Is it possible for a middle class family from the US to move to Mexico with older teens. Advice?
Posted by Careless-Awareness-4@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 35 comments
We're a family considering relocating to Mexico with teens (16, 17, and 18) to find a better quality of life. I have a bachelor's degree, TEFL certification, and I'm close to completing a master’s in behavioral psychology. My husband, an electrician with 25 years of experience, occasionally does government contracted service. We're exploring options to work remotely or commute for my husband’s job, which is based in California.
We’re frustrated with the rising cost of living and uneasy political climate in the US. It feels like a culture of working just to live. I’ve done a lot of research on moving to Mexico, including the different types of visas and necessary documentation. My brother, an expat in Portugal, has told us that the quality of life in many places outside the US is superior for various reasons. From what we've learned, we feel a strong connection to many aspects of Mexican traditions and lifestyle. We love the culture and have no desire to live in resort areas or bring any sense of entitlement. We're homeschooling and want to show our kids the beauty of diversity in cultures outside the US.
We’d appreciate any advice on areas that allow us to blend in while working remotely or commuting across the border. Is this feasible, and what should we consider when making this transition?
Electrical_Hour_4329@reddit
Our family 44F, 51M, 17M and 1M are thinking about doing the same. I lived in Portland, Oregon for much of my life but now live in the other Portland in Maine. Not sure if it will end up being a year round thing or if we'll just spend part of the year there and keep one foot in the US but would love to stay in touch and share information. Mexico is a beautiful country and we're looking just outside Puerto Vallarta, where we have spent a lot of time. It's a lot of pieces to pull together but we're definitely thinking about a simpler, more peaceful way of life and it just feels further and further out of reach here in the states.
hinoou69@reddit
Possible? Yes, Good for you? Probably not, Mexico, even though is cheap, is only cheap if you live like a regular mexican, regular mexican house, living with Mexicans and speaking Spanish, being an immigrant in Mexico is QUITE EXPENSIVE, all the "expat living" is expensive and your wealth can easily disappear if you aren't careful, also, if you have healthcare issues or get involved in legal issues, it could have a huge impact in your lifestyle. The best option for you is a cheaper city/state in the US, to live a cheap life in Mexico, you must fully integrate with locals.
Confident-Error9890@reddit
As long as you make a good income, you will absolutely love Mexico! I’m mexican living in Mexico City, I’ve had a good life and I don’t need to move for a better life. I have it all here and my family too. However, I wouldn’t dare to minimize insecurity and poverty that impact a lot of mexicans daily.
With this being said, chances are you’ll be fine and happy, just don’t be surprised when you do see the other reality.
I have spent time in developed countries over the years and the truth is, insecurity and misery are everywhere and increasing because the world is crazy. Mexico is a big country and there’s room for everybody. :)
Draconianfirst@reddit
Why? Do you México is one of the most violent countries around the world? What "quality" of life? Unless you are not a latina you will be the foreign forever. Do you have mexican roots to understand their roots?
Careless-Awareness-4@reddit (OP)
I have friends who are expats in the Otay Mesa area, and I come from a family that has traveled extensively throughout Latin America. My father, if his health allowed, would love to relocate to Argentina—he absolutely loves the people and the culture there. My brother is currently in the U.S. to care for a family member but is working on his Golden Visa for Portugal.
One of our main concerns with staying in the U.S. is the growing gun violence, political unrest, and the reduction of reproductive healthcare options. I had to pull our daughters out of school because of what I consider an alarming number of school lockdowns, whether from bomb threats or shooting threats. 3 in one school year and we live in a rural community. I've learned that Mexico has higher crime rates, particularly in drug trafficking areas, I’m also deeply concerned about the fact that 81% of murders in the U.S. involve firearms.
I understand that every culture is unique and deserves respect. While I don’t know if I have roots in Mexico (I’m adopted), my friends tell me they’ve found life in Mexico to be more peaceful and community-focused than in the U.S. Just like here, they suggest that “it’s all about knowing where to go and where not to.”
TequilaHappy@reddit
Otay Mesa is in San Diego, CA. You wouldn't be an Expat in you lived there. May they live in Tijuana and work in Otay Mesa to earn dollars and spend dollars. you could certainly live in Ensenada... the daily commute would be killer for your husband, but you can get a remote job... a $20-$25 job remote to start for you would be easy... you're husband could work in San Diego as an electrician but he should look into van and sleep in it a couple days during the week.
