ULPT Request: How can I make my house appraise for as little as possible without actually breaking anything?

[-]

Legitimate-Ad-7780@reddit

Home inspector here.

Go in the attic if you can and pull some insulation back. Pour some water in a couple random spots on the ceiling (add a drop or 2 of orange food coloring for effect. Make sure you catch it with a tarp though so you don't stain your floor coverings.

Make sure you do it a couple times so it stains noticeably.

A roof replacement (depending on size and type of roof) can cost $25,000+ and the appraiser will never access the attic or climb the roof to check the decking and roof coverings.

Once the appraisal is done, repaint the ceiling. Bonus points if you take some art charcoal and make some "black mold" splotches around the water stains. Repeat in the basement for added mold effect.

Extra bonus points if you hand him an N95 mask when he gets there and you open the door wearing a respirator.

Turn off the air conditioner so it's warm and humid for believability and if you want to claim it doesn't work that's cool too.

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FewZookeepergame5517@reddit (OP)

Well the good news is I do need a new roof, there is that damage already (waiting on insurance) around a few recessed lights, and the wet decking is visible without fully going in the attic. Furthermore a window in my basement was leaking for a while and when it did I’d have to pull the carpet up (there are unchecked asbestos tiles underneath) to dry the area. Trying to schedule after a rainstorm so I can have this stuff ready and visible.

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schwatto@reddit

… it sounds like you don’t need our help, that house doesn’t sell itself.

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ericfromct@reddit

The asbestos tiles aren't a huge deal as long as they're not breaking, but yea the rest of it sounds like shite

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Delicious_Oil9902@reddit

The fun thing is they’re all items relatively easily fixed. I’m in a VHCOL so even with issues houses are super in demand. Theres also very little new building going on so not much change in stock vs a very increasing demand.

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SantosFurie89@reddit

If there's a wall that needs replastering, get something to cut what looks like structural cracks into it (grinder?) - Easy to repair, especially if redecorating it anyways.

Get a friend to set off some fire crackers or even play gunshot sounds loadly from car speaker. Then casually act like it's normal, and say " I guess we arent going near the windows again today.. ''

Most Importantly, book the appraisal yourself. In the UK it's done by real estate agents (as opposed to a valuer that the bank hires when lending on it) just to get market value. Explain you have zero interest in selling or using their services (once they're at the property not before) so there's no benefit in valuing higher. Offer drinks etc and even say "is there anything I can do to get this valuation lower" whilst counting cash or something... Or play sympathy card if it's a person of same gender/divorced experience

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laughing_cat@reddit

I'm not an appraiser, but I used to own a RE/MAX and appraisers absolutely would access the attic and climb the roof. Especially to investigate an area where they see issues.

They have ways to measure the effectiveness of a/c's as well that are independent of what you had set it on before they came.

What you're recommending is not an unethical tip, but fraud.

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FelineThrowaway35@reddit

Take down family photos & have a black guy meet the appraiser

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silentstorm2008@reddit

This happened as an experiment and it was true.

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SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

All of you commenting that an appraiser will appraise a black family’s house for lower are idiots and are buying into a false narrative. Stay in your lanes. Although there have been a few lawsuits alleging racism in the appraisal profession, not a single one has been proven. Literally, not a single one. Fannie Mae themselves conducted an in-depth study of this issue, examining thousands of appraisals and found zero evidence of racist intent to provide low appraisals. So while lenders are quick to settle these cases because they do not want the bad press, that doesn’t mean anything. Many of these appraisers are counter-suing their accusers for false claims of racism. See the Shane Lanham case in Baltimore City. Finally, just because a second appraiser comes along and appraises a property for way higher than the first guy did- and the house was made to look like a white family lived there the second time-there doesn’t prove anything. That’s not a scientifically-sound experiment. Sadly, racism does exist in this country and statistically-speaking, there are bound to be racists in every profession. But to try to use the few examples that have gotten national press and where racist intent has never even been proven, does a disservice to instances of actual, abhorrent racism in this country.

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silentstorm2008@reddit

Here you go

https://youtu.be/lz8TBXLua-k

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Zercomnexus@reddit

Give them evidence and they still can't face up to reality. Bet he thinks climate change is a big hoax too

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PawsomeFarms@reddit

Nah, if he admits that stuff like that is systemic racism at work he has to admit he's racist too

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SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

Where is the part about how an appraiser was actually found guilty of racial bias? Anyone can accuse anyone else of anything they want. Historic redlining did happen and has led to some neighborhoods being more impoverished than others, no doubt, but appraisers, per their job duties, report sales prices and market conditions- they do not create them. So, trying to blame appraisers for horrible government-sanctioned sins of the past doesn’t hold water. I’m sorry. Someone should be held accountable, no doubt, but it’s not the residential appraiser out there trying to make a living. Anyone connected with the lending industry at all knows this is bunk n

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GenerAsianX1992@reddit

Ok, boomer. I can copy/paste, too.

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QuantumMothersLove@reddit

This guy knows how to copy/paste

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BurgandyFrog@reddit

Hey I know many people are commenting that this would work, I want to understand why, and whats the logic behind it? They are better at negotiating? Are they intimidating? Whats the logic that the appraiser would give low price?

