ULPT request: How to keep a convicted pedophile away from my young cousin when all adults know but choose to turn a blind eye

Posted by lifepaws@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 111 comments

A few years ago, my aunt's husband was convicted of a crime because of what he did to me and 5 other victims. Includes very serious stuff like violating physical boundaries and recording me in the shower. He only got probation.

My aunt did not believe us, so she is still with him, and she convinced my grandparents to side with her. Because of him, I lost my entire family who lived a 5 minute walk away. Everyone in my small town knows about everything, I had teachers flippantly asking me about it after class, and I have since moved away out of shame. Meanwhile he and my aunt are living happy picture perfect lives, totally untouched by any social or financial downfalls. It has been a few years so I had done my best to heal from it, though it will probably take a lifetime.

All of my healing has gone down the drain—my young cousin admitted that she doesn't feel comfortable around him, because of the weird way he looks at her. This alone was devastating enough. But recently, in a drunken stupor, he confessed to her teenage boyfriend that he is attracted to my young cousin; I will not quote him directly, but he said many disgusting things and used the word "sexy" many times.

The main issue with this is that she has already told all of this to her mom, my other aunt, who also didn't believe me. I thought maybe, her own daughter being the victim would wake her up from whatever reality she lives in that allows her this level of denial. But nope. So all the adults in her life refuse to protect her. I've already bought her a pepper spray, but logistically I'm not sure how much it will truly help to keep her safe. I don't want her to have to prevent herself from being harmed, I want him to not be given the possibility and the access to her.

What the hell do I do?

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SnooPineapples521@reddit

Put posters of his mugshot and rap sheet all over town. I’ve seen it done.

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csdtraitor@reddit

CPS. You will have to anonymously report to keep yourself safe. Can make up a lie as to where you got the info. Ie. You are a parent and your daughter came home saying her classmate was telling her about how she's scared of this guy calling her sexy but no one is helping her at home.

With the history, they will investigate.

Even if they fail in finding anything, everyone will know that once again this man is being closely looked at as a pedo. These kinds of families don't respect or support young girls, but I know they hate to be shamed and embarrassed to the public. Do with that what you will.

I am sending you all the best wishes. Her as well.

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TroubleDawg@reddit

And get a willing group together, you take turns calling the anonymous tip line. Once every 2-3 days. Start over at the beginning when everyone has taken a turn. The police won't be able to ignore you.

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Independent_Toe5373@reddit

Honestly fucking true. Sad but true. He was literally convicted, it should be a no brainer. But without "public" pressure they won't do anything. If the whole town knows already, and you've moved away and they can't get to you, I wouldn't rule out making a Facebook post.

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lifepaws@reddit (OP)

I already did this a few years ago, in the main group that every local is in. Didn't even have to mention names since the entire town knows me, my aunt and grandparents, and the assaulter. Got thousands of likes and comments of support, but he is still attending sports games at the schools and living his life like any normal dude. It's insane.

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Additional_Secret_90@reddit

Time to refresh everyone’s memories babe! Make it news ‘again’ bring it fresh into peoples minds. Parents come and go as children grow from soccer games and such. So time to let all the ‘new’ ones know!!

Or what about those local biker gangs that help those in that situation?

I’m Scottish so I’m not sure the answer would be the same here unfortunately

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Siphyre@reddit

"Convicted child predator accused of prey on children again, will the state do something this time?"

Sounds like a great front page headline to me.

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NurseKaila@reddit

I’d go above CPS and skip straight to the Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

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lifepaws@reddit (OP)

Haven't heard of this but I'll look into it.

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NurseKaila@reddit

Here ya go :)

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Thisguychunky@reddit

This is the smart, best, and most ethical way. The unethical way involves a piss disc and a falling piano

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Otherwise-Topic-1791@reddit

Or battery acid in a coffee cup that someone accidentally spills on his crotch?

