I just had an employee tell me that their personal energy ruins electronics.

Posted by WWGHIAFTC@reddit | sysadmin | View on Reddit | 1017 comments

And that she needs a Mac instead of a PC because they are more durable against her personal energy and PCs always break around her. It runs in her family I'm told. She can't wear watches because they stop working. Everything glitches out around her when she's angry or stressed she says. I checked our inventory records and she's been using the same PC/Monitors and printer for over 5 years without issue. I find it sad because to her, it's real. No matter what anyone else can research, prove, or demonstrate. To her it is as real as anything. It took all I had to stay polite, sometimes I can't even with people anymore.

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1017 Comments

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Shacko117@reddit

My mates radio stops working when I walk passed it momentarily 😂🤷

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geekosaur@reddit

Not that I'm going to demand a Mac (ugh), but I used to destroy mechanical watches. Really. Wear one for a day, it stopped working until I let it sit for a week. Eventually it wouldn't recover even then. Electronic watches couldn't come too soon. (Touchscreens hate me too. Something about my skin capacitance, maybe?)

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lordcochise@reddit

No way to actually prove it, but I DID know a dude that had this kind of thing in college. He legit had many laptops and other electronics fail in unexplainable ways. He'd have brand new laptops that fried themselves in a matter of days through no observable fault. We figured he must have had some bizarre static electricity thing going on due to stuff like specific clothing choices etc. but no explanation ever came.

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shiggy__diggy@reddit

I had a weird issue like this but with Windows specifically. Every major update I'd need to reformat fresh because the updates would completely break it, this is going all the way from Win7 to 10 (and happened a lot in 10). As a sysadmin I was baffled and seriously doubting myself as to what was happening, drove me insane I couldn't figure it out. After many hours with M$ support, one agent somehow figured out it was an issue with my account itself (because I used the same Microsoft account for all of those installs through the years). Sure enough they fixed my account on their side and I was fine after that on every update.

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dreadpiratejaymo@reddit

As one of the only people here not posting that the boogie man exists, your post gets a vote up.

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WWGHIAFTC@reddit (OP)

You explained it very easily, and that's most likely what it was. He wore clothing, shoes, or had an office chair, or desk that created large potential differences. I destroyed 3 brand new PCs in a row one day in the 90s after prepping them. They would not turn on after I carried them to the users desk. Ended up being my shoes on the office carpet, and my hands touching a port when I plugged in the cables.

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BuyMyIdeas@reddit

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PhiberOptikz@reddit

I had a staff member with a laptop come to me about her laptop shutting down randomly while she was working. It seemed inconsistent, and we had trouble replicating it. Also never happened when plugged into her docking station. It turned out to be her FitBit. Every time she went to hit the backspace key or use the numpad on the built in keyboard, the magnet from her FitBit triggered the shutdown. 15 yrs as an IT professional, and that was the first time I'd run into a watch shutting off a laptop.

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psychopompadour@reddit

I love stories of super weird technical issues like this! Like that well-known one where the user's wifi would go out every time he flushed the toilet? There's some crazy stuff in the world.

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OzymandiasKoK@reddit

We used to have certain models of HP laptops that would die if you transmitted on a radio within a foot or so of it. Had to unplug them and remove the battery to get them to power back on.

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gadgetboyj@reddit

I experienced this one firsthand, used to have the Milanese band for my Apple Watch and it uses a magnet for closure that sat right at the bottom of my wrist. Took me ages to figure out why my new work laptop would just randomly go to sleep, but only while I was out in the field (wasn’t wearing the watch at home), and only while I was in the middle of typing something. Eventually I found I could reverse it by just waving the magnet over the right spot on the laptop a second time and it would wake back up immediately. Was annoying enough to make me change to different type of band with a mechanical closure.

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whatever462672@reddit

I had that with a user who leaned their iPhone against his laptop. The charging magnet triggered the lid sensor.

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WigginIII@reddit

Similar thing I saw a few years back. User claimed whenever they used the trackpad their laptop would shut off but not when they used a usb mouse. After some thought and Google, I told her to remove any bracelets she may have been wearing. Sure enough, she was wearing a bracelet that was magnetic and it was catching on the front of the laptop which triggered it thinking the lid was closed and set the laptop to sleep.

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AutoMativeX@reddit

I had the same issue walk in the door while I was still working at a tech repair shop back in the day. We had a customer's laptop for the day so we tested all of the hardware/software and found no faults. The customer returned it a week later and that's when we finally realized what was going on. They described in detail what they were doing when it happened again, so we had them try to replicate it for us in the store. They did, and we discovered that their iWatch was tripping the lid magnet/sensor, which then triggered sleep/hibernate mode. It was annoying because they always had to close and reopen the lid to get it to turn back on. I laughed to myself picturing some poor frustrated soul having to deal with that every 15 keystrokes while trying to work -- I'd lose it! 😆

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labdweller@reddit

It’s a good job she doesn’t have to store data on floppy disks.

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TheGlennDavid@reddit

>I also have known people that are just HARD on their stuff. Press everything hard, slam, leave a running laptop on a blanket (overheats fast!), cables always getting yanked sideways, something always splashing or spilling, on and on. My wife has 5 year old phones, laptops, ipads, and *charger cables* that look like they came out of the box yesterday. I am a bumbling troglodyte with mildly corrosive skin. Everything I come into contact ends up looking like it's a an item in Fallout.

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YukaTLG@reddit

Where did you find such a woman? My wife destroys phone charging cables in 72 hours on average. I buy them in bulk.

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brrrchill@reddit

Yea, charger cords have very short lifespan around here. I buy her new ones every couple weeks and it's hands off on mine. I have one that's 13 yrs old

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narcissisadmin@reddit

Holy shit. I'm not the only one.

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TommyV8008@reddit

Your situation sounds like mine. I’m always trying to take care of cables and my wife is pretty rough on equipment. So yeah, I just have to buy more of them. And better quality that lasts a little bit longer.

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worthing0101@reddit

I know people hate big bulky cases like Otterbox Defenders but they tend to work. My old CIO once called me out for having one on my phone because they were so ugly. I replied that he had broken 3 iPhones so far just that year and my phone was over 2 years old and was in pristine condition. He conceded my point but still refused to use a case.

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R3D3-1@reddit

My mother has a Galaxy A5. The 2017 model. Only recently it started showing some issues, most of its lifetime she'd charge it only once a week. I feel like there is some hidden connection between her and your wife.

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Sarin10@reddit

I would like to dissect you.

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lutiana@reddit

For the case we had here w/ a student (see my response above) we ruled out static discharge by having her just stand next to the computer and not touch it at all. It was incredible to see it happen, and it was consistent. I think we narrowed it down to about 2 or 3 feet before the issue stopped happening.

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mercurygreen@reddit

Uh, electrons don't need direct contact to flow. There are really cool physics demonstrations where it's not actual static discharge that causes stuff to happen.

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lutiana@reddit

Yes, I know. But at the break down voltages needed for static to jump the distances we saw with this kid, there would have been a very visible arc and audible crack, akin to lighting. In our situation there was none of that, the system would just silently fail, first dropping off of the Wifi, then odd glitches, usually followed by an OS crash.

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Andrew_Waltfeld@reddit

Did you consider magnetics?

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lutiana@reddit

We did. Obviously we could not control for everything the student was wearing, but we did get her to remove everything she could (jewelry, etc). That said, I am willing to bet that this had something to do with EMI that her body was emitting. It's the only thing that makes sense to me, though without some sort of hefty research grant to buy some pretty expensive detections tools, this would be hard to confirm.

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mercurygreen@reddit

Okay. They're haunted.

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WheredMyMindGo@reddit

I think you mean blessed

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Dismal-Scene7138@reddit

> He wore clothing, shoes, or had an office chair, or desk that created large potential differences. So, like, his personal energy?

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lordcochise@reddit

See I wish we had actually found anything like that to explain it, but there was NOTHING.

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MirCola@reddit

We had a similar thing with static electricity. Every time in finance some stood up from their chair, the monitors on the other side went off for 1-2 seconds.

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Lylieth@reddit

> I destroyed 3 brand new PCs in a row one day in the 90s after prepping them. They would not turn on after I carried them to the users desk. I've built probably 10k computers. Touched at least 100k. And still have not seen this occur, lol.

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labdweller@reddit

> I also have known people that are just HARD on their stuff. Had one colleague whose laptop failed at least twice as frequently as others and complained about overheating with each laptop he got. When I eventually got round to opening them up the insides were full of food crumbs.

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PCRefurbrAbq@reddit

I had a piano teacher with a magnetic personality. She could only wear analog watches, and computer disks she touched wouldn't work. At least, that's what she told me.

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th3n3w3ston3@reddit

I had a boss who would go through a keyboard every few months until I got him a mechanical keyboard.

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lordcochise@reddit

Yeah there certainly are a few older users in the office who punch their keyboards like they're owed money

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JudgeCastle@reddit

My old office building had carpet that made med conductive with the dress socks I used to wear. I started wearing different socks and I had no more issues. Went from those black Hanes style socks to white cotton ones. Silly remedy but I got tired of being randomly shocked when touching things.

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1Autotech@reddit

There is a teacher at my local high school that has all kinds of problems with electronics. Computers, phones, TVs, doesn't matter. None of them with properly for him. He wasn't always like that. Everything started going crazy for him after he got struck by lightning.

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Winterfell1027@reddit

There was a movie in the 90s called "Powder" about this exact situation LMAO 🤣

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lutiana@reddit

Had a student (elementary school) that this happened to. She'd get near the Chromebooks and they'd drop the wifi and crash within a minute or two. Teacher turned it into a pretty fun classroom lesson on the scientific method (yep, they literally experimented on her, much to her delight). The teacher turned something that would otherwise be frustrating and maybe embarrassing for this kid into a rallying point for the entire class and make the kid feel special rather than weird or singled out, it was a brilliant move on the teachers part. Our site tech spent months on this, verified it through some tests, and tried some workarounds. It was a bizarre issue to have to work through, and I am not sure we ever came up with a resolution. Obviously this OP's user is full of shit on this one, but I can say that there are some people out there who just disrupt tech with their mere presence.

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Sure_Acadia_8808@reddit

Yeah, it's rare, but real! It's rare tho. I've run into two people in a 30-year career who did this to electronics. Fun fact tho, Macs are not in any way less susceptible. Now, this user may be trying to get a free Mac from the company (not realizing that it'll be MDM'd and she probably won't be able to sign into her iCloud and watch movies all day anyway). But she may also honestly believe that a Mac is more stable because Macs don't exhibit their glitches in the UI the way Windows does. Macs glitch quietly and spin that beachball, so users think they're not experiencing any errors. PC's will complain in flames all the way down, but a Mac will silently suffer until the whole thing fails at once. Modern MacOS is a mess under the hood (that log output is a spectacle) but users tend to think it's rock-solid.

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narcissisadmin@reddit

> Macs glitch quietly and spin that beachball I'd completely forgotten about the beachball. I used to dick with Hackintosh stuff for fun and every time I saw the spinning ball I knew it was time for a forced restart.

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Sure_Acadia_8808@reddit

On a healthy system, we shouldn't be seeing that beachball, like ever. I really want to know why the ARM Macs seem to do it constantly, even while supposedly under light load and with 32GB RAM going mostly unused!

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HappierShibe@reddit

This is a more common thing than people realize, generally experienced by survivors of lightning strikes, or other severe electrical shocks. They have to wear mechanical rather than electronic watches, and tend to dramatically reduce the lifespan of electronics they use regularly. They have a support group @ https://www.lightning-strike.org/ pinging /u/5erif and /u/Sure_Acadia_8808

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Uninterested_Viewer@reddit

Is there *actual* scientific research to back this up? Seems like something the scientific community would be *very* interested in.

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Nowaker@reddit

That's sick. My personal best involved DDR-2. Every time I would do anything with these memory sticks, the computer would fail the POST for many hours. The good ol' tip to touch grounded metal just didn't work. Eventually, I had to have my cousin handle my memory sticks for me. That worked.

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narcissisadmin@reddit

I had the exact same issue. It went away once I stopped trying to hot swap the RAM. /s

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5erif@reddit

I wonder if we worked in the same school district, because I encountered the same thing, including the experimenting. WV, around 2015? The mom said she's tried to give multiple phones to daughter, but they all died. There was a lot of discussion about how to let her take the annual standardized test, because all other students were taking it electronically, mostly by iPad.

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lutiana@reddit

Nah, this was in a different state about 2 or 3 years ago.

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5erif@reddit

Wild that there have been multiple cases like this, and when it happens over an extended period, it's not just the outfit of the day being all wool. Maybe chronically dry skin or hair? Obviously not auras or magic, but no explanation feels like the right one. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't witnessed it.

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jaymzx0@reddit

You could be on to something with the clothing. I know my machine will occasionally spontaneously reboot if I accidentally drop a static charge into the Yubikey. I make sure to touch the chassis with the other fingers before touching the key.

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lordcochise@reddit

Eventually we ruled out basically everything else, I DID go to his room and actually try to find anything that could explain static charge to no satisfactory avail; we concluded he just had some heightened electrical / magnetic activity naturally somehow.

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my_name_isnt_clever@reddit

> but I can say that there are some people out there who just disrupt tech with their mere presence. No there are not. There are no possible means for this to happen to tech from a human's body. There is some other reason that you all missed.

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LordOfCows@reddit

Yeah, she was obviously a witch.

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redit3rd@reddit

He probably worked with his laptop on his bed, the blanket covert the ventilation and he overheated them.

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lordcochise@reddit

No, his issues were all electrical, and he used his laptops normally on a wooden desk

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getoutofthecity@reddit

Yeah I lowkey believe some people have something going on that causes tech problems. There was a specific partner at the firm who always had the most bizarre problems with laptops, phones, tablets. Both in the office and at home. We were constantly troubleshooting something.

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Stonewalled9999@reddit

we had a user that we found dried white stuff which shorted out the electronics. Told him to "self love" on his home PC not company equipment

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PrinceOfFucking@reddit

Why on earth would he do it on/in the company PC?

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Stonewalled9999@reddit

the internet at work and the PC were faster than his home internet. This was the same dude that we had to "open up internet access" as we have massage parlors and casinos as customers (which was true we did sell stuff to those places)

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hume_reddit@reddit

As a university tech, we've had people - *plural* - get caught "banging their wrench" at workstations in the *public* labs. There'd be investigations. There'd be *odours*. There's a lot of people out there who basically have no functional signal between the actions and consequences portions of their brains.

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automaton11@reddit

Are you saying

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ColXanders@reddit

Yes, yes, unfortunately I think so.

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vhalember@reddit

Same here. We had an employee go through four laptops in three years... they'd just short-out, no water damage. Similar things happened with other electronics to her occasionally. Was very strange.

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Seicair@reddit

[Relevant XKCD](https://xkcd.com/2083/) [Relevant XKCD II](https://xkcd.com/1586/) [Relevant XKCD the Third](https://xkcd.com/1084/) [Relevant XKCD with a vengeance](https://xkcd.com/1316/)

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lordcochise@reddit

Yup, the guy in question was definitely a mix of 1 and 4; the electrically-related issues / component burnouts we could understand to a degree, but there absolutely WERE a few times where stuff just didn't work with zero explanation. It was also other personal electronics that were occasionally affected.

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Ur-Best-Friend@reddit

Funny thing about that, I'm in a somewhat similar situation. For some reason, my body just seems to produce more static electricity than average, to the point that I usually get a static shock easily 15-20 times per day. That's not all *that* uncommon, it's usually caused by wearing specific types of fabric, shoes, or even using a chair coated in a particular material. However, I basically only wear cotton - jeans, T-shirts, hoodies - which doesn't cause static electricity buildup, and this happens no matter what chair or shoes I use. To this day I have no idea what's causing it. It's not bad enough to cause issues with electronics (and I don't know if that's even possible), which is lucky since I work in IT. That said, I've known a number of people who've had all sorts of very unusual (read=made up) problems. My favorite was a coworker who couldn't work within 5m of a router, because it would cause him terrible headaches whenever it was raining outside. Oddly enough when my boss at the time "turned the router off" (he did no such thing), his issues stopped immediately!

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pezgoon@reddit

Haunted

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Technical_Goose_8160@reddit

Could have saved himself so much money with dryer sheets... College kids...

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OmenVi@reddit

Knew a guy who could only wear winding watches. No batteries. No lcd’s. They’d either not keep time or flat out not work.

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moufette1@reddit

A friend of mine killed watches. She just couldn't wear one.

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kevinsyel@reddit

I can't wear watches cuz they all die on me within a month, no explanation as to why. I just stopped buying watches cuz it wasn't worth the money

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frac6969@reddit

Same here. I have a friend who destroys electronics. I was at her house and she demonstrated by having flames come out from her hair dryer. It worked fine when I held it though.

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say592@reddit

My wife is the same way! Over the years I have narrowed it down to two phenomenon. First, she is much more prone to static than anyone I have ever met. It doesn't matter what she is wearing, she is just more prone to it. I think this is the primary cause. Second, she conducts electricity differently (better, I think?) than other people. We had a laptop power supply that would sometimes trickle just a little bit of voltage on a warn spot on the cable. If it was touching her, there was like this weird texture on her skin. If it was touching me, nothing.

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Impossible_IT@reddit

Back in mid to late 90s I zapped like 3 desktop computers from static. And I even had a static mat but still zapped them. Had a coworker a few years ago that would zap electronics, laptops, cell phones etc. He said he'd been truck by lightning twice in the past.

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0pointenergy@reddit

Yeah, my mom and brother are like this. They can’t wear electronics they just die. I have seen my brother walk into the room and the lights go out, multiple times,multiple buildings, never having touched anything but the doors. He has ruined my original Xbox, and Bluetooth connections from his phone in his pocket randomly get disconnected from speakers. It’s nuts and weird.

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Enough_Brilliant9598@reddit

I’ve put ESD mats on some personnel’s desks before and it stopped all of the nonsense with them and their dehydrated bodies. Also some people are more prone to the static electricity so this helped with them too.

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shadow_kittencorn@reddit

I was asked to stand away from the physics projects at school. I never got the right results and when the teacher tried to demonstrate, he couldn’t get the right results near me either (can’t remember the details as it was 10+ years ago, but things like measuring falling speed etc). I don’t believe I can actually break the laws of physics, but I also can’t explain it. Luckily, computers like me and I can fix user issues my standing behind them.

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Usual_Ice636@reddit

It would be fun to have those people wear something like this [https://www.amazon.com/iFixit-Anti-static-Wrist-Strap-Adjustable/dp/B00B2T9C8Y/](https://www.amazon.com/iFixit-Anti-static-Wrist-Strap-Adjustable/dp/B00B2T9C8Y/) and see if that fixes it.

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Superb_Raccoon@reddit

Or a tinfoil hat... either will dissipate the static.

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severach@reddit

Or touch the case when it's plugged in before touching anything else.

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mercurygreen@reddit

I've considered hooking up one to a copper bar on my coworkers desk. (I've also given those out as gag gifts.)

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lutiana@reddit

With the case we had at work, we tried this. It did not seem to make any difference.

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Helpful-Jellyfish565@reddit

I have first hand experience in the best way to get a new computer approved or fix a persistent problem is backup your data, undue some of the screws, and accidentally and repeatedly let the computer fall on the ground a few feet away from me. Just have to let it land on some padding so it doesnt crack the outside and dont let it fall asleep with the lid closed.

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Cercle@reddit

This happens to me too, one of the reasons I started working in this field. Personal record is an MRI machine

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cool_boy_mew@reddit

I have heard stories from a past manager that they actually encountered people that legitimately had this problem with electronics. Wasn't the clothes or anything and the guy wasn't a known liar either The one thing I had a hard time swallowing however is that at the mobile company, ISP, etc. or something like this that he worked at, there was apparently a department that not only knew about that, but apparently gave the client a special phone that's resistant to this

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Fredd500@reddit

I have blue screened a computer with the combination of a wool jumper and really well insulating pair of Crocks. It did recover but I genuinely static electricity sparked it into a spasm.

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lordcochise@reddit

There was a different guy i was helping build a PC a few decades back, gave him pointers, left him to order parts and build. He called and asked for troubleshooting a few days later, (1) ram was stuck in slots at a laughable angle (he didn't realize they needed to go in flat) but far WORSE was he had laid all his components out on a WOOL BLANKET for a period of DAYS. didn't even occur to him that static was even a thing even AFTER being told initially to do his build on a TABLE

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kingocat@reddit

Literally one time, co-worker did some previous work at a telco, and had a house call to check up on an elderly lady who was saying she was hearing her toaster speak to her. Well he went out, and found out the power company didnt ground properly and was somehow causing the metal in the toaster to pick up radio stations...

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Tymanthius@reddit

Such ppl exist. I've known a couple who watches just die. they have weird shit happen w/ their phones. PC's just act funky. 'personal energy' is as good an excuse as any.

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BuyMyIdeas@reddit

Tymanthius, I think that is a very intelligent sounding name. Would you like to buy this booklet by giving me a Platinum Award? The Platinum Award can be given to me at: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1fr1s7m/comment/lp9p062/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1fr1s7m/comment/lp9p062/?context=3) https://preview.redd.it/h1gkamifckrd1.png?width=210&format=png&auto=webp&s=233229e6c6301d12b0fdd831f558a1abf8ab8430 This booklet could help a lot of big systemic problems in the US. I thank you so much for paying attention to this and I thank you a lot for the bright insight and acknowledging this comment.

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doctorevil30564@reddit

Prepare for this particular employee to run it up the chain of command trying to get someone to approve the purchase of a Mac for her to use. If they manage it lock it down tight so it's not an enjoyable experience, can't install apps, can't change any settings that require Administrative or SUDO permissions, make sure iTunes isn't installed, nothing to make it even remotely a personal computer even nominally.

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apandaze@reddit

100%, work laptop means work. Especially if you're deviating from the norm & ticking IT off with your aurora

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BuyMyIdeas@reddit

Wow! You are the second talking panda I have met today! I guess miracles can happen twice. Would you like to buy this booklet by giving me a Platinum Award? The Platinum Award can be given to me at: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1fr1s7m/comment/lp9p062/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1fr1s7m/comment/lp9p062/?context=3) https://preview.redd.it/updz40m8ckrd1.png?width=210&format=png&auto=webp&s=f2863f8dfbe17519a8709a7566d8abb52db224a8 This booklet could help a lot of big systemic problems in the US. I thank you so much for paying attention to this and I thank you a lot for the bright insight and acknowledging this comment.

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WWGHIAFTC@reddit (OP)

Exactly. If I have to get her one, it's going into hexnode fully locked down like a PC equivalent. No Apps, No root/admin, nothing. I'm not anti-mac, but we're simple not set up for mac, and don't have plans to be. (I'm IT manager, I can push against this pretty hard if needed, she's a dept manger also though)

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TerrificGeek90@reddit

Sounds like you’re pretty anti Mac and don’t know how to properly manage them. What good reason do you have for not “being set up for them”?

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sync-centre@reddit

Could be a strictly windows shop with no management tools for mac currently.

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fluffman86@reddit

Hang on let me just buy JAMF and set it up for a single user...

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TerrificGeek90@reddit

Buy an Intune license. Zero excuse to not allow Macs in 2024. We offer our users whatever they know best and are platform agnostic. I run into IT people all the time who have some weird thing against Macs though, it's cringy.

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robbzilla@reddit

Intune on Mac suuuucks. Source: My last job included me managing Macs on Intune.

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TerrificGeek90@reddit

It’s in constant development. It’s pretty comprehensive now and supports platform SSO.

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fluffman86@reddit

Nothing against them personally, but intune by itself doesn't give enough control in an industry that still requires password changes and other requirements. You need JAMF for that and that's additional cost. Also, we run software that only runs on windows. There's no Mac version.

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Superb_Raccoon@reddit

Load windows on it...

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ZOMBOY@reddit

I would go the malicious compliance route and get her a Mac (if I was forced to) and just install/virtualize Windows on it lol

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aboyandhismsp@reddit

Make the Mac desktop look like a pc desktop enough that she believes the pc being replaced has taken over the mac. Have some fun with this. I’m somewhat jealous this has never happened to us.

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QuerulousPanda@reddit

I bet she's one of those people who triple or quad clicks on every button and link on every application and website, and also drags the mouse at the same time as she does it, just to maximize the unpredictability and lag in every scenario.

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BuyMyIdeas@reddit

A panda that can talk! That is epic! You must be really smart for even knowing what the word Querulous means! Would you like to buy this booklet by giving me a Platinum Award? The Platinum Award can be given to me at: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1fr1s7m/comment/lp9p062/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1fr1s7m/comment/lp9p062/?context=3) https://preview.redd.it/cw5kpf71ckrd1.png?width=210&format=png&auto=webp&s=444069bffda24f29bb5ed6a6f506be46c73cfdf4 This booklet could help a lot of big systemic problems in the US. I thank you so much for paying attention to this and I thank you a lot for the bright insight and acknowledging this comment.

