Have you ever (ideally successfully) consulted a psychic to speak to a loved one?

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7ootles@reddit

Without meaning to crass, you need to let go. Just look at a photo of him, tell him you miss him, and continue trying to be a person he'd be proud of. Mayhap you'll reunite one day, and when that day comes you can speak and catch up then. It's OK to miss a person after they die, but if you want them back to this degree, that means you feel they didn't do a complete job. That aside, there are legitimate mediums/seers around - but they're extremely rare and you're not going to find one by looking or putting the word out. If you do happen across one, they're not likely to be too particular about money, either.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

Keeping a ‘maybe we’ll meet one day’ hope is surely as deluded as seeing a psychic? Being someone my dad would be proud of would mean blowing my inheritance in vegas - so, no, he’s not going to be proud of me and certainly wasn’t while he was alive! But he did like me, at least, and we laughed a lot.

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7ootles@reddit

You could argue that any kind of faith or hope is deluded if you're cynical enough.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

Can’t really tell what you’re advising. - let him go + maybe you’ll reunite and speak (!) - you won’t find a medium by putting the word out + there are legitimate mediums out there - having no hope of faith in the afterlife is a sign of cynicism but no one should seek a medium

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ColourfulSmarties@reddit

My mum went to one years ago just after a loss in the family, she said they told her things that she’d never shared with anyone and was convinced it was a message and it did bring her a bit of comfort and a bit of closure on a situation. I wasn’t there so can’t contest what was said and whether it was just vague advice or “messages” they give to everyone. Personally I don’t give them the time of day but if you think it will help your grief or healing journey and you are willing to spend on it, then I don’t see the harm in it but please just manage your expectations going into it.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

Thank you! It’s interesting that you use the word closure as it makes me wonder if the reason I haven’t done it so far, is because I want to keep things open ? Maybe the idea of it is actually the comfort, I really hate the idea of wrapping anything up. I also didn’t have a funeral for my dad which was his wish but also is mine for my own death. You may have solved this one 😍

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ColourfulSmarties@reddit

Whatever you decide to do I really do hope you can find your peace, just remember there is no timeline on grief, it comes and it goes. While you didn’t have an official funeral, you could still maybe have a celebration of life or remembrance event, this could be something you do with family, reminiscing about old times or something you could do on your own just maybe by laying flowers at his favourite spot or even just lighting a candle in his memory. Good luck with your healing journey.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

I did have an informal gathering with family when he died - he wanted his ashes scattered in a particular country … Covid hit and I got used to having him around! I will do it one day.

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frenzy1801@reddit

Please don't give any money to a psychic who says he can contact your Dad. And never repeat to them that "I have plenty of money... so I'm not hugely worried about being cheated" because you *will* be cheated. I'm sorry if it sounds brutal, but there are no psychics. I'll acknowledge that there *may* be people who genuinely believe that they are, but the vast bulk of people you'll encounter are simply frauds. They will open by looking to see if you're happy to pay, and follow up by trying to find out how much you *can* pay, then proceed to find ways of continually bleeding your money. Please don't go down this path.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

specifically I’m asking if individuals have had positive experiencew. I know that Reddit always spins up lots of opinions that ignore the question in the post - but I’m telling you my preference here, I’m happy to pay for a chance , I’m just don’t want to pay for no chance. So you could tell me all the times you have been to a psychic and it’s been useless, or you could tell me all the times you haven’t been to a psychic because it’s a fraud …. But you wouldn’t be answering my post or my question.

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Valuable-Wallaby-167@reddit

So, what you're saying is you don't want to hear people's true experiences, you only want ones that will validate what you want to hear? I mean go see a psychic if you want to mate because you've already decided to believe them anyway.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

Most of these aren’t true experiences, they’re true opinions … but yes, I wasn’t trying to run a study on psychic abilities - my expectation is, of course, that few actually have if any, (esp as this is an ask about consulting a psychic with that goal in mind). If I put a post asking has anyone had a great Chinese under a tenner, not super helpful to have 100 responses saying ‘there aren’t any’ and then refuting the one that says they did.

