what my wine drunk mom gave me for dinner unironically, a cold canned sweet pea sour cream and butter sandwich. yes she made me take a bite. and she ate one herself
Posted by No_Koala5728@reddit | shittyfoodporn | View on Reddit | 449 comments
marlamaples406@reddit
Are you English?
Destructo-Bear@reddit
"And on tonight's episode of Chopped, the basket contains..."
elp4bl0791@reddit
If the basket has bread, peas, and butter I know what I'm making
I_DRINK_GENOCIDE_CUM@reddit
I'm making toast and fried eggs and throwing the peas in the fucking trash where they belong
Tight_Following9267@reddit
Lmao I love peas but appreciate why others do not. Thank you for making me cackle that was hilarious!
I_DRINK_GENOCIDE_CUM@reddit
You're welcome!
It's one of a very few foods that I hated as a kid, and still hate as an adult. Peas and squash, and probably one or two more that i can't think of off the top. I eat all kinds of weird shit but those just make me gag lmao.
BloodforKhorne@reddit
Instructions unclear, I made mash.
Destructo-Bear@reddit
And sour cream
electrotoast@reddit
Hell yeah. I would love to see a Chopped: Drunk Edition!
LumpyWelder4258@reddit
Your box contains.... kraft macaroni and cheese
stargarnet79@reddit
And almond milk!
Fear_The_Rabbit@reddit
The drunk person would design the menu, but tell a sober person how to cook it as a partnership. Can't have drunk people with knives and fire.
BadWolfman@reddit
The on screen graphics have a countdown timer and a breathalyzer BAC reading.
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
someone needs to patent that
misstiffie@reddit
Lolol
sourfillet@reddit
I can hear Maneet now: "You did not transform the ingredients!"
Objective_Radio_9889@reddit
I’m calling…. Someone…. Anyone!
Ryanisreallame@reddit
Your mom knows the Great Depression is over, right?
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
or is it? 😶
iDontGetKyle@reddit
cue Vsauce theme
Paratwa@reddit
Sorry OP, while that dinner really sucks your comment made me laugh like a madman.
Hell just scape off the peas and eat the bread and butter. Damn.
TRLingYou@reddit
Now it's just Part 2: Electric Boogaloo
mattprime1@reddit
The ReDepressioning
Nozzeh06@reddit
It's been the great depression in my brain for like 20 years, idk what you're talking about.
darkwater427@reddit
You know what they say a recession is when your neighbor loses his job; a depression is when you lose your job
D_crane@reddit
You could just tell me it's British food and I'd believe you
The_Jimes@reddit
Those peas aren't ~~vomity~~ mushy enough to be Br*tish
EasterHam@reddit
Throw some beans in for no reason at all and I think we've got classic pub food
sppf011@reddit
Nothing great about this depression
Dry_Machine163@reddit
Is it though? Or is it making a comeback.
Realistic-Debate1594@reddit
The Great Repression?
No-Needleworker8947@reddit
Coño at least mash the peas to make it a spread, that shit's getting everywhere
Sick_NowWhat@reddit
I thought those were capers… would that make this better or worse?
TheDoctorAP@reddit
Honestly though with a little finesse and $1.50 more of ingredient this could be made delicious IMO. Mash the peas with the cream cheese add some mint, marjoram, and/or savory. Toast the bread in the butter. Pipette the pea mixture on top. Fry a tin of sardines with some sliced garlic or garlic powder in a pinch and top. Over the pea mixture.
Impressive_Image_848@reddit
I remember those days. It gets better once you grow up.
papayabush@reddit
tbh if fuck this up. i absolutely love peas and butter. cream cheese sounds like a good addition.
smash_ronso@reddit
I'm calling child services for you
lferry1919@reddit
Your mom is hilarious...unless, you know, you're too young to make your own food. Then it's a bit concerning.
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
lol all good, i’m 20
lferry1919@reddit
Looks like she even seasoned the peas for you, lolololol.
PatrickStardawg@reddit
At least she done that. I seen my dad microwave a bowl of mushy peas the other day and poured soy sauce in them - no other seasoning
Ruairiww@reddit
NGL sounds bangin
mshaferr@reddit
gonna have to try this
xbleeple@reddit
Whew!
MadamSnarksAlot@reddit
Yeah. You can’t complain when you’re old enough to cook. Take over that kitchen STAT!
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
my mom is a great cook, this was more of a midnight snack experiment that she decided to share with me lol
MadamSnarksAlot@reddit
Well in that case- it’s fun to be the taste tester person most of the time I’m sure.
nanabozho2@reddit
Exactly …
morgaina@reddit
Lol this is your fault, learn to cook
strawwrld_1@reddit
I mean I think OP just think it’s funny idt they ever claimed they couldn’t make their own food. They do mention it was a midnight snack experiment so probably just a drunk parent randomly deciding to do something “nice” and it’s actually just unhinged. I’ve certainly been there 😅
PawnWithoutPurpose@reddit
Thank god you’re an adult! I would have very different feelings on this otherwise 🤣
AppropriateTouching@reddit
Its shitty but still more food than some kids get at least.
warte_bau@reddit
The fact that you’re 20 and she made you take a bite sends me
tacotacotacorock@reddit
Something tells me they're not moving anytime soon.
telepathic-gouda@reddit
To be fair this would actually be pretty good, maybe if they were warmed up though. I love canned peas so much lol. Would be even better with some brisket on there 🤤
Accomplished_Let_798@reddit
Think she was trying to say “cook your own damn dinner”
stevesie1984@reddit
She says that, then follows up with “you don’t like it? I’ll eat it.” takes bite “It’s good! I’ll eat it all.” eats it all
EssentialFoils@reddit
You really think this person is younger than like 9? Cause even 9 year olds can make a sandwich if they have to.
uckluckluckl@reddit
He's TWENTY
lferry1919@reddit
Could just be a really tech savvy 6 year old.