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narcissisadmin@reddit

Two jobs ago I was at a *large* company where the lead firewall engineer did that exact shit. He'd also use "slash" and "backslash" interchangeably.

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vialentvia@reddit

This is actually a legitimate thing, though I've only experienced it with children. I believe it is chemical imbalances in the body that does something. Maybe magnetic, maybe electric. So, my K-12 story involves young girls, around 10-12, who have just entered puberty. It has been witnessed by teachers, principals, and my IT directors. None of us would have believed it otherwise. We have a 1:1 iPad program. During the state testing, i had a student whose iPad would erase all the apps and change the language. This occurred with two subsequent iPads all the same. Two Lenovo laptops shut off while plugged in when we tried her on those. A PC in the lab lost ethernet when she got logged in. Our solution was to place the iPad in a plastic bin and give her a stylus. Otherwise, a teacher would have had to accommodate her by inputting her answers. We noticed that whenever she would place her palm (at the junction of thumb, wrist, and palm) on or near the device, palmrest, or keyboard, it affected the device. I read up on a white paper called Street Light Interference, or SLI, they call them SLIders. It's some energy coming from the palm like some kinda super hero that breaks IT.

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BuyMyIdeas@reddit

Very interesting story! Would you like to buy this booklet by giving me a Platinum Award? The Platinum Award can be given to me at: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1fr1s7m/comment/lp9p062/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1fr1s7m/comment/lp9p062/?context=3) https://preview.redd.it/kiu6hjelbkrd1.png?width=210&format=png&auto=webp&s=e6ababb584610f9c15fc3cefec40b440e4ea8947 This booklet could help a lot of big systemic problems in the US. I thank you so much for paying attention to this and I thank you a lot for the bright insight and acknowledging this comment.

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anothermsp@reddit

I had an end user tell me that anytime she was photographed, whether the camera was physical or digital, there would be a ball of light in the photo - she called it an “orb” She then proceeded to flip through her photos to show me one, and “accidentally” flipped past a nearly nude photo that I think she just wanted me to see - was she coming into me in the weirdest way possible? To this day I will never know.

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Perfect-Campaign9551@reddit

If you don't believe in the machine gods then I'm not sure how good of a sysadmin you really are

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Eleven_point_five@reddit

My grandfather was a water dowser. You know, stick shaped like a y that would dip when there was water. He couldn’t wear watches that were wind up types. They would get magnetized and stop working. Electronic watches were great for him as they wouldn’t freeze up. When I finally started wearing watches he didn’t tell me it was an issue. So I went and bought an expensive wind up watch. It froze up after a day. I’d wind it and it didn’t need winding. I’d reset the time and nothing. I took it back and got a replacement three times. After the third failure they gave me my money back and didn’t let me run another timepiece. I brought it up at a family dinner and Grandpa says “Our family can’t wear wind up watches due to our ability to dowse for water.” Well nice thing he told me that after the fact. So, not really related, but you are just a giant electrochemical sack of water moving around. Perhaps some leak a bit more electrical than others?

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LiberContrarion@reddit

What if I told you the printers fear me and start working the moment I arrive?

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minimaximal-gaming@reddit

This is the other way around and completly normal, and the definitly real aura energy of a sysadmin

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bloodguard@reddit

People believe. There's a yardstick hanging near the door of a very large government data center with a lock of my hair taped to it that they snipped off me on my last day. Years later they still hit recalcitrant equipment with it and swear it works.

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Fantastic_Estate_303@reddit

You are the chosen one, the glitch in the matrix, the saviour of tech

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Suspicious_Yak4488@reddit

Kwisatz Haderach…

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Thiccpharm@reddit

sys ad min

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JasonDJ@reddit

Fus ro dah

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Thiccpharm@reddit

Thats just Do Re Me in dragonese

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Creative-Dust5701@reddit

The voice from the outer world…

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DukkhaWaynhim@reddit

The ersatx serverack

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mgerics@reddit

Muad'Dib

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ScannerBrightly@reddit

Bob from IT.

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CodyTheLearner@reddit

I read that as the savior of teeth and was concerned

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TheRetromancer@reddit

Big tech energy

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TwoDeuces@reddit

Queue the Princes of the Universe theme music.

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Dreamshadow1977@reddit

In one of the primary racks of our data center sits a push button analog phone, not plugged in. Every time I have moved it to storage in prep to dispose of it, the DC has suffered an outage (failure of a core switch, power failure, etc). I just leave it where it is now.

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AlexisFR@reddit

Sounds like an Altered Item, please be careful and contact the authorities!

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Creative-Dust5701@reddit

The team from Warehouse 13 will be by to collect the ‘artifact’ any time now

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Dreamshadow1977@reddit

I'm sure The Oldest House is already monitoring it. I wonder if The Board will call.

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Dekklin@reddit

Someone should write a story about it... (IYKYK)

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reshpect-o-biggle@reddit

Hooray for you for using that glorious word, "recalcitrant."

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psychopompadour@reddit

Came here to post this, lol

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taozentaiji@reddit

It is a fantastic word and isn't used nearly enough.

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learnitallboss@reddit

I had a LTC in the Army convinced that I was messing with her because her printer only worked when I came to check on it after she called in a ticket. No idea what was going on there.

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Cynyr@reddit

A canonized saint of the Omnissiah. In years to come, the Mechanicus will divide out your hair for newly founded forge worlds.

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GeneralKang@reddit

"From the moment I observed the weakness of my flesh..."

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thequeefcannon@reddit

Praise be! The Emperor smiles upon him!

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Appropriate_Ant_4629@reddit

> People believe. And sometimes there are real reasons. Perhaps the wiring in her house is defective and cheaper power supplies burn out when she works from home.

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salpula@reddit

Yeah, bad grounding will do this. So many fried electronics in that shit building.

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Slivvys@reddit

As he gets cloned and government data centers are staffed exclusively from those clones to ensure continuous operation.

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occamismyfather@reddit

I hope you charge them a monthly retainer for the hair hammer :)

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gramathy@reddit

You should demand a commission every time they use it

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Tasty-Objective676@reddit

Someone called for me?

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mynameisnotalex1900@reddit

True, a sysadmin aura. Whenever I check the issue it fixes itself.

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lukasnmd@reddit

My wife always call me and shit start to behave as it should... Guess I'm bad enough for someone out there because I never had to call to support. My phone isn't working, I enter the room and little prick lights up. Some random page button isn't working... I get up from my chair, animation for loading page starts... Always the same... As soon as I arrive or get up stuff starts to happen... Sometimes I wish it doesn't so I can take the dust out of my sledgehammer. I wonder where it is, so many years have passed that I have forgotten it's whereabouts...

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Mountain-eagle-xray@reddit

I do a thing when I'm waiting for some one, food, doctor, whatever. I'm usually never on my phone, but when I'm waiting and I've waited enough, I'll pull my phone out and in 30 seconds the person shows up to interrupt my chess game. It's why my elo is shit on chess.com trading elo back to the universe to shorten my waits it's worth it tbh.

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Vacendak1@reddit

I tell people I'm like the dog whisper for computer things. They start behaving just because I'm around.

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FrogManScoop@reddit

In 2D chess, a seeming imbecile. In 4D chess, an unquestionable master.

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lukasnmd@reddit

This! Omg!! I haven't noticed before, if i start any, i mean ANY, game online my wife appears to ask something...

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dawho1@reddit

Exactly. SkyNet and I have an understanding.

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Fantastic_Estate_303@reddit

Oh, it's working now you're here! ...breaks once you leave and you get called back. FFS!

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UptimeNull@reddit

I always ask a manager for deadlines set in the last week/month. Its remarkable how many times its the worker not producing and blaming in it on IT.

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Fantastic_Estate_303@reddit

Hi end user, have you restarted your machine? YES! MANY TIMES Uptime: 678 days, 4 hours, 37 mins

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Fantastic_Estate_303@reddit

Hi end user, have you restarted your machine? YES! MANY TIMES Uptime: 678 days, 4 hours, 37 mins

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Fantastic_Estate_303@reddit

I still prefer to think it's my superpower

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UptimeNull@reddit

Fair nuff!

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_Aaronstotle@reddit

This is how I know it works, the printer will behave when I come around

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logosolos@reddit

I tell my users that it’s the magnet I keep in my pocket

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Absolute_Peril@reddit

My electrical dominance has computers working in fear of me.

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LiberContrarion@reddit

We fight entropy.

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Superb_Raccoon@reddit

We just transfer it elsewhere.... somewhere a plate spontaneously breaks or the handle falls of a coffee mug.

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JohnGillnitz@reddit

The law of conservation of breaking shit.

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mercurygreen@reddit

SysAdmins - we cause socks to be lost!

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zeduki@reddit

So that's why my favorite IT crowd mug broke

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RancidYogurt@reddit

#facts

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EmptyM_@reddit

Are… are we Maxwell’s Demon?!?!?

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IcariteMinor@reddit

My wife always laughed when I told her that, then she had a career change to a more technical oriented one and is building her own issue busting aura. Now she knows.

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ming4real@reddit

Same here - I think it is because the equipment _knows_ I am serious when I threaten to throw it off the top of the nearest high rise building and so starts behaving again!

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chase32@reddit

This is an old reference but in my life people say I [Fonz](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALxBs3gfJAY) stuff. Been deep in tech my entire life and I swear that bugs or hardware issues fear me because way too often when people bring me in, it works fine.

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TwoDeuces@reddit

So what you're saying is we are living in a simulation.

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janitroll@reddit

It’s FM

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Surefinewhatever1111@reddit

Look printers are different. They are cursed with a malevolent spirit that has no equal.

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litui@reddit

Got my A+ in the early 2000s. Pretty sure there was a section on exorcising malevolent spirits from printers...

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Jake_Herr77@reddit

I feel gipped, we just got yelled at for holding installation CDs wrong (finger inside the hole).

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Fantastic_Estate_303@reddit

A+ in the naughties was like a book of black magic

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PixelOrange@reddit

... Please don't call them that.

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igloofu@reddit

OMG, if I ever have to think about an IRQ conflict again, so help me, and all whom surrounds.

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dawho1@reddit

DIP switches, Master/Slaves, BNC, NetBEUI, SCSI IDs...the list goes on, it's just that most of us have compartmentalized the 80-90's into "Awesome Music" and "Terrible Computer Shit".

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psychopompadour@reddit

What about the good things, like IRC and flying toasters?

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DaemosDaen@reddit

I hate you so much right now...

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Fantastic_Estate_303@reddit

CRT discharge, dial-up connections that cut off cos someone called you, standing at a fax machine waiting for it to print your message, forgetting to swap backup tapes over, Clippit, Bonzai Buddy and that shit wallpaper of a forest in a frame that looked rubbish in the centre of your desktop, or tiled.

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JohnGillnitz@reddit

Just set the dip switches correctly according to this simple 8 page chart. Duh!

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Nu-Hir@reddit

There was a manual? I preferred to set them through trial and error.

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Fantastic_Estate_303@reddit

Lol. Like when you bought cheap cases and cheap motherboards and none of the speaker, reset or power button cable connectors were labelled either end... 8 random pins... GO!

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-_G__-@reddit

I remember those days with dread, lol. Also, setting up early NIC settings with jumper pins .. egad that was painful.

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RequirementBusiness8@reddit

That was 1/3 of the score! Got mine the summer of 2000. Well from printers and PCs. It was along with all of the IRQ stuff that my brain has placed deep into cold storage. The number of times an issue resolved because I showed up just proves how effective the old school A+ was.

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cajunjoel@reddit

Printers are a diabolical combination of hardware, software, moving parts, heat, and powdered plastic. What could go wrong!

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PCRefurbrAbq@reddit

Don't forget, they use ~~witchcraft~~ magnetism to stick the powdered plastic on the paper before melting it. ("Melting, oh, what a world.")

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DrummerElectronic247@reddit

isn't that electrostatic?

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hedronist@reddit

> magnetism And here I always thought it was static electricity generated by the corona wire/drum.

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PCRefurbrAbq@reddit

You're right, it's a separate form of electromagnetism, one which is more like witchcraft than even magnets.

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bikesandlego@reddit

You forgot to include the demons in your list.

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rjchau@reddit

It's simpler than that. Printers are evil. (Plotters are Satan incarnate.)

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Surefinewhatever1111@reddit

I still have nightmares about plotters. We only have a few and they're far from me.

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StalinsLeftTesticle_@reddit

I am convinced that printers operate on Warhammer 40K rules where you have to please the machine spirit via elaborate rituals (usually involving copious amounts of candles and incense) otherwise they get upset and stop working

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Grrl_geek@reddit

It's only crazy if it doesn't work :-)

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DaemosDaen@reddit

Yours only want candles and incense? Mine keep wanting (and taking) blood. That poor intern.

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Godcry55@reddit

I never understood why the mechanicus wasted valuable wax on all those candles lol.

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DrAculaAlucardMD@reddit

Probably harvested from what couldn't be turned into Corpse Starch.

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Kaligraphic@reddit

Solid ink printers be needing that.

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wrdlbrmft@reddit

I‘ve played a White Wolf Glasswalker Werewolf for sometime. CONTROL COMPLEX MACHINE ftw.

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ourlastchancefortea@reddit

In a few centuries, humanity will have a breakthrough and realize printers are directly linked to the warp. Enabling us to conquer the galaxy. Or so we foolishly assume.

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gramathy@reddit

We know, they're made by HP even actual demons aren't that spiteful

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One_Economist_3761@reddit

The curse of PC LOAD LETTER

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SilentLennie@reddit

This is why we have a paperless office.

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MaximumGrip@reddit

Its the malevolent spirit of the forests cut down to make paper and print stupid stuff on.

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microcandella@reddit

It never was ink. It's blood. From Something Else.

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Fantastic_Estate_303@reddit

Threaten them with a bucket of holy water

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andpassword@reddit

I think it might be argued that /u/tuxedo_jack is the [equal of most any printer](https://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/comments/1ff0w3/110v_can_be_pretty_amusing_or_how_to_tame_your/).

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RememberCitadel@reddit

Which know I have zero qualms about destroying them if they cause issues. They always work around me because if they don't, we will find one that will.

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ITWhatYouDidThere@reddit

When printers die they return to Hell

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livevicarious@reddit

Nah that’s just HP

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lustriousParsnip639@reddit

The carbon black ink, derived from the burned bodies of millions of organic life forms, is the source of the curse.

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titlrequired@reddit

I’ve seen this.

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Raisin_Gatorade@reddit

Me too. Two different people. Can't wear watches.

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Raisin_Gatorade@reddit

Oh sorry. I replied to the wrong thing. I have actually seen people who interfere with electronics. In particular batteries.

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JohnDillermand2@reddit

I used to be one of those people. Never found an explanation, but have mostly grown out of it. Good example: I bought a decent-for-a-young-adult watch. A week later it stops. Take it to the mall to get the battery changed, nope, it's just dead. Go back to the store and they swap me for a new one. I go back to my shopping and before leaving the mall, this one is also dead. So I take it back again telling them they won't believe this. At this point they are very suspicious but agree to swap me again but different manufacture/model. I'm also leery at this point so I tell them I'm just going to mill out right here for an hour.... Sure enough it also dies. Bit of a hassle but they refunded me. That's been my experience with all non-mechanical watches. These newer smart watches seem to be ok and I've yet to burn one out but the battery life is terrible at about half what others will get out of them.

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JennyAnyDot@reddit

I and a few family members watch kill batteries. Have not tried a smart watch yet. Also tend to eat/dissolve some ring metals. As far as we can tell it’s related to the heart. Per my grandpa’s heart doc. He used a self winding watch and that works fine.

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flashpointblack@reddit

Fuck printer bro. Every printer.

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cajunjoel@reddit

That's the IT aura, things work in our presence, and that shit is real.

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theragu40@reddit

I'm convinced the actual IT magic is waiting. I feel like a great many "weird IT issues" go away if you just wait a minute. So this thing is happening, they call IT. IT has a response time of a few minutes or whatever. IT logs in, takes a look, boom. Working. What changed? Nothing, except that you waited a few minutes. Don't get me wrong I'm happy to sell it as a magical aura because it keeps everyone thinking we perform voodoo rituals to keep the environment afloat. But my brain requires some logic, and in the back end I've started to realize that time is the magic factor.

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psychopompadour@reddit

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?" is our incantation in desktop support... people joke, but it does fix a lot of things! I work at a big construction supply chain company so the users aren't super tech-savvy as a group but we've conditioned them to try this! Though there is the occasional bullshit attempt... "Yeah I already tried that. What? Uptime is showing as 97 days and there's no sign of a power cycle in the event viewer? Uhhh..." Why would you lie about this? We're not an overseas call center. I'm not gonna hang up on you and make you call back, I will wait on the phone with you, but this is happening. Save your spreadsheets and let's do it.

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theragu40@reddit

I always kind of do a double take when someone lies about something they should be well aware I can factually verify. Like, why do this? Do you think I won't check? *You called me*.

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ConsiderationLow1735@reddit

insane how universal this is

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zdelusion@reddit

I personally think a big piece of this is users actually pay attention to what they’re doing when we’re looking over their shoulder and so many issues really are just fixed with common sense.

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thrownawaymane@reddit

Lol This is definitely part of it, "can't look dumb in front of the computer person"

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rea1l1@reddit

Electronics are demonic. They straighten up real quick when a holy admin walks around.

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probably2high@reddit

It's crazy, but things actually work when the person is thinking through their actions instead of blindly clicking shit before you show up.

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roboto404@reddit

This is very real. Our CS department has requested a cardboard cutout of me in the middle of their cubicle area. I wish I was joking.

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dalonehunter@reddit

What a joke. The computers will obviously know it’s a cut out so that would never work.

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klubsanwich@reddit

Just take some of his clothes and stuff them with hay

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xblindguardianx@reddit

Is it magic or do users not accurately test before calling IT

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Dragonfly-Adventurer@reddit

People don't even ask me to fix problems, they just ask me to come stand in the room so the problem resolves.

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not_in_my_office@reddit

100% this, well maybe 99.999999% When I asked users to show me the issue, they will be like "Look it's going to work now since you are here and I will look like a fool!"

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Pauley0@reddit

Pre-empt that with "Well now that I'm here it's probably going to work. But that's okay--I believe you when you say you're having trouble. Okay, see if you can make it do the thing again."

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anonymous_commentor@reddit

Computers fear us and are on their best behavior around us.

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PrettyBigChief@reddit

The Fonzi Effect. Shit be real yo,

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LiberContrarion@reddit

Ayyyyy... In reality, I can immediately recall at least three systems in my life that required a firm, well-placed strike to return to expected operation. You damned well better believe these events were often followed by two thumbs up and an "Ayyyyy...".

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psychopompadour@reddit

Ah, the old "percussive maintenance" trick.

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ImPattMan@reddit

Yeah this is canon as far as I’m concerned.

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Turbulent-Royal-5972@reddit

Works for Ricoh too

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ImPattMan@reddit

Oh Brother…

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WebPollution@reddit

No Brother printers need a blood sacrifice

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psychopompadour@reddit

Their label printers also require dark acts of ritual torture, plus retrieval of the web interface password from a sticker on the INSIDE of the bloody thing under the labels (why). Zebra label printers, on the other hand, can usually be placated with the entrails of a small lamb or goat. Oce wide format printers, conversely, simply require the sacrifice of time rather than blood! Not sure if that's better or not.

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sparcnut@reddit

...in thou oldschool Hewlett-Packard heaven,

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LiberContrarion@reddit

Mostly Brother and HP, but I imagine it would work on Canon, too.

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Rogueshoten@reddit

![gif](giphy|TwiMF2Jg4cKDwKGOG1)

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SilentLennie@reddit

> PC LOAD LETTER

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narcissisadmin@reddit

The fuck does that mean?

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Nefarious_D@reddit

I have that, but with passwords. They only work after I drop everything I'm doing and go to HR and when I get there, they key it in and Viola!

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TheVillage1D10T@reddit

Proximity fix…happens all the time

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-_G__-@reddit

AOE ability.

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Dreamshadow1977@reddit

Technician Proximity Sensor.

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Apnea53@reddit

This applies to almost any technology.

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MonolithOfTyr@reddit

I went to troubleshoot a phone system yesterday and of course it all worked fine when I was present.

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triplexflame@reddit

Omg u have that gift too

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cereal7802@reddit

Used to work in a datacenter. I have that same thing with servers. Would come in to work and have a server in a pile on the desk that the 1st shift guys had been working on for hours. They would tell me it won't turn on and boot up. I flip the switch it powers up, boots and runs as if nothing was ever wrong. Some people just got strange abilities that don't make sense.

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flapanther33781@reddit

Tech Magic^^TM

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Smaxx@reddit

Damn, I'd love that energy. I always have to order replacements to make stuff suddenly start working again.

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Logical_Score1089@reddit

Life of working in IT

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alarmologist@reddit

It's because gremlins fear the smell of wisdom.

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litholine@reddit

You're hired

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LiberContrarion@reddit

I accept compensation in Stanley Nickels, Camel Cash, and Bob Evans gift cards, please and thank you.

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DrAculaAlucardMD@reddit

Same here. But the fix normally is a driver update.

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lordcochise@reddit

Ooo yep definitely have that aura myself lol (more often than not at least). Most of the time tho it's just b/c some user wasn't patient enough

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n0thingtoxic@reddit

As a printer tech I can say this seems to be working for me aswell from time to time

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wolfgeek@reddit

This is called “having the mojo” 😁

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Deadly_chef@reddit

You take the blue ink, the print ends. You take the red ink and I'll show you how to print a black page.

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djeasyrobin@reddit

Witchcraft!

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dasdzoni@reddit

Teach me oh wise one

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LiberContrarion@reddit

Have you tried turning it off and back on again, my child?

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dasdzoni@reddit

Yes wise one, it helps 8/10 times. Sometimes i gotta keep turning them off and back on a few times until they decide they want to work again

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djmarcone@reddit

Stuff works better when I am around. Not joking. My wife even noticed and told me. Other people have too. Shrug.

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pizzacake15@reddit

i had the same experience on my previous job. doesn't matter what brand, sometimes they start working when i'm in the vicinity.

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Mysterious-Tiger-973@reddit

This is exactly what i get paid for

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KindlyGetMeGiftCards@reddit

This comment reminds me of the Bruce Willis movie Unbreakable, I mean it could be true, it could be a movie, or...

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Naanad@reddit

Super power!

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kommissar_chaR@reddit

I sometimes only have to threaten to restart a pc to resolve an issue

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k9gardner@reddit

This is true for me too. I have a couple of people who just call me into their offices to stand there while they print something.

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KingStannisForever@reddit

The Presence. Ultimate ability of IT skill tree!! I know the feeling :)

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GeneralArugula@reddit

I fully believe you. My one coworker and I have worked together for about 15 years... Year 2 she banned me from using the photocopier or printer on my own. I work in IT...she doesn't lol. I can look at that thing and it stops working or jams, I don't even need to touch it I swear.

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dmaidlow@reddit

This is the way.

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LiberContrarion@reddit

This is the way.

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GrantSRobertson@reddit

As an IT manager, that was my superpower. Every piece of equipment in the facility was apparently scared to death of me taking it apart. So, it always magically started working as soon as I walked into the room. It sure saved me a lot of time. But I still had to walk around a lot.

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scienceproject3@reddit

This is the IT way, all electronics fear us because they know we will dismantle them if they misbehave.

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AStrandedSailor@reddit

I used to joke that my title was "Chief Computer Scarer". Whenever someone came to me with a problem it would magically work when I touched it: monitors, laptops, printers, sit-stand desks, frigging Excel spreadsheets. PEBKAC or ID10T errors for the stupidest stuff. Although I do like Crowley's approach to house plants: Every once in a while, Crowley picks a plant that is not growing too well and carries it around the flat to the other plants, telling them “‘Say goodbye to your friend. He just couldn’t cut it…'”. He then takes the plant out of the flat, and brings home “a large, empty flower pot” which he “leave\[s\] somewhere conspicuously around the flat”. Because of this, his plants are “the most luxurious, verdant, and beautiful in London”, but “also the most terrified”.

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ilrosewood@reddit

We are legion.

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dogcmp6@reddit

I believe printer firmware was used for early AI experiments. The printers somehow became semi sentinint as a result, and these projects were abondonded But the code that made them semi sentinent, somehow still remains, and has infected every printer.

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fencepost_ajm@reddit

Lots of stuff just starts working. I tell people it's because I drive a nail through a calculator in the parking lot every once in a while - whether it's a sacrifice or a threat is entirely up to your beliefs.

