Parents at your sports?

Posted by Tri_Guy72@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 160 comments

For those of you that played sports when you were young, did your parents attend? As a parent of two kids that are very active in sports, I am at every single game. I don't recall missing one since they started playing years ago. The only exception would be if both were playing at the same time in different locations, where my ex and I divide and conquer. I played a ton of sports growing up and I don't recall either of my parents being there. My dad traveled during the week and was too much of an asshole narcissist to attend on weekends. My mom was working two jobs and usually unavailable. I feel like I caught rides to/from practices and games. I remember always looking around to see if one of my parents was there but 90% of the time, I had no one. It affected me then and as a parent, it still lingers and I can't even fathom not watching and supporting my kids playing. I often wonder if others had similar experiences or if most of you were fortunate enough to have at least one parent there cheering you on?

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socksagain1968@reddit

They didn't come see anything. They did go see the boy at church when he was in a play but never me.

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BrownDogEmoji@reddit

I was in marching band, and my parents would attend events only if they had signed up to be band boosters for the event. And they didn’t sign up for band boosters more than 2-3 times in a season, which covered at least four parades, 12 football games, and at least 6 and usually closer to 10 competitions.

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quahogga@reddit

Band is not a sport. Sorry

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BrownDogEmoji@reddit

Hard disagree. We were on the field practicing 3-5 hours daily. We had inside music rehearsals for at least an hour daily. We marched a perfect 90° angle chair step all the time while playing our instruments wearing wool uniforms in high heat and humidity. We had to learn multiple routines that were complex and required us to be hitting our marks perfectly. You try marching all day in August while playing a brass instrument with braces on your teeth and then come back and tell me it’s not a sport, mofo.

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Southern_Process_102@reddit

>

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punkdrummer22@reddit

Dad was at every single game even traveling to all the tournaments. I just wanted some time alone with the team sometimes as he was always there. It annoyed me as did he have to be there everytime?? Mom made it when not at work

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scratch1971@reddit

Rarely had a parent at my little league games. Dad traveled for work, Mom liked to hit the bottle. However, I have three kids, one of whom has cerebral palsy. Between travel baseball, football, swimming and now lacrosse, at least one of us has been there 99% of the time.

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MowgeeCrone@reddit

Just once when I was 7 or 8. My mother turned up halfway through one game. I caught someone out. Proud moment for me. Lasted one second though. My mother laughed so hard at my catch I heard her from the outfield. She laughed harder that day than I've ever heard her laugh to this day. When she stopped being bent double from laughing, she started mocking me. Making comments about the shocked look on my face from 'accidentally' catching the ball. I was so confused yet humiliated by that memory for so long. Felt like the biggest loser in the world for the one highlight of my softball season. I didn't know the term narcissist then.

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imalloverthemap@reddit

Parents hardly ever came. TBF I do not understand the obsession to attends kids’ activities

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KookyComfortable6709@reddit

Nope. The only time one of my parents saw me play was because he drove the bus to the event.

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twas_brillig__@reddit

I was a band geek but my parents never came to a single halftime show. Ok wait, one they came to and stood outside the fence in the parking lot. Woohoo. Too bad they went to them for my older siblings and did things like taking them and their friends out after for dessert/cocoa. Mom was a full on Girl Scout leader for my older sister for 4-5 years. Zilch for me, no help at meetings or campouts etc

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Technical_Echidna_68@reddit

I recall my parents going to my sporting events up through age 12. Middle school it was hit or miss. High school I don’t recall them going to many events because they were right after school while they were both working which was fine. I attend the vast majority of my kids sporting events mainly because I coach half their teams. Id like to support them and watch them while they’re young since it won’t last forever but I don’t think it’s necessary to go to all of them. Kids need to begin feeling and being independent come middle school. They don’t need mommy and daddy hovering over them forever.

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GreatGreenGobbo@reddit

Played casual softball when I was 10/11 parents never came. Just rode my bike there and back. Wasn't far. For me it was just an activity.

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Useful-Philosophy408@reddit

My dad attended everything. Mom skipped it

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Ok-Box2946@reddit

My parents were loving and involved but they didnt attend all games. Maybe 1 or 2 a season. It would be hard for them to attend given their work schedules. But to be fair, I wasnt a great athlete in track, and they had no understanding of the rules of field hockey so I dont think they were super interested anyway! They did attend the sports banquet though and the school plays I was in.

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FesterJA@reddit

Parents and sometimes grandparents at all of my and my brothers games/events. Now I drive by the school and see parents watching their kids practicing and wonder #1 How do they get so much time off for this crap and #2 WTF are they watching practice for, let the coach do the coaching and the kids do the learning and earning of their spots on the team mommy and daddy dont need to be around for that stuff.

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Ok-Box2946@reddit

I saw parents at middle school soccer tryouts. It was so weird. I don't think there are parents at practices though.

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ZealousidealGrape982@reddit

No, my mom and Dad went to very few my games, only the big ones. Most of the time I had to find my own ride to practice and games or I couldn’t go.

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Excellent_Brush3615@reddit

My dad quit driving us (my sister and I)to practice and games when I was 12 (sister 10) because we didn’t say thank you one time. I remember him announcing this to us in the garage. My mom ended up driving me until I was 18. By then , 2practices a day, 530am and 430pm.

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nycguychelsea@reddit

My parents refused to let me play organized sports because they didn't want to have to be responsible for getting me to practice and games. Same thing with scouts. Or really any organized activity.

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

Did that make you resentful and if so, were you able to get past it at some point? Sorry you had to deal with that.