Draconianfirst@reddit
ARGENTINA IS NOT MÉXICO ... BUT WHATEVER. PEOPLE GO BY THEIR OWN FEET TO DISASTER
Spascucci@reddit
There are More than a million American expats living in México, do you really think all 130 million mexicans aré living in a war zone
Careless-Awareness-4@reddit (OP)
Most of what I hear from people living across the border, if they plan well is that they enjoy the country very much. I'm not sure how I stirred up this person's anger, it's Reddit so it happens.
RetirementAce@reddit
As a Brit who has lived in Mexico for nearly 30 years I’m sorry to say your idea is crazy. Do your research and you’ll come to the same conclusion.
crazymf___toogoated@reddit
Brother, just out of curiosity, how on earth do you think that the place in which youve lived for 30 years is not a good place to live? Or did i misunderstand your comment?
RetirementAce@reddit
Depends on your personal situation. I had a supportive Mexican family who helped me establish a successful business which I sold after 20 years and retired. Starting from zero would be very difficult as salaries are very low and to achieve a US style standard of living is available to very few people. It is a great place to retire, however - if you have US income.
crazymf___toogoated@reddit
Yeah i get ya, cool story aswell, are you mexican or do you have a mexican spouse? cuz you mentioned youre a brit lol.
Careless-Awareness-4@reddit (OP)
I am trying to do my research, reaching out to expats to understand their perspectives is a type of qualitative research. Could you help clarify which part seems crazy to you? Is it the idea of moving with young adults or moving when we’re not retired? Since I don’t have the same experience as you, I'd love to hear your perspective.
alloutofbees@reddit
You want to uproot your kids and move them to another country only for them to turn around and go back to the US for college in a year or two?
Careless-Awareness-4@reddit (OP)
I'll admit, when I read, "You want to uproot your kids and...?" it made me feel defensive, though I assume you meant well. While this wasn’t what I asked about, I'll address it.
Our kids are always part of important decisions. They've started feeling unsafe, and we already pulled them from school after multiple lockdowns due to bomb and gun threats.
We live in a rural town 45 minutes from Portland, Oregon. College is uncertain for them since it's incredibly expensive—about $30,500 per year at Portland State. We're not wealthy, and while we once considered sending them to the University of Wyoming, the current climate has us rethinking that.
They want to travel and experience life. However, it's hard to find full-time work, and most jobs pay $16-$22 an hour for part-time. With rent ranging from $1,000 to $2,200 for a two-bedroom, and no access to benefits, it would be difficult for them to afford living on their own. They're aware of this and plan to stay with us until they make a decision.
turtle-turtle@reddit
What career prospects for their adult lives do you expect them to have with a high school degree from Mexico as their primary credential?
Careless-Awareness-4@reddit (OP)
My youngest is extremely intelligent and has a strong interest in STEM fields, particularly excelling in mathematics and science. They’re likely headed toward a career in a scientific field and are also passionate about Japanese culture and language, with hopes to participate in a work-study program in Japan.
My second oldest is an accomplished graphic artist. Their drawings are phenomenal, and they’ve been refining their techniques. They’re set to graduate early, having already completed credits in English language arts, science, and social sciences. They plan to test out in mathematics within the next six months.
Our eldest, has already graduated but is still figuring out their path. They’re also highly skilled in graphic arts and dream of traveling and seeing the world.
That leaves just one potential high schooler in the family, unless we finish their studies early this year. As for me, I’m hoping to pursue a master’s degree in Mexico. I graduated from the University of Wyoming and am excited about continuing my education abroad.
zapembarcodes@reddit
$2200 for a 2br is not bad by US standards.
From my experience, Mexico is cheaper in housing -- but not by much if you're living in a well-established part of town (stable power, Internet). Food is about the same price, with some foods (dairy, wheat, oats) being a lot more expensive in Mexico. I also experienced inflation was higher in Mexico.
Then again my experience comes from Quinta Roo and not northern Mexico.
Careless-Awareness-4@reddit (OP)
Portland-Vancouver-Hillsboro region ranked at No. 8 for most expensive large metro area.
The rising housing costs are definitely a major concern, and it’s tough when wages haven’t kept up. The shortage of affordable rentals is pushing middle-class and struggling families further from city centers, and gentrification only makes things worse. That’s one of the things I’m particularly mindful of when considering Mexico—I really wouldn’t want to be part of the gentrification problem there. I know that’s a concern, and it’s something I wouldn’t feel comfortable contributing to.
Our house has appreciated significantly, now worth $400,000 after buying it for $270,000, but even with that gain, stagnant wages make it feel like we’re not really ahead. To make a move work, I think we’d need to visit several times to get a true feel for the area, and ideally, we’d want to settle outside the city center, where we can find a balance without causing displacement.
