the wrong choice.

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Konstant_kurage@reddit

You have to ignore her. Sounds like a matriarch type and there’s no asking most of those to change anything about what they do.

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desertdilbert@reddit

This is a really big deal and I wish more people understood it. DO NOT DISTRACT THE DRIVER!

I am a 45 year driver so I have some experience under my belt. I am also a calm and relaxed person by nature. That being said, my girlfriend is a super-high-anxiety passenger. I will be driving and she will yell "Watch that guy!" and it will cause me to react only to find out I already had that person indexed and cataloged. Frankly it's bad enough that while I like to drive I just let her drive most of the time and just keep my mouth shut when she does the EXACT SAME THINGS that she constantly calls me on. She takes the old rule where "A person can drive 10 MPH faster and 10 feet closer then they can ride" and expands it to 25/25.

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EtherealSai@reddit

Just so you're aware, you made a fatal mistake. Literally. If you had been any slower you could've been T-boned and died. Never drive in an unsafe manner on the road. You have all the time in the world and can always come back around if you miss your turn or take the wrong route.

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Jango_Fresh@reddit

I have a similar issue whenever I give my dad a ride. He doesn't really yell, and most of the time he's an agreeable passenger... but just as often, he just talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks. It never ceases to amaze me how many words he can fit into even a 10 minute drive.

I, being me, after a certain point in time - my brain simply clicks off and I dissociate from reality if someone doesn't shut the hell up.

It's resulted in me almost running a red light once or twice. Almost. Something usually ends up snapping me out of it.

Something I've found that helps when you have a disagreeable passenger (or a passenger that drones on and on), is to fixate upon the car in front of you and tune your passenger out. If there is no car in front of you to fixate upon, work on manual awareness as opposed to the automatic little checks you do throughout your drive.

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Several_Dust1985@reddit

“Good drives occasionally miss their turn, but bad drivers never do”

F’n nailed it. You’re going to be a great driver soon. You should be really proud if yourself for recognizing your mistake, and not only feeling guilty about it, but learning a lesson. You’re already 15 steps in front of some people that have been driving for decades. Well done!

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badlybane@reddit

If you aren't used to your adrenaline rush it is a different feeling. However if you ever feel like you aren't in control of a situation you have to learn to fight that urge. If there is ever a confusing situation you need to learn to tune out the noise. Grandma screaming in the back, kids fighting, whatever. Whatever it takes to remain in control. If you aren't used to this I highly recommend going to a parking lot with friends and drive around letting them mess with you.
Play a sport, flag football or something that will trigger the fight or flight response.
This will not be the first time this happens and if you don't learn to control your response in situations like this it will happen again.

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Schmaltzs@reddit

Pull a baby driver on her /major S

Just tell her to chill out/ignore her if you know what to do.

From my point of view she sounds like she almost got y'all killed.

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PenniesByTheMile@reddit

Best thing to remember, you can always miss your turn and either catch the next one or make a U when possible and just come back to it. Never feel stressed about an upcoming turn if you’re in the wrong lane and can’t get over in time for any reason. Take this as a lesson learned and tell grandma to freaking chill.

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Due2NatureOfCharge@reddit

Get the Waze app on your phone and let one of the voice options take you everywhere you need to go. Best directions, will remember your preferred routes, all while warning you of traffic jams, police locations, and other road hazards.

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Ill_Nefariousness709@reddit

Yes i have been there years ago. I was giving a coworker a ride from school to his work. He assumed i knew where i was going and yelled out go left now! (Divided roadway with a curb.) I turned early into a turn lane and damaged the rim of the wheel. He didnt get rides after that. When someone barks a command like that sometimes you just do what is said. I hate when people do that it is always better to just miss the turn and come back.

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DysthymiaSurvivor@reddit

Back seat drivers, especially loud ones, can throw anyone off their game. You got lucky this time but might not the next. When you are behind the wheel you are the captain of the ship and you decide the route. If your passenger objects they can walk or find a different driver.

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doko_kanada@reddit

You know what we call women in the passenger seat in Russia?

Distraction on your right

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micksterminator3@reddit

I've done something like this before. Was driving my family on vacation. They were all yelling at me and I kinda did a similar maneuver. Doesn't help that we all have PTSD from a rollover we were in. Basically you fucked up but so did they. It's the passengers job to maintain their cool so you keep your cool. The cockpit is supposed to be an emotionless area in my opinion. Accidents happen when emotions are present. I eat shit on my skateboard every time I ride with an unclear mind/thoughts.

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tracyinge@reddit

Take your time. Leave home a few minutes early if that's what it takes to have a less hectic drive. Most accidents happen when people are in a rush.

If great granny hadn't have been rushing you , you could have just turned left as planned and then turned left again to eventually come back around. Don't worry about making wrong turns, you can usually just turn around and get back to where you want to be.

As for the old battleaxe, "calm down , I'm driving, I got this, and I'm gonna let you out right here if you don't stop with your backseat driving. You can walk the rest of the way if you don't like my chauffeuring skills".

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1neffective@reddit

THAT is the worst mistake you’ve made!? Honey you’ll be all right. Now just remember. You don’t need to listen to the passenger. If they were meant to be in control of the vehicle, they would’ve been the one behind the wheel. If you are watching the road, and you can see you’re not getting in an accident, then you are OK. Don’t worry about missing your turn. If Grandma wants to freak out, that’s OK. Turning around is not an emergency, and it is always ok to use your hazards to pull over in a safe place and collect yourself. Just remember not to panic and you will be just fine.

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ILikeDragonTurtles@reddit

This gives me flashbacks. I had a huge fight with my dad as a teenager from exactly this. He was yelling at me to do specific things in an intersection under heavy construction, but I hadn't yet confirmed for myself that I was clear. I ended up yelling back that when I'm driving, I decide when it's safe to change lanes or turn, and he needs to be quiet. My dad is not someone who takes well to being told what to do like that. He argued with me over lunch and fumed the rest of the day. But I stood my ground and it blew over. You should do the same.

As the driver, you are responsible. Period. It's insanely dangerous and irresponsible for passengers to yell instructions at you like that. She should honestly be ashamed of herself. You were being extra cautious, which is always better than being extra assertive when you're inexperienced. Do your best to ignore anyone else in the car. You will only learn anticipatory things (like when to get in a particular lane for a future turn) by just spending more time driving.

The thing you always need to remember is this: when you're unsure if your driving skills and you drive extra cautiously, the worst thing that can happen is you waste a little time. If you miss a turn or an exit, no big deal. You didn't actually "need" to get over right away. Nothing especially bad happens if you miss a turn/exit. You just go to the next light or exit and turn around. Better to be 10 minutes late than in 10 pieces on the pavement.

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I_hate_me_lol@reddit

this is not your fault. i would not be willing to drive with said gg in car anymore

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Jim_in_Albuquerque@reddit

When I was first learning to drive, my mom rode along at least 90% of the time. She would often let out a piercing scream because she wasn't paying attention to some traffic situation that I had already seen, evaluated and reacted to. Thus, I learned how to ignore distractions inside the car.

I also paid close attention to street signs and put alternate routes together in my head, enough that I soon began taking a different route every time to our usual places. This resulted in a slightly different screaming event, which I found at least equally entertaining. Consider also that this was in the mid-70s, predating GPS and smartphones.

It was a lot quieter when my dad rode along. He could take a nap (and sometimes did because he worked nights) and we'd still get where we were going with no drama at all

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meme_lord_101@reddit

Never let anyone dictate how you drive or where you go end of story, had a co worker try to do this to me I t9ld him to fuck off I'm going to go my way and to shut the fuck up. He wasn't happy but guess what we still got to the place we were going

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Casalf@reddit

You’re the one driving so make sure you’re calm and if you miss a turn or an exit it’s not the end of the world because you can always try to keep driving until you find the appropriate spot to be able to turn left, right, or do a u turn and then go back to where you missed a turn. The key is always to be calm and if the passenger is yelling or putting you under stress I would suggest you tell them that you’re the one driving, not them and that they need to stop unless they’re giving you adequate instructions of where to go in the general sense (for example, you said this was a different path compared to the one you usually drive). At the end of the day the person driving is responsible for any mishaps, accidents or causes on the street while driving so best keep that in mind from now on.

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Jondiesel78@reddit

Rule number one for driving with passengers: Silence is golden

Rule number two: Duct tape is silver

When you're the driver, you're the captain of your ship. Don't let anyone tell you what route to take. Also, don't let them scare you into doing something unsafe

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OmenVi@reddit

“I’m driving” End of conversation.

Don’t let people tell you what to do when you’re driving. They can give directions if you don’t know the way, but apart from that, ignore what they say to do. If you miss turns or get lost because they didn’t give directions early enough, that’s on them to be better navigators.

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videocadet@reddit

Your life is not worth missing a turn over! Never forget that

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radioactivepiloted@reddit

I never listen to anybody who is pressuring me while driving. Never have.

You can ALWAYS turn around, wait for the next break in cars, catch the next green light, let the asshat pass you, wait to pass the car in front.

Immediate dangers are okay to react to, quickly... But when you can delay actions until you know it's safe... Do just that.

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sleeping5dragon@reddit

There’s is never a detour long enough worth risking your life and others on the roads life’s

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Heykurat@reddit

This also goes for other drivers. I've been honked at for not proceeding through an intersection where I wasn't able to see cross traffic well enough. Also been honked at for not turning when signs clearly say "NO TURN ON RED".

If you don't feel safe, don't do it. And, importantly, DO NOT ESCALATE a conflict with another driver. Do not stop to confront them. Do not open your door or windows. Let them do whatever and get on with your day. If you are involved in an accident and you feel you are in danger, from the other driver, FLEE and call 911. It's better to get a ticket than get shot.

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TArmy17@reddit

This. Ignore direct instructions from passengers.

If a passenger feels so strongly you need to act THEN AND NOW, knowing you're a novice driver, they will just grab the wheel.

Do not ever feel pressured to make a move that you don't feel safe making. That includes pressure from other drivers, and passengers.

You can always turn around The guy behind you can wait 45 seconds And it's not worth your life, or the guy next to you.

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Classic_Emergency336@reddit

On a highway good drivers sometimes miss their exit. Bad drivers never miss their exit.

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TArmy17@reddit

I think that inherently the terms would be "safe" and "unsafe, respectively, would be most appropriate but yes. Agreed.

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steelcity65@reddit

You're the driver. You're the one in control and responsible. You determine the route. Not Grandma. You need to tell Grandma to chill out. It is better to have to turn around down the street than to panic turn across traffic and almost cause an accident. If your passenger still acts a fool, pull over. Tell them they can either drive or keep quiet because you are trying to focus. If they can't respect that, kick them out of the car. Yes, even Grandma.

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sneakysquid102@reddit

Omg I hate boomers so much. To drive safe you need to learn to tune people out. If she's getting that aggressive then I would be worried that she might grab the wheel. And if I suspect someone's going to interfere with my driving they can get right the fuck out of my car IDC. Not worth getting hurt or losing my car because not following your exact guidelines. If you want to go a certain route the way you want to get in your own dam car. My car my rules or your walking end of story

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

She’s not even a boomer she’s “the silent generation” 1938 😭😭

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Independent_Bite4682@reddit

With more practice, you may learn how to tell grandma to shut her mouth while you're driving.

I was in my late some where between 28 and 31 years of age, I told my GF to give clear instructions. I was driving her truck I believe. I didn't know how to get where we we going, she said that there was a left turn up ahead, suddenly she says, "turn right now!"

I about drove us through a ditch.

....

So, just based on your story, I can't claim that what happened was 100% your fault. I would blame grandma for being an overbearing individual.

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Heykurat@reddit

She also knows better than to bother the driver. That's one of the cardinal rules as a passenger.

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

You just described my great grandma with pinpoint accuracy. She goes “there’s a turn up here” and like 10 seconds later “TURN NOW”

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alternate-ron@reddit

Word, next time yell back at her. Then kick her out the car, fuck grandma I’m not dying cause the woman can’t control herself in my car

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FANTOMphoenix@reddit

Use your phone for a GPS.

