Is it common to ask wealthier friends for money/handouts?

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It happens. I've had old friends ask to borrow money from me. In some cases, they had legit emergencies and I just gave it to them. In others I refused and they got mad. I've cut out some friends because of this. It's not worth the headache. Now most of my friend group are all in the same income category or at the very least financially stable and not drowning in debt or bills.

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Spiritual_Lemonade@reddit

No. Not many people win and it's totally not common to ask friends with greater resources for money or help. We take care of ourselves in the ways that our budget supports. I don't live in a region where anyone is doing these $800+ birthday dinners and expecting people to split it evenly.

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Sad_Requirement_2417@reddit

Definitely a thing. I have my PhD and a decent paying job and my brother-in-law asked for money the second time I met him. I'm talking maybe just over the border of upper middle class, definitely not wealthy, but mooches are gonna mooch.

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1174239@reddit

This isn't really a thing with most people.

The problem is major lotto wins are absolutely massive, and lotto players are disproportionally poorer folks looking for an easy way out of whatever situation they're in. Folks like this don't typically have wealthy friends.

When someone wins the lottery, they might suddenly have hundreds of millions of dollars overnight, and it's likely they have friends who will be similarly situated socially/financially so they'll start sniffing around as their friend is suddenly staggeringly wealthy, not merely better off than they are.

Even in situations like this, it's more common for FAMILY to ask for a cut rather than people who are just friends.

If you have friends who are truly wealthy (and aren't lotto winners), most people will have too much pride to ask for a handout. Further, people with wealthy friends are more likely to be on sound financial footing to begin with.

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captainpro93@reddit (OP)

That makes sense. I think I might have been imagining lotteries on a smaller scale, maybe a hundred thousand to 1 million, rather than hundreds of millions.

Thank you for the thoughtful response. It addresses both that this is not really something that will happen, and outlines a feasible scenario in which it can happen, so it was pretty comprehensive in both changing and affirming my worldview haha.

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bloopidupe@reddit

The current mega million jackpot (national lotto) is "800 million dollars" that's before taxes, but it's a crazy amount of money.

However, the handout thing can start a the lower tens of thousands. Sometimes people feel like they deserve money more than the next so "why shouldn't I ask!" It's just entitlement.

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Prowindowlicker@reddit

Depending on your state that could be anywhere from 600 million to 500 million lump sum payments.

However it would be smarter to take the annuity option which would pay out close to 8 to 9 million (after tax) every year until you get paid the full amount.

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cryptoengineer@reddit

I'm in my 60s. You'd better believe I'd take the lump sum. You can't enjoy money when you're dead.

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captainpro93@reddit (OP)

If your figures are correct, isn't it much better to take the lump sum?

500 million would pay out \~10-25 million (10 million assuming rates go back down to \~2019 levels) a year even using ultra-conservative instruments like a HYSA. You would get a larger annuity plus 500 million on top of that.

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Prowindowlicker@reddit

If your figures are correct, isn’t it much better to take the lump sum?

No. The lump sum is always far less than the actual lottery amount. For example if the lottery is at 800 million the lump sum would be about 600 million and then you’d take taxes out of that.

The annuity pays out over 30 years. The average depends on the state but it goes up over time.

For example in my state, Arizona, the lump sum would be 568 million. But that’s before taxes. After taxes you’re looking at 380 million lump sum.

While the annuity would go from 8.5 million to 35 million over the course of 30 years and that’s after taxes.

Eventually you’ll hit close to 800 million if you take the annuity option while the lump sum never will reach 800 million.

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captainpro93@reddit (OP)

Lottery annuities are still taxed though. You would end up with \~506m in total if you take the annuity after federal taxes. More importantly, it's further stacked against you if the annuities ramp up over time as the PV of the largest annuities would be reduced the most.

The current 30-year treasury rate is 4.04%

https://www.britannica.com/calculators/tvm-calculator

the FV of 380M in 30 years would be $1,246,791,699.58

Of course, the FV of your annuities would also be greater than 506m as you do get access to some of these funds ahead of time, but it is heavily stacked against you as the starting principal is comparatively low.