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nycguychelsea@reddit

It bothered me as a kid when I really wanted to play little league, but I got over it by the time I was in high school. At that point I could go wherever I wanted without my parents. As an adult looking back, both my parents worked, and my dad was putting in 10-hour days and frequent Saturdays. So I could understand not wanting to make that commitment.

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rraattbbooyy@reddit

Not only did my mom and dad attend every little league baseball game my brothers and I ever played in, my dad was often tapped to call games from the booth and my grandfather was an umpire. They never let Gramps call games we played in, just to avoid the appearance of impropriety, not that he would ever cheat, but it was always a treat when my dad got to announce when my team was playing. We don’t have stats from back then but I would be willing to bet I was a better hitter when he was doing the play by play.

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

What a great experience you had and awesome memories! Sorry for your loss 😔

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Smiley_Smokey@reddit

Never. They would never leave work early for anything we kids did.

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SquintWestweed@reddit

My dad worked nights, so it was almost impossible for him to attend anything. My mom went to almost all of my baseball games, and even drove the team to a few away games. She never went to any of my football games though. Maybe out of fear of seeing me get hurt, I never asked her about it. Parental attendance wasn't really a big deal for me, either way. I played for me, because I enjoyed it.

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Expensive-Cherry3298@reddit

I liked your comment but can’t see the original article about Doug assaulting a woman in 2012. What happened? Did he grab her by the pussy or something? Rape her like Trump rapes minors and his wives?

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SquintWestweed@reddit

>I liked your comment but can’t see the original article about Doug assaulting a woman in 2012. >What happened? Did he grab her by the pussy or something? Rape her like Trump rapes minors and his wives? Are you lost?

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Expensive-Cherry3298@reddit

Nah I know what sub I’m in and who I’m talking to. Idiot

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SquintWestweed@reddit

Nah, just admit that you don't know what you're doing. But, nice try. Maybe all the soy in your diet is affecting your cognitive skills.

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Expensive-Cherry3298@reddit

Or maybe the conservative sub that is so anti-censorship won’t let real people speak there, so I followed you here to ram my dick down your throat. Fuck you buddy. You’re dumb as shit.

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DocRules@reddit

First year Little League (9y,) parents had perfect attendance. Year two, Mom went to none and Dad would drop me off and go to the bar (he claimed he was going back to work, but is a guy going to be on a roof from 7 to 4 and then go back up on a ladder at 6?) One game I was waiting for him to come and give me a ride and one of his employees showed up instead and dropped me off. After the game, Dad was late picking me up. I was the last one there and the guy working the concession stand stayed with me, and got more and more annoyed as time went. I told him to go home but he refused out of being worried for my safety. Dad finally shows up and I get in the truck and let him have it, yelling about how mad the guy was. He then let \*me\* have it, screaming about how he had to pay Louie ten bucks just to give me a ride, and how I didn't appreciate any of the things he did for me, the hot meals, the roof over my head... In the context of my piggy bank, ten bucks might as well have been a grand and I felt guilty. So guilty I didn't ask to play ball the next year. I finished out the current year as to not be a quitter (We finish what we start in \*this\* family!) A couple years later I was allowed to play junior high baseball because it just so happened that the school was walking distance to the bar where Dad could be found every day anyway, so I'd just meet up with him where he was to catch a ride home. I wanted to play baseball in high school, but my parents told me if there were any extra-curriculars I wanted to do, I'd have to get a ride from a teammate. Spring of freshman year, my buddy's brother was captain of the track team and recruited hard -- even promising rides if need be (he was about to get his license.) Four years track, three years cross-country, zero meets for Dad, one for Mom. The one she went to had me conflicted -- I was happy she was being supportive, but I had worries that she'd hear something incriminating or catch a glimpse of someone sneaking a cigarette and I'd have stuff to explain away that night. Her extrovert-boomer-yuppie introducing herself to my friends and other classmates I'd known for three years made me cringe in the moment, but everyone seemed to understand.

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79killingtime@reddit

Dad showed up when he could/when he felt like it. My mum made it to most things. And every now and then neither could make it but I never thought twice about it. Grandparents on dad’s side would show up every now and then as well.

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imadork1970@reddit

Mom showed up at T-Ball.

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XTingleInTheDingleX@reddit

My dad coached my teams. It wasn’t always awesome, but I think he was doing his best.

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Relative_Ad9477@reddit

My parents were not always at my brothers baseball games. However, I was at every single one with him.

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snaithbert@reddit

My mom COACHED my soccer team for a few years. So yeah, she was at every game. Not sure where my dad was but pretty much any place my mom was, he was not.

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iwantmy-2dollars@reddit

My mother literally never came to a single game and I played high school through junior college. Never gave me a single ride to practice. Never cared. Female gym teachers and girls who play sports are <insert derogatory gay slur>. My dad lived two hours away and tried to make it to 1-2 games a season.

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PahzTakesPhotos@reddit

There was a couple of years that we played soccer (we being myself and my slightly older brother). One or both parents were at our games. Dad was in the Army, so sometimes he was working and couldn't attend, but Mom was always there.

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ephpeeveedeez@reddit

Never had any parents at my games or anything except my high school graduation. I’m at every softball, mma, soccer, and dance event. If either of us work at least the other parent will go for certain. We know what it’s like to search the crowd for someone. We’re always cheering for our kiddo and happy to be a part of their life.

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AZPeakBagger@reddit

I was in a bike race in college that literally went past my parents house. All they had to do was sit up in bed for 30 seconds to see me ride by. They couldn’t even do that. For HS cross country they never, ever showed up.