Fuck people that tell you where to go but don’t do it properly and then get upset.

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TheGrouchyGremlin@reddit

Google Maps is sometimes a dick as well. In one area , It'll tell me to make a turn when I'm already passed the cutoff for moving into the turn lane. There's a light/intersection every 50-150 feet and it makes things confusing unless you know the area.

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PeachyFairyDragon@reddit

Google Maps does things just to cause trouble for people I swear. It one time directed me to a road marked "no trespassing." Its idea of a mountain was dense forest. And best of all, I was in a city I had been in 30 years before, so a vague idea of the layout, and it was taking me through a tour of the city at 11:30pm. When I figured out what it was doing and found signs to the interstate, it was telling me to make a u turn as I was on the on ramp to the interstate. (No, avoid major roads wasn't ticked. And wouldn't have mattered anyway because the interstate was the only bridge across the river, so mandatory to take.)

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FANTOMphoenix@reddit

Waze is what I use. I do love the 3D and lane display on google maps though.

Waze now seems to have audible lane notifications though.

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Independent_Bite4682@reddit

The gf used directional words. I about turned RIGHT because that was the last direction I was told to turn.

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spacestonkz@reddit

When I was 12 or 13 I accidentally did that to my dad while he was driving me to a sleepover.

"So do we turn left here?"

"Right!". Dad turns right.

"Oh. Dad... When I said right, I meant 'correct' not the direction"

To this day when I'm giving him directions, we use the word correct for giggles so often it drives my mom bonkers. "Can't you two just say yes?!"

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caddyclicker@reddit

One of the things new drivers need to know (and your great grandma, apparently) is that missing a turn is not the end of the world. Find a parking lot and turn around, circle the block, etc. It's not a big deal.

She should absolutely not be shouting directions at you. Especially since she obviously hadn't checked to see if it was clear. This is at least as much her fault as yours, if not more.

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Heykurat@reddit

I once had to drive 12 miles before I could take another freeway exit to turn around. It's annoying but safer.

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Escapeintotheforest@reddit

As a new driver I miss turns constantly or I get stuck in turn only lanes when I wanted to go straight but I just roll with it and it’s never ever serious so wtf is wrong with experienced drivers sometimes

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spacestonkz@reddit

They're just control freaks, honestly.

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just1my2porn3account@reddit

☝️☝️☝️ we all really need to learn to chill out when we miss an exit or turn. We're literally still able to turn around at a left-side U-turn or continue with the next exits. Use tools to guide you like Google maps

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Timely_Choice_4525@reddit

Yep, not being in the correct lane to make a turn or take an exit can be stressful, but it’s always better to take a breath and relax and just keep going, then turn around or take an alt route. Sure, you’ll add a bit to your drive but most times you’re talking about a minimal loss of time compared to possibly making a risky move.

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allislost77@reddit

Shit happens. I could NEVER drive with my mom when I was a new driver! She would do that stuff. I tried talking to her about it and it happened again. My solution was to never drive with my mom. (Until obviously years later) So maybe talk to grandma and let her know how much it stresses you out when you drive. Other than that, no one died. No accidents. No big deal

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Original_Thanks_9435@reddit

No more giving grandma rides, she’s a distraction. You drive the road you want to take and forget others opinions. They can go their way when they drive. Thankfully no one was hurt but you learned a lesson.

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Purple_Station7030@reddit

My husband second guesses my driving all the time. I know this doesn’t apply here but I frequently make him drive because I’m sick of hearing it. We’ve been together for 11 years. I’ve had no accidents.

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MintTea-FkYou@reddit

Tell Great Grandma to shut the fuck up

lol

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Mental-Ad-208@reddit

A good lesson I learned early was that you can ALWAYS just turn around later. It's never worth it to put your life or anyone else's life in danger by making a dangerous last second turn. Also, your passengers might get angry at you for not turning. Make sure to tell them to shut the fuck up or they can walk.

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Key-Ad-1873@reddit

If you learn a lesson from this, let it be this: it's ok to miss a turn, there will always be another or a way to turn around.

My dad was the type to get super pissy when getting lost/making wrong turns, it's one of the reasons I tend to not let him drive if I can help it. My girlfriend was absolutely terrified of missing a turn because of how her ex boyfriend would yell and scream if she missed a turn (he was an abusive asshole), to the point where she started crying the first time she missed a turn with me in the car because she was afraid I'd do the same. I didn't, and it took her a bit to get used to the idea that it's not the end of the world if you miss a turn.

It's ok to miss turns, and it's ok to tell your passenger shut up if they are not going to be helpful, and that if they are going to give directions they need to be more clear and in a timely manner that makes them useful (i.e. well before turns, and then reminders half a mile before and coming up to the turns, if there is not that much room, you give more preemptive directions with the previous turn, like saying which lanes to go in and how quickly after this turn it needs to happen).

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songwrtr@reddit

Wrong turns aren’t fatal mistakes generally. But screaming at a new driver and causing them to make a rush decision can very easily lead to a fatal mistake. Don’t drive with grandma.

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Generated-Nouns-257@reddit

Stress is the main reason for driving accidents and the lesson you learn here is to tell passengers to shut the fuck up. Never change your route because of passenger demand. If a passenger is giving real-time instructions, tell them to shut the fuck up immediately. The only exception being a designated co-pilot / navigator. (Shout out to my wife who has gone from a terrible co-pilot to an excellent one over the course of our relationship. Invaluable. But we're a team, she's not barking at me)

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Ok-Rate-3256@reddit

If it was me grabdma wouldn't be allowed back in my vehicle unless she can shut the fuck up and let me drive. This is all on her.

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Single-Moose@reddit

Nah, not on you. Passengers need to remain that, passengers. If she wants to be a lookout for others poor driving to warn you of something you might not see, that's one things. Great Grandma here needs to pull her panties out of the wedge they're in and realize you're a BRAND NEW DRIVER. I'm sorry she created this situation for you, you most definitely would be held legally responsible with no way to prove her behavior that led to your panicked decision.

I wouldn't drive with her anymore personally.

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Behemout@reddit

I had a few of these close calls when I started driving. I don't think they were as bad, but I'd be panicking all the time. I realized and you also need to realize that if you're panicking you're basically dead. Someone's going to try to kill you, and you're going to try to kill someone else. Just calmly avoid the accident, and shrug when it's the other way around. You can't change it, nor can you really apologize most of the time. The only thing you can do is be more nervous, which doesn't help your reaction times.

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Mx_cre8tivename@reddit

If you drive stressed you will be more likely to fuck up. When you are the driver you need to be in control and focused on the road. If passengers cause you undue stress or distraction pull over and tell them to stop whatever it is that is causing issues. If they think you are doing something wrong they need to tell you in a polite way. If she's ever in your car again just remind her that for everyone's safety you will not be tolerating that behaviour while you're at the helm

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spicer_olive@reddit

I think we’ve all been there at some point. If you miss your turn just go around the block or turn around at a safe spot! No harm in missing your turn other than setting you back in time lol. Better late than never, am I right?! 🤪

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overkillsd@reddit

We had a family friend who thought I was going to hit another car that had already cleared the intersection 150 feet ahead of me (we were going 25 MPH), so she grabbed the steering wheel of the SUV and yanked it to the right (away from the other car). I was able to maintain control and come to a complete stop on the shoulder, take the keys out, and make it clear how badly she fucked up...

I told her if she ever did that again I would hit the gas pedal until we crashed into something and we'd see who has a better chance of surviving, the teenager, the 55 year old, or neither. I wasn't going to follow through on that threat, but I needed her to believe me - there's a lot to unpack about how dense she was/is and no amount of logic will ever convince her of anything because she is frankly incapable of understanding.

I still don't know how she thought that I, the kid with collegiate sports and professional gaming level hand-eye coordination and reflexes, had so severely misjudged the situation. Or even if I had, how her reaction was something other than the worst thing she could have possibly done, especially in a high profile vehicle with a high center of gravity.

I was not like most teens with an unmitigated God complex and adrenaline fix - I was (and still am) a mildly autistic engineer who likes to cruise control at 65 (or at the time, 60) on the freeway because it gives me optimal fuel economy.

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NnamdiPlume@reddit

Make her walk even if she can’t

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xabrol@reddit

I think everyone has had a moment like this when starting to drive. The very first day I got my car and was driving my step dad home from where we got the car he was stressing me out and I turned right on a red light without looking or stopping.... Nearly got tboned, truck had to swerve to miss us.

So what's my step dad do? He takes me to a parking lot, repeatedly for like two weeks, sets up a bunch of cones and stuff. Then tells me to drive his coarse. Meanwhile he's in the passenger seat stressing me out on purpose, like conditioning me to stress, and he wouldn't let me drive again until I could keep my cool under stress and drive safely.

He was like "one day, it's going to be your wife in the rear seat, darn near pushing a baby out of herself, screaming at you to GO FASTER." "Or you're going to have 2 kids in the back seat fighting and screaming at each other (MOOOMMM HE CROSSED THE LINE AGAIN).

Like stress is normal, you have to be able to handle stress while driving.

How you perform under stress is the difference between a shitty driver and a good one.

Stress happens.

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TuzzNation@reddit

Hey man, no one is born a perfect driver. This is case, it was totally not your fault but your grandma's.

When I just started driving, I cant talk to people while operating the car and I cant even drive with windows open cuz the noise and everything will distract me. So I kinda understand new driver would have all the stress when they just started.

Usually what I do is, I tried my best not to disturb them while giving useful words especially when helping them navigate on the road. Like, if we need to turn, I will tell the driver keep on the correct lane a bit early so I dont stress them out. I will try my best not stress them out when making turns, changing lanes or in crowded traffic.

Also, when you are driving, if people yelling or stress you out, you tell them shut the f up. Cuz first, you are driving, you panic the driver you get everybody killed. Second, you dont like it, you drive it or be useful and helpful.

In my family its usually my mom driving most of the time when we going out as a whole. My dad is a shitty driver and hes usually not driving. But still, this guy usually sit on the passenger seat giving me mom opinions on what to do. and how to drive. It always triggers my mom haha.

Just dont worry man. We were all like you back then.

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Various_Life_5679@reddit

Here’s one that might make you feel better. Was driving late at night with my dad in the passenger seat and my now ex wife in the back. I kept being asked if I was on to drive (was long trip n it’s middle of the night) I’m like ya ya I’m good. They passed out and at some point I started dozing off. I got a quick shout out when we almost hit a side rail head on because of it. So hey least you didn’t almost kill yourselves.👍🏻

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AbleStep1131@reddit

Grandma needs a muzzle, and you need to ignore her when driving.

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No_Brilliant6061@reddit

The best thing I can say is this, ignore the peanut gallery no matter how loud they yell, complain or whine. Even if you miss a turn, nothing is more important than safety in the long run. And even experienced drivers may not always make it. The best driver is the one who gets to their destination safely.

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SunBusiness8291@reddit

Remember one thing. You can always turn around.

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solaroma@reddit

I was a very nervous new driver, and my mom was panicky. A good friend taught me how to drive because my mom would do the same as your great grandma, but in a nervous panic. Finally I'd had enough of her histrionics and yelled at her to shut up. She was pretty quiet after that.

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Anantasesa@reddit

Sounds like you didn't know the correct way if you were in the wrong lane planning to turn the wrong direction.

No idea how a dip in the road is relevant.

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

The way I wanted to go requires me to turn left, hence why I was in the left lane. The dip is relevant for the simple fact that’s where I was when she yelled, but also the road to turn on was immediately after the dip

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Anantasesa@reddit

Oh. Well it was confusing bc you say in the post that you "needed to get to the right lane to turn" but "right" can either mean "your 3 o'clock" or "correct", so I took it as the former but you must have meant the latter.

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Bill837@reddit

Everybody else seems to have the basics covered. No matter what your passenger does you are the "Pilot in command" as we termed in the Navy aircraft I crewed in.