Assuming you put it all into the long term bonds, you receive 15.352 million in your first year. Even if you spend a couple million every year, by year 20 you're already receiving more from bonds than the 35 million in the year-30 annuity that you mentioned, and unlike an annuity, it doesn't end.

Again, this is only using secure financial instruments. A financial advisor would definitely give you much higher and more realistic projections, given that no one is realistically going to be putting everything only into treasury bonds when you have that much capital to leverage.

Under the model that you're describing, the only benefit of an annuity is to protect yourself from overspending if you don't trust yourself to manage your money.

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Prowindowlicker@reddit

Lottery annuities are still taxed though. You would end up with ~506m in total if you take the annuity after federal taxes. More importantly, it’s further stacked against you if the annuities ramp up over time as the PV of the largest annuities would be reduced the most.

Yes it mentioned that they get taxed. And no you wouldn’t end up with ~506m in total. You’d actually end up with ~568m in total after state and federal taxes are taken out.

Meanwhile you don’t even reach 381m with the lump sum.

sniped section of money mumbo jumbo

Literally nobody is gonna do that. Nobody.

Under the model that you’re describing, the only benefit of an annuity is to protect yourself from overspending if you don’t trust yourself to manage your money.

No you get most of the winnings under the annuity than the lump sum. The lotto providers give the annuity people the full amount and take out the taxes for them.

Meanwhile the lump sum gets a significant amount less and still has to have federal and state taxes taken out.

The other thing is that you can’t access any of the federal treasury bonds. So sure you can put all that money into a treasury bond but you then can’t access it for decades. So in effect your winnings are effectively worthless and will again be taxed once you get the return on investment.

You can instead use the annuity which would protect you from any losses, provided you with a steady income stream, and already take out the federal and state taxes. You get more of the winnings via the annuity than the lump sum

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captainpro93@reddit (OP)

First. In terms of taxation, 24% is taken out as withholdings. You still need to make up the difference when the annuities are received for personal income taxes. I kind of used your numbers for the lump sum because I assumed you knew what you were talking about but apparently you only took into account the withholding there too, so the figures will be slightly lower there too.

Secondly, treasury bonds pay at a fixed rate every 6 months until maturity, and treasury securities are liquid. The bond expires in 30 years, you don't get the money in 30 years.

Third, I even mentioned treasury bonds as the unrealistically ultra-conservative scenario, because it's easy enough for even someone without a basic education in finance to understand.

And, wealth management firms absolutely do similar things for clients all the time, just not with treasury bonds as, again, that would be idiotic given the extremely low ROR.

You still don't really seem to understand FV/PV which is probably one of the most basic financial concepts, so honestly, it's hard to really fill in the gaps.

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ChuushaHime@reddit

Sometimes people feel like they deserve money more than the next so "why shouldn't I ask!" It's just entitlement.

also this can just happen even outside of lotto circumstances. during COVID my state briefly gave folks on unemployment benefits an extra boost, which my partner was eligible for. so for awhile he had some bottomfeeder hitting him up for money constantly because she'd caught wind of the fact that he was getting a few extra hundred bucks in COVID unemployment benefits...

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bloopidupe@reddit

1000% I knew a guy in my early 20s who got a Bonus for his military enlistment. It was only 5,000 but he said: I'm going to throw it all on a party because ppl are just going to ask me for money. WHAT KINDA LOGIC IS THAT? I tried to argue the logic out, but the number of ppl he knew were coming for it was too much.

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sweet_hedgehog_23@reddit

The guy could just put it in a retirement account or CD and say that it couldn't be withdrawn without penalty. He could probably even leave the without penalty part out because I'm guessing the people asking for the money weren't super financially literate.

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bloopidupe@reddit

None of them were, but also since he was early 20s (maybe 21?!) not everyone knows how to handle money.