...or they keep the bread where the 9 year old can't reach it. My niece can't reach my bread because it's on top of the fridge. No real reason other than it was the space that's free and it's an efficient placement for sandwich making reasons. She's a little monster that likes me to make sandwiches for her though and then she pulls them apart and eats the ingredients separately. Then she laughs when I ask her if it's because she hates me. She'd be fine with just sandwich components. All of which she can reach.
ParticularAd4371@reddit
true point, you never complain about a meal someone has made for you. But still, moaning about it on reddit seems like fairplay. Got to have a vent.
lferry1919@reddit
No, totally fair to vent. It was kind of you to humor her and try it. You're very brave. I was just trying to make sure I didn't sound insensitive if it turned out you were just a very witty kid that suffered at dinner because their drunk mom made them a pea sandwich.
ParticularAd4371@reddit
i think the best bits are the blobs of butter
ParticularAd4371@reddit
i think the best bits are the blobs of butter
bubblegutts00@reddit
Oh gheez 🤢
LoveBreakLoss@reddit
This has gotta be some form of child abuse
SassyPantsPoni@reddit
At least your drunk mom fed you ❤️😭just kidding… I’m not sure which is worse. I’m sorry you have to deal with a drunk mom too. It’s not fair to any of us 🫶🏻
Myfourcats1@reddit
I used to eat pea sandwiches as a kid
vitaminnah@reddit
This actually looks good to me. I might make this.
SomberArts@reddit
Bruh... my sober ass would make something like this. Fuckin love peas.
Typical_Muffin_9937@reddit
Yeah, I'm thinking about the flavors and this might actually hit? Gonna try it this weekend wish me luck
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
i fucking love peas but this was not going to happen.
SomberArts@reddit
Fair enough. I'm just saying to me it sounds pretty good, and I might make myself one some day. Lol.
Ok-Hedgehog-1646@reddit
Bet it slapped after you got hungry enough to eat it.
IdealExtension3004@reddit
Are you British by chance? Saw a “chippy butty” sandwich on a Bourdain (?) tv show where a British guy made buttery chip (French fry) sandwiches with mashed peas.
aiyhtan@reddit
This would crack me tf up if my mom came home wine drunk and whipped this up to share with me. You’re a better child than me cause I absolutely would not take a bite. This was really endearing to read.
Maximillion_3@reddit
At first I thought that was like a grand worth of capers then I audibly sighed
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
figured i’d clarify a couple things
i am american, not english… it was a little devastating to default to british level cooking in multiple peoples minds
i should have clarified a little better. i had already eaten at this this point. she had gotten home late and decided to make me a plate when she made herself dinner anyways. food is a big love language in my family, including our weird creations we put together when it’s getting close to grocery shopping time
my mom having some wine didn’t really impact the weirdness of what she makes. she grew up a waste not want not family. i’m pretty sure the peas were left over from another dinner and she had limited options to choose from to make them into a substantial meal.
i love my mom, she’s great. a little neurotic at times but who isn’t. i am in not way complaining about this dish, just thought it would be funny to share.
my mom is a fantastic cook and she makes great delicious food consistently. she just likes to experiment when she wants a girl dinner and it can come out like this occasionally.
6.i feel like people may be assuming she’s an alcoholic or maybe neglectful but all her kids are grown and can feed themselves and if she wants to decompress a little after work and make a weird little snack, i feel she’s far more than earned it
Duhcisive@reddit
Not gonna lie, #1 made me laugh because I was wondering this entire time if you happened to be British😅
All jokes aside, sounds like your mom raised a very loving child & she would probably be extremely proud to read your comment!
May she enjoy anything she finds enjoyable, even if it’s a bit different.
waterfallsnmoss22@reddit
This is one of the sweetest things I’ve ever read
RamenQueen65@reddit
I mean I’d this after some herbal refreshment. 😂
Visual_Option_9638@reddit
Oh you had butter.
When I was a kid my dad fed my brother and I potato sandwiches..plain bread, boiled potato skin and all in between. My brother threw his away. I ate mine. My dad found my brothers in the trash and he said I did it. I had to eat a 2nd potato sandwich, this time garbage can flavored.
unoeyedwillie@reddit
I really like the plate the sandwich is served on. Any idea where to buy them?
Davimous@reddit
Throw some cheese on there and make some fancy grilled cheese.
seventwosixnine@reddit
At least there's some seasoning? I guess?
Acheron98@reddit
That made me gag reflexively despite none of those ingredients being repulsive on their own.
Solid post.
LogicalVariation741@reddit
Feeding kids day in and out is exhausting. And sandwiches are hard- I don't eat them so I don't really understand how to make them. On top of it, if you are old enough to post on the Internet, you can make your own sandwich.
What I am saying is, you say thank you, take a single bite then make your own.
And if your mom is a danger to herself or others or your home life is scary bad, go to a trusted adult. But if this is a one off- give the lady some grace.
HerNameIsHernameis@reddit
She definitely saw the same TikTok I did. The difference is, I immediately recoiled and she stored it away as a good idea 😭
merazomo2@reddit
That looks delicious mmmmm
Asleep-Journalist302@reddit
Canned peas in general are pretty rough. Obviously this is an abomination on top of that
SlobbinMyKnobbin@reddit
This seems like a UK thing
Salty_McGillicutty@reddit
Yikes that's just as bad as the time we got a quarter head of raw cabbage and a disk of cold canned refried beans for dinner.
Bon appetit!
Aren't alcoholic parents the mostest?
