ULPT - if you're thinking about divorce pt 2.5

Posted by MediumFuckinqValue@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 25 comments

I hung out with a fellow divorcee and we talked about about our experiences over drinks. I think more needs to be said about money. This is more of a pro tip for those subject to heavy handed control, where your controlling spouse keeps a close eye on the money.

This person would go grocery shopping and opt for cash back on most transactios. At the beginning she was only getting $60 a month. She feared he would start checking the receipts and busting her. After a couple of months of small gains, she started buying extraneous items that could be returned at the next visit. Her examples included cookware, utensils, tumblers, and at one time a brand name ice chest, later exchanged for the generic brand of the same color. This satisfied a few things: receipts would match the items, there would be no cash back amount line item, and the refund will be in the form of cash if the debit option is used (check with the store). You should also shop at different stores or you could get blacklisted.

Her biggest gains were during Christmas shopping season. After two years, she had collected enough cash to retain an attorney, plus extra to cover living expenses during a brief transition period. This person played chess.

Check with your lawyer for actual legal advice, although that might be difficult if you don't have access money. If you're broke, come back to ULPT.

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MDindisguise@reddit

Start going to casino vacation or night spots with the spouse and pocket the money or casino chips, I bought Visa gift cards at the grocery store and never kept receipts. Get a new phone number with a deposit required.

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Medical_Slide9245@reddit

So maybe treat your spouse like a spouse and withdraw cash when they need it. It's absurd to live this way like the spouse is an employee that needs to be monitored.

I don't think the controlling spouse is the one who has to sneak cash. Seriously.

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MediumFuckinqValue@reddit (OP)

Not sure what you mean. These measures were to circumvent a controlling spouse. Also, we wish we could reason with people who have control issues. The minute they feel like they're being undermined, they go on alert and raise shields

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Tight_Tree_2789@reddit

Too many returns gets you flagged and potentially denied for returns across multiple retailers.

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MediumFuckinqValue@reddit (OP)

Amazon now does this, there's truth to your statement.

If you're doing this out of survival, it's worth trying. A few grand and alternating stores will help avoid some retailer blacklist, and I'll say keeping boxes intact and products unused and ok for resale would be one of the goals

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linesmostlyfiller@reddit

That is not true. Too many returns without a receipt is what gets you flagged

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PawsomeFarms@reddit

No, too many returns will do that too.

A common type of fraud, even with a receipt, is bringing in a receipt asking for a refund on a small but high shrink and high value item- such as a pack of batteries. They'll keep the receipt (or make copies), swipe a pack , and return it.

Another frequent type of fraud is them buying something expensive (such as a boom box) and returning it later that day- now in such a condition it can no longer be sold. They may do this whenever they need that particular item- sometimes daily, sometimes weekly, ect. They're basically borrowing products to use.

Another common type of fraud is when people do the buy stuff to return it for cash/product/gift cards with stolen cards- it's why many payment terminals no longer allow people to get cash back if they're not using a pin.

Another type- though much less common- is using a benefits card (SNAP/EBT, Humana, ect) to buy an approved product and then attempting to exchange it for something you're not allowed to buy with it (such as cigarettes or alcohol) or cash. This one is thankfully rare, in my experience, because if it happens often enough it can get the stores ability to accept that form of payment revoked.

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Mars_Collective@reddit

You’re describing a normal, legal return, not fraud lol.

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BatFeelingStress@reddit

Entirely depends on the store. I worked at target doing returns for a few years and as long as you have the receipt / payment method, the return will never get denied.

Item can be completely destroyed, doesn't matter. Item can be missing half of the contents, doesn't matter. If you have proof of purchase, you can do it forever.

I'm not saying there are no guardrails in place, I imagine if you did this with electronics over and over you would get blocked eventually. But what I am saying is that I knew regular customers who would do shit like this, and I never once saw them get blocked. The only thing that had a limit was without a receipt, where you could do $100 per year.

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CaptErv@reddit

But they aren't commiting fraud? If you are returning legit unused items with a receipt to a local retail store you'd have to return an insane amount of items to get flagged.

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Relevant_Theme_468@reddit

Most definitely fraud. There's an insane amount of these con artists that create a new industry for loss prevention. Causing black lists of these cretins to be distributed to local management of the "bigboxboyz" and the mom and pops. Cause and effect.

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Dementedkreation@reddit

Not sure where you are from but I can say without a doubt home improvement stores aka Home Depot and Lowe’s are more than happy to let you return all kinds of stuff with or without a receipt. If it was paid for on a credit or debit card they can easily look up the transaction. They can also look up the transaction if you are a member of their rewards program. They won’t give you any hassle about returning things. Costco also is very liberal on their return policy.

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New-IncognitoWindow@reddit

Better to just take the cash back with a debit card and toss the receipt.

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FeetAreShoes@reddit

Sometimes that isn't an option. Receipts need to be shown to prove honesty/allow continued control

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MediumFuckinqValue@reddit (OP)

Yes, try your best to avoid stirring suspicion, especially if he/she has started asking for receipts.

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Miscarriage_medicine@reddit

Don't some state have the higher wage earner paa for the lower wage earners attorney? Finally dont for get to attorney shop all of the local good divorce attornies.

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budrick320@reddit

Yup first Hand witness here..... When the end is near, it's a frenzy scooping up Every resource you can obtain until a split is finally over..... That's when you really realize how ugly And greedy humans can get.

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Svv33tPotat0@reddit

While OP gives off a lot of red flags and there is definitely more to the story...

The main thing I don't understand is doing anything but equally sharing finances/responsibilities unless one person is disabled or is having a rough patch. Like just pool all your money together and have the common fund for mutual needs like rent/bills/essentials and each have your own discretionary fund.

If you don't feel like it is an even exchange (like if one person works more and one person does more house work or taking care of kids/family) and it is not financially necessary I dunno then maybe don't share finances?? And if that doesn't work then don't live together and if that doesn't work just break up like why do we do this compulsory nuclear family model?

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hereforpopcornru@reddit

Okay now enter an excellent relationship built on trust and equality. 5 years later that person shows true colors and traps you in an abusive situation.

Your approach is ideal, but sadly not everyone's reality

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