A few months ago I came here asking for tips to help get a man named Quentin out of my son’s life. I’m super grateful for all of the ideas, and many kind words.

As of today, and for the last three months, my son is happy and healthy. We found a transitional living house for him with five other young men and two house managers (and a dog). He’s learning to adult: learning to cook, clean, and get a job. It includes therapy, gym every day, yoga, skateboarding… truly a dream come true.

The house is about 40 minutes away from where Q lives and my son feels he has friends, is purposeful and feels adult, and is learning and busy. They will also do job training.

Before this happened, I took as much of your advice as was possible.

I contacted the manager at Q’s workplace and the motel he occasionally stays at. I told them Q was allowing a disabled teenager to stay with him and giving him (and other teens) alcohol. Manager is local small business owner and took my information seriously. I also went to motel and pointed out the sign that said al guests must have ID (my son does not). I told manager I hoped he was abiding by rules or I’d contact corporate.

I also starting calling non emergency PD line when he was camped after park closing time, and leaving his dogs during the day. PD would move him along.

Someone had the great advice of being his best friend and showing up all the time. So I did. Q wants to see my son, hey here I am, too. I’m at the park, I’m at your work, I’m near the motel. I even prepared fliers to let others in the park neighborhood (with a playground for small children) know about the tent, camping, and unsupervised, unneutered pit bulls.

Q got increasingly upset. He said I was stalking him and he was going to call the police. I said, politely, please do. I’d love to tell the police more about what you’re doing with my son and other vulnerable young people. I told him, you want to be in my son’s life, I’m in your life. Up to you.

I really felt bold after all of your advice nd encouragement. I was willing to keep going for the long haul. In the meantime we found a lawyer and I started tapping into resources to find my son some kind of job training, because he really wants to help and feel grown up. For a few weeks he was working at a drugstore through a program through a local agency. That was huge for him, stocking and cleaning and helping people. It also kept him busy for about a month and kind of removed Q slightly.

Quentin either got sick of seeing me, or afraid of losing his job. The location of the motel he had been staying at occasionally stopped letting him, so he had to start using another location much farther away. Farther to walk to work and harder to deal with. I think he realized my son wasn’t worth the trouble I was causing, and just stopped contacting him.

Thank you so so so so much for all of your ideas. I was so focused on trying to fix it from my son’s end as his mom I had no idea how to actually deal with Q. You all were fantastic. Huge thanks from the mom of a happy, healthy, busy and purposeful young adult son.