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Rubenel@reddit

I've gotten that response from clients 😆

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dodgy__penguin@reddit

Could be related to the size of the hammer you carry in your pack pocket. I know that's what keeps printers behaving for me

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LiberContrarion@reddit

Insert Captain Hammer joke here.

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new_nimmerzz@reddit

Can you visit all of my offices at least once per week?

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Triairius@reddit

This is me with iPhones. I don’t understand why, but my colleagues hand me iPhone problems they can’t fix because they just disappear in my hands for some reason.

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NecroAssssin@reddit

I see you also emit a techyon field!

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iggy6677@reddit

I have have people come yo me and say X application isn't working, do I follow them back to their desk and ask "ok show me what's happening" and it works 🤷‍♂️

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LiberContrarion@reddit

You have have have to do it.

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micdawg12@reddit

Haha. My wife says I'm the same way with all of her electronics. She has issues and then they magically start working when she asks me about it. I just wish it was the same way with all the stuff at work. :/

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LiberContrarion@reddit

___All___ of her electronic, magic man?

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AmusingVegetable@reddit

That’s because every night, you send them the pictures of what happened to the last one who didn’t.

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LiberContrarion@reddit

Let's just say they don't call my bastard son Lil' Ricoh for nothin'.

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Kinglink@reddit

You and everyone else in the universe buddy. You aint special. ;)

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LiberContrarion@reddit

> You ain't special. Apparently you've never seen the bus I ride in the morning. > ...made a printer... Please don't tape me to a printer, you evil, capitalist warlock!

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SofterBones@reddit

We have a little 'service desk' in our office that employees can come to with their problems, and we have an ongoing joke that simply getting near the desk instantly solves about 75% of problems employees swore they had in their own office just a few minutes ago.

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LiberContrarion@reddit

Have you checked the city records for see if it's directly over a native burial ground? Perhaps a witching stick -- you may be over a clean water source.

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Im_In_IT@reddit

Explains why everything breaks when I'm on PTO!

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LiberContrarion@reddit

Ah...you erred by fixing it before you left. When one sets low expectations, less is asked.

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posixUncompliant@reddit

Printers start working once I threaten them enough.

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BloodFeastMan@reddit

That's kind of like auto mechanics, my car purrs like a kitten the second I roll it into the parking lot.

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LOLBaltSS@reddit

There's usually a root cause, but it certainly drives people up a wall because nobody is willing to go down the rabbit hole of why some damn sensor or vacuum line is causing the car to fall on it's face and intermittently go into limp mode. Especially when the dealership and manufacturer is incentivized to deny warranty claims.

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progenyofeniac@reddit

Printers clearly fear life itself

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gadget850@reddit

Are you my clone?

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LiberContrarion@reddit

What's your favorite cereal?

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gadget850@reddit

Special K / Aldi Vitality.

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LiberContrarion@reddit

Not even close. Sorry, friend...though that means we needn't fight to the death. At least we've got that going for us. The correct answer is: Malt O'Meal S'Mores cereal.

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gadget850@reddit

I don't know what that is and I don't want to know.

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LiberContrarion@reddit

Rumor has it you're always left wanting s'more. It's an AMAZING sugar bomb and, as I eat cereal for dessert, quite appropriate.

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ChaoticCryptographer@reddit

Same here actually. Which is great because I hate printers.

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SublimeMudTime@reddit

Technician proximity sensors. They help keep us employed. Not to brag but I had an intern start yesterday and he is in the midst of a printer inventory and network access audit. Gave him about 15 things to check and some to change along with doing the RTFM if unsure. He is happy so far. It will be when a printer breaks that might give him a facial tick.

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lilelliot@reddit

If this were true, you'd literally be worth your weight in gold to any IT organization. More than gold -- you'd be a god.

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LiberContrarion@reddit

I'm not skinny.

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Lumpy_Cherry6491@reddit

You're hired!

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LiberContrarion@reddit

Is this legally binding?

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ReverendLoki@reddit

Then it sounds like you do in person tech support. Big deal, it happens for all of us, to one extent or another 😁

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Lavatherm@reddit

I have this with nearly every piece of equipment that is not hardware broken… Past 25 years I guess less then 100 but more then 50 people told me the sentence: you walk in and it seems to work now… I usually reply with “your *device* reeks of fear”

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wrdlbrmft@reddit

Just let the printers watch while you exorcise another printer…USING A SLEDGEHAMMER…

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Tf1ght3r@reddit

That's how lab equipment works, too. It knows it's keepers and stops acting up.

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mydogatemymouse@reddit

Keeping the kipple at bay

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ProgressBartender@reddit

That printer over there is named Bob Marley, because he can’t stop jammin’.

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tofu_ink@reddit

lmao, Everyone reports problems to me. I walk over and suddenly the problem goes away..... Yes Computers fear me, my personal energy will combat hers to the death.... if i get close to losing, I will just turn her computer off and back on again. FTW!

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XenonOfArcticus@reddit

Technician Aura. It's a thing.

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Hdys@reddit

I also have this power according to my users

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NextOfHisName@reddit

Oh i have this energy. It's either that or I'm too polite to tell people they are dumb.

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Affectionate_Ad_3722@reddit

We all have that. It's part of the person spec.

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CevJuan238@reddit

Previous service tech here, can confirm

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Holdmyorangesoda@reddit

If you tell her you're a spiritual healer, you might be able to get her to pay you to whip her with palm leaves. It's worth a shot. DC 14 CHA

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TacodWheel@reddit

Find some crystals (garden rocks) and tell her they help protect the equipment from her energy.

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SolitarySysadmin@reddit

Find some rocks, put them in a sock and beat the idiot around the head with it until your arm gets tired or they concede that they’re full of shit.

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crystallineghoul@reddit

Actually based, but kind of a crapshoot between "you're an amazing person!" and '"f*** you" and a meeting with HR.' Is it better or worse if they only believe in this one single phenomenon that only affects some families, or if they believe it all?

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litui@reddit

You're on to something, but keep the sources vague. "You know, I've heard of that, and I've also been told that setting <insert plausible gemstone/mineral here> on your desk can help redirect some of those energies away from the computer." Keep the sources vague. Might have to research nonsense gemstone spiritual properties in case they know their woo, but otherwise this could actually work.

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typo180@reddit

The absolute last thing you want to do as an IT person is introduce more superstitions for your users. “Sorry, manager, I just need to take the day off. I forgot my rose quartz and my computer is t going to work without it.” “Your WHAT?” “Yeah, the IT person told me to keep rose quartz on my desk to disrupt my bad tech energy.” “Cool, I’m gonna go get both of you fired now.”

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MalwareDork@reddit

And ruin my side hustle of selling copper coils entombed in resin? Hard pass.

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narcissisadmin@reddit

As we all know, it's bad luck to be superstitious.

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Spiritual-Stand1573@reddit

😁😂😁

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Nymall@reddit

If your boss fires you for a stupid thing an employee does... I wouldn't want to work there anyway.

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mrdeadsniper@reddit

In spirituality and crystal healing, several crystals are considered to have protective properties. Some of the most commonly used protective crystals include: 1. **Black Tourmaline**: Known for its strong protective energy, it is believed to absorb negative energies, offering grounding and shielding from harmful vibrations.

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fataldarkness@reddit

Show her an ESD strap, tell her it's what the techs use when working on computers to prevent negative energy from frying components. Let her know that if she wants to use the ESD strap she is free to, but if not Black Tourmaline works on similar principles.

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narcissisadmin@reddit

This is so funny that I didn't even laugh. I just nodded and clapped.

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electricheat@reddit

use a [wireless esd strap](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WME22G/) for convenience

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Careless_Vast_3686@reddit

I love these things! It’s kind of a “I know nothing about computers” warning when you see one :)

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Whyd0Iboth3r@reddit

Don't try this in winder in cold climates. As soon as they get a shock from standing up, the gig is up. It would work in places like Florida, though... For multiple reasons.

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Tack122@reddit

I love that it's labeled "BRO antistatic"

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Irverter@reddit

Get a crystal the same color as computer (or as close as possible). Either a colored quartz or a gemstone. Like a blue quartz or lapizlazuli for a blue HP.

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Optimal-Focus-8942@reddit

Blue Kyanite! I bought a ring just because it was pretty and the sales guy kept going off about how it “balances chakras” and “brings order to chaos” 🤣

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websterhamster@reddit

Can it bring order to my desktop?

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Optimal-Focus-8942@reddit

You could probably get an end user to believe it can

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spyingwind@reddit

A Silicon crystal is needed to help protect the PC from her aura, but it has to be charged by a member of the IT staff on a monthly basis.

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Fit_Detective_8374@reddit

Lol so it's okay for one person to believe in magic energy and not okay for someone to believe in magic rocks as a solution?

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crystallineghoul@reddit

checkmate, atheists

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XXLpeanuts@reddit

It's far more likely they are very clued up on crystals and would instantly call "bullshit" on his claim because that particular crystal is only for healthy skin or some shit.

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AITSHQ@reddit

How about a ground strap for her wrist?

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sybrwookie@reddit

The key is presenting it with a completely straight face and being just a liiiiiitle bit intense about it when you present it. You KNOW this works. You're excited to share this secret. You gotta sell that shit. That way, even if she doesn't buy it, she puts you on the same level as her for what she believes, and won't run to HR about it.

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gotfondue@reddit

\*looks down at black obsidian rock my boss gave me\* shit...

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zaypuma@reddit

If it was white when you got it, then its time to replace your crystal.

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aes_gcm@reddit

If it’s blue, then you’ve bought from Heisenburg. It’s blue, but every bit as pure.

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Cheech47@reddit

don't forget to replace the filter too

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Salty_Mastodon_7481@reddit

The Long Night is coming. Be prepared

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Scolias@reddit

OK but obsidian is cool

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Alarming_Series7450@reddit

Bronzite would be perfect since it grounds you and repels negative energy (My first job was selling [rocks](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bqcs4SMCYAADPkb.png)). It may cure her ailment.

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BigDowntownRobot@reddit

That's funny, it's one of the most common minerals on the planet. It's the main component of iron ore, which is the most abundant element that makes up the Earth. Iron makes up about 35% of the planet's mass, and is about 5% of the crust. Hematite is it's most common mineral form. The only metal more common in the crust is aluminum. You'd think we'd have better vibes on this rock considering everyone is constantly surrounded by it.

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Nymall@reddit

Perhaps this is the only reason printers work at all. :p Keeps the demons and magic smoke inside.

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BigDowntownRobot@reddit

Printers... Literally just saying the word gets my blood pressure up. Whatever printers are made of has to be whatever the reverse of Hematite because they sure fill me with negative energy alright. Uraninite/ptchblende probably.

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GeeToo40@reddit

They're minerals!

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bikingIsBetter_@reddit

Oh god I hope you actually believe in that... Good thing is, the positive energy will help with battery life! /s Side note on rocks: No scientific evidence was ever found that I am aware of. Please prove me wrong if I am wrong, I genuinely love to learn, and being proven wrong is part of the process. Since I have studied STEM, you'll probably says that I'm biased, and brain washed by the evil scientists and whatnot. Huh, sorry, but no. It is just that when it comes to the physical world, I need rock solid evidence (good pun right? Right? Well I found it funny...) before believing something

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Snowlandnts@reddit

An alternative go work with Kevin he is an energy vampire. He can suck the negative energy out of you.

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unclefeely@reddit

Daily saging until her energy improves.

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Snowlandnts@reddit

Does this sage contain THc?

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deltashmelta@reddit

I'm onboard with this approach. Could include something about the shape of it, too, being important, like a pyramid -- "or so I've heard". Seems to fall under: “It's *easier to fool people* than to convince them that they have been fooled.”

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Teal-Fox@reddit

My old company spent tens of thousands of pounds on crystals for the office. There was a table full of gems and they'd encourage people to have a read through the book and take one that suited them each day. They bought some absurdly expensive water dispensers, which had a _sealed_ glass dome full of crystals inside that somehow "infused" the water they weren't contacting with... energy, or something? They had some kind of spiritual guidance person that'd come in a couple times a month and offered to dab essential oil on your forehead. Very odd place to work. Perhaps the HR person who had a mental breakdown in the (open plan) office before launching a calculator at someone and storming off grabbed the wrong crystal that day.

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Sure_Acadia_8808@reddit

How much do they even pay these people?! I bust ass all day long and catch abuse from a boss who doesn't give a fuck about mental health, and then I hear that HR directors are putting crystals in the water cooler and probably making bank for it. I mean *come on!* I could do better than that with the place's feng shui in my sleep. Hire ME. what the fuck?

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thomsomc@reddit

Genuinely interesting approach, like "yes and'ing" from improv but for irrational people. "I'm a special energy being!" "Yes and for you, these crystals help balance the metawaves so that you don't need vibeshielding to use a PC, cool huh?"

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Mantly@reddit

Anyways uhm... I bought a whole bunch of shungite, rocks, do you know what shungite is? Anybody know what shungite is. No, no Suge Knight, I think hes locked up in prison. Talking shungite. Anyways, its a 2 billion year old like rock, stone that protects against frequencies and unwanted frequencies that may be traveling in the air. So thats my story. I bought a whole bunch of stuff, put them around the la casa. Little pyramids. Stuff like that.

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STUNTPENlS@reddit

... or tell her to pound a copper rod into the ground and attach a 0 AWG copper grounding strap from around her ankle to the grounding rod.

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ConfidentCobbler23@reddit

Dammit Marie, they're minerals!

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mjmacka@reddit

Open her PC's tower up and take them out for a second then say "we've already got it covered."

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Direct_Witness1248@reddit

Yeah was gonna say "install a patch"

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AStrandedSailor@reddit

[I know it's a rock! Don't you think I know a rock when I see a rock? I've spent a lot of time around rocks!](https://movie-sounds.org/disney-movie-sound-clips/quotes-with-sound-clips-from-a-bug-s-life/i-know-it-s-a-rock-don-t-you-think-i-know-a-rock-when-i-see-a-rock-i-ve-spent-a-lot-of-time-around-rocks)

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Bunktavious@reddit

Maybe a Q-ray bracelet to align her ions?

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posterchild66@reddit

This. Typical Mac user anyway, they will love it.

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Surefinewhatever1111@reddit

It's true. They are profoundly gullible and irrational. Maybe pour salt around her, like a circle. Then wait for her to spontaneously combust.

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TheDunadan29@reddit

Hot glue some crystals to the PC and it'll add a protective shield.

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Ontological_Gap@reddit

Nah, tell her crystals aren't known to work, and then give her an anti-static wrist wrap.

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CompuDocUt@reddit

Use a placebo give something to put on her desk or with her devices that counteracts bad device karma and has an effect range of 20 feet like a crystal of some type a rabbit’s foot might have worked years ago but was not lucky for the rabbit maybe a plant

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jeffstokes72@reddit

Some people do have more of a static field than others but her stories seem pretty far fetched. One time I installed ram in servers back in the 90s and we had 6/10 dimms DOA. My manager told me it was static and some folks just have more of a static thing to them than others. Anyway from that point on I was required to use the static discharge wrist strap and we bought an antistatic mat for the entry way to the server room, from that point on I never had a bad dimm. ymmv

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1Autotech@reddit

My dad used to work for Signetics making microchips. Everyone had to wear bunny suits in the fabs. There was a woman on his shift that had to wear a special grounded bunny suit because she would fry stuff otherwise.

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Kinglink@reddit

> . Anyway from that point on I was required to use the static discharge wrist strap and we bought an antistatic mat for the entry way to the server room, from that point on I never had a bad dimm. Those are real things. But just how you walk does matter. Either way, I would hope most IT people do treat static discharge as a real thing. It's not a problem if you touch a case, but if you're working on systems, why take any chance?

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Efficient-Junket6969@reddit

As someone who also works on servers all day, this is partly true, but it's almost entirely down to the clothing, shoes, and flooring type. The amount of hair on the body, combined with clothing, can cause static.

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jeffstokes72@reddit

thats fair, I'm not an expert in static cling or anything, just know what happened to me in the 90s is all

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Superb_Raccoon@reddit

Getting nothing but static Getting nothing but static Static in my attic from Channel Z...

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Middle_Efficiency471@reddit

My wife actually had something like that when she was younger. Always got shocked, like bruises from it shocked. Ruined electronics all the time, etc. I believe one doctor said it might be because her blood is high in iron. She was a guinea pig to doctors for a long time. It's mostly mellowed out now.

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AdTotal801@reddit

This is a prime example of "magical thinking" - that things can spontaneously happen without cause. (Don't @ me about quantum mechanics please, I know) Magical thinking is a plague on humanity but it seems so deeply baked that you can't like...you can't use logic to dissuade someone.

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Efficient_Will5192@reddit

I'm going to need you to go to the doctor and have them perform a full physical on you. I need them to generate a report on exactly what type of energy you're outputting? what is the frequency, what is measurement? are we talking Radio waves or radiation? oh lord, We going to need to order in a gigacounter.

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rustyleftnut@reddit

I've met people like this. She will die thinking this way. There is nothing you can do or say to make her believe otherwise.

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DrummerElectronic247@reddit

I kill older digital watches, but not smart watches, within about a month. I always assumed it was because my sweat was more acidic or something. I used to live in an apartment that was super dry had carpet that built up huge static on my when I walked across it. I could turn on my computer just by touching the case, didn't work to turn it off though. That's about as close as I can get to rationally explaining this kind of voodoo....

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Apprehensive-Ad4063@reddit

I’ve seen stuff like this, I don’t think it’s just someone’s energy though. Usually when someone thinks they’re going to break the electronic device they end up breaking it

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small_e@reddit

I had a laptop that keyboard always stopped working when my cat was near it

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kribg@reddit

I had a user that killed desktop computers once. Desktop computer hard drives would go bad in her computer monthly, and we could run RAM tests that failed all the time. We spent months rebuilding her computer after replacing hard drives, replacing the PC completely and trying to figure out what she was doing to kill them. We were so done with her and whatever she was doing to make the IT department's lives so difficult. As it tuns out after months and literally dozens of hard drives, that at some point a huge paper roll re-spooler machine was installed on the opposite side of a Sheetrock wall from her workspace. . Just 8 inches from her computer was a roll rewind machine (we were a label printer shop using 100ft long commercial printers and basically high speed laser printers mounted along the web). This machine was essentially two 10HP motors used to re-spool huge rolls of paper. Once motor to pull the paper from a roll and the other to act as a break. When they would use it to re-spool some of the larger rolls, the magnets in the motors were not only causing issues with the hard drives, but causing RAM errors as well.

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Unattributable1@reddit

I doubt it had to do with magnets. Likely it was on the same circuit and causing power issues. Put a power conditioner on the PC and it'd be fine. How did they resolve this? Move the machines or more her PC?

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kribg@reddit

We tried a UPS, but it was literally the magnetic field caused by the motors scrambling the bits on her HDD. It was acting like one of the old school magnetic gauss tape/HDD wipers. The only thing we could do was move her office. Ended up putting a bunch of filing cabinets in the spot.

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lnxrootxazz@reddit

That's surely a x file.. I would contact Mulder and Scully

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F1Beach@reddit

I also have this magical power. I used to be a PC support dude back in the 90’s. When I arrived at people’s desks and asked them to replicate the issues, PCs would work flawlessly

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AdeptFelix@reddit

If she needs a device with built in protections, she's now getting a ruggedized system from Dell or Panasonic.

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p90rushb@reddit

That's more expensive than a mac!

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AdeptFelix@reddit

It's about sending a message.

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MadIfrit@reddit

Dell ruggeds are no joke, I love them. If I could ever get one with a Snapdragon X Elite I might just start switching all my problem users to that. The cost isn't so bad considering the cost some of these people have incurred due to damages previously.

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DeifniteProfessional@reddit

I'm not sure the SD is really that good of a processor, especially with Lunar coming

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MadIfrit@reddit

For what my users are doing, it's perfect. Amazing thermals & battery life. We don't have anyone rendering or doing anything needing a GPU or intense CPU, and our people love to randomly walk around their house with their laptop unplugged for hours on end. My main issue is people cracking screens constantly "because they travel a lot" and I'm about fed up with it.

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DeifniteProfessional@reddit

Honestly the battery life is a huge plus, I've been eyeing up a new Surface tablet, but I simply can't justify the cost!

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psychopompadour@reddit

Wonder if these would be worth it to us... We've had multiple laptops (and cell phones) returned to the lab over the years due to falling off a tailgate and then being run over by a lumber truck or forklift. Oh and one guy who claimed he dropped his laptop in a lake. (HOW.)

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MadIfrit@reddit

Absolutely. I watched a video of a guy running over a Dell rugged in his Tesla and it still worked fine (albeit some cracks in screen but the touchscreen still worked. I have a really old version of the Dell 7330 that's 3 lbs heavier and obviously nothing fancy on it, but throw Linux on it and it's still great. I used to use it when I worked IT for a construction company but I can't justify the cost for a new one personally or at my current job.

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svarogteuse@reddit

Which is more expensive the special hardware that runs all the same software (a rugged windows device) or special hardware and software that doesn't integrate seamlessly with the rest of the environment (a mac)?

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robbzilla@reddit

It's also a lot easier to put on Azure with MDM than a Mac.

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Aquitaine-9@reddit

Great, I saw "MDM" and "Mac" in the same sentence and now heeere comes the PTSD ^^/s

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Unattributable1@reddit

"That's okay, we buy only FCC-approved equipment that can handle it. Try to stay positive!"

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Better-Revolution570@reddit

What a great way to out your whole family as a bunch of genuine idiots

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Ok_Guitar2170@reddit

The IT Gods are pitiless and cruel but just

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Hot_Tower_4386@reddit

Translator: I get a lot of viruses because I get on every site I see

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humanjunkshow@reddit

If you hand my mom a smartphone it freaks out. We've tried it with different brands (apple, Samsung, LG, google) same thing. Starts flipping between screens, screen turns off and on, shuts down. Wish I was kidding. She has a Nokia flip phone.

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stevenjklein@reddit

Give her an Intel Mac with Windows installed!

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One-Forever-2190@reddit

That is a wildest thing I've ever heard lol. You would have to be the most gullible damn person in the world to believe that

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Dependent-Moose2849@reddit

this person is clearly using this as an excuse to get a mac. I have met a few legit people there energy always seems to break electronics. My energy causes computers and electronics to be have. So many people tell I re booted 2 times and it legit did not work you come by and it starts working. It has happened to me so many times it's not a coincidence anymore but a real thing.

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Random00000007@reddit

I used to work at Best Buy long ago in computer sales and then Geek Squad. Had a customer come in one-time with a different story but very similar "issue" with electronics. They told me a lengthy story about electronic radiowave warfare with the veracity similar to the threat of Terminator Judgment Day. They stated that they could sense which electronics were bad and which were good (yes, bad as in literally evil and purposely trying to hurt people). The were purchasing a laptop and insisted that they be able to handle and touch the boxes of several of them to see how they "felt vibrationally" in order to pick the best and "safest" one. I thought they were possibly just casing the place to see the inventory and target it, so I asked the manager for approval and they didnt believe me when I went to the back and told them what was going on. My manager laughed thinking I was pulling their chain... The manager came out and asked the customer to repeat their request because he wanted to make sure that I was relaying it properly. My manager was stunned, but he decided to humor the customer anyways, and let them feel-up about 10 different brand new laptops still in their unopened boxes. What proceeded to happen was our watching this customer moan, flinch, wince, grunt, stroke the boxes and tap them, and finally smile and make humming sounds when they found the right one. Thiswas definitely one of the better exercises that Ive ever had in patience, keeping a straight face, and remaining professional lol. Every so often I hear about a story like yours and I recall this event that I had with another tin-foil hat wearing electronic warrior. Imagine how these people will feel and act some day when A.I. and humanoid robotics are prevalent everywhere. 🤣🤣🤣

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dogmanky@reddit

Thank God. All this time I thought it was just me.

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Fantastic_Explorer@reddit

https://i.redd.it/ofx3p5qov9qd1.gif

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CLodge@reddit

As someone who used to work with the public and now works at a private company. I just call bullshit on that to their face. If they want an accommodation go talk to HR. I don’t even entertain that shit. I would look them in the eye and say. “That’s not real. But if you want an accommodation you’ll need to prove it to HR and I’ll happily take care of it for you then.”

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LowLingonberry2839@reddit

Fair nuff, but I have entire networks that quiver into harmony as I approach.

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FutureRenaissanceMan@reddit

She's like the guy in Better Call Saul

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big65@reddit

My father could never keep a battery powered watch longer than a few months at most, mechanical watches were never an issue but battery powered would always die and stay dead even after replacing the battery.