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WichitaTimelord@reddit

My dad came to all of my football games both home and away. He missed a few track meets, which was fine by me because I was not very good at track. My mom only went to the home games. She didn’t like to watch. She would worry. The game I limped off the sideline with a strained groin muscle was probably harder on her than me. Although I was the one who had to use crutches for a week afterwards. I have gone to almost all of my sons’ football games. I think the only times I have missed is when Theo game times overlapped. I was at one son’s game and my ex was at the other. I missed one basketball game to go to a family wedding out of state. I missed one track meet last year with a work conflict. I was upset I couldn’t go.

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Ok_Asparagus_6404@reddit

In my elementary years, when I took voice and dance lessons, my parents never missed a recital, and my dad took a video of many of them. After they divorced, when I was in choir, musicals, and swam on the high school team, my dad wasn't close enough (or welcomed by my mother) to attend and my mother would attend maybe one of each, each year. She did, however, attend most of my brother's sports practices and NEVER missed one of his games.

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ClevelandClutch1970@reddit

I caught rides to practices and games, or I rode by bike. I can remember riding my bike to football practice with my gear on! They attended only a handful of games in a 6-7 year period....including high school. They were too busy working or just didn't care. However, I never missed a practice or game for my two kids, and was often a coach so I could spend more quality time in their presence. I wouldn't have done it any other way.

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irishgator2@reddit

Sounds very familiar!

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

Likewise. As a divorced parent who already doesn't see my kids as much as I'd like, I have always cherished being at their sporting events. If they are with their mom on that given day/weekend, it's like bonus time for me. They are growing up so fast and I just want to take advantage of every moment I can.

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Gator1508@reddit

Pop Warner football I rode my bike to the next town in full gear for three seasons. Never missed a game or practice those three years even when I was sick.

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jfellrath@reddit

They attended sometimes, if they could. Not always, though. I was the oldest and sometimes my parents just needed to stay home with my siblings. I never felt neglected about it, though. And when they did come it was always special.

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fiddlegirl@reddit

In reflecting on my childhood/teen years, I realized that my mom actively (and subtly) discouraged me from playing sports or participating in other extracurricular activities. I'm pretty sure it's because she didn't want to go to the things.

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Pandas_dont_snitch@reddit

My parents did the same. I recently mentioned i didn't do any activities and her response was that "I never seemed interested". We have very different memories of my childhood.

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Careless_Ocelot_4485@reddit

Are we related? It's interesting because now my nieces and nephews got to do all kinds of things and one sister had her girls on traveling teams for gymnastics and volleyball. Another niece made state for track this year. I feel my sisters are making up for the fact my parents did not encourage us to do anything because we only had one car and my dad was usually using it for work and my mom couldn't be bothered.

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fiddlegirl@reddit

OMG, are you me? This is exactly the response I got too.

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No_Row6741@reddit

I'm this mom. If the kids ask to do a sport, I 100% will support it, but if they are not asking I am not offering. Why? Because I don't want to have to take them to practice or watch games. I hate it. But, my mom was always at all our home games and I feel like that's what I have to do. So my kids have to be so interested in the sport they are asking me to sign them up.

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fiddlegirl@reddit

Ah, but it sounds like you're not actively discouraging it.

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DaveFoucault@reddit

My best mate did that with his kid too. I felt sorry for the little boy because he loved football.

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

Thanks for sharing and that's unfortunate, especially if you were really interested in playing. Were you still able to participate to some extent?

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fiddlegirl@reddit

Sort of? I grew up not as sporty as I might have been (it doesn't help that my high school eliminated the tennis team the year I started there), but eh, I'm not super bitter about it I guess.

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CalifGirlDreaming@reddit

None. They occasionally went to my siblings sports though. My parents would even car pool me and a couple others and they would leave during practice or the game. I am still resentful that I was dragged to every concert and play when they were in high school but no one ever came to my choir concerts, academic awards, or drill team performances.

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Chai-Tea-Rex-2525@reddit

My parents would occasionally come to games. I was a terrible athlete so they didn’t miss much.

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gatadeplaya@reddit

My Mom wouldn’t even go to back to school night to meet teachers, she sure as hell wasn’t showing up at anything I was involved in. Couldn’t I get a ride or walk?? Her go to was “I just need to take a a Valium and lie down”

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gothfru@reddit

Every game, every time. Mom,Dad, sister, brother, and often grandparents.

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Neither-Price-1963@reddit

From the varied responses to the question, I have to ask, how did you feel about that. Were you embarrassed that they came or were you glad?

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gothfru@reddit

Both? I got some good natured teasing for "bringing my own fan section" - they would set up chairs along left field and everyone knew they were there for me and my team :) In retrospect it was really nice to feel supported. We all went to my brother's baseball/football games, too.

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Neither-Price-1963@reddit

It's nice to hear that families like that really do exist. ❤️

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slowtreme@reddit

My parents didn’t attend any of my sports stuff. I rode my bike to the ball field. Played my games and went home. I went to every practice and every game every concert for my kids the for 14 years.

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elijuicyjones@reddit

I attended a very famous audition-only performing arts high school, where we worked and performed with some of the greatest musicians of our age who came as guests — people like John Cage and Yo-Yo Ma — and my parents missed plenty of my concerts.

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EttaJamesKitty@reddit

I played basketball and my parents rarely came to my games. My mom didn't drive so if she came it was a home game. And I didn't really want my dad at my games b/c if he came to a game, he was usually drunk so he'd be totally obnoxious. He'd get down on the court with us when we were warming up and "help us" do layups or get our rebounds. Or during a game he'd yell at my coach to put me in. Made me want to crawl under the bleachers I was so embarrassed.