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Valuable-Wallaby-167@reddit

So if someone claimed they had a great Chinese but other people pointed out they had a food hygiene rating of 0 and were actually selling dog food that wouldn't be helpful?

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

If they had been to that specific Chinese, it would be helpful - but no, if they had a generic opinion that any Chinese under £10 was selling dog food, not helpful.

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Valuable-Wallaby-167@reddit

If there had been various studies to find out if Chinese's under £10 was selling dog food (apologies to all the Chinese owners out there, this is just an analogy) and every single one was, then it's not just an opinion. Every psychic is scamming you, because psychic powers aren't real. Now, you might feel better after seeing one anyway so if it helps then go for it, but don't seek validation that some might be real and get annoyed at people trying to protect you from con artists.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

correlation doesn’t imply causation 😊 But in fact, the comparable study in this case would answer the question, was a person comforted by the thing a psychic said - or did the person feel this Chinese was delicious and was it actually under £10. Not - and was it actually dog food?

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Valuable-Wallaby-167@reddit

> correlation doesn’t imply causation 😊 It does when it's 100% correlation. Also, it often does imply causation anyway, that comment makes no sense in this context. Remember the specific thing were actually talking about here is whether psychics have been shown to be real. The fact that not a single one has ever managed to prove their powers is strong evidence that they're not real. You specifically said you didn't want to finance charlatans. That implies that you don't just care if the psychic makes you feel better or not, you want one that's not a charlatan. That's not possible.

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frenzy1801@reddit

All I can say is you do you. No, no-one has *ever* successfully consulted a psychic to speak to a loved one. Any claims to the contrary are simply wrong. Maybe you'll be the first. I hope you are. I doubt it, but I hope I'm wrong. On the other hand, you seem to know what responses you want. That's fine. Just please try and recall that responses that validate your desires are pretty much certainly 100% bullshit.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

So odd. I’ve literally said that I’m looking for positive experiences. None ( or few ) gives me the answer. Numerous responses saying ‘I haven’t!’ aren’t super helpful. I have to read them all!

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TSC-99@reddit

There’s your answer then. No. No one has had a good experience.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

Actually I’ve found one so far …. still trawling through the numerous responses , like yours, that ignore the question.

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Thandoscovia@reddit

Do you find that odd? You’re asking for positive information but all you get is negativity? Maybe there is a deeper meaning or background to this one-sided review?

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BriefAmphibian7925@reddit

Many people have claimed to provide this as a service for years. None of them ever won the Randi Prize and few even attempted it. Many famous "psychics" have been thoroughly debunked. So even if such a thing is possible, the chance of any particular "psychic" you choose actually being real is vanishingly small.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

I’m not looking for unequivocal proof that the afterlife exists. That would be beyond Reddit, I’ll leave that to studies. What I can believe is that some people are more intuitive than others, and by picking up on your feelings or words, can tell you something that you don’t know that you know.

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JoinMyPestoCult@reddit

Nobody has had a positive experience in that they have successfully had contract with the deceased. But many people have had comfort from believing they have received messages. You’re clearly looking for that kind of confirmation and you will find it because you are looking for hits and will ignore the misses. I’m not sure what will help you “erase the idea” since you’re avoiding answers telling you it’s not a real thing. You have money to spare, you’re an ideal “client”. Just go for it.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

I think you understand what I’m getting at, but I’m asking whether people have actually had that positive feeling after seeing a psychic ; and what drove the positivity - I’m assuming in most cases, best you could hope for would a bland ‘they knew you loved them’ …

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JoinMyPestoCult@reddit

Yes I know that’s what you’re asking for. You’ll find it. Maybe not so much on Reddit. But lots of people do it. What drives the positivity is that they hear nice comforting things and they believe they are coming from their dead relative. Nobody is coming back with messages like “I didn’t really love you, son” or “I’m in never ending agony for all the bad things I did”.

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Underwritingking@reddit

No. Don't waste your money. At the very, very best you'll be giving it to somebody who is self-deluded, but much, much more likely to an outright cheat

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

And yet we live in a country where religious objectives are considered charitable, those are robbing us of taxes every second of every day, and create more deluded individuals!!!