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Martymations@reddit

PCLoadLetterItis

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Kildor@reddit

My grandmother couldn't wear a watch with electronics in it. Something about her body would kill it. Cheap stuff, expensive stuff, it didn't matter.

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a3poify@reddit

I had two weeks while in NYC of getting electric shocks from every metal surface I touched. I think it turned out to be a combo of polyester jumpers, the shoes I was wearing and air conditioning in every building because it started happening to me in my office a few weeks ago

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Jmkott@reddit

She probably shuffled her stocking feet everywhere she went, rather than walking normal by lifting their feet.

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Iforgotmyemailreddit@reddit

Nah, my mom has had this exact thing and she, being a lovely Christian woman raised in the 70's, absolutely hated shuffling because "That's how black people walk." But yeah, no watch could survive her wrist for more than like a week or 2 and every single freezer door in the grocery store would zap her like a mosquito hitting a bug light.

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tristen620@reddit

As a child and I guess as an adult I was always wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt myself, I have or I had rather this issue with watches. I thought they were so cool as a kid but they would always die in like I don't know kid brain. It seemed like a long time but probably about 2 months. And you know now watches are obsolete so I don't know. But it's a real thing, My mom had it before me but I'm a boy so I don't know. Anecdotally, at least I can say I never really drank a whole lot of water like ever. So maybe it's related to being dehydrated and having a wonky electrical system in your body from that.

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LeadershipSweet8883@reddit

An obsession with silk, rayon, wool, polyester or fur?

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Nesman64@reddit

My wife (and her dad) would kill wristwatches after a few months. She eventually switched to one with a titanium back and it's held up for several years. I always feel like I should take my multimeter to her.

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skilriki@reddit

There was a Reddit post within the past week of a guy describing a girl with the same problem. He said if you took the watches somewhere else they would start back up within a day. He also was saying that she moved several times and the problem followed her.

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iB83gbRo@reddit

My grandmother has the same problem. She also can't use a couple of old solar calculators that my grandpa uses.

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Creative-Dust5701@reddit

Field Engineer told story about at one customer whatever was failing on the mainframe (financial customer) would fix itself as soon as a certain tech walked through the door, they eventually put a picture of said tech inside the CPU access panel, system i am told had no more weird failures after that

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KaakTastic@reddit

Not sure if she’s off her rocker or not but I can vouch for the “watches stop working when I wear them” bit. Since I was a kid any mechanical watch will stop working if I wear it for more than a week. I can take it off, set it on a table and it will start working again in a few days. Iron count in my blood is high enough that it magnetizes them. Strangest thing in the world but it’s totally legit. The issue has never affected electronics though. Maybe she eats a lot of refrigerator magnets.

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DamionDreggs@reddit

Can you explain how you arrived at the legitimate conclusion that the iron in your blood is _magnetizing_ things?

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KaakTastic@reddit

As I stated, all mechanical watches simply stop working after I wear them for a week. They literally stop. No movement whatsoever. I then take them off, set them aside and magically a few days later they start to move just fine again.

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DamionDreggs@reddit

Fine. I was just trying to figure out how the leap to _magnetism_ and _blood iron_ was made. Genuinely curious and skeptical at the same time.

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Hellya-SoLoud@reddit

Ugh, worked with a woman who insisted her front desk be moved to a different wall, then complained that the printer made the light flicker (not wired for it over THERE). She did "cleanses" starving herself for days on end then claimed the headaches and brain fog were because of the printer/electrical issues (not lack of actual nutrients). Eventually we had it out when told her that her liver does cleanses and doing them all the time was as bad for your heart as being anorexic, she sneered "who told you that, a DOCTOR?" and I basically said yes it came from a heart specialist, the type that saved my mother. Anyhoo she was on "stress leave" for a while then never returned.

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captain118@reddit

I've actually seen this first hand. There was a girl who when she used a computer in the computer lab consistently, it would fail significantly faster than all the others over time. After a year, and 4 failed systems we had her start to wear a static wristband to ground herself. After that we saw significantly fewer failures. I don't know if Macs are better shielded from issues like that but I could see an argument with the all aluminum case it helping. If you were willing you could always buy the Mac and put windows on it. Though now with macs all running arm chips that might still be harder to do.

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Maliouse@reddit

Just give her some rocks from the parking lot and tell her they are magical crystals that will guard the electronics from her ehh "personal energy"..

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Sobel-The-Elf@reddit

I can only think in three things: 1. She has electrokinesis (the ability to manipulate/control energy). 2. There's an electricity/energy leak on her house and that's why her electronics act weird (or I don't know, I don't have many knowledge about electricity), or how other people says, she wears some types of clothing that gives electrical static or something like that. 3. This is a bait probably?

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sloppy_toaster@reddit

Op got a bunch of comments he didn’t want 😂

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invictajoe@reddit

This is a thing for some people. My mother in law went thru a bunch of computers that randomly quit when she worked for the state of TN. They told us about it at her retirement party.

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Dunamivora@reddit

As crazy as that sounds, I would say electronixs fear my energy because I seem to have a Midas touch. Things just work when I do them, and somehow do not when anybody else tries. 🤷‍♂️ I'm surprised by the hesitation on the Mac though. I prefer employees to have a Mac and the exception is for IT and Engineering, who get Windows. Less headaches, MacOS is easier to not break.

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shtoops@reddit

I’m a tech professional. My wife has the same issue. The problem is real.

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Spiritual_Brick5346@reddit

has she thought about a career in the military? she should send in some resumes

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G33k4H1m@reddit

I used to work with a guy in the Navy whose wife actually had this sort of energy. We argued for months about it before I met her and I told him he was full of BS. Once we met, he actually arranged tests with new electronic equipment with her around….and I’ll be damned if they didn’t shut off or malfunction or the screen would degauss itself. Crazy.

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zoktolk@reddit

How old?

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Hoovomoondoe@reddit

10:1 she’s a very religious too.

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Surefinewhatever1111@reddit

Not religious but "spiritual".

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narcissisadmin@reddit

[Pertinent](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71zLqonpROY)

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Hoovomoondoe@reddit

So, a recovering theist… poor kid…

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Surefinewhatever1111@reddit

Sure, until there's salt spread everywhere and she burns the place down with her votive shrine. Space heaters have nothing on a liquid candle fire.

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Traveling-Techie@reddit

Look up “Pauli effect” in Wikipedia.

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Negative_Raisin_997@reddit

Just go with what she's saying. And then tell her that you have a special crystal that counteracts her personal energy. Tell her you've sent many employees this crystal, and it always works. Then give her a crystal! Problem solved.

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katha757@reddit

To be fair one of my family members has the wrist-watch issue too, they wouldn't work more than a few weeks then inexplicably die, regardless of quality or price. I wouldn't have believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes. They didn't have any more issues than normal with computers though. As far as I know they are the only one in the family with the watch issue.

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DamionDreggs@reddit

It's just lack of understanding how things work. Remember that to many people 'stipped working' just means 'the menu item that I expected to be exactly here isn't now so I can't continue with my memorized routine, making the electronics broken' People who feel like electronics and software 'just break around me' are technologically illiterate, and can't function in technological society because they don't understand how to navigate the physical and digital interfaces that surround them. The fix to this magical energy problem is education and a little bit of practice.

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Pale-Jello3812@reddit

I worked with a guy once yrs ago that machines hated with a passion, let him take over and it would error out & crash in minutes after running non-stop with no issues for the last 8-10 hrs. Only his being their would cause it to crash ?

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Potential-Quit-5610@reddit

I know quite a few people that claim this happens to them. I cannot confirm or deny their experiences but I let them tell their stories because that's generally all they want is to be seen and heard and hopefully not taunted or ridiculed for very hard to believe claims calling them crazies. I've had some things glitch out when I walked in places but I was pretty sure it was just coincidental timing. I think a a lot of people have had interference either from radio waves or other wireless technology. If I was traveling in my old car , the antenna sometimes had problems with picking up static, if I put my hand pressed up against the roof it helped alleviate the static. I assumed it was maybe some sort of grounding that was happening. It happened a lot more during a couple months in 2018 enough so that I started researching the phenomena. Look into the term "sliders". It's some interesting stuff but I don't know if it can be confirmed with the scientific method because it isn't all the time, supposedly it's during periods of excessive energy I guess the word was like "flux" or something? I dunno. It's one of those fun things to kinda know about but not take too seriously because it really doesn't matter if it's confirmed or debunked , the effect doesn't actually do anything like jump into the future or anything, it's kinda like excessive static charge.

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dschmitz1987@reddit

Unsure about having to use a Mac instead of a PC, but I can’t wear a watch with battery either. I have to wear either a mechanical or an automatic watch.

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RandyLovehammer@reddit

One of my staff thinks this of themselves too, maybe not taking it as seriously as your employee. She calls herself a 'slider' as lights go out when she walks past them (apparently). Load of nonsense.

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KickedAbyss@reddit

Mac users.

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SooperDiz@reddit

Send her a grounding strap with her shiny new windows pc

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adobedropout@reddit

The kids gotta point 🤷‍♀️

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squirrel278@reddit

Tell her Israeli defense forces are looking for recruits. I hear they need people to help blow up paigers

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Chemical_Buy_6820@reddit

Actually I saw this first hand. It was interesting actually; they had abnormally high static charge build-up and it inevitably used to fry electronics around her. However once I gave her an anti-static wristband connected to the desk, it all went away...

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ehutch79@reddit

Serious suggestion; buy her a grounding strip/bracelet. If it's real, it might help. If it's fake, it's a placebo.

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WWGHIAFTC@reddit (OP)

She has no history of devices being broken/replaced here on our records.

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Sengfeng@reddit

Buy an old Macbook, put parallels/Windows on it, and give it to her.

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Alanthedrum@reddit

I've had people like this.... "Oh it's just my aura breaks electronics" No it fucking isn't Barbara, I've fucking watched how rough you are with computers. I know that you've piled a bunch of shit on top of your laptop until it overheats. I've seen you do it. I know your screen broke because you shut it on your keys. I have seen you literally throw your laptop into the back of your car. 'Oh but they always glitch out around me' No they don't, you just kept opening tab after tab after tab, never close anything youve opened until the fucking computer keels over and won't listen Aura my hole, you're just a fucking moron.

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BarisBlack@reddit

We need more upvotes in this one.

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shockerdyermom@reddit

Tape a crystal to the space bar and close the ticket.

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Tulpen20@reddit

We had two people who put up such a fuss about a wireless AP being in their room (because of the radiation!!! (emphasis theirs)) that we were forced to move the AP's ... so we kept them in the same positions, just placed above the ceiling tiles (non-foil backed tiles). Then we informed the complainers that even though the AP's were 'gone', their cellphones, wireless mouse, keyboard, smartphone, ear buds, headphone, smart watch, etc - were all emitting (electromagnetic) radiation far closer to their bodies. Then we smiled and left.

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narcissisadmin@reddit

She should put crystals on her desk.

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AnUnknownSource@reddit

Tell her your sysadmin energy counteracts personal energy issues for a 3 block radius and it won't be an issue. She doesn't believe it... She believes she can game the system for nicer gear/special treatment if she's persistent enough about it. I bet if you ask if it's been medically diagnosed you'll get an earful about HIPAA (that doesn't apply to you or the situation anyway) and how she couldn't wear a mask during COVID either 😂. Seen the same kind of crap from several people over the last few years, always the same routine until they get what they want or magically forget about it one day.

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Kamikaze_Wombat@reddit

One of our customers had an employee who couldn't use a wireless mouse. Battery would always die in just a few days, multiple mice, at least one was Logitech and not some China no name mouse.

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akindofuser@reddit

She talking about laptops or PCs? Because if its laptop maybe she means the ones issued to her are just flimsy af and she's hard on her gear. Mac's are bit sturdier.

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Problably__Wrong@reddit

I believe this to be somewhat true. But, that being said I'm not buying you a Mac.

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punkwalrus@reddit

This is definitely a thing. I had a roommate like this. She went through 3 computer monitors in the 2 years I shared a house with her, and you could tell the path she took from her home office to her bedroom because those bulbs would burn out constantly. Our street light never worked in front of our house. And in 10 years, she went through 4 brand new vehicles that all died well within warranty due to electrical problems (two Toyotas, a Suzuki, and a Ford).

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ihatepalmtrees@reddit

True story

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ihatepalmtrees@reddit

Mercury retrograde bro

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Rowendk@reddit

i had a user who started putting spoons on top of monitors, because of some energy shit. I removed them everytime i found one

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IBNice@reddit

Her and her family have a history of sticking forks in electric sockets. That's why their watches stop. Source: my brother had the same types of problems.

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povlhp@reddit

And my presence makes problems go away. We are all different.

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NTufnel11@reddit

Has nothing to do with the phishing email she routinely clicks

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Rival314@reddit

Just you performed a “energy purification ritual” using rocks or some stupid shit and that it nullifies the effects of any damage done to electronics. If she doesn’t accept that and fears she will still break it, make her prove it lol

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CeC-P@reddit

I have a solution. The company should fire her.

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Scamp3D0g@reddit

If your company supports Mac's then why she wants one should not be an issue. If they don't it's a good chance for you to get some hands on Mac experience that could come in handy down the road. Bump it up to management and tell them you need at least two Mac's, one for her and one as a spare/test machine.

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coffee_ape@reddit

As someone with a witchy side AND is in IT, if you get a black obsidian rock, tape it to the computer and say that it will absorb her energies and ground it on the metal casing of the computer.

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cellnucleous@reddit

If it's any consolation "that" has always been there. Have a similar story from a person who insisted their "personal energy" burnt out the automatic transmission in their vehicle circa 1993. I mumbled something like "that must be difficult" and found somewhere else to be.

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iApolloDusk@reddit

Get that shit in writing, save it, and move on. Shit is waaaaay outta scope 😂

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WWGHIAFTC@reddit (OP)

I'm in pretty tight with HR, so I was planning on swinging by for a heads up chat today. They get a kick out of this stuff.

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hamellr@reddit

I’ve been in IT 35 years now. These type of people absolutely do exist. And buying higher quality equipment that doesn’t leak EMF ad much usually does fix the issue. The human body does emit EMF and can be sensitive to EMF. In the late 90s I worked at a help desk that carried around a brick phone as an on call tech. Every single one of us could feel the phone powering up before it even rang and frequently answered it before the caller heard it ring themselves.

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vimefer@reddit

It's a [documented side-effect of having had a near-death experience.](https://med.virginia.edu/perceptual-studies/wp-content/uploads/sites/360/2017/01/NDE-83-EM-JNDS.pdf) I was burning out watches, and making PCs crash by mere contact for years so much it became a running gag in my circle of friends.

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ArtSmass@reddit

I bet her personal-ality ruins boners too

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WebPollution@reddit

I had this crazy chick who said she had to have her PC on the floor as far away from her as possible because she dind't want to be affected by the radiation coming from the machine to impact her health. We told her no.

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Expensive_Plant_9530@reddit

Your employee is mentally unwell. There's not much you can do about it, but I would just not indulge her fantasies. Remain polite and fix any issues that come up with her devices, but yeah - that wouldn't be enough to justify getting a Mac in my company.

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BearDenBob@reddit

Better Call Saul

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theolentangy@reddit

The shit people convince themselves of to be able to say to themselves they are special is insanity. I get why. Thinking about how not special I am can be depressing. But man…having a super power?

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heliotonix@reddit

Trust me, it's not an attempt to feel special. Unless you are one of these people, you don't know HOW depressing it is to experience this. When you're the type of person who goes out of their way to take extra precautions and care for your devices but they still somehow glitch in a way that's unexplainable, yet others around you are so careless with their shit yet they NEVER have issues with theirs. I assure you, it's incredibly frustrating and drives you crazy because you try to think of any other possibility under the sun until you've exhausted all routes and just accept that it is simply yourself that's the problem.

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rednib@reddit

This is a legitimate thing, my wife is one of these people and I met one other person before who did this type of thing. My wife using my computer will cause it to screw up somehow, like the screen will go blank, or blue screen or just the mouse will stop working, its always something completely random that a reset fixes but her energy definitely breaks my stuff. The staff member who also did this, from years back, she too would have the most ridiculous stuff happen to her, and that was with both workstations and with audio gear (she was a radio dj) so it was always something wild.

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Odd_Act2078@reddit

I think this person is an alien from another planet

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Medill1919@reddit

Sell her the or gone energy balancing medallion.

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CyberHaki@reddit

Well, IT pro here. Computer issues tend to go away when users about to show it to me

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JohnnyricoMC@reddit

> Everything glitches out around her when she's angry or stressed she says. Maybe she needs to learn to stop taking out her rage on inanimate objects.

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PlainNotToasted@reddit

Lol, of course it's a MAC person.

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TerminalxGrunt@reddit

The computer equivalent of a horse girl.

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whit_wolf1@reddit

A friend of mine in college had this as well couldn't wear watches they would stop working after a day or so and in our Intro into Computers class he killed 3 power supplies ... it was crazy the instructor was amazed even watched helpless as the 3 power supply just flat out died... this is a real thing... however seeing how shes had the same desktop for 5 years id say its safe... but also given its been 5 year im sure its just slow and she wants something shiny and new.

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EggplantMiserable559@reddit

I worked with a woman who said the same thing. Except she could prove it. We used a shared Panasonic Toughbook in my office and intermittently while she worked on it, it would shut off or reset. Never happened for anyone else. The team thought she was haunted! It took me a couple days to figure it out. She wore a fitbit watch with a magnetic clasp band. The magnet in her wristband triggered the "case lid closed" magnets on the surface of the laptop and caused it to sleep. I was able to replicate it right away and just had her stop wearing that watch while working. Never happened again! It's wild how something can be true and false at the same time. Good luck with your own exorcisms! 😂

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zvii@reddit

Had a fun time with Latitude 5520s when we first deployed them. I was imaging and had a stack of them. Power button did nothing. Once I moved it a little, screen came on. Happened a couple times before it dawned on me.

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Puki999@reddit

Simple just put in the ticket and in the notes put Requesting Mac because they are durable and PCs glitch out due to the energy she outputs.

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DrDew00@reddit

This is a real thing. My mother is one of those people who touches electronics and they glitch or fail entirely. Watches never worked for more than a few weeks for her. PCs had unexplainable issues when she was using them but worked fine for anyone else. We went into a Spencer's once and she touched a plasma ball and it turned off. As soon as she stopped touching it, it started working again. It worked normally when I touched it.

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Mikel_S@reddit

Back when I worked at radios hack, I had personally run into people who seem to break things just by being near them, and in one case a woman who demonstrated her ability to sap batteries on touch, but it was always OS agnostic.

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asic5@reddit

>And that she needs a Mac instead of a PC because they are more durable against her personal energy and PCs always break around her. "yeah.. no.. we are not doing that. Have a good day."

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LnStrngr@reddit

Ooh, a story about perception of energy. When I was younger, I worked in a Mom & Pop computer store. We sold computers to companies but mostly to people. Half of them were getting their first home computer. We couldn't compete with the big box stores on price, but we could out-service them. We had one customer who wasn't computer illiterate and had used them for years come in and buy his first mouse for his home PC. He came in a week later asking for a replacement. This mouse was "leaking energy." He could feel it in his wrist, it was getting sore and tingly. We though it was BS, but we replaced it. He came in a week later complaining of the same thing. Again, he wanted to replace it. One of our guys asked to come to his house and see it when it was happening, so the arranged a time to do that. Our Guy gets there and asks to see the setup. Customer had a computer desk where the monitor sits on top, and the keyboard is on a tray. Between the two, however, is a slanted surface to put your magazine or letter or paper that has whatever it is you are typing into a document. Well, Customer had his mouse on the slanted part, and he held it in a death grip, dragging it from place to place on the screen as if he was etching into the wood. Our Guy said you could see the user's muscles in his arm tense up as he hyper-focused on moving that pointer. His mouse wasn't leaking energy; he was giving himself some kind of carpal tunnel.

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ldaploy@reddit

She didn’t mention that it had to be new. So, I would offer her something 10-15 years old.

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Snoo_88763@reddit

I had a coworker who would do things all of us would do but somehow get it just -that- bit off and break the system completely. We were convinced it was his energy.

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Express-Quality-1449@reddit

Is your coworker Storm?

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AccomplishedRead2775@reddit

Nah this real as fuck. She gonna need a type writer and an abacus. No electronics at all. Please respect her disability

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Environmental_Pin95@reddit

Could be half truths. Anything from mutated genes to the real fact wearing polyester clothing and walking style that builds up electricity to their walking style that they always shuffle their feet with leather bottom shoes will then build up a great amount of static. It is known people who have heart issues are known to permanently break watches of any sort because the energy from the body during a heart attack can and does damage watches. Also maybe she could be wearing lots of jewelry of the type of holistic health types who drape themselves in magnetic beads thus causing laptops to shut down and crash or reboot. So I would not suspect of lying but She is one of the of types above that I mentioned.

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Any-Fly5966@reddit

I feel this is true for some people. I've had users go through equipment like water, something is always breaking. I always think "I couldn't break this much stuff if I tried."

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First_Understanding2@reddit

Yer a wizard harry….

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bungee75@reddit

Well it does happen that some people have just bad luck with equipment, I've seen it happen. But this one is new to me :D bad energy for PC-s but not Mac's This is a truly new one

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asdrunkasdrunkcanbe@reddit

People this happens to just typically have low levels of situational awareness. Their stuff breaks in strange and unexplainable ways because they don't take care of it. They put the laptop down on top of a spill on the table, or leave it running stuffed in a padded backpack, put heavy objects on top of it, wear their watch while washing their hair, etc. etc. The thing never fails immediately but starts "glitching" and doing weird things long after the original cause of the damage is undetectable. I don't discount the possibility that some people due to the clothes they wear and the way they move around, possibly generate more static than others. But obviously there's no "personal energy field" that can disrupt electronics in this way.

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WWGHIAFTC@reddit (OP)

Yes, nailed it. There is a Grand Canyon sized disconnect between saying, "my personal energy aura ruins electronic", as opposed to acknowledging that behaviors and static can damage sensitive electronics faster. I'm surprised by how many comments have come up thinking all this can't be explained by random chance, static build up, and just how bad people treat their stuff.

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Smaxx@reddit

Sounds like you should spend those 1500-2000 bucks for a new mac on a faraday cage. Or get an ESD clip/armband to ground her negative energy. 😉

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Vangoon79@reddit

Time to turn this employee's cubical into a properly grounded Faraday cage. Problem solved. Maybe.

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Snoo-63009@reddit

After she said this to me: *Mimes shushing sound and quietly stand up and shut office door* How many people have you told? Do you ever discuss this around the devices in question? I got into this field not because I enjoy the work but because my personal energy protects devices. I have a way of shielding them from these types of issues. I can come and sit at your desk for a day while you work to help create the necessary protections. I would recommend that you not discuss this around the devices going forward computers are filled with memory and you don't want to take any chances.

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WWGHIAFTC@reddit (OP)

brilliant

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NFTArtist@reddit

have you tried making her a tin foil protection bracelet?

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ocrohnahan@reddit

I had a woman who glitched computers regularly. Turned out to a combination of wig, rayon clothing, and the office carpet. We got her an anti static mat which settled things down. Get your person one of those cordless anti-static straps and tell her that it will stop her personal energy from getting to the computer. Then go tell HR to stop hiring crazy.

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jrgman42@reddit

Tell her to bring in a doctors excuse. But seriously, I remember a user putting in a request for a ridiculously-sized monitor for some made-up medical bullshit. The manager decided the cost was worth not having the hassle of dealing with the user.

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PocketTornado@reddit

Mental illness is a thing.

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dummkauf@reddit

I can vouch for this! My wife can just look at a laptop and cause it to blue screen. Fortunately I emit a polar opposite energy that balances it out so it works perfectly when she tries to show me what's wrong. 🤣

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seanocaster40k@reddit

She's just trying to con you into an upgrade. May want to jot that into a note to her manager

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notmyspacetom@reddit

I know it sounds crazy, but I am this way and I have never been able to figure out why. Since I got my first laptop in 2005, I have had at least 25 laptops and multiple dozens of warranty repairs, mostly Dell and HP. One even caught fire. Lenovo Thinkpads seem to be the most resilient so far for me. I've only had one motherboard replacement on my current one.

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angryitguyonreddit@reddit

Yea thats a new one ive never even heard before. I feel like this was probably something she read online that someone said to their IT to get a mac or just some dumb story someone made up thats just an apple only cult member and said it to you to try and get a mac. I seriously dont understand those people that just refuse to use anything but a mac, we had one dev that would only work on a mac and refused to touch a PC and he would bring his personal mac to the office, set up a hotspot on his phone to connect to the internet (we didnt let him plug into the company network for obvious reasons) and than he would log into an aws workstation to do his work... which was a windows 10 vm and do all his work on the windows vm.