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drinking_child_blood@reddit

A very delicately balanced anvil on top of a door

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Nosferatatron@reddit

Check the hard drive

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Twisted_Cherub@reddit

Depending on your state laws, the parents can also be reported for substantial risk of abuse if they allow him to babysit or do anything unsupervised with the kids. SC allows this.

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Mobe-E-Duck@reddit

Sounds like that boyfriend should engage in a sting.

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ComfortableAd578@reddit

Collect evidence. Record voice memos whenever he gets drunk around cousin and her bf. Sporadically print records of the conviction and mail them with no return address. Make mass posts to Facebook if you don’t mind the attention. At least a few people should get riled up by that. Go full on Chris Hanson and bait him into getting locked up. Lots of options. None will be easy for your family but your cousins safety is above all.

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Hot-Remote9937@reddit

How the hell is this is even possible. OP isn't around these people anymore. Maybe you should actually read the post

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ComfortableAd578@reddit

Unethically use her cousin to do the things that can’t be done remotely. I read the post fuck knuckle. Maybe you should actually just not open your mouth.

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PhilT81@reddit

Do you know anybody with hungry pigs?

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AffectionateBrick687@reddit

There is actually a song that has some great suggestions for your situation.

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Lopsided-Beach-1831@reddit

OP Im sorry you went through that, so sorry.

First- report to his probation officer, whether he is still on probation or not. Both the alcohol, the comments about your cousin and that she reports feeling scared. They have resources and back channels to get things happening that you dont have access to.

Second- report to CPS that a convicted child molester is telling people that a minor is sexy. The boyfriend he confessed this to also needs to call into CPS. CPS needs to be aware that her mother has been told by the daughter what is going on and that she is scared and the mother is not protecting her.

Third- You may need to go back around your family again. Go scorched earth. Get the graphic transcripts from court about his transgressions, his conviction and his registry page. (Black out the victims names please, your name as well if you wish, leave their testimony to be read) Make multiple packets to hand out to everyone in attendance. On top of the packet, have in writing what you are going to say aloud because as you speak people may get up and leave or argue back with you. As you are doing the packets out, state loudly that you and whatever God you believe in will hold each person in this room personally liable if he molests your cousin. Tell everyone he has said that she was sexy and she feels scared to be around him. Tell everyone that they abandoned you but they have a chance to do the right thing NOW and protect this child. Tell them to read for themselves what he is capable of and that every person in the room is charged with her safety.

This may effectively sever your relationship with your family. It may open some of their eyes and those people may contact you to reconcile. It will at a minimum make it much harder for him to get her alone and damage her the way he did her. It is much easier for them as a family to ignore his criminal behavior and blame you than for them to take the time to look up information and ask questions. With your words charging them with her safety, and the truth at their fingertips, most will actually read the transcripts and discover his transgressions. Im sure your aunt hasnt shared that information. They may or may not support you at that point, but the seed of doubt will always be planted in their brain and your younger female family members will now be safe.

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lifepaws@reddit (OP)

I will definitely do the first two. Third isn't possible, I am no contact with them and living in another country. I actually unblocked my two aunts to inform them of his comments and they blocked me immediately, so that avenue is closed. But they were all there in court, my aunts and grandparents, sitting behind him in support as the judge read off the graphic details of what he did, as he confirmed he did in fact do those things as he plead guilty. They are a total lost cause.

My family are otherwise entirely "normal" people. I still cannot wrap my head around how everything that happened is actually real. Just pure insanity.

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Lopsided-Beach-1831@reddit

My goodness, I am so sorry for what you have gone through, and am in a way glad #3 is off the table bc it would have been traumatic for you and I was worrying for you😘 I am so proud that you are sticking up for your cousin and protecting her in the face of adversity. I will pray for peace for you, safety and strength for your cousin and a big fat CLUE for the rest of your family- thats some next level head-in-sand avoidance blame the victim crap there! Internet hugs to you, you are amazing!