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Livvylove@reddit

It happens with a little bit of money. You get money from a gift they want a cut. Had that happen now I don't share any info on any amount of money I get

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jorwyn@reddit

My birthday is a week before my sister's. My parents made me buy her gifts with any birthday money I got, but not vice versa. I learned pretty young not to tell my immediate family about any money I had. Years later, my father just assumed that 1) I had $20k to give, and 2) that I would just give it to my trainwreck of a sister. I thought he was joking and laughed. He was not. SMDH

I think it depends on who your family is pretty heavily. My friends don't do that kind of thing to me at all, and neither does my son. I think if I had friends who did, well, they would no longer be friends.

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StrangePondWoman@reddit

I mean, I would win $100 and my siblings would still ask for some 🙄

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jorwyn@reddit

I mentioned getting a $1700 refund from my student loan, and got asked by family to buy them things. I, of course, did not. I bought myself a camera drone and put the rest in savings. ;)

In contrast, my friends, son, and even husband all just commented on how cool that was, and that was it.

But, I already knew my family is trash.

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jorwyn@reddit

I made the mistake of telling family I got a $1700 refund on my student loan and got hit up with "jokes" about what I could buy for them. They were not jokes. My friends (and son) just congratulated me. That's not even a big pay out. Imagine if I got $17 million somehow. Only my absolute closest friends and a financial advisor would ever know. Well, and the IRS, I assume.

However, friends? No way they'd ask. I make a lot more than a lot, and at most they will mention a serious problem they have and accept a loan of an item like a generator during a power outage because I also have solar. They won't even ask to borrow the generator. I remember this from when I was very poor and had a few friends who were well off. It's awkward for your friendship if you ask, you know? Of course, I have awesome friends. Not all people really see others as friends rather than resources.

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theothermeisnothere@reddit

I worked with a guy whose nephew gave him a several scratcher tickets for Christmas. One of them paid out $10k. The nephew asked for half. Co-worker patiently explained how gifts worked. He did take nephew and family out to dinner at a nice place but the rest went into an account for his own kids. So, even at lower payouts people can ask.

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shits-n-gigs@reddit

Rich friend gets the tab at bars or gets the Uber, small stuff like that means a lot more than money plz

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royalblue1982@reddit

I don't wonder if this is all just something that people assume rather than based on ACTUAL experience. Reddit seems to have a real hard on for the whole 'never let anyone know you've won the lottery' thing.

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DeaconFrostedFlakes@reddit

OP’s original question is coming from an AMA yesterday that (allegedly) was from a lotto winner who said this is what happened. There are also plenty of stories available in the media to back it up.

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kinkachou@reddit

I think very few Americans would ask someone they're genuinely friends with for a handout. I grew up with a single mom with a moderate income but went to school in a nice neighborhood with plenty of wealthy classmates, and even though my mom was friends with the kind of people who had a mansion, there was never any talk of money like that.

I think winning the lottery is a separate thing, since it's not seen as earned income, and it's usually people going from very poor to very rich suddenly that causes a bunch of family members and "friends" to come out of the woodwork to ask for money. I'd have less of an issue asking a friend who had a huge lottery win for money than I would a friend who made a lot of money through hard work.

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jorwyn@reddit

I went to high school with, and was friends with, rich kids when I was very poor. I absolutely would never have asked for money or for them to pay for me, but if they offered to pay my way to things they wanted us to do together, I didn't say no. At least, not after I did say no for a while and they pestered me until I went along.

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AnotherPint@reddit

The only exception to the handout request taboo, in my experience, has to do with older friends facing large medical bills. I have had one or two distant acquaintances from an old workplace — the kind of situation where we knew each other’s names, but rarely if ever met — run into cancer diagnoses, run out of money, and ask for help on the company alumni Facebook page. I was happy to help, as were a lot of people. I think crushing medical debt is an increasingly acceptable hook for friends-and-family financial appeals in the US.

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RioTheLeoo@reddit

It’s normal for close friends to help each other through hard times if they’re able to, but just straight up asking for handouts would be a no-no.

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Born_blonde@reddit

Yeah I agree. I’m not ‘wealthy’ but I’m much better off than a few of my friends. Recently I loaned my friend money to cover his rent because his credit card defaulted (no fault of his own). He had asked, but only because I offered originally when he mentioned he was having a hard time. It wasn’t his first choice. He paid me back, I wasn’t worried about time or interest, i only cared my friend wasn’t evicted. I’d do it again.