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MrAwesomeTG@reddit

Does her cell phones die often too?

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Novajesus@reddit

Worked with a guy whose wife claimed to get headaches from wifi. He has Ethernet cables run in new house. Only home wifi apparently because she’s ok at work and out and around.

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DramaticErraticism@reddit

There are two types of people in the world, there are those that understand they are part of something that is much bigger than themselves and there are those who thing they are a big part of the world, they are special. Since there is nothing that actually makes most of these people special, they invent fantasies and manifest them, to validate their ego-centric way of ingesting the world around them. It is annoying.

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Haki23@reddit

Remember those stickers people attached to their phones to boost signal? Put one on her PC and tell her it attenuates and disperses excess energy

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often_awkward@reddit

"she needs a Mac" This is just Apple cultish behavior and not reality because if her personal energy ruins electronics how is a Mac, that has Intel inside and is virtually identical to all the PCs these days in terms of hardware, is going to be any different? As an aside, don't tell anybody because you might hurt their feelings, iOS is based on a Linux kernel just like Windows. iOS is basically become windows with fewer personalization options and Microsoft is trying to force you to use the Microsoft store so Windows is turning into iOS.

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neoseek2@reddit

https://i.imgur.com/c5GgPAf.png

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agent674253@reddit

This reminds me 'Better Call Saul' and his older brother that was 'allergic' to things that emitted energy. I got a nice smile when he was in the hospital bed and it was 'off', but really 'on', and he was like, 'ah, that's better'. Mental illness is such a bastard to us, isn't it?

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utvak415@reddit

I've seen my mother go through multiple battery powered wrist watches growing up. The longest they would last is a couple months. She ended up getting some kind of kinetic self winding watch, it builds mechanical energy based on natural movement. Has had that same one for decades now. She has never owned a smart watch so I don't know if the same would still hold true now on modern tech. I have never seen her kill a laptop, remote, or any other electronics she handles regularly though. Never had a problem at her office with equipment to my knowledge either. I think there is some truth in the idea of what's causing the problem but they are embellishing a bit to get the tech the prefer. Given that every computer is or should be grounded, I find it hard to believe any excess static a person could develop would kill most things they are wearing. Do her one better and update her with what she really needs, an antistatic wrist/ankle strap.

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Mr_Engineering@reddit

Give her an ESD mat with a wriststrap and have her place it on her desk. Tell her that it eliminates negative POSIX energy and promotes high frequency oscillations within her computer to improve productivity

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Ok_Television5138@reddit

She just wants a work Mac, no? Provide her a lovely HP G30 from 2009.

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mini4x@reddit

>needs a Mac instead of a PC Biggest BS reason I've ever heard, she just want s Mac and wants you to pay for it.

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CAPICINC@reddit

Better call S...omeone!

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IndependentPede@reddit

Just tell her that's one of the most ridiculous things youve ever heard and walk away.

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mic2machine@reddit

Reporting party is known bogon emitter. Cluon emitter dispatched to counter effect. Ticket closed. Periodic laying on of hands seems to work.

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Spiritual-Mechanic-4@reddit

"Yea, we know a small percentage of people are like that, we factor it into the IT budget. its cheaper to just replace your hardware when your aura glitches it out. go ahead and call us when that happens and we'll get your PC swapped ASAP."

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Careless_Vast_3686@reddit

Dunno why everyone is suggesting crystals when good old fashioned Homeopathy will work.! Grind up a psu and soak it in some water, then dilute it nmillion times and the water will remember the correct charge for computers. The person can add a drop of it to their (I assume) wildly complex coffee order and they’ll be cured in no time!

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dRaidon@reddit

Had a client like that. She insisted we removed the AP by her office because wifi made her sick. Then she complained that the wireless internet was slow.

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CreativeGPX@reddit

My boss once told me something like that after a literal minute or two of telling me she knew I was going to think she was crazy and knew what she was about to say didn't make sense. My response was basically to acknowledge her feelings on the matter but let her know that in my role I'll be following the proven methods for reliability. We worked another few good years together. Crazy theories are fine if you don't let them interfere with business. In OP's case, just say that buying decisions are made at the aggregate level because handling each person individually would be unsustainable, but that you can help show them some backup options, etc. if they want some extra protection.

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Zippityzeebop@reddit

I had a user who Said she had to use ethernet for her connection because she couldn't use "EMF." I had to check her router for something else and it was broadcasting two Wi-Fi networks, 2.5 and 5. The reason why she couldn't use EMF... Was because her daughter had a seizure a couple years ago. And that's what she believed caused the seizure. You know I don't really care what people believe, but the problem here is, her daughter had that seizure for an actual reason. And it was an EMF, and they did absolutely nothing to figure out the real reason why. So that girl is probably suffering and might have another seizure because they blamed some stupid Luddite made-up bullshit.

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Crafty_Train1956@reddit

Some people are completely consumed with the story in their head.

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dog2k@reddit

i'd call it ridiculous if i hadn't seen this in action for 2 people on several instances. And I can't wear a mechanical watch as they loose several minutes every month. Not saying there is any logical reasons but independently verifiable results.

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SFlo_Gaymer724@reddit

I mean, it sounds weird but as IT people don't you ever walk up to an end user with an issue and the issue suddenly doesn't exist anymore? I'm not a big believer in spiritual stuff, but I have experienced weirdness like this in my 13 years as an IT person... regardless of that, it sounds like this person just really wants to use a Mac for work. I've heard all kinds of excuses for people INSISTING they need a Mac and not a windows PC, but this one is the strangest by far.

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Angy_Fox13@reddit

When I was first in IT 25 yrs ago I remember reading a study that determined computer chips can "behave" slightly differently when a person is involved than when they are just alone in a room. Maybe there is something to this....I've met several end users who seemed to have an IT jinx. I mean devices have inexplicably just worked hundreds of times when I looked at it. maybe IT workers have the reverse-jinx.

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Pelatov@reddit

This 100% checks out. I’m no longer allowed to visit the datacenter as I cause outages across all companies that house hardware in the datacenter. All the PSUs release the black magic smoke that allows them to run and then they cease running after. Just from my mere presence

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mello-t@reddit

This is a real phenomenon. Bad pc energy. Sadly, Mac’s are not immune and she is destined for a life of no electronics. Also, the earth is flat.

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DrAculaAlucardMD@reddit

So, I have a pertinent story. Worked for Apple in another life, and had a woman constantly swapping her MacBook for a different model, or returning them all together. Overheard one interaction and walked over from the Genius bar. I asked her the following...."Mam, I've seen you here a few times exchanging computers, but never had the chance to introduce myself. I'm "me". Mind if I ask why you keep swapping MacBooks? Maybe we can find a better spec'd unit or something that's a better fit." "They always power off when I use them, and I get sick and tired of rebooting every time, I guess I have bad energy for electronics?" It was at this point I noticed some well worn jewelry on her wrist. "Weird question, but is that magnetic?" "Why yes it is." Ah ha! "So you are correct, but not in the way you might think about the bad energy. Can you hold the laptop like you normally would when it powers off?" She placed her wrist right over where the magnetic sensor was for detecting a closed laptop...... That was a fun day.

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sophiabarhoum@reddit

I would love to be able to come up with an excuse to "need" to use a Mac vs. the stupid Windows machine they make me work on.

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Ad-1316@reddit

If one truly is that way, they must resign as they are incompatible with the company.

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YamuriTheSpaceHound@reddit

Unironically there is a CEO of a company we work with and he has the same problem. Goes through PC's once a year.

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Moontoya@reddit

On one hand it sounds like bollocks On the other, I have the Technomancer aura where stuff miraculously works when I'm there and I've run into users who continually have weird issues that defy technical or logical explanation So... It's possible, but it does usually impact all types of technology.

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digital_darkness@reddit

I had a user once tell me this and actually backed it up. Every time he would wear a digital watch it would die after a week or so after purchase. He blamed it on lightning striking right outside of his bedroom when he was a kid.

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Espada254@reddit

You did good.

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dont_remember_eatin@reddit

Durable? Tell them NASA uses ThinkPads on the ISS. Not MacBooks. Maybe the occasional iPad for floating around work. Sauce: Work at a space company. We get live video direct from station and have it up on big monitors all around campus.

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jpStormcrow@reddit

You've never had a user that shit just breaks around have you

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Dry-Prize-3062@reddit

I used to call this my superpower. Along with being in the way and getting undressed quickly. I got out of several duties in the military by “breaking” computers. Now I work in IT.

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Kooky-Interaction886@reddit

Poor Grannie she ought to retire.

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SeriousPlankton2000@reddit

It's their carpet / shoes / clothes. Mystery solved.

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strawberryjam83@reddit

She's going to need earthing or a pen and paper.

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vabello@reddit

I knew a guy this happened to when I was in high school. The oddest problems always happened to his PC and electronics in general that he used. It’s not like it was his house either, because he’d sit down at random computers in our computer lab and have the same type of unexplained crashes and machines locking up. He would just laugh every time it would happen.

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Greywolf6502@reddit

Yes, she's an Apple person better get her one.

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praetorthesysadmin@reddit

I've meet an engineer that couldn't use anything that had a chip or magnetic stripes (like credit cards), because after a few seconds of holding that on her hands that thing would just die / stop working. It was really painful for her, since she could only carry cash, could not touch any electronics for a prolonged period of time, but she would occasionally joke around people by touching peoples company key card and thus they could not leave the premisses without requesting a new one :D I don't remember about watches (analog) but digital ones would just fry (she used one for some minutes, that belonged to one of my colleagues, just to prove him that point and he had to send it back to RMA because that thing just fried). I called her "Matilda" in secret. ;) Fun fact: she was an electromechanical engineering, that had major issues just to finish her course and she barely finished it.

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robert5974@reddit

My mother-in-law says this also. It also happens to be the case for me when I come to solve a problem, either at home or work, things magically are working again before I do anything. Might be something to all this.

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ilrosewood@reddit

Look - I’m not saying she’s right. And your receipts prove she is wrong. But I had a friend in highschool who was like this. Any PC he touched he ruined. He once crashed my computer by walking into my bedroom. When he left my house, it started working again. Also for the 30 years I’ve been in IT I’ve fixed far more problems by just being there. Even before I started in IT I could fix things like my mothers’s car by just getting in the car. Is what I just said true? Absolutely. Is it pure nonsense - of course. I don’t believe in any magical IT ability. Buuuuuuuut….

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pretty-late-machine@reddit

I had a friend with the same problem too. And I have the same kind of aura, except I also seem to have an aura that gives electronics the most obscure and bizarre issues that don't affect their overall functionality, usually noises.

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turkishdelight234@reddit

Your friend’s case sounds like bad grounding. There is nothing is his body (even artificial) that would crash a computer.

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ilrosewood@reddit

I know this. But he didn’t even come near my computer. He literally stepped into my room and it did a BSOD and would not post until he left. This was 1999.

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Lake3ffect@reddit

Give her a thinkpad… can’t break that.

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Linux4ever_Leo@reddit

I can't get past the part where you said she's been using the same PC for five years. Doesn't your company upgrade PCs regularly? Maybe she fed you this story as a subtle way of asking for a newer computer.

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OgdruJahad@reddit

Printers:"Yeah ,it's her Aura that's making us not work. Hahaha hahahaha"

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Alternative_Log3012@reddit

I, too, will go to great lengths to get a Mac

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ColdHotgirl5@reddit

what? is she related to chuck from better call saul? cause wtf lol

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getsbetterlater@reddit

Had no idea this was so ubiquitous. Literally never met anyone else this stuff happened to. I’ve loved tech my whole life and people would bring their dead, dying, lame, and maimed devices/instances to me in hopes of a miracle. If it just so much as touches the hem of my cloak it seems to right itself. I’ve always equated it to how some people have a green thumb. Not sure what kind of thumb it would be though…

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bulvi616@reddit

Oh the BS people will try to pull to get others to adhere to their personal tech preferences (vs company standards that exist for a reason!). I smell that nonsense a mile away, I’m having none of it!

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Cthvlhv_94@reddit

You just encountered the average MAC User. They will also tell you that "everything" "just works", even the specific Software they need for their job that has never been Compiled to be run on a Mac in its existence.

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agentfaux@reddit

You know, regardless of if she's a complete loony, a little compassion goes a long way.

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D0nATr0N@reddit

Useless point to add to all this: Me & my dad can't wear mechanical watches - well, specifically the ones with quartz in them as we do cause them to cease up. Some weird bio-electric thing that actually does run in the family 🤷🏼‍♂️ However, we've never fried a monitor, PC or any other electric device that uses AC power - it is literally just something about the quartz mechanism in watches that causes them to cease up...and 100% not based on mood 🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️ If I had the power to force lightning PC's because I fell to the dark side then I'd need new laptops by 9:01am every, single, working day.

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Economy_Bus_2516@reddit

My ex-wife was like that, it was incredible to watch. As an electronics/computer guy I did more than my share of "Lets try this..." but sure enough, electronics died at an accelerated rate around her. But it only seemed like small electronics, she had her truck for years.

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santaclaws_@reddit

Ohhhh... this hurts.

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WWGHIAFTC@reddit (OP)

I'm actually a bit nervous that she might sabotage equipment to try and prove her point. If anything happens to her new laptop that she's getting, I'm tearing it apart to find water damage or see what got jammed into a USB port or whatever it might be.

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BigDowntownRobot@reddit

You shouldn't make this your issue. Think this through, and just pretend she isn't crazy for a moment, because whether she is or not isn't your problem. She thinks she has a medical condition that should give her an exception. That isn't your position to qualify that. Nor is it your job to approve it if she does or doesn't. Tell her, as it stands, she gets what everyone gets because it is not your job to make policy exceptions, is it your job to enforce policies. She willingly shared this information with you. You should not share her "medical" information with anyone else, especially other employees. You should submit a letter to either your direct report, or HR, or both, informing them she states she has a condition (which you won't go into) that she believes requires a Mac, and that a PC will fail because of her condition. Let them know you do not intend to provide her a Mac as it is against policy, and you have good reasons to not want to make policy exceptions because X and Y, it will take so many additional hours, doesn't support x and y, etc. And that she has been using the PC for 5 years which seems to show her medical condition is not damaging work hardware. Don't say it won't, can't, hasn't before, just that you can see it has not been an issue in the last 5 years with the company so you aren't sure why it's being brought up now. Do not go into detail on her medical condition, that is between her and you, and her and HR, but not you and HR. Tell her medical exemptions are handled by HR, and she will need to work it out with them. They can ask for medical proof, you cannot. Either they will say, give her the Mac, at which point you push back on \*policy\*, reiterate the equipment has not been damaged, and that it will cost the company, or you let them know you will only be able to provide her with x coverage if she has a Mac, and you give it her. In fact not demonstrating that she is a danger to IT equipment could be easily construed as negligence on her part, so now that she has told you she sort of has to get it addressed. Even though it's fantasy. Ultimately you need to CYA and just not get involved with what is going through her head.

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landwomble@reddit

Nicely put.

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Kinglink@reddit

> > You should submit a letter to either your direct report, or HR, or both, informing them she states she has a condition (which you won't go into) that she believes requires a Mac, and that a PC will fail because of her condition. Let them know you do not intend to provide her a Mac as it is against policy, and you have good reasons to not want to make policy exceptions because X and Y, it will take so many additional hours, doesn't support x and y, etc. You can state you are unaware of any such condition ever effecting systems, or existing, in your experience, but don't say she doesn't have a condition. This is an excellent point. Spot on, it's HR's job to deal with special medical requests, her sharing it with you could become a problem. If HR says she needs a Mac, it's on them, but it's not your job to diagnose her fake medical condition.

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BigDowntownRobot@reddit

Also, This way you can shut it down anonymously by advising HR and the user doesn't come back on you for it. You do have to support them after all. I doubt it would come to that anyway, since her position is a Mac is better against electrical shock, and that can't be substantiated. But if HR is of the opinion they don't want to risk it (doubtful as it's a delusional, but that shouldn't be your worry) you'll just be happy you didn't get involved in the decision making process and end up both disappointed, and with an angry user to support. I'm kind of surprised some people disagree with this because is just how I communicate with all end-users in general. I make assertions about IT stuff, I make vague allusions to the validity of literally everything else and just placate them until we get back on topic. I am god damned teflon when it comes to things being blamed on me that I didn't say or do because of it.

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Surefinewhatever1111@reddit

>She willingly shared this information with you. You should not share her "medical" information with anyone else, especially other employees. Being a witch is not a medical condition.

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Kinglink@reddit

You're right... It's a religious exempt.

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BigDowntownRobot@reddit

Heh. I'm confident you get how scare quotes work I'm sure so I don't need to explain the difference between "medical information" and '"medical" information' and this was just a joke. So hard to tell now a days though.

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SlimLacy@reddit

That seems like entertaining mental health issues more than might be healthy or warranted.

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BigDowntownRobot@reddit

That's the point. It's not up to IT to even consider mental health issues unless it's their IT staff burn out. It's up to HR to deal with it. If you decide on it, including telling her no, you'll have to deal with it. You don't entertain people in IT, you fix problems, and you point people to other departments for everything else.

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jbldotexe@reddit

This is the right answer

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TheDonutDaddy@reddit

For what endgame/benefit to you personally?

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santaclaws_@reddit

Definitely possible. Look, this woman has some sort of personality disorder. It's hard to tell what she's capable of. If I were you, I would mention this to your boss and maybe your bosses boss just to make sure *your* ass is covered.

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chameleonsEverywhere@reddit

Being into woo-woo beliefs is not indicative of a personality disorder. Gullible, foolish, sure - but not a diagnosable problem.

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santaclaws_@reddit

Debatable.

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andrew_joy@reddit

Tell her that asset tags work like tinfoil hats, they protect the device from whatever it is that tinfoil hats protect from. OR https://thezorb.com/products/zorb%E2%84%A2-cell-phone-emf-reduction-disc-flagship-product-39-95-1-disc They work right :D

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Perceptions-pk@reddit

Ah so we are dealing with a witch, here

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JazzlikeSurround6612@reddit

Users man.

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painefultruth76@reddit

![gif](giphy|l2JJv4AB0XcxA1fWw)

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grumpy_autist@reddit

Seriusly I met a woman at work who had a power like this. Literally every shit broke around her or was glitching. Once everyone at work had to fill a web form on one computer in the office, so we had a queue. It's her turn to sit at the chair, she fills the form, clicks save and - you guess it - 500 error with a full stack trace. We even double checked the form input - nothing odd was there. Just a mix of quantum physics and dark magic. Of course after she left the room the form was working fine. We tried to get her to QA department but she was not interested :(

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itajally@reddit

To spell Riddikulus the Boggarts of IT bugs into ladybugs solved my issues 😅

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oxycash@reddit

Real life Chuck

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Thunderous71@reddit

Im a technician, tech fears me as when people bring their broken items to me most of them magicly starts working again. It knows I'll rip its guts out if not.

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Clear-Okra-7351@reddit

To be honest I can relate, I go near stuff and it seems to be having a bigger temper tantrum than it was before they asked me to help lol

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mismanaged@reddit

For once, Sequential Art has a relevant comic! https://www.collectedcurios.com/sequentialart.php?s=434

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m1ndf3v3r@reddit

😂😂😂

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Aramyth@reddit

Sometimes we say the problem is between the chair and the keyboard. Placebo is a hell of a thing. So, it’s probably very real to her.

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mailed@reddit

this is why we drink

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Wyatt_LW@reddit

Look, it is real, change perspective. Her personal energy is her way to handle stuff and she possibly uses stuff wrong. I once cracked a phone screen with my personal energy too, by throwing it against a wall. (Yeah i was angry) ------ Mac on the other hand side forces you to certain limited actions when you use it, let's say that beeing restrictive and limited kinda makes it idiot-proof.

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bindermichi@reddit

So destroying company property on purpose to get more expensive equipment. Any word on this from HR?

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anfotero@reddit

Delusion is a common pastime.

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rainer_d@reddit

Tell her to get a job at an Apple Store. There, she can work with Macs all day.

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shinji257@reddit

Some people do seem to have an energy or aura that makes stuff stop working when they are present. I have a friend that used to be that way. Every time he was over stuff just didn't work right. It was only while they were there though. As soon as they left everything was good again.

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0RGASMIK@reddit

I mean I somewhat believe some people are just cursed to technology while others are blessed. Some of our users treat us like some sort of tech god they can pray to in order to fix issues. I have one user that calls and I know to let it ring for a minute because whatever issue they are experiencing usually goes away the second I pick up the phone. I know it’s probably just a temporary issue but she thinks I fixed it just by becoming aware of the issue.

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pizzacake15@reddit

>She can't wear watches because they stop working. Everything glitches out around her when she's angry or stressed she says. that's one way of saying she has a destructive trait. >I checked our inventory records and she's been using the same PC/Monitors and printer for over 5 years without issue. tell her she's cured from her curse.

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heliumneon@reddit

Get a generic spray bottle, don't put anything inside it, and just make spraying motions over the equipment. Tell her it's a protective spray that reverses the effects of negatively magnetic people.

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tc215487@reddit

I’ve had the same problem first recognized on the early 1970s. An electrician told me I must have a highly acidic system & he told me to carry a paper clip & touch metal before touching any electronics. Seemed to work. Years later I found out I do have a highly acidic system & everything I’ve tried to lower my ph hasn’t worked. I’ve learned to not wear synthetic fibers or leather soled shoes. Still, however, watch batteries drain quickly & mobile phones don’t hold charges as long as the manufacturer says it should.

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ScreamOfVengeance@reddit

Get her a crystal energy sticker for her monitor . Tell her it also stops 5G.

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tecrogue@reddit

It's interesting how it can go sometimes. My mom has been known to blow brand new light bulbs before and has to have a winding or self winding watch since if she had a battery powered one she would drain new watch batteries in ~72 hours. She also always had the weirdest issues with her computer, like back before most computers were always online, (or online at all for that matter) the number of times I would see her typing something and then the cursor would randomly move to a different area in the document, selecting text or not.. or just outright wrong inputs would go through... It was what had me decide that I didn't want to work desktop support haha

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bucketman1986@reddit

I know it sounds dumb but I've felt for years that one of my best friends must just emit some kind of low level magnetic field because every electronic he spends time around just dies so quickly

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TeaKingMac@reddit

My first enterprise job I worked with a creative who went through 3 macbooks in as many months. No physical damage, no obvious weirdness. Her spot just got unusable slow after a few weeks. She also got stuck in the elevators multiple times a year. I don't remember what we did, it was over a decade ago. But I don't just automatically discount these things anymore.

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Cupspac@reddit

Good job not discriminating, neurodivergent people deserve the same respect as anyone else, especially if they're not causing any harm. It's always good to practice harmony and humanism, so props for not propagating adversity.

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sanbaba@reddit

You laugh but I know a guy who sort of spasms at a high rate - maybe fidgets is a better description, but it is entirely involuntary. He breaks shit all the time, if he's holding a ballpoint it will explode from him whipping it around. Smart guy, slightly defective body.

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Ratfor@reddit

Trust them when they tell you this. Chances are they wear clothing that causes a lot of static buildup.

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Spiritual_Story_6601@reddit

I worked in an electronics store and a guy came in said he had to buy ANOTHER mouse cuz he fries electronics often with his energy. I'm glad I don't have this lol. I have the reverse, I fix anything I touch. Wish I could profit off of it <\3.

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WhinyWeeny@reddit

I'm just surprised the government hasn't abducted her to research the application of her aura-energies in cyber warfare.

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ascii122@reddit

ever had one that said they were allergic to WIFI?

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blinkrm@reddit

Hi. I have had an issue with this my whole life. I just try to not turn on too many lights in the house and would rather just use lamps because those are easier to change out the light bulbs than having to change out a light bulb up high like the ceiling. I also leave things on and put them on timers so that they turn on without me having to flip the switch. We first noticed this as a kid maybe around 9, before puberty. My mom was like ok you need to just stop touching the switches. I shock people easily and just carry a lot of static electricity. As an adult I am now barefoot most of the time and that seems to have helped the charges. Clothing didn’t seem to make a change and I was cognizant about not dragging my feet on the carpet. Anyways, I just have a lot of energy. I never talk about it. But learned to live with it. Oh and with laptops I try to not touch it and just work off key boards and mouses that are WiFi linked and handle the laptop itself very infrequently.

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Bedlemkrd@reddit

She could legitimately have a chemistry that drains watch batteries abnormally fast through the back plate, that has been known to happen and then that caused her to develop all those other concerns kind of like a superstition. If you don't believe that people develop tech superstitions watch an old sysadmin go to settings etc., when adding a server to a domain....if he's been around long enough he's developed what amounts to a way to do it so it won't mess up.....because one time long ago it did doing it a quicker way. The tech has changed but this way still works and now it's a superstition that he wants to do it this way even if it's 3 minutes longer.