Necessary_Weight_603@reddit
At least she seasoned the peas.
ladder_case@reddit
You need way worse photography to really embody the sadness visually
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
i happened to be sitting in the best lighting in the house when she handed me the plate
Yuri_diculous@reddit
I'm surprised to hear she even put that on a plate
JennyIgotyournumb3r@reddit
Yeah, this seems like it should be served on a napkin. Even a paper plate seems too fancy for this
glass_star@reddit
You need something to catch the peas, duh
Apprehensive-Cat2527@reddit
Could we get a pic with the wine bottles/bag in it?
SlurmmsMckenzie@reddit
This never happened and yoy fucking know it.
tacotacotacorock@reddit
Put it on a paper plate. Anything on a paper plate and people instantly think it's shitty.
KillerBarbie24@reddit
Don’t think lighting is the real concern smh
Assiniboia_Frowns@reddit
This kind of sadness really calls for a chemical film.
SlurmmsMckenzie@reddit
I refuse to believe this is real. Nope.
Nottamused-@reddit
I would say make your own dinner of you don't like it.
Ashamed_Medium1787@reddit
Ew
MIGHTYKIRK1@reddit
Push her down the stairs and don't say I told ya
potatecat@reddit
Ok… subtract the bread, add a bowl. Mix together peas, cream cheese, butter, little bit of lemon juice, sriracha, salt and pepper. Then heat in microwave for 1 minute… boom. Creamy peas. You won’t be disappointed.
WetSmellySocks@reddit
Are you English? This screams English.
nightwolves@reddit
A good French Canadian version of this is peas & roux. Make a basic roux (flour & butter until golden) add milk, salt, pepper and thicken, then add canned peas. Dump over a plate spread with saltines. It’s really good.
Ptitdino@reddit
I'm from Quebec and never heard of this. Doesn't sounds bad though !
nightwolves@reddit
I’m in my 40s and it’s something my Memere would eat, so I think it’s an old person thing
fuzzyp1nkd3ath@reddit
Oh this is one of my favourite comfort meals.
I use frozen peas. A piece of toast with a little butter, and then pour the creamed peas over top. ....might make this for dinner actually.
JaironKalach@reddit
I might eat that, if there was enough salt and pepper on the peas... but I seriously just like to eat.
Sorry for your sitch, OP.
Blaze_Krayon@reddit
On top of the sadness, what a mess I'd think this would be. Peas just falling out as I take a bite
thenotjoe@reddit
I feel like this sandwich would be exactly the sum of its parts. Not contrasting, not enhancing each other, just… peas, and also sour cream, and also butter, and also bread,
lingophile1@reddit
Haha, look at the first pat of butter has pea residue in it from the first sandwich your mother made -- she made one for her and thought this is so tasty let's share it with my child. How sweet yet twisted!
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
how sweet yet twisted is the perfect phrase to describe my mom i think
lingophile1@reddit
Actually I love peas, and butter -- i think the mistake was she should've toasted the bread for a bit of a crunch
Wasparado@reddit
Omg. I thought they were capers. Peas are worse.
Crist1n4@reddit
Is your mom from one of the Soviet countries?
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
polish and czech
Crist1n4@reddit
That explains the sour cream and canned peas :) I would eat bread with sour cream and salt as a kid. Or mom would sometimes fry up some canned peas with salt and pepper and give me a slice of bread to eat with it.
Interesting-Cup9214@reddit
r/drunkencookery
TamarindSweets@reddit
Sorry to have to tell you OP, but your mom's nit just drunk, she's high af too. Can't even say what on bc no weed smoker I know had ever concocted some weird shit like this.
KenshinHimura3444@reddit
I hope you are at least British. But probably not; the peas aren't mashed.
Doctorjaws@reddit
Add some capers in there and it would be good I think
Cosmonaut_Cockswing@reddit
Was it good?
Kuylfr@reddit
What type of question is this
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
no :(
FreeTheDimple@reddit
Sorry, if you're 20, why not just make your own dinner?
Like, there's butter and bread in the house. You can't make toast?
Roosterbooi@reddit
I could tell just from looking at it
NanashiKaizenSenpai@reddit
Yea, the bread isn't toasted
_bexcalibur@reddit
Honestly that would definitely have made a world of difference in this sad, sad sammich
Realistic-Debate1594@reddit
I could have eaten the peas alone, the bread and butter together, and the sour cream a different evening. 🤷🏽♀️
EquivalentSnap@reddit
Im a sowwy 😭😢
Coastie_Cam@reddit
How old are you?
Raveen396@reddit
Honestly something like this can be pretty good with a few tweaks. Swap the sour cream for goat cheese, use fresh English peas, and some nice toasted bread. Ive done this when peas are in season and it’s pretty tasty.
whatevernamedontcare@reddit
Even butter not being in chunks would have helped. I think that person might not actually have taste buds or have damaged them with smoking or something.
cdsuikjh@reddit
Toast the bread at least haha
rectanguloid666@reddit
Bro this is absolutely foul hahaha well done
Night-The-Demon@reddit
Looks British
Ok_Channel_9831@reddit
Seems like a hangover recipe
Throwaway7387272@reddit
This would smack if it wasnt doused in neglect
Live_Industry_1880@reddit
You all sound privileged as fck if you think some peas / butter / sour cream and bread is "abomination food". This is perfectly edible and a 20yo whining about not getting the "perfect sandwich from mommy" ewww. Make your own damn food.
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
woah, this is a lot. that’s not at all what this post is. my mom made me a sandwich because feeding people is a love language. if you read some of my replies you would see that i appreciate and love my mother
katastrofuck@reddit
That sounds better then pea and mayo sandwiches i had to eat once when I was poor and had nothing else.
blonde_Cupid@reddit
They are peas. I thought they were capers lol
scroscrohitthatshit@reddit
Prolly doesn’t taste half bad if you’re drunk lol
Competition_Less@reddit
Could have had toast with buttered peas or something. God damn this is rough, sorry.