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schwatto@reddit

Some underlying implications are that the neighborhood isn’t as good as the appraiser might normally say, that the family didn’t pay much to buy the house, or that it’s not well-maintained. Yes all of this can be checked by a good appraiser but studies and anecdotal evidence say it doesn’t matter, those houses appraise for less. To put it another way, as the other commenter said, racism.

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SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

All of you commenting that an appraiser will appraise a black family’s house for lower are idiots and are buying into a false narrative. Stay in your lanes. Although there have been a few lawsuits alleging racism in the appraisal profession, not a single one has been proven. Literally, not a single one. Fannie Mae themselves conducted an in-depth study of this issue, examining thousands of appraisals and found zero evidence of racist intent to provide low appraisals. So while lenders are quick to settle these cases because they do not want the bad press, that doesn’t mean anything. Many of these appraisers are counter-suing their accusers for false claims of racism. See the Shane Lanham case in Baltimore City. Finally, just because a second appraiser comes along and appraises a property for way higher than the first guy did- and the house was made to look like a white family lived there the second time-there doesn’t prove anything. That’s not a scientifically-sound experiment. Sadly, racism does exist in this country and statistically-speaking, there are bound to be racists in every profession. But to try to use the few examples that have gotten national press and where racist intent has never even been proven, does a disservice to instances of actual, abhorrent racism in this country.

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QuantumMothersLove@reddit

This guy knows how to copy/paste

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Gaposhkin@reddit

They know two things: copying, and pasting, and farming downvotes. Three things.

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GenerAsianX1992@reddit

Ok, boomer. I can copy/paste, too.

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schwatto@reddit

for all the data on this

And then just remember that not all discrimination is intentional. Your last couple of lines make it seem like you think we’re saying there’s a cabal of appraisers plotting against Black people. No, but we all have underlying biases and unfortunately they come out in our work without us knowing. This is almost worse — because it’s more common — than the overt and violent racism you’re thinking of.

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SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

I’ll say it again, appraisers report market conditions, they do not create them. If an appraiser has 3 recent comparable sales in the subject property’s immediate neighborhood, per professional methodology, the appraiser must use them (or have a very good reason to ignore them) to develop an opinion of market value. It is not the appraiser’s fault of these comparable sales sold for less than what the homeowner thought their house was worth. To ignore these sales and use sales from another more expensive neighborhood is not only professional negligence but may lead to overvaluation or the subject which could also harm the homeowner. So again, appraisers are not to blame for lower value neighborhoods and appraisers have no way of knowing the race of all of the homeowners in a neighborhood. In fact, it’s extremely rare that an appraiser ever meets a purchaser, so they would have no way of knowing a purchaser’s race.

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Dick_Lazar@reddit

The truth is most and I will say most, again, not all. Most racially alike individuals with similar incomes will find spots, neighborhoods, areas where they feel comfortable with earth other. Happens to all the races. What this does is create a market in that area where social economics dictate worth, job title, income and house prices. The market and the area can be rather large. Appraisers have to find value based on the most typical buyer in that market area. It’s federally mandated. So if the house prices for similar homes in the area are between $150,000 - $175,000, the appraiser can’t go to a different area where the same house could be $250,000. That would create a locational adjustment. It’s the same as if your house is next to an airport and sells at a certain range. The comps would have to be close to the airport or if they are further away does the market reflect a difference in price. It’s important to remember appraisers can’t make anything up, everything has to be quantified in the market. Also, very rarely do two appraisers come to the same value on the same property. Industry standard would be within 10% is what is acceptable. Racism exists for every race, but it’s not always racism that causes the difference.

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SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

Bingo! Thank you. It’s appalling that all of these commenters who know nothing of the industry can’t grasp this but they have no issue calling appraisers racists without any factual basis for such a horrible accusation.

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orthographerer@reddit

Look up redlining, minority property ownership.

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LuementalQueen@reddit

Racism.

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MongooseDog001@reddit

I came here to say this. It's messed up, but it will work. Borrow family photos from a black friend and have him impersonate you.

Even breaking stuff won't work as well as this, sadly

[-]

SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

All of you commenting that an appraiser will appraise a black family’s house for lower are idiots and are buying into a false narrative. Stay in your lanes. Although there have been a few lawsuits alleging racism in the appraisal profession, not a single one has been proven. Literally, not a single one. Fannie Mae themselves conducted an in-depth study of this issue, examining thousands of appraisals and found zero evidence of racist intent to provide low appraisals. So while lenders are quick to settle these cases because they do not want the bad press, that doesn’t mean anything. Many of these appraisers are counter-suing their accusers for false claims of racism. See the Shane Lanham case in Baltimore City. Finally, just because a second appraiser comes along and appraises a property for way higher than the first guy did- and the house was made to look like a white family lived there the second time-there doesn’t prove anything. That’s not a scientifically-sound experiment. Sadly, racism does exist in this country and statistically-speaking, there are bound to be racists in every profession. But to try to use the few examples that have gotten national press and where racist intent has never even been proven, does a disservice to instances of actual, abhorrent racism in this country.

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GenerAsianX1992@reddit

Ok, boomer.