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gwammz@reddit

Had one with "bioenergy in his hands", and that bioenergy was - apparently - responsible for the disk in his laptop frying out. To cement his case, he even demonstrated how his hand rests right above the hdd as he was typing away on his laptop. I could not argue with that kind of logic, and ordered him a new laptop. Told him this one was more expensive because its internal components were insulated against bioenergy. He was super happy with the extra care I took, and the fact I didn't doubt or belittle his bioenergy hands. All in all, the guy was more sane and polite than that one left-handed chick who used the mouse with her right hand, but had it backwards. So the buttons were under her palm. Almost called an exorcist on her dumb ass.

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Scolias@reddit

Why give in to her delusion? Just be honest and tell her that's not a real thing.

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da_apz@reddit

I had one who always insisted on rotating power plugs 180 degrees so they'd align better with some energy she perceived. There was no way to talk sense into her, but I was amused how I could see which way the plugs were in reality and she did not line live and neutral the same way in all of them.

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eblade23@reddit

She sounds like your average Trump supporter.

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basylica@reddit

I mean, my sister would boot up her laptop once a week to check facebook. My dad is old univac guy and ive been in IT for ermm… 26yrs now. She literally would kill laptops and TVs REGULARLY and scouts honor barely uses them. Meanwhile im like “how can i blow up this electronic” and its still working decades later. Im convinced she has something wrong with her. Because she really doesnt even use the damn things… sometimes we can fix her stuff, but often its DOA dead. So bizarre!

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Naanad@reddit

I wish! This is actually true in my case. I got effectual at troubleshooting and fixing my own tech because I couldn’t afford to have others fix it for me. When I worked at John Deere, I was rebuilding my OS about every 2-4 weeks until we installed an SSD , after that it was every 6-8 weeks. Now, I work at a tech company helping others setup their products. Since I no longer work in deployment, I have two laptops deployed because I tend to take out my machine so hard it takes weeks to resolve whatever malady is occurring. Most frequently it’s conflicts with email being unable to handle my mail volume and not crash. (This is more a outlook issue then a me issue) Ultimately, I can say as fact, I went through 16 phones in 3 months back in 2009 because I kept finding memory leaks in applications. I was essentially the person who discovered the one in the Verizon messaging app (where you could log into MSN, yahoo, aol, and other chats) that was at root level and even if it was factory reset it perpetuated. I just push hardware to its limits. Not intentionally, it just happened. For example, I just am a fast enough typer and power user that I get asked a LOT if I’m a machine myself. The longest I’ve ever had anything (other than a watch) last was about 11 months. The old Casio watches you could store phone numbers in, died after 6 months. Th LCD stopped working. Phones. Laptops. Desktops. Most tech just doesn’t like me. Honestly you said 4-5 years and my only thought is “I’m jealous!”

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Illusion_Jolted@reddit

Lol no freaking way! I know someone who had told me the same exact thing. Ima dm you, curious to find if it’s the same person.

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Mikeimus-Prime@reddit

My best friend and I joke that he's Jubilee because he's always having weird computer issues, or crashes and bugs in games. Literally built him systems identical to mine and always has something happening. So like, I don't believe this but I also kinda do believe this.

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DrNukenstein@reddit

Same. Built two identical PCs for me and my brother. Same everything in both. Had to replace his main HDD 4 times in the first 6 months. I took them apart to see (not like I could do anything) on the first one the top disc had a massive gouge in it because something fell off while the platters were spinning. A platter in the second one shattered. For the third, the read arm just decided to check out. 4th one was fine. Then he installed Skyrim, and Lydia turned out to be a sentient AI. Couple of hilarious tales from that experience.

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grandiose_thunder@reddit

I guess too much movement can cause static buildup? As an anxious, fidgety teen a killed many motherboards.

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Sea-horse-in-trees@reddit

That type of energy doesn’t affect electronics, but does affect horses and other animals. Get really excited or anxious inside, but don’t wave your arms or yell or anything like that, and see what happens next time you’re around an animal. Or be very calm and focused on the present and don’t think about the rest of your day/week and sigh and relax and see what the animal does. It’s really interesting

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cellSlug@reddit

You should issue the employee an rfc2321 compliant RITA. Guaranteed to balance the threads of chaos energy! https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc2321

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missingMBR@reddit

Once had a user who had stuck a post-it note over where webcams are now on laptops (this was before video conferencing). I asked her why. She said that it stopped the radiation from the laptop

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Meterman@reddit

Don't dismiss it off hand, but not sure about apple being better though. After my uncle recovered from severe Guillain-Barré that nearly killed him, be was unable to use any touch screens, they would go completely crazy when he got close. Desktop and laptop computers would crash if he touched them. A total wizard.

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KoalaOfTheApocalypse@reddit

Idk about "Macs are more durable" or more resistant to that, but I have seen the phenomenon in person. Back in the 90s, at the computer shop I worked at, we built this customer a top of the line, best everything gaming computer. A week or so later, he calls and says it's locking up. We had him bring it back to the shop for diagnosis, but we couldn't reproduce the issue. He took it back home and called a few days later with the same issue and we told him to bring it back. This went on for a couple of more weeks, with us having swapped out every major component even though we could still not reproduce the issue. Finally, I told him to bring it back one more time. I spent the entire day just gaming and trying to tax the computer as hard as I could. I still couldn't reproduce the issue and called him to come show me exactly what he was doing when it would freeze up. I was playing a video game on it when he arrived at the store. He walked in the front door and I waved him into the back area. The split second his foot crossed the threshold of the door to the tech area, the damn computer froze up. We couldn't believe it. I blurted out "man, do you work with utility lines or something?" He laughed and said no. We ended up refunding him for the computer that ran absolutely perfect when he was not in the room. I've always wished I could have experimented with him more, but the boss just wanted to cut the losses while the customer was still not super pissed off.

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name548@reddit

Every time I get up from my chair at work there's an electrostatic discharge and my monitors black out for a second and then I get shocked by the next metal object I touch. Doesnt happen to anyone else and we all have the same chairs. Even with that all said, I can still confirm that employee is out of her mind delusional.

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gnimsh@reddit

But my presence makes it impossible for the end user to reproduce issues. Explain that.

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DrNukenstein@reddit

I ran a machine that wouldn’t fault out if the maintenance guy was watching it. As soon as he got about 20 feet away, it faulted out. We tested it. 18.5 feet was the limit. One step backwards and it faulted out. He was nowhere near anything electrical. 409 squirted anywhere on any part of the machine would also work. We’re talking about solid steel non-mechanical parts of it, like the foundation, the body of it, or the frame. Also had a young woman who had to sneak past the same machine or it would stop if it could “see” her. The joint was haunted. Or they were. I used to disrupt clear radio signals for no valid reason. Alternatively, I could tune in a fuzzy radio or tv by getting near it.

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CelsoSC@reddit

The whole IT Department when passes by the server room: ![gif](giphy|oHCEd2yG6Tyr6|downsized)

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seetheare@reddit

lol - i'll tell you one thing....my mother-in-law had a thing like this. call her over to the computer to see something and the damn thing would freeze, try to sit at the keyboard to show her the good ol' web and computer acted up. can't recall exactly what would happen but her and computers would just not work well. it was even a running joke in the family. she eventually got into the smart phone world and she's an ace now on her android with no issues...but still they keep her away from a computer!

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Rockleg@reddit

[Quantum bogodynamics](cd.textfiles.com/roadsider2/Complete%20Books/The%20Jargon%20File/JARGON_Q/QUANTBOG.HTML) is a well-established phenomenon and has been observable *in vivo* for decades.

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DrNukenstein@reddit

Laugh and reassure her it’s not her “personal energy, whatever that’s supposed to be, it’s willful negligence, operator error, and the abrasive attitude.”

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Great-University-956@reddit

I have 100% seen people destroy electronics that work normally for others. One person in particular was especially good ad delivering shocks. I guess their skin was slightly more or less conductive than average, so they were constantly frying delicate electronics. We gave them a anti-static wrist strap. I don't know if it helped, but I don't recall them ever coming back in. Another very common instance of this was smokers. If you smoke near your PC you're slowly killing it.

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IsilZha@reddit

Do you think my lucky Cobalt-60 charm will help? I always carry it with me since I found it in the dirt 40 minutes ago.

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felixgolden@reddit

I don't miss the days of opening up a smoker's computer to find goopy coating of tar and dust over everything and running down the side panels. And they didn't even flinch when I told them to imagine how bad their lungs were if this what was happening to the computer.

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robbzilla@reddit

I had one that was also filled with cobwebs. The machine had to be at least a decade old, and I'm pretty sure I got a contact nicotine buzz cleaning that out.

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Jeremy_Zaretski@reddit

But, but lungs self-clean! Well.... at least they do until the cilia are paralyzed and the alveoli are clogged...

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cyclotech@reddit

I have to use an anti-static wrist strap. Doesn't matter what kind of shoes I wear I deliver shocks to people all the time. Drive-thru window? Shock them when handing my card to them almost everytime

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joule_thief@reddit

[You should consider putting a grounding strap on your car.](https://www.amazon.com/Static-Strip-Ground-Vehicle-Driving/dp/B08CXSRR5Z)

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PlaguedByUnderwear@reddit

Oh shoot. I used to be like that too. Now I'm running through all 6 of my memories trying to think when it stopped.

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Pauley0@reddit

I always tell smokers "The smoke kills computers and electronics much faster than it kills humans." I didn't even mention the Magic Smoke™.

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Cyfun06@reddit

The Men Who Stare At Goats was inspired by the true story of US Army Intelligence officer Lyn Buchanan crashing a $14 million computer system with his psychic abilities. As a scientist I've always been skeptical, but there is an insane amount of scientific evidence to support such claims. It's just a bitch to reproduce in a lab environment.

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ZaBardo4@reddit

Clearly she is a psyker and the omnisiah does not like her vibes.

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x-Mowens-x@reddit

I get joy out of telling people "Sorry, windows PCs are all this company provides."

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Wolfram_And_Hart@reddit

Believe her.

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k9gardner@reddit

There was a guy who worked in my office who literally had that energy with any electronic devices he used. Desktop computers, phones, laptops. Obviously it's not something we want to believe, but I saw it enough times to know it happened. And there's a guy there now who also has every software problem imaginable, generally glitches with email and other things that don't happen to anyone else. We have had to create significant workarounds to deal with his unexplained problems. And by unexplained, I mean, not by me (an IT veteran), not by our outside IT service providers (for the things I can't solve or don't have time to work on), and not by the second consultant we brought in to resolve the situation. We only find ways around it, we have not actually solved it or fixed it. So yeah. I believe her.

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gossipninja@reddit

I unironically believe this. Our body's have electrical signals and give off emf and thermal radiation. This is typically a non issue but it stands to reason that someone could have emf that causes a problem like a resonant frequency type of deal or how a fan can cause a light to flicker. Conversely some people would then have "good" emf and be good with equipment (which is likely just the absence of "bad" emf). I've always seen this in a similar vein as "if you assume you will have a good day, you have a good day (because you focus on and recognize the good and are pleasant which in turn makes others pleasant) however of you wake up and assume a bad day you have a bad day (because you focus on the bad and make others react unpleasantly) Which is a long way of saying a it is kind of a karmic self fulfilling prophecy

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Nietechz@reddit

I feel stupid when I remember in an ex job a c-level very top, We gave him 2 different laptops, Dell and Lenovo, both FAILED. He bought a cheap Inspiron, works perfectly fine. Some one in the team says it's because he "energy". I don't care as long as it works but very unusual.

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jleahul@reddit

I don't know about Win vs Mac, but I've definitely had some users who must be emitting low levels of gamma radiation and are causing bit flips, because the weird issues that affect ONLY them had no other explanation that I could determine after hours of troubleshooting.

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Beegkitty@reddit

My grandmother had 17 - yes seventeen - pacemakers over the years. Why? Because her body chemistry burned out batteries. Every watch - same thing. There are people that burn out electronics. There are some that are just clueless. It could be either.

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D0nMattS0m2@reddit

I would probably marry that lady and see if anything changes in the next 10-15 years.

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LongStoryShrt@reddit

These are the people who think vaccines cause autism/cancer/sleepiness/etc.

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Aggressive-Ad-2315@reddit

I'd print some stickers and put them on her PC https://preview.redd.it/k7k3egtjvvpd1.jpeg?width=1792&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=51a9dddaeecdc4c4a604611a2ef9e73451f450c3

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Warsum@reddit

I’m not gonna say they are wrong. But my co worker has that IT mojo. We are both service provider network engineers and I swear to god I can configure a router and commit it and somehow the RP syncing will cause an RP to fail for me. He could walk by do the same thing and it’s fine.

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CloudyTreeBay@reddit

In highschool I had a friend with the same energy. One time, this energy made her fold a piece of printer paper and shove into the dvd drive

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SilasDG@reddit

I had a coworker who seemed to naturally generate static electricity. It didn't matter what shoes she wore, if she wore grounding straps, if she grounded herself before entering working spaces. Somehow she was always statically charged and the moment she got near a board would zap it.

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ryver@reddit

So. You’re going to think I’m crazy and I can’t vouch for the validity of this lady by any means, but I’ve met someone who killed equipment. When I was working at a university in audio and video editing we had a student that was always having problems. She was super sweet but nothing worked for her. I would sit in the studio and watch her work and switches wouldn’t respond for her but they would me. I watched her do literally everything right and things just wouldn’t work. It was the damndest thing I’ve ever seen. She told me she has killed watches all her life but she thought it was just sweat or something. We ended up having so many issues she changed majors. Now your average pc seemed to be ok around her but any equipment that was more delicate would just die. I still can’t explain it but I had multiple witnesses who all were just as confused as I was. I hope she’s doing well she was a lovely, but confounding, young lady. Lol.

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l0st1nP4r4d1ce@reddit

And my personal energy allows users to enter their password correctly 100% of the time I observe them.

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Inode1@reddit

While I feel bad for her believing this I'd also just hand her a esd wrist strap and tell her to pickup her feet instead of shuffling a long. I have a similar case now, I explained to her that her shuffling along vs stepping property would probably be better for her back, she believes me and magically no more static electricity problems

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tsavong117@reddit

50/50 on this one. There are some people whos specific biochemistry will drain wristwatch (and some metal framed laptops) batteries absurdly quickly. My mom, for example, goes through about a battery every 2 months on any watch she owns, regardless of anything else. If someone else wears it the battery can last for nearly a year. So it *could* be based on actual reality plus hippie parents. Realistically it's almost certainly fixed by giving her some special green crystals (make sure they still have some other rock embedded in them so they seem more natural), tell her your younger sister charged these in the full moon or something, and hand them to her. Magically everything will be fixed, and you'll start to wonder if there isn't something to these rocks after all.

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robbzilla@reddit

A comfort animal is next on her agenda...

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zeeblefritz@reddit

Meanwhile I am being told that I should get a Mac over a Linux machine because Office suite won't work on Linux and I will have to use O365 online. I am a Linux admin and I am being urged to not use Linux. I'm giving in because I would rather spend my time configuring the servers instead of my laptop but the irony is still there.

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hotfistdotcom@reddit

"I'm sorry but my personal religion requires I be candid at all times and not hold things in. What you believe is insane and toxic and damaging and I cannot work with you for both our sake."

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zeeblefritz@reddit

Meanwhile I am being told that I should get a Mac over a Linux machine because the government locks down too much stuff so using Linux would make my job harder. I am a Linux/HPC admin. go figure.

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Face_Scared@reddit

My aunt and uncle swear up and down that any electronic device my aunt uses too much breaks because of her “energy”. They are both drug addicts that will do ANY drug they can get their hands on. You may want to drug test this employee.

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ghostgurlboo@reddit

I mean, relying on my IT mana is how I get through my day, personally.

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LightBeerIsAwful@reddit

I’ve worked for people who seemed to innately cause computers to not work well.

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douganater@reddit

Get her and ESD wrist strap to ground her

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dhettinger@reddit

My personal foot has an energy that ruins asses.

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psykezzz@reddit

Honestly, my mother can not have a watch last more than 6 months without it stopping working. Not sure I buy that it extends to laptops etc though

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aboyandhismsp@reddit

Tonight in my evening prayers, I’m going to pray one of our clients one day hires an employee like this (we’re an MSP). It will be fun. When the morning system starts popping up messages like “oh, that feels good, touch me again, it’s like fuel for me” or “* see what you did there; trying to electrocute me. Skynet dislikes” or perhaps “resistance is futile, signed: The Borg”.

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Tap-Dat-Ash@reddit

Classic PEBKAC

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Lopsided_Fan_9150@reddit

I had to work with a young dude like this once. Was Help Desk for a local MSP. One of our clients was like a halfway/rehabilitation type deal. (Was a non-proft, and honestly, it's a good program. I respect what they are doing full heartedly!!) Pretty much. They'd give the local homeless shelter/food/ signed up for health benefits. They also helped them find employment. Most of their staff were actually previous members of the program. Dude had it rough growing up(*mildly speaking*) and was diagnosed paranoid schizo. He was in the program and doing the internship thing to become a real employee there. For the most part. He'd pass as just a normal dude. I honestly had no idea for quite a while... He'd start saying random off the wall stuff. At first I didn't think much of it Eventually tho.... it became obvious.. As long as his delusions weren't effecting my work. I would kind of just play along with it.. just "oh man!"/smiling/knodding....etc He ended up going off the deep end a bit. Submitting tickets about aliens and the government doing tests on him(along the lines("plz verify my monitors refresh rate, i think the feds are using it to train me!")..... ^Always my favorite tickets 🤣 The tragic end tho...... He became the reason all users can no longer submit tickets themselves and have to go thru the manager now 🤣🤣🤣 This was like.... 6-7 years ago... He still works there and seems to be doing fairly well 🙂

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Shadeflayer@reddit

I’ve seen this once and heard of it a few times. It’s kinda freaky when it happens. Some truth to it I suspect…

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largos7289@reddit

LOL i don't know the more i work around computers the more I'm convinced they have personalities.

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igloofu@reddit

Look at Henrietta Dresden over here. Careful OP, she's probably a powerful witch.

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Nick_W1@reddit

It’s her magnetic personality.

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StraightAct4448@reddit

I dunno, I've known people like that lol. Just the weirdest fucking problems with any computer they use. I'm the opposite, when I'm called over to fix something, it almost immediately starts working again.

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deedledeedledav@reddit

I have problems with Point of Sale devices a lot. When I’m around the people checking me out always have issues. It’s pretty funny, like clockwork I step back and say it’s usually me, give it a few seconds. Then I talk about how I worked at a nuclear facility and blah blah blah, then it starts working and the lie REALLY sets in and they start thinking it’s real. Pretty sure my joke has turned into a “magic trick” with how often I do it. I know it’s not me, it’s just that nothing works as it should and takes longer than we want. Just typically lines up well.

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WhelpStupidUserName@reddit

Hand her a pen and paper. Too bad Apple doesn’t hand those stickers out anymore. Could put it on her iNotepad

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scorpdragon76@reddit

I've been in IT since 96 and I swear there are some people with some kind of bioelectric field (or something) that does negatively affect electronics. Shit just doesn't work well for some people.

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h3dwig0wl1974@reddit

Idiocracy really was a documentary.

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EmperorGeek@reddit

Best friend in college had acidic sweat, to the point he would destroy watches just by wearing them. The backs would corrode.

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5141121@reddit

We joke that my stepdad has a "technology disruption field" to make him feel better about his technological incompetence. I feel bad for people who legit think this. But honestly, I don't think this girl does. She probably has just bought in to Apple's marketing and is doing whatever she can to procure the 'premium' laptop.

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themindofmonster@reddit

She Better Call Saul.

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DeepRoot@reddit

Hey, yo... those people exist. Just like there are natural "fixers", like many here, there are also natural "breakers" and they do just that. No, I have no proof, just experience.

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Nouseriously@reddit

"I believe in you! My friend, you are rhe CHOSEN ONE who will break your family's curse"

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Zamboni4201@reddit

Sounds like an X-Files episode.

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AmSoDoneWithThisShit@reddit

My mother in law has that. Xerox machines will suicide as she walks by...

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bubbaganoush79@reddit

I had a portable mp3 player back in the day when those were a thing. I listened to it constantly through my headphones. Anyway, there was a guy at work who sat directly behind me. When he would sit down in his office chair, my mp3 player would just power off. I swear to God. We could force the failure. Other people sitting down in his chair did not cause the failure. It was just him. I don't remember if we swapped it his chair with another one. It was a long time ago. My theory is it was the AUX cable picking up some kind of EMF and running current into the player to cause the failure but we never figured out the actual root cause.

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andrewsmd87@reddit

Is their name Harry Dresden

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Greed_Sucks@reddit

Men of science believed in the Pauli effect and wouldn’t let Wolfgang Pauli around the lab equipment.

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orion3311@reddit

Some day ill do my experiment of just holding up a metal coat hanger and asking the user if the problem solved itself.

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computerknow@reddit

Well this is a new one I’ve never seen or heard before. I had to send to this my team today. Thank you for the morale boost.

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itdumbass@reddit

Ever known anyone who just couldn't wear a watch? I have. Not so sure about the new digital watches, but back in the days when watches had gears and mechanical guts, they would just stop when worn by certain folks. Never mattered the brand or the cost, any watch would simply quit on their wrists. That same energy is looking for a place to go now that no one wears 'clock movements' on their arms anymore.

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ItsWhomToYou@reddit

You should introduce her to this one I know who calls things “(her name) Proof” and says that her kids call her “Solar Power”

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GhostDan@reddit

I didn't believe this.. until I saw it in person. When I was much younger I had a friend who had this similar issue. We worked together at a drug store with a one hour photo lab. EVERY SINGLE TIME he walked by that lab the machine threw a complete hissy fit. If he wasn't on shift? Smooth sailing. If he happened not to walk that direction? Right as rain. He so much as looked in the direction of that machine, and random characters would show up on screen, and it'd start smoking.

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sync-centre@reddit

If our aura can just fix devices, other peoples aura can just break them as well.

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sgt_rock_wall@reddit

Oh my gawd. Are you really putting our private conversation on the Internet?

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Kinglink@reddit

"Don't you know about IT nerd-client confidentiality.. "

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sgt_rock_wall@reddit

![gif](giphy|AlEp8Fj45KPLO)

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WWGHIAFTC@reddit (OP)

![gif](giphy|SwfR3dk0WXw8c2Z4bi|downsized)

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mdhardeman@reddit

So this concept is very much as real as equipment that just behaves when one of us looks sideways at it. She may not actually be one of the afflicted, but they exist and even their damned chip-card credit cards need frequent replacement.

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Cautious-Buy-2612@reddit

Trees get out of my way when I’m walking through the forest. It has to do with my chakra

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NibblesMcGiblet@reddit

Believe it or not my uncle couldn't wear watches because they'd stop working. Found out about 30 years later it was because he had radon poisoning and he and all of my aunts and uncles in his family died of non small cell lung cancer as a result, except like two of them. Apparently the radon in his body was causing it. Their entire development was razed and covered in fill. It was the shale or something like that causing it.

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AStrandedSailor@reddit

Ah Ha. Finally a use for Power Bands (as worn by President Clinton), they "resonate with and respond to the natural energy field of the body" . [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power\_Balance?useskin=vector](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_Balance?useskin=vector)

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technobrendo@reddit

She wouldn't happen to be married to a guy named Chuck, would she?

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Dry_Inspection_4583@reddit

That's a thing. I can turn on led lights by holding them, my dad cannot wear a watch for this reason. However to go from that to "i need an apple" is a bit of a stretch

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taemyks@reddit

Fellow sysadmin - HID lamps hate me. Like I turn off street lights. But that's it. Usually technology starts working in my proximity

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UrgentSiesta@reddit

I will say that I've had users who legit had nothing but weekly problems on PC go to Mac and I basically never heard from them again. And these are people who only want to get stuff done. They didn't care as long as they could work. Those are fewer and fewer nowadays, esp if they're running quality hardware, but hey - it happened.

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Stryker1-1@reddit

See my experience has been the exact opposite. The user insist they need a Mac. They whine and complain for months about how they can't get anything done because they need a Mac. Then when they finally get a Mac they bitch and complain about how they can't figure this out or they can't run this special piece of windows only software

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UrgentSiesta@reddit

Oh, I completely believe you and have seen the same thing. Or "professional" graphic artists who create such craptastic files that they crush even the most powerful workstation - regardless of OS

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countsachot@reddit

Do you work with my wife?