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lifepaws@reddit (OP)

Thank you thank you<3

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TheHudsini@reddit

Leaflet drops in the local area and neighbouring towns. Make sure all the local troublemakers also know. The people who aren’t in the Facebook groups and the public forums. Make sure the underbelly also know of his crimes. And if all else fails leave the cunt in the woods even though this action wood be ethical.

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Familiar-Armadillo94@reddit

You should definitely report his behavior to the authorities, talk to a lawyer about getting a protective order, make sure your cousin knows how to stay safe, and reach out to organizations that can offer support. It’s important to take these steps to protect her. stay safe y'all

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lapsteelguitar@reddit

Call the police. Let the chips fall where they may.

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lifepaws@reddit (OP)

I thought about that of course. I will call the county probation officer & CPS today, but I didn't think it's "serious" enough for the police to care.

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cwilliams6009@reddit

Not so sure about that. Police might be absolutely thrilled to have another good look at this guy.

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International_Eye980@reddit

Take him to the boondocks and tie him to a tree. Extra bonus points for force feeding him honey and milk

Serious note. Hope you're doing better and wish you all the joy in the world, and I hope this piece of shit dies alone, scared and slowly.

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thepickledust@reddit

Catfish him and get him to send you nudes and leak them, maybe on Facebook or just to your relatives with screen shots of his messages. Maybe you can even get him to admit things to you like his creepy fantasies about kids.

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Human-Rights-1974@reddit

I know a guy that can make him disappear if you can provide a stolen car.

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thecoolermaz@reddit

Just kill him in his sleep.

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Wise_Monkey_Sez@reddit

I'm sorry you're going through this. The re-traumatisation must be intense.

My only suggestion here is to maybe contact several of those people on youtube who run "to catch a predator" type of stings. If it's not too stressful then watch some of their videos and see who runs the most violent and confrontational stings, reach out to them and tell them your story and ask for their help. His face will almost certainly end up on YouTube in the near future, at which point you can just anonymously send it to everyone in town.

Also, biker gangs are often really, really nice people who have zero tolerance for child predators. If there's a biker gang that operates in your area (or even nearby - they're mobile!) they might be interested in hearing about this and ... well, if something happens to that uncle one dark night on a back road... you'd know nothing about that would you?

If you have access to your uncle's computer at any point also look into a USB keylogger (you can buy them on Amazon). It'll record what websites he's looking at and the FBI's child exploitation task force might be really, really interested in that data. They tend to move very slowly, aiming to catch as many pedophiles as possible before they close the net, but they will definitely throw the book at him on federal charges.

As far as more immediate revenge goes, fuck your uncle and aunt over financially. I'm going to assume small-town living and the standard "the key is under the " so you can get into their house sometime when they're not home.

Use that keylogger data to get access to their bank accounts and transfer as much as possible. They OWE YOU that for future therapy bills. Leave them with absolutely nothing. These days a 2nd mortgage can often be done online, as well as approval for massive overdrafts. Leave them as far in debt as possible. How to do this? Use their funds to buy bitcoin or another cryptocurrency. You'll have the bitcoin wallet key, and can cash it out whenever you want. Remember to do this from their computer in their home so it looks undeniably like they bought this bitcoin. Wear gloves, and be careful of any camera surveillance they might have (you should know where it is).

Leave them penniless. Their relatives might be significantly less sympathetic when they have no money and the pedo uncle starts asking if they can move in or get a loan.

If this seems a little harsh, I personally view your aunt as just as culpable as your uncle here. She knows what's going on and is actively enabling his activities. She deserves punishment just as much as he does.

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UnaZephyr@reddit

Do you like peaches? Save the pits, they're a source for ar$3nic if you know how to get it to ferment right.

Then just Aqua Tofana that relative.

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Downtown-Campaign536@reddit

Just call CPS.

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NotThatMadisonPaige@reddit

This needs to be posted on r/illegallifeprotips and that’s all imma say about that.