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SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

Not a boomer at all. I’m GenX, in fact, and I’m someone who knows more about this topic than you could ever hope to. I copied and pasted my comment several times to make sure it was seen to prove wrong people like you who obviously have no issue pushing a false narrative without a care about how you could be damaging someone’s livelihood. I’m challenging you, GenerAsianx1992 to bring me factual evidence that shows an appraiser was found guilty of racial bias. I’ll wait all day for you to respond from your mom’s basement, but we both know you don’t have the balls or brains to do it.

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GenerAsianX1992@reddit

The fact that you think "OK, booomer" refers to a time means you don't understand what it means.

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SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

Ok, GenX. You really burned me there. And the fact that you’ve even opened your mouth to participate in this discussion has proven that you don’t understand the first thing about the topic. You’re playing out of your league and won’t, and can’t, respond with evidence. Please stick to commenting on posts about bodily fluids. Check mate.

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QuantumMothersLove@reddit

This guy knows how to copy/paste

[-]

meramec785@reddit

Pull your head out of the sand.

[-]

SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

All of you commenting that an appraiser will appraise a black family’s house for lower are idiots and are buying into a false narrative. Stay in your lanes. Although there have been a few lawsuits alleging racism in the appraisal profession, not a single one has been proven. Literally, not a single one. Fannie Mae themselves conducted an in-depth study of this issue, examining thousands of appraisals and found zero evidence of racist intent to provide low appraisals. So while lenders are quick to settle these cases because they do not want the bad press, that doesn’t mean anything. Many of these appraisers are counter-suing their accusers for false claims of racism. See the Shane Lanham case in Baltimore City. Finally, just because a second appraiser comes along and appraises a property for way higher than the first guy did- and the house was made to look like a white family lived there the second time-there doesn’t prove anything. That’s not a scientifically-sound experiment. Sadly, racism does exist in this country and statistically-speaking, there are bound to be racists in every profession. But to try to use the few examples that have gotten national press and where racist intent has never even been proven, does a disservice to instances of actual, abhorrent racism in this country.

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GenerAsianX1992@reddit

Ok, boomer. I can copy/paste, too.

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SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

Once again, you are being directly challenged to provide evidence substantiating a claim of an appraiser racism. We’re all waiting and you’ve got nothing. How embarrassing for you.

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QuantumMothersLove@reddit

This guy knows how to copy/paste

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FelineThrowaway35@reddit

I’ll add, more importantly: Jazz records, african/african american art…. sculpture/masks/painting on the wall. If it FEELS ethnic….ur gettin fucked

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SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

All of you commenting that an appraiser will appraise a black family’s house for lower are idiots and are buying into a false narrative. Stay in your lanes. Although there have been a few lawsuits alleging racism in the appraisal profession, not a single one has been proven. Literally, not a single one. Fannie Mae themselves conducted an in-depth study of this issue, examining thousands of appraisals and found zero evidence of racist intent to provide low appraisals. So while lenders are quick to settle these cases because they do not want the bad press, that doesn’t mean anything. Many of these appraisers are counter-suing their accusers for false claims of racism. See the Shane Lanham case in Baltimore City. Finally, just because a second appraiser comes along and appraises a property for way higher than the first guy did- and the house was made to look like a white family lived there the second time-there doesn’t prove anything. That’s not a scientifically-sound experiment. Sadly, racism does exist in this country and statistically-speaking, there are bound to be racists in every profession. But to try to use the few examples that have gotten national press and where racist intent has never even been proven, does a disservice to instances of actual, abhorrent racism in this country.

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GenerAsianX1992@reddit

Ok, boomer. I can copy/paste, too.

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SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

Yes, you certainly are capable of copying and pasting damaging and unsubstantiated accusations. Congratulations. I didn’t know sheep could type.

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tsavong117@reddit

↑ this guy ctrl-c/ ctrl/v 's.

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DanGleeballs@reddit

And moth balls everywhere. They’ll stick the place out.

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Nodebunny@reddit

Menace to society attite

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FelineThrowaway35@reddit

Could you imagine being that appraiser and flav comes out showing his teeth with a clock around his neck yelling catchphrases at you

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ActuatorPerfect@reddit

Yaaaa boi

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SJW_Lover@reddit

This is actually a good idea. If you have a black friend, get them to do this.

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f1ve-Star@reddit

Damn. You're not wrong sadly.

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EntertainmentIll2135@reddit

Leave fresh brewed Kool Aid for the prospective buyers

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shemmy@reddit

LMFAAO🤣🤣

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666TripleSick@reddit

💀💀

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10before15@reddit

Word

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monkeywelder@reddit

Paint the house with a power painter. But don't tape or cover anything, Make sure you over spray everywhere,

take a few stair treads out of any steps in the house,

put enough old lawnmowers in the yard so that you can see them from space,

replace all your curtains with rebel/Nazi flags, they cant show the pictures in the report

fill your laundry room chest high with unwashed laundry. let the cats stay in there.

block a room off and say its for the women only. no pictures

cut a hole in the floor and cover it with a rug. (a friend fell through and lost an arm on that one)

bedbugs/fleas. another guy got hit so bad he had to strip down in his drive way and burn his clothes. then flea bomb his truck 3 times.

stack unwashed plates in the bedrooms so you cant see the floors.

flood your basement so its like a swimming pool of crap

pull the covers off all the electrical panels. run wires across the floor.

ex appraiser- seen all of these,

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LeoGoldenfish@reddit

Get a black guy to meet the appraiser. It works. Trust me. I have done this before

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SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

You most certainly have not “done this before” You’re a liar and are glomming on the the false narrative that has been pushed about racist appraisers when, in fact, not a single charge of racism has ever been proven in any of the few cases that have made national news.