The world is becoming more expensive, and while we can’t escape that, I feel like we might still be able to find a slower paced, more sustainable way of living. Maybe I looking at this through rose colored glasses
im-here-for-tacos@reddit
I wrote up a post about my five years of living in Mexico recently: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmerExit/comments/1fm813x/four_years_in_mexico_an_overlysimplified/
I did not move with kids though, so I'm unsure if there are questions or concerns that I can address that would be relevant to my experience.
Careless-Awareness-4@reddit (OP)
Wow, that was a fantastic read—thank you for sharing! I really appreciate the tip about it being a dog-friendly country, and I’m happy with hard floors. We tore all the carpets out of our house too and replaced them with hard flooring. It’s so much easier to keep clean!
It’s such a shame that remote jobs are becoming harder to find, especially when relocating is key to not being suffocated by bills—even when you have a well-paying job and budget carefully every day.
I’ll definitely keep your post in mind if I have any specific questions. I truly appreciate you sharing your experience with me!
HVP2019@reddit
Why would you think migration to Mexico would be impossible? Sure it is possible.
You already looked into visas so you know that your adult kids will have to go through process separately, but as long as everyone follows all immigration steps everyone should be able to obtain legal status in Mexico
On another hand the possibility of achieving better quality of life in Mexico not so certain. Sure it is possible but it is also possible to live well in US…
Living as an immigrant in foreign country tends to be harder logistically, emotionally, culturally compered to living as a long time resident of your native country.
So you have to be in unique circumstances to be able to live better as an immigrant abroad.
You hope to be able to achieve better living by keeping US wages while living in a cheap country. If this would be so easy all 300 Americans would be doing this.
In reality those who actually were successful were mostly Mexican-Americans who due to their background are intimately familiar with both countries, who already know language, who are already part of a culture, who already have network of local friends and family.
All those things greatly increase their chances of being successful in figuring out how to keep working American jobs while living in Mexico.
( I am an immigrant in US)
Careless-Awareness-4@reddit (OP)
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind and supportive words. It’s great that I already have friends in the area, and one of my best friends frequently visits their family around the same spot. I feel confident that I can make this move happen, but I was hoping to get some perspective from those who have actually done it and might have advice beyond what I’ve been able to find in books.
I'd love to have your insight as a person who lived in Mexico and might share more about successfully and respectfully becoming a resident family there.
I'm also very interested in hearing your experiences and perspectives as an immigrant to the U.S.
Thanks again for your encouragement!
HVP2019@reddit
So you already know what area you are planning to move, how safe it is and how doable it is to commute.
I am an immigrant in USA but I never stated that I am an from Mexico. I know about living in country that in many ways similar to Mexico but since you already have friends in Mexico my information is less relevant.
Careless-Awareness-4@reddit (OP)
Oh sorry about that I thought you were from Mexico. If it's polite to ask where did you immigrate from? I don't think anyone's information is less relevant. Everyone will have a different experience and that experience is very invaluable.
chefkoch_@reddit
There is a reason mexicans come to the US to work for less than minimum wage.
Careless-Awareness-4@reddit (OP)
I understand why so many people choose to live in Mexico and commute to work in the U.S. The current exchange rate makes a difference for these families. It allows them to stretch their income further and support their families.
We have family friends who live in Otay Mesa and commute, and they say it’s much more affordable than the Pacific Northwest. They also mention it’s a safe area, as long as you’re mindful of which places to avoid—just like any city. The suggest the balance of affordability, safety, and convenience, especially if we are looking to commute regularly. It is more touristy than we would like.
Draconianfirst@reddit
Actually you are in sa ne if you di that
Careless-Awareness-4@reddit (OP)
I wish someone would clarify why it's insane, is it because I'm not wealthy? It's not very helpful to say oh that's insane but not to offer a reason to why it's insane.
Draconianfirst@reddit
One of the most dangerous and un sa fe countries around the world. And close to the border is worst. You will regret any minute if you decide to do that
Careless-Awareness-4@reddit (OP)
I read that 30 to 50 miles away from the border is much safer depending on where you live. Do you live in Mexico?
YadiAre@reddit
Public schools are less then ideal. I'd make sure to budget for private international schools, which are not cheap.
Careless-Awareness-4@reddit (OP)
Our kids are home schooled. One has graduated, one will graduate this year, and one has one year left.
chefkoch_@reddit
They homeschool and want their kids to get to know the culture.