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Agreeable_Fig_3713@reddit

No but I did sort of have one anyway. Went with a pal to have a reading (like one of those ones where they tell you you’re going to marry a Braw lad and have five kids) while I was down visiting and didn’t know anyone. I’m not really a believer and my pal wanted me to get a reading too but I’d said no and just waited for her. When she came out her and this woman were having a wee chat before we left and this woman out of nowhere said “your gran says it’s in the family Bible but don’t give it to your mum”. My gran had left the first daughter of first daughter heirlooms to me and bypassed my mum (coz she’s a money oriented minimalist who would sell everything) and I’d been looking for stuff from my great grandparents. Sure enough it was in the family Bible and she was bloody right about not giving it to my mum.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

Wow, I love it. I should have added that my mum has moments of insight, random things, like dreaming the death of a friend. I feel since I’m not so invested, I’d enjoy the experience and the hope of a message.

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Agreeable_Fig_3713@reddit

Tbh it was a bit surreal for me. I’m more of a ‘you’re fine and the worms get what’s left’ type of thinker but I wasn’t from that area so there’s not really any way this woman would have known.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

A friend told me that if you believe in intuition, it’s the same. I don’t really believe in the afterlife but I can believe that we know more than we know. So my easiest answer is that you knew this somehow but hadn’t articulated it ; and a stranger was able to tap into it … rather than that someone external was able to tell you. Either way, it’s fascinating

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Agreeable_Fig_3713@reddit

Hmm. I don’t really know how I would know it. The family Bible was packed away when I started primary school and before that it was kept on a high shelf and children were not allowed our grubby paws on it. The thing I was looking for was also paperwork from WWI and WWII medals which I wouldn’t have been able to read or understand at the time. Maybe she was the online buyer my mum was trying to flog them to though

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

Sorry if it sounds as though I’m saying it can’t be evidence of an afterlife, that’s not what I mean… for me it’s easier to grasp that there are energies that we were exposed to but didn’t translate, eg an overheard comment or a furtive glance. But I don’t discount all the other interpretations!

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Agreeable_Fig_3713@reddit

No no. I just don’t understand it myself. I’m from the north of Scotland, my whole maternal family are. I visited a pal in Leicester in England and this happened. It just doesn’t make sense.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

I meant that your family don’t know that they know something and the psychic is able to tap into their energy , literally a sixth sense rather than actually a message between the living and dead. Essentially, I think some people can be deeply intuitive, and in that way tell you something you know, but don’t know that you know.

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terahurts@reddit

Your friend was literally talking to her a few minutes before. Unless you were in the room for their reading there was plenty of opportunity for your friend to give away loads of information about you without realising they were doing so.

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SnooSnooSnuSnu@reddit

>oh my gosh, I would love to have any inkling from him Someone's going to take advantage of that...

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

How exactly though? It has been 5 years, and this death doesn’t have any mysteries to make it a cash cow …

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SnooSnooSnuSnu@reddit

Take advantage of your "Oh my gosh" enthusiasm and desire.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

I think of all the people grieving for loved ones, I’m not the vulnerable demographic. My dad died at an appropriate age, after a long illness, and leaving no secrets behind, not interesting ones anyway! Having friends who have lost their children, I am conscious that I don’t want to supplement total charlatans - but I can’t see a world where I would need repeated assurances from a psychic; I would just love it if a stranger could tap into my dad’s energy, somehow

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Valuable-Wallaby-167@reddit

No offence, but you clearly are vulnerable to charlatans, because you're contemplating going to see a charlatan. This is like someone starting smoking and saying it's fine because they don't have an addictive personality.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

Yes it is like, don’t most people smoke at least once and comparatively few smoke forever?

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leninzen@reddit

A stranger can't tap into your dad's energy

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Darkheart001@reddit

I understand that you may well have a deep need to have one last word with a departed loved one and do respect that. However it’s something you are just never going to truly get. There are plenty of people out there who will try to make money out of that and they are exploiting you. I would drop this idea, celebrate the life that person had, do something they would want you to do and live your life. I would be deeply suspicious of anyone offering to enable you to contact someone that has died, they will use all sorts of tricks to try to appear legit, they are almost certainly not. Particularly if they think you have plenty of money to throw around, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve been contacted by someone already offering some kind of scam.