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LeoGoldenfish@reddit

Have too have too have too

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PriestessKikyo1@reddit

If you have a basement, try to make it look like water constantly comes in every time it rains. Try to make it look like you have termites somehow. Ask an exterminator or something!

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Gaposhkin@reddit

Oh maybe something like dried mustard seed bought as a spice and poured in piles would look like termite frass.

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thundrbud@reddit

Find the floor drain, drop the hose from a shopvac all the way down and suck the p-trap dry. The overwhelming sewer gas stench ought to drop that appraisal amount real quick.

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tiddeR356@reddit

This is genius. Exactly what OP requested. If he already owns a shop vac this also won’t cost anything.

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FewZookeepergame5517@reddit (OP)

I have a dehumidifier and a fan already at the ready! Trying to get it scheduled shortly after a rain

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AbroadRemarkable7548@reddit

Have them running on full speed, and quickly turn them off when they appraiser walks in

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SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

All of you commenting that an appraiser will appraise a black family’s house for lower are idiots and are buying into a false narrative. Stay in your lanes. Although there have been a few lawsuits alleging racism in the appraisal profession, not a single one has been proven. Literally, not a single one. Fannie Mae themselves conducted an in-depth study of this issue, examining thousands of appraisals and found zero evidence of racist intent to provide low appraisals. So while lenders are quick to settle these cases because they do not want the bad press, that doesn’t mean anything. Many of these appraisers are counter-suing their accusers for false claims of racism. See the Shane Lanham case in Baltimore City. Finally, just because a second appraiser comes along and appraises a property for way higher than the first guy did- and the house was made to look like a white family lived there the second time-there doesn’t prove anything. That’s not a scientifically-sound experiment. Sadly, racism does exist in this country and statistically-speaking, there are bound to be racists in every profession. But to try to use the few examples that have gotten national press and where racist intent has never even been proven, does a disservice to instances of actual, abhorrent racism in this country.

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GenerAsianX1992@reddit

Ok, boomer. I can copy/paste, too.

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SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

Wow, I’m being trolled by someone who actually made a post to ask where people aim their piss streams in the toilet. Pathetic.

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QuantumMothersLove@reddit

This guy knows how to copy/paste

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OkChocolate6152@reddit

Uhhh are you black?

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SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

All of you commenting that an appraiser will appraise a black family’s house for lower are idiots and are buying into a false narrative. Stay in your lanes. Although there have been a few lawsuits alleging racism in the appraisal profession, not a single one has been proven. Literally, not a single one. Fannie Mae themselves conducted an in-depth study of this issue, examining thousands of appraisals and found zero evidence of racist intent to provide low appraisals. So while lenders are quick to settle these cases because they do not want the bad press, that doesn’t mean anything. Many of these appraisers are counter-suing their accusers for false claims of racism. See the Shane Lanham case in Baltimore City. Finally, just because a second appraiser comes along and appraises a property for way higher than the first guy did- and the house was made to look like a white family lived there the second time-there doesn’t prove anything. That’s not a scientifically-sound experiment. Sadly, racism does exist in this country and statistically-speaking, there are bound to be racists in every profession. But to try to use the few examples that have gotten national press and where racist intent has never even been proven, does a disservice to instances of actual, abhorrent racism in this country.

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GenerAsianX1992@reddit

Ok, boomer. I can copy/paste, too.

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SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

It must be hard to read and write for someone with a hive-mind instead of a brain. Ouch.

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QuantumMothersLove@reddit

This guy knows how to copy/paste

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OkChocolate6152@reddit

Y’all have gone too far… you’ve crossed a line.

A red line.

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SAM12489@reddit

You know how to repeat comments!

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QuantumMothersLove@reddit

I do I do I do!

And showing off my own adept copy/paste mastery. My sincerest apologies

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

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Severe-Ant-3888@reddit

It’s sad but I was gonna say this too.

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kaybeetay@reddit

It's depressing and genuinely fucked up that this is a serious piece of advice that's been recommended several times in this post. In 2024.

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Severe-Ant-3888@reddit

Because it’s true and can work. But yea it’s depressing for sure.

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kaybeetay@reddit

Yeah, exactly, it's sad because it's true.

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PBnJ4Me@reddit

Flood your crawl space.