Peter_B_ParkinTicket@reddit
I hope you're learning how to cook
PunktWidzenia@reddit
British Cuisine
Flowkey_mma@reddit
Looks like it was made with love though.
I bet some hungry kids across the seas..would love them some of that instead of whatever they are "not" eating right now.
Primary-Border8536@reddit
So weird
Mr_Lunt_@reddit
Fuck
Ok_Primary_1075@reddit
Beats avocado toast?
friftar@reddit
Man, I've been drunk to all hell, and still managed to slop together something more appetizing.
Slap some toast in the toaster for like 2.5min, two fried eggs sunny easy, salt, pepper, fistful of pickled jalapenos, and a generous amount of shredded cheese on top. Add a layer of ham if you feel fancy. Pinch of smoked paprika for the gourmets.
Bilbo_Teabagginss@reddit
Man, this looks like some Oliver Twist type shit.
billy_zef@reddit
Imma go out on a limb and Britain has entered the chat.
wetworm1@reddit
It's like r/sandwichesofhistory only with a drunk mom...
_bexcalibur@reddit
Thanks for letting me know this is a sub. I loved his content and also Rolling for Sandwich but I haven’t used TikTok for ages.
wetworm1@reddit
I stumbled across him at the beginning of the year and completely loved it!
CC_99Lyss@reddit
Are you sure she was just drunk? lmao
Old_Ice_2911@reddit
I’d eat it
420ingly@reddit
Are you okay?
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
no but this didn’t help
Talullah_Belle@reddit
Assuming you aren't physically challenged, are you old enough to make breakfast for yourself like scrambled eggs (omelet with peas and cheese) so you don’t have to rely on your “drunk” mom?
Try2MakeMeBee@reddit
They're 20. Said elsewhere they can self care, are glad mom thought of them just that it’s a swing and a miss.
Talullah_Belle@reddit
Op says she’s not okay though. I hope you're right that she can self-care 🤷🏻♀️
Try2MakeMeBee@reddit
They don't say what it’s bc of (that I saw). Most of us ain't ok in one way or another.
Masculine_Teacup@reddit
If you ever decide to pursue stand-up comedy, at least you're getting some great material.
Satchbb@reddit
reminds me of that Mr. Show sketch about getting a lunch that was a sponge and some dice
dessertforbrunch@reddit
“ The gave me some beer and some frozen peas”
limbylegs@reddit
My shoes hurt
clegg1970@reddit
My shoes hurt too dad
clegg1970@reddit
My shoes hurt too dad
Lurkinator3000@reddit
Have you tried pulling up your socks?
thedrinkalchemist@reddit
Tofutti Breeeeaaak!!!
raspistoljeni@reddit
hugs
bemyantimatter@reddit
shrugs
27Rench27@reddit
Bugs
ahobbes@reddit
Shrimps is bugs
hamietao@reddit
Drugs
RedJacket2019@reddit
Yes please!
QueasyTeacher0@reddit
Roger that, 50g of miralax coming up
cazztron18@reddit
Thugs
Ill_Interview69@reddit
Nugs
Tpk08210@reddit
Slugs
mmmkay938@reddit
Pugs. How has nobody said pugs yet.
tkrr@reddit
Wugs
EquivalentSnap@reddit
lol 😂
mmmkay938@reddit
Sorry, friend. I really hope things get better for you.
usedtobeagrape@reddit
Fuggs this shishh
SnooGiraffes9272@reddit
i would cry
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
i almost did
Beanicus13@reddit
Just cook your own damn food lmao
Beanicus13@reddit
Lay off your mom and make your own dinner. 🙄 You’re 20 lmao.
AdagioPotential2425@reddit
Sorry folks. But that kinda looks good
Helga_Geerhart@reddit
So, how did it taste?
MotivationalMike@reddit
The peas do look well prepared.
Dependent-Ground-769@reddit
Made you? Are you grown? No need to be fake nice in this situation 🫤 I’d just decline. Gotta stand up for yourself
NCETCMBibi@reddit
Si sorry but why wait for her to cook? Make something for self!
AppropriateTouching@reddit
I'm calling the cops.
llcdrewtaylor@reddit
Your mom should check out these recipe ideas. Motorist Luncheon Ideas
Try2MakeMeBee@reddit
The affordability of various foods has certainly changed.
Can still afford the Nasturtium mayo sandwich tho… when it's in bloom lmao
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
one of our family recipes uses pork and veal to imitate chicken because chicken used to cost more
Try2MakeMeBee@reddit
That's wild, the veal at least.
My mom grew up on crab, that’s unheard of now. I've substituted staples with what was a luxury even 30y ago, bc I grow it & too expensive to buy what it called for. Until the family cattle farm shut down beef was by far the main protein source. We’d pay feed and butchering and get the best meats. Now hamburger is a somewhat rare treat. That’s all just in the last 50y, gets way more wild when you bring in my Grandparents and their parents (GGma was born 1916, only passed recent so I have less reference pre-WW).
ToxyFlog@reddit
Do you by chance live in the UK? Seems like an english thing to me.
North-Program-9320@reddit
I’d eat it
More_Button748@reddit
i’m not drunk but i would try this, minus the pads of butter
commoncanonfodder@reddit
Drunk or not it’s frankly insane not to just feed you buttered toast and peas. Sure that way you’re eating like a peanuts character on thanksgiving but at least it’s edible.
Constant_Notice_6716@reddit
Yeah I get if you are poor eat whatever you have I'm poor but if it's not meat, egg, peanut butter or jelly even just toast is better then that I'm ok with just the bread too
The_Mr_Yeah@reddit
They're saying it's the new avocado toast.
OffensiveWigger@reddit
I’ll send you money for McDonalds. Are you ok?
fiboooo@reddit
anyone else would it this? and appreciate it?
