How to fix my life at 30?
Posted by BothCost817@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 24 comments
I'm not really used to writing on Reddit so any formatting errors etc I apologise for in advance.
I also apologise if this is in the wrong sub.
Im not going to sugar coat this im a 30 year old functional (barely) drug addict, I have had fitness goals in the past that I can't seem to stick to despite the desire.
I make decent(?) (34k) money, especially for my profession with no higher training but I feel this isn't enough that's not too put down anyone who might be making less than me.
I am VERY good at my job however I am on the verge of losing because of my attendance due to addiction (and honestly they've been amazingly supportive for me without knowing the real reasons so I can't fault them at all) I have no real friends who arnt also of this way off life.
Thought I'd give Reddit a chance too see if any kind person can give me some guidance to leave the this horrible numb existence.
seola76@reddit
Based on your post you don't have a bad life overall, you have an addiction. And your post suggests that you know this. Your job isn't bad and having on and off fitness goals is a very normal problem. The only stand out issues are secondary to your drug use.
I think you should reframe your outlook on it. "Fixing your life" is a very big, set of problems. Overcoming drug addiction is extremely challenging but it's one singular thing to focus on.
The fact you want to reset your life is good, because that's probably what it will take. So many people trying to stop addiction get pulled back in because they can't fully remove drugs from their lifestyle.
Delicious-Cut-7911@reddit
I am a 68 year old female who was prescribed valium and my body became dependent. I tapered off the drug with the help of a support group and suffered terribly. I understand addiction is different scenario because you crave the highs, I did it and I'm now 2 years off. You have to get off this drug if you want to live a good life. Do not mix with people who are taking this drug. Your whole personality will change when off the drug and you will become the real you. Join a facebook support group as these people will keep you postive and move forward and away from a life of drugs. You are so very young and earn good money. There is a whole new world of happiness just waiting for you.
Ok_Butterscotch8755@reddit
One thing sticks out here (aside from the fact that you obviously need to stop using), is that you’re part of a circle of ‘friends’ who are also focussed on drug use.
Make no mistake, these people will do anything they can to stop you leaving this path, cut them out as soon as possible and seek treatment for addiction as others have mentioned - but without you leaving this group you will never stick to it.
Adorable_Finish2524@reddit
100%
Darkheart001@reddit
I’d suggest trying Narcotics Anonymous (www.ukna.org), they provide support and fellowship, companionship, it’s as much social as it is treatment. I’ve none people who completely turned their lives around through these programs. Do something now before things get much worse (and they can).
Either_Acanthaceae_1@reddit
What class of drugs ?
caranchoa76@reddit
At 35, my life was in shambles. I was an addict with no job and no support system. I made the life-changing decision to move to the UK and start from scratch. I took whatever work I could find - kitchen porter, cleaner, McDonald’s employee, laborer. But through it all, I never stopped learning and taking courses to improve myself. Now, at 42, I’m working as an engineer in a laboratory. My journey taught me the importance of setting small, achievable goals. If you can’t reach your goals, change your approach, not the goals themselves. No matter how messy your life seems, keep fighting. Sometimes you need to start over and be brave. It’s never too late to turn your life around.
If you want some help to start DM
netspeedy@reddit
Admitting that you have a problem is a huge and courageous step toward recovery, so you should genuinely be proud of yourself for that. It shows that deep down, you want to change, and that's a powerful thing.
The next step is reaching out for help, and your GP can connect you with the right resources—whether it's medication, therapy, or support groups. These tools can make a real difference in easing your journey.
I know changing your social circle isn't easy, but surrounding yourself with people who support your recovery is key to staying on track. You deserve to live a life where you can thrive, not just survive.
Please remember that you're not alone in this, and there are people out there who genuinely want to help you succeed. I wish you all the best and all the strength as you take these steps toward a better, healthier life. You're stronger than you realize.
greylord123@reddit
You've answered your own question.
Get off the drugs. I know it's a lot more difficult than I'm making it sound but that's your answer.