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geddylee1@reddit

Parents and grandparents were at every game from little league through high school—including away games.

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HairyEyeballz@reddit

My mom would come to my baseball games until I told her to stop cheering me by name because it made me feel uncomfortable. I don't know if she was playing the hurt victim or if she just misunderstood what I was saying, but she never came to a single event in any sport after that (so after maybe 10 years old). The only time I remember my old man being at a sporting event, he was hammered and yelling at the ump. Like you though, I'm there every game, and was even at most practices up to a certain age. And I coached for several years.

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Neither-Price-1963@reddit

I played girl's softball at my father's insistence for 6 years until my parents divorced. I was lousy & hated it from day one. He rarely helped with practice at home, never attended a team practice, only occasionally attended a game & when he did, *refused to sit in the bleachers* with parents who did regularly attend. Instead he brutishly imposed on the coaches who had dedicated years to the league, insisting on "coaching" first or 3rd base. None of the adults could stand him, as was the case with most people. He's 84 years old & still watches women's high school/college softball on TV. It's kind of creepy. Our mother had no interest in any of our activities. She spent all her free time reading Harlequin romance novels. She's added Match 3 video apps to her activities but that's still all she does. This is still typical of both parents, bare minimum involvement on any level. As a result we (3 girls) had very limited access to sports or activities that extended only to things that we could do without parental involvement. Swimming, biking, running around in the woods. Is this typical of our generation's parents? Why were they like that? They claim that they had good parents, why were they so immature & shitty?

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

That really sucks about your softball experience. Sadly, it's not uncommon to see those types of parents at times when I go to my daughter's softball games. I never took it to that level but I've had to back off "pushing" my daughter to play. I think at times, she does it because she knows it's important to me but she's also at that age where she would rather be hanging out with friends, doing other stuff. Few, if any of her school friends play softball, so she's a bit of an outlier with it. I think there is a lot of value in team sports but when a parent makes it more about them, it absolutely ruins the experience for the kid.

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Neither-Price-1963@reddit

We could have learned team values without sports if our parents had put any effort in to "valuing" the most important team, their family. Family activities that give children an opportunity to discover their own interests are so much more important, but as kids we were obligated to do what our dad dictated. It's disrespectful to not to. But it's all good. After our parents divorced, I was able to dump "dad activities" & develop my own interest based talents without worrying how he felt about it. I'm still a little resentful of all the time I wasted trying to appease my father over something as frivolous as sport but in the end I got to be who I am, married to an amazing guy, with a close, loving family and I never had to touch another softball. 😎

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SS_Frosty@reddit

My parents rarely went to anything of mine, mostly because I was the oldest of four, and could handle myself. They would go to my dance recitals, but my dad had undiagnosed ADHD and constantly had to go to the lobby and missed many of my numbers. I can’t say it affected me much, but I grew to not liking them being there, it made me uneasy when they showed up. My dad greatly preferred watching my brothers play baseball over me playing softball, and I was aware of it.

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Sintered_Monkey@reddit

Nope. When I started, I was terrible at all of them, but eventually I got much better at one (and only one,) which was distance running. After I got to be relatively good in high school, my mother felt bad about not watching and genuinely wanted to, but the whole concept of having family watch was just so weird by then that I asked her not to. I think eventually my father felt bad about it too.

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Deamonchild666@reddit

My mom never saw me play little league baseball or football,just Dad

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jhilsch51@reddit

always had one parent there for games and my mom coached my teeball team one year (we did not do well)

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handsomeape95@reddit

Nope. For little league, I rode my bike or got a ride with another kid's parents. In high school, I took a public bus to/from wrestling practice and matches. One Saturday, we had a tournament on the other side of the state. Told my dad I'd be gone all day at the tournament. Took a public bus to school and a charter bus to the tournament. Other parents were there cheering their kids on. I won my first match and came home feeling good about myself for once. When I got home that night, dad slapped me across the face because I was gone all day. Stopped playing sports after that.

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DaveFoucault@reddit

The only time my Dad really talked to me was after rugby games. Everybody though I was just a gifted player who scored a lot but really I was just a young boy striving and trying like fuck to get my old man’s attention. As far as my kid goes I went to all his football games from the age of 6 until he was 16. I had to. I coached the team. He moved out of town when he was 18 and I went to most of the matches between 16-18 too; I actually enjoyed these a lot more as now I was only a parent and not in charge of anything. He just finished university and has moved back quite close to our area and I was anticipating watching him play on weekends again; however, this won’t happen as he has to work weekends with his new job.

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sineofthetimes@reddit

My parents showed up at everything I ever did. I could find them in any audience because my dad had a very recognizable cough. They were at my brother's things too. He's since become a band/choir director. They've attended almost every concert (played/sang/directed) he's had since the early 80s.

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digawina@reddit

No. But they made sure to go to all of my brothers' games. Girls sports aren't engaging, you know. ![gif](giphy|L3L4zXkjFFwoQEcQMf|downsized)

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Key-Contest-2879@reddit

I don’t remember my parents even going to a little league game after my 1st year, and that year my mom was there to pick me up (but not for the whole game). The next few years I rode my bike to games and never saw one of my parents there. Maybe that’s partially why I quit sports before I even got to high school 🤔

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ColoradoInNJ@reddit

No. My parents were divorced, and my mom worked multiple jobs. It was just me and my team and my coach. Never bothered me a bit, either.