Kaiyukia@reddit
I feel like just butter and warm peas would kinda be a banger, where the heck did sour cream come from and way is it cold :/
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
i was hoping for cream cheese
Kaiyukia@reddit
Yeah cream cheese would probably be pretty good.
DarthKittens@reddit
Looks great you should give peas a chance
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
i was very curious and had faith but sadly it didn’t hit
CloverPatchMouse@reddit
I've made many Sad Struggle Meals, but they at least make a little sense, was she rolling a dice or something?? 😭
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
this was whatever she found in the fridge. probably close to grocery shopping time
wuzacuz@reddit
Is there a possibility your mom is pregnant? LOL
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
def not but sometimes i start to question it
maryjanerain@reddit
I think I’d accept most meat/cheese/veg combination sandwiches if presented to me. If this sandwich was offered to me I’d politely decline it.
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
i tried to decline it but feeding is a love language for her
DanJDare@reddit
I wanna hang out with your mom. She seems fun.
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
she’s fantastic you have no idea
Alone-Introduction74@reddit
How much wine made this appetizing in her mind?
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
she eats things like this sober too, the wine just makes her a little less skilled at the preparation
PaprikaMika@reddit
omg you are 20, make your own food lmao
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
i had already eaten dinner at this point, she just loves to share her creations with me lol
Euphorium@reddit
She didn’t even try to spread the butter. Peak shitty.
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
i’m assuming our butter dish was empty and she had to use fridge butter instead
peepantsking@reddit
Bud, you’re old enough to post on Reddit. You can make your own dinner.
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
this was not my dinner lol. she likes to make weird shit for a midnight snack and sometimes likes to share
LarenCoe@reddit
Grilling that would help, at least a little....
shelbaca@reddit
At least she feeds you
taylorthestang@reddit
Your mom rules
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
she’s my hero
RyeBreadBeats@reddit
Did your mother live through the Great Depression?
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
no but my great grandmother was a huge part of her life as a kid and she lived long enough to be a good part of my childhood too
Bruised_up_whitebelt@reddit
What in the British hellscape is this?
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
i’m american 😔
Bruised_up_whitebelt@reddit
Not after this abomination
Mr_Havok0315@reddit
Maybe cream cheese instead of sour cream and… I can’t believe I just rationalized this.
Tarrasch_@reddit
I would ask for a late abortion after that one
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
😭😭
StrangeSequitur@reddit
Saw the image before reading the text and thought it was capers. My disappointment is immeasurable.
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
exactly how i felt 😞
tacotacotacorock@reddit
Cheese and peas is perfectly acceptable. Swap that sour cream for some cheddar and it probably would have been palatable. Buttered toast and peas would have been a hundred times better.
sgt-lawlcats@reddit
I was hoping this could have been cream cheese and capers but SOUR CREAM and PEAS?!?!?!
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
that’s what i was hoping when she first gave it to me. the thing is we have all those ingredients in the house 🥲
ways_and_means@reddit
oh man I guess some day maybe you'll save up enough money and go to culinary school and come back and then you'll have learned how to spread cream cheese yourself
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
lmao what 😭
Earth2Monkey@reddit
The fact that she could have made a normal sandwich and chose this makes it so much funnier
Realistic-Debate1594@reddit
Next morning: Hey, Mom, do you remember that time you fed me sweet and sour peas on a shingle? 🙄
an_empty_field@reddit
All I can say about this is that some people should not be allowed to drink. Or reproduce.
toolrules@reddit
had these growing up at my house
wantonwontontauntaun@reddit
You English, m8?
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
no 😭 american but i’m devastated to have come off as english
Lepke2011@reddit
The English are famous for their cuisine... for all the wrong reasons.
GobLoblawsLawBlog@reddit
I think I've been watching too many spudbros videos because this doesn't look that bad to me
bitofafixerupper@reddit
It’s honestly not bad if you do it right, some of our comfort foods for cold nights when we can’t be arsed don’t look the most appetising but they hit the spot! Just have to season and cook properly and you’re golden.
GobLoblawsLawBlog@reddit
You talking about this pea sammich or the spuds?
bitofafixerupper@reddit
I thought you were talking about English food in general, I’m sleep deprived lol. Defo not the pea sandwich, but our spuds are nice, if you do them right our roasties are unreal
GobLoblawsLawBlog@reddit
Oh I don't really have a problem with English food, it's just some of the combinations seem wild to me as a Canadian. The jacket potatoes themselves seem fine with butter and cheese, but the spudbros videos were the first time I've seen beans or tuna go on a potato. They must be good though because they always have such a huge lineup
TheHemogoblin@reddit
Claims to be Canadian, calls them jacket potatoes... hmmm...
Seriously though, since I first heard them called that on Cuckoo (brit comedy show), I try to remember to call them that, I love it
GobLoblawsLawBlog@reddit
That would be an odd thing to lie about but I called them jacket potatoes because thats what the spudbros call them, you can see in another comment that I say baked potato too
TheHemogoblin@reddit
Haha yea, I was just messing around. I've never heard a fellow Canadian call it that, so I was poking fun :)
GobLoblawsLawBlog@reddit
I think I prefer spud to be honest, Jacket Potato is a mouthful
bitofafixerupper@reddit
Oh nooooo tuna on a jacket potato for me but I’m not into fish at all so I’m biased there. Cheese and beans on the other hand (with salt and pepper and butter obviously) is a firm yes from me
GobLoblawsLawBlog@reddit
I actually have a can of british style baked beans in the cupboard right now and I've got half a mind to get some potatoes in the morning
bitofafixerupper@reddit
Oooh go on lad (or lass)! Which brand are they? Salted full fat butter is best and if you can use red leister or cheddar those are the best cheese options! Please keep me updated I’m invested now lmao
GobLoblawsLawBlog@reddit
Heinz beans. I've never had red leister before but I may as well try to go full authentic if I can find it at the store. I'll try to remember to send you a picture and review tomorow lol
bitofafixerupper@reddit
Those are the ones I use if I’m getting branded! Otherwise I’ll use Asdas own but I doubt you’ll manage to get them lol. Heinz can be quite sugary but a lot less sugary than American beans so I’ve heard. Red leister is lovely, make sure you grate rather than slice. If your shop has lurpak butter even better!