Now. I'll bring the motorcyclist perspective. Regarding the car that you were not prepared for. Us old bikers know one thing. The larger your "bubble of awareness", the better prepared you are for the unexpected. So start using your time to expand that bubble so you have a very good 365 degree awareness of all the vehicles around you.

Driving is most likely the single most dangerous thing you will engage in. Bring the mindset that you will not be taken by surprise. And you achieve that by awareness. Study the behavior of those around you. After a while you will learn "tells" and be ready for them when they do stupid stuff.

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hugesino@reddit

Ew you're one of those idiots "I can't think when you're yelling!!!"

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

Actually no, I’m not. 9 times out of 10 I’m much better under pressure. This happened to be the one occurrence where I panicked.

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seifer__420@reddit

You clearly are a child. It would be easy to see even if you didn’t say you are “almost” 19. You are trying to deflect responsibility. Grow up, and take responsibility for your actions. You are the driver. You are responsible.

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

Did you miss the part in the story when I said “I know it’s entirely my fault as the driver” ???

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makethatMFwork@reddit

Don’t let other people drive for you. Can’t tell you how many turns I have missed. Best to just go around the block.

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Blode_Food@reddit

If you miss a turn, it's not a big deal. You just find a safe place to turn around or pull over and find a new route. Maybe it adds 5 minutes to your trip. Who cares?

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krag_the_Barbarian@reddit

Don't listen to anyone in the car, ever, particularly if they're yelling that you missed a turn. If you miss your turn take your time and do everything by the book. Turn around when it's safe and go back.

Any passenger yelling at a new driver is a moron. Their life is literally in your hands.

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ShesATragicHero@reddit

Driving with parents is a a nightmare. DDIDNTYOU SEE THAT REDLIGHT!? um, the one after this green light? Yes, yes I do, on the next block. My mom once jerked my wheel for gods honest truth I have no idea why she just shrieked on this windy 2 lane road.

I’ve been driving for 20+ years. I used to race cars, and never been in any car accident that was my fault with a perfect driving record. Except that one time I was speeding in a school zone, and I was. It was the 1st day of school and I didn’t know (the speed goes from 35 to 25 when school is in session). They ticketed me for not wearing a seatbelt. My old Buick never came with seatbelts. Just got a warning.

I’m sorry that happened to you, but remind yourself YOU are the in charge when driving YOUR vehicle. Be aware and drive with confidence.

I can’t believe your grandma apologized. My grandma would never apologize for anything. Love and miss you miss Julia! ❤️

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falcon3268@reddit

Having someone yelling at you instructions is a very dangerous thing. It can cause accidents to happen, while your great grandma may have wanted you to go a different way, you ran into something that you were likely going to experience in your life. Be aware of your surroundings the entire time and if you don't feel comfortable driving a new route, go the speed limit if not slow down to a reasonable speed especially with someone that has a tendacy to scream at you cause your great grandma nearly caused you a accident.

One other thing is this is the main reason why at a certain age, people have to retake their drivers test to make sure that they are up to date on traffic laws and they still have capacity to be a safe driver out on the road.

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Bigcuddlyguy@reddit

Don't drive with really old people no matter how long you have been driving because they want tell you how to do it. They figure they have lived long enough they earned that right.

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NoBrother1687@reddit

Always remember you can go a little farther and turn onto another street if you miss your turn . It will happen many times during your time driving you aren't the only one to fall victim to a back seat driver making them nervous and causing them to do something they shouldn't especially a new driver your grandmother should have known better that to do that and just had you get in the correct lane safely and back tracked from the next turn

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DS619@reddit

I think you did great! Your execution wasn't the best, but you're alive and you learned a valuable lesson. YOUR actions as a driver involve everyone else around you at any given time. You got lucky this time and because you're so self-aware at such a young age, I know this would be less likely to occur again.

Don't so be so hard on yourself. We were all new drivers once, too.

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MuchDevelopment7084@reddit

Ah yes, the notorious 'backseat driver'. Regardless of what seat she was in. The solution to this is simple. You tell whoever, to Shut the Fck Up. You are driving, not them. If they want to drive fine. Let them.
If they keep telling you how to drive. Drive them home and leave them there.
This nonsense is distracting and dangerous; as you found out. Do not put up with it if you are the driver. Period.

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PremierEditing@reddit

My personal advice would be, if your great grandma yells at you while you're driving, to politely or at least display at least you can, tell her to can it.

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Legitimate-Fan-3415@reddit

That was a huge mistake and you got incredibly lucky you didn't kill someone.

You're driving the car. It's entirely your responsibility to do so safely. If you're not mature enough to let your hothead great grandma lose her cool without killing someone, you don't belong behind the wheel.

If you find yourself with that level of extreme distraction from passengers ever again, you should take a few months to practice with no passengers in the car until you have built up your confidence not to do something so dangerous again. That's probably a good idea already.

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MuckyDuckoftheLake@reddit

Don't talk like that to OP. A 19-year-old is not very mature in any way, due to lack of experience in The World. And standing up to Great-Grandma takes a bit of preparation.

OP, this is exactly the kind of experience no one wants, but everyone learns from. You have to practice Being In Control. Take a deep breath and steel yourself. Talk yourself through each challenge you find, silently. Pretend you have Captain Encouragement in the passenger seat cheering you on. Don't be afraid to lay down the law before you even get in the car. Remind your actual passenger that you are still inexperienced and you need quiet to concentrate. After all, it's their safety riding on it as well.

When my kids were learning to drive, I never yelled or scolded them. If they needed correction, I'd tell them in a conversational way, unless they were about to hit/get hit by another car. And if they were getting nervous, like when my daughter was driving through rainy twilight traffic on I-65 in Nashville, I offered to drive instead, telling them to turn off or pull over and we'd switch. But we never did – just knowing that they had the option helped calm them.

You got this! It just takes practice. 🙂

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

I kind of agree, but driving with no passengers is not an option for me. It’s part of the restrictions on my learners license to have a licensed driver in the car with me at all times while I’m driving.

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XTI_duck@reddit

Good drivers miss their turn sometimes. Bad drivers never miss their turn.

Don’t be afraid to drive a little further and turn around. Most important thing is to do it safely.

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mishabear16@reddit

It's never too late to miss your turn, find a safe location to turn around, and backtrace your steps. I can't tell you how many near misses I have seen on the interstate when someone just about missed their exit. Go to the next exit and turn around!

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MuckyDuckoftheLake@reddit

Yes! I told my kids this over and over. If you miss your turn, go to the next street and come back around. Follow the rules. They're made to maintain order, not to be broken.

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prodego@reddit

Sounds like gam gam needs a muzzle

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RangerDickard@reddit

Chiming in here on something related, try to mentally tell yourself that you don't need to rush. If you're running late to work or miss a turn, you'll be much later If you get pulled over or wreck your vehicle. Imagine how long you'd have to work to pay for the damage on your vehicle that was caused because you were worried about being late to work?

Just try to get into the habit of leaving an extra few minutes and once you have a job, you can always text/call that you'll be a few minutes late. It's totally fine as long as it's not a regular occurrence.

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Emraldday@reddit

One other thing to add to what everyone else is saying, until you are more comfortable behind the wheel, take the route that you want to take and are more familiar with. People are going to tell you all the time that you should go their way because it's better and/or faster. Don't let them pressure you. The best route is not the one that gets you there the quickest, it's the one that gets you there the safest.

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brassplushie@reddit

Don't let your passengers bully you into taming a stupid alternate route. If they EVER yell at you, pull over, put it in park, and tell them to get out. Either they'll get out and learn their lesson, or they'll sit there shocked that you even asked, and that'll still teach the same lesson.

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Deep_Security_2217@reddit

Driving is a stressful task by itself, you don't need someone fucking screaming in your face the whole time.... Unless there is only one subdivision for miles, there's always going to be another turn you can take, and your passenger shoudl definitely have more patience with you in that aspect. That's kind of an asshole thing to do when someone is learning routes for the first time.

My Step-dad had me drive with my learner's permit a few times. ( He worked for Idaho State Police at the time) And not once did her raise his voice during my driving, just talked me through it. I can't tell you how many laws I broke with him in the car, and he just said "break another one" to get back into a safe situation. Learning how to control a couple thousand pound rolling box that can kill multiple people at once is scary, and adding more fear to it, isn't going to help someone learn. Keep practicing, and you'll get there.

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NitrosGone803@reddit

You're the driver so you're the man, which means you get total control of the music and total control of the route that you go on. The passanger's job is just to sit there. If your great grandma doesn't like it then tough shibbums.

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High-Beeks@reddit

Just got back from somewhere, I missed my turn. Did the world end? No! Sometimes, it's just okay to miss your turn

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Standard_Earth7801@reddit

Next time tell the passengers to stay in their place. If they want a certain route tell them they can drive you are the one in control that elder crap or anything you may feel for the person is out the window. Driving is a deadly risk that’s why you have to be alert and aware and not have ignorant people in your ear yelling. My mother tried being a backseat driver to me even tho she had done it to no one else ever so I told her to give me the same respect she does others cause her husband drives crazy and she says nothing until they get out the car if that.

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LadyA052@reddit

When my Dad decided to teach me to drive for the first time, long ago, we got halfway down the street and a dog ran in front of us. I slammed on the brakes out of instinct and we both lurched forward. Immediately my Dad was screaming at me. "STOP THE CAR! GET OUT OF THE CAR! THIS LESSON IS OVER! GET OUT OF THE CAR!" I didn't understand why he was so mad at me but he was furious. I refused to take any more lessons from him.

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f1rebreather1027@reddit

Do not drive with people who yell at you. That almost caused a couple of wrecks when I was new. If they don't understand that yelling at you makes driving hard, then they shouldn't be in the car with a new driver.

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SharkWeekJunkie@reddit

Install uber on grandmas phone.

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NoRegertsWolfDog@reddit

Tell grandma she's welcome to walk next time.

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SundySundySoGoodToMe@reddit

You are the driver. You are the captain. Turn off the radio and tell everyone to stfu. Find a nice way to tell grandma that. She gives you $5 every time you visit.

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shawner136@reddit

Passengers gon yell, close your ears. If you gotta make a u turn, better than making a dangerous turn

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Moelarrycheeze@reddit

NEVER listen to passengers advice or exhortations. It’s all on you if an accident happens.

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cybertruckboat@reddit

I remember once taking my niece (my sister's kid) out for a driving lesson. She was bracing herself and white knuckling just getting into the car.

I asked her to pull over, take some breaths, relax, and then we continued.

Afterwards, she said something like, "Wow, that was actually nice! Mom is always yelling at me!"

Don't yell at your drivers.

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Hebegebe101@reddit

Never change lane or turn in panic . You can always turn around at the next block or convenient spot . Better to go out of your way a little than cause a wreck . My mother also told me to check intersections even if I have the light and right of way . You never know if another driver is paying attention .

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Sdwars45@reddit

First time anyone ride in my car i tell them if I can hear them over the music they are talking to loud I don't give a shit if I'm about to drive into a brick wall. Passengers shut the fuck up.

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Dirt_Tea1981@reddit

what you want to do is get this novelty button which goes in the cigarette lighter jack. It says ‘Passenger Eject’. so whenever great grandma says some crazy shit again you just hover your finger right over that button. It is absolutely assenin when you think about it that every other aspect of governing life they over due regulation and yet the allow old kamakazie pilots to keep their license until somebody dies

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Wide_Breadfruit_2217@reddit

Get one of those student driver signs for your bumper. I left mine on for a year after my luscence

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o0_bobbo_0o@reddit

Two things.

Tell gram you’re never driving her anywhere ever again, and tell her why. She absolutely shouldn’t scream at the driver. ESPECIALLY a new one.
If you’re ever in that position/situation again, where you’re like “oh shit, that’s my turn” but you’re not aligned to take it easily, skip it, and take the next turn.

