ULPT Request: Can I get someone removed from a college by sending the college evidence that they are in possession of marijuana? Or something similar?

Posted by IllliilliiiIiiIIilI@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 99 comments

Title. I am going through a divorce at the moment and my bitch of an ex-wife is attempting to threaten me into paying for our daughter's college tuition. She is 19 and is going to get her associate's degree this semester but my bitch of an ex-wife wants me to pay for her schooling until she gets her bachelor's degree.

My daughter also happens to keep a secret marijuana stash in her bedroom. If I contact her college and inform them about this, would they possibly kick her out of the school? At least temporarily? I cannot let my hard-earned money go towards something like this and I am desperate to avoid letting my ex-wife play me like a fool.

Any help is appreciated.

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LEGALIZERANCH666@reddit

How are you 32 and have a 19 year old daughter lmfao.

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Meggarea@reddit

I'm 47 with a 31 year old, but this is a troll.

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Throw_away_Mike_1991@reddit

47-31=16 - unfortunate, but beliveble

32-19=13 - I refuse to accept a reality where a 13yo can have a kid

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Meggarea@reddit

The youngest mother in the world was 5.

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Puzzleheaded_Lynx_10@reddit

Prob a troll but I did have a manager that had a kid at 11. His girlfriend at the time was 15

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Throw_away_Mike_1991@reddit

Fate in humanity is being destroyed

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No_Confidence5235@reddit

Read their comment history. They admitted to me that they make up posts a few times a month "for fun".

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Helpful_South113@reddit

My father was 11 and my mother 14 it can happen

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leksolotl@reddit

nah your manager was groomed

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Puzzleheaded_Lynx_10@reddit

Oh definitely

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nausteus@reddit

They might be from Mississippi or Alabama.

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BeardySi@reddit

Trolls are bad at maths...

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kantsbaldhead@reddit

Somebody piss disc this guy

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foresight310@reddit

Yeah, fuck that poor girl’s dad…

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quiet_wanderer75@reddit

You

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girlwiththemonkey@reddit

What’s piss disc? 😭

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Freyja624norse@reddit

I’m so glad you asked!

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thewalkindude@reddit

You pee in a disc shaped container, freeze it, then slide the frozen disc of pee under someone's door.

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houndsoflu@reddit

Seems safer than the flaming bag of dog crap.

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girlwiththemonkey@reddit

That is as amazing as I thought it was going to be. 😭

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GothMaams@reddit

ASAP

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Snoo_59080@reddit

Having parents that love me is my biggest gift in life. I cannot imagine having parents as evil as you are. Wow.

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mizushimo@reddit

6/10 troll post - Points for being short and to the point while still having emotion and vitrol, the author could have improved this by letting us know how he knew about his estranged daughter's weed stash (perfect opportunity to add stalking to this character's crimes), could have also given us some hints about why he hates his daughter so much. Typing out 'my bitch of an ex-wife' twice in a row makes this post funnier though. If OOP's intent was to give us all a laugh, at least that part worked.

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IllliilliiiIiiIIilI@reddit (OP)

Thank you for the constructive criticism. I appreciate you.

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JohnWickedlyFat@reddit

How are you being coerced in paying for her education through the divorce?

Also mj poss (off campus? Or even on) isn’t close to grounds for expulsion unless she goes to like BYU.

You’d have to fabricate something a lot more sinister and getting it to pass the smell test is well beyond a ‘tip.’

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GothMaams@reddit

My dad was ordered to pay sisters college tuition as part of my parents divorce, he just never did. Guess who has no relationship with their dad now? Both of his kids. Though in OP’s case it sounds like he’d be perfectly happy with that kind of arrangement.

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IllliilliiiIiiIIilI@reddit (OP)

Thank you for notifying me that this is an option. Well worth it I think.

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GothMaams@reddit

My mom just never went after him but I’m rooting for your wife to go after you no matter what.

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AgateHuntress@reddit

We tried to get my dad to just keep paying child support while I was attending community college full-time (I arranged my own funding through Pell grants) for graphic design back in the late 80s, but I was told by his lawyer and even my mom's own lawyer that "That isn't a real career like being a lawyer." so they didn't make him continue paying.

I hope both of those lawyers occasionally think back on that and realize how completely stupid that was. I had planned to go onto Milikin University after the two year degree to get my bachelors, but ended up dropping out of the Community College to work full-time to support my mom and brother.

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Downtown-Campaign536@reddit

If your daughter is 19 that makes her a legal adult. You owe her $0 for college or anything else for that matter. If you do owe alimony wouldn't you rather your daughter get some of it for her schooling the "bitch of an ex-wife"?

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DrEdRichtofen@reddit

You should definitely tell the dean. Let them know all about it.