He is unable to be fixed. As long as he’s breathing he will harm others. He’s broken.

Can the cousin leave and come live with you?

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lifepaws@reddit (OP)

I will offer the option to her but I live in a different country so it's very unlikely. I'll encourage her to try some self defense classes on youtube and give her recourses for therapy and help. I am really really glad she felt safe enough to tell me, but terrified at how powerless I feel living so far away.

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NotThatMadisonPaige@reddit

Damnit. I’m so sorry. I hope he meets some type of unexpected and sudden impediment. Ashé.

It’s disgusting he’s had so much enabling and support.

There have been some great suggestions in the thread. His hard drive is probably loaded. Also you could try baiting him. If he has a sexual conversation with “a minor” the authorities have cause to seize his computer. I think there’s a group that does it, if you don’t want to do it yourself. I’ll see if I can find them online. But in general guys like this are easy targets because they cannot control their sick impulses. Does he have any social media profiles that you know of? Could we find them?

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lifepaws@reddit (OP)

I considered lying to the police and saying he confessed to CP because if he was so brave to take his own videos, I'm sure there is other stuff there too. But I don't want to get in any legal trouble...

He has no social media otherwise I would try the fake bait.

I would like to avoid the boyfriend getting involved. My cousin is already so embarrassed:(

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Key_Necessary_3329@reddit

That would put you at risk of filing a false report and/or open you up to liability libel. No need to throw yourself under the bus by accident.

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NotThatMadisonPaige@reddit

Do you still have anyone in the local area who is an ally to you but still reasonably able to talk to the family?

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lifepaws@reddit (OP)

Not really, everyone is divided on two sides. Anyone who wanted to say anything would have already.

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NotThatMadisonPaige@reddit

Then I really think that if you or anyone is going to teach her how to defend herself it needs to be something practical and very damaging to him. There are moves that would maim or disable or kill. I hate that it comes to this but he is winding up for it and circling her like a predator. It’s a matter of time. She’s not fully able to run like any prey would. So she has to fight to kill like any prey in nature would. It doesn’t sound like there’s anyone adult there to handle him so it may be up to her.

She doesn’t need some karate class or whatever she need to be connect to a Krav master. Or similar. Yes get the pepper spray or other things that could stop him temporarily.

Praise her for trusting her instincts. I love this about her. Tell her to never stop listening to her inner self and to not ever doubt her sixth sense. Women are so often told we are crazy or being mean. Fuck that. And keep those lines of communication with her open. Call CPS to create a paper trail. Create as many paper trails as possible. If there’s a women’s center in a nearby town, have her call or visit. As much that is documented ahead of time the better.

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dubokitiganj@reddit

no one told here, as far as I can see, but if your cousin can set up a camera or microphone active at all time it would really be useful for social media and exposing him. Idk about the laws but I guess laws wont really protect him if he harassed her on camera, and everyone saw it. Idk my two cents.

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DisturbedNPC@reddit

Violence

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UnusualSeries5770@reddit

this is r/unethicallifeprotips

violence towards pedophiles isn't really unethical

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Wise_Monkey_Sez@reddit

Violence where you reasonably believe that there is a plausible and imminent risk of harm to yourself or others has a name, it's called self-defence.

It isn't just pedophiles, and it's legally important to draw this line at "this is self-defence" (which is a legitimate defence) as opposed to "violence towards pedophiles is okay" (which isn't a legitimate legal defence).

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PapagenoRed@reddit

Yes. Abduct, bring in coma and tattoo pedophile on the forehead. No need to have a tattoo artist do it, learn it on him.

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deltascorpion@reddit

Tattoo stuff is kind of expensive, a knife and square letters would do the job better and less traceable to you.

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Relevant_Theme_468@reddit

Nice to hear someone wanting to make the prison inmates life easier. No hiding from a face tat ☠️

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SnowEnvironmental861@reddit

Omg haha I like this one

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deltascorpion@reddit

Don't even need to get your hands dirty. Tell your local bikers/gangs about what is happening, and they will do whatever need to be done. I hope the guy gets stabbed.