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MommaBear354@reddit

My parents came to my tball games but that was probably because I was on the same team as their friends' kids. My dad went to my sister's softball games. My mom? Hardly ever if at all. And when I joined soccer my mom sat in the car and read a book. I quit because I didn't want to bother her anymore with taking me. Ahh good times

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gt0163c@reddit

My parents were at any game they could be at. When I played youth league soccer, with games on the weekends, both my parents were there. when I played soccer in high school, my mom was at all my games. Dad came when he could. That might mean only the rare Saturday game or if we played a bit late/he was able to get off early and we played near where he worked, he might be there for the second half. I liked that my parents were there. Playing in high school we didn't have a lot of spectators. Often it was just my mom on the sideline. She didn't always know everyone's name so her cheering was sometimes kinda cringy. But she was there. And the other players knew that she was willing and able to help out if they like needed a band aid, safety pin or spare blanket from the car (if she wasn't using it...we played in some pretty miserable weather) or a hug after a tough loss or whatever.

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Pnknlvr96@reddit

Never. They came to my senior night games but that was it. I was only good at one sport, so they wouldn't even see me play in the others. I think I played better knowing they weren't there. I had friends whose parents came to every game and I think they hated it.

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fridayimatwork@reddit

It was considered weird when parents were there watching. Only a few did, and their kids were teased for it. I recall my bf urging her dad not to come to our basketball game on the rare occasion he expressed an interest in going

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

That's an interesting point that didn't cross my mind since I had such a bad relationship with my dad and only remember his total lack of presence with everything. I do remember some of my friends having a parent there but maybe it wasn't as common as I recall. That has definitely changed over the years, with so many parents at games now. Some who probably shouldn't be, given their poor behavior with coaches, umpires, etc.

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fridayimatwork@reddit

Yeah it’s very common. This same friend goes to her grandsons soccer practices and he’s like 5 lol

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Reader47b@reddit

It was weird for them to stay and watch at practices (as many parents do now, probably because they don't want to drive home just to turn around and drive back to get the kid), but not at games. It was expected for parents to attend games, at least where I lived.

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fridayimatwork@reddit

I am older and grew up in a poor rural area, so I can only speak to what I experienced. The nicer districts we played against seemed to have more parents around.

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Just_Masterpiece_914@reddit

Every game. Always. Grew up in a small town in Mississippi. In the late 70s, my older sister wanted to play softball, but there wasn’t a program in our town. We had to go to the next city to play, but games were on weekdays so my dad worked and couldn’t go. Mom was a teacher, so she did. Dad was not happy he couldn’t watch her play and I wanted to play also. So, dad went to the city to ask about starting a program. They said “girls don’t want to play softball. It won’t work.” It was the 70s. He said if I get enough girls, will you give us a place to play. They agreed. So, as a family and with a few family friends, we made fliers with sign up sheets and stood outside the local grocery store on weekends handing them out to every girl that passed for the next few weeks. By the time we finished, there were 60 girls signed up! We had enough for four teams!! The city was stunned, but they also lived up to their promise and found a place for us to play. And that began a program that grew to now well over 500 girls playing summer and travel ball, high school programs, state titles, college scholarships, and more. My dad coached one of the teams and many teams after. My mom hated sports, but she put up a card table and sold drinks out of two liter bottles for $0.25 to raise money at games. She then learned how to do score books and kept those. So, yeah, my parents were there for softball, basketball, or whatever sport we played and I loved it.

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

That's an incredible story and so awesome that your dad fought for a team like that and the city holdinh up their end of the bargain! Where there is a will, there is a way!

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Sad-Status-4220@reddit

Played little league for most of the 80s, and the only parent that usually showed up was the coaches. My parents both worked. For Gen X, where I grew up, sports was our babysitter.

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

That's a great analogy that holds a ton of truth. And back when coaches could actually hold command of the kids without being disrespected or pissing off a parent.

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Sad-Status-4220@reddit

I'm not sure how it is today, but our couch would yell, kick us in the ass to make us run faster, put bats behind to stay in the batter box, throw gloves at us. If we told our parents, they would say we probably deserved it for not doing what we were told. Times have changed.

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

Completely different now. My kids' coaches can be firm at times but they are very careful about crossing boundaries. Mind you, "boundaries" that were totally fine to cross when I was a kid and actually expected from parents. As a result, I see kids now that are very disrespectful to coaches, gripe if they don't get to play a specific position, parents who gripe for the same reason and just a lot of apathy from the kids. All the rec coaches I know, do it for free and it's often a thankless job. I respect the hell out of them for giving their time, effort and energy to some of these brats and shitty parents.

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Sad-Status-4220@reddit

I totally agree with you. Damn, do we sound like boomers? Lol

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FewBee5024@reddit

My father would watch my baseball games if he was around (he traveled a lot for business) he didn’t care about soccer or basketball. Never said a word. My mom would come sometimes, but she was often making dinner or doing other stuff (I have three older sisters, only boy). What was different is you didn’t have nearly the number of obnoxious helicopter parents. I liked that my dad never said anything, even liked it more when no one was there.

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jjschoon@reddit

My (51m) parents were at every game, but my wife's (51f) parents made a big deal about going to 1 per season. She was only allowed to play sports that her best friend/next door neighbor played because her parents would bring her to and from practices and games. We made it to every sporting event that we could for our 4 kids and my parents did the same. Her parents would come watch their grandkids once or twice/year.