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i-piss-excellence32@reddit

I’m being 100% serious when I say have a black guy meet the appraiser

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SpoonerFoondaz@reddit

All of you commenting that an appraiser will appraise a black family’s house for lower are idiots and are buying into a false narrative. Stay in your lanes. Although there have been a few lawsuits alleging racism in the appraisal profession, not a single one has been proven. Literally, not a single one. Fannie Mae themselves conducted an in-depth study of this issue, examining thousands of appraisals and found zero evidence of racist intent to provide low appraisals. So while lenders are quick to settle these cases because they do not want the bad press, that doesn’t mean anything. Many of these appraisers are counter-suing their accusers for false claims of racism. See the Shane Lanham case in Baltimore City. Finally, just because a second appraiser comes along and appraises a property for way higher than the first guy did- and the house was made to look like a white family lived there the second time-there doesn’t prove anything. That’s not a scientifically-sound experiment. Sadly, racism does exist in this country and statistically-speaking, there are bound to be racists in every profession. But to try to use the few examples that have gotten national press and where racist intent has never even been proven, does a disservice to instances of actual, abhorrent racism in this country.

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GenerAsianX1992@reddit

Ok, boomer. I can copy/paste, too.

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QuantumMothersLove@reddit

This guy knows how to copy/paste

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DanGleeballs@reddit

Get several appraisers and take the lowest valuation.

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fancy_livin@reddit

~$650 per appraisal normally, only able to roll one appraisal into your mortgage closing costs, not worth

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DanGleeballs@reddit

I’ve never paid for an appraisal. Have done it several times with different estate agents.

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fancy_livin@reddit

Unless your lender is covering the cost of your appraisal (which they may be) you’re 100% paying for an appraisal. It’ll be listed as a cost on your final CD and settlement statement.

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RequireMoMinerals@reddit

Stop mowing the lawn. Let your gardens get overgrown with weeds and dandelions. Perhaps leave food around to attract vermin, pests, cats, skunks, and any other critters. Remove a light fixture of two and just leave nothing there. Take down your blinds and curtains. Remove your shutters or even one shutter. Smoke inside the house. Shut off your dehumidifier to get a nice dank basement smell.

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Natural-Pineapple886@reddit

Put a couple of old tarps on the roof.

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jaxxon@reddit

Simple things that look bad/destructive that are easily reversed... Take a door off its hinges and leave it leaning. Maybe remove the bathroom sink and pile it in the back yard, if that's easy. Leave some food out to rot under the kitchen sink - something you can clean up after the appraisal. Let the lawn grow to weeds. Broken glass and trash bags on the front porch. Basically, make the place as trashy as possible - but all stuff that's quick and easy to recover from.

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Anon1837473882998283@reddit

Why are men

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Jumpy-Ad6470@reddit

Just sell the house bro, its almost always the better choice.

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FewZookeepergame5517@reddit (OP)

I’ve had the house less than 3 years, I have a 2.5% interest rate. I’ve thought about this and seriously still am but I’m more inclined to rent it out so as to keep the asset.

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your_moms_apron@reddit

Man I hate to tell you this but I think you’re going to be forced to refinance and you’ll lose that 2.5% rate. Your STBX will ask to be removed from the mortgage and the most common way for this to happen is via refinancing a VERY rare for a mortgage company to allow one party off of the mortgage without a refi.

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FewZookeepergame5517@reddit (OP)

She’s not on the mortgage, just on the title

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your_moms_apron@reddit

Oh! Then that’s GREAT. Please disregard my comment then!

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FewZookeepergame5517@reddit (OP)

Yeah I had a 830 credit score and she had a 650. Would have been a much higher rate if she was on the mortgage (we researched)

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your_moms_apron@reddit

Well that’s just super lucky for you that it worked out that way. Enjoy the shrimp in your curtain rods, stained ceiling and 2.5% mortgage!

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b0ingy@reddit

one thing to consider, my parents sold their house for 500k ish about 2-3 years ago, new owners just sold it again for 850k. Depending on your area, might be worth it

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FewZookeepergame5517@reddit (OP)

That’s why I’ve thought of selling. Flip side, 2.5% rate, and houses are going for that much atm so it’ll be that much harder to buy again

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b0ingy@reddit

you could always rent until the market inevitably crashes again

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FewZookeepergame5517@reddit (OP)

I live in an area that’s more or less crashless. Incredible short supply

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Puzzleheaded_Big3319@reddit

can you disable the heat in bedrooms? innour area unheated rooms cannot be counted as bedrooms. A zero bedroom house with busted heat us not worth much

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unfinished_diy@reddit

Was she originally on the mortgage? I don’t know if you can keep that mortgage rate and still remove her from the current mortgage (unless she was never on it, of course).

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FewZookeepergame5517@reddit (OP)

She’s not

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suspicious_hyperlink@reddit

Oh yeah, keep that lol. Make the house stink, like throw some shrimp in the dust or something

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Jumpy-Ad6470@reddit

ahh that 2.5% rate is a game changer. I guess you can be on site when the appraiser is there and point every little thing out.

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FewZookeepergame5517@reddit (OP)

That’s the plan - just looking for few more things I could do to minimize my payout

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Jumpy-Ad6470@reddit

are you handy?

Do things to devalue the property that you can easily fix yourself after. Like removing shingles from your roof.

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FewZookeepergame5517@reddit (OP)

My roof already has a leak - waiting for this before I schedule the roofer

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National_Panda700@reddit

Spread rat pellets around windows and basement. Get charcoal on baseboards to look like mold.

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FewZookeepergame5517@reddit (OP)

Would traps have a similar effect?