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Dlatt97@reddit

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME DRIVE GRANDMA"

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Darth_Chili_Dog@reddit

Never drive with people like that. It increases the likelihood of an accident astronomically.

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loaderhead@reddit

My wife , who I have designated the navigator , always does this. I take a Quick Look around and decide if I can. Most times I’ll just tell her I can’t. There is a rule in when flying a plane in a combat situation. Aviate ( ( fly the plane ) , navigate ( know where you’re going ) , then communicate. Same rules for driving. You are the captain of the vehicle.

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Acrobatic-Concept616@reddit

Understand that you are entirely in control of the car, and are entirely responsible for what happens with it on the road. The goal of driving is to be 100% predictable to everybody else on the road. Anybody telling you to do anything that's not 100% safe or 100% predictable can get bent.

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HeatGuyKai@reddit

If youre the driver, never take direction from anyone whos not behind the wheel. Politely tell them to STFU or get out. Even your Nan.

Ive had to do that before.

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Redcarborundum@reddit

When I drive, I listen to passengers but never automatically follow their instructions. I’m the one driving, not them.

There’s a true saying:

A bad driver never misses his exit.

It means missing an exit is common, and sometimes necessary to stay safe. If you insist on making the exit every time, there will be occasions when you have to suddenly cross multiple lanes to make it. That’s bad and not safe. Miss the exit and keep your life.

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NewToTradingStock@reddit

Remember, you are in charge as a driver. Doesn’t matter who’s in the car..

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Hot-Win2571@reddit

Adopt "go around the block" as a driving tool.

If you miss a turn or traffic comes to a halt, look for an alternate way to do what you want.

There are several busy roads near me where it's difficult to turn left across two busy lanes. It's much easier to turn right, with one lane of traffic, go a block or two, turn left across one lane, then go around the block and come back out to turn right and go with the flow. Often I see the car which was behind me still waiting to make his left turn out of the driveway.

Also, when in the car I tend to avoid saying "right" when agreeing. I instead say "correct", to prevent confusion with giving directions to the right.

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macho_man_26_oh_yeah@reddit

This grandma doesn't sound so "great."

Seriously though, I'm sure she's a good lady. My two cents, especially in the past few years, is that it seems like people are less and less "ok" with making a wrong turn or missing a turn, leading to erratic and often dangerous maneuvering as they try to cut over a bunch of lanes or literally just do a u-turn in the middle of the road.

It's like people forgot that you can just turn at the next road and turn around.

Be calm and patient behind the wheel. It's ok to make a mistake. Don't put yourself or others at risk just because you miss a turn, etc...

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Icy_Eye1059@reddit

If someone does to me in my car, I'll tell them to keep their mouths shut. I don't need a back seat driver. She is making your anxiety worse with her giving you instructions. Tell her you don't need her input while you are driving. If you get into accident with her there and her big mouth, she will be at fault in causing it! After that, she can take an Uber.

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WissahickonKid@reddit

There are some places in Philly & New York where if you make a wrong turn, you can find yourself in another state on an abandoned tarmac between 2 massive oil refineries. But most times that’s not the case. Just continue until you find a safe place to pull over, then check your map or gps & proceed calmly.

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PatchSlaw07@reddit

Driving can be stressful. Take some more training or classes or something so someone doesn’t end up on the wrong side of things because of your actions.

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greenconnoisseurPA@reddit

Nah tell your grandma to chill it get another ride

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LexiThePlug@reddit

If it makes you feel any better at all, my mother would do this to me all the time while driving. I had no idea what I was doing, and she would yell at me and scare me. She refused to keep driving with me. I took drivers Ed and they took us through the course of the test for the license, so I passed first try despite still being clueless (our test is real easy here in MD). I got a car a week later, and had to start driving myself places while still not really knowing how to drive. Having no one else in the car made it easier. I just stuck to back roads and never went far until I felt more comfortable.

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Pitiful_Structure899@reddit

Your weaker grandma almost caused an accident, take her back to the nursing home

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counselorq@reddit

You are the driver therefore captain. No one tells driver what to do or how to drive.

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TryndMusic@reddit

My first couple times driving I ended going to park at my then girlfriend's house, mistook gas for brake and came very close to putting it through their wall hahaha

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Supra1JZed@reddit

Basically, if I am driving someone and I don't know the way...I'll let them freak out. I'll tell them "Too fucking bad" in response to a missed turn. If they press it, I'll be as condescending, belittling, and degrading as it gets...absolutely pile driving them for being one of "those morons" who will pull monumentally moronic stunts just so they don't miss a turn/exit. I don't give two flying Fs if missing the exit means a 20mile round trip to the next exit and back. Even if the highway is completely empty. I absolutely refuse to pull stupid shit like an immediate multi lane dive to exit/turn.

Be all that as it may, if knowing the route...surface streets I'll be in the lane needed no less than 1/4 mile out. Highway (65+) no less than 1 mile. Fly ahead.

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Legit-85@reddit

That’s it ??

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Lrgindypants@reddit

Why were you in the left lane when you needed to turn right?

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

So basically the street I turned on (and planned to turn on) is the first street immediately after a very deep dip in the road. The way I wanted to go to my uncles house (and the way I knew by heart) required me to turn left on that road, so I was in the left lane, but my granny wanted me to turn right and go her way instead

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Tongue4aBidet@reddit

Don't blame yourself for poor navigation. You need to be in the right lane or it is going to be a right turn, should have been stated.

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Aggressive_Ad_5454@reddit

I feel ya, young brother.

Part of driver training should have somebody sitting next to you shouting stupid instructions, so you can learn to ignore them, like some Jedi mind trick. This will, unfortunately, probably happen many times over the years.

Failing that, keep in mind that going around the block if you miss a turn takes very little time. You can always make that choice.

You can also choose not to drive with people who crank up the pressure on you. Let them drive and wear your seatbelt. Or make them sit in back. Once you have your license.

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_mattyjoe@reddit

I need to get this off my chest.

I am an Uber driver, I have 13,000 trips under my belt. The only passengers that have ever done this to me are women. I don’t know why, but it has been probably 30-40 over the years, total.

From what I can tell, it’s like they become more worried about just not missing the turn than they do about safety. They freak out and expect you to just turn with no regard at all for anything else.

There have been a few instances where I stopped yelled at the passenger for doing it. One instance in particular was so bad, I almost posted the video online. This lady was SCREECHING at me like something terrible was about to happen. Scared the bejeezus out of me.

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RaCJ1325@reddit

Passengers who raise their voices, yell, or panic when you drive are the worst, especially if you’re new to driving or in an unfamiliar area. First issue is your great grandma wanting you to take a different way. You’re driving, you decide the route. The yelling is also insane. Don’t drive people like this, or make sure they know to stay quiet in the car. Because you’re right, it is your fault and if you’d caused a wreck, great grandma yelling would not have been an excuse. Not trying to be cruel, but you’re responsible for the car you’re driving so don’t put yourself in a risky situation.

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SATerp@reddit

When you're driving, you are COMPLETELY responsible for everything that car does. Your gg figuratively can go fuck herself, because she has no say (and no responsibility) for anything about that car, and you should treat her as such the instant you both get in.

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AllHookedUpNYC@reddit

Yup! After I got my license with my mother no less. So I wouldn't drive with her for quite sometime as I built up my driving "muscle". You gotta just let your passengers yell and ignore it. You are the pilot. You gotta stay in control.

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PeakedAtConception@reddit

You could have killed someone, you can't do that again. Time to leave grandma at home.

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khampang@reddit

Refuse flat pit to drive with her in the car. Some people are the worst fricking passengers ever. Can’t keep their damn mouths shut. My wife sometimes braces against the dash, or gasps etc. I’ll pull right the F over and tell her she can stop or drive. Pisses me off. On the bright side, sounds like it would have been her side that got hit.

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Omfggtfohwts@reddit

Don't let anyone dictate your driving. You go when you feel safe. Always check your surroundings and always go the speed limit. Do not do anything like this again. Never let them control your actions. You're in control. You got this.

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69brain69@reddit

You realized you screwed up. Don't hyper-obsess about it. Learned a lesson without a steep price. You're the driver, you do things at your own pace. Good drivers miss turns, bad drivers don't.

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Mumei451@reddit

Grandma can take an Uber tomorrow or chill the fuck out in the passenger seat.

Yelling like that isn't necessary, what's the worst that could have happened, you miss the turn and have to double back?

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Map-of-the-Shadow@reddit

Put her in the back seat where she belongs, if not the trunk

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bibkel@reddit

Never make a panic move. Miss your turn, find a safe place to turn around and go back and try again.

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substandardirishprik@reddit

I’m used to immigrants doing stuff like that to me all the time.

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Emily7014@reddit

I am a pretty good driver I'm 31 but when I was with my ex, when he rode with me I would fuck up Everytime. Just stupid stuff that I never do. He made me so nervous because he would comment on any and everything I did wrong. But other than that yes don't worry everyone makes mistakes. It does make me feel guilty when I do something like that too. It's fine you will get better too and be able to react better.

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dracotrapnet@reddit

A bad driver never misses their turn. Saying the quiet part out loud, "The bad driver fucks up traffic flow for everyone else while they do something unpredictable to make their turn."

Miss the turn. Make a turn around at the next cross over if you have to or re-route around city blocks. Yell at granny, "Stop back seat driving".

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thatarabguy69@reddit

Now you’ve learned to completely ignore a screaming female and keep focus when you are the driver

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PkmnMstr10@reddit

I know it’s entirely my fault as the driver

No, it was your great-grandma's fault. She pressured you into making poor driving decisions as a new driver. But this is a lesson to learn:

Never, NEVER, allow someone else to tell you how to drive unsolicited. You're behind the wheel, you're the one responsible for every passenger in the car. If they don't like it, tough shit. Drop them at the next gas station and they can walk the rest of the way.

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mustbefelt@reddit

Congratulations! You've encountered a completely unique experience that has never happened to anyone before!

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ElderberryWhich8320@reddit

tell your grandma to shut up next time. you’re the driver of the car. it’s yours until you reach your destination.

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littlearmadilloo@reddit

i will not drive with my father in the passenger seat for this reason.

dont blame yourself. obviously you are the driver and ultimately its up to you but she created such a dangerous situation by being so screamy at you.

i remember learning to drive. i had trouble understanding how to handle the wheel in a turn. it resulted in a lot of botched turns where id steer too much or not enough. my dad gave me so much shit for it. and then said something like ... "it seems like you're afraid of the car..."

yes. because it's 2 tons of metal hurtling at 45 mph and i'm learning how to control that. im not going to be immediately comfortable. some folks just do not do well in a passenger seat.

with my dad, it's always speed up, slow down, you need to let this person over, why did you change lanes, you need to turn ... etc etc. don't take it personally

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idahononono@reddit

Yes it is your fault; the driver is ALWAYS the one in control of the car. But parents, grandparents, or great grandparents pressuring young drivers are always the AH in these scenarios.

There is always another turn around the corner even if it takes you an extra minute or two; let grandma know you love her, but you’re all done with this type of behavior in the car as a new driver. If she doesn’t get it, she can use her Chevrolegs and lamborfeetis instead of riding with you.

Don’t feel bad, but use your own judgement, and remember the phrase “If I have to pull this car over to get you all to behave, you’re going to regret it!”. Damn grandma’s are out there causing enough chaos without trying to get you killed!

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gloreeuhboregeh@reddit

Ouuuu i get you, my mom was supposed to help me learn how to drive but I ended up asking a friend to teach me because she was also a dramatic type. There's a certain intersection nearby (one that I now take at least once a week) that she would lose her shit over. Gripping her seat hard, rapidly telling me over and over to be careful be careful be careful. I ended up telling her I needed her to calm down and she was the only reason why I would feel nervous at turns at all. Thankfully my friend was a lot calmer and set little goals for me instead of expecting me to go out on the main roads right away.

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TheGrouchyGremlin@reddit

A good driver will sometimes miss their turn. A bad driver will never miss your turn.

It's not the end of the world if you miss a turn. Tell your great grandma that if she can't keep quiet and calm, then she can find another way home.