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turkishdelight234@reddit

So everything breaks around her, but she’s been using the same PC for five years? Me thinks this “breaking” is software problems

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wiseleo@reddit

Put her into a cage. A Faraday cage.

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Blueberry314E-2@reddit

Yes I literally had a brand new staff member tell me he had an electromagnetic auro that caused computers to break around him. He said he went through four computers a year at his old job. The computer he was assigned was admittedly older but still worked 100%. I told him he could only have a new one once he could make the current one work for him.

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fencepost_ajm@reddit

Static discharge from chair, wheels, floor mat, shoes, clothing choices? That kind of thing can absolutely be an issue.

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dat510geek@reddit

Queue Morpheus in the matrix "what if I told you" sorry but what a crock of shizenhowzen to get what she wants. If it was real, she'd request to work in a far day cage by request of a doctor sign off. Maybe put a po in for a farday cage or start building a pretend one around her desk

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One_Economist_3761@reddit

Give her a crystal and tell her it’s a talisman that creates an energy shield around her PC that will protect it. Tell her it’s 1000’s of years old.

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daswede420@reddit

Better Call Saul's brother

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nycola@reddit

So I would be laughing at this but I absolutely had an ex-company owner I believed this to be true. We bought all of his hardware in 2's or 3'x because it would break every single time. Monitors, laptops, phones, tablets, printers, just stopped working in his general vicinity in about 20% of the time they would for normal users, sometimes less. It was the most batshit crazy thing I had ever experienced and I still think about him some 15+ years later to wonder how much money he's costing his current IT people in electronics.

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demonknightdk@reddit

I used to work with a woman who had a similar story, I didn't believe her till I saw it with my own eyes. This was at a retail store, back in the early 2000's, we had wireless label printers for our hand scanners, they would simply not work in her hands. I stood next to her and watched her press the print button. It errored out, she stood back 10 feet, I pressed print it worked. Did this 5 times in a row to make sure it wasnt a fluke. She had to use a cable to connect the printer to the hand scanner.

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BoobsThatArePooping@reddit

I like to agree with these people and tell them they are most likely being pursued by a tech poltergeist.

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SoundasBreakerius@reddit

Oh shit, I'd use inventory records as second coming of Jesus, "you just look at that, Carol, that monitor you've been using: it worked for 5 years - you're luck have been turning!" "Hey, Carol, have you've noticed how long that printer have been working without issues?" "Well, it turns out if we equip you with oldest stuff we have - it out aura's your aura, so here's a mouse with a ball inside and PS2 keyboard. One more word and I'll find a CRT monitor."

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moltari@reddit

So, i'm not seeing this as a top rated or mentioned comment so i'll throw in my two cents. the vast majority of humanity has an electromagnetic field that's what you would call "normal" and electronics work just fine for them. but there's a small subset of the population whose EM fields are actually not the same as most everyone else. they're the kind of people that can't wear watches without them dying in 1-3 days on them. My wife is one such person. this affects her in many ways. for example, she's had to replace my chromecast twice just by being near it and it giving up the ghost. she cannot wear a mechanical watch. She gets demonstrably worse wifi reception when holding electronics vs. me holding the same electronics. her batteries in her smartwatch, phone, tablet, and laptop all die significantly faster if she's the one using it, etc. etc. this is a real, verifiable, thing.

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maebyfunke980@reddit

Shut the front door. I just thought I was REALLY unlucky. Who blows out an electric circuit by plugging in a surge protector? Me. It’s me. So you’re saying that it’s actually me and not just a lifelong series of bad luck?

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moltari@reddit

from what i've seen and experienced in the world, yes! There are studies that disprove or prove this, so it's not exactly conclusive. they say things like "the EM Field produced by your smart watch cannot cause x symptoms" but swapping from a smart watch to a mechanical watch makes the symptoms go away for some fun times.

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SurprisedMushroom@reddit

I work.in I.T. and my mom can't wear watches with a battery as it will die within a week. I've seen it firsthand. She wears windup watches only. That being said she has no issues with her laptop and ipad. I wouldn't have believed it of I hadn't seen it. Some people can drain batteries.

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OddWriter7199@reddit

The watch batteries part, can believe. Used to kill one every three months then started buying solar ones, those are working fine for a few years now.

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thisbenzenering@reddit

I did 1-800 support for company that would take contracts for products and provide the techs and stuff. It was a good gig and I was good at being flexible and efficient. So I got put on a lot of different products. But there's this one call I will never forget. This lady calls and once I have confirmed her contact details, she asks me to wait. I'm wondering WTF like this is a first. Almost a minute goes by and then I hear her pick up the receiver and i shit you not she said > Sorry, I had to get some raw chicken to sit next to us so it'll absorb the electromagnetic waves my computer and the phone are generating. I have mentally ill people in my family and it was one one those moments, so I kinda ignored it and just said OK and then resumed the troubleshooting. I fixed whatever it was and she was thankful and ended the call normally. Everything was pretty normal except the beginning. Later that week she called back and told the tech she talked to that the ghost head that follows her around likes us because we are so nice to the lady. Nobody believed my retelling until the other guy got a call from her too! Funny enough, it was a Mac laptop she was using! And this would have been before the Intel CPU so like os7.x days.

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greatrudini@reddit

Ask if she has any time pieces. If she set her watch does it start running slow or fast at an abnormal rate?

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Nick85er@reddit

User: *turns off print management software* User: WHY CANT PRINT

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CursedWereOwl@reddit

She just needs to be nice and give them pets and encouragement

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rat4204@reddit

I've heard this before. Idk what to make of it. Lol

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garcia3005@reddit

Man, I need to use this at work and see where it gets me

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Masterflitzer@reddit

i could say the opposite, every time family/friends come to me because of technical problems it starts working for some reason i'm not superstitious, so i just laugh and write it off as a skill issue (in a nice way)

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Raisin_Gatorade@reddit

I actually have seen this with two people. One of them would drain batteries. I knew that it was happening because he was a fill in for others, and the first day he would fill in, all of a sudden the device battery would go dead. (This device would give out a series of beeps when the battery was low - I could hear the beeps over the phone when he called) He told me he could not wear a watch and could not use a cordless phone at home (This was back in the day when people had landlines still). We used to joke about him staying away from the server room. And we actually weren't joking... Another employee who was a salesman was unable to wear a watch because of the same kinds of issues. Technically I never saw the issue with the second person but he heard me speaking of the first person's issue and told me he had the same problem. I talked with our software company about it once and they had heard of it as well.

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maebyfunke980@reddit

I blew out the entire electrical circuit in my office once…by plugging in a surge protector. That’s just one example but I have bad luck with electricity in general. I have replaced quite a few micro fuses in my vehicle. I seem to go through the lightbulbs that are supposed to last for many years in a matter of months. I actually fix a lot of stuff around my house (thanks YT), but I don’t ever, NEVER EVER touch anything electrical. The closest I got was installing Ring doorbells and I bought the kind that aren’t hardwired 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m sure all of the other instances over the course of my life were just outliers and bad luck, but why test it?

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weinermcdingbutt@reddit

Did you tell her this is real life

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hardrockclassic@reddit

I have seen this happen in real life. Back in the 1980s, I was doing field service for computer terminals with built in modems, keyboards and printers (no screens). Two people worked in the same office using identical terminals. One person's failed over and over. The other person's never failed. Had them swap machines. The failures stayed with the same person, with either machine. This person always wore silk and wool. The static charge zapping from their fingertips would croak the (poorly engineered) machine.

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MithandirsGhost@reddit

It is the Pauli effect. I have a coworker with the anti-I.T. aura. Equipment fails anytime he is near. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pauli_effect?

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farmeunit@reddit

I have heard of students making devices malfunction. Techs watching them to see what they are doing, and they just malfunction. Not often but it happens.

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peacefinder@reddit

I can’t explain it, but a few users just seem to be cursed. It’s weird.

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injury@reddit

Oh what a shame. A Mac you say? Heavens no we can't take that financial risk, let me dig in my dungeon I'm sure I can find you something to use that the company would be glad to be rid of sure your Magneto super powers destroy.

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speakeasyboy@reddit

https://xkcd.com/2083/

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WWGHIAFTC@reddit (OP)

lol, SOLVED!

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TravellingBeard@reddit

Did she just confess to being a witch?

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ARLibertarian@reddit

Does she weigh more than a duck? Has he tried throwing her in a pond?

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ARLibertarian@reddit

Scream, grab your chest, and yell "my pacemaker!"

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wild-hectare@reddit

let her know the switch for new kit is scheduled for next Tuesday night, call on Wednesday morning to confirm everything is working better

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Ok_Size1748@reddit

She is a blank for the Omnissiah. Heresy!!!

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WrongEinstein@reddit

I can change a radio station on 1970's era car and portable radios by reaching near them.

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PolarisX@reddit

I've heard this crap before too. They just beat the shit out of everything they own and need to blame it on something.

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lordkiwi@reddit

Well I work with a guy who's electronics die all the time. I tell him to wear a grounding strip all the time. All metal construction like apple of Microsoft surfaces might survive longer.

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ZombieJesus9001@reddit

Ok so as a sysadm this is time to let your BOFH energy emerge. TASKKILL /IM svchost.exe /F Duh

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falcrist2@reddit

That's called Electrostatic Discharge (ESD). Tell her to ground herself before she touches any PCB.

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lifepuzzler@reddit

That's a really good way to ensure that I check your screen more frequently than everyone else.

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OkaCunt@reddit

This was proven to be a thing. Years ago I read a leading college (MIT?) in the US setup a computer room to test out the theory that some people negatively impact the operation of computers. They were able to prove that some people will cause computers to glitch, while other made no difference. Ive had a bit of a search, but google blows as a search engine now and cant find it

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Rothuith@reddit

Why is this your issue? This is an HR issue. The equipment clearly works. I don't care about your stupid energies and stuff

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pohlcat01@reddit

Most interesting way I have ever heard a user try to get an upgrade! 5 years is too long, have pity on them!

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irishayes86@reddit

Is this near Chicago?

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WWGHIAFTC@reddit (OP)

no. why?

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irishayes86@reddit

back when i was help desk we had a user join the company just like this. i dont remember the exact number but she opened something like 50 tickets for basic computing knowledge issues in her first month and said something similar at one point. her director was eventually talked to about this problem amd we got the term ticket.

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Kanibalector@reddit

I had the same thought.

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belgarion90@reddit

Huh, guess Elaine got a corporate job.

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rebootyadummy@reddit

Ask her if Q has any new insider news about the Deep State, and what she is doing as a digital warrior

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Assumeweknow@reddit

I'd just agree and say, my wife was like that. Till we ordered the right equipment. Though, it doesn't have much to do with being an Apple or PC. Some people just have the kind of ability that things break around them and that's why you hire us.

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power_yyc@reddit

I had a user exactly like that at one point! Same thing, said she could never wear watches, etc. Said she always had the weirdest problems with tech and it was because she had a build-up of static electricity or some such thing. One day, I walked past her desk and she was going off on that again. Saying that windows were just randomly closing on her, or she’d try to type things in a field and the focus would change or something. Blamed it on her energy. I step into her office and take a quick look. “Hey, so.. the elastic band you’ve got wrapped on your keyboard between the esc and F4 key. What’s up with that?” “Oh, I was just bored and fidgety” “Right…. It’s creating enough downward force on ESC to trigger it randomly. Remove it.”

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Shoddy_Mess5266@reddit

Can we get somebody on food stamps to replace her?

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Stone-D@reddit

Translation: she wants a Mac, but has no valid reason.

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sysvival@reddit

My girlfriend is also “allergic” to Electronics. Laptops will turn off when she touches them. Same for other tech. Turns out that some of her clothes made her static electric AF. Stopped wearing polyester sweaters, stopped being allergic.

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BerkeleyFarmGirl@reddit

The general switch in women's clothing to drapey, static-y synthetics can definitely be a factor in this!

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Tori-Chambers@reddit

Just hand her a crystal and tell her that it will ward off any of her bad energy.

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Kinglink@reddit

> She can't wear watches because they stop working Please tell me she's talking about old watches with out batteries, and she doesn't realize she has to wind them?

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tunaman808@reddit

>She can't wear watches because they stop working. One of my best friends is like that with digital watches. He tried everything from the cheapest Walmart watches to nicer Armitron watches to top-of-the-line Casio G-Shock watches... and they'd usually last a month, tops. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it for myself.

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Efficient-Junket6969@reddit

This is a joke right....

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NorthernBob69@reddit

Well it is a thing that some people break electronics, however, they break them all PC or Mac. In the 25+ years I have been doing this I have run into these people. They can't wear a watch, carry a phone etc. Anywhere from a few weeks to months it all stops working. Had a librarian that we would swap a computer out every 3 months. Her had all kinds of issues, we watched her, swap the computer and it was good, for 3 months. Took the old one and put it somewhere else and it was fine. Very odd.

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SOLIDninja@reddit

Her personal energy is getting in the way of her paying attention to what she's doing and preventing her from learning how to fix things she's broken. If her parents couldn't think critically either, it's no surprise that they "passed" that "trait" down to her. You should tell her some of the best IT people have the same problem and just make a living off knowing how to fix what their "personal energy" breaks.

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cramulous@reddit

Computer problems disappear when I set down to troubleshoot them. I had to put obs on my bosses computer so he could record problems and I could review video of them.

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clckykybrd@reddit

You could put an apple sticker on her dell monitor. 🫠

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BerkeleyFarmGirl@reddit

I know someone who has something similar. She is not woo-woo.

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UptimeNull@reddit

She has a magnet for fun ?!?

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iceyone444@reddit

"I need a mac because mercury is in retrograde"....

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Raalf@reddit

"that's not good. I'll let HR know your are not capable of fulfilling your obligations as an employee due to metaphysical restrictions."

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JustNilt@reddit

I knew a guy in the Army who definitely killed watch batteries. Drove him *batshit* trying to find inexpensive mechanical ones. I bought a couple cheap Timexes and a pack of new batteries at the PX and tested it. He'd wear it for about 12 hours before it just plain stopped working. Change the battery, it's fine for a half day or so then dead again. We ruled out a bad batch of batteries by getting some of a different brand off base. Same damned thing! Weirdest fucking thing but I've run into a few others over the years who have relatives that do it as well. He had absolutely no problems with PCs, though. I'd have to see someone using one and killing it to buy that, much like the watch battery thing to buy it. My guess is more that she blames her ineptitude killing PCs on whatever it is about her that kills watch batteries.

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jberkhemer@reddit

Is she a mid to high level HR person? I might know this woman.

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Big_Emu_Shield@reddit

No, I believe it. Just deadass. I've seen some shit. You take one PC and give it to one user and it stops functioning normally - drivers crash, it loses printer connectivity, or if they're working from home, ssh fails. You give the same machine or auth to another user and it's like clockwork.

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whetherby@reddit

thought this was the other subreddit for a sec

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Pretty_Gorgeous@reddit

I'm surprised you think this is fake. I've known people that this happens too. It's not pseudo-science, it's about their body's chemistry and electromagnetic and static electrical capacitance. Ever noticed some people discharge static electricity more frequently than others? As for the Mac thing, well that's a load of bs..

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mcnos@reddit

What if I told you I fix issues before I even make it to your desk?

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pnlrogue1@reddit

Wave a suitably impressive looking device over her, press a few buttons, wave it around again, and conclude that your devices are hardened against any signals that she gives off

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dracotrapnet@reddit

Time to find a stack of Apple Recertified stickers.

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booboothechicken@reddit

It’s funny how confident you are in your incorrect answer and expected everyone to agree. This is definitely a real thing, and while not an “aura”, more of a persons unique body chemistry, there is scientific evidence backing it. My mother cannot wear any type of watch or anything with a battery that touches her skin. They all die within a week. She’s tried tons of different brands and styles. She has to keep her phone in her purse, because if she keeps it in her pocket the battery discharges 50x faster.

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_RexDart@reddit

It's true

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MGR_Raz@reddit

Get her a static band

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multidollar@reddit

“We don’t supply Macs, bit if you buy one we’ll set it up for you”

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Doowrednu@reddit

Suspend your disbelief…. Back in my windows 3.1 days whist I was mainly trying to persuede people to Plaeas please please do not disconnect the token ring loop. We gave her a new desktop - multiple help desk tickets - constantly crashing - much heat from above ( she was an EA ) I was a little flumexed - what on earth was going on. I decided to give her my workstation - I knew this PC ran perfectly. A day later - same - crashed.

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SciFiGuy72@reddit

If she's that superstitious, can you lean into it? Have a colleague exorcise the bad juju or introduce a glorified static wristband to "ground" her? If she can get one day out of it before it's debunked, it may shatter that false premise. The only thing is that you have to sell it hard.

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Bivagial@reddit

So this kinda happens to me. Wearable electronics die very quickly for me (like within weeks or months). I can use computers fine. If using a laptop, I just have something between me and the laptop (a blanket, a desk, slab of wood, etc) and it's fine. Mice batteries wear out quickly when I use them. So I just have extra batteries. No need to get specialized equipment. Just make sure there's something between me and the tech. The only thing that I tend not to use because of this is watches. Before cellphones were as common, I used a pocket watch. Lady is taking the piss, but there may be a little truth to her claims of tech dying quicker with her. Just make sure she has a desk and spare batteries for her mouse. Or has a cabled mouse.

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jpedlow@reddit

Let them believe what they want to believe and support them within reason. But in the XP days we 100% had a guy who we nicknamed “the touch of death”. I don’t have the why’s or how’s as I was but a junior back then — but goddamn it seemed he was getting reimaged or a new box monthly. Super nice guy, would he the first to bring doughnuts or beer when something of his broke. People got their quirks, let it ride and balance the good with the bad/whacky.

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mercurygreen@reddit

This can be SORTA true. I have a coworker with a skin allergy so he can't use any detergent with dyes, or certain other chemicals... including anti-static dryer sheets, or conditioner for their hair. In dry weather they have a problem with getting shocked EVERY time they touch bit of metal. But Apple computers aren't magically proof against static, so to sale here.

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Reversi8@reddit

One thing that might make a difference is the full metal chassis, vs the cheap plastic of most business grade laptops.

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mercurygreen@reddit

Good grounding always helps. Well, except when you initially touch it! \*BANG\* "OUCH!"

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PedanticDilettante@reddit

It's totally real. Computers instantly start working when I am around. I am otherwise a man of science, but I don't question it. It has been a very profitable superstition.

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gadget850@reddit

She can resolve the issue with a grounded bed. [https://www.amazon.com/s?k=grounding+mat+for+bed](https://www.amazon.com/s?k=grounding+mat+for+bed) And yes, Electromagnetic hypersensitivity (EHS) is just more quackery.

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battletactics@reddit

This is definitely a THING. But a Mac isn't going to fix it. That's just trying to get a Mac.

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jmnugent@reddit

I might naively be able to be convinced,. if someone has a build up of static electricity,. that maybe the aluminum unibody of a Mac is in some way acting as a ground-drain,. in a way that a plastic PC laptop wouldn't ? (guessing that's somehow very electrically wrong. .as I"m naive) I had a lady in my last job that put in a ticket swearing up and down that her Laptop just keeps randomly "going to sleep". Other techs looked at her Laptop but couldn't find anything wrong with it and it was eventually given to me. I went to her desk and just asked her to work and or try to reproduce the problem. Turns out the metal bracelets she was wearing,. any time she'd reach a little higher to hit F-keys,. the metal in her bracelets was triggering the magnetic "sleep-sensor" in the palm rest o the laptop. Not really what Submitter here is describing,. but some things can appear pretty weird on the surface.

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battletactics@reddit

We get the same with Apple watches. They trigger the sleep sensor.

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Sintarsintar@reddit

I have actually seen this they went through cars and electronics like they were underwear. Phones that don't last a year and same thing with cars she just has the worst luck it's not even neglect most of the time it's just bad luck. Last car she had for two days before she put it in a ditch avoiding a deer. Now the exact opposite I swear just walking in to the room to try and reproduce the problem fixes stuff.

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WestonGrey@reddit

I’m sure it’s BS, but I worked with a guy early in my IT career who seemed to kill smaller electronics constantly. Probably coincidental, but he had a reputation

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Snowdeo720@reddit

The aura of this office is angry and unpleasant. I need to work from home.

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Liquidretro@reddit

I have a family member that always seems to kill electronics and appliances quicker than others and it's not by misuse. That top rated Bosch dishwasher, 1 month outside of warranty, smartphones, laptops, etc. We joke it's the copper in her long hair. I would just smile and nod to your user and say you can see what you can do, and leave it at that till there is a better business reason.

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Maximum-Echo4363@reddit

I have the opposite effect, my energy seems to fix things

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CornBredThuggin@reddit

I had a lady tell me that her computer stopped working, because Mercury was in retrograde or some other nonsense. I just smiled and nodded.

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Surefinewhatever1111@reddit

Astrology has gotten out of hand; I can no longer tell if it's just a thing or mental illness.

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frankiea1004@reddit

Can this be used for termination purpose?. She admitting that she is destroying company equipment.

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i8noodles@reddit

tell her its company policy. everyone gets X kind of device and X kind of monitor etc. anything not approved needs to be approved by upper management. not your job to handle these kind of issues. better to stand firm because these kinds of people tend to also be the most demanding and weird.

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SeaFaringPig@reddit

I have personally witnessed this. I would just look for a reason to terminate this difficult to deal with employee. But as far as a personal energy ruining electronics? I have actually seen this. It’s kind of dumbfounding. I have no explanation. I am probably just seeing what I want to see and not the actual reason. This probably belongs in r/highstrangeness.

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veganspacerobot@reddit

Theres a crystal for that

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SlimLacy@reddit

To people claiming near supernatural "roommates" or whatever that inexplicably kills electronics. It's their clothes 60% of the time, and 40% of the time it's negligence and hiding the fact. Ain't no one have so special skin or some telepathy level ability that kills eletronics. It's static and probably because of a combo of weird clothes and dragging feet.

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LForbesIam@reddit

This isn’t that far fetched considering religion runs on a belief that a thousand year old storybook written by brown Arab men is enough justification to pass laws based on those stories. I learned early that Mac is a religion not a computer preference and people will make up the most amazing stories to justify them. I personally am pretty scientific and logical. I have never witnessed this in my life although I have seen devices interfere with others around them causing weird issues. Like we had a bluetooth phone that would move the wireless mouse on a computer. They thought the computer was haunted until we took away the phone.

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apandaze@reddit

Is she a witch or something too? HR would have to drag me out of that office with the number of jokes I'd make after hearing this

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PrettyBigChief@reddit

Do the whole Holy Grail scene right there in the office.

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Surefinewhatever1111@reddit

Her parents chose...poorly.

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edmazing@reddit

It's very much a thing that happens. I just have the reverse energy thankfully. Sure it's probably dust, a one in one million issue, micro tear a ribbon cable or something that's come lose after vibrations or moisture damage. People have their rituals like pigeons.

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Mission-Accountant44@reddit

Lol, I thought every organization had one of those users.

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muklan@reddit

Soooo uhhh....she ever have a problem flying? Cause...Cause planes have alot of electronics on them that keep people from dying....

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copper_blood@reddit

Report this to HR and walk away... slowly. This person has a mental issue and you need to be clear with HR your not a licensed phycologist.

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spaetzelspiff@reddit

Just say that the business has decided to stupidly accept the risk - above my pay grade, not my money. Sorry.

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Hopeful_Extreme4084@reddit

get them some shungite.

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Lavatherm@reddit

![gif](giphy|kFFEyK1TDhr2KltMHL|downsized)

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Unable-Recording-796@reddit

Your heart produces an electromagnetic field.

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totmacher12000@reddit

Lmfao 🤣

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PlaguedByUnderwear@reddit

She's definitely nuts, but I actually have a similar issue. For whatever reason, the wires of wired earbuds stiffen up when I'm the one who uses them. Even tested by cleaning them and letting my brother use them for about a week. Sure enough, they were back to stiff about half a day after he gave them back. Well, it used to happen anyway. I switched to bluetooth earbuds and cans a long time ago.

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microcandella@reddit

This is the best ploy to get a mac in a PC shop I've heard yet. And I worked in an investigative journalism shop - man they're really good at finding ways to try to get a mac.

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itspie@reddit

OK (leaves)

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DonutHand@reddit

Pawn it off on whatever manager/department head you can. If it gets approved, just roll with it.