BothCost817@reddit (OP)
I guess I know the answer but my social circle is literally centred around this, I obviously want too I’m just lost about how to go about it
Fantastic-Support524@reddit
Your social circle can just fuck off then. Seriously you need to listen to yourself. Your problem is drugs but it’s being perpetuated by your social circle. Ditch your ‘friends’ and seek help for the addiction.
Tzunamitom@reddit
I won’t repeat what everyone else is saying, because the point about leaving your social circle has been made.
What do you not know how to do? Leave your social circle? Find new friends? Get support?
havetoachievefailure@reddit
I had a group of friends including my best friend that started getting into drugs, first it was drinking and smoking (at 14-15), then weed, then it was speed, ket, mdma, heroine - anything. The whole group was at it, always trying to get me to try stuff. Watch how quickly they'll remain your mates when you stop joining in, being a debbie downer.
I'll give it to you straight you need to ditch ALL your 'friends' in this social circle. Literally just wake up tomorrow, remove and block them from all your social media, block and delete them from your phone SIM, WhatsApp, everything else. A clean slate.
There's no point seeking help for your drug addiction when your 'friends' will drag you back down at every meet. You know it.
ResponsibleRub4269@reddit
Bit of a hard truth, to which you touched on here with "social circle", yet in the post used "real friends". They are not friends, they are people you take drugs with.
Guarantee if you stop the drugs you'd have no reason to hang out with these people. You can do it.
ThaFlyingYorkshiremn@reddit
If your social circle is centred around that one thing and that one thing is ruining your life, you need to get out of that social circle. Start by visiting your GP and getting help for the addiction.
LucDA1@reddit
Does your job have a benefit scheme? There could be easy access to therapist sessions over the phone with which you could discuss your drug addiction and they can point you in the right direction.
If not, you can go to your local GP and they can guide you.
You're very brave trying to get out of the hole you're in and you've already made the first step in looking for help. Don't step off the first rung, you got this man, use the momentum you find yourself in. The momentum is so important ❤️
PerformerOk450@reddit
The bad news is drugs take everything from you, the good news is you get all of it back, if you give them up before it's too late.
verykindzebra@reddit
I can't offer any advice with respect to drugs, and others have already done so. What I will say is that you probably don't realise this, but you are very young. I am half as old as you again and I still feel young. You have so much time to turn things around. Get off the drugs, and one day years from now you'll look back and hardly recognise the problems you're facing today. You won't be able to believe how much your life has changed and how much happier you are.
It's a cliché but take the first step, then take the second. A year from now you'll have walked a mile.
Free-Translator4141@reddit
There are some great resources online that may help to at least some steps towards a better life. Over the past decade people like Gabor Mate have introduced new ways of thinking about addiction. Mate has countless interviews on Youtube. I also like Tim Fletcher, but there are many others out there.
PetersMapProject@reddit
Are you getting professional help for your addiction?
BothCost817@reddit (OP)
I’m not, I’m in a deficit money wise and I just feel too overwhelmed too know where to start
iambeherit@reddit
You start by going to your GP.
Drop your friends. I dunno what you're addicted to but I know what friends come with a heroin addiction and I promise you'll be ok without them if they're anything like that.
You're 30, not 70. But I'd advise you get your shit together right now.
Get it done dude, you know what yiu need to do.
PetersMapProject@reddit
The drugs are the thing that's dragging you down... honestly if there's one thing to tackle, it's the drugs
Ben_JM@reddit
Well the biggest thing you can do for yourself is obviously quit drugs. Getting clean will give you more energy and time to invest in yourself, create good habits like gym/exercise, start looking for a new job etc.
I’d advise getting help with quitting - if I’m not mistaken the NHS does offer help and there are other free charities that can help. Even if it’s a drug/drugs that doesn’t have a physical withdrawal, counselling and support will still help.
If you don’t want to use a service to help get clean. You’ll need to explore the reasons why you are using drugs and make decisions on what you can do to fix any reasons making you turn to drugs. Hanging around with friends/family who encourage it? Drop them. Using to get through life? Work to improve your life.