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stopthebiofilms@reddit

Not to sound harsh, but there will be plenty of people willing to take your money and tell you something that is so vague and generically “fatherly advice” that it seems plausible. But they’re scamming you. There are skeptics who have put vast sums of money on offer to anyone who can objectively prove they are psychic/can talk to the dead etc. . E.g. James Randi or Derren Brown. No one has proven in a controlled setting, that the specific dead person they claim to speak to has said something of any specificity. E.g. a secret they only told their spouse, or details of a holiday beyond general knowledge. Basically, “psychics” will do something called cold reading which in short is educated guessing based of what you tell them and probability. The thought that your dad is looking out for you from an afterlife may comfort you and that’s yours to cherish and get strength from. But I will stand by the point that there is no proof we can communicate with them, giving money for that is daft.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

I agree, but I think I’d get some comfort from a sh1tty reading anyway…. I’m not about to gamble any fortunes here. But of course I don’t want to finance charlatans noting that their usual demographic are so vulnerable

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Itchy_Harlot58008@reddit

Going to tuck this in here: those that you pay for a reading are more likely to make it up. See about attending a local spiritualist church. Check out their services and see what they have on. They’re not in it for the money, far from it. Beware that they tend to ask for light cash donations during services, so best to bring a few bob. The irony of saying that after the last sentence isn’t lost on me, but considering their costs, these donations aren’t paying anyone’s wages.

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jdsuperman@reddit

> those that you pay for a reading are more likely to make it up Are you suggesting that there's any alternative??

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stopthebiofilms@reddit

I mean, it’s your money! Personally, I would say it’s better spent on a few drinks with family/someone who knew him and having a drink in his honor. If drink’s not your thing, a meal in his favourite restaurant/cuisine. But everyone deals with grief differently and whatever helps, helps. I will point out that the psychic thing can be addictive. I doubt you’re at as much risk seeing as your bereavement is not a recent, but my dad’s ex spent a small fortune “talking” to her nan. No amount of convincing could snap her out of it, it nearly ruined her life and sanity. Extreme case for sure, but a cautionary tale nonetheless. Whatever you choose, I hope you feel better for it.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

Thank you, I do see this is as something somewhat frivolous - half a hope and half a proof that ‘dad, I tried!’

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SnooSnooSnuSnu@reddit

>But of course I don’t want to finance charlatans noting that their usual demographic are so vulnerable "their usual demographic"...

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CaptainPedge@reddit

No. Nobody has. In the history of humanity, literally zero people have ever done this.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

No one has had a positive experience from a psychic? Surely probability indicates that someone has.

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CaptainPedge@reddit

No. Because psychics don't fucking exist. Anyone claiming to be one is lying to you to scam you out of money. They are evil people who prey on the vulnerable at their lowest times.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

Whether psychics exist or not, someone can have a comforting experience (in the same way that you might feel better after speaking to a priest)

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lonehorizons@reddit

Based on your replies here it sounds like you may as well get a friend to pretend to be psychic and say nice things to you, and you’d probably be happy with that. I’m not trying to be horrible, I lost my mum when I was 25, but whether or not god and heaven are real, there’s zero evidence anyone has ever spoken with the dead. It sounds like a kind of unhealthy way of dealing with your grief. My advice is to accept you can’t talk to him anymore and remember the good times you had with him, but try to accept he’s part of your past now, his time is over.

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CaptainPedge@reddit

>Or are all priests evil too? Many of them are, yes.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

But you can, I hope, see that irrespective of intent, one may feel comforted by speaking to someone who believes in afterlife … I don’t think that is controversial

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CaptainPedge@reddit

Fine. Be taken advantage of. Let someone scam and abuse you.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

Likely less depressing than this interaction

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Extreme-Kangaroo-842@reddit

Me and my mates made a pact in 1996 that if any one of us died we would try to reach one another in the afterlife. We were all nearly 30 at the time. All of us were adamant that if one of us went early we would let each other know, whatever stood in our way, that we were alright in the afterlife, or just give a sniff that there was something else out there. My best mate ever died on New Years Eve 2010. He has never been in touch. I have vivid dreams and he's never entered one.