My friends never ask me for money otherwise. They don’t expect me to pay for them when we go out, for the most part I don’t. For the most part it’s not something we even talk about.

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jorwyn@reddit

The only time I've outright spent money on a friend besides covering dinner, I pretty much had to force him into it. His roof was badly torn up in a wind storm and due to some ongoing financial issues, he didn't have insurance. He would not take money from me, so I showed up with roofing supplies and started working. I'm much more stubborn than he is, it turns out.

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IHaveALittleNeck@reddit

I recently exited a startup and became very wealthy overnight. My family has asked for help. Sometimes I say yes, sometimes I say no. Only my two closest friends know of my change in circumstances, and they would never ask for anything.

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Iwentforalongwalk@reddit

Not at all. Most people with any pride would only do so out of utter desperation.

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Nyx_Shadowspawn@reddit

I have some wealthy friends, because we live in a very affluent town. My husband and I are not wealthy. My husband is a teacher and I'm disabled. We enjoy parties at their houses where we get to try foods like wagyu beef we'd never get to try otherwise. They enjoy cheaper budget parties at our place. Our kids get to go on fancy excursions with their kids sometimes, and play with expensive toys at their houses, but no one complains when they come over and play in our smaller house with our hand me down toys. I do not ask for handouts, and I don't expect they'd be my friends for long if I was asking them for money like a leech. And if we get a meal together, we split the cost.

My brother is also rich. I do not ask him for handouts either. Though he did hire me, and lets me do whatever I physically can whenever I can, and sometimes that kind of feels like a handout. But at least I'm working for it. I never abuse the time sheet, even though the way he set it up I very much could. But I don't, because I'm not a dick, and it's also my brother's company and I'm not going to abuse that trust.

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blewmesa@reddit

No, not at all.

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grimm1111@reddit

No, it's tacky. But people will still do it because people can be tacky.

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freshamy@reddit

Family constantly asks us for “loans”. Friends don’t, at least in our experience, but they sure don’t rush to grab their wallet when the bill comes, if you know what I mean.

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Tomagander@reddit

ask any even mildly wealthy person

I think a mildly wealthy person would be more likely to experience this than a very wealthy person. A mildly wealthy person is more likely to know more desperate people.

I'm not wealthy. I'm supporting a large family on a middle class income (and I'm using that term correctly, as in "barely above lower middle class" not "barely below wealthy.") in a medium cost of living area. I grew up poor af and no one else in my family has improved. Actually, they're kind of worse, and they think that I'm well off. I get hit up for money by my family often.

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captainpro93@reddit (OP)

That's a good point that I haven't thought of. Thank you for your perspective.

I'm less surprised about family asking for help (I am from East Asia, so its not unexpected,) but what surprised me more is more with friends wanting money, which I always thought of as more of a taboo.

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Darmok-on-the-Ocean@reddit

Lotto winners are huge outliers, and even then, it would typically be family and not friends asking for handouts.

It's extremely uncommon in the US in general. We are very prideful people, especially when it comes to self-sufficiency. My girlfriend is Brazilian and it's kind of shocking to me how much her family go to each other for money. I would rather go without a few meals than ask for money.

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Convergecult15@reddit

I also think with lotto, because it wasn’t “earned” people are much more comfortable asking for a piece of it. If I ever won lotto I wouldn’t tell anyone specifically for this reason, people don’t look at it as your money, the look at it like you’re up at the casino and they want to keep playing roulette.

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Prowindowlicker@reddit

Unfortunately in most states you are required to have your address and name published in order to accept the winnings. Only 18 states allow you to claim it while remaining anonymous.

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Squissyfood@reddit

My girlfriend is Brazilian and it's kind of shocking to me how much her family go to each other for money.

Pride is a privilege honestly, there are tiers of poverty we struggle to comprehend

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Darmok-on-the-Ocean@reddit

Her family is more well off than mine.