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Easy_Ambassador7877@reddit

My parents made it to very few of my athletic activities. My dad worked an hour from home and my mom didn’t learn how to drive until after I did and we didn’t live in town. And when my dad got home from work it wasn’t time to chill out. There were cows to feed and other farm chores that needed done. It kinda made me sad as a kid but in reality there weren’t a lot of parents that showed up for anyone else either because we were a small rural school. So I didn’t see it as a big deal. For my own kid, I am there for every school presentation. I enjoy it and I am glad I can be there to support my kid and to see in person the results of the work they put into their projects. I think sometimes they wish I wasn’t there cuz I’ll talk to their friends or otherwise embarrass them somehow lol

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cmacfarland64@reddit

My parents came to every football game that I ever played in or sat the bench in. They only came to like 2 wrestling meets my whole life. They liked football and didn’t really understand wrestling.

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littleheaterlulu@reddit

I played sports but didn’t want the extra pressure of having my parents there so I begged them not to come. They surprised me once by showing up to a basketball ball game in 7th grade and I was pissed. Everyone is different of course but I think it’s most respectful to ask your kids if they want you there and if it matters to them either way. There’s no reason to assume anything.

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KatJen76@reddit

I am one of the only people of my generation who has never played an organized sport but I think my folks would have been there. They went to my sister's gymnastics and softball. What always surprises me about today's families is that a lot of parents seem to go to the practices too.

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nakedreader_ga@reddit

It's me! I stay at practices, for the most part, I just have something to do. My daughter doesn't seem to mind (except when I took some sewing to wrestling practice. THAT was frowned upon). I also only have one kid. Unless I specifically need to run an errand while she's practicing, I'm usually there.

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siamesecat1935@reddit

Right? my mom dropped me off, we carpooled, and then, when I got my license, she was THRILLED to let me take the car myself. I liked it too since I didn't have to call and wait to be picked up! we never quite knew when we'd be ready as we had to shower after, we'd chit chat, etc.

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

I go to practices and if I'm not asked to help, I just read, scroll, chat with other parents, etc. My kids practice about 20 mins from home, so it's not really feasible to drop them, drive home and then go back a short time later. I notice that most parents are either there or they use it as a chance to run errands.

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MyAuraIsDumpsterFire@reddit

My mom would watch me at dance practice but I begged her not to because she was so critical. They both watched my swim meets during the summer. No one's parent watched swim practice.

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msomnipotent@reddit

My father went to bed early and my mom worked nights, so they didn't go to any after school thing. And God help me if they had to go to a teacher's meeting. I was on a softball league during my early teens and none of the parents showed up for any of the teams. My parents wouldn't even help me figure out where the different playing fields were. If I forgot to ask the coach for directions the practice before the game, I was screwed.

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nakedreader_ga@reddit

I have two older brothers. We were all very active in sports and music (oldest brother). My parents went to everything, as far as I can remember. I, as the youngest, was drug to every concert or high school football game that my oldest brother played in.

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VonPaulus69@reddit

I played baseball, swam, and played high school golf, my Boomer parents were at every swim meet and little league game, high school baseball and golf matches were usually a bit harder for them both to attend, but usually at least one would be there, despite my mother having zero interest in any sport. They were very supportive. I have an 11 year old who plays travel baseball, and my wife and I have never missed a game. Not all Boomer parents were assholes.

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

Awesome story and great that you and your wife are the same way with your son. Especially with travel ball, which can be extremely demanding (and expensive).

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CountryMonkeyAZ@reddit

My mom was team mom, every sport I played. Be it 1 degree outside for a hockey game or driving to Homer for a baseball game. Dad made every game he could.

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FuckedUpYearsAgo@reddit

Mom went to one football game. My last one in HS. And that's cuz she drove my GF.

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Confident-Echo-5996@reddit

Mine were at most, least one of them probably 90% and other 10% was one my brothers events. I do remember most boy scout, events, birthdays or whatever it was drop off.

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Mouse-Direct@reddit

I was not an athlete (by any stretch), but I did cheer, and my mom came to all the football games. Mainly to correct me when I called a cheer, “Hold! That! Line! Panthers!” and she informed me we had possession of the ball, haha. My dad came on occasion, but I grew up in a really small town where Friday Night Lights was the social event of the week. I have attended every one of my son’s ballet recitals, gymnastics competitions, and theatre productions, but I actually like all of those things and I’m way more interested in my only child (they had 2 of us) and less busy than my parents were (they owned a grocery store with 6-11 hours, I work in higher ed 8-5).

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

That's awesome that you attend those. He will definitely remember it and appreciate your support.

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MaineMan1234@reddit

I played soccer in high school and I would pray my father wouldn’t come to my games. He was THE star soccer player in his region in Italy in the late 1950s and when he came to my games, he would pace up and down the sidelines, yelling at all my teammates on what they should be doing. Of course this was rural Maine in the mid/late 80s, so most of my teammates couldn’t understand what he was saying due to his thick accent. My Nonna came once to a game and only said afterwards that it was “una gioca brutta” — an ugly game, meaning that we didn’t really know how to play soccer Personally I have mixed feelings about showing up for every game for kids. It’s great to be supportive, but they really should be doing it for themselves and not for anyone else or for validation. And it’s not a bad lesson to learn that sometimes in life you have to do shit that you have committed to without any external validation.

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siamesecat1935@reddit

I think its ok to show up for as many as you want, AS LONG AS you don't do what you're dad did, or ther parents do, screaming at the kids, coaches, belittling them, etc. But if you come, watch, cheer, and STFU when your kid doesn't do well, then its fine.

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

Great point. I'm super competitive and I try really hard to never make my kids' sports about me. I have my moments of course but some of the parents I see flat out ruin the experience for their kids.