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dahumancartoon@reddit

Yep

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Nukegm426@reddit

Go have dinner… while cleaning”Accidentally” smack him in the head with a frying pan.

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beautifulterribleqn@reddit

Hire people to gossip about him loudly around places he frequents. Have them say only factual things like you've stated here. If the family protects him, crowdsource it. You've experienced shame. Now it's his turn.

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Heineken008@reddit

Taxi drivers are good for this. They talk to a lot of people in the same area.

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MockStarket@reddit

Yeah baby. This is the kind of content I come to this sub for. Hell yeah.

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ApocolypseJoe@reddit

Post photos of him around the neighborhood warning people. They can't turn a blind eye when everybody else knows

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Ne0n1691Senpai@reddit

so many non-unethical tips in this post, shame.

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unwittyusername42@reddit

I was going to suggest among the other good suggestions others have given reaching out to B.A.C.A., however I just got to the part where her own mom doesn't believe her and they have to be contacted by the legal guardian of the child to do anything so that's out.

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lifepaws@reddit (OP)

What exactly is this? Nothing sensical comes up on google. I will pass it on to her mom just in case she ever comes to her senses.

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MageFood@reddit

becaworld dot org great group they will help also if a local chapter is near by they run off donations and its a great group

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unwittyusername42@reddit

Bikers against child abuse international. Bacaworld. Org

They work totally on the up and up alongside law enforcement. It's a worldwide program and pretty awesome

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Neither-Following-32@reddit

Can you get a picture of his mug shot or his case file?

Make copies. Turn those copies into fliers. Post them all over his job or church or whatever.

A mixture of flour and water makes a great, hard to remove paste that makes fliers difficult to remove when it dries.

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lifepaws@reddit (OP)

Nice tip.

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MomIsLivingForever@reddit

Maybe include pics of the family members protecting him? Shame 'em all!

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Evie-Incendie@reddit

CPS and also get cousin self defense classes. Breaks my heart. I’m so, so sorry this is happening to your family

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TheChosenToffee@reddit

Teach her how to rip off an ear

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lifepaws@reddit (OP)

Will do.

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ShameOver@reddit

Krav Maga is simple enough to learn for free from YouTube. Learn your basic combatives, and drill them regularly. Dem elbows go a long way.

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BubblesnCream@reddit

Can you recommend any specific channels?

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ShameOver@reddit

Not really, I learned elsewhere. The overall theory of Krav Maga and its individual combatives are so simple it'd be hard to screw up. I'll look around when I get home, see if I can find something that will work for ya.

As bleak as it may sound, It'll be a great activity for y'all to do together.

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No_Address687@reddit

You know that scene with the printer from Office Space?
Like that, but with you and the 5 other victims where the uncle plays the printer. https://youtu.be/N9wsjroVlu8?si=H-BMDbRsdAmM2Dn1

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According-Ad5312@reddit

Call the prosecutor first. Cops will screw it up. Record everything!!!!

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SpoonFed_1@reddit

Is he on parole or probation?

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lifepaws@reddit (OP)

He got 2 years probation when he plead guilty. It ended already though.

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SpoonFed_1@reddit

you missed your best opportunity to send him to prison

During probation, it would have been real easy to violate his probation and send his azz to prison

He has to be on the Sex offender registration. Check to see that he as the right address and that all his info is correct. If it is wrong, that is a felony.

also send the address to his place of work and info like license plates of the cars he drives, he is supposed to report all that. There is an officer or sheriff in some cases that checks that. Find out who the officer is and send him that info so that he can double check to make sure he has reported all that. If has moved, changed address etc without notifying them.... that is a felony.

You can also tell the officer that you doubt that he lives at that address that is posted on the net. They will go and physically check to see that he lives there. Sometimes , they will send a tactical team. Quite embarrassing and oppressive from what I have heard.

