Oh dear God, I don't miss those days at all. The unmitigated bullshit from my (mostly) male bosses during my early years, the sexist crap they used to sling at any woman under the age of 40 (including my one boss who was literally the head of human resources!), and the way they'd speak down to you as if you were absolutely, stunningly, thicker than shit. I don't miss that. I miss being young, full of energy, and could generally just quit a job without feeling like I was losing a whole career. I don't miss the rest of it, though.

Thinking back on the head of HR, I just remembered him giving me a nice bottle of Halston (his wife obviously chose it) for Christmas and we all opened our gifts during a special lunch the company took us to at a very fancy restaurant. I oohed and aahed appropriately and thanked him. He said, I kid you not, "your regular perfume is pretty, but this'll get the men instantly hard for you." My officemates and I all gave healthy fake laughs. The one woman who didn't was the admin manager to the company president (who wasn't in attendance), and she cleared her throat, cutting off all the fake jocularity ("jocularity! Jocularity!" ~ Father Mulcahey, MASH) and then she calmly said, "Richard [the formal version, naturally], you know better than to speak like that to any of the young women in this office. In fact, you know better than to speak like that to anyone in the entire company in this manner. I don't care if you just got back from two weeks out at the plants, crudeness is inappropriate. Ladies, shall we go powder our noses for a moment?" God, I loved that woman. When we returned, he apologized to all of us profusely, and to me, he apologized several times. He continued to apologize in the car as we all drove back together.

As to the whole time off request thing, it proved problematic for me only when I had a boss who was trying to prove how powerful they were. Before I'd taken the job, I'd made it clear I would always need to have a specific three days in a row off due to an annual commitment. She agreed to it easily and wholeheartedly. I asked it to be included in the offer letter. It was. Naturally, when I put in my annual request (I put it in at exactly 1 minute after midnight the first day I could submit the request - they had to be date and time stamped), she acknowledged she received my request (everyone had to have a receipt), and then I waited. And I waited. And I waited. Considering that three day period was guaranteed in writing, I shouldn't have needed to wait for the formal notification that my request was approved. When I hadn't heard back a month out, I stopped by her office to inquire. "What do you want?" I was just wondering when you send out the time off request approvals. "When I approve something, you'll know. I usually don't send out anything until the schedule is posted." Of course, my request was denied. I was put on the schedule for all three of the days I needed off. My request form was marked denied, crumpled, smoothed out, and attached to the top of my schedule. I went to see her again about it. I asked why I had been denied because she had agreed to this as a condition of me accepting the offer, and she put it in writing. "The offer letter isn't binding. I had too many requests off for that time period. You were the last one hired." I pointed out the timestamp of my request, as that was what our handbook stated was the only determining factor regarding "seniority" when it came to anything less than five consecutive days off. "I just told you my decision. Get back to work." And she slammed her door in my face, causing two of the charge nurses on duty to look out of the conference room.

I was disappointed. Okay, I was mad. Very mad. The charge nurses waved me in and asked what had happened. I showed them the schedule with my request as I told them about the offer letter and the whole thing. They looked at each other and said, "Don't worry about it. We got your back. What dates can't you work before or after those days?" I can work any days and shifts. "Which days and shifts would you prefer?" I didn't even need to think it over and told them. "Give us 48 hours." 48 hours later, I had the perfect schedule with the days off I had requested. Signed by the unit manager herself. All that had been required were two signatures from charge nurses from day shift and two from nights. I had six from days, five from nights (would have been more, but days off means days off). I loved how my charge nurses went above and beyond for me, and I truly appreciated how they waited for her to personally acknowledge and sign the schedule change. It was their personal fuck you to the boss. They also filed a copy and a complaint with HR about it because she had chosen to disregard the offer letter (enforceable) and hospital policy regarding requests. Plus, I wasn't the first nurse she'd done it to.

That sort of thing has been happening more and more frequently over the years. Managers don't like having to play by official rules, get angry if they are called on not following policy, and they go out of their way to play the "don't you know who I am" game. The younger they are, the less they feel the need to do it. The older they are, the more blatant they are with their pettiness. The minute I was told I couldn't go back to nursing after being injured on the job, I couldn't decide if I should cry over losing the best career I'd ever had or laugh with gleeful abandon because I would no longer need to deal with the crazy egos or power trips some of the nurses in management or supervisory positions played. It's been a few years and I am still not sure which way to feel.

I tend to side with the younger generations these days. Life is just as important as work. Most professional positions are always seeking better employees. Employers don't try to cheap out on pay because everyone pretty much knows how to find salary info for individual companies online. Employers have begun to realize they're doing themselves a great disservice if they don't make a position within that company, in that facility, in that department as attractive as possible, they'll miss out on an excellent employee. Companies also know employees no longer see regular moves between departments or organizations as something to fear. A lateral move is sometimes better for their career if it means there are more opportunities to learn and if they have more opportunities for advancement. I had feared doing so myself until I went into nursing. I mean, I didn't see that at first, but it made sense as I understood what was possible the more I learned along the way. That's what younger generations taught me. Could they make a tweak or two in there? Of course! Every generation has always had some fine tuning to do, but by the time they see how they could have made their way better, it's time to retire.

Life's too short at this point to take crap from shitty bosses. It's also still just a little bit too long to do anything to make the rest of your life more difficult. We're perpetually going to struggle trying to find balance.