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BatFancy321go@reddit

poison pellets look more desperate, like you've tried everything and you're down to poison. people don't like poison bc the rats die in the walls and stink. but if you have a really bad infestation, it's the only way you can make any progress.

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eddie_ironside@reddit

To add and sell this, be sure to stuff some raw meat that's gone bad, in inconspicuous places around.(make sure it will be easy to clean up and remove later though) Looks are one thing but the smell senses really sear a negative outlook on someone's view of a place.

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Welady@reddit

Shrimp in the curtain rods.

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f1ve-Star@reddit

Yes. Roaches don't really change appraisal value.

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canitguy@reddit

Take some rice and put it into a container with some black food coloring (probably will need to get the gel type), you'll get black rice that looks like mouse droppings. Spread in corners. If you want to emulate rat droppings you'll need a girthier grain but the same principle should apply.

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ActuatorPerfect@reddit

Some counties will tell you the registered political affiliation of its citizens. Once you have that figured out, go get the opposing Presidential candidate’s yard sign and put a few of them up.

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Upset-Diamond2857@reddit

Just pay the fair sure and be glad not to be married anymore- only a short term pain 👍🏽

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PomegranateV2@reddit

Get a friend to dress up as a spooky ghost and scare the appraiser.

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-Mediocrates-@reddit

Walk the home with the appraiser and point out everything wrong with the home and everything you don’t like about the home in a polite conversational way

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Cigars-Beer@reddit

Put up posters from Jamaica and have the smell of incense in the air.

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Optimoink@reddit

Smoke cigarettes inside leave ashtrays out. Animal feces.

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gxbcab@reddit

Throw some loose shingles on the roof and take down a couple fascia boards. Maybe even sprinkle some water through your attic to look like a leak. Appraiser will think you need roof replaced. Also, sprinkle sawdust all around your foundation, even better if you can make it look like small termite piles.

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FewZookeepergame5517@reddit (OP)

I DO need a new roof and have water leaking in - waiting on a few insurance things to take care of it

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EvilMindedSquirrel@reddit

Turn off the water to part of your house and say that the pipes are leaking, but it costs too much to fix, so you just turned that side off

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fasterfester@reddit

Partial house shut-off valves aren’t really a thing, that would raise more questions than you want.

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Working-on-it12@reddit

Go to your main water shutoff. Turn it most of the way off. Experiment to see how much you have to urn it off. You are simulating low water pressure. IDK if appraisers test for this though.

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Working-on-it12@reddit

How good are you at patching drywall?

Dog claw scrapes down the drywall. Same of the door trim. Door knob holes in the drywall. Remove trim in some of the rooms.

Melt a piss disk on the carpet if you plan to replace. Or, less smelly, stains on the carpet. You can pour a bit of water on the carpet then ground in some of that charocal pencil someone else suggested to simulate mold.

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fasterfester@reddit

Melt a piss disk on the carpet

So… buy a frisbee, piss in it, freeze it, take it out, and melt it on the carpet

or just piss on the carpet. Lol

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traypo@reddit

Find some heavily musty smelling items from a wet abandoned garage. Place them out of sight in the bones of the house. Take some unflavored yoghurt and add some black food coloring. Paint just a little of the goop into some floor meeting wall areas that make sense. Climb into some uncomfortable hard to get to areas of foundation where he won’t want to take a sample but a flashlight will show and paint it a little more.

Look at some termite mounds indicative of your local variety. Develop a technique to recreate it using your creative mind and hobby store. Locate them in hard to get to places also.

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bmanley620@reddit

Pretend you’re bribing him but be really cheap while doing so. Say something like “I’d really appreciate it if you can appraise this as high as possible. My friend George here would also appreciate it!” (wink while handing him a $1 bill).

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the_darkishknight@reddit

Does anyone here know what would happen if you told the owner that the previous owner had cooked meth in the basement and you didn’t find out until he was murdered?

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kuriT9@reddit

HAHA, this might be a funny one but idk if it's the right choice, maybe dirty up some bunsen burners with a quartz flask here and there

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the_darkishknight@reddit

The thing is that you don’t need to have any of the stuff, just the implication that the place was used for cooking meth and was not disclosed to you personally makes the place a toxic/hazardous site. Not to mention a former crime scene and the murder may not have happened on the property tho the cooking did.

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f1ve-Star@reddit

Use Zillow to find "comps" find 10 and offer the worst ones, printed out. If you are the one paying make sure the appraiser is male and badmouth your wife. Homes appraise in a range of values but mostly it's by comps. Unless there is structural damage, or the appearance of structural damage. If you "get along with" the appraiser they may set it towards whichever end of the range you want (lowest). It will very likely be close to the Zillow appraisal.

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FewZookeepergame5517@reddit (OP)

I’ve looked at the comps actually - I found 1 for sale, 6 pending, one that sold and they were all around the same size as my house, similar lot size, same school district. This is good info - thank you

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WhimsicleMagnolia@reddit

Appraisers gather their own comps. Yours won't mean anything to them. Former realtor and have been told that by many an appraiser

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FewZookeepergame5517@reddit (OP)

I’m thinking the same - I looked at comps to satisfy my own curiosity

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shemmy@reddit

what are comps?

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pohlcat01@reddit

Short for Comparable. Similar properties that have sold in your neighborhood. Helps you gauge the price.