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girlwiththemonkey@reddit

Shut up. Why should his daughter be punished because her dad is a dick?

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DrEdRichtofen@reddit

They wouldn’t be. That would give the dean insight into the students real world situation.

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Suspicious-Bed7167@reddit

They are literally doing it

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DrEdRichtofen@reddit

literally doing what?

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No_Confidence5235@reddit

If you're going to lie about who you are, at least try to hide it. In your other post that's literally on your profile you said you were 32. Yet here you're claiming to be 19? You're so desperate for attention that you're lying to get it.

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IllliilliiiIiiIIilI@reddit (OP)

Mmmm your tears taste so sweet to me

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No_Confidence5235@reddit

Hahahaha you're the one crying. You've got nothing going on in your life and that's why you're crying for attention.

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IllliilliiiIiiIIilI@reddit (OP)

I'm having fun. I post on reddit just a few times a month, is that really so bad? Let's compare that to how much time you spend on reddit...

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Harryonthest@reddit

colleges don't usually care much, she might get a week suspension or the weed taken from her...it might have to happen repeatedly with more crimes involved to actually get someone kicked out for weed. it happened to people when I lived in dorms, the cops would just come take it away, sometimes the kids got tickets sometimes not.

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IllliilliiiIiiIIilI@reddit (OP)

Thank you for the advice. I will keep this in mind and think of ways to improve my strategy.

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Suspicious-Bed7167@reddit

So you wanna ruin your kid life because you’re getting a divorce ok.

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Bunnie2k2@reddit

or just not punish your child for what your ex is doing.. yikes

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Aggravating-Fee-8556@reddit

YTA. What self respecting parent would fuck with their children's education and potentially get them in legal trouble (depending where you are) because you can't work out your issues with your ex?

Act like a fucking adult and handle your shit directly and don't even think about doing that. What kind of man and father are you? Jesus Christ some people suck

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IllliilliiiIiiIIilI@reddit (OP)

She is pursuing a degree for interior design so it's not an actual education. I do not think that it is a good use of her time or my money.

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euphoricembrace@reddit

you'd rather be a paypig than spend that money on your daughter??

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Illustrious_Month_65@reddit

Someone tell his daughter about his Reddit activity.

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Cecowen@reddit

At least your don’t really have to worry about it since this is literally the most obvious troll post

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veggieveggiewoo@reddit

Well you’re getting a divorce so I wouldn’t really trust your judgement about whether or not something is a good choice.

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ka-ka-ka-katie1123@reddit

Just FYI for the scummy incel troll: interior design and interior decorating are not the same thing. (There also nothing wrong with being an interior decorator, but if you’re going to troll, you should at least be an informed troll.)

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JaggedLittlePill2022@reddit

Do you have any idea what an interior designer does?

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Churchie-Baby@reddit

You realise an interior designer can earn an absolute fortune right? And your only doing this to spite your ex wife let's not lie

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GothMaams@reddit

Totally shocking youre getting divorced and your ex wife is being bitchy to you.

Not! 😐

Maybe she will grace us with her presence asking for ULPT on how to further tighten the screws on you for being a shitty dad.

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Embarrassed-Manager1@reddit

Yeah tell that to the people who just redid my house for thousands and thousands of dollars lmao

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Thaiaaron@reddit

We paid the Interior Designer who outfitted our gastro-pub £30,000 for on and off four months work with eight meetings. That was her fee, the seats, chesterfield chairs, paintings, tables, lights, lightbulbs, ropes, etc were separate.

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Aggravating-Fee-8556@reddit

Oh piss off you arrogant fuckwit. It's not your decision what she wants to do. It is your money of course so you can withhold it but I guarantee you will lose any remaining relationship with you do if you do. From the sounds of it, that might not be a bad thing.

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Mediocre_Spell_9028@reddit

I know this is ULPT, but holy shit this is over the line

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PuzzleheadedHome5620@reddit

LOL ok so OP is

32 with a 19 year old daughter
a software engineer names Craig who recently got divorced
a pay pig
trans
obsessed with women's breasts

seems legit

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VeryIntoCardboard@reddit

Uh. You’re willing to get your child kicked out of college because you don’t want your money going towards their education? You sound like a real piece of shit and I’m with the ex wife on this.

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Freyja624norse@reddit

But fortunately one not smart enough to come up with a plan that has a chance of succeeding!

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Freyja624norse@reddit

Aside from the totally ridiculous attitude you have about supporting your daughter and her education, you are nuts if you think they will kick her out of school over that. Also, at this point, she’s in community college and so likely not living on campus. Is she planning to live in dorms on campus when she goes for her bachelor’s degree? Because they can’t go search off campus bedrooms for marijuana. And I’m also assuming it is illegal in your state.