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Life_as_a_new_weeb@reddit

Make a list of people you can and cant drive with. Because after this, its more than safe to say your grandma is NOT a good person to drive with. I advise against driving with her ever again.

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PaixJour@reddit

Keep duct tape, blindfold, and handcuffs in the glove compartment for unruly passengers.

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PixelCultMedia@reddit

Something like that happened to me tonight in a parking lot, but from the victims side. When the victim throws his arms up in a “What the fuck was that?” gesture. Don’t throw your arms up back at them like they fucked up. It just makes you look more confused.

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Street-Baseball8296@reddit

Nobody’s perfect, and this situation was a good learning experience to have, especially because nobody got hurt and nothing got damaged.

If you are ever stressed out or under pressure when driving, pull over and stop. This includes when you have passengers causing problems. Stop, take a breather, tell your passengers that they need to keep their mouth shut (or stop whatever they’re doing), and then continue.

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PleasantCandidate785@reddit

A few years after I got my actual license, I was driving for my grandmother running some errands one day. She's one of those ADHD people that has to talk almost constantly. We're driving along, and I had asked her a couple of times where I needed to turn and she kept saying "I'll tell you." So I'm driving along and she's just yammering whatever was going through her head, then mid-sentence gets suddenly loud and says "Turn here!" and sticks her arm in front of my face pointing. It wasn't quite a yell, but like rushed command. That combined with arm motion startled me, and I jerked the wheel the direction she was pointing without really breaking. We jumped a curb and barely missed the corner of a building, me going "Bwaaahhh!!!!".

I slammed on the breaks and got us to a stop in the parking lot. Grandma looks at me and says, rather sharply "The turn in was another 20 feet up."

I said "You startled me. I thought I was about to get hit or something!"

She says "Oh. Sorry." pause "Pull around front and I'll go in here then we can go on to..." and tells me where we're going next.

I sat in the car staring out the windshield trying to catch my breath and slow my heart rate while she ran her errand at that place.

I loved my grandmother dearly, but good grief, that woman never slowed her train of thought down long enough to see any passing scenery. And that train jumped around across about 100 different tracks at once.

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Shadowfeaux@reddit

lol. My mom gives directions like that sometimes.

Or she’ll be like “the street we’re looking for looks like that one” (as we pass a turn), then she’ll look over and be like “why didn’t you turn?”

I usually ignore her and just take the next turn I can.

Much as I sometimes know where I’m going I have a habit of turning on the gps on my phone to show the directions as a backup for myself and so others know the route is known. Sometimes it helps. It annoys my gf I have it muted and will miss a turn sometimes. lol.

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Overall-Tailor8949@reddit

At that point you pull over to the side of the road, turn off the car and hand the keys to granny. Tell her "YOU drive and I'll just walk home"

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OwnPen8633@reddit

I really respect you owning it but don't over think it. You did the best you could in a very shitty situation and you will have hundreds of these. They are experience and you will get better.

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Positive-End2956@reddit

someone should be telling Great Grandma no yelling at the driver…

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ScriptPunk@reddit

rule1: don't get in cars with AH telling you what to do in that manner

rule2: dish it back

you'll pick up the awareness soon enough. your anxiety is clouding your perception. just try to be safe but vigilant

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kenmlin@reddit

I knew someone that was a backseat driver and I simply couldn’t drive with his screaming.

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ShredderofPowPow@reddit

I drive a big rig that weighs 80k lbs. I have morons cut me off, and pull in front of me dozens of times per day. The sad part is they have no idea how close to death they come when they do that. If I'm not paying attention, and mitigating risk all around me(defensive driving) then those people cease to exist. You cannot stop 80k lbs in mere seconds. They would just be a speed bump at that point. This is your first encounter. This time is was your fault, and you got lucky. Next time it will be someone else putting you in danger. Keep that in mind, and don't get tunnel vision. Always be aware of every car around your vehicle because they will eventually put you in harms way, and you have to be aware to react or it's too late.

Next time you are the driver/operator remember that it doesn't matter what other people say/scream as a passenger. You are in control, and the fault is on you if you accidentally harm/kill someone for a stupid mistake. Missing a turn isn't a big deal. Spend 2 minutes to get back on track and be safe. I call these morons that race around with no regard for others "late to their own funeral". I'm not trying to scare you, but just make you aware of the reality of the roadways. You will encounter dozens of these moments a year. I experience dozens of them a day because of my job/heavy big rig I drive. Moms with baby on board stickers putting their whole family at stake because they simply don't want to wait 5 seconds for my truck to pass by before they pull out. Be patient, aware, and always expect the car next to you to be a moron...never assume anything. You'll be alright.

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Prestigious-Low3224@reddit

As a new driver as well, I just wait until I’m completely sure it’s safe to turn before I go

You miss a turn, no big deal

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brinazee@reddit

I almost flipped my Dad's van when I was learning to drive by him giving me a late turn instruction. It takes some time to learn the capabilities of your vehicle and of yourself, especially in unfamiliar routes. It's always better to miss a turn and backtrack than to cause or get into an accident. I know it's probably hard to ignore screaming grandma in the car, but you will probably have to learn how. If she didn't need to make a stop on the way, you have my permission to tell her that as the driver you pick the route.

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2E26_6146@reddit

I'm glad no-one got hurt. Your experience and reaction are examples of why inexperienced drivers are more accident prone than those who have a few years of 'aware' experience. Don't be too hard on yourself, you're new to this, but one hopes this event has taught you that 1) you have a way to go before becoming a fully competent driver, but maybe only a year or two if you're paying attention, and 2) you need to learn to stay in the moment and ignore distractions, which requires discipline and experience. A place to start is to discipline yourself not to make sudden or unanticipated moves, unless required to avoid an accident. Don't make turns from the wrong lane, and if it's too late to turn just go to the next exit and come back - you're the one responsibe, not a hysterical passenger or egit honking behind you. Make it a habit to scan continuously, so you're not surprised by someone in yoru blind spot - this takes practice and some never learn it. Practice not outdriving your sight distance, meaning slow down when approaching blind corners or driveways, and always have a way to bail out if cross traffic doesn't stop, such as at a light, or if someone turns in front of you without signaling. There are so many ways to get killed.....(sorry).

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DaMostlyUnknownComic@reddit

An ex used to do this same thing to me in the days before GPS. I finally had enough one day. I pulled over and shifted to Park. I turned the radio down. I said as calmly as possible, "Do not scream while I am driving because you have a shitty memory. If we miss a turn, just tell me and we'll double back."

To her credit, she stopped doing that.

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One-Masterpiece7030@reddit

I was in your shoes before. First time driving everything made me panic. Now after 19 years I'm a professional driver. Don't let her yelling make you "panic" you can't afford to make a mistake on the road. When you do learn from it and drive better. But try not to let your emotions get the best of you when you are out there. One wrong mistake a serious one is very life changing.

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HuckleberryHappy6524@reddit

Put on your big boy pants.

https://media.tenor.com/images/717ab9e879a51708fb2aafa67406f06b/tenor.gif

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Plus_Duty479@reddit

When you're behind the wheel, you're in charge. Not your passenger. You maneuver the vehicle, turn, accelerate and stop when you believe it is right AND safe. Confidence comes with experience, but you gotta stay calm, or you'll kill someone.

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CeccarelliPE@reddit

Ah. You learned the lesson that it is best to kick the side-seat driver out of the car. But it is your grandma. Yeah, we all been there.

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SettingAncient3848@reddit

Granma was the issue not you.

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Roshi_IsHere@reddit

Always use GPS. If anyone asks you to do something else tell them to kindly fuck off.

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Escapeintotheforest@reddit

I was older when I learned

My husband in the process going 65 Down a county road ( I still don’t like high speeds ) screamed frantically for me stop stop stop sign and cause of the pure panic in his voice I slammed the breaks…. It was painful .

There was no stop sign , no other cars around just this fking paranoid man screaming .

I got my license and now I refuse to drive anywhere with him cause what the actual fuck . If you can’t trust the experienced drivers not to panic scream wrong directions at you then holy shit do they have no right to complain when things go sideways

Anyways my nerves can’t take it , and I ain’t drive with him since

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TheEndDaysAreNow@reddit

Yes and other people telling you what to do does not help. 1) you will get used to processing all the information and thoughts needed to drive by getting more experience 2) my "turn now" experience was a gf telling me to exit a freeway at night. I had not slowed down because of the right now part and was doing 55 mph on a curved, elevated ramp rated for 25 mph. If I braked the rear would spin out so I four wheel drifted it down like a stock car driver on a turn. At the bottom I was real pleased to be alive and she was in tears. NEVER LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLE WHEN YOU DRIVE, YOU NEED TO BE IN CONTROL.

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Traditional_Basis341@reddit

First off, glad no one was hurt and no physical damage. I'm sure you pissed off the other driver but I'm sure they will get over it. Take this as a good learning experience and one I hope you remember to always watch traffic. Mistakes happen to all of us. Try driving with screaming kids, driving through a white out or thick fog. There will be other times you may have another close call but now you might have a better chance staying calm when it's needed.

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ElectricTomatoMan@reddit

You can't let idiots control your actions.

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Temporary-District96@reddit

nah fuck that. driving through italy, i had 3 women on my ass about driving in a foreign country... so i just gassed it even more till they stfu. but none of them wanted to drive when i offered 🫴

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letsgotime@reddit

Some times you just have to know when to yell back and tell the passenger to stop talking.

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Low-Limit8066@reddit

I wrecked twice 6 months apart within my first year of being licensed. Turned onto roads assuming the lane/lanes were clear and they weren’t. About 4 years later, I still don’t take openings I probably could’ve made because a) I can’t afford another wreck and b) they aren’t enjoyable experiences at all. Sometimes, when my boyfriend is in the car with me and in a rush, he likes to yell “go” and then gets aggravated when I don’t and make the comment “you could’ve went/made it.” I look him dead in his face and tell him he needs to not yell at me when I’m trying to drive and I’ll go when I feel comfortable I can do it safely.

He also is my “map” when I don’t know where I’m going and he does. He’s supposed to tell me where to turn etc. He doesn’t tell me something like “2nd road on the right, 4th driveway on the left” he pretty much likes to tell me when to turn 20ft from it.

You can almost always pass your turn to turn around backtrack to where you need to be. You can’t do that if you’re tboned in the middle of the road for doing dangerous and illegal maneuvers. Perhaps talk with your grandma about how you’d like to know what lane you need to be in plenty of time ahead of your turn so you can safely get over before then and how you need to not be yelled at because it causes extra anxiety. And how it’s completely okay to miss the turn and have to take a detour and you’d rather do that than be hurt

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sleepgang@reddit

You are in control when you drive. Let her scream.

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shiningdialga13@reddit

Tell grandma she needs to shut her mouth or she has to start using a taxi. No one does well driving while being screamed at, no matter how experienced you are. If she can't control herself and be a good passenger, then she shouldn't be a passenger at all.

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whoknowsman33@reddit

Someone once told me “bad drivers never miss an exit.” I’m glad you’re okay and able to learn from this experience to make sure something like this doesn’t happen again. Stay patient and stay safe

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slash_networkboy@reddit

I know it’s entirely my fault as the driver,

Yes and no...

I've taught three kids to drive and a couple more how to parallel park. What I learned teaching them is that *MY* remaining calm and telling them things well in advance matters a lot to their performance behind the wheel.

Imagine if instead of what you experienced you got:

In a couple streets up the road we'll be making a right turn, so you need to work your way into the right lane soon.

Coming up soon is that right turn, the street name is WhateverItIs and it will be the next street after this light.

Okay here comes the street, turn here.

You wouldn't have had a problem at all I bet.

My strong advice to you is that you have the following policy: If someone can't be calm when giving you directions then they're not allowed to give you directions while you're driving anymore. Stand up for yourself on this one because it's a safety thing. Strictly and liability wise if there was an accident, yeah it'd be your fault, but as a new driver people sitting with you need to try to remember how unnerving it was for them when they were first learning how to drive.