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shemmy@reddit

cool thanks

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FewZookeepergame5517@reddit (OP)

About 4 weeks ago I found a few houses (7) that just sold, pending, or for sale that were the same square footage give or take and the same lot give or take and in the same school district as me. The most expensive which is imo far nicer than mine (about 400 square feet larger, pool, new roof) just sold last week for less than the Zillow estimate on the lower end for my home. The others look to be flips/newly updated and are all roughly the same size as mine, most slightly smaller by 100 square feet on the same lot size, and are pending for 20k-90k less than what I paid in late 2021.

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som3otherguy@reddit

It was a huge grow-op but we fixed it up real nice huh? Did all the work ourselves!

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kadirkara07@reddit

why dont you find a few Appraisers who need some greasing of the wheels

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BeersAndGear@reddit

You all seem to be confusing appraisers with inspectors. An appraiser doesn’t crawl in the attic or look under sinks and smell the house ?!?

Spend a few bucks to a realtor have a have a comp study done based on sold houses only. Then disclose to them ON RECORD age of roof, age of HVAC, fucked up lawn sprinkler heads, old paint chipping, bad windows, cracked driveway all the stuff you guys didn’t take care of.

Lastly I’m gonna say you kinda suck. Advice to everyone divorcing whatever the cost is if you aren’t a good couple and want to get divorced the money over a house or any fucking thing costing you less than 30-50k is THE BEST MONEY YOU WILL EVER SPEND.

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ToQuoteSocrates@reddit

You know that flusher thing in the toilet, refuse to use it for a week. Smell makes people spend more on a home (Apple pie smell), so I guess the reverse would work as well. In general, it should smell, be a mess, and the black guy comment would also be a good one.

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kuriT9@reddit

Get something like an electric air duster, one with a large fan port on the back. Tape/tie a fistful of cigarettes to the back of it, light em up and start blowing cigarette smoke in every room.

Oh and have a black friend meet the appraiser

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kuriT9@reddit

Something like this https://www.homedepot.com/p/keimi-Multi-Purpose-Compressed-Air-Duster-Cordless-Compressed-Air-Blower-with-Led-for-Keyboard-PC-and-Car-Cleaning-in-Orange-HD2004/329234394?source=shoppingads&locale=en-US&srsltid=AfmBOoqmOrb38CFycxFXg91lk2-YCx2NVZxtVIbbESQoPiI683YGqS-JJMU

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kuriT9@reddit

Something like this

https://www.google.com/search?q=electric+air+gun&hl=en-US&ved=1t:200715&ictx=111&shopcct=1&udm=28#vhid=vt%3D16/prds%3Dcatalogid:403999249468133456,gpcid:5017957634843542506,headlineOfferDocid:-1598136603719040623,imageDocid:15006629910902935558,mid:576462769073730973,mno:3,pvo:19,pvt:hg,query:ZWxlY3RyaWMgYWlyIGd1bg,rds:UENfNTAxNzk1NzYzNDg0MzU0MjUwNnxQUk9EX1BDXzUwMTc5NTc2MzQ4NDM1NDI1MDY,sori:0/vs%3DUG9wdWxhciBwaWNrcyBmb3IgeW91,0,27&vssid=uvpv-713&piu=ps:90

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JupiterSkyFalls@reddit

Spray liquid ass in the home ten minutes before appraisal guy gets there. Pretend not to notice the smell.

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Capable-Ninja-7392@reddit

Make sure it smells like cigarettes inside. Appraiser cannot avoid that visceral reaction and it will cloud (pun intended) his judgment.

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JupiterSkyFalls@reddit

Or do the rotten fish oil trick.

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ballsdeepinmywine@reddit

This is excellent advice! Walk they the house smoking right before he gets there

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Comfortable-Ad988@reddit

Smoke inside and be a black guy….

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ithinkfresh@reddit

Buy CBD Weed and leave it allover the place. Cover any nice furniture with stained old blankets or drop clothes. Spill water on the carpet in places where there could be leaks but there isn't. Move furniture to expose any stains. Spray somethinggross like fart spray in utility areas so they think there is a plumbingproblem. In screw light bulbs in some switches but not all so they think there is an electrical problem. Get a bunch of friends dress up in less than desirable ways and have them loiter in the year near the neighbors propertyline to make them think the area is bad. Have a realtor find you very bad comps in the area, maybe even show up to the appraisal and confidently hand them over but subtly drop hints about how tough the market in the area is.

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KryptikAngel@reddit

Sawa Reddit post that said firing a couple rounds into the air every sonoften will bring the property value down.

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Ok_Disaster_126@reddit

Throw a party and don't clean up. Points for unflushed toilets too.

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pohlcat01@reddit

Post on Craigslist for an appraiser you can bribe

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mcbrainhead@reddit

Pay him a cash bribe

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hereforpopcornru@reddit

Termites, if you can afford to rid of them after and fix the damage

Flood the crawlspace with water. Crawlspace holding water without a subpump... foundation issues

Tip a ghost hunter to deem it haunted

Poke a hole in a water line so it sprays I'm an area for a while and weakens the floor there

After final appraisal and close, replace that section after water line patch

Pay somebody to do driver's while you aren't home on occasion lol.