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lonehorizons@reddit

Harry Houdini (who was a massive skeptic and debunker of mediums) and his wife had a code word that they agreed whoever died would convey to the surviving one through a medium if there was an afterlife and mediums were genuine. After he died his wife kept going to mediums and none of them told her the code word.

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alexluf@reddit

Yes. About 8 years ago, my cousin had passed away unexpectedly. She had a baby 1 week before she was hit by a car as she was walking on a sidewalk. Everyone was distraught and wanted answers. Well, 2 of my aunts (one of which is her mother, M, and the other aunt we'll call C), her sister (L), and best friend (S) went to see a psychic in New Jersey. When C had called to schedule a time, all she told the psychic was that someone had passed. No details such as gender, name, location, age, how the death occurred, nothing. Side story, but relevant - I had two dreams with my cousin in them. In the first dream, she had walked into a room I was already standing in. We sat at a little bistro table and there was an older man with glasses standing with her (I didn't recognize him) and it seemed as though he was there to comfort her. She kept telling me I needed to leave the man I was currently in a relationship with (he was emotionally and physically abusive, but he was a firefighter/paramedic, so I kept arguing that he'll change, he's just stressed). Then after going back and forth a bit, she stood up and the man put his hands on her shoulders as she put her face in her hands. He guided her out and I woke up. The second dream I can't remember as well, but I know we spoke. Well, a couple weeks later it was Thanksgiving, so the whole family was together. C told me what happened with the psychic: She, M, L, and S get to the house a little early and they hear the psychic making these growling noises. Someone else answers the door and said she was preparing for the session. The psychic comes to the door a few minutes later and says "She only wants to talk to you two", pointing to L and M. But she said my aunt and her best friend were allowed to come in. They sit on a couch and the psychic says, "She wants me to tell you that she likes your necklace, but she seems cheeky about it". This is because the necklace was my cousins, and she was just pointing it out. The psychic proceeds to say that my cousin is standing by an older man with glasses, and he seems to be comforting her. The psychic also discusses a little girl standing by my cousin, she was about 5 or 6 years old. Well, only myself, her sister, and best friend knew she had a miscarriage about 6 years before. The psychic also discussed some very personal things that happened between my cousin and her sister, things that you couldn't guess or elude to. I told L about my first dream and she flew back in her seat and gasped. She said, "The psychic saw R (my cousin) standing next to someone and we didn't know who he was. We were all kinda freaked out". So I described him in more detail and she said it was her maternal grandfather, someone I had never met (her dad is my mom's brother, so I wasn't too familiar with her mother's side of the family). The psychic saw the same person as I had and she knew much more information than you could find online or trick someone into eluding to. She made me a believer, because there's just no other explanation.

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

Thank you for your response, so well written - we have had some things happen in our family but so hard to explain succinctly! But a

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leninzen@reddit

I don't like to be this person because people can believe whatever but please don't give money to someone who claims to be able to speak to your father. You're probably in the best place to contact him if you believe that kind of this is possible.

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alexluf@reddit

Mediums work with spirit. That is evidence for the medium of existence beyond death. As one of the mediums on this sub, I can say the fact I work with spirit is my personal proof. As far as medium recommendations are concerned, we do recommend you look in [](https://www.reddit.com/r/MediumReadings/) and on [](https://www.reddit.com/r/PsychicServices/) for recommendations for verified psychics.

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leninzen@reddit

It isn't "fact" at all.

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macandcheesefan45@reddit

You could go to the spiritualist church?

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Any-Establishment-99@reddit (OP)

Yes, rather not invest in a group experience - it’s more an hour long commitment that I’m looking for!

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Present-Technology36@reddit

No these people are charlatans, con artists, tricksters. They claim to have special skills but all they are doing is preying on those in need and vulnerable for financial gain. There are many videos of these people being caught out on Youtube and when confronted they just deny it like children or stay silent and walk away. Im sorry you're suffering but dont fall for this trap.

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