GobLoblawsLawBlog@reddit
Heinz was the only one I noticed that said "British Style" but I actually picked them up specifically because they had nearly half the sugar and salt than the regular ones. I don't think I've ever seen Asdas own brand here before. Haven't seen lurpak either but I'll put that on the list. I've never looked forward to a baked potato so much haha
bitofafixerupper@reddit
I need to check my beans and see if they say British style 🤣 I’m so excited for you! Just a tip, I mix a bit of grated cheese into the beans as they’re on the hob too as it thickens it up a bit, that’s very much preference though!
GobLoblawsLawBlog@reddit
I would assume yours just say beans lol I'm sure it'll be kinda funny to see it written on the can so I'll include it in a pic later. I was just planning on microwaving the beans, I'll throw some cheese in there
bitofafixerupper@reddit
I’ll have a look and let you know lol. Oh noooo not the microwave, I can’t take it (half joking lmao) they’re best on the hob but I’m sure they’ll still be okay in the microwave.
GobLoblawsLawBlog@reddit
Is there actually a difference? I'll throw it on the stove for the experience
bitofafixerupper@reddit
I feel like it makes them thicker and stodgier in a good way if that makes sense when they’re done on the stove. Nothing stopping you trying both ways though and seeing what you prefer! I might be imagining the difference and making life harder for myself for no reason lol
GobLoblawsLawBlog@reddit
Looks like I have no choice now
SFDessert@reddit
Room temperature water and mushy peas.
wantonwontontauntaun@reddit
My sincere condolences. This is a doozy.
goawaybatn@reddit
Came here wondering. Shook that they’re not.
deepfield67@reddit
Nah them peas is seasoned.
taylorthestang@reddit
The tastiest food in Britain
SmallPalpatations@reddit
I would try it ngl
lickmybowls2@reddit
Even on my worst days, I couldn’t imagine coming up with this meal
misstiffie@reddit
I mean… it’s creative I guess?
biggiebigsbig22@reddit
Nice plates love the color
slugdeezy@reddit
I'm assuming she's caucasian 🤷🏿♂️😁
cabo169@reddit
I see she has enough money for wine but not a decent meal. She needs some help.
Jumpy_Wait5187@reddit
Get your mom on the wagon
AggressiveEvening811@reddit
I think a nice piece of meat or fish would make this sandwich great. Although butter and sour cream make it a lil strange
BadHairDay-1@reddit
I am sorry .
No_Tomatillo1553@reddit
I just want to there, there you and feed you some lasagna.
RaspberryExpensive@reddit
Make your own dinner
WorkingInAColdMind@reddit
That could only be made worse if it was canned asparagus. Or maybe velveeta. Stay strong!
mark1forever@reddit
hell no😆
mcdulph@reddit
OP, if you are a minor…consider telling a trusted adult about your situation. That’s unacceptable behavior from a parent.
Singl1@reddit
british cuisine
Hot_Routine7505@reddit
This is a cry for help. She’s needs an intervention yesterday.
Ante0@reddit
How old are you?
radskyweasel@reddit
Damn, the drunk parents making food for their kids (even if adults) isn’t funny. It’s fucking sad and disturbing. Insane how normalized drinking issues have become.
flavorsaid@reddit
No, he is an ungrateful brat and needs to make his own food. He had a nsfw profile but complaining about his mom’s food ? Sounds spoiled I bet he is at least 16.
HappyInTaffy@reddit
If you're old enough to post on the internet you're old enough to make your own damn food lol
flavorsaid@reddit
One day you will be old enough to cook for yourself. Most 8 year old children can make a sandwich, hope you get there someday.
Z31DinglefarbZ31@reddit
Scarethefish@reddit
hiccup Look, sometimes you just gotta get too drunk and pee the bread. . . hic
bkedsmkr@reddit
Laugh all you want she's covering all the major food groups with little to no effort
The1TruRick@reddit
To be fair to her I bet this slaps super hard if you’re wasted
LeSaunier@reddit
Being drunk is no excuse for that kind of terrible "food". I'd not want to eat her food even when she's sober.
trashbort@reddit
Must be tough having your arms broken
jimbalaya420@reddit
Time to make yourself dinner
jimbalaya420@reddit
Make your own ffs
Unusual_Step_6023@reddit
Something about this sounds kind good to me idk why lol
Jawz050987@reddit
I can’t even believe this is real
3rdaccountsofuckit@reddit
Are those capers? This could kind of check out if it's capers instead of cold peas
LadyDayinDC@reddit
Child abuse
Psymei@reddit
I would eat this, to be fair. Perhaps slap some soya sauce and nutritional yeast on it. Nice cup of tea as a follow up.
Your mum sounds lovely.
Leading_Funny5802@reddit
Sorry, but I’ve eaten these myself. I mean … at least she’s making sure you ate. My mom was an acid/stoner head, and many a dinner was weird mixes like artichokes and canned ravioli. I mean …. 🤷♀️
paythefullprice@reddit
Idk what mom was smoking to think artichoke and ravioli go together but I've paid lots of money to get that fucked up. I'll take a oz of it rn.
cheffromspace@reddit
Artichokes and pasta is a pretty common thing.
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
occasionally she’d come up with an absolute banger of a meal and it would be the best night
SlurmmsMckenzie@reddit
Other nights? Sweetpea bread.