I used to work at a place that gave therapy to sex offenders.... and many were sent back to prison for the above reasons.

Good Luck

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frequentflyerrr@reddit

Depending on area Hells Angel's really dislike this type of thing and tend to protect the kids. Depends on area though.

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CanuckBee@reddit

Hells Angels traffic children and women by the way, and sell drugs. They do public relations stunts from time to time and put on a big show, but they out and out traffic women and children.

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frequentflyerrr@reddit

Honestly depends on the area. I grew up with great clubs and knew my fair share of bad ones too. Drugs yes, trafficking is generally a no.

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Maristalle@reddit

You're going to need to need a source for that claim.

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soaringseafoam@reddit

Everyone in my small town knows about everything, I had teachers flippantly asking me about it after class

This tells me that CPS is the only option. The entire community is protecting this guy. Shaming him won't help, gossip won't help. Everyone knows he attacks children and they are fine with that.

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dubokitiganj@reddit

too sad this happens too often. :(

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CoverofHollywoodMag@reddit

Not unethical but encourage your cousin to practice self defense statements LOUDLY- IM UNCOMFORTABLE, GET AWAY FROM ME, THATS NOT OK , etc so she has time to think, it’s too easy to freeze!

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lifepaws@reddit (OP)

This is interesting, thank you. I'll do some research on other similar tactics too.

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Paevatar@reddit

Is he on the sex offender registry? If so, maybe that info can be posted in the community.

I am so sorry for what happened to you. It's horrible that people chose not to believe you.

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lifepaws@reddit (OP)

He is. It has been posted online in some Facebook groups over the years. I will consider posting it around the town too.

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Hereibe@reddit

Firstly make sure she knows she can stay with you if she needs to. Give her an out so she doesn’t feel trapped while he escalates.

Second buy some targeted Facebook ads. For their little town. Nothing calling him out by name, but ands that link to articles about how predators get away with things. Articles about good family men hiding in plain sight. Make em real boomers scary images and then if they click through it goes to actually legit informational sites. Put ads for news stories about family men getting caught being predators, the local-er the better. Lets these ads run for a bit. Give em time to breathe. A few months just saturating feeds, really marinating the idea in there.

Third find some local fb or Nextdoor groups or whatever your towns older folks are most on. I’m talking internet stuff, not irl. Anonymously find someone on Fiverr (AND COVER YOUR TRACKS) and pay them to start some anonymous call out posts about this guy by name. This way it’s even less traceable to you.

Fourth have we considered giving the boyfriend and his father some baseball bats?

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lifepaws@reddit (OP)

I live in a different country now:( Went full throttle trying to escape the place. I suppose I can still let her know it's a possibility just in case she would want or need to have a last resort.

I think since he's on the offenders registry it's actually legal to call him out by name. Some random lady was posting his registry page in the main town's facebook group a few months ago, because my Grandma (who also disowned me in disbelief) was running for the elementary school council:/

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deltascorpion@reddit

If I knew the guy, I'd go for 4 right after 1. Tell your local bikers about it. They will gladly do what needs to be done if there is a child involved.

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m00ph@reddit

The first is the most critical of all of these, though very ethical. Just knowing that someone believes her, and will support her if she leaves, should help her a lot.

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Txidpeony@reddit

If he is still on probation, contact his probation officer.

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lifepaws@reddit (OP)

Will do by end of today.

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CarrotofInsanity@reddit

THIS. Probation Officer needs to know.

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dopesick23@reddit

Hit him in the face every time he's tries to interact with them.

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lifepaws@reddit (OP)

Ha! My sister actually just punched him in the face last week. I'm very anti-violence but not in this case. I've been daydreaming about baseball bats recently... But no way I'm about to go to jail when he didn't see a day behind bars

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CarrotofInsanity@reddit

Sharpie his car in the middle of the night with

“Stay away from. (cousin name) you pedo.!”

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