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LeadDiscovery@reddit

Its common to be asked or expected to pay for things.. Drinks and or dinner when doing a group night out. I've had people step behind me in a line to xyz entertainment venue.. I know in hopes I just say its on me. I'm no Bezos... not even Bezos' dog... but I've done well enough for people to assume I can cough up $ on the regular.

Years ago I rented an apt. with a roommate split the rent 50/50. The complex offered a 1 free month rent ($800) if you got somebody to sign a lease there. I worked retail at the time and was hustling every angle to save money. I referred 12 customers to the complex and got about 8 to sign up in a 6 mo. period. My pitch to these people was, hey, you sign a lease and use my name I will kick you back $200. When I get my cut. It worked, so my total take was $600... and my portion of the rent was $400.

After a few months my roommate realized I wasn't sending or dropping off a check to the main office. I told him about my referrals... He was pissed I didn't give him half...? I found out about the referral fee, I hustled customers, I made it happen.. he was not involved in the slightest...

I was shocked, but another common friend backed him up and said he would have given him half ...

What say you?

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LineRex@reddit

Most people do not have wealthy friends lol.

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cdb03b@reddit

For most people? No.

Asking friends or family for money is seen as a personal failure and for most people only done under extreme duress and emergency.

Winning the lottery, when talked about in this manner, is talking about people who win the big lotteries. We are talking hundreds of millions of dollars or even over a billion. This is more likely to have people poke around and see if they can get money from the friend or family member, but it is still seen as shameful. It is just less so because the money involved is so large (thus not likely to affect the wealthy person) and because it was not earned.

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reasonarebel@reddit

I would literally rather die starving than ask someone for money. My family is this way, most people I know are this way.

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captainpro93@reddit (OP)

That was kind of a surprise to me. I am originally from Taiwan/Japan, and this is absolutely a thing that people do in China/Korea/Taiwan/Japan to varying extents, but one of the things I really liked about Europe/USA was that this was something that didn't happen here and I felt that it was very looked down upon.

I think I have a lot of friends across a large wealth spectrum, from American friends who are heirs/heiresses to decently to very large corporations in China/Korea/TW/HK, friends who are making very little money while doing their residency programs and living in one bedroom studios, and American friends who make good money but have parents that moved to USA as poor and working-class people. I thought it was nice that in USA, my wealthier friends didn't treat me like someone to subsidize, and my less wealthy friends never asked me for anything more than a job recommendation or to help them out with learning some technical skills.

I've lived in Northern/Western Europe and USA for about 13 years total, and this has been my experience so far, so I thought I had a pretty good grasp on things, but am I just crazy?

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Dr_Watson349@reddit

Independence and self-reliance is a cornerstone of American culture. Offering to pay for someone else is akin to an insult as your basically saying they are failing at being American.

Obviously there are some exceptions. If a buddy just got fired, you might say "bro we are going to the bar, and drinks are on me". But generally, no you wouldn't do this.

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LoudCrickets72@reddit

It definitely is looked down upon here. Americans generally hate the idea of "handouts" and mooching off a friend. It demonstrates lack of individual willpower and self-reliance, two of which are traits that Americans tend to value.

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Ok_Perception1131@reddit

Look at how many non-lottery winners complain on Reddit about families asking or even demanding money from family! Now imagine the same family knows the OP just won $800 million.

I’ve seen how grubby people get when someone dies. It’s awful.

Sometimes people you think are ethical turn rotten once money is involved.

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captainpro93@reddit (OP)

That makes sense! The thread was about a fake 20,000 lottery scratcher, so I was thinking smaller amounts haha

I think it's expected with family. I know this is very common amongst families but it's just not something I've ever experienced with friends!

I know people who come from extremely wealthy families, others who are not quite as wealthy but have generational wealth from their firm getting acquired for tens of milions, and I know people who are barely making ends meet living in a studio apartment while doing their residencies (60k a year with a ton of medical school debt while working 80 hours a week in a HCOL area, so no time for a second job.) Even among these extremes I've never heard of people asking for handouts. It's always just stories about family. For example, one person in our broader social circle hasn't paid back his father for funding his undergraduate education, or a friend's brother lying to his parents about how much his nanny costs since they agreed to cover the costs, but never anything between peers.