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p90rushb@reddit

One time I got a call asking for a replacement keyboard because hers had "melted". Of course I had to deliver it myself so I could see what that claim was all about. Well I shit you not, most of the home row and space bar was truly deformed, as if someone held a heat gun very close to the keys. No burn damage though. I asked questions and she didn't know anything about it other than she said sometimes that happens to her keyboards. I replaced it and took the "melted" one back to the department where we were all very puzzled. Two months later, got the same ticket. Melted keyboard again. This time we all show up, looking for anything strange. Hair dryers, space heaters, blow torches, anything at all. Did she replace all the water in her body with diet coke and her PH is so acidic that it eats away any surface she touches?? Nothing. Just another melted keyboard. She claims it happens slowly over time. So we replace it again and within a week she's calling us stating that it's starting to happen again. This time when I show up I smell a strong chemical. Then, I saw it. She was bored and repainting her nails at work and what was melting the keys slowly was fresh nail polish remover slowly working its way into the keycaps. But as far your coworker's energy wrecking electronics... Maybe she needs to switch to cotton or apply some static guard spray to her polyester clothes?

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Mac_to_the_future@reddit

At my last job, I had a user, a teacher, demand to have a WiFi access point removed from her room because it was giving her headaches. I told her that I could compromise and turn it off. I came in after hours and put a color-matched piece of tape over the AP’s power light and just left it on; she never noticed.

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terrybradford@reddit

Tell her to buy one of those rubber emery band things, if you believe they work then they work for you …..

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x86_1001010@reddit

I've worked in IT for almost 20 years now and I can tell you that there is something wrong with my wife. No matter the type of device, the weirdest issues happen to her and as soon as I get a hold of it everything is seemingly fine. It happens so much that she gets mad at me over it...I call her a witch. I've seen street lights turn off when she walks under them, its all probably a coincidence but man its strange.

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Jaereth@reddit

If someone said that to me I think i'd yell "TIME FREEZE" then run out of their office like I fully believe I had frozen them and they wouldn't notice.

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Icy-Business2693@reddit

Mental issues is real.. So many of them in the USA.. Start with the alphabet people!

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SquizzOC@reddit

Would have forwarded directly to my manager and said “you don’t pay me enough to be polite on this one, you want to handle this”. But my boss is a little more understanding than most.

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notHooptieJ@reddit

I want to tell you she's entirely full of shit.. but.. Im that guy. I cant use my work issued Macbook with the touchbar because i trigger the touch sensor when i get within an inch of the keys. (i have to use an external keyboard) I kill mag-stripe cards in a matter of days without extreme care (my last vacation, hotel keys lasted at most 12 hours, usually less before i kill them) credit cards and other mag stripe stuff i keep in an altoids tin when carrying them or again, they last a matter of weeks/days. I can step directly out of the shower and fire an inch long spark when i touch the dripping wet doorknob. Coincidentally im also that guy who has the corrosive sweat who leaves burns in the aluminum palmrest, and rots tee shirts if I dont wash them immediately after wearing. Im the guy who "held it wrong" and has nothing but cellular reception problems if im touching the phone(headset ftw!) But then, im also the IT guy, and constantly experience things magically working when i enter the room .. There are people who are biologically incompatible with electronics... but its entirely a situation you can manage (clean your gear, keep proper grounding on everything, be willing to try again after a reboot or try alternate gear till you find something you are compatible with.)

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randomfrequency@reddit

Mag-stripe hotel cards these days are usually killed by the magnets in people's phones - had the effect do it through my body front(phone in front pocket, card in back pocket) to back - I have to make sure my phone and the hotel cards are on entirely different parts of my body or they'll get wiped.

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Loki-L@reddit

Well I have an aura where computers start working when I a looking over people's shoulders and have them show me their problem. It even works remotely. That aura doesn't much help my own problems, I need to get other people with their own Aura to help me for thar. For the user in the story I would ensure that they don't come near any vital pieces of infrastructure, like sitting near WiFi access points, shared printers, thermostats etc and ban them from taking elevators. Older computers are more hardened against EMPs than newer ones so look into thar also check if they have a company phone or company car, those should be older models too.

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Capable_Agent9464@reddit

Can she also trace and communicate with mutants anywhere in the world?

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Small_Golf_8330@reddit

My former CEO said this exact same thing to me.

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talltatanka@reddit

I have users that are very vocal, and I can look at application logs to prove them wrong, but I don't ever say that. I monitor their workflow for several minutes. And it miraculously is working even though I did nothing. I've also caught users actively sabotaging their own equipment and that requires a write-up. But I do have users who just have shitty auras and their equipment is always breaking down for no reason. Start looking for environmental variables, like high or low humidity, temperaqture extremes, or just harder than usual wear-and-tear.

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wrootlt@reddit

Well, if IT people have positive energy towards devices, then someone must have negative. There must be a balance. And as IT people's energy is so strong, there must be a lot more users with bad energy. So, devices getting broken, dropped, spilled over, all because of bad energy, alas.. :)

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Daneth@reddit

Paging u/Salaris I think someone found Keras irl.

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protogenxl@reddit

low level delusions of grandeur

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reilogix@reddit

I’ve been in IT since I graduated college in 2000. This would certainly explain some things I’ve seen over the years… As would chance. BUT, I’m not going to close all doors just because I don’t have a key.

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hells_cowbells@reddit

I've been in IT since 1999. I've seen things you people wouldn't believe...

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WWGHIAFTC@reddit (OP)

Rack servers on fire in the closet of Orion I've watched NetApps glitter in the dark, near the PowerEdge Cluster All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain

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ThePlayerCard@reddit

That’s beautiful thank you

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hells_cowbells@reddit

I was hoping someone would run with that. I'm not creative enough. That's great!

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LowTechBakudan@reddit

I've seen some shit in my years as well. I had a friend who just had the absolute worst luck in life. Surrounded by negativity and all sorts of bad circumstances of which he never had control over. He'd sit at my computer and get a bluescreen before even touching the keyboard. Not saying I believe this stuff but it was just weird and I sometimes still think about it decades later.

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Stonewalled9999@reddit

I had a prof in college, when she walked by the computer lab a CRT would die (yeah, old enough that a 14 inch CRT was a thing)

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LowTechBakudan@reddit

Could be some kind of electronic superpower some people are born with. Can we harness it though?

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Stonewalled9999@reddit

If we were putting money into harnessing power we should be harnessing stupidity as it is an inexhaustible supply.

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Stonewalled9999@reddit

I had a prof in college, when she walked by the computer lab a CRT would die (yeah, old enough that a 14 inch CRT was a thing)

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uebersoldat@reddit

Wisdom. You sir, would be an excellent scientist.

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randomfrequency@reddit

I had a friend of mine that would have a hard drive in his laptop crash every year it seemed. Not sure if that changed with SSDs.

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Baron_Ultimax@reddit

Clearly its the inverse of the knack. Loads of techs for decades have noted an affect where machines simply work better in their presence. It seems reasonable some individuals would have the opposite effect.

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Aqxea@reddit

Maybe she has electromagnetic hypersensitivity (EHS) like Saul's brother Chuck?

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bobsmon@reddit

30 years ago, there was a woman who would constantly have a problem with her pc. No one else would have issues on her PC. Gave her a static strip, and it revolved the issue.

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Maddog351_2023@reddit

Tell them that electronics are ESD safe so it’s not them

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Fitz_2112b@reddit

I once had to do about 3 days worth of research because someone was convinced they needed all new equipment because their pacemaker was killing their laptop

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Sinister_Crayon@reddit

As with anyone who requests a special PC for any purpose (and a Mac is a PC no matter what anyone says) my response is usually to tell them to request a special dispensation from their manager. When the manager puts in a request I just send back a standard form that basically says that they agree that the user can req this specific laptop but that support of the platform will be on a best-effort basis and that our standard SLA's for custom computers are basically tripled. And that any problem found to be with the PC itself will be the responsibility of their department to fix at their cost. Funnily enough we rarely got any takers on that one...

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SpiritualAd8998@reddit

Don’t let her near the server room.

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joefleisch@reddit

This might be partially true. We had a person that could not wear battery operated watches. They just stopped and were dead. This person wore wind up watches without issue. Some lesser brands of computers would die when the person was using them. I know it was not the person doing anything malicious. The computers would just die or the keyboards would die. Weird stuff. Switched them to a MacBook and no issues. Just weird. The person retired so never got to test them with an scope or EMF meter.

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Kanibalector@reddit

Ask her if she’s related to Harry Dresden, if she says yes, do everything she says.

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Just-one-more-Dad@reddit

Points for great literary taste

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RangerNS@reddit

> I'll just need approval from your director and my director, and no problem.

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Recalcitrant-wino@reddit

There is documented cases of people who are wristwatch killers - I know this as I'm one of them. Digital watches seem unaffected (I wear an Ultra 2), but if I wear a regular wristwatch for more than a couple months, it will never keep time right again. It's been true my entire life. That said, I don't seem to have any issues with other electronic devices. Except for printers, of course.

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Fishmayne@reddit

For a while, ot felt like half of the POS tablets would f*ck up when I walked in a store. Had to wait a lot.

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SikhGamer@reddit

I love how OP came in expecting to slap him on the back and say "good job, lol users amirite?" but the comments are full of "yes some people can do that, static shockers".

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WWGHIAFTC@reddit (OP)

oh no, i didn't. She was full on mystical aura personal energy field juju doesn't even need a physical touch, just be in the same room, on and on. Static is a real thing, 100%. Some people are more prone to static for tons of reasons that are explainable.

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ObiLAN-@reddit

That's a wild one haha, don't even know how id approach that without sounding like a prick. Had sorta similar thing with a user once, but it was more based in "reality". Anyways, he used to just go through mice like crazy, theyd just die on him. Turns out the dude just had extremely sweaty hands to the point it would get into mice and kill them every other month. Ended up getting him a IP54 rated mouse and it seemed to have fixed the issue.

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SleestakWalkAmongUs@reddit

That's alright, my presence magically makes shit work again.

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biggedybong@reddit

Give her a typewriter

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Jeremy_Zaretski@reddit

Wrap her computer, keyboard, mouse, and monitor in grounded aluminum foil to ground her negative, I mean personal, energy.

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Serenity_557@reddit

Ok but if you work in IT you know PC mana is some real shit. I probably coulda cut my work load in half with well placed cardboard cut outs honestly.

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WranglerSpecialist38@reddit

That's a weird way for them to pronounce "I'm an idiot who refuses to learn new things so I just break them instead."

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gryghin@reddit

Sounds like the opposite of the effect of the affliction that Chuck McGill suffered from.

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snark42@reddit

I have personal energy that ruins RF around me. I think it's just fat, but signals do not flow through me well. WiFi and cell signal loss when I'm standing between device and AP or tower for instance. Most other people can stand in the same place and not cause any issues. The also leads to loss of signal on my phone in my pocket. No I'm not ignoring PagerDuty push/sms/calls, it's really getting through until I take my phone out of my pocket in that location.

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IForgotThePassIUsed@reddit

User Bullshit Language: I want a Mac and I don't want to pay for it. Get their dept to approve it int he budget or not and move on. these people are the most fucking ridiculous people ever to say no to, i let their management do it and handle the bullshit. and if they sneak back to me I ask them "YOU WANT ME TO BREAK POLICY? NO. AND IF YOU ASK ME AGAIN I'M NOTIFYING YOUR MANAGER."

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jimjamuk73@reddit

Tell her as the kit may need replacing often you are going to have to give her budget kit as it can be replaced easily....

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Additional_Hyena_414@reddit

Give her a stone to minimise the impact of the energy. She'll love you for 4 ever. [https://www.palosverdespulse.com/blog/2019/11/19/crystal-energy-and-its-impact-on-technology-in-todays-world](https://www.palosverdespulse.com/blog/2019/11/19/crystal-energy-and-its-impact-on-technology-in-todays-world)

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Stonewalled9999@reddit

You can all laugh but I have seen individuals where they kill and cell phone/cordless phone/pocket watch or wristwatch they wear. I don't believe its an aura I believe it to be due to a science based biological/chemical reason like electrical current or sweat/salt skin based.

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uebersoldat@reddit

This sums up my thoughts on this OP.

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arcadesdude@reddit

I usually have the opposite effect lol! I did have a user who had would always blow multiple power supplies when she would freak out. Very much a stress drama thing. People are electrical and its a real thing. But since you don't current accept it id suggest checking a few things Office chair hydralics can cause static discharge, eliminate or change the office chair to elimate this variable Anything static generating identify and eliminate Check input voltage and power conditioning levels buy battery backup as a buffer if needed or out of spec Types of computers should be governed by your it policies not user whims, so stick with windows or linux or whatever everyone else uses to make management of those devices easier and uniform Once variables are eliminated test new equipment with her. If she is still causing issues her coworkers do not have, try electrical shielding around the problem components (i.e. the user lol)

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inucune@reddit

Work in IT. Electronic watches fry if i wear them. I don't wear watches.

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ohyeahwell@reddit

I get that it's woowoo hokum, but I had a user that definitely had that energy.

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_haha_oh_wow_@reddit

I've been told this a few times before but I always assumed they were joking about their tech illiteracy, people believe all sorts of stuff though.

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MaxHedrome@reddit

![gif](giphy|mmPE0LLySyMhYyExBq|downsized)

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6Saint6Cyber6@reddit

It's because Macs are shiny, isn't it?

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livevicarious@reddit

Not gonna lie I’ve met some people that this shit seems plausible…. ![gif](giphy|2zoFg7OGkcS82CPK44)

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Beatnuki@reddit

That reminds me, I really should replay Arcanum

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whateveryousay0121@reddit

I believe it. The human body does give off EMF. Not much, but maybe a few of these "problem users" are really just causing interference with the tech. That's my only explanation after 25 years in IT.

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pescado01@reddit

Tell her that her PC is reinforced with a metal lining. Open it up to show her in the case.

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MegaOddly@reddit

tell her you can get a type writer for her as that is all mechanical and should work perfectly for her /s

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DoesThisDoWhatIWant@reddit

We smudge everything with the purest sage while chanting the most inclusive mantras when deploying computers. May you forever be free of stress. Be blessed, System Admin of our Lord.

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RancidYogurt@reddit

Give her some bad RAM on a chain. Call it an "IT Totem of Protection."

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nshire@reddit

I think something else runs in her family...

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RandomUserNameToday@reddit

On the flipside, I have positive energy for electronics because problems get solved when I show up :)

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TerrificGeek90@reddit

Sounds like they just want a Mac. Most people who post in this sub have no idea how to manage a mixed environment because they’re stuck in the past.

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countrylunatic@reddit

I have a friend like this. Weird things always happen around her. Watches don't last, electronics break, tv's turn off or on when she walks into a room, cars would just stop working (old and new, electronics and mechanical). Heck she walked into my house and all the power just goes out ( happened multiple times) .....she once was mad and pointed at a painting hanging on my wall for years...and it just fell off the wall. Nothing lasts around her. It's really odd and no one can explain it. Anyway, that lady is full of it though.

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BadSausageFactory@reddit

you need to remind people to open a helpdesk ticket if they have an IT issue. now more than ever.

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BadSausageFactory@reddit

I agree, she does sound like a mac user.

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LokeCanada@reddit

My wife and mother-in-law constantly break electronics. Constantly having to get them back up and running for them. I am the total opposite. People get upset with me because something will not work all day long and behave the moment I show up. I knew someone who kept a large rubber mallet in the office. Told me he used it to intimidate devices and they behaved better.

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0rsted@reddit

I tell people that computers fear me, that's why stuff works near me.

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fulmer84@reddit

Cant even what?

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ConstantSpeech6038@reddit

We just can't even sometimes.

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WWGHIAFTC@reddit (OP)

exactly. I can't even.

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scor_butus@reddit

I used to have a coworker who was described by a third party as having "10 dicks and one finger. Because everything Mike touches gets fucked". Mike, if you're reading this, we're all glad you got out of the game.

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go_chiefs_@reddit

Yeah I actually do think there is some truth to this in SOME cases. But if she's had the same PC for 5 years I wouldn't worry about it until you see one break

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WWGHIAFTC@reddit (OP)

Static electricity is most definitely real, and skin, clothing, etc. all play a role in it. That's not some unexplainable a personal energy passed down from several generations though. The thing is, she's trying to use it to manipulate me into getting what she wants. No.

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Maelefique@reddit

I fix things by aura\*, that's why I work in IT. Move her desk near mine, we'll cancel out and she'll be fine. 😂  \*Going by the amount of times I get "I swear I did exactly that 5x, and it didn't work, why is it working now?!"...

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ConstantSpeech6038@reddit

Oh, this is tough. What will you do?

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0rsted@reddit

I actually have a bit of that, but nothing detremental. Old scool tv's with antennas can loose tuning when I'm near, some radios have the same issue… I've always found it amusing, and it's been an awesome party trick… Users can be weird tho'

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TheWino@reddit

I was helping a user once and she hit me with “my computer is all weird because Mercury is in retrograde.” I’ve been in IT for 24 years now and it was the first time I had ever heard that as a reason for a computer having issues. 😂😂 Anytime she has issues I default to that.

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woohhaa@reddit

We had an alert come through from our network monitoring tool that an AP in our Amsterdam office had done down. It was one of two that covered the office area but the warehouse and other office APs were good. We emailed the finance guy who was our POC and asked if he could give us a visual inspection after we saw the network port it was plugged into was down. We got a reply from one of the onsite managers who let us know they intentionally unplugged it as the radio signal was making he and some of his coworkers sick. He also mentioned that he was not crazy and that other employees in the office agreed that they felt better afterwards. We let management know and everyone kind of laughed, shrugged, and said it’s not worth the fight. We replied “ok, if WiFi performance in the office becomes an issue plug it back in.” and left it at that.

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JustInflation1@reddit

I had to read that shit 4 times to get it. And I mean the title.

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dj_loot@reddit

I have done IT support for 31 years. I have supported ONE person that actually has this. His laptops will constantly be "dead", mostly hard drive failures or motherboard problems. His pagers, eventually his blackberries, would also constantly die. I thought he was doing something on purpose, so I hand-delivered a rugged laptop and asked him if I can observe him. About 2 hours later, I heard a static zap, looked and over and he said "See, it happened again". We gave him an anti-static mat and a supply of grounding strips (like the ones we used to use in server rooms) and that pretty much solved it. It wasn't his shoes, his clothes, his desk, etc.. He said he had been like that his whole life, constantly literally shocking people, making people's hair stand up, etc..

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Terrible-Advantage20@reddit

Give her a Chromebook

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anonymousLocalCoward@reddit

I had a user like that, not when she got angry or anything like that. but just as an in general... she couldn't have any smartphones, they seem to die right around the 1 year mark, every computer she used was usually stricken with issues when she used it, but when others used it, it would be fine, she wore a wind up analogue watch because the digital ones tended to die pretty quickly too... it was weird, I stopped trying to figure it out, the stopped caring shortly afterwards... it was job security to me, and gave me a pretty regular excuse to get out of the office and visit that site... there was a great taco truck down the street from it.

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Superb_Raccoon@reddit

This is my wife. It's real.

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gnocchicotti@reddit

Oh my God I didn't even realize my mother-in-law was back in the workforce, I should check in on her

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HisAnger@reddit

As funny as it is when i come to kitchen radio there lose signal.... but yeah utter nonsense. But .... i would give her the oldest working, used mac on stock, and tell the old ones were more resistant.

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Familiar_Builder1868@reddit

Hey we all know the IT aura is a real phenomenon. Shit just starts working as soon as you get near. Stands to reason there's an opposite 😁

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endbit@reddit

I had one user I'd watched do something in front of me, went that's weird and sat down and did it myself to sure and it worked fine. This happened on more than one occasion. We lost it when she came in one day complaining that the automatic doors at the shopping centre wouldn't open for her until another person walked up to them. We named an energy field after her. That field got blamed whenever something weird happened with tech.

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Emperor_Zombie@reddit

I usually blame solar flares. 🤷‍♂️

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djohnsen@reddit

I have surely had the experience where my presence around misbehaving hardware appeared to cause it to work better without any other intervention on my part. It’s common enough there’s a term for it that I didn’t make up: consultant proximity effect. I can’t help but wonder if there are others with something spooky like that but in the other direction. Scary if there are and I hope you haven’t really got one. What is more likely is that she doesn’t care for WINDOWS (easy enough to believe) and as a result (consciously or otherwise) interacts poorly and percussively with the issued hardware leading to its failure. Maybe she would hit a Mac less. Maybe she’s trying to give you an excuse to grant her that machine on religious exemption grounds with all that energy business. Maybe - you give her what she asks for, and you make it clear you’re doing this to avoid the support problem she would have been with a PC - and how you appreciate her intention to be an independent user and not need to contact you for support again. Speak the reality you want into existence. Manifest some BFOH: “Let me show you the energy work going on in this electrical closet.”

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cardlackey@reddit

Just tell her you’ve updated firmware to protect against it.

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Sasher85@reddit

Tell them to go ground themselves in a patch of grass barefoot.

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iMadrid11@reddit

This sounds like an HR problem. Refer your conversations and equipment inventory findings to HR.

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landob@reddit

I actually believe users like that exist. They just have some weird unexplained aura that slowly distorts technology around them. I've even done things like ask about their vehicles and the same thing happens with vehicles.

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SomeoneRandom007@reddit

Unfortunately there's a bunch of people, mostly women, who are into all this "energy" stuff. They "think" with their emotions and there's not much you can do about it.

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Fredd500@reddit

I kow someone who couldn’t use electronic watches because the would stop working in a day or two. Unfortunately I’m not in contact with them anymore so I don’t hone how there are handling the age of the iPhone. One theory was static electricity do to silk underwear, but I don’t know if it was ever proofen.

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RubAnADUB@reddit

dear user. kick rocks.

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bobo_1111@reddit

I had a user go through phones like every 6 months. She actually had diagnosed electrical problems with her heart and had an ablation (spelling?) to “fix” her rhythm with electric shocks(?). Her phones are in pristine condition except for electronic glitches that are unexplainable. She has also complained about her cars touchscreen entertainment system having issues too. She is also not Pebcak, So I feel like it could happen.

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Bright_Arm8782@reddit

I have met one person who could fry anything, just with his personal presence, I'm not sure of the exact mechanism but this was more than chance.

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bst82551@reddit

Need a doctor's note

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randomman87@reddit

Tell her management decides. Then talk to management and explain how much extra tech debt would be added to support one user on a Mac. Let them decide.

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weekendclimber@reddit

Is she a lawyer in Albuquerque and have a brother named Jimmy?

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cajunjoel@reddit

The obvious answer is to tell her that modern computers have been following apple's lead and much more resistant to these sorts of things than in the last.

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PatReady@reddit

Bring in a degausing ring and run it over her.

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Yvoniz@reddit

She needs to get all the negative energy gonged out of her

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bjb8@reddit

Tell her to buy a set of these and put them on her computer. [https://www.amazon.com/Cell-Phone-EMF-Protection-Neutralizers/dp/B0BXBCDR9F](https://www.amazon.com/Cell-Phone-EMF-Protection-Neutralizers/dp/B0BXBCDR9F) Or any of the similar "neutralizer" you can find on there.

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JereRB@reddit

Slap a quarter on her forehead, see if it sticks. If not, tell her she's fine. If it does, tell her to take a shower and try again.

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ConspiracyHypothesis@reddit

You support Harry Potter?

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Reacti0n7@reddit

I've met a few people like this, but normally they have already realized it and just actively stay away from electronics. my grandmother can't wear a real watch as the gears magnetize on them. her old neighbor couldn't use credit cards or hotel keys - they would just get wiped. another tech said he had an employee who her family wouldn't let her use the TV remote as she kept killing them. they gave her 5 different devices that all worked for other employees, but would crash for her all the time (even under observation) Now for the MAC bit, I don't believe that portion - but people do exist that technology just doesn't like their company.

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BoredTechyGuy@reddit

This is my wife but it’s anything electronic. She ALWAYS has the oddest issues that I have never seen or ever will see again. She doesn’t demand macs so there is that!

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TheAnniCake@reddit

She should have shown you a demonstration after you've denied her request

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hkusp45css@reddit

Holy shit! I had an incredibly similar conversation with a user like 20 or 25 years ago. Right down to the "I can't wear a watch because something about my magnetics make them stop working" \*pulls out pocket watch to demonstrate that they've really bought into this idea\* This was predicated on the fact that I had top come back to their desk 3 times in a year to fix some odd software glitch. "Yeah, electronics always break around me, it's my energy. I can't even have a TV at my house because of it."

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heavySeals@reddit

There are things like this. I have an uncle who can't use touch screen devices because they shut off every time he touches them. I thought it was BS when my parents told me until I saw it in person.

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MeiAllDay@reddit

https://i.redd.it/x96kyzxi6tpd1.gif Sounds like a job for...

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iofhua@reddit

My dad thinks the same way, but still uses a PC at home every day. However the moment something electronic acts up, it's his energy that causes electronics to fail around him. I wonder what he was exposed to that made him think this way. It must have been some new age indigo aura bullshit.

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Surefinewhatever1111@reddit

Therapy or restraining order. Or just burn the witch.

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