My other strong advice is: Learn to "take the L" on missed turns. It's only a couple minutes to go around the block or up to the next light, or the next exit on the freeway, it's hours and potentially thousands of dollars if you have a fender bender because of panic or being impatient.

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Old_Tea_9294@reddit

There's nothing worse than someone trying to tell you how to drive . Tell her to shut it "I'm fucking this chicken."

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Scragglymonk@reddit

tell your gran to be silent when having a lift and go the way that you know

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Educational_Meet1885@reddit

You were driving and knew where you were going. If she wants to go a different way pull over and tell her to drive. If she can't/won't tell her you're in charge.

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Cerus_Freedom@reddit

You're the one driving, not your grandmother. Missing a turn isn't a big deal or a reason to panic. You'll get where you're going, and missing a turn might add minutes. You can continue straight. You can maintain control. Yelling isn't going to hurt you, but hitting a car or losing control may kill you.

Confidence is necessary for good driving. It makes you predictable. If you're predictable, you're less likely to contribute to an accident. Do what you're confident doing first.

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FabulousPanther@reddit

Don't drive her until she learns to STFU!

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untoastedbrioche@reddit

I refuse to ride with people. and I refuse to let people ride with me.

my buddy regularly drives in the oncoming traffics lane like he has a death wish or is colored blind.

my brother will put his hands on his head and drive down the highway with his knees or 1 finger on the road (dumbass has a dash cam thinking it's others fault he's totalled 4 cars)

my mom runs red lights and nearly hits people parking because she's one of those morons who thinks your wheels have to touch the curb before parking. completely covering the sidewalk with the front of her car.

on top of that mfers will smoke weed and drive, pop pills and drive, or drink 2-3 glasses of wine at dinner not comprehending that 1 glass of wine can be the equivalent of 2-3 beers depending on glass size and alc. %.

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just1my2porn3account@reddit

Yeah I straight up had to yell right to my mom's face "shut the fuck up, don't talk at all while I'm driving. If you do at all, I am literally parking to the closest open spot"

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leemcmb@reddit

No, it is not "entirely your fault. " You, the driver, are in control. Never let another person dictate your actions behind the wheel.

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Dashfastbutsmartwink@reddit

It’ll take time but I feel you, it took me to the point I would allow ‘some people’ who wanted to tell me how to drive (similar to you) it’s not good for you or the other drivers. Thank you Jesus everyone’s ok.

If possible leave her home next time.. she is a distraction to say the least.

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bde959@reddit

First time someone starts telling you what to do pull over when it’s safe to do so and get out of the car and tell them to drive

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felidaekamiguru@reddit

It is not your fault as the driver at all. When people in the car are screaming at you, mentally block them out, pull over, and tell them to get out.

The very first time I drove in the city I had to tell my mom to shut up and let me drive. I wasn't used to half second gaps in traffic at 60mph as people changed lanes with reckless abandon.

But next time, it WILL be your fault. Now you know better!

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Ratfor@reddit

A piece of advice I was given that I will pass on to you.

Bad drivers never miss their turn.

It's true. They swerve, cut lanes, etc. A good driver should be able to say "Huh, made a mistake, missed my turn, oh well" and take the next one.

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Jazzlike-Pilot8738@reddit

It’s often the people who have no driving experience give the driver last minute updates in a hurry, as they don’t seem to understand the dangers of it. This could’ve gone terribly wrong. Glad no one is harmed in your situation. Now it’s important to learn from it: ignore any last minute directions from the people in your car. No matter how loud they are. Stay calm, and in your lane. There is always a next turn.

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POAndrea@reddit

Most important lesson from this: you don't have to listen to other people when they tell you how to drive. (Except me. Listen to me, even if only because I've been teaching the court's Traffic School for almost 15 years and I think I have a good handle on it now.)

You're at a fourway stop and the other guy waves you on? If you're not sure it's really your turn, you don't have to go. If you're waiting to make a right on red, and the jack[wagon] behind you honks, you don't have to go. If stopped traffic on a busy cross street is blocking your left hand turn into it and a driver waves you through, you don't have to go. Your passenger tells you to speed up/slow down/turn here--you are not obligated to speed up/slow down/turn here. You are the driver and YOU control the car. And that also means you decide what route you drive to get to where you're going.

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MikeCheck_CE@reddit

Your Grandpa shouldn't be shouting anything at you while you're driving and they clearly are not a good choice to help you learn. I'd look for a new driving partner to help you out and avoid driving with this person anytime soon.

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trexalou@reddit

So if you only have a learner permit… is GGm a licensed driver? Because if not, in many states that can revoke your learners permit and set you back a year plus fines.

Regardless, GGM needs to shut her mouth down if she’s gonna act like that. I taught both my boys to drive and never once did I scream at them like that. Now, one of them I had(have) to… encourage… to stay off the white line/shoulder… but even he would say I’ve never screamed like that. (Oof, except for that one time his wheel was quite literally on the edge of the ditch… which he could see the tire marks in the grass after I made him stop (very country road) so justified in yelling “watch your lane!”… lol.

Also, I’m well aware that there’s always a place to turn around if you miss a turn so I never sweat that even when I’m driving.

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

Yes, she has a license and has been driving for like 60-70 years. I definitely prefer my grandma over my great grandma. (GGM is almost 87, GM is 56)

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trexalou@reddit

I’m proud of you for being strong enough to admit an error and want to be better. You’re gonna do great with experience.

Just tell the GMs that you absolutely CANNOT be screamed at in that manner anymore.

Go practice on some country roads and work your way up to traffic. Go to an empty parking lot (without bumpers) and pretend there’s mad traffic and how to maneuver.

When the weather changes… go back to that same parking lot and practice again (heavy rain and especially any winter conditions) because your vehicle will react differently to your same actions.

You’ve got this (as long as they stop yelling 😉)

Does your state have a driving school? Would be worth a class.

My state (Illinois) has drivers ed as part of the state required High School curriculum as well as minimum practice hours with your permit before you’re granted a license. That really helped my kids.

Best of luck to you from a virtual momma. 😊

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Zomgsolame@reddit

Buy a ball gag. Leave it in the glove box or arm rest storage. Before turning on the car explain that its for people that scream at the driver.

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nerdymutt@reddit

Before your time but not your grandmothers, tell her Greyhound said “leave the driving to us”. It’s old, but I still use it to try to get back seat drivers to shut up. 🤐

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tony22233@reddit

Yelling at the driver is never a good thing. Glad you made it. We've all had close calls. I trust you've learned from this experience. Cars are much better at protecting it's occupants than when I learned in 1979.

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kavk27@reddit

Just don't listen to people when they shout orders at you. They eventually learn and stop doing it.

I was driving when I had a very bad car accident a couple of years ago. I am a much more cautious driver now, even though the accident wasn't my fault. This drives my husband crazy. His biggest complaint is that I get over in the right lane "too early", ie when my exit is a mile away, because I'll get behind slow cars. I don't want to rely on other people to let me in at the last moment.

The way I deal with it is to tell him to relax and enjoy being driven around or I'm driving, not you. I also drive with GPS on whenever I'm going somewhere unfamiliar so I know when turns are coming up and can be in the correct lane. This avoids having to rely on a passenger telling me, possibly at the last minute.

If I miss my turn, I miss my turn. It's usually not a big deal. You either turn around or let GPS redirect. There's no reason to stress over that unless you're on the highway in the midwest and the next exit is 30 miles away lol.

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

Lol I’m from west texas soooooo😂

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kavk27@reddit

Oh! That changes things! Run GPS so you don't miss your exit lol

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VapeRizzler@reddit

If that’s your biggest fuck up while driving, you’re doing great bro keep it up! That’s like a really really common thing in my area and people do it on purpose so don’t stress. Obviously you made the mistake so just learn from it which is sounds like you did and that’s really it.

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socom18@reddit

We all have moments like this as new drivers

Always remember, passengers are idiots. Even if they're grandma. Anything they say is a suggestion, and usually not a great one.

And if you miss your turn, you can always reroute and get there another way.

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GeneStone@reddit

You got to learn an important lesson and it sounds like there weren't any massive negative consequences.

Thankfully, you got lucky and got some REAL, hard earned experience.

There's plenty of great advice here already. Take it too heart, don't be too hard on yourself, and don't dwell on it too much.

I doubt you'll ever make that type of mistake again.

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

Oh absolutely not I can promise you that. That one time was scary enough to tell me to just tune her ass out.

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Equivalent-Desk-5413@reddit

yeah my mother was a terrible passenger , she would shout random things like 'watch the pavement'!? , she made me nervous to the point that I told her to be quiet when she was in my car as I'm a good driver and careful . lol 😂

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ScaryAssBitch@reddit

How old is this great grandma? I’m surprised she had the energy to scream at you.

For real though, I was my mom’s caregiver after she had surgery and I had to drive her everywhere for a while. Normally I’m a good driver but she bitched at me so much for the smallest things because she was being a backseat driver, and she’d scream at me. I still drove well but I made a lot of wrong turns because she confused and stressed the fuck out of me. Do not drive with someone who stresses you out.

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

My great grandma is gonna be 87 next month and I’ve been in the passenger seat while she drives and LORD ALMIGHTY she drive like a bat out of hell. I could list all of the stupid shit she’s done, but we’d be here all day.

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Zestyclose_Pickle511@reddit

Golden rule: stay on your lane, even if it means taking a loss. Never ever, ever, leave your lane without full confidence and diligence taken.

What does that mean in practice? If you're driving down a 2 lane (your direction) road and someone in front of you stops, or slows, or there's a blockage, you don't get to just switch lanes. You use your brakes and begin checking for a safe way around, or just to wait.

If you realize you're about to miss an exit off of a highway or a turn onto a road, take the L. Just chill, find the next turn off, and make the necessary adjustments.

Take the L for safety.

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

My new Motto is take the L for safety.

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RideAffectionate518@reddit

Get a pickup,put Grandma in the bed. Problem solved. Why do you think the Beverly hillbillies had Granny's rocker strapped in the back of their truck. She was always yelling at Jethro and distracting him.

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

HA i might just do that. Hell put her a couch back there she’ll sleep like a damn baby

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RooftopStruggle@reddit

Real quick, you can miss a turn and find another route or spot to turn around later. If anyone gives you crap you can tell them to download the Uber app and F off.

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randomkeystrike@reddit

There is a saying “bad drivers never miss turns,” meaning - they will be out of position and still yank it in the direction they think they need to go, causing chaos. A better driver, seeing the turn too late (or being yelled at GGM) says “we’ll go down the road and find a safe place to turn around.”

GGM is someone you need to learn to tune out. If you have GPS, set the direction and follow the route it gives you. If you know the way, simply say “I’m going a different way” and let her fume. I’m sure she’s a dear person but consider there is a reason she doesn’t drive…

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

My grandma (different one) is usually the one teaching me. The only time she yells is if im not slowing down fast enough and even then it’s not really a yell. It just happened to be that I wanted to drive with my friend and my grandma didn’t want to go.

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djmem3@reddit

Hot take. As the driver, every decision stops with you. A huge. Huge part of it is telling anyone and everyone is you car to either shut up, help, contribute or do/do not stuff. If they don't, they do not get to get in your your 4 ton death machine. Don't go fast, don't hurry, and kinda know the way before (maps is still not perfect and will always find a way to F* you over for exits). With the way ($$$) tickets are now it's just not worth it.

Why listen to my opinion? Drove like a race car manic from age 15-22, tons of speeding tickets, and while am the only 1 from graduating/moving from town without a DUI, still paid insane amounts of money in fines and spent time in jail for those driving tickets. If ya want the race car exp. Get a PS5, a rig and grand Turismo. Lived in Miami, and LA (the culture and money) where fast and furious is a lifestyle and see those clowns crashed all the time coming home from work. And, they all consider themselves class B drivers. They are not. No one is on city roads.