She was wacky like that.
BaconNamedKevin@reddit
You okay OP? Serious question. Spent too many nights eating trash food from an drunk parent. Hopefully it's a one time thing for you.
aroyalidiot@reddit
Not going to lie. I'm wine drunk right now, and I think your mom is onto something with that sando
melne11@reddit
Right? I’m not drunk or high (yet-it’s still early) and I’m thinking it’s kind of fire. I’d probably spread the butter better, warm up the peas, and add some garlic salt. But I’d eat it.
aroyalidiot@reddit
Yeah some grated garlic would be perfect for the sandwich, or some shredded parm, it may be weird b but the flavors already have solid foundation just with the peas, butter and cream
Choice-Block3991@reddit
Oh dear! Lol
timehasawayof@reddit
I know this looks horrifying but I kind of get it. My grandma made me depression snacks like this growing up and I think canned peas slap. She should have toasted the bread though
Sargash@reddit
It's not the WORST. A little toasting and I'm sure it's uh. At least not depressing, right?
Pristine_Serve5979@reddit
Those peas aren’t going to stay in that sandwich.
Expensive_Match_7021@reddit
Oh hell nah, run mf
nanabozho2@reddit
OP is 20 and complained they don’t like the meal their mom made for them...
sarbanharble@reddit
This looks like a Kendrick Lamar lyric
cr9926@reddit
You've got the beginnings of an awesome Thanksgiving leftovers sandwich there! Just add stuffing and gravy.
nanabozho2@reddit
If you are old enough to have a Reddit account, you are old enough to cook for yourself. At least she made something for you. You sound ungrateful
Lonely_ProdiG@reddit
There is only 1 food that holds my public enemy #1 slot. That would be canned peas. Trigger bad memories from 27 years ago,
Tronkfool@reddit
OP. Blink twice if you are being abused.
vaydevay@reddit
This is the sandwich I would make for someone if I was tired of making them sandwiches and I wanted them to get up and start making their own sandwiches.
SpitefulBitch@reddit
This reminds me of that time I tried one of my then-coworker’s pea snaps and then spent the next 5 minutes in the dish pit trying not to spew. Moral of this story is don’t eat things made of peas. They are foul and I would rejoice if they went extinct.
austinmadethis@reddit
This was close to a menu item from a recent Vintage Menus post the other day… lots of weird sandwich combos back then.
its1995@reddit
I would tear this up ngl 😭
Active_Illustrator71@reddit
My completely sober aunt once made me a baked potato with butter and either Swiss or provolone and straight from the can peas, not even warmed up, the cheese not even melted, cold from the fridge. That was the first and last time I went to her house for dinner. I felt so sick afterwards. I'm not even picky when it comes to food but some things just shouldn't be made. I would also like to add I do love mashed potatoes and peas but this was nothing like that. Peas weren't even seasoned. I'm having flashbacks 😭
Ok_Duck_9338@reddit
Did you cross post to r/drunkencookery?
uninstallIE@reddit
Did you consider making your own dinner lol
YRob_Redditor3@reddit
I hate to break it to you. But your mom, doesn’t love you or your insides…clearly 😂
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
i thought she was joking at first 😭
YRob_Redditor3@reddit
I’m rooting for you, champ. This isn’t the end!
kayhatis@reddit
Man, I thought those were capers at first.
Naive-Most590@reddit
You’re 20, make the woman some damn food.
Pickledpeppers19@reddit
I just feel so bad for you lol. No one should have that abomination set before them. Good on you for giving it a go, and still loving your mum. You’re a stronger person than me.
techno_rade@reddit
I got an ad for alcohol under this
ch3nk0@reddit
Damn, let mama have a day off
matreo987@reddit
meal like the germans are still flying overhead
Quarktasche666@reddit
The butter is an abomiation. Who eats their sandwich like this?!
That-Improvement-996@reddit
Can I get the recipe
TheTrueFoolsGambit@reddit
Was she trying to make cream peas on toast?
EFTucker@reddit
I’m sorry but I’d smash that. I’d heat the peas first tho. But if I had to do it cold, I’d still enjoy it I think.
arthurdentstowels@reddit
Next time your mother is about to make you food tell her you want Cheesy Peas!
eatmeoutt@reddit
I’d eat it 🤣
Zeo-Gold92@reddit
This is the most depressing sandwich I've ever seen. At least gimme some cheese so I can scrape these peas away 😋
a_lake_nearby@reddit
This would probably be delicious
Raul1024@reddit
This is a crime against food!
danceswithhotdogs@reddit
Not trying to be a jerk… but… if you can post, you can make your own sandwich? Possible without peas and the weird mix of ingredients.
Cool_Ad9326@reddit
I do this but with mushy peas and I'll not skimp on the gravy neither
SokkaHaikuBot@reddit
^Sokka-Haiku ^by ^Cool_Ad9326:
I do this but with
Mushy peas and I'll not skimp
On the gravy neither
^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Cool_Ad9326@reddit
So it's a shit haiku...
There's a shit haiku bot...
ChillCommissar@reddit
Whew, alcoholism, the meal.
megadeadly@reddit
The chunks of butter
mirhex-toldex@reddit
Please tell me you’re located in UK
phisigtheduck@reddit
I mean, who hasn’t had a drunken questionable meal? That’s the whole reason Taco Bell still exists.
HandyLighter@reddit
I mean has no one had pea salad!?? This is very similar to a southern recipe my grandma made as a side dish. It consists of canned peas, Mayo, boiled eggs, pickle relish, salt and pepper. I think it’s good!
back9iron@reddit
I’m sorry your mom hates you.
halvmesyr@reddit
If it would have been cream cheese and thawed frozen peas this would be great. Throw some lemon zest and chili flakes on it as well.