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MundaneHuckleberry58@reddit

Nope. Nobody ever came. I told my mom again this summer that she could have been at the 8th grade track meet where I took 1st place in 2 individual events and 1st in the team 4x100 medley, all with the flu, and got recruited to hs varsity....

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

Does it still bother you? I was a good baseball player but not great. However, it always bothered me that neither of my parents were present for my first and only over the fence little league home run. I think mostly because my dad always considered me a failure and I just wanted him to be proud of me in that moment. I remember looking around to see if by some chance he was there but nope...

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PDM_1969@reddit

Played Tennis in high school, my parents never saw me play a match

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siamesecat1935@reddit

I wasn't really too involved in sports until jr. high. I did play softball before that, with the town league, for a couple of years, but honestly don't remember if my parents came or not. I sucked horribly, so fine if they didn't. once i hit jr. high, i was in a competitive sport, not affiliated with the town or school. it was a HUGE time commitment, both for the athletes and parents, so mine were there. Home competitions they would help out with getting us ready to perform, or selling food, or whatever needed to be done. Away, my mom, and many others, would come and chaperone. I did that for 6 years, and am glad my mom and dad were there to see me! And if for some reason they weren't, other team parents would pick up the slack.

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Mets1st@reddit

Nope, never. I broke my nose playing baseball, the coach gave me a towel and told me to go home and have my parents bring me to the hospital. I walked five blocks with a bloody towel and sat at the kitchen table waiting for my parents. They were not happy having to take me to the hospital.

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

Ha! Love the injury is an inconvenience vs the over-coddling of today's kids. Totally relatable and glad I grew up when I did.

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D-Ray1469@reddit

My dad was at all of my races before he passed. But after that I was always with a friends parent.

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Formal-Cut-4923@reddit

My dad forced me to play sports when I was a kid. Not once did he show up. My mom did but never my dad.

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Automatic_Cat2777@reddit

I had both parents attend nearly every sporting event, class play or similar function. One or the other occasionally missed something, always due to their job schedule. If I had to put a number on it, I’d say both attended about 85-90% of them. No complaints here.

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ShelbyDriver@reddit

My dad coached all of my softball teams and my sister's from age 8 to adulthood, and my mom learned to keep score, so they both were at every one of my games and my sister's. They attended every one of my brother's baseball and football game unless it interfered with a softball game. Then mom would go to my brother's game and my dad to our softball game. My maternal grandparents attended them occasionally as well. I guess I was the lucky one.

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

That's awesome that you had so much support!

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raf_boy@reddit

My parents were barely participants in my life.

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slr0031@reddit

My parents also were not there. My dad was on the middle of his affair and never bothered to show up. My mom also worked many evenings and was probably afraid to run into my dad and his mistress understandably. I only remember her at one in high school.

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

Sorry to hear that but I can relate. My dad was unfaithful as well. He made an effort for those needs but rarely for his wife/kids.

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sugarlump858@reddit

No. My mother bragged a lot about freezing her butt off very early in the morning in a very cold ice rink for my lessons. WTF? 1. I never took lessons in the morning. Only after school. 2. She was never at my lessons. EVER. Others took me. She just picked me up. 3. It wasn't that cold in my rink because it was in a mall food court. By 10 am, it was chilly, but not freezing cold. Other than that, my parents never really encouraged us to have extracurricular activities. It would mean taking time out of their "me time" to take us there and back. I was even made to feel guilty asking for rides to sleepovers.

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big-muddy-life@reddit

There were the kids whose parents never missed a game and those whose parents never or rarely came. I thought it was funny that my dad never missed a football game yet the only basketball game he came to was senior night. 🤣 What I find weird is the parents who go to every practice. Once my kids hit middle school I just dropped them off.

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MissLushLucy@reddit

Yeah, my parents were always there. They even coached us for years.

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mpls_big_daddy@reddit

My dad went to my first football game as a 6th grader. Coach didn't play me. Dad never came again. I played JV and Varsity football until I graduated. Mom has never come to one. I've gone to every single soccer and hockey game for my daughter, and every single football game for my son, except one, where I had a big work day and couldn't get away.

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Gator1508@reddit

Also: all the parents I knew that didn’t watch their gen x kids play definitely drove their second marriage millennial kids all over the country to do horse shows and taekwondo and whatever the fuck else millennials were doing.

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Gator1508@reddit

Core painful memory unlocked. My parents nor any of the randos they dated as I grew older ever attended my stuff. My middle and high school were central to the district which meant they were two miles outside my town out in the country. If I missed the late bus I was walking home from whatever it was I was participating in. Including in the dark and snow in the winter. In crappy welfare shoes and yes from my school to my house it was indeed uphill both ways. It’s why I finally just stopped participating in stuff after like 9th grade.

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Legal-Introduction99@reddit

My parents went to every game and practice I had for as long as I can remember. Now, I do the same.

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PheesGee@reddit

My dad coached our teams whenever he could

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djhyland@reddit

Not only did my parents come to my (cross country, swimming, and track) meets, they continued to go to meets after I graduated. First it was to watch the underclassmen thst were on the teams with me, but then they got invested in the new runners/swimmers as well and just kept going. They didn't make every single meet, either for me or the althletes that came after me, but they were definitely present. Even close to 20 years or so after I graduated they'd still go to the home meets. My mom is too limited in her mobility to go anymore but she still follows the teams online and in the papers. I (and many others) were very fortunate to have such dedicated fans.

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NoAbbreviations290@reddit

Hahaha. I think my parents came to maybe one of my HS games. One. Maybe.