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zignut66@reddit

No, never in my experience. Perhaps in a dire emergency.

I have noticed crowd funding for non-emergencies has become more common, which is weird for me, but I’m old (in my 40s), so not trying to judge. But I must admit that seeing someone publish a GoFundMe on their social media to raise money for rent is strange from my perspective.

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baalroo@reddit

Winning the lottery isn't a normal situation. When your friend all of a sudden get 800 million dollars for spending a buck at the gas station, yeah, you're gonna ask for a little bit of it. I mean, what's 10k when they got 800 million basically for free?

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captainpro93@reddit (OP)

The thread was about a 20,000 lottery win, so I was thinking smaller amounts haha

But the comment I was quoting was more about wealthy people in general, not just lottery winners

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baalroo@reddit

Well, when I cashed out $14k from Dogecoin, I pretty openly told my friends and family, and no one asked for money. But for most of my friends and family, a small portion of that wouldn't be worth asking for unless they had a very specific plan for it.

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Squissyfood@reddit

If a friend had some really crappy financial luck I'd float them a few hundred so they can at least eat something good. Don't expect it to be paid back at all though (you never should with friend and family).

On the other hand if I knew my friend won the lottery or was making ass loads more than me, I would rib them on forever to pick up the bar tab (assuming we were friends pre-wealth).

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SheZowRaisedByWolves@reddit

Had an unreasonably wealthy friend growing up. He’d either dole out gifts like it was no one’s business or step in if we couldn’t afford something. Dude bought me an Xbox one when I was short $300 after selling my stuff.

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sean8877@reddit

You're lucky, I had a rich friend growing up and he was the stingiest MF'er and would never pay for anything. He would also make fun of my family for not being well off, didn't miss the guy at all once I moved out of the area.

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sean8877@reddit

No, most non-moocher types (most people hopefully) would not feel right doing that. But there are some people who are "moochers" and would probably hit up a wealthy friend for a loan or an "investment opportunity" lol.

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Juiceton-@reddit

Generally, no. What you do have is a little bit of a social expectation for the wealthier friends to pay for more of the things you go to and do. And if it’s still split (for pride reasons, typically) the wealthier one will get the more expensive part (ie they get the nice concert tickets and the poorer friend buys supper). If it’s a situation where the poorer friend is about to lose their house then it might change but most people are financially stable enough for that to not happen — contrary to what Redditors may lead you to believe.

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NoPhotojournalist939@reddit

It is not common, but it does happen. In my experience, the asker uses the idea of it being a loan, but it never gets paid back. My SIL did this so many times with her parents over the past 20 years and still feels entitled to more of their assets. A few friends start gofundmes and spam their socials asking for various reasons like dental work, help after a serious accident, etc.

Generally, people who ask for $ repeatedly are either terrible with money or genuinely believe it is ok for others to subsidize their lifestyle. That would make me feel ashamed as if I am incapable. 🤷‍♀️

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Nottacod@reddit

No, it's rude.

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zeroentanglements@reddit

My brother gets fucked up and asks me for money sometimes

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TheBimpo@reddit

I would go homeless before asking friends for money.

It's not unusual for people to ask friends for small loans or ask wealthy people they know to help them start a business or something like that.

We've got a fairly intense culture of independence and being self-made, it's part of the "kicking kids out at 18" trope that gets asked about in this forum. Parenting here tends to be focused towards raising a person who's a functional adult and can take care of themselves. Moving out as a teen has long been viewed as a stepping stone in becoming a grown up, of being an adult, of having privacy and something of your own.

Asking my doctor pal for a handout, absolutely not.

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Throw-low-volume6505@reddit

I wouldn't ask anyone for money I would be ashamed and feel like a beggar.

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Bluemonogi@reddit

I would not ask a friend for money. I think it certainly happens but it is not something I would do.

There are people who will sponge off of their not very wealthy friends so of course there are those who would attach themselves to more well off people and ask for money.

Family will often have expectations if you suddenly came into money.