This however is something else
Night_Trip@reddit
Bruh, I’m so sorry you had to deal with that damn
black-kramer@reddit
at least toast the bread.
psymeariver@reddit
If those peas were warm, that would be pretty good. Just throw the whole thing in an air fryer, so that the cheese melts too.
DoOrDoLess@reddit
Hey if you wanna talk about life or need s shoulder dm me
Stunning-Wheel-8149@reddit
i feel bad. 🤍
namepuntocome@reddit
How much "wine" are we talking about here? thats INSANE.
Naive_Ad6062@reddit
Cat food is right around the corner
TheThrowawayman1234@reddit
6 bottles it had to be 6 bottles
Venge22@reddit
If it was just peas and butter and the bread was roasted it might be ok
CrazyinLull@reddit
I have been drunk on multiple hard liquors at once and not even ONCE.
SokkaHaikuBot@reddit
^Sokka-Haiku ^by ^CrazyinLull:
I have been drunk on
Multiple hard liquors at
Once and not even ONCE.
^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
warrior_3@reddit
some people never had a mother who care to cook for them even once
SokkaHaikuBot@reddit
^Sokka-Haiku ^by ^warrior_3:
Some people never
Had a mother who care to
Cook for them even once
^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Realistic-Debate1594@reddit
Good bot
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smegma_stan@reddit
On the flip, you could have made buttered toast with a sour cream and mushy pea spread...sorry about that sandwich though
MaleficentScarcity99@reddit
Inflation got people acting up
tkrr@reddit
It’s so close to being something good… if the bread was toasted and the peas were frozen instead of canned…
unclejoe1917@reddit
I don't care if you're 40 and she's 70, this is child abuse and you need to call CPS.
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
lol i find it a little endearing, even after a long night of partying, she still made me a plate
socksandshots@reddit
hugs you and your drunk mum
Put out some water for her.
Leading_Funny5802@reddit
I love this answer ♥️
Immediate_Box_9959@reddit
I offer Street Dad™ services where I can come by and cook you some Dino-nuggies with mac 'n cheese and we all play board games until me and your mom are too drunk.
Zestyclose_Fix4063@reddit
Yummy
OkBarnacle6383@reddit
How old are you?
Ptitdino@reddit
Oh boy I thought it was capers on bread
Zephies90@reddit
I know your pain all too well
thebotbul@reddit
whatever wine your mom was drinking, she needs to never sip that again.
The-Prolific-Acrylic@reddit
Looks alright tbh
DuskActual@reddit
This is worthy of our sub. Shitty food for sure 💯
Hayward_S_Cayenne@reddit
thought those were capers at first
CoupleScrewsLoose@reddit
bros eating better than me
Savage_hamsandwich@reddit
I mean...... it's food!
Rivka333@reddit
The fact that the butter is just cold un-spread chunks
orchidaceae007@reddit
That’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen. I’m so sorry.
milk_steak420@reddit
Honestly looks like shit. Butttt slap a lil hot sauce on there and it prolly won’t be that bad. Maybe pop that puppy in the oven.
IamProvocateur@reddit
I too am a drunk mother. Gotta tell ya, rn that sammich sounds and looks mighty tasty.
Luci_Cooper@reddit
That’s horrifying
phatgirlz@reddit
lol my mom would get drunk and make us shit with cold peas too
werewilf@reddit
Honestly if there’s pepper, even on a series of malformed ingredients, I’m going to eat it. But yeah, that looks like trash.
Mammoth-Slide-3707@reddit
Make your own dinner then, you're big enough and ugly enough to do it on your own at this point
DesignerTex@reddit
I can't tell if this started from some high highfalutin wine lunch type meal (fresh pea finger sandwich) or something from the trailer park......
Ok_Understanding5184@reddit
My wine drunk mom used to like to take turns calling all her sisters to talk shit on the others sequentially while polishing off a whole box of Franzia Zinfandel. Learn to cook buddy.
KyberShard@reddit
She forgot the nacho cheese and peanut butter
mihir_lavande@reddit
:(
weird_andgilly@reddit
I’ve eaten weirder shit
12ValveMatt@reddit
You sicken me.
Tre_Fo_Eye_Sore@reddit
Maybe she’s trying to get you to leave. Or at least make your own dinner.
HerbalNinja84@reddit
If you were a child, I would feel bad for you. But as you stated you’re 20 years old, so I don’t know, make your own food?
RichardNyxn@reddit
If the bread was toasted, it MIGHT make this slop more bearable.
MonstersinHeat@reddit
This belongs on /r/shittyparents
Friendly_Schedule_12@reddit
Bro you're 20 get over it 😭😭😂🤣
-lastochka-@reddit
actually looks pretty good
whiskeyriver@reddit
You poor thing. I'm very sorry.
beatboxbilliam@reddit
That is one of the worst things I've ever seen. I would vomit.
ThatsRobToYou@reddit
"No thanks. I had pea sandwich for lunch."
Introverted-headcase@reddit
Ever had cream tuna on toast
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
of all the struggle meals i’ve eaten, that’s one of my favorite
PureAction6@reddit
Well she actually seasoned the peas well, that’s still more than most people do 😂.
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
it was a nice touch lol
dbk1ng@reddit
A green mush sandwich yum
karatebanana@reddit
I am so sorry
ParticularAd4371@reddit
seeing this makes me glad that neither of my parents drink alcohol.
biradinte@reddit
Doesn't sound that bad tbh
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
i knew it was bad the second my first instinct was to photograph evidence
TRIGMILLION@reddit
If it was warm I'd probably eat it.
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
i had that thought but the first bite was enough to deter me from trying again
mikjjm@reddit
I’d eat that ngl
No_Koala5728@reddit (OP)
i had faith but it was misplaced i guess
SteveBR53@reddit
Ugh
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