Always trust yourself, put yourself in a position to trust yourself, and tell your grandma to shut the fuck up, she doesn't know shit. I would also tell your parents what happened, so the blowback doesn't fall to you (every grandparent ever! is going to tell everyone that their grandkid did whatever - they have the time and nothing to do).

I would also say, definitely as a new driver, couple things, that are really going to help out: do all the music stuff before you drive, the way that screens are now there are 0 designated buttons even to do anything (on the screen) it's really distracting and nobody leaves 2 seconds from the car in front of them, any accident is money you diff. do not have and it's going to come out of you somehow some time - just not worth it. Literally. Carry a couple extra waters in the car (resuable or whatever) and some snacks in the trunk, at some point you are going to drive after drinking -- and while everyone says don't do it, and they're right! everybody has done it, and the difference between a really bad experience for everyone is being comfortable with saying no, stay in the lane do not speed or drive faster than conditions, or anything crazy (race. Challenges. Time attacks. Impressing people/dates, people you want to Boink) don't get too fucked up (monitor your drinks with a drink app/alc. Tester), and if you feel even remotely not 100%. Wait till below the line and have a snack and chill out), you're also going to want that stupid stuff like road flare, tire inflator, a couple of towels, gloves, and if in snowland some kitty litter to help get out of a stuck.

Other than that! Welcome to independence.

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DargeBaVarder@reddit

Your great grandma is a terrible teacher. You should NEVER panic change. If you miss the turn just miss the turn and turn back.

I’d be hesitant to drive with her in the car again until you’re more experienced.

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Accomplished-Suit559@reddit

When I (55f) was 19, I pulled over to the side of the road (I don't even remember why). When I pulled back out I just glanced in my mirror. The sun was in my eyes and I pulled out right in front of another truck before he could stop. The guy was so mad, screaming at me. I was trying not to cry and when he realized I was just a kid, he calmed down. We exchanged information and he said, "It's ok. When I was your age I pulled out in front of another car because I was too busy looking at a cool sports car." I'm so glad you didn't get into an accident. It's hard to let go of things like this, but it's a good learning experience. Stay safe. :-)

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michaelpaoli@reddit

You're the drive, you're in charge and responsible. Any passenger that won't behave, they can get out and walk. Next time grandma can walk.

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General_Ad_7949@reddit

1) Mistakes happen. Learn from your mistakes. Make sure you don't do that ever again. 2) It doesn't matter if she's your grandma or your own mother -- when you are the driver, you are in charge of your vehicle, you are responsible. You don't do anything unless YOU are 100% sure it's safe.

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MistaX8@reddit

It is always appropriate to tell passengers to shut the fuck up, even if they are grandma.

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agent_x_75228@reddit

My father used to criticize every little thing while I was driving, which made me extra nervous and sometimes would yell if he thought I was going to do something wrong, like "STOP" even though I was a car length away from the car in front of me and wasn't going fast, which almost always made me slam on the breaks out of instinct. I finally got tired of it when he did it and almost caused me to get into an accident, I pulled over into a parking lot to calm down and then just went off on him saying "Dad, you are making me nervous, stop yelling and doing that crap! You are going to make me have an accident! I'm not going to drive anywhere with you anymore if you keep doing that!" He apologized, realized what he was doing and stopped.

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Syenadi@reddit

The only thing you are at fault for is listening to someone shouting at you. If you are driving, YOU are driving, no one else. If someone is "helping" you by giving you directions from the passenger seat, they need to do so well in advance, calmly and clearly. If you do not get sufficient information far enough in advance to safely make a turn or change lanes, don't make that turn, don't change lanes then.

Worst case is you miss a turn and have to turn around: bfg.

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TheCamoTrooper@reddit

Yes I've done almost the exact same thing driving in a city for the first time with my mom, it was late night and I was turning left (advance) and was turning from a 2 lane to a single, I took it a little wide but had plenty of room to correct and at most would've hopped the curb anyway. My mom started freaking out and screaming to turn so I instinctively turned the "safe" direction of right, into the oncoming lane. Thankfully it was empty and I used the right turn lane to get back to where I was supposed to be, got pulled over and cop let me go. Stress is a huge thing when driving especially when just starting out, I pretty much stopped driving with my mom and just drove with my dad until I got my G2 as if I did something minority wrong he'd only make a calm comment after I'd corrected it to make sure I was aware. At most would grab the wheel but that was only once when sliding on black ice, no yelling and screaming made it much easier to learn to drive and I am now a confident driver and haven't had any incidents or anything in 3 years and 2-300k some km

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j_wizlo@reddit

Part of driving is handling bad passengers. The one thing required is that you maintain good driving no matter what they say or do.

Its okay. You made a mistake and no one was hurt so you got lucky. I have a few of those from when I was a young inexperienced driver. It would be bold to say I’ll never make another driving mistake again. Live and learn.

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Ok_Funny_2916@reddit

I hated driving, thought it was too hard for me, until I first drove alone. With no one in the passenger seat freaking out it gets so much easier.

The GPS adds stress, you think you have a deadline to make a turn, do something dangerous to get into the right lane. You just need to know that it really doesn't matter to miss turns, there are always like 50 alternative routes, just keep going and let the GPS reroute you if its hard to make the turn

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Icy_Confidence_7596@reddit

You'll get better at putting the back seat driving as suggestions. You've admitted you're doing well . Keep that in mind and just keep thinking about the driving everyday to keep getting better

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Active_Rain_4314@reddit

I can't count how many turns and freeway exits I've blown by because I didn't give myself time to safely turn or exit.....I just roll on down to the next exit, the world keeps turning.

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Single_Molasses_8434@reddit

Bro your grandma is a hazard

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No_Entertainment_932@reddit

I know it's kind of dangerous, but I hate when other people give directions so I always have the maps on my phone and look periodically.

Don't deal with people that want to scream and get mad in the passenger seat. If you don't feel safe to get in the other lane or make a fast turn, just continue and turn around or turn at the next one. 5 minutes added is way better than being in an accident

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ConcertoNo335@reddit

It’s a learning experience. Look on the bright side, you were competent enough to floor it when you saw you were about to get hit. That’s a good sign.

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dopey_giraffe@reddit

Youll get better as you get more experience. I was anxious like you when I started. 20 years later I roll my eyes and tell the overreactive passenger to shut it. It's your car, you control it. Missing a turn is something all of us do regularly.

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BumpyMcBumpers@reddit

You can always loop back around, but you can't un-crash your car. Sometimes even good drivers miss their turn, but a bad driver never does.

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Shatophiliac@reddit

You have to basically ignore your passengers. Don’t let grandma tell you how to drive, you drive how you feel is comfortable and safe. It’s better to go a block further and make a u-turn than cause an accident that totals two potentially expensive machines, all because grandma wanted to save 2 minutes.

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Weazerdogg@reddit

No. Because I would have told my great grandma to STFU under these circumstances. Wouldn't have even hesitated.

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steelbluesleepr@reddit

The fuck up is entirely on your grandma. She freaked out for no reason.

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Panthera_014@reddit

I teach my kids - if you are going to miss a turn - then MISS it - go to the next light/street - do a U Turn if needed - never ever try to jump off last minute to an off ramp or make an agressive last minute turn - not worth it

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SimmyTheGiant@reddit

Yeah bro, you're new at driving, you'll be fine. Just keep driving how you do, and you'll become much more confident.

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Initial_Guess_3899@reddit

The first thing I do when someone yells at me while driving is to become as predictable as possible. Don't listen to their instructions at all.

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Own_Shallot7926@reddit

This is the exact reason that in many states, young drivers have restrictions on driving at night or with non-family/unlicensed drivers. Having conversations while driving is distracting. Having a backseat driver barking orders is even worse.

In the future, put in your blinders and tell your passenger to buzz off after you've concentrated and gotten out of a tricky situation safely.

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Entelecher@reddit

Tell your grandmother to stfu. No one needs a backseat driver. Would the sky fall if you had missed the turn so that you didn't swerve into the lane of the other car? No. You'd simply make the block or go another way. Tell her you won't be driving her again if she can't behave in the car.

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KSTaxlady@reddit

Lesson number one, if you are driving, don't let anybody do your driving for you. If you have a way that you're comfortable, go that way. If Grandma wants to go a different way, let Grandma drive.

Likewise, if somebody's following too closely to you, don't go faster. If you go faster because somebody is tailgating you, you're basically letting them drive for you. If somebody tailgates me, I wither move over or drive slower.

Until you are comfortable driving, it would be better for you to not have passengers. I have been driving for 50 years and I still don't like having passengers because it divides my attention.

The next time Grandma wants a ride, tell her you're not comfortable taking passengers and leave it at that.

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Mitch-_-_-1@reddit

Ignore people like that. They aren't driving, you are. If they get on you for a mistake tell them is their fault for making you nervous. Remember, if you can't make a turn or exit (especially because you're not in the correct lane) get over when you can, or turn the other way, and come back around. If you are familiar with a perfectly good route, go with that route, unless they have a darn good reason not to.

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A_giant_dog@reddit

Grams isn't going to like it, but you're not yet confident enough to be a safe driver with her in the car.

And if you're not a big enough boy to tell grams that your and her safety come before you driving her around... Then your not a big enough boy to be driving because you are literally deadly.

That car that you didn't bother to look for could have just as easily been a family crossing the street that you would have destroyed lives forever. Driving is not a joke and you're not safe with her yet.

You will be. Just not now.

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cheatdeactivated@reddit

I'm 20M with a license. I can feel you man. My parents used to constantly poke me to steer, brake, look here and there, etc. I just stopped driving for a while. Told them I'll drive only if you are quiet or you drive. Took a while. Now, I never get poked.

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New_Breadfruit8692@reddit

You will learn as time goes by to do what it safe and legal and ignore others in the car as if they were not there. Just pull over in a safe place and tell grandma screaming directions at you when you are concentrating on the road is counterproductive and dangerous. That you need to have the directions to follow well in advance of when you need to follow them, and that if you somehow fail to turn right in the split second they give you that direction it is not just simply going to disappear into the twilight zone, you can always circle back around.

Do not let it rattle you, just remember that safe is better than on time for ANYTHING!

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Ricelyfe@reddit

Stressful situations, distraction whether in the car, around the car or just in life happens. Mistakes happen. I almost ran a red during a practice with my instructor when I was learning. I distracted my dad once and he turned into a one way, luckily it was a small quiet street.

There was no reason for your grandma to yell. You can ALWAYS BACK TRACK. That's something you should keep in mind: YOU CAN ALWAYS BACK TRACK. Miss an exit? Take the next one and back track. Miss a turn? Take the next one. That's not possible? Turn around at the next intersection and back track, pull into the nearest driveway/parking lot and back track.

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timfountain4444@reddit

Time to stop letting your grandma drive the car. Tell her you are the driver, and she needs to keep quite so you can concentrate on driving. If she can't keep quiet, don't take her.

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PraetorianHawke@reddit

Biggest lesson when driving. YOU are in control of the vehicle no matter what anyone else says or wants to do. No one bullies you or bosses you around when you drive. You are the "KING" of the car when driving.

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Zealousideal-Rice695@reddit

Look road conditions and traffic patterns can change in an instant and that’s is why you always need to be aware of your surroundings. With respect to traveling one way or another there are two sides to this one. First, try to plan your route ahead and pick the one that makes the most sense such as following a particular direction, trip length, and avoiding pitfalls like having to make a lot of left turns. Secondly, different is not bad. My wife and I had this argument. Just because someone else takes a different route doesn’t mean it’s inherently inferior to yours. Lastly, your car your rules and everyone can give their balls a tug.

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

I agree! I had no problems with the way she wanted to go, other than the fact I didn’t know it.

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JennyAnyDot@reddit

This is why I GPS most trips. I’ve moved and not sure of all the possible routes to some place. With the GPS on I can “miss” a turn and not panic or do something dangerous to make it.

I use WAZE because it tells you the route, any obstacles like objects in the road, cars on the side of the road, cops, and traffic. Reroutes if traffic or you miss a turn. Also can let you know the speed limit and your current speed.