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shemmy@reddit

pay someone to do drivers? what is that

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Kamiden@reddit

Make all the doors a bit crooked in a uniform way from one end of the house to the other.

If you have any rooms that are joined with another room, remove the door.

Remove closet doors.

Unground your outlets.

Replace your kitchen cabinets with shelves.

Close your main water valve until the water pressure is usable, but shitty.

Damage the washers behind your faucet handles (laundry sink and hose bibs are easy)

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shemmy@reddit

😂

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raven_widow@reddit

Rip up carpet.

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FewZookeepergame5517@reddit (OP)

All hardwood except for basement

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ballsdeepinmywine@reddit

Slip the appraiser a couple Benjamin's and tell him to aim low!

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killedjoy@reddit

I wonder if you could hire some immigrant work crews to just hang around the neighborhood for a few hours in matching colors or something

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pfbr@reddit

i'm wondering if there is a way of visualizing simulating mold/cracks. Maybe you have a friend who could faux paint a few things. Mold in particular (certainly here in the UK) is very visible

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BitterBory@reddit

Do you have a finished basement? Just take out the ceiling then the "rooms" don't count.

Our realtor told us to do this when we were house hunting to save on taxes.

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FewZookeepergame5517@reddit (OP)

Where I’m at the ceiling is just low enough it’s considered finished storage

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BitterBory@reddit

Maybe unfinished storage would help a little.

Remove some roof tiles/make it so it looks like it needs a new roof? We just had to spend $17k on a new roof when the inspector thought it would last at least 10 years. He was our bank's inspector, not the seller's. We had to get the new roof 3.5 years in.

Make the lawn/landscaping not nice?

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Furiciuoso@reddit

Hide some shrimp in hollow curtain rods? That stench alone…

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pabloflleras@reddit

Talk to the appraiser. Appraisers are willing to work towards your goal if you just ask.

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SnooSnooSnuSnu@reddit

Poop.
Everywhere, poop.

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friedrice33@reddit

I’m surprised no one said to bribe the appraiser.

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DrEdRichtofen@reddit

Move a bunch of sex offenders onto your block.

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ZombiesAtKendall@reddit

Remove some interior doors, cabinet doors, take out light bulbs so it’s darker inside. You could remove the caulk from around the tub or shower (it’s easy enough to re-caulk). You could remove a wire from a light switch (make sure to safely cap it off), so when they try to turn a light on it won’t turn on. You could do this with other electric stuff as well, I mean there are limits, but garage door opener, garbage disposal, etc. If you don’t take the whole door off you can just take some door knobs off, or at least some outlet and light switches off (bonus points if you paint over them instead)

If you were thinking of doing any improvements, then you could break whatever you were going to replace. Cracked window, broken toilet, broken sink. Or again, just remove certain things like the top of the toilet tank, remove the handle from one of sink controls.

Overall, just make the place a mess. Don’t mow the yard. Leave dishes everywhere. Make sure to make it look like it’s been a mess and you tried to clean it up. Like have a bunch of trash bags full by the door and have cleaning supplies out. Hopefully they won’t think you’re intentionally doing anything, they should just think you are a slob and you tried to clean.

I don’t know how much those things will matter, but subtle things can have a subconscious effect.

If you don’t have a cat, get a litter box and poop in it.

Set up a grow room but don’t have any plants or just have pots of dirt. (Grow room = humidity = mold). Having it set up for a day won’t hurt anything.

Drive around on trash day and get whatever stuff you can from bulk pickup (just make sure you don’t get bedbugs). Pack all the rooms full so there’s just a path to walk though. But again, make it look like it’s been that way a while and you made an effort to clear a path, don’t just block off everything.

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DrEdRichtofen@reddit

You could do a bunch of unpermitted work to it.

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daveshops@reddit

Cook something that reeks (kimchi?) Just before the appraisal

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daveshops@reddit

Cook something that reeks (kimchi?) Just before the appraisal

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daveshops@reddit

Paint every wall in the houseflorescent pink and green

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suspicious_hyperlink@reddit

Remove a few screens from the outside windows, maybe read a few up. Remove one shudder if you have them. Talk about asbestos in passing, normally mentioning the word is enough, mold too. Borrow a few cats from someone and let them run around in the house. remove landscaping/flowers, plants. Pour water in the corners of the basement a day or two before they come, shut off dehumidifier. Make the house too hot/cold during the appraisal. Loosen screws in cabinets, on doors, make shit creaky. Put up a large speaker and blare shitty music making it seem like it is from your neighbors yard, park an old car in the back yard. Put non staining stuff on the walls here or there making the house appear dirty

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ure_not_my_dad@reddit

Mash up a part of the wax seal under toilet and remove some of the caulking around base so the liquid that pools is more visible. Find a free old broken garbage disposal to temporarily install. Remove the screen filters from faucet nozzle and clog with some tiny rock sediment to lessen the water pressure. Replace a screw on the storm door handle with an ill fitting one that makes the entire handle very loose and difficult to open. Can do the same with a hinge on the most expensive door in the house. Lookup things like water heater codes and temporarily adjust outside of them. Like if they must be x inches of the ground you could replace the stand or riser to a shorter one then replace it after with original.

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