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Keefer1970@reddit

My Dad was the coach when I played Little League baseball, so he was obviously at every game. I don't recall my mom ever attending, though.

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solon_isonomia@reddit

I tried baseball, basketball, soccer, and football when I was in elementary school. I usually had to get myself to practice via bike or I'd be dropped off and then picked up (I wasn't good enough at riding a bike while carrying a helmet when I was 11). When it came to games, I think my mom stuck around for some of them because it'd almost be a waste of time to drop me off and come back because she'd have to turn around so quickly. I remember she took pictures during one game, but that's it. The next time I did an organized team sport was swim team in high school; I was responsible for getting home from practice and I think my parents watched only one home meet during the whole time I was in high school. It didn't bother me that much back in the day, tho being a parent right now I feel like it's a little odd they only showed up once to a meet when I was a teenager. To be fair to them, I never asked them to come to a meet and I think my parents were erring on the side of respecting my independence as opposed to inadvertent neglect.

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ExtraAd7611@reddit

My mom came to some games but obviously hated it. She always brought a crossword puzzle to do. She had zero interest in baseball and I was not good enough to be worth watching. I also did crossword puzzles during my son's baseball games, when I wasn't score keeper, but it was on my phone and looking at your phone is now normal.

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ParticularCurious956@reddit

I was the one knitting through band competitions, football games and concerts. Always a small, easily portable project that I could do by feel. My kids have seen me knitting enough to know it doesn't distract, more the opposite.

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oldschool_potato@reddit

My dad coached baseball and they both came to my football games. When I dropped baseball and switched to lacrosse they never came to those, but those were weekdays after school. Dad was pissed I dropped baseball for some screwy sport so I'm not sure he would have come even if he could.

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solon_isonomia@reddit

Clearly your dada wouldn't be a fan of Archer lol.

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Reader47b@reddit

My sibling never played any sports. I played soccer for 4 seasons in elementary school, but played no sports in middle or high school. Yes, my parents were at my games in elementary school. In high school I did drama and speech. They came to one of the showings for each play (not always opening night) and all of my speech competitions. My kids had a lot more games and presentation-type events than I did - probably three times as many. At least one parent was in attendance at each of them, and often both of us attended. Neither of us went to every single one, however. And there was ONE tournament neither of us went to, which was held during the workday, 2 hours away, that the school bussed the kids to. Otherwise, one or the other of us was always in attendance.

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Usalien1@reddit

My father came to as many of our soccer games as he could. He co-organized our team trip to Scotland, so I'd say he was there. Mum, well, once we lost a couple of games when she was present, we told her she was bad luck and shouldn't attend anymore. She didn't show it, but that was probably the best present we ever gave her. I know she didn't enjoy them that much, and never learned how to drive anyway.

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GeoHog713@reddit

I played sports from Jr HS through College. My dad missed one of my games in Jr High Only game we lost in 3 years. I'm almost over it.

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PGHNeil@reddit

Nope. No dad died when I was an infant and my uncles didn’t take an interest in me so I sucked at sports. My mom was either working when I was little or letting me fend for myself while she did her own things. I learned to fly under the radar to avoid bullies. OTOH when I was 17 I enlisted in the Navy and by 18 I was in boot camp in Chicago. I didn’t invite her but she showed up anyway, snapping pictures of me in my cracker jacks and Dixie cup hat. It was humiliating, but my dad and uncles were all squids so I followed in their footsteps.

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Ok-Local138@reddit

It was a different era. I don't remember many parents at my competitions, unless they were volunteering in some capacity, or if they'd brought a bunch of kids in a carpool.

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Affectionate-Map2583@reddit

My mom came to a lot of my activities/sports but my father only did a handful of times. I never missed anything for my son until he was in high school and I skipped a few cross country meets and one orchestra concert, but I felt guilty about it. He also did lacrosse, horseback riding and swimming over the years.

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jjruns@reddit

My folks were kinda separated when it was my turn (youngest of 4) to do sports. Rarely did I see them at any games in middle school or high school (club sports were out of the question - too much time and money). It never really bothered me because I knew they had to work. My older siblings or parents of friends would give me rides to/from games.

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The_Outsider27@reddit

No, they didn't watch. The Gen X kids I knew didn't like parents around watching us. At my dance recitals when Silent Gen mom showed up, after she would criticize me. I began hiding the fliers from her. Stopped attending classes (still feel bad about her paying when I was not showing up) When I saw how hyper involved parents were with Millenial kids and the whole play dates thing, it sort of creeped me out. Gen X was neglected no doubt but I prefer that over the way parents plan kids every move of today.

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monstermack1977@reddit

My parents went to more football games to watch my younger sister (9 years younger so well after I graduated) march in the band at halftime than they did me actually playing football. Also I was in band as well and they never came to the games or performances where I marched For baseball, half the time I was expected to ride my bicycle to/from my games and practice. The other times they'd drop me off, leave, and come back around the time the games were over....and we're talking it was that way from 4th grade little league through high school Yeah parents did not give two craps about me playing sports.

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Tri_Guy72@reddit (OP)

Your 2nd paragraph is spot on Gen X. Maybe my situation was a lot more common than I remember.

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Full_Mission7183@reddit

My mother would go to my baseball games if she could sit in her car in the outfield to watch them and not come out with the fellow parents on the bleachers. Dad was too busy coaching and going to new family's sports and games. The only games I missed my children playing were a couple of Middle School games and if I was in a different time zone. I guess I would have made more money had I missed a couple of games.

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