My mom was a horrible passenger. She’d had a bad accident decades before and still was not ok. She would try to grab the wheel. Step dad slapped her once to get her to let go because she almost put us in a ditch. Made her get therapy but the back seat was the only place she could sit after that.

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Corydoras22@reddit

And she also should have no problem with the route you choose to follow. Again, you are the driver, you can choose the route you want to take, she can choose the other route if she is driving, or if you feel like going that way.

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Smooth_brain_genius@reddit

First, tell your Grandma to shut the fuck up and don't yell at you while you're driving, especially since you're still fairly new. Second, drive the way you were taught and stick to driving safely.

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ThirdSunRising@reddit

Do not listen to grandma.

This is not about driving at all. This is about having a backbone, a thing you happen to need to develop at the same time as you learn to drive.

Having a backbone means taking full responsibility for the drive and doing it well, and not reacting to every little critique from any fool who speaks up.

You’re not in the wrong lane if you’re not turning. And you’re not turning right from the left lane. Miss the damn turn. It doesn’t matter. You can go around the block.

So. Keep your cool, don’t worry about the critics, and drive your drive. Calmly. If she wanted you to be in the right lane she should’ve spoken up sooner.

Good drivers sometimes miss their exits.

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CobaltCaterpillar@reddit

An extremely important (but difficult) skill while driving is to:

ABSOLUTELY IGNORE bad instructions, advice, signals, etc.... that other people or road users are giving. Professional drivers don't let it even affect them.
Incorporate good information other road users and passengers are giving AND react to it, if appropriate, in a safe manner.

Examples:

Someone could be HONKING at you and screaming at you, "THE LIGHT IS BROKEN! GO!" Meanwhile the light is NOT broken, and it's all a bunch of BS. The dude is just hyper aggressive and wants to run the red light.
Someone is honking at you because you have a green light and you're still sitting there. You should wake up, and see if it's safe to go.
On the other hand, someone can be honking at you because you have a green light, BUT YOU SHOULDN'T GO because there's a pedestrian still in the crosswalk.
Oncoming vehicles flashes brights to signal they're stopping so you can turn in front of them, BUT there's a pedestrian/cyclist there and it's NOT SAFE to go. They're telling you to go, but you should continue to wait.

In cases of ambiguity, it's better to default to the in general safer choice (e.g. slowing down, not going, not changing lanes, not turning etc...) until you can figure out what is going on.

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CobaltCaterpillar@reddit

Another concept is that you want to keep your heart rate, stress level in a SAFE place:

Somewhat elevated heart rate and stress leads to attention and better decisions.
Excessive stress, and your body mistakenly goes into LION IS MAULING ME mode: blood gets pulled from extremities etc... This protects you if you are actively bleeding, but it perversely shuts down your reactions and decision making and is BAD in other circumstances.

Various training for the military etc... is to create high stress (but safe) situations that you might see so that you're more familiar and your brain stays in a high-functioning state when you encounter the real deal.

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SnooSquirrels9064@reddit

You're the driver. You should decide how you want to get from point A to point B. If it takes a couple extra minutes but you're more comfortable driving that route, or if you're intentionally taking what typically is a slightly longer route because you know traffic might be worse if you go a different way and could take you just as long, go whichever way you're comfortable going.

It's not the passengers decision where you go and how you get there, because if something happens on the way there, the blame is on you, not on them.

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Training_Calendar849@reddit

Grandma doesn't drive with you anymore, it's that simple.

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NoRegrets-518@reddit

It's always safer to miss a turn than to make a last-minute change. Remember this when you are on the interstate and notice that you're going to miss the exit. Even if you have to drive 40 miles out of your way, just stay calm. Also, it takes 1-2 years of regular driving before you have run into most of the traffic situations. So, until then, drive more carefully than you think you need to.

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lilbunnygal@reddit

My dad was such a stress when I was driving. He used to tut, which is worse than saying anything. There was also always the implication that was that I wasn't driving well enough and he should be driving. Or rather than me take him out in my car he would just get into his and we'd go out.

In complete reverse, my Mum is the perfect passenger. She's literally a passenger princess 🥰

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PhilSheo@reddit

What you probably should've done was gone past the turn and come back. But, I can tell you that, of all those involved, you're the only one still thinking about it.

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Esoteric__one@reddit

I always go the way that I know, or the way that my GPS tells me. I don’t care who is in the car telling me to go a different way. They can choose which way to go when they are driving.

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adultdaycare81@reddit

Sorry to hear that OP.

One piece of advice I would give you is that if there are cars on your right, you should be overtaking them. a lot of people don’t know what to do and start slowing down, it’s a pretty natural reaction, but then you’ve got cars on your right zinging past you. It’s good you hit the gas instead of the brake in and that situation.

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Glassfern@reddit

That's backseat worthy. If the side passenger cannot be a good copilot they sit in the back

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The_London_Badger@reddit

Child seat too, if they wanna shriek and cry out like s toddler. Give them a pacifier to keep em quiet.

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manjar@reddit

As the driver, you’re “pilot in command” of the car, and ultimately responsible for any accidents or injuries caused by the movements of the vehicle. So any input from passengers is just advice. And passengers who cause dangerous distractions need to be ignored or, if that’s not possible, stop being passengers.

Now that you’re moving into adulthood you’ll notice that there are times when you really can’t afford to be accommodating. That’s just part of being responsible.

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The_London_Badger@reddit

You are the driver. You are responsible. That means you don't move until everyone's seat belt is on and people trying to tell you how to drive can get the fuck out and walk. You decide on the journey and being driven by you is a privilege that can be revoked at any time.

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Opposite-Friend7275@reddit

No matter what they say, it's OK to miss a turn and drive a bit further.

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Tall-Measurement3795@reddit

Tip for when you're feeling stressed behind the wheel.

Remember, driving is dangerous and being stressed is also dangerous, so wherever you're going whatever you're doing is not worth a life. Breath, and find the safest place to pull off. Don't worry about missing a turn, pull into a gas station or side street and calm down.

Most accidents I see are people doing stupid stuff like pulling a uturn when there is no turning lane but there is one not 100 feet up. Go that extra 100 feet. Our people who missed an exit trying to get it at the last second. Just go to the next exit and go from there. You literally lose maybe a couple minutes. If that's enough to make someone late they left at the wrong time.

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EC_Owlbear@reddit

I had someone do this kinda shit to me once. I screamed at them and they shut up and never ever did it again. And they were also family. You can’t tolerate anyone driving for you when you’re bending the wheel. And yes, even if it was grandma, she’d get a stern stfu! I don’t play games behind the wheel.

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Playful_Original_243@reddit

Yup. This is the ONLY time I have ever yelled at my mom and she didn’t do it again.

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

Haha I’ll have to try that one. Like girl if you wanna see tomorrow let me frickin drive!

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lazyhustlermusic@reddit

Your awareness was impacted by your grandma being obnoxious.

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maryjayjay@reddit

When you are in the driver's seat you are in command. It doesn't matter who is in the car with you, you are fully responsible for the operation of the vehicle, the safety of your passenges, and you will be the one getting a ticket if you do ñsomething wrong.

I had incidents similar to what you describe when teaching my kids to drive and I told the that they MUST not allow to order them into an unsafe of uncomfortable situation. They are required to ignore unsafe directions, even from their parents.

In aviation they have a hierarchy of concerns, they say: aviate, navigate, communicate, in that order. You operate the vehicle safely and only after that concern is met, you keep the vehicle on route, finally communication is appropriate when it isn't distracting from the first two concerns.

It will get easier the more you do it. Stay safe!

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MrPuddinJones@reddit

No more driving with grandma if she's gonna be a tyrant.

Drive your own car. Who gives a rats ass if you miss a turn and have to go make a u turn down the road.

Don't do what you did again.

Sometimes going a minute or two down the road is okay if it means avoiding an accident or wild maneuvers

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freakbastqueryal@reddit

Don't let your passenger do the driving. When you drive, YOU are in control. If you miss a turn, guess what- you can turn around. Don't let your passengers make you do stupid and dangerous things.

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DisorganizedSpaghett@reddit

This happened all the time until I learned that when I'm in the drivers seat, everyone else can shut the fuck up about their wants and needs. Unless it's retrospective comments on your driving behavior, FUCK 'EM. They'll get you killed with their fuckin stress.

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Beneficial-Year-one@reddit

Don’t drive with Great Grandma in the car again at least until you are an experienced driver.

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gadget850@reddit

When you drive you are in control of the car and you need to not be distracted.

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unwittyusername42@reddit

First of all you need to tell great grandma to shut the hell up with the screaming while you're driving. Yes, you should have checked your surroundings before making a lane change but she isn't helping the situation.

Let me just say this. When you're driving you are in control of where and how you are driving. People in the car can suggest you go a different way and you can choose to go that way or say no - you are in control. If you miss a turn, you can also turn around and go back to the turn.

I would have a sit own with her, not be a dick, but very firmly say you are just starting driving and you cannot have people yelling at you to go different directions last second and she needs to be quiet or tell you well in advance and if she cannot do that you are not willing to drive with her despite you wanting her to be with you.

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SilentMaster@reddit

Back seat drivers are the worst. My wife is an anxious driver. I'm a very good and very defensive driver. I haven't been in a wreck in over 30 years. The two wrecks I had were due to brake failure in a very old car and I got rear ended. Neither were my fault, ok I should have known my master cylinder was rusting through, but I digress.

My driving record is spotless and she treats me like I'm a teenage idiot, but more to the point her constant shrieks and reactions distract me from the road and I tell you what, NOTHING pisses me off more. After doing this to me over and over I finally started pulling over and yelling right back at her that if this is how she's going to act when I drive we will start driving everywhere separately. I followed through with this one time. She had just done it to me again and we had a family get together that evening. I told her we were not driving together and I would see her there.

She still does it occasionally, her reaction to things can't be helped and I don't fault her for that, but she doesn't vocalize anything loudly anymore, so it doesn't create a dangerous situation and I don't mind.

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herbicide_drinker@reddit

don’t let grandma ride with you no more

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sqeptyk@reddit

It's not your fault you were being bullied by a non driver. It is your fault that you bowed to peer pressure. When someone who isn't in the driver seat tries to do the driving for you, it is up to you to put them in their place. You can be nice about it if they are reasonable/understanding. Or you can be a smartass by either telling the person that they can jump behind the wheel if they want to drive so badly, or drive poorly on purpose to make them too uncomfortable with the idea of riding with you again.

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jerpois1970@reddit

Has anyone else made driving mistakes? Yes, every driver has. Next time you have someone navigating for you, be clear with them that you want them to tell you a couple blocks ahead of the turn that it’s coming under. And, never steer your vehicle into a space you haven’t checked for other cars or people in. Always look at your blind spots.

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Bill_Hayden@reddit

Avoid unfamiliar routes; it greatly increases your mental workload. When you're starting out that's hard.

Also your Gran probably meant well but she was backseat driving and nearly caused an accident, so next time she should learn to shut up.

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YordanYonder@reddit

It's called backseat driving

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BoobySlap_0506@reddit

Your grandma sounds like a high-stress individual and should probably not ride with you while you are so new to driving. You need to drive with someone who will guide you and remind you but not panic if you miss a turn or something benign.

Hell, I've been driving for around 15 years and I wouldn't want someone like that in my car. Maybe start by being nice and explaining to her that the situation made you uncomfortable and you would be more comfortable driving the way you are familiar as you get used to driving.

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seems_taken@reddit

If you can, please use public transportation.

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Sky_Baby05@reddit (OP)

In all honesty I could, but please remember that I’m still very new to this. Before I got the learner license I had never even been on the road before.

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seems_taken@reddit

Im just trying to save you from hurting yourself or others. Don't be in a rush to become a driver. Be a passenger and analyze everything they're doing and what other drivers are doing. Even once you've got all the basics down you then have to watch out for terrible drivers. It is actually dangerous on the road.