But honestly, they at best will make her get rid of it and give her a gentle slap on the wrist if she has it on campus in campus housing. Stop trying to mess up her life because you are cheap.

Granted, I think you are a troll and this is fake.

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Late-Mathematician55@reddit

In Canada, if you're a university student and you DON'T have mary jane, people ask what's wrong with you

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kerodon@reddit

Sorry what? You are spiting your ex wife by not supporting your child so she can become a successful adult??? 🤔 And furthermore want to get her kicked out of the school she is attending?

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katismic@reddit

Thought you had an excess amount of money that needs to be gotten rid of.

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Helpful_South113@reddit

No one on this thread is going to help you
I see why you are getting a divorce what's her name so I can congratulate her
Your next post is going to be why my child won't talk to you

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crash866@reddit

Depends on which state she is going to college it. Many states have legalized weed and anyone can buy and use it.

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melance@reddit

You had your daughter when you were 13. That may explain why you are so immature. Taking your anger out on your daughter who is working to make a good life for herself is extremely childish. And you denigrate her degree in Interior Design? A job that pays incredibly?

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The_pity_one@reddit

„My bitch of an ex-wife…” and somehow I already know it’s fake

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Thr0waway_Joe@reddit

You were 13 when you had her or?

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smolpinaysuccubus@reddit

Imagine not realizing it’s a troll account lol

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Churchie-Baby@reddit

If you want your daughter to hate you and go no contact for ruining her education just to spite your ex sure go ahead

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Iammine4420@reddit

‘’My ex is bitch, so let ruin my daughter’s life’….ffs, what a pos.

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Noiz_desu@reddit

Idk the rules of this random subreddit, but what the fuck is this??? Is this a troll? 🧌 I hope she cuts you off after graduation

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FreezeDe@reddit

Unless you intend to message every college in the country, you can’t stop her from going to college. And even if you do message every college in the country, there is going to be 1 that either dismisses what you say or simply doesn’t mind if their students smoke marijuana.

I’m not sure how tuition works in other countries, but if you live in the US, if it takes her applying to an out of state college in a state that is more lenient on marijuana, your plan will probably end up costing you money instead of saving it, as she will attend an out of state school with higher tuition

This plan is not going to work in your favor. Your only realistic way of saving money on your daughter’s tuition is to discuss with your divorce lawyer if there are means to reduce or eliminate the amount you’ll have to pay

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Thenedslittlegirl@reddit

Lies lies lies.

I remember bait used to be interesting

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Kewkky@reddit

Do you even like your daughter?

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Katherine_Swynford@reddit

Seeing as she’s 19 and he’s 32, he probably doesn’t like her simply because she doesn’t exist.

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IllliilliiiIiiIIilI@reddit (OP)

She turned into a real bitch

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IllliilliiiIiiIIilI@reddit (OP)

Not particularly.

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sweetpup915@reddit

Lol your profile and post history.

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SOffBaldrick@reddit

Perhaps you should consider killing yourself. This is a faster and 100% proof way you won't have to pay her anything ever again. And will definitely make the world a better place.

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theworldisonfire8377@reddit

By all means, derail your daughter's future for your own selfish reasons... that doesn't make you a terrible parent at all... oh wait, yes it does.

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LadyProto@reddit

Why don’t you like your daughter?

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redaktid@reddit

MF it is you who needs to hit the blunt

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pinetreeclimbing@reddit

AITA isn't getting people enough attention anymore with their creative writing so we have these dumb assholes here now.

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workitloud@reddit

PHDND.

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Thaiaaron@reddit

Your wife will tell your daughter it was you. You wife probably wont have any proof but it's an obvious lie she can tell her during what seems like a messy divorce. Your daughter will never speak to you again or look at you in the same way. The dad who snitched on his daughter to save a few dollars.

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Fire-Nation-17@reddit

The problem is your wife not your daughter

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Previous_Link1347@reddit

These are supposed to be unethical, not evil.

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crizzle509@reddit

You are a scumbag to take the bitterness of your divorce out on your daughter like that.

I sincerely hope somebody slaps you before the day is over.

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UncleAlbondiga@reddit

Step One: fuck off Step Two: refer to step one

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ClassroomMother8062@reddit

Well that's.... certainly unethical.

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iLikeAza@reddit

ah nah. . . There is a difference between unethical & scum pro tips. . . Your daughter deserves support. Divorce happens but your children are your responsibility.

As a former college dorm RA, they aren't going to care about a dime bag in anyone's room. They wouldn't be able to keep the campus open if they expelled every student that had a weed stash. Snitching is never cool but snitching on your daughter is as low as it gets.

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