Not just the lottery but maybe a settlement from a lawsuit would put you at a higher level than your friends or family and you might not want to advertise how much.

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Redbubble89@reddit

No.

I know I make more than my friends but only one of them has made it uncomfortable. If any of the teacher's need school supplies, I would rather earmark the money, have it go through a charity, or donate physical items. I have my own expenses but I am just more comfortable when it comes to money. I don't like to be asked.

Lottery is completely different.

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Irak00@reddit

Those people exist- they’re called vultures.

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typhoidmarry@reddit

I’m not wealthy but I’ve got a niece who asks to borrow a few hundred dollars every 3 months or so.

As long as she keeps paying me back, I’ll keep loaning it to her.

Nobody’s ever just flat out asked me to give them money. Thats tacky af

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ExtremePotatoFanatic@reddit

I’m sure some people do it. It’s trashy to do so. I wouldn’t ask anyone for money, it’s so rude.

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Steamsagoodham@reddit

No

There have been instances where someone wins the lottery and then says this is a problem, but people winning the lottery is extremely rare and most winner who are able to properly manage their money and relationships probably aren’t out complaining about it.

Reddit likes to mention these people all the time and it’s likely one of those redditisms that gets upvoted more because it sounds interesting and is what people want to hear as opposed to being an accurate reflection of reality.

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shelwood46@reddit

It seems to be far more common for the lottery winners themselves to spend lavishly -- which can include giving money voluntarily to family and friends, but more often on stuff -- and make terrible investments until they are broke again.

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rrsafety@reddit

I’ve never had it happen but I’ve heard athletes talk about it a lot. I would never ask anyone for money.

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rawbface@reddit

You are confusing two situations. In normal real life, it's not common to ask wealthy friends for money - in fact, that sort of thing is frowned upon. We are a nation of personal responsibility and self determination.

But when someone wins the lottery (as in millions of dollars) they can become a cash cow for predatory people around them, if they are not smart and strategic with their financial planning. Even if majority of people are polite and treat them normally and don't ask for money, they will still have grifters and scammers following them everywhere, and an estranged first cousin once removed that all of a sudden considers family the most important thing in the world.

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machagogo@reddit

No.

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PartyCat78@reddit

I don’t think it’s necessarily common, but by reading Reddit it seems to be. It’s incredibly tacky, but there are people that don’t care about tact.

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Kencleanairsystem2@reddit

I’m still friends with my wealthy friends because I don’t ask them for money

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Chance-Business@reddit

With the exception of the time of school kids when I was 12-16 years old, I've actually never come across this in my entire life, meeting people (fully functional adults) who asked or were asked for money. However, I've heard tons of stories.

So I guess it's "the kind of person you surround yourself with" kind of situation.

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Next_Firefighter7605@reddit

Yes. You don’t even have to win the lottery. My husband has a decent middle class job but his family and everyone he grew up with live in poverty. We have been harassed, threatened, and sued.

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WrongJohnSilver@reddit

Directly asking for handouts? No. Most Americans loathe thinking of doing so, even when they need it.

Heck, I've had friends in dire straits, and I've helped them. However, even in such cases, if I were to just give them the money, it would be a faux pas and shameful for the receiver. Instead, I need to be buying something from them, or giving them a gift for a special occasion like a graduation (a birthday gift is okay for smaller amounts). That removes any feeling of obligation or shame in return.

It's a sticky situation.

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Subvet98@reddit

Not if you want to stay friends

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albertnormandy@reddit

You wouldn't ask someone for money they work for unless you really needed it, it'd be considered rude. Lottery money is considered "free money", so you'd have less aversion to asking someone to give you some of it.

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Current_Poster@reddit

In the Case of a lottery win, people might see it differently than if it were income from some other source. Like " you just had a bag of money dropped on you, can I have some?"

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corro3@reddit

you don't actually have to be better off, if people perceive you as better off for some reason, they'll stick their hand out

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Charliegirl121@reddit

Most people don't ask because they want to do it on their own. It's a uncomfortable situation. If they say no it could damage the relationship. If they say yes, is their a contract brought up? Is there interest? If theres no